Grinnblade posted:

I'm going to need the EC owners to post their rosters in this thread, with any trades/roster moves that you have made editted in.

Don May posted:

MERCILESS BANGERS STEAL EURO AND US TITLES FROM ELEPHANTS

San Juan- At the center of the Super-League is a miserable, dark heart. A gaping wound that steals the life and happiness, and makes this league a crueler, meaner place.

This unholy core is called the Fukuoka Finger-Bangers.

The Elephants are probably never going to win a Super-League Championship. There is a good chance that they will be relegated after the season. But at least they had their European and United States Championships. That was proof, incontrovertible proof that they mattered, even if only in some small way on the fringes of the Dynamo League.

But the Finger-Bangers could not allow them this small victory, and won each of the two games of this three-game series. One more win, and the Bangers would takes the titles from the Elephants, cast them into a pit of anonymity, there to be forgotten by all. So, on this day, the most important game the Elephants had played, and likely would ever play, the Elephants could not let themselves lose. Bert Blyleven, their starter, took the team on his back, and threw scoreless inning after scoreless inning. But, in the bottom of the eighth, he was pulled for a pinch-hitter, and would not be able to complete the game.

Larry Andersen, the man with the golden slider, came on to finish the game for the Elephants, who held a 2-0 lead. But the power of the Bangers was too much. The Bangers' offense roared to life and scored four runs, taking a 4-2 lead as Marauder laughed from the visitors' dugout.

There was still one hope, though. One last chance for the Elephants to take back this game. Denis Menke led off the inning with a double that he stretched into a triple. Hornsby then hit a double of his own to score Menke, narrowing the Bangers' lead to 4-3. The Elephants could feel it, they were still alive, still vital, they could win this game.

But the Bangers were not so easily denied. After a Davey Lopes strikeout, a desperate Hornsby tried to steal third off of Berra. He was out by ten feet, and a darkness fell over the stadium. The Elephants had gone from a runner in scoring position with no outs to no baserunners with two outs. With his victory nearly assured, Marauder ordered Musial to be hit by a pitch, just because he could. Joe Torre then grounded out to third base, and the European and United States Titles returned to the Finger-Bangers.

"Let me be blunt, I have no real use for these titles," Marauder smugly stated in his post-game press conference, "This is my third time winning the United States Title, my fourth time winning the European Title. At this point, they mean little more to me then a couple more decorations on my banner. There's no sense of accomplishment, no feeling that I have done something worth celebrating. These titles give me no joy. But they did make tatankatonk happy, they made it seem like his team meant something, and that I would not allow. This is my league, I own it. Your teams play here at my sufferance, and any successes you achieve are success that I allow. I took these titles to remind you all of that. We are the Finger-Bangers, and we are endless. Your teams will die, forgotten and unmourned while we reach ever greater heights of glory. Be grateful I allow you to bask in our reflected glory."

Don May posted:

ORANGES TAKE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE FROM DICKSHOTS

Florida City- Well, this was a shot to the dick.

In a battle between the Florida teams who, by virtue of their location, are continually marked for death by the Commissar of the Super-League, the Dickshots were trying to hold onto the Intercontinental Championship while the Oranges were concerned with trying to reunite the players featured in the 1992 Simpsons episode "Homer at the Bat", and thus allowing him to relive such great memories as Ozzie Smith falling down the Mystery Spot and Mike Scioscia getting radiation poisoning. According to sources, oldskool, owner of the Oranges, has reportedly purchased several barrels of toxic waste exactly for that purpose.

So, one would think that that more focused Dickshots would be able to put away the Oranges without too much trouble.

You would think wrong.

The Oranges held the Dickshots to six hits and one walk over nine innings as they strolled to a 5-0 victory to win their fourth Intercontinental Championship. Not that oldskool really cared, "Listen, brosef, I don't really care about the Intercontinental Championship. That's not going to get me laid or drunk! Now classic Simpsons? Chick dig classic Simpsons!"

Monicro, the owner of the Dickshots, probably made some comments after the game, but as he was in timeout for rooting against the Packers last Saturday, no one knows what those comments are. Presumably, there were words of repentance, apologizing for speaking ill of Aaron Rodgers, and praying that someday he might be forgiven. Of course, forgiveness for such a sin is quite impossible, and his team has nothing to look forward but grim relegation and an even grimmer obituary, but, with any luck, others will learn by counter-example.

Game Notes

-Pedro Martinez was dealt by the Oranges immediately after the game, along with Johan Santana for Pete Alexander, who is currently missing a working elbow.

-Ichiro Suzuki, like some sort of baseball vampire, has drained the contact hitting skills of every other player on the Oranges.

-The next person who put their team in Florida is going to get their legs broke, capice?

theacox posted:

Wasn't Smasher gonna take a day off. Are his days like 8 hours long?

Smasher, just now posted:

Super-League VIII, Week 14: Remember when I said 'no update'? I lied.

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Analysis
Did the Spooners win their trade? Only time will tell. But, well, if they avoid the Gauntlet, then they did, if not, then they didn't.

Pander posted:

dubsteppin posted:

A team, allright.

Faustoan Bargain posted:

Am I too late to make trades with EC teams? Because I AM STILL LOOKING FOR ONE MORE STARTER .

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0An1vnNr07Cg1dExCRUtvbzFrNDZYYTVpOHJKelRPVlE#gid=0

I'm most equipped to offer outfield help, but I don't think anyone is totally off-limits. (I'll also point out that while Konerko is at AAA thanks to difficulties against SL pitching, he was an EC All-Star and made it to the HR Derby finals at that event. He could certainly help an EC club looking for an advantage at 1B.)

Faustoan Bargain posted:

Am I too late to make trades with EC teams? Because I AM STILL LOOKING FOR ONE MORE STARTER .

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0An1vnNr07Cg1dExCRUtvbzFrNDZYYTVpOHJKelRPVlE#gid=0

I'm most equipped to offer outfield help, but I don't think anyone is totally off-limits. (I'll also point out that while Konerko is at AAA thanks to difficulties against SL pitching, he was an EC All-Star and made it to the HR Derby finals at that event. He could certainly help an EC club looking for an advantage at 1B.)

mentholmoose posted:

Even though I'm not an EC owner, wouldn't it make more sense to split the McQueen league's divisions 5 and 5? Or is that a Mogul limitation?

BearDrivingTruck posted:

I'm sorry I wasn't around for the last while; some personal issues happened. Anything that I need to do?

Smasher Dynamo posted:

You got Bob Shawkey in the draft, so you'll probably also want to put him in your rotation.

And you might want to get an avatar that isn't so...well...non-tendered.