|
I eagerly await next season's reroll when Dick Allen gets a 94 and people are knocking down my door to offer bench players and middle relievers they don't need for him
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2013 00:44
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 27, 2024 23:03 |
|
|
FINAL Pick'em! Macho Men in 9 games, final score 9-5
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2013 02:05
|
|
|
 "We've got to get this franchise out of Florida." The Boss's change of tone drew immediate glances from all of his yes-men. Lining either side of the long table, they nodded in unison as if part of some cowardly baseball-brained hive mind. The bravest of them spoke, though sheepishly, "What are your concerns, sir?" "Well, first off the Kool-Aid Jammers Presents: Miami SplashZone is a derelict shithole, and I doubt we can bilk the taxpayers or our corporate sponsors out of what we need to repair it. Second, several of our players are continually dodging deportation-- and they aren't even Mexican!" "Well, the people here aren't the brightest..." "And just last week Ken Griffey was shot at for 'acting suspiciously!' How do you explain that?" "They did find a pack of Tropical Skittles on his person. Under the right circumstances it could be construed as a weapon." The Boss pounded his fist on the table, "Skittles?" "Yes, Skittles, sir. The police report states he was found 2B4AWN." "Pardon?" "Too black for a white neighborhood, sir." The Boss nearly choked on his cigar, "That's the last straw. I've had enough of this dump and its inbred mouth-breathing occupants, must be the swamp gas. We need to move and move now." "But where?" "Somewhere with class, somewhere cultured, somewhere where the people think they're better than everyone around them." "Well, one and two may be difficult, sir, but number three can be found nearly anywhere in America." The Boss sighed, "Oh, most importantly-- somewhere with an unoccupied stadium." Another of his underling's piped up, "What-- what about Montreal, sir? Full of art snobs, cigarette smoke, and the famous ineptly constructed and recently vacated Olympic Stadium." "It..." The Boss paused, exhaling a fat plume of smoke, "It'll have to do." ... And so the Boss disappeared into the night, bringing with him a reluctant team and fat sacks of cash to pour into the reconstruction of the old Olympic Stadium. First they would fix that convertible roof-- make it work, then replace the old turf with grass and a dedicated group of indentured servants to maintain it. A little re-sizing, a little change of color here and there-- and it'd be the perfect venue for the Manatees to call home. The Refurbished Nu-Lympic Stadium, Montreal! Structure: Convertible Surface: Natural Grass Foul Poles: 333’ Power-Alleys: 375’ Centre Field: 400’ Infield Quality: Good (Enough) Infield Grass: High (Like our standards) Visibility: Poor (A mirror replaces the batters eye, to punish the vain) Foul Ground: Tiny (To encourage fans to reach out and smack the opposing base coaches) A new home, and a mascot for a franchise that Montreal could both be proud of and relate to... the majestic manatee, who will represent the decadence and grace of a city that would feel more rightly at home in the faraway lands of a cultured and anti-anglophone Europe. Montreal... Home of the Manatees. 
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2013 05:03
|
|
|
Pick Em Standings Through Gauntlet, Last Round pre:Gricklegrass 48 Armitage 46 Pander 46 cbx 37 Monathin 35 Senerio 35 Thanks to Gricklegrass and Armitage nailing the Imperialists/Bloggers as being the Gauntlet survivors, we can mathematically eliminate most of the field. Those still on this list are still technically in the running, but only technically as cbx, Monathin, or Senerio would need a perfect 14 score to potentially leap frog the top 3.
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2013 05:23
|
|
|
Oh well. I'm surprised I did as well as I did this far. I usually suck at these Pick 'Ems.
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2013 05:25
|
|
|
Well, that's certainly a relief. Hopefully my position players don't take the next season off. It was interesting to see the range of my guys' performances across the rounds.
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2013 16:57
|
|
|
 : With domineering hand he moves the turning wheel,Like curves in a treacherous pitch swept to and fro: Their ruthless will has just deposed once fearful champs While trustless still, from high they lower unconquered hand; No cries of misery they hear, no tears they heed, But steely-hearted laugh at groans their deeds have wrung. Such is a game we play, and so they test their strength; Of mighty power they make parade when one short hour Sees utter desolation from victory grow. What's past is prologue, and what comes a reminder not to start two DHs at the corners.
