BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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StupidSexyMothman: Aug 9, 2010

mentholmoose posted:

oldskool is right, though; the Oranges had by far the best team that got relegated so far. It is quite a shame they got relegated, because I really liked the team.

To go into more depth beyond :toot:

:
In the outfield:
Bonds & Griffey are going to hit home runs and even steal some bases, in exchange for not taking walks and playing average at best defense. Ichiro isn't going to hit homeruns or take walks, but he'll probably consistently hit .320 and steal 20 bases so lead him off.

Moving to the infield:
Pujols is the 2007 version, so he's got no injury record to speak of, will hit around .270 with 20 home runs. He's probably the best player of the lot, because he can play 3 positions below average or worse, whereas everyone else on the Oranges was mediocre at one position and worthless anywhere else. McGwire, again young, won't hit for much average but seems to mash homers like nobody's business. Lajoie is a complete crapshoot; he can play second, but his poor defense makes that a bad fit. His other position is first base, but he doesn't really have the power you'd like at the position & you'll never make up that power in a better-defending 2B so it's an overall negative to play him at first. If he hits .350+ like he did for his first few seasons with the Oranges, then the lackluster defense (and potentially even the lack of power, depending on your lineup) is acceptable. If he sputters like he's done in the last few seasons he's a complete disaster. It is really strange, and feels wrong, to say a guy hitting .260 in the SL is a disaster, but his sole redeeming trait is a high average with bunches of XBH. If his average dips, he's a detriment to your team because he doesn't have the power, speed or defense to offset a lack of base-hit production. Trammell is pretty much a .260 hitter who will hit around 15 home runs and not embarrass you defensively at shortstop. Mauer is another gamble; he hits for average with a bit of power and speed due to his youth (the 2006 version was his second-highest career season in batting average, home runs and steals), his defense is good for the Super-League since the deadball catcher nerf, and he doesn't seem to get injured much. When he does get hurt though it's usually a major injury, so you'll have him until you don't & once he's gone you're relying on your backup catchers exclusively, meaning you have to have 3 catchers in a 28-man roster to really be prepared.

On the bench:
Kiki Cuyler is a good player that got benched because I drafted Ichiro to play RF immediately after acquiring him and couldn't justify benching Bonds, Griffey or Ichiro for him. Should be a starter somewhere, very good player. Taffy Wright has no business being good but I couldn't get the guy to hit below .300 no matter how much or little he played. Ozzie Smith is very good defensively but somehow managed an on-base percentage 20 points lower than his batting average in the Gauntlet. Eddie Mathews is decrepit, do not draft him. He's in his next-to-last season, he is all but guaranteed to drop off a cliff statistically during the season. Rusty Staub isn't awful, he'll be a mediocre player for you and a good late-round pick to bolster an outfield. Canseco is relatively young, I believe, but again my outfield was stacked and he never played. Andy Van Slyke is mediocre. Placido Polanco is a great late-round draft pick, he served me very well to the point where he's one of the few players left from my initial draft class. Another is Mike Lieberthal, who served well as a backup catcher (which meant he played a bunch whenever Mauer went out). Coleman should be a good base stealer but he's not a great hitter or defender and you don't have the in-game control to effectively use him as a pinch runner. Pat Collins did well as a backup backup catcher whenever Mauer got hurt, but not well enough to usurp Lieberthal's claim to the primary replacement throne. Scioscia never got used.

To the rotation:
Clemens is dominant. Alexander didn't work out for me but I only got to see him in 40 games. Welch is a complete roll of the dice, this is his 1990 20-win season; another victim of Mogul 13, I suspect, as he did a lot better before the changeover. Brown is the 1997 team, so Smasher hates him but he's not bad. Good groundball pitcher if you have the infield defense for him (I did not and he still did OK, to be fair). Viola is left-handed and maybe it was just Tropicana but no left-hander did consistently well for me. Falkenberg is a deadballer, Antonelli was more injured than useful, LSDock Ellis was a name that didn't do well for me.

To the bullpen:
Eckersley should be great for you. Wagner is a very good strikeout pitcher but he also tends to give up a lot of homeruns as a result. Nathan seems to be a mix of the two who can't quite be as good as either, but not a bad selection. Reardon is a right-handed Wagner. Neshek seems totally dependent on rating; good rating, good pitcher, bad rating, bad pitcher. Innis was always bad for me, as was Franco.

SUMMONING THE JOBA:
It angers Smasher, so be forewarned of that. As far as actual performance goes, he requires a cautious eye. He can average 9 K/9 which is great for a starter, but he'll give up more homeruns than his other power-pitching counterparts because he's young & just not as good as them. If you ride him until the wheels start coming off, he's very good in a pinch and performed above expectations in long relief. Try to keep riding after the wheels have fallen off, and he'll drag you under with him. He's great for spot starts, especially against teams that lack power or discipline, but a full-time rotation gig really isn't the best option.

My final bit of advice harkens back to the same advice you got when you started, and that you hopefully followed: have a team concept in mind and build to that concept. Draft need over name. If you have a cavernous outfield, don't draft a "power hitter" OF who can't run or throw. If you rely on groundball pitchers, don't draft infielders who can't pull off double plays.

# ? Feb 9, 2013 04:24

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# ? May 23, 2024 23:57

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Man, this is never going to work.

Owner: BearDrivingTruck
Location: Albany, CA
Home Grounds: AT&T Park

Teams Used
1934 New York Giants
1957 Chicago White Sox
1989 San Francisco Giants
1996 Pittsburgh Pirates

Past Records
Expansion Cup VII
89-75, 2nd Place, Sub-Tropicals Division
Super-League VIII
69-93, 5th Place, Sic Transit Vir Division
Gauntlet VII
Round 3: 22-18, 3rd Place, Relegated

Title History
2x Hardcore Champions
1x Interim Intercontinental Champion

Obit

So, as you guys know, BearDrivingTruck left this thread a while ago, but, before he did, he and I came up with some possible spinoff projects for the members of his now-relegated team. Now, unfortunately, most of them are a bit unfinished, and the ones that are done aren't very good and, due to legal issues, the pitch about Billy Pierce getting his own talk show had to be removed.

PITCH #1: Atlee Hammaker

Logline: Atlee Hammaker is leading a double life: relief pitcher by day, world's top female assassin by night!

Synopsis: Atlee Hammaker, a star pitcher for the Omaha Forgettables, who drafted him in the latest dispersal draft, has a secret life that he/she is struggling to keep secret. Because, due to old gambling debts, Atlee Hammaker is also the world's top female assassin, trying to raise enough money to buy her way out of a lifetime contract signed with the villainous, if charming, Paul LaPalme.

Sample Episode: Atlee is pitching against the Fukuoka Finger-Bangers, the most evil team in the Dynamo League, when, suddenly, LaPalme orders her to go kill the French Ambassador for the villainous president of Belarus/Majority Shareholder in the Idaho Potatoes, President Lukashenko. But it soon turns out that the situation is even more complicated, as the Ambassador of France turns out to be a werewolf, who has been menacing the people of Omaha for weeks. Atlee is forced to team up with Marauder, who is the only man in Omaha with enough silver to craft a bullet with which to kill the ambassador. Can Atlee stop this deadly diplomat?

PITCH #2: Boots and Braun

Logline: George Grantham and Ryan Braun solve crimes...and continue to suck at defense

Synopsis: George "Boots" Grantham was a cop who didn't play by the rules, until one day, his decision to solve a hostage crisis with a half-ton of C4 led to 50 deaths and his dismissal from the force. Ryan Braun was a promising outfielder in the Super-League, until he failed thirteen drug tests in a row and was given a 15-game ban. Together, they decided to form their own private investigation society, fighting crimes that the cops ignore.

Sample Episode: Ryan Braun discovers a new form PED is being marketed to high school athletes, and he and Boots must go undercover to stop them.

PITCH #3: Hub's

Logline: Carl Hubbell opens his own bar, co-starring Denny Neagle, Jason Schmidt and Bob Brenly

Synopsis: Tired of the grind of playing baseball, Carl Hubbell decides to retire and open his own bar in the bustling Chicago neighborhood of Jefferson Park. His old friends, Denny Neagle, Jason Schmidt, and Bob Brenly, also without jobs because no one in the dispersal draft had any interest in drafting them, soon join him, and they all enter a new and hilarious phase of their lives.

Sample Episode: Hub's liquor license is up for renewal, and the gang is expecting an inspection from the Board of Liquor, and the bar is in no shape for an inspection after the Pulaski Day party. Denny suggests that if they wreck up the bar more, they can pretend that the bar was vandalized, and get the inspection delayed, while Jason suggests paying off the inspector with some money they found in a wallet lost during the party. In another subplot, Bob Brenly takes a bunch of cough medicine to go on a "Chicagoland Peyote Trip" and ends up on a long roadtrip to Arizona, never to be seen again.

Denny and Carl, after wrecking up the bar, decide they might as well cash in on the insurance policy, bringing in their claims adjuster, who is skeptical of the pair, and threatens to write them up for insurance fraud. Just then, the head of the Polish Mafia, who had dropped the wallet comes in, and starts shooting, killing the claims adjuster, and taking back his wallet, as he assumed that the claims adjuster was the one who stole it.

Later, as they clean up the bloodspatter, the inspector finally comes in, and Carl bribes him $500 to pass his bar. As this is Chicago, the bribe is immediately accepted. Denny, Carl, and Jason then admit that they probably could have saved themselves a lot of time if they had just done this from the outset.

PITCH #4: Jason Kendall, M.D.

Logline: Jason Kendall becomes a doctor, with the help of Nurse Holly and the ghost of Mickey Cochrane.

Synopsis: Jason Kendall, a remarkably bad hitter for most of his career, decides to go back to medical school so that he can go back to his first love: medicine. Teaming with Terry Mulholland, who decided to get his nursing license after he got tired of paying nurses to patch up his wounds every time he crashed his motorcycle, and the ghost of Mickey Cochrane, who can't get into heaven until he helps another catcher save 100 patients.

Sample Episode: Jason Kendall faces the toughest test of his career when a patient comes in with a mysterious disease that can only be cured with a kidney transplant, but the only donor match in the vicinity is inside the preserved body of Vladimir Lenin, which is on loan from the Russian government. Will Jason Kendall break international law in order to save the life of his patient?

Mickey, despite being a ghost, wants to get back on the dating scene, and asks Holly for tips. This goes terribly wrong when it turns out that Mickey's date is actually a ghost hunter who is only dating him as part of a plan to get a show on the Syfy network.

PITCH #5: Untitled Bill Terry and Will Clark project

Logline: Bill Terry plays an FBI agent on the trail of a serial killer, Will Clark, and they are both vampires.

PITCH #6: Mel-ky Way

Logline: Mel Ott is abducted by aliens to help them fight some sort of space war.

PITCH #7: The Continuing Adventures of Matt Williams

Logline: Matt Williams returns to his home town to resurrect his high school baseball team...and reconnect with the love of his life.

PITCH #8: Luis and the Fox

Logline: Slice of life comedy featuring the trials and travails of one of the better fielding middle infielders in history.

Sample Episode: Luis Aparicio and Nellie Fox fight ninjas. This happens forever.

Conclusion

Well, there you go, eight pitches that combine to be almost one-half of a good obit. But since this is a bit short, I'll close it out with the annotated lyrics to what I assume BearDrivingTruck's favorite song is, "Magna of Illusion" by Blue Oyster Cult. Now, to put this in context, this is a song about a man named Imaginos Desdinova, a man with shape-shifting abilities born in early 19th century New England. The Invisible Ones, who covertly manipulate human history, have modified him, including giving him immortality, to be their agent on the Earth and, by the late 19th century, he was moved to Cornwall with his granddaughter.

Cornwall and the harbor
Where witches went mad more than once
And until this day in dreams at least
The lighthouse at Lost Christabel

Squat and hugely tilts upon the strand
Where Granddad's house was built
And having stood the test of time
The starry gale the bloody tide

Granddad's house though gaped with hooks
And filled with books
Could stand no more until a certain prophecy
Once read now stood, before the world fulfilled

Now of these books in Granddad's keep
Some of them were new but mostly they were old
And the oldest was a scroll, a prophecy that read
When the riddle begins the story will end

August, the First 1892 and in the guise of destiny
Granddad quit Cornwall, "I'm a captain of a ship
My ship is charmed and called Plutonia"
Stories on land, storms at sea 'tween 1892 and '93
When Granddad sailed for Mexico

Ships charmed and ordinary
Sailed the glide path to the sun
And when the sun proved false
As it always does
Some of them would be lost
And some would sail back home

It was no star but a magna of illusion
I mean by that, the mirror found
In the chamber of jade
Grown like a seed, deep within the ground

The mirror found by one man
So on and off again
He sailed the Europe's rim
On and off, off and on
Until his time had come

Through tears and smiles, the last domain
The rods of broken crystal
On and off and off again until his time had come
Late to the story that had been
But early to the riddle not yet begun

August, the First 1893
The charmed ship Plutonia
Sailed like a ray into Cornwall
And none too soon it seems

That night the Captain's granddaughter
Would celebrate her birthday
"I've come a long way", said the Captain
"From Lost Christabel this night"

"Accompanied by my dog familiar
To blast your rafters with my surprise
Granddaughter, it's a foreign mirror
Taken from the jungle by crime"

Stories on land, storms at sea
'Tween 1892 and '93
When Granddad sailed for Mexico

When tables collapse
And floors have filled
And the party's over, it's all over
Sea-dogs and rockers will dwell on doom

I've warped the stuff of ground
What seems to be is not
Behind closed eyes
Realize your sight

Mine, granddaughter, proves a surprise
More light than sun
More dark than night
Then more a snare than lust

Smasher Dynamo fucked around with this message at 05:33 on Feb 9, 2013

# ? Feb 9, 2013 05:30

BrooklynBruiser: Aug 20, 2006

oldskool posted:

To go into more depth beyond :
In the outfield:
Bonds & Griffey are going to hit home runs and even steal some bases, in exchange for not taking walks and playing average at best defense. Ichiro isn't going to hit homeruns or take walks, but he'll probably consistently hit .320 and steal 20 bases so lead him off.

Did... Did you just say Barry Bonds isn't going to draw walks? :stare:

# ? Feb 9, 2013 05:38

UltimoDragonQuest: Oct 5, 2011

Bonds will draw walks but not like his insane early 00s numbers.

You're only getting a mere Hall of Fame outfielder and not the guy who was better than Babe Ruth.

# ? Feb 9, 2013 05:42

ForeverBWFC: Oct 19, 2011; Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!

UltimoDragonQuest posted:

better than Babe Ruth.

Shut your filthy whore mouth :colbert:

# ? Feb 9, 2013 12:08

Ginge: Sep 8, 2011; Well, Chippy is already my favourite character!

I realise I do have to fix it eventually, but I'm kind of intrigued to see how far you can take a team that ignores the very concept of defense. Also, with that draft pool, the biggest fix I can make involves a huge reach with the tenth pick, which I'm not entirely sure I want to do.

I definitely need to change my stadium though.

# ? Feb 9, 2013 15:35

The Merry Marauder: Apr 4, 2009; "But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."

quote:

-"You aren't listening, Smasher, I have no patience for any these Game Notes you use to pad out your recaps. The only thing I want to read from you is of my final triumph over the Coburns. Now get to it with no further delay!"

Hahaha! I knew I had a use for John Olerud. Ferris Fain can't truly eat with gusto.

Pessimists' obit was fun. Cheers for skipping the "Screwballs" joke. I still want to see the Deutschbags spinoff, though.

# ? Feb 9, 2013 15:40

Pete Ladd: Mar 9, 2012

I want to bet on the Babe, but I can't get behind the Biospark rotation.

Burma and Seattle to advance

Love the obits, Smasher, thanks again for doing them.