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2013 22:07
|
|
|
 Not even It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia films in Philly anymore. Owner: mentholmoose Location: Philadelphia, PA Home Grounds: Citizens Bank Park Teams Used 1919 Chicago Cubs 1992 St. Louis Cardinals 2005 Houston Astros 2011 Boston Red Sox Past Records Expansion Cup VII 77-86, 3rd Place, Already Relegated Division Super League VIII 79-83, 4th Place, Señor Goodtimes Division, Gauntletted Gauntlet VII Round 7: 21-19, 2nd Place, Survived Round 8: 16-24, 4th Place, Relegated Championship History 1x Television Champions A letter to the players of the Philadelphia Failures: mentholmoose posted:Dear Shitheads,
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2013 23:54
|
|
|
 The following contest, scheduled for the best-five-out-of-nine wins, is a career vs. career match. Whichever teams loses this series will be forced to retire forever!  You should listen to this! The Fukuoka Finger-Bangers are the most decorated team in Super-League. Just look at that banner! And, having won their second Super-League championship, there is just one more task for them to achieve: Defeating the invincible Macho Men in a Commissar's Challenge Series. The Bangers' roster is not a delicately-tuned symphony designed to operate in harmony. Nay, 'tis a brutish device, designed to stack as many sluggers together as possible as the expense of both fielding an sanity. That's taken them pretty far to date, but can it take them over this final hurdle?  Sumitomo Mitsui Group Park Fukuoka, Japan Sumitomo Mitsui Group Park, founded by the mightiest Zaibatsu in Japan and host to the two-time Super-League champion Finger-Bangers will host Games 1, 2, 3, 8 and 9 of this series.  You have a moral obligation to listen to this! They are the Macho Men. They appear when the arrogance of man grows to great, and so an example must be made to remind mortals of the true distance between them and the gods.  Polo Grounds The Undiscovered Country The Polo Grounds will host Games 4, 5, 6 and 7 of this series. Oh, yeah!  : Yoshida, wake up! : Hmm...What...oh, sorry, I had this nightmare where the W's lost to Marauder's team and it was mainly my fault. : Yes, that sounds like quite the nightmare...in fact, the only way it could be more nightmarish is if your gently caress-up caused another Marauder-Marauder finals.: So....that wasn't a dream?: It was not. Fortunately for you and the Super-League owners, it's time for me to save you from yourselves and kill the Bangers dead.: Are you sure you can do that? The Bangers have a lot of good players, and the Macho Men's best hitter is Mel Ott.: Well, Mel Ott is a classy dude. Begin the series! : So, no cause for alarm! Mel Ott hit a home run, and the Macho Men took a 1-0 series lead.: Looks like Mel Ott got hurt, though.: Oh, gently caress. : drat you, Goose Gossage!: Right, I mean, the Macho Men don't have much of a bullpen either, so that's kind of a problem. : I will hunt you down, Goose! I will kill you just like the 'Goose' character from Top Gun! And Tom Cruise certainly won't be at the funeral, you son of a bitch!: And the Bangers take a 2-1 series lead. : What the hell is happening? This could not be going worse!: It turns out that the Bangers were easily able to handle a high-strikeout, high-walk pitcher like Ryan.: And he's scheduled to start a potential Game 9. Awesome. Oh well, it looks like Barry Bonds is going to miss the rest of the series, so that's something at least.  : But their Ryan is able to beat us? How the hell does that work? And now we have to win four straight games to win this series? All according to plan.: I'm not sure that the Macho Men can pull this off.: Oh...let's not count them just yet. : The comeback begins!: Pete Alexander has to be the best postseason pitcher in Super-League history. : And Cy Young, as per the plan, was able to lock down the Bangers' hitters by simply not giving them the walks they needed to survive.: That's all well and good, but can the Macho Men win the next two games in Fukuoka? : Carl Hubbell has always been the heart and soul of my team. Also, he is a left-handed pitcher going against a lineup built around left-handed slugging. : So it comes down to this final game... : Macho Men win! And with the death of the Bangers, I imagine that will be the last such challenge we see for some time.: Pop Lloyd made two errors, and the Bangers could not overcome that.: Yes, all told, a great day for me and the Macho Men, and, when you think about it, pretty much everyone who isn't Marauder. Play the music!The Last Will and Testament of the Fukuoka Finger-Bangers I, The Merry Marauder, being of sound mind and sound body, do hereby make, publish and declare the following to be my last will and testament, revoking all previous will and codicils made by me. I declare that it is my intent to clear my reputation, so clouded in life, by the traditional means of a man in my station. My ruthlessness and ferocity, though I still contend