# ? Feb 9, 2013 23:04

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

The question, coming into this round, is how far Burma and Rochester can go. With apologies to blakelmenakle and Pungry, neither the Suicides or Biosparks are real contenders to survive the Gauntlet, but either or both could play the role of spoiler, and break up the Imperialists-Generics tandem. Let's see what you guys thought:

Burma Imperialists
Armitage (JAC)
cbx (DEC)
CVE (MDM)
Gabriel Pope (OMA)
gingemidget (WAL)
GrickleGrass (MAN)
Monathin (CNT)
NotThatSamBeckett (PAR)
Pander (SAD)
ScottyJSno (LOV)
theacox (CER)

Rochester Generics
CVE (MDM)
Monathin (CNT)
mooseontheloose (HRV)
Senerio (NOW)
theacox (CER)

Saturn Biosparks
Armitage (JAC)
cbx (DEC)
gingemidget (WAL)
mooseontheloose (HRV)
Pander (SAD)
ScottyJSno (LOV)
Senerio (NOW)

Seattle Suicides
Gabriel Pope (OMA)
GrickleGrass (MAN)
NotThatSamBeckett (PAR)

The Imperialists are still heavy favorites, but a couple of you chose to pick against them, either trying to be clever or being Senerio and just flipping a coin. It looks like people were split on who else would advance though, as most of you thought that the Generics would wilt in the face of two teams with Babe Ruth. Between the Suicides and Biosparks, people tended to like the Biosparks a bit more, probably because blakelmenakle has won a couple of Super-League championships while Pungry has...not exactly distinguished himself in the Super-League. Then again, he does have Babe Ruth AND Ted Williams...

Results

Same as it ever was...Imperialists and Generics advance yet again!

Not your best round, but good enough. The Imperialists continue their march towards survival.

Yogi Berra has carefully considered it, and he's decided that the Generics simply are not going to be relegated this round, and if he has to single-handedly save the team, then he's going to do it.

I know you're lineup was a bit glitchy here, but if we're being honest, I don't think subbing in Lynn or Fox would have done much good, especially given how well Doby and Avila did.

But, hey, at least this will free up some of your time to help pilot the Bobbleheads back into the Super-League as part of the Purgatory Challenge! Which I'll get to officially announcing relatively soon.

See you in Super-League X, Pungry.

The Pick'em United Can Never Be Defeated
_{Pick TWO!}
Burma Imperialists
Florida Dickshots
Rochester Generics
San Juan Elephants

# ? Feb 9, 2013 23:37

Monathin: Sep 1, 2011; ?????????
?

Smasher Dynamo posted:

The Pick'em United Can Never Be Defeated
_{Pick TWO!}
Burma Imperialists
Florida Dickshots
Rochester Generics
San Juan Elephants

Burma and Rochester to advance. :regd08:

# ? Feb 10, 2013 00:17

Ginge: Sep 8, 2011; Well, Chippy is already my favourite character!

The Pick'em United Can Never Be Defeated
_{Pick TWO!}
Burma Imperialists
Florida Dickshots
Rochester Generics
San Juan Elephants

The Rochester revival will finally wilt under the power of the Space Jam.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 00:30

GrickleGrass: Dec 18, 2011; I speak for the trees.

Pick 'Em
Elephants & the Imperialists

I refuse to be Generic, that's just, like, what all you conformist sheeple are. You laugh because I'm different, but I laugh because you're all the same. Just like my mass-produced t-shirt says that totally defines my individuality. I also drink coffee and smoke cigarettes, like all non-conformists do. But wait... does that mean I conform to non-conformity? poo poo.

I can't rightly root for another Floridian team, as I hope to abandon this hellhole before the start of the SL. And everybody loves Elephants. Elephants never forget. Hopefully this skill translates to the based ball.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 01:11

CVE: Jan 27, 2012

Pick 'em

Burma and the Generics till the end.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 01:13

ToiletofSadness: Mar 27, 2010

Expansion Cup VIII Playoff and Gauntlet Pick Em Scores and Standings Update
Through Gauntlet Round 4 update

pre:

Gricklegrass            27
cbx                     24
Armitage                23
NotThatSamBeckett       22
Monathin                21
Senerio                 21
Pander                  20
CVE                     19
Gabriel Pope            19
theacox                 19
gingemidget             18
Mooseontheloose         14
ScottyJSno               9
Bograt                   3

# ? Feb 10, 2013 01:15

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

Unless there's a good reason to go to a 4 man rotation, and I certainly cannot quibble with the results this round, I think I would prefer a standard 5 man pitching rotation please.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 02:33

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

No longer living in a state of Mark Grace.

Owner: blakelmenakle
Location: Saturn
Home Grounds: Enceladus Dome

Teams Used
1915 Philadelphia Phillies
1930 St. Louis Browns
1950 Chicago White Sox
1953 Cleveland Indians
2004 Milwaukee Brewers

Past Records
Super-League VIII
72-90, 5th Place, Senor Goodtimes Division
Gauntlet VII
Round 4: 15-25, 3rd Place, Relegated

Championships
3x Television Champions

The Last Days of the Biosparks

The doors of the cyro-chamber creaked open as

: Hey, Smasher, listen, I read over your notes for this obit, and the Biosparks being awoken after 2000 years in cryo-sleep to play one game of baseball to save the human race? That's pretty lame, especially since your villains, the "Commissars of Dynamo", a race of aliens who discovered the transmissions of the Super-League and based their culture around it...or something...either way, they're pretty terrible. The whole thing is terrible. Let me sum up the Biosparks for you, okay? Great.

Mark Grace posted:

Why the Biosparks Sucked
by Mark Grace

Catchers

The Biosparks started Rick Ferrell, a Hall of Famer, a catcher. Now, you're probably thinking, 'Whoa! A Hall of Famer! Even though I've never heard of this Rick Ferrell, he's got to be pretty good!' And you'd be wrong, because you're a loving moron.

Rick Ferrell wasn't even the best baseball player in his own family, since his brother Wes was actually a good pitcher, while Rick was pretty mediocre as a catcher. Yeah, he's good at defense, I guess, but he's completely poo poo at hitting, to the extent that his OPS+ for his career was 95, and he hit 28 home runs in 18 seasons. And, this isn't a prime Rick Ferrell, either, this is from 1930, so he's green, too. Ferrell's only real hitting tool, such that it was, is that he could draw some walks but, guess what, Super-League pitchers don't give walks! So, basically, the only thing that Ferrell was going to do was provide decent defense and no offense. That's not a solid foundation for a good team.

The backup was Phil Masi. Who the gently caress was Phil Masi? Well he was a decent catcher in the mid-40s. But this version is from 1950, when Masi was 34 years old, and, this is going to loving shock most of you, 34 year-old catchers tend to have shot knees, making Masi basically useless.

First Basemen

Babe Ruth wasn't a loving first baseman, okay? But blakelmenakle played him there all season because he didn't have a real first baseman, despite the fact that first basemen are about the easiest type of hitters to find. Let's be loving honest, Babe Ruth was something like 90% of the Biosparks' offense. He hit 19 more home runs than anyone else on his team, his OBP was over 60 points higher than anyone else, which kind of brings up an important point. Babe Ruth is loving fantastic, but if he is the only good hitter you have, then you are hosed, going to get relegated, and then have a loving low-effort obit written about your loving team!

Fred Luderus was also a first baseman for the Biosparks. He's a lovely player though. He was a deadballer, so he didn't have much power, but it looked like he did because he played in the Baker Bowl, which had freakishly short dimensions, which really hosed with the power stats of Phillies players in those days. But Mogul isn't fooled by that loving aberration, and so thinks he'd be lucky to hit 10 home runs in a season given normal opposing pitching, not ten doses of Walter Johnson and Christy Mathewson a month. So, what you've really got, is a first baseman who can only hit about five home runs a season in the Super-League, and doesn't really have elite contact or patience skills. And blakel put him at first for the Gauntlet. Holy gently caress, that was never going to work.

Second Basemen

Nellie Fox is a Hall of Famer, but he was only 22 years old, and hit .247/.304/.304 in 1950. Now, he got better than that eventually, but never had any power, which means that, so far, we've discussed three positions, and blakel has put three defense-first guys with limited offensive skills at those positions. In fact, if you add up the likely number of home runs that Ferrell, Luderus and Fox would hit over a full Super-League season, you still wouldn't crack double-digits. That is putting a lot of loving pressure on a team's pitching staff.

Bobby Avila in 1953 was a middle infielder in the middle of three all-star seasons in four years. And, unlike Fox, he could really hit. Avila, in the worst season of his prime, hit .286/.355/.379, which is roughly ten million times better than Fox in 1950. blakel gave him a grand total 19 at-bats in the regular season.

Third Basemen

Al Rosen was the only third baseman that the Biosparks had, and this was the 1953 model, who had an MVP season that year. It probably didn't work out as well as blakelmenakle would have liked, but hard to complain about that choice.

Shortstop

Hanley Ramirez ended up starting most of the games at short after the Biosparks drafted him in the Super-Draft, and he was pretty effective, if you get a chance to draft him, I'd take it.