them proper, oft struck others as evil and savage. Therefore, to clear my name in death, as I would be unable to do in life, I hereby make my intention known to disperse much of my assets in charitable donations to the latest class of expansion teams. I appoint Smasher Dynamo, commissar of the Super-League and, in his capacity as owner of the Macho Men, my killer, as the executor of this will. To the Canton Catastrophes, I hereby bequeath '00 Eric Gagne. No doubt that he will either help your bullpen or be quite the catastrophe. To the CERN Colliders, I hereby bequeath '96 Jason Giambi. Surely a man of science such as yourself will appreciate a biochemical experiment such as him. To the Detroit Cougars, I hereby bequeath '10 Omar Infante. If he is good enough for your beloved Tigers, certainly he is good enough for you. To the Harvard Elites, I hereby bequeath '90 Jose Rijo. Hopefully his power pitching can take some of the stress off of your defense. To the Idaho Potatoes, I hereby bequeath '64 Earl Battey. After all, a draft pick is not something to be wasted on a backup catcher. To the Jacksonville Jobbers, I hereby bequeath '04 Ramon Hernandez. You deserve a jobber to be your backup catcher, and I believe that Ramon Hernandez used to be a member of that most jobberiffic of Super-League teams, the Brooklyn Bombers. To the Lovable Losers, I hereby bequeath '73 Thurman Munson. Keep him away from small planes. To the Montreal Manatees, I hereby bequeath '87 Scott Fletcher. Vive le Quebec or what have you. To the Million Dollar Men, I hereby bequeath '05 Paul Konerko. Viel Gluck. To the Queens Mercuries, I hereby bequeath '26 Kiki Cuyler. I would give you some inspiring words here, but as your team is to be placed in the same division as my Phoenixes, I hope you quit again. To the Omaha Forgettables, I hereby bequeath '07 Kevin Millar. You chose the '04 Yankees, and therefore are Bruzer's favorite team in the Super-League. Such a team does not deserve my, or anyone else's, help. Cowboy up! To the Patagonia Postmodernists, I hereby bequeath '48 Ferris Fain. If nothing else, I imagine you would make the best use of a solid pot connection. To the Sad Pandas/Panders, I hereby bequeath '54 Bob Feller. You know drat well why. To the Tijuana Mules, I hereby bequeath '92 Juan Guzman. The fact that he might be an upgrade for your team says it all. To the Walney Rakers, I hereby bequeath '50 Carl Furillo. He was the only man remaining from my original feeders that I never traded. I don't know that he is much help on the field, but he always reminded me that from little acorns do mighty oaks grow. I give, devise, and bequeath all of the residue and remainder of my estate to the Super-League. I am sure that Smasher Dynamo will come up with something to do with all of that talent. The Merry Marauder I hereby attest that, under penalty of perjury, that the foregoing is true and correct. Smasher Dynamo Witness Executed on this, 18th day of February, 2013, in the Super-League.
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2013 23:57
|
|
|
 They say cheaters never prosper. TKBomber7285 begs to differ. Owner: TKBomber7285 Location: Portland, ME Home Grounds: Citizens Bank Park Teams Used 1931 Detroit Tigers 1941 Cincinnati Reds 1978 Pittsburgh Pirates 1984 Detroit Tigers 1996 Oakland Athletics Past Records Expansion Cup VI 85-77, 3rd Place, Doppels Division Super-League VII 84-78, 2nd Place, Memento Mori Division, Gauntletted Gauntlet VI Round 9: 19-21, T-2nd Place, Survived Super-League VIII 78-84, 3rd Place, Memento Mori Division, Gauntletted Gauntlet VII Round 6: 15-25, 4th Place, Relegated Championship History 1x Intercontinental Champions 1x Hardcore Champions Obit Let me a tell you a story. And it's a good story, because, unlike most of the poo poo I write, it actually happened. So, once upon a time, TKBomber saw that his Dorchester Phantoms were probably going to be relegated (which he was right about), so he decided to spend $10 to buy an alt account so that he could make a new team, and take advantage of a bonus intended for new owners, without having to sit out a season, as would normally be the case. Now, at the time, I was in no way thinking that someone would do such a thing because, well, it seemed completely loving crazy to spend real actual money on this game, unless, of course, it was bribing me directly. But he wasn't the only one using an alt account that season, because cbx had also created an alt account for reasons to complicated and boring to relate to you now. At some point, cbx told me about the alt account, and that's when I decided to make sure that there weren't any other alt account users out there. And that's how I found out about it TKBomber and the Bulldogs. And, I didn't really punish him too much at the time, and a lot of people, well, mostly complained about that. But I've finally come up with a punishment, and that's that the Bulldogs are going to get this lovely obit. Okay, that's still a lovely punishment. I'd better go with Plan B. 