Dave Bancroft helped dig the grave for the Biosparks by sucking at the beginning of the season. As a deadball player, he had a bad error rate, he couldn't turn a loving double play, and had negative power. Oh, yeah, he could take a walk, but that just meant that he would get on base, and with a 15/27 SB/CS rate in the real 1915, that wasn't any real loving help for his team. Since not many pitchers in the Super-League were going to walk Dave Bancroft, that made him basically useless.

Red Kress was a stunningly mediocre shortstop, who was basically done after he turned 27. In general, that's pretty crappy, especially since Mogul doesn't like players like that. He's probably a decent backup, though, which is what blakelmenakle used him as anyway.

Left Fielders

Goose Goslin was the 2nd-best hitter on the Biosparks. He hit .280/.328/.400. That's not good, but it was still definitely the 2nd-best batting line anyone on the team came up with. If Goose is the 4th best hitter on your Super-League team, then you're fine. But he's not a guy who is going to power your offense.

Heinie Manush is almost exactly the same type of hitter as Goose Goslin, which is kind of a problem, since they both play the same position, and Babe Ruth should probably be the DH. Either way, you need something more from your corner outfielders than just guys with good contact, but mediocre power and patience skills. And, more the point, Goose made him completely superfluous.

Geoff Jenkins. I'm guessing that most of you didn't watch many NL Central games in the first part of the 2000s, but, holy gently caress, Geoff Jenkins isn't going to lead you anywhere good. The Brewers trusted Geoff Jenkins, and they lost about 90 games every year because all Geoff Jenkins could do was hit for power. He never walked, wasn't much in the outfield, and yet, amazingly, got a loving world series ring with the Phillies. There's not loving justice in the universe.

Center Fielders

Larry Doby is hated by Mogul. I don't know why Mogul hates him so much, but, at a certain point, you've just got to accept that it does, and make that part of your planning.

Fred Lynn paid me $20 to tell you all what an awesome player he was. And I need that money. So he was an awesome player.

Right Fielders

Gavvy Cravath was the greatest slugger of his day. Which is great. Except his day was the heart of the deadball era, and he played in the Baker Bowl, which was like the Coors Field of its day. And Cravath was 34 years old in 1915. And Mogul thinks he's a completely terrible fielder. So, he's a slugger who can't really slug, doesn't have great contact skills, can't really field, and is only good, not great, at taking walks. That doesn't sound like a recipe for success to me.

Al Smith was a rookie for the '53 Indians, although that was probably partly due to the lingering effects of segregation. He's a solidly above-average hitter at a position and in a league that cries out for something better. He can't really be a fourth outfielder, since he'd be a loving disaster in center field, and he can't really hit enough to play a corner, especially when the Biosparks already had Manush and Cravath waiting in the wings. What the gently caress was the point of Al Smith? I'm guessing blakelmenakle didn't know either because Smith never played a game for the Biosparks, staying in the minors all season.

Corey Hart was...Corey Hart? Corey loving Hart was on the team? What did blakelmenakle see in Corey loving Hart? He's great if you want to put a guy out there who will strike out 200 times in the Super-League, I guess, but I'm not sure that's particularly loving helpful, and this is the 22 year-old model, too, who had a whopping one at-bat in the Major Leagues, making him even more erratic than he otherwise would be. That's loving great, really loving helpful.

Starting Pitchers

Pete Alexander is boss. That's all you need to know about Pete Alexander. If someone asks to trade for your Pete Alexander, just say to yourself, "Pete Alexander is boss, and those who would take him from me are not boss. And the not boss must be purged from this land before a new golden age shall dawn."

Greg Maddux needs a decent defense behind him, because he isn't a deadballer, but isn't much of a power pitcher, either. But he's usually pretty good-to-great, because he's Greg Maddux, and that still means something, even in the Super-League.

Eppa Rixey was a guy who got in the Hall of Fame because he pitched forever, and was considered a gentleman. That gentlemanly streak apparently extended to never striking anyone out because that would have been loving rude or something! Also, as a guy who started in the deadball era, but whose career bled into the liveball era, he doesn't have the same sort of super-groundball ability as other deadball pitchers. It's not that Rixey is always useless, he just needs to be used very carefully. Shockingly, the Biosparks did not do that.

Billy Pierce was a power pitcher in an era when power pitches didn't even reach 200 strikeouts in a season. And in 1950, he walked more batters than he struck out. In the context of the time, that really wasn't so bad, as lots of power pitchers, if not most, did that. But Mogul isn't particularly sensitive to the plight of pitchers from that era, meaning that Pierce is never going to strike out as many pitchers as it seems like he should, as in he only had 49 in 99 innings for the Biosparks, which is poo poo awful.

Ben Sheets? Ben loving Sheets? gently caress that!

Alvin Crowder was known as "General" because he fought in Siberia during and after World War I. He's exactly as effective at pitching in the Super-League as he was in preventing the Reds from winning the Russian Civil War, and managed to rack up a herculean 17 strikeouts in 46 innings.

The early '50 Indians Special

No matter how many times people spend a bunch of points on the early '50s Indians for their pitchers, and then immediately implode, there's also someone out there who just doesn't loving learn, and figures that he's the one that's going to make the Feller-Wynn-Lemon combo work for him. But let's look at why that isn't going to loving work"

Bob Lemon, based on how he's done in Mogul, probably killed the lead programmers' children as part of a Satanic ritual and still uses his dark powers to give the programmer terrible nightmares of the deaths of said children, laughing all the while. That is the only logical explanation for how much he sucks in the Super-League.

Early Wynn actually did pitch well, but there was no loving way in hell he was going to keep that up, since he doesn't really have, and didn't have the deadballer groundball pitch bonus, and twice led the American League in walks over the course of his career. And he's usually not been very good in the Super-League.

Bob Feller is broke down by 1953. His power is gone, and power was 90% of his game, making him pretty useless in the Super-League expect as a fringe starter.

Yeah, that's really worth four loving points.

Relievers

Goose Gossage was actually good. No problem there.

Neftali Feliz is young and doesn't have any real experience and Mogul hates him for it.

Mike Adams was actually solid. Good for the Biosparks.

Danny Kolb had two good seasons in his entire career. Holy gently caress, how is that supposed to work?

Luis Vizcaino had a career 103 ERA+ as a reliever, which is almost unfathomably bad, because relievers almost always have better ERA+ than starters because their jobs are easier. So, that's pretty loving impressive, even if that means that there was no chance he would be decent in the Super-League.

Summary

So, the Biosparks had one good hitter, a couple of outfielders who were usable, and then lots and lots of guys who simply sucked at hitting. That's not building your offense around Babe Ruth, that's making Babe Ruth your entire offense, and that simply isn't going to work. gently caress, if the Suicides couldn't be good with Babe Ruth and Ted Williams, that should tell you everything you need to know about that sort of strategy.

The pitching is even worse, because you have three good pitchers (Alexander, Maddux, Gossage), and then tons of pitchers who have either been bad a whole bunch of times in the Super-League before (Old Feller, Wynn, Lemon, Crowder, Rixey) and a bunch of pitchers who were never going to be good for various reasons (Sheets, Viazcaino, Kolb, Feliz). How was that ever supposed to work?

: So there you good, that's why the Biosparks sucked so much. Fortunately for blakelmenakle, though, it wasn't the end of his story...

# ? Feb 10, 2013 03:19

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

The Pick'em United Can Never Be Defeated
_{Pick TWO!}

Burma Imperialists

San Juan Elephants

I just have more confidence in tatankatonk's team than the Generics, even though kw0134's team has won the last 2 rounds just to spite me.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 03:22

theacox: Jun 8, 2010; You can't be serious.

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Teams Used
2004 Milwaukee Brewers

You deserve to be relegated for this alone. Those early 00's Brewers teams were a loving disaster.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 03:26

ScottyJSno: Aug 16, 2010; 日本が大好きです！

Pick em
Florida Dickshots
Burma

# ? Feb 10, 2013 03:28

theacox: Jun 8, 2010; You can't be serious.

ScottyJSno posted:

Pick em
Florida Dickshots
Burma

Also THIS.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 03:29

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Anybody who bets against Chick Hafey deserves what they get.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 04:02

Armitage: Aug 16, 2005; "Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

The Pick'em United Can Never Be Defeated
_{Pick TWO!}
Burma Imperialists
San Juan Elephants

More of the same from Jacksonville!