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 00:19
|
|
|
And now the thrilling conclusion to The Expansion Cup VIII Playoff and Gauntlet Pick Em for Super League VII Thanks to being the only contending team to score more than 1 point on the final playoff series, your winner of a sandwich pick is Pander. We all hope Pander will wisely spend this extra draft pick on a pitcher so that his pitching staff becomes less of a raging tire fire. gingemidget and Monathin were high scorers for the round, guessing the Macho Men in 9 games and being within 1 run of the final score, but, it was ultimately meaningless as they were out of contention. pre:Pander 51 Gricklegrass 49 Armitage 47 Monathin 43 gingemidget 41 cbx 38 Senerio 36 theacox 32 CVE 28 NotThatSamBeckett 26 Mooseontheloose 23 Gabriel Pope 22 ScottyJSno 13 Bograt 3
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 00:37
|
|
|
Okay, time for poo poo you guys actually care about! The draft will start either tonight or tomorrow once I get ahold of mks5000 who has the spreadsheet already prepped and ready to go. For the record, Pander gets the first sandwich round pick, and cbx gets the second. Beyond that, the Intercontinental, European, United States and Hardcore championships were all vacated when the Bangers were retired, so the Hardcore will go to the CERN Colliders as the winners of the EC, and who can also trade in their first-round pick for the EC prize, which is any player that is not currently in the Super-League. As to the rest of the titles, I'll hold a number of playoffs to fill those vacancies. Each of you can sign up to be in any one of those three playoffs. Beyond that, Super-League VIII is officially over! Super-League IX now begins!
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 00:41
|
|
|
Just to be clear, the sandwich picks BOTH occur between the first and second rounds of the draft, right?
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 01:36
|
|
|
cbx posted:Just to be clear, the sandwich picks BOTH occur between the first and second rounds of the draft, right? Yeah
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 01:36
|
|
|
Smasher Dynamo posted:Okay, time for poo poo you guys actually care about! I would like the W's to be placed in the play-offs for the European Championship! Let's bring it back home lads!
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 01:42
|
|
|
 If we're eligible for more than one title to start the season, the Colliders would like to be in the tourny for the USA title. If not, no worries.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 02:01
|
|
|
 We are headed for the European Championship! 
Senerio fucked around with this message at 05:26 on Feb 19, 2013 |
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 02:03
|
|
|
 I will be chasing the United States Championship. It was the title that I introduced to the league, and was stolen from me by the Dervishes sometime near the end of SLVI. It has eluded my grasp these last 2 seasons but with my major rivals vanquished I shall regain what is rightfully mine.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 02:09
|
|
|
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AkF311T6qtJidHlQc19KUDRMVzJWUkFwNS1ZUWhibVE#gid=1 The draft starts...right now! NotThatSamBeckett, you have 18 hours to make your first pick, from this point on, though, it's 12 hours per pick.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 02:13
|
|
|
If there isn't a penalty for losing it or anything, then I sign up for the United States Championships.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 03:41
|
|
|
 The Million Dollar Men sign up to fight for the European Championship (barring no penalties for losing) as well. With enough bribery we may be able to pull off a miracle. On what page was the draft order?
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 03:48
|
|
|
CVE posted:
uhh just use the google doc?
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 03:52
|
|
|
The EV-IL Corp Villians were never truly beaten by one team for the Intercontinental championship, so the Jacksonville Jobbers will go after that title!
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 03:57
|
|
|
I feel like I need to bring the United States Championship back to the city of Detroit, the place many people once considered the heart of America.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 03:59
|
|
|
Considering the competition... well. I think it's safe to say I should find a better alternative than I had. That being said. The Canton Catastrophes will pursue the Intercontinental Title! vvv Grinnblaaaaaaade 
Monathin fucked around with this message at 04:16 on Feb 19, 2013 |
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 04:10
|
|
|
The Idaho Potatoes declare intent to go after the Intercontinental Championship. (I know I said US in the IRC but Detroit AND CERN again? nope)
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 04:11
|
|
|
Then I, too, will challenge for the Intercontinental Title! The European Title would be truly befitting of our new locale, seeing as the Francophones think they are of a superior stock, but I can't help but seek revenge against the Potatoes who have wounded me so. I imagine these won't start until you have us all seeded and whatnot? I'd like to know just so I can post a quick line-up before the tournament begins.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 04:28
|
|
|
Holy gently caress wait. Is there any WBC crazy-ness in the SL?