# ? Feb 10, 2013 04:07

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

ForeverBWFC posted:

Shut your filthy whore mouth

If you think about it for a couple of minutes, it's obvious that Barry bonds was better than Ruth, and so much better that it's not close. If she went back to when Ruth was throwing his first professional pitchers, the current high school girls world record holder could have won the men's 100m freestyle at the Olympics.

Cthulhu Dreams fucked around with this message at 05:10 on Feb 10, 2013

# ? Feb 10, 2013 04:40

Senerio: Oct 19, 2009; Roëmænce is ælive!

Smasher Dynamo posted:

The Pick'em United Can Never Be Defeated
_{Pick TWO!}
Burma Imperialists
Rochester Generics

May as well

# ? Feb 10, 2013 05:02

The Merry Marauder: Apr 4, 2009; "But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."

Cthulhu Dreams posted:

If you think about it for a couple of minutes, it's obvious that Barry bonds was better than Ruth, and so much better that it's not close. If she went back to when Ruth was throwing his first professional pitchers, the current high school girls world record holder could have won the men's 100m freestyle at the Olympics.

Did someone mention the early Olympics?

Wiki on the 1904 Games posted:

Marathon

The marathon was the most bizarre event of the Games. It was run in brutally hot weather, over dusty roads, with horses and automobiles clearing the way and creating dust clouds. The first to arrive at the finish line was Frederick Lorz, who actually rode the rest of the way in a car to retrieve his clothes, after dropping out after nine miles. The car broke down at the 19th mile, so he re-entered the race and jogged back to the finish line. When the officials thought he had won the race, Lorz played along with his practical joke until he was found out shortly after the medal ceremony and was banned for a year by the AAU for this stunt, later winning the 1905 Boston Marathon.

Thomas Hicks (a Briton running for the United States) was the first to cross the finish-line legally, after having received several doses of strychnine sulfate (a common rat poison, which stimulates the nervous system in small doses) mixed with brandy from his trainers. He was supported by his trainers when he crossed the finish, but is still considered the winner. Hicks had to be carried off the track, and possibly would have died in the stadium, had he not been treated by several doctors.

A Cuban postman named Felix Carbajal joined the marathon, arriving at the last minute. He had to run in street clothes that he cut around the legs to make them look like shorts. He stopped off in an orchard en route to have a snack on some apples, which turned out to be rotten. The rotten apples caused him to have to lie down and take a nap. Despite falling ill from the apples he finished in fourth place.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 05:28

Grinnblade: Sep 24, 2007

Expansion Cup VIII Playoffs: McQueen League Championship Series -- Idaho Potatoes vs Detroit Cougars

Owner: cbx
Hometown: Detroit, MI
Teams Used: 1915 New York _baseball Giants, 1938 Detroit Tigers, 1965 San Francisco Giants
Regular Season Record: 102-60

cbx has been around the block a few times, and the Cougars are a testament to this fact (as well as his understandable diehard fanaticism for the Detroit Tigers). Their starting pitching is one of the strongest staffs in the Cup, with staff ace Christy Mathewson pitching the only perfect game in the regular season, and his #2 and #3 starters are no slouches either.

And their offense? Well, they finished second in runs scored in the Cup with 901 (the Rakers scored 907). This was accomplished by having 3 players hit over 25 HR each, and the lowest batting average in their lineup belongs to catcher Rudy York, with a .239.

The Cougars arrived here after an all-season knock-down, drag-out brawl with Senerio's Nowhere Men in Gauze for the McQueen League Barreta Division crown, a brawl that only ended when the Nowhere Men mysteriously faded away in September.

Now, with a solid team backed by a guy who knows what he's doing, the Cougars may be poised to head to the Expansion Cup Championship Series, and perhaps even make some noise come Super-League IX.

Tiger Stadium, Detroit, Michigan

Tiger Stadium will host Games 1, 2, 6, and 7.

Owner: Grinnblade
Hometown: Moscow, ID
Teams Used: 1926 St. Louis Cardinals, 1955 Detroit Tigers, 1976 Houston Astros, 2003 Colorado Rockies
Regular Season Record: 87-75

Call it homefield advantage, call it corruption, or just do what I do and call it plain dumb luck, but whatever you call it, it resulted in my hastily-concocted Idaho Potatoes just barely fending off GrickleGrass's Miami Manatees to earn their first real accolade in three iterations of the team: The McQueen League Larkin Division crown.

As is probably clearly apparent, when I was writing the divisional clinching game recaps and the September summary I didn't give my team much of a shot at winning this series. I figured my luck had to run out sometime soon, and what better time to do so than going up against the best record in the entire Cup?

Well, then I looked at the numbers, and the numbers paint an interesting picture. The regular season series went to the Potatoes, 11-7 - the best winning percentage against the Cougars in non-interleague play. (Oddly enough, the Cougars went 1-2 against 3 of 6 of their interleague opponents.) In those 18 games, the Potatoes outscored the Cougars 98-81.

Yeah, the Cougars are good. But could my rag-tag bunch of misfits possibly have the Cougars' number?

Let's find out.

Kibbie Dome, Moscow, Idaho

The Kibbie Dome will host Games 3, 4, and 5. (And yes, the ACTUAL Kibbie Dome is too small to play baseball in. The dimensions are that of the Kingdome.)

Game 1

Detroit Free Press posted:

ONE-SIDED BULLPEN BATTLE GIVES GAME 1 OF MLCS TO IDAHO, 10-4

Detroit, MI -- Well, that could have gone better.

For the first seven innings of baseball in Game 1 of the McQueen League Championship Series, both the Idaho Potatoes and the Detroit Cougars gave as good as they got, with Idaho scoring one in the first, one in the third, and two in the sixth off Cougars starter Gaylord Perry, who took the start for Christy Mathewson when Mathewson felt some stiffness warming up. The hometown Cougars would respond with two runs in the third and two in the sixth off of Idaho starter J.R. Richard, who would be pulled after 5.1 innings and a staggering 120 pitches. Perry would shut the Potatoes down in the seventh inning, and Idaho's combination of Hi Bell (who had taken over for Richard in the sixth) and Ken Forsch would do the same in the bottom half of the frame.

With the score tied 4-4 going into the eighth, cbx made a perfectly reasonable decision to put in setup man Frank Linzy to keep the game close for closer Bill Henry, and hope that the Cougars' high-powered offense would have a breakthrough late-game rally to bury the Potatoes.

However, it was not to be as the Potatoes would explode for 5 runs in the eighth off a series of hits, capped off with a Bob O'Farrell 2-run double. O'Farrell went 2-for-3 with a walk and another double on the evening. Ken Forsch would continue his lights-out pitching by retiring the side with only 9 pitches thrown, leaving cbx with a decision: Leave Linzy in the game because the save is blown, or give Henry an opportunity to work.

He chose Henry, but the damage was done, and to top matters off the Potatoes would score one last run on a sacrifice fly to make the score 10-4. Forsch would then make quick work of the Cougars again to pick up the W.

After the game, Grinnblade was ecstatic. "Wait, what? We loving won?! By 6 runs?! You're... I'm not actually sure how the hell that happened, how the hell all of this is happening, but man, I'll take it!"

cbx was understandably stunned. "No. No no no no no. We did not just lose, at home, to the loving Potatoes, by SIX RUNS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! They'd be in the cellar in almost literally any other division! They wouldn't even be a FOOTNOTE if it weren't for how badly the divisions were balanced! Goddammit, I wish I were still with the Splinter Cells so I could 'creatively encourage' my setup man to not be a drat idiot!" cbx took a few deep breaths, then listened to a reporter's inquiry on Christy Mathewson's status. "Look, I don't know what the issue was, but he's been checked out, and he's fine. At this point I think we're just gonna treat it like Perry was our no. 1 and go with the rotation from there. We've got this under control. We'll still be going to the Cup Championship Series, and Grinnblade's 'dumb luck' isn't going to be able to stop it!"

Game 2

Detroit Free Press posted:

COUGARS SURVIVE EIGHTH-INNING SCARE, TIE SERIES UP AT 1-1 WITH 3-2 GAME 2 WIN

Detroit, MI -- Now that's more like it.

The Cougars took Game 2 of the MLCS today on a strong pitching performance by Rube Marquard and judicious application of smallball strategies. The Cougars would score their three runs in three separate innings, with Jim Ray Hart taking advantage of Potatoes starter Larry Dierker's penchant to walk the middle of the Cougars lineup to drive in two of the three on a solid 2-for-3 day at the plate.

Speaking of Idaho starter Larry Dierker, he had a pretty terrible outing, going 7 innings but giving up 7 hits and 6 walks while striking out only 3 batters.

Entering the top of the eighth, it really appeared that Rube Marquard was going to give the Cougars bullpen the night off. He had firm control, and while he'd given up 5 hits, he had yet to give up a run. Then it all fell apart. Marquard would get Cesar Cedeno to fly out, but would then give up a single to Harvey Kuenn and a double to Rogers Hornsby, bringing the tying run to the plate for the Potatoes in the form of one of the Potatoes' strongest offensive assets, Jim Bottomley. cbx, visibly infuriated, sent closer Bill Henry to the mound for the 5-out save, which Henry would start to enact by intentionally loading the bases.

His strategy was rewarded by a Larry Walker single that just barely got past Jim Ray Hart and into the corner for two RBIs, bringing the Potatoes dangerously close to tying the game and potentially doing even more damage if Todd Helton or Ray Blades could get an extra base hit.

Both Helton and Blades would pop up on the first pitch in each of their at-bats, and the crisis would be averted, to the visible relief of Bill Henry and cbx. The Potatoes would shut down the Cougars in the eighth, but would be shut down in turn by Henry in the ninth, and the Cougars would tie the McQueen League Championship Series at one game a piece as the series headed to Moscow, Idaho for the middle portion of the series.

After the game, cbx could barely contain his glee as he addressed the hometown crowd. "Just you wait. I can feel it... the Potatoes can't stop us. We're gonna go up to Moscow, we're going to blast them out of that little tin can they call a stadium, and then we'll be right back here to welcome whichever team comes out of the Taggart League! WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS!" Despite his public assurances of easy victory however, privately cbx was overheard giving a stern talk to the entire team, saying that nobody was to walk around Moscow alone in case "Grinnblade and his goons try anything".

Game 3

Moscow Daily News posted:

REVENGE! IDAHO WINS GAME 3 IN WALK-OFF FASHION, 4-3

Moscow, ID -- The McQueen League Championship Series is shaping up to be a battle of pitching, as once again, runs were at a premium until very late in the game today at the Kibbie Dome.

It all started in the top of the ninth inning. The Idaho Potatoes were clinging to a 2-1 lead, given to them in the bottom of the fourth when Cougars starter Juan Marichal threw his only real mistake of the day, resulting in a Larry Walker solo shot over the centerfield fence -- a home run eerily similar to the one given up to Cougars third baseman Jim Ray Hart by Idaho starter Jim Bunning in the top of the third. The symmetry done with, the two pitchers settled in and threw shut-out baseball until the top of the ninth, with Rube Benton taking over for Marichal with two outs in the bottom of the eighth.

With the score as it was, and Jim Bunning having thrown 95 pitches, some wondered if the Potatoes would call for bullpen relief. However, Grinnblade seemed to be confident in Bunning's work, as not a soul had started to warmup in the Potatoes bullpen while the Potatoes batted in the bottom of the eighth. Bunning came out to the mound to start the ninth, and immediately gave up a single to Jim Ray Hart. Charlie Gehringer would advance Hart to second with a sacrifice bunt. Pete Fox would then ground out to short after fouling a few pitches off. With first base open, the Potatoes decided to put Hank Greenberg on base and face Willie Mays, a decision that would then come right back to bite them, as Mays would hit a scorching groundball down the third base line. Idaho 3B Ray Boone would field the ball, then, instead of stepping on third for the force, attempt to throw Mays out at first. The ball would sail over Todd Helton's head, but luckily catcher Frank House was right there to pick it up to leave the bases loaded instead of allowing the tying run to score.

Then came one of the more interesting decisions of the series so far. Idaho closer Brian Fuentes got up as soon as the ball had left Mays's bat and begun to warm-up. Grinnblade had come out to the mound, and seemed to be stalling for time to allow Fuentes time to get loose. The conversation with Bunning was calm and collected, and just when everybody in the Kibbie Dome thought Grinnblade was going to call for Fuentes to come bail out Bunning, Grinnblade patted Bunning on the shoulder, slammed the ball back into his glove, and walked away, to the surprise of all involved. cbx could be seen gesturing to the mound and the Potatoes' bench while yelling at Willie McCovey. Some fans sitting above the Cougars' dugout claim to have heard cbx say "make him pay for it!"

And pay for it the Potatoes did, as McCovey would slap the first pitch right back up the middle to give the Cougars two runs and the lead, 3-2. The wind was sucked right out of the hometown crowd's sails, and Brian Fuentes's look of disgust was only matched in intensity by Grinnblade's look of disappointment. Still, Grinnblade did not move from his spot on the bench, and Bunning seemed to take encouragement from this, forcing Orlando Cepeda to pop out on his first pitch.

Now came decision time for cbx. His team suddenly found itself in a close lead, with a closer ready and raring to go. However, cbx's current pitcher, Rube Benton, had also only thrown one pitch. So cbx's decision to let Benton go for the W seemed a bit less questionable than Grinnblade's trust in Bunning. Benton was due to face Larry Walker, Todd Helton, and Ray Blades. Not an easy task, to be sure, but Benton was fresh and the momentum was definitely with the Cougars.

Then Larry Walker took the second pitch he saw and ripped it into the left-field gap for a double. The hometown crowd, seeing the tying run in scoring position only two pitches into the inning, began to come alive once again. The Cougars bullpen began to stir as cbx stood up a little straighter on the top step of the dugout, and it was clear that the Potatoes had his attention now. A ball and a strike were thrown to Helton before he got hold of a curveball and sent it bouncing into the left-field corner, where it rolled around enough to allow Larry Walker to score from second, tying the game.

cbx chose to stay put, putting his faith in Benton as Grinnblade had in Bunning, and so he watched as Ray Blades laid down a sacrifice bunt to advance Helton, the potential winning run, into scoring position. Ray Boone came to the plate, with the chance to redeem himself for his costly throwing error by giving the Potatoes a win with an extra-base hit. A fastball, low and outside for ball one. Change-up, fouled off. Another change, catching the corner for strike two. High fastball for ball two.

2 balls, 2 strikes, and the Moscow crowd collectively held its breath as the pitch was unleashed, the bat left Ray Boone's shoulders, and bat met ball. Rube Benton could only dive out of the way to avoid getting hit, and second baseman Charlie Gehringer took a shot at catching it and missed. The ball rolled to a stop in front of a charging Willie Mays, who picked up the ball and fired it towards home as Helton rounded third. Ball and runner arrived almost simultaneously, but Rudy York just couldn't get the tag down in time, and even before the home plate umpire called "SAFE!" the roof had metaphorically blown off the Kibbie Dome.

After the game, both managers declined to comment on their individual decisions to leave their pitchers in.

Game 4 will take place tomorrow at 4:05 PM.

Game 4

Moscow Daily News posted:

IDAHO ON VERGE OF UPSET WITH 1-0 GAME 4 VICTORY

Moscow, ID -- There's a certain feeling in the air after Game 4 of the McQueen League Championship Series.

A feeling that this could finally be the team that goes somewhere. A feeling that this could finally be the thing that puts this area on the map. And that feeling has intensified after another pitching duel ended in the Potatoes' favor, making the series score Idaho 3, Detroit 1 heading into what could potentially be a deciding Game 5 tomorrow night.

In what has become the norm for this series, both the Cougars' Christy Mathewson and the Potatoes' Frank Lary pitched deep and pitched well as neither offense could get on base, much less bring in runs -- the teams combined for only eight hits in the entire game.

The only run in the game came in the bottom of the seventh, when a Ray Blades sacrifice fly brought home Jim Bottomley, who had singled to lead off the inning and then advanced to third on a Larry Walker single.

Brian Fuentes would pick up the save some felt he should have gotten yesterday, and Christy Mathewson was charged with the loss.

After the game, cbx commented through clinched teeth that he had "seen about enough of his team failing", and promised dire punishment if the Series did not return to Detroit.

Grinnblade, on the other hand, was jovial, claiming that this was the loudest he'd ever seen the Kibbie Dome, or the area in general, and that as long as this sort of thing continued, he had nothing to complain about, and not even dealing with the 342 official complaints of corruption from Monathin alone would dampen his spirits.