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 04:31
|
|
|
 
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 05:15
|
|
|
I will take a long shot at the United States Championship Will these games be after the draft?
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 05:25
|
|
|
BREAKING NEWS: New Orleans Mashers to Move to Arkansas, Owner CraigK Cites Lack Of New Stadium as Reason February 1X, VIII: Talks between the city of New Orleans and owner Craig "CraigK" K for concessions from the city fell through, and the team will be moving to Springdale, Arkansas, for the Super League IX season. "God, I mean, my stadium's almost two seasons old! It's losing its new ballpark smell. Those bastards down at city hall wanted to spend money on "disaster preparation". Like New Orleans needs that! What the hell kinds of disasters hit Louisiana? Screw that, I'm taking the team to beautiful Springdale Arkansas, nestled in the majestic Ozark Mountains!" "Also, with the cost of living there, I'll be able to pay the players the league minimum and they'll still live like kings! Heh heOh poo poo is that mic still live?" The multibillionaire Walton dynasty pledged $10MM of the stadium's preliminary $1.3B building costs in exchange for naming rights for the next 30 years. The news came as a shock, as negotiations for a new stadium were previously quoted as going along smoothly. A protest mob formed outside the Megadome today as fans of the now-Destroyers burned Craig in effigy. "Hah, I run a goon-run TF2 server! I hear worse than that when I change the map off Badlands!", Craig was quoted as saying. -------------------------- New Team Name: Arkansas Destroyers New Logo:  New Stadium: Walton Hyperdome 
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 05:29
|
|
|
In order to make the title truly intercontinental, the Antarctica Unspecifieds will enter the Intercontinental Championship tournament.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 08:54
|
|
|
As befitting a team named the Barons, we will enter the tournament for the European championship.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 14:09
|
|
|
The Harvard Elites would like to Challenge for the United States Championship. More like it deserves to be with us.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 15:04
|
|
|
Considering my track record and the moving plea by Theodore Ballgame, I will ask if a team destined for greater success (i.e. not immediate relegation) would like to trade up to grab Ted Williams? Thanks for the walk machine, Marauder.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 15:17
|
|
|
NotThatSamBeckett posted:Considering my track record and the moving plea by Theodore Ballgame, I will ask if a team destined for greater success (i.e. not immediate relegation) would like to trade up to grab Ted Williams? What do you want, starting with the mystery envelope I guess.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 15:26
|
|
|
NotThatSamBeckett posted:Considering my track record and the moving plea by Theodore Ballgame, I will ask if a team destined for greater success (i.e. not immediate relegation) would like to trade up to grab Ted Williams? Well, you don't HAVE to pick Ted Williams. There's Walter Johnson, Pete Alexander, 2 Barry Bonds, George Brett, Willie Mays, Nap Lajoie, etc. He's definitely not the consensus #1, just depends on what your team needs.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 17:00
|
|
|
Throw the Oneida Spooners in the USA Championship.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 17:13
|
|
|
NotThatSamBeckett posted:Considering my track record and the moving plea by Theodore Ballgame, I will ask if a team destined for greater success (i.e. not immediate relegation) would like to trade up to grab Ted Williams? As a team that blew its opportunity to interrupt an all-Marauder final by being too "gimicky", clearly what is needed is more power hitting in the outfield and not substantive bullpen changes! Name your price sir, and I shall see to it that the SL representative will not be a moustachioed Bond Villain reject once again!
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 17:41
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 27, 2024 23:03 |
|
|
I'm not about to craft a deal for each person interested, just make an offer. Promptly, if possible, as I'm on the clock. I'd be willing to trade down, of course, if it's an expansion team. cbx posted:Well, you don't HAVE to pick Ted Williams. There's Walter Johnson, Pete Alexander, 2 Barry Bonds, George Brett, Willie Mays, Nap Lajoie, etc. He's definitely not the consensus #1, just depends on what your team needs. Show me a team that doesn't need Ted Williams and I will show you the Coburns. Also, hahaha, George Brett. In further humor news, I picked '62 Willie Mays as my prize for winning the EC, and look where that got me.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2013 18:03
|
|