Game 5

Moscow Daily News posted:

GAYLORD PERRY PUTS COUGARS ON BACK, SENDS MLCS BACK TO DETROIT WITH COMPLETE GAME GEM

Moscow, ID -- That feeling from yesterday? May have just been indigestion.

The Detroit Cougars, facing the very real prospect of a first-round near-sweep after dominating the Expansion Cup VIII regular season, stood behind a complete game gem from Gaylord Perry to send the McQueen League Championship Series back to Detroit for Game 6 in a 5-2 victory today.

With the exception of the sixth inning, where the Potatoes managed to string together a few hits and lucky bounces to score their only two runs, Gaylord Perry did not face more than 4 Potatoes batters in any single inning. He gave up only 4 hits and 1 walk while striking out 4, on only 106 pitches in two hours and eleven minutes of play.

And honestly, Idaho starter J.R. Richard didn't have that bad an outing either. It's just that he gave up a double, a triple, and a homerun in 5 hits allowed to the Cougars instead of the 1 double on 4 hits given up by Perry.

cbx was happy with the results: "Finally, we put bat to ball and managed to keep Grinnblade and his team from pulling a victory out of their asses. Now that we're heading back home, where WE'RE in control, we can put these guys back in their drat place."

Grinnblade was understandably morose: "Well, it was a good run, but let's face it. They dominated the regular season. We've just been coasting on some of the luckiest decisions in Super-League history, along with benefiting from a half-baked divisional alignment. It sucks, but you know what, I'm okay with it. We'll get some solid help from the Dispersal Draft, and I like our team's chances in Super-League IX."

Game Notes:

: Oh no you don't, Grinnblade. Get your own drat filler.

Game 6

Detroit Free Press posted:

RUBE MARQUARD SURVIVES NINTH-INNING RALLY TO PITCH COMPLETE GAME AND FORCE GAME 7

Detroit, MI -- Stop me if you've heard this one before: Rube Marquard took a shutout performance on the mound deep into the later innings. The Idaho Potatoes mounted a comeback attempt, but were stopped just shy of tying and the Cougars won the game. Yes, Game 6 was a lot like Game 2, but this time Rube Marquard would take a page out of Gaylord Perry's book and close the door himself to send the McQueen League Championship Series to a decisive Game 7 tomorrow night at Tiger Stadium.

The game was, unsurprisingly for this series, a pitching duel until the Cougars broke the game open in the bottom of the fifth inning with 3 hits that would bring across 3 runs, 2 of them coming when Hank Greenberg sent a fastball sailing into the seats in centerfield. The Cougars would add two more runs in the bottom of the eighth inning to make the score 5-0 Cougars as the game entered the top of the ninth.

Rube Marquard entered the top of the ninth having already thrown 113 pitches. However, given the Potatoes sputtering offense, which had only managed two hits the entire game to that point, cbx saw no reason to warm up any pitching in the bullpen. Idaho's Harvey Kuenn would start the inning by reaching first on an infield single. After watching the first pitch go outside for a ball, Rogers Hornsby would send a screwball that hung a little too long over the left field fence for a two-run home run. cbx would stand up at this point, but no movement was made in the Cougars bullpen.

Perhaps knowing that his manager was currently glaring a hole into his skull, Marquard would quickly retire Jim Bottomley and Larry Walker on grounders to put the Potatoes one out away from defeat. Todd Helton would then single to centerfield, and take second base when Willie Mays took a bit longer than necessary to get the ball back into the infield. cbx could be seen screaming at Mays, but nevertheless play continued with the Potatoes still needing three runs to even tie the ballgame, much less try to salvage a series-clinching win.

Ray Blades was the next batter, and after seeing another first pitch miss the zone, he'd send the next one he saw roaring into the right-field gap, and the ball would take a few strange bounces that allowed Blades to earn a triple while scoring Todd Helton.

At this point, Bill Henry took to the bullpen warmup mound while the Cougars pitching coach would walk out to the mound. Meanwhile, the Detroit faithful booed what seemed to be yet another late-inning meltdown in progress. Their boos would turn to cheers when the pitching coach would slap Marquard and then point a stern finger in his face while delivering a very forceful message. When asked after the game what the message was, Marquard laughed nervously and said, "Get this (bleep) out or I'll rip off your (bleep) and shove it up your (bleep). And then it'll be cbx's turn."

The invective worked, as Ray Boone would tap a weak grounder to first for the 27th and final out of the ballgame, knotting the series up at three games a piece heading into tomorrow night's decisive Game 7.

Game 7

Detroit Free Press posted:

POTATOES WIN MCQUEEN LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES IN 11-INNING INSTANT CLASSIC

Detroit, MI -- It couldn't have ended any other way.

Both Idaho's Jim Bunning and Detroit's Juan Marichal pitched well into the night. Bunning went 7 innings, giving up 4 runs on 7 hits and 5 walks while striking out 5. Marichal went 6.2 innings, giving up 3 runs on 8 hits and 1 walk while striking out 3.

The score was tied at 4-4 heading into the final inning.

And a late-inning explosion of runs gave a team the victory, while the other team's final rally fell just short.

The only real differences were that the Cougars were the ones whose rally fell short, and that the final inning of the game was the eleventh, not the ninth. Regardless, Game 7 provided all the things we came to expect from the McQueen League Championship Series.

Entering the top of the eleventh, the Cougars had gotten two innings of shut-out ball from Warren Spahn after closer Bill Henry had blown the two-inning save by giving up a solo home run to Todd Helton in the eighth inning. Spahn showed no signs of slowing down, getting Ray Boone to pop-up on the first pitch of the inning for the first out. That would be the last thing to really go right for Spahn for the rest of the night.

Bob O'Farrell would send a double just past the outstretched glove of Jim Davenport, who had taken over after defensively substituting for Jim Ray Hart in the top of the eighth inning. Then Cesar Cedeno would hit the first pitch he saw to right field for a single that brought O'Farrell home to give the Potatoes the lead. With Cedeno's speed, Grinnblade sought to put him in position to score some insurance, and put on the hit-and-run, which would result in Cedeno advancing to third base on a softly-hit single to left field from Harvey Kuenn. Rogers Hornsby would battle to a 2-2 count, then crush a slider that didn't get low enough over the center field fence to bring the score to 8-4 Potatoes.

Activity started in the Cougars bullpen, but with there being only one out, no trip to the mound was taken. Spahn would give up a double to Jim Bottomley, then get Larry Walker to fly out and Todd Helton to ground out to stop the bleeding.

Idaho reliever Ken Forsch had already pitched three full innings, and his usual role was short relief. Given the multiple occasions in this series alone that leaving in pitchers too long had dramatically altered a game's outcome, one would have expected Grinnblade to hand the ball over to Brian Fuentes to close out the game and the series, even if it wasn't a save situation. But once again, Grinnblade placed his faith in a pitcher who was running out of gas.

Grinnblade would watch as Forsch forced Pete Fox to ground out on the second pitch of the at-bat for the first out. A slight, almost disbelieving smile began to creep across the Expansion Cup Commissar's face, only to disappear when Forsch then threw two straight balls in the dirt before Hank Greenberg tore into a hanging slider that would bounce off the wall in right for a triple. Brian Fuentes would then be seen getting up and placing a call to the Potatoes dugout before beginning to warm up with an edge of frustration on every throw.

While Grinnblade returned to his spot on the top step of the dugout, Forsch would get Willie Mays to chase a first pitch slider and ground out to third baseman Ray Boone, putting the Potatoes within one out of the Expansion League Championship Series. Brian Fuentes finished warming up, and stood ready at the bullpen gate, waiting to see if Grinnblade would give the call for him to get out Orlando Cepeda.

The call didn't come, and Cepeda would battle Forsch to a full count before a slider just missed the low outside corner. Finally, Grinnblade had seen enough, and called for Fuentes to come in and finish the job. However, the Cougars weren't quite ready to give up, as Harvey Kuenn would load the bases by hitting a single right back up the middle.

Grinnblade made the call for any pitcher to start warming up, just in case, as Rudy York stepped up to bat and battled to a full count. Grinnblade's vague orders meant that nobody had quite gotten loose by the time York lined a fastball that bounced right in front of Potatoes centerfielder Cesar Cedeno to bring two runs across the plate and put the game-tying run only ninety feet away.

Fuentes glared at the dugout, as if to say "are you going to come get me?", but found that Grinnblade had left the field completely. The pitching coach shrugged, and gestured that he wasn't going to come out, so Fuentes returned to the mound to face down Jim Davenport -- and forced a groundout to third to end the game on one last pitch.

Neither manager was available for post game comments, cbx having screamed himself hoarse in anger and disbelief, and Grinnblade having passed out from shock shortly after the final out was recorded. Medical staff on hand said that Grinnblade had left the field because he felt sick from watching the game potentially slip away from him.

The Idaho Potatoes will host the Taggart League Champions at the Kibbie Dome for Game 1 on the 13th. The Tijuana Mules and the CERN Colliders will square off in Game 7 of their series later today.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 09:17

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

... Right. The way my luck goes, that's exactly what was going to happen. Make it to the playoffs, don't even get a drat prize player and get last pick in the loving draft.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 09:24

Grinnblade: Sep 24, 2007

Holy mother of God I did not realize how many :words:

I wrote about fantasy fantasy baseball until I scrolled through that post. Sorry guys, I'll try to be a little less verbose in the TLCS/ECCS. I mean, :drat:

cbx posted:

... Right. The way my luck goes, that's exactly what was going to happen. Make it to the playoffs, don't even get a drat prize player and get last pick in the loving draft.

_{please don't kill me}

Depending on how the ECCS goes I'd be interested in trading picks.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 09:32

UltimoDragonQuest: Oct 5, 2011

cbx posted:

... Right. The way my luck goes, that's exactly what was going to happen. Make it to the playoffs, don't even get a drat prize player and get last pick in the loving draft.

You'll show them all in Super-League. :argh:

# ? Feb 10, 2013 09:34

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Holy gently caress were those some long writeups.

Anyway, I had thought of a prize to give to the winner of the Expansion Cup but I'm loathe to explain exactly what it is, to avoid any potential impropriety on Grinnblade's part.

Well, any impropriety other than his team managing to pull off a miracle upset against a vastly superior team after making the playoffs thanks to a super-fortunate divisional alignment. Then again, I did give the Potatoes a banner of President Lukashenko for a reason.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 09:36

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

Grinnblade posted:

Holy mother of God I did not realize how many I wrote about fantasy fantasy baseball until I scrolled through that post. Sorry guys, I'll try to be a little less verbose in the TLCS/ECCS. I mean, .

_{please don't kill me}

Depending on how the ECCS goes I'd be interested in trading picks.

No, I'm not pissed off at you... just been a really rough night.

That having been said, I don't believe that the EC Commissioner should be eligible for a prize for his own team winning the EC championship. That would be like if Bud Selig still owned the Brewers and they won the World Series and he got Ted Williams as a prize.

Not that I'm arguing that my team should get the prize. We don't deserve the drat thing.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 09:44

Grinnblade: Sep 24, 2007

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Anyway, I had thought of a prize to give to the winner of the Expansion Cup but I'm loathe to explain exactly what it is, to avoid any potential impropriety on Grinnblade's part.

Well, any impropriety other than his team managing to pull off a miracle upset against a vastly superior team after making the playoffs thanks to a super-fortunate divisional alignment. Then again, I did give the Potatoes a banner of President Lukashenko for a reason.

Right then. I haven't exactly had the best of weeks either, so some of this may come off a bit chippy. Now that the "rigging" talk has gone from joke I ran into the ground with Monathin to backhanded public accusation from the guy I'm only trying to help, I'm gonna clear the air.

First off, as I said repeatedly in that wall of :words:

that was the MLCS writeup, as well as in some of my self-analyses over the course of the Cup, I have no loving clue how I've managed to get this far. I'm just doing the sim and boggling at the results (when I saw Potatoes 4-3 in the playoffs window I just about died).

Well, I suppose I do have some inkling why -- I've known since about the All-Star Break of the EC that I hosed up big-time when I decided to go with the divisional alignments I did. Given a chance to do things again I'd probably switch myself and one of Jacksonville/Walney/Harvard at the very least, along with separating Omaha and CERN in the Taggart League. In fact I'm even starting to second guess my decision to have playoffs in the first place even though it was put to a vote.

cbx posted:

That having been said, I don't believe that the EC Commissioner should be eligible for a prize for his own team winning the EC championship. That would be like if Bud Selig still owned the Brewers and they won the World Series and he got Ted Williams as a prize.

Not that I'm arguing that my team should get the prize. We don't deserve the drat thing.

This... is a very good point, and frankly I'm embarrassed that I didn't just declare myself ineligible for any tangible reward from the very beginning. Effective immediately, I am declaring myself ineligible to receive any tangible prize outside of the title of McQueen League/Expansion Cup VIII Champion - and the ability to take my team to Super-League IX.

I am also willing to:

- Move to the back of the dispersal draft order and every team below me moves up one pick. -OR- Vacate the picks entirely.
- Upload the .mog file to a Dropbox or Google Drive to let somebody else with BM2013 sim the ECCS, then send it back to me for the writeups.

I'm also open to other feedback/suggestions.

I know one thing: this entire experience has been highly informative and if I am allowed to return to oversee ECIX a lot of things will be done differently.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 10:21

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

Grinnblade posted:

This... is a very good point, and frankly I'm embarrassed that I didn't just declare myself ineligible for any tangible reward from the very beginning. Effective immediately, I am declaring myself ineligible to receive any tangible prize outside of the title of McQueen League/Expansion Cup VIII Champion - and the ability to take my team to Super-League IX.

I am also willing to:

- Move to the back of the dispersal draft order and every team below me moves up one pick. -OR- Vacate the picks entirely.
- Upload the .mog file to a Dropbox or Google Drive to let somebody else with BM2013 sim the ECCS, then send it back to me for the writeups.

I'm also open to other feedback/suggestions.

I know one thing: this entire experience has been highly informative and if I am allowed to return to oversee ECIX a lot of things will be done differently.

All of the EC's have had playoffs, so don't worry about that.

Since your team is legitimate, and you shouldn't be penalized for doing a good job with the EC, it wouldn't be right to take players away from you. I do think that in the future rounds where your team is involved, Smasher should run the sims just to prevent any possible accusations against you "gaming" the engine for your team's benefit. Also, please note that I am not accusing, nor would I ever accuse, you of gaming our series. My teams have a tradition of choking in the spotlight dating back to the Riots, and this EC proved that well.

You're doing a good job, don't get discouraged.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 11:26

Mooseontheloose: May 13, 2003

The Pick'em United Can Never Be Defeated
_{Pick TWO!}
Burma Imperialists
San Juan Elephants
[/quote]

# ? Feb 10, 2013 14:44

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

Burma
San Juan

# ? Feb 10, 2013 18:39

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Grinnblade

You need to relax. I was only kidding about you rigging the results. If I actually thought something was up, I probably would have done something about it, rather than just make a joke and then go to bed. In terms of not giving the Potatoes a prize, I'm only a bit leery about that because, as cbx demonstrated not ten minutes after I made that first post, that people are going to complain about it if I do give it you, and since I don't really want to deal with another season worth of drama like the whole "Senerio vs. TKBomber" debacle, this just seems like a neater solution.

So, in summary: relax.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 20:06

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

For the EC advice post, I'm up through the Lovable Losers - a really apt name considering your team - and I should have that and a mock draft up sometime tomorrow or Monday. Apparently I didn't get as snowed in as I thought I would.

That said, I can't seem to find the draft order, so Grinnblade, could you tell me what page it's on again?

Also, I distinctly remember a trade of draft picks going down already. If you were involved in one of those trades, could you please repost it for my consideration? Thanks.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 22:40

Grinnblade: Sep 24, 2007

mentholmoose posted:

That said, I can't seem to find the draft order, so Grinnblade, could you tell me what page it's on again?

Direct link to post.

As far as draft pick trades go I don't remember seeing any offered, but I may just be misremembering.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 23:41

Ginge: Sep 8, 2011; Well, Chippy is already my favourite character!

mentholmoose posted:

Also, I distinctly remember a trade of draft picks going down already. If you were involved in one of those trades, could you please repost it for my consideration? Thanks.

I believe I (Walney) have Tijuana's third round pick, from the Buddy Bell trade.

# ? Feb 10, 2013 23:49

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# ? May 23, 2024 23:57

Bograt: Nov 4, 2009; MagNIFicent

That is correct. I traded my third round draft pick for Buddy Bell.

This didn't work out entirely horribly for me. Just mostly.

# ? Feb 11, 2013 00:43

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