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GNU Order posted:God drat it, guilty as charged. They even got the Breaking Bad part right Me too, but with BSG. It's me, I'm the rear end in a top hat 
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Feb 19, 2013 07:10
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The Onion's Tips For Not Accidentally Murdering Your Girlfriend
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Feb 19, 2013 20:15
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This is loving phenomenal.
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Feb 19, 2013 20:23
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Tips on how to save the USPSquote:The U.S. Postal Service announced this week that it would discontinue regular mail delivery on Saturdays, a move officials say will save the struggling agency $2 billion per year. Here are other measures the post office is taking to balance its budget: Also this wasn't from The Onion, but it's still awesome Earth Celebrates as Wayne LaPierre Single-Handedly Diverts Deadly Meteor with Bushmaster Rifle, 100 Round Drum e: whoops, link fixed Amused to Death has a new favorite as of 21:15 on Feb 19, 2013 |
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Feb 19, 2013 20:30
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Amused to Death posted:Earth Celebrates as Wayne LaPierre Single-Handedly Diverts Deadly Meteor with Bushmaster Rifle, 100 Round Drum Swing and a miss, friend.
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Feb 19, 2013 20:32
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Kate Middleton Shows Off Baby Bump That picture. 
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Feb 19, 2013 23:24
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Gils posted:Kate Middleton Shows Off Baby Bump Man, they've really got it in for the royal family.
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Feb 20, 2013 00:00
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An often overlooked source of funny stuff is the AV Club Newswire. For example today in an article about some Bruce Lee movie that is purposefully historically inaccurate:quote:“Stephen Rivele and Chris Wilkinson have taken a little-known chapter in the life of Bruce Lee and used it as a jumping-off point for a bold, exciting story about the making of an international legend,” said producer Michael London in a statement, before his own story suddenly got much bolder and way more exciting after he turned into a werewolf, slaughtered a half-dozen people in Central Park, then was driven by an angry mob to seek refuge in a hidden sea cave. It was there that, after years of lonely seclusion, in which he was forced to imagine buddy-cop stories using the fragments of coral that washed up on the shoreline, producer-turned-werewolf Michael London eventually met and fell in love with a mermaid.
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Feb 20, 2013 00:09
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Nucleic Acids posted:Man, they've really got it in for the royal family. In any case, I Slapped A Crying Child And Called Him A friend of the family And I’m The Bad Guy?
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Feb 20, 2013 00:30
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:I think it's a hatred for the paparazzi surrounding them more than it is a political statement, but maybe the writers of The Onion really are that fundamentally opposed to the very concept of a monarchy.
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Feb 20, 2013 00:35
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Last Chance posted:They might also be writing these pieces because they're funny.
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Feb 20, 2013 01:32
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Echo Chamber posted:Reminds me of Fraternity In Danger Of Losing House Launches Harebrained Scheme To Fix Economy. This is absolutely masterful. It just keeps going and going and right when you think you're at the end, you glance at your browser's scroll bar and realize you're still only halfway through. It's just this immaculate, pitch-perfect econ-themed riff on every single misfit frat comedy in the last 40 years. Thank you PYF, for P-ing my new F.
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Feb 20, 2013 03:38
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Supervisor Encourages Interns To Take On More Responsibilities Of 3 Full-Time Staff Members
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Feb 20, 2013 22:04
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World Doesn't Even Know Who To Admire Any More After Tom Hanks Murders 5 Just when you think they've said all there is to be said.
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Feb 20, 2013 22:09
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New Pain-Inducing Advil Created For People Who Just Want To Feel Something, Anything
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Feb 20, 2013 22:16
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Republicans Reach Out To Women With New 'No Punch Pretty Lady' Bill The dude playing Rep. Arthur Spelman is clearly having the time of his life.
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Feb 21, 2013 03:22
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This is beautiful. Get Me To A Hospital, I Think I Just Swallowed Some Venom! by A Cobra
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Feb 21, 2013 18:47
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:Yes, but why is it funny? The people at The Onion are artists. Everything they do has a point. Some of you all are PBFing pretty hard. It's funny because it's a juxtaposition of the perfect image of royalty vs giving birth to demon spawn. It's not that hard.
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Feb 21, 2013 19:45
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Area Man Panics After Accidentally 'Liking' 381 Of His Ex-Girlfriend’s Facebook Photos
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Feb 21, 2013 19:56
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Michael Jordan Celebrates 50th Birthday With Last People He Hasn't Completely Alienated Yet I'm surprised they didn't throw in a jab about him getting paid hundreds of millions to endorse shoes made by people paid like 7 cents an hour, but whatever.
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Feb 21, 2013 23:21
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Saddam Hussein Complaining To Other Angels About All The Jews In Heaven
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Feb 21, 2013 23:56
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...of SCIENCE! posted:Michael Jordan Celebrates 50th Birthday With Last People He Hasn't Completely Alienated Yet UPDATE: Furious Michael Jordan wanted loving ice cream cake
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Feb 22, 2013 02:13
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Sources: Hackers Vandalized Drudge Report For Last 15 Years
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Feb 22, 2013 03:03
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Haha, beautiful. The last line is great, as always.
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Feb 22, 2013 03:07
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The "incredible last line" thing happens so often there needs to be some kind of term for it.
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Feb 22, 2013 08:06
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TITY BOI posted:The "incredible last line" thing happens so often there needs to be some kind of term for it. Perhaps "punchline"? E: Or is that 
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Feb 22, 2013 08:08
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Carthag posted:Perhaps "punchline"? Punchline would imply (to me) that the rest of the article is a setup for the last line, but they usually come completely out of left field.
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Feb 22, 2013 08:14
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Well in newswriting, the last few lines are sometimes called the "kicker", and it's supposed to capture the general mood of what the reader's supposed to take away from reading the whole article. In many Onion pieces, that's probably the best way to describe the last sentence, but not always. Defeated Man Victorious quote:The defeated man will begin his second term on Jan. 20, 2013, when he will again be triumphantly sworn in as president of a defeated nation.
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Feb 22, 2013 08:45
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The latest Kelly: It figures that he would be one of those assholes that grab fistfuls of coins from the penny tray.
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Feb 22, 2013 11:18
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Brother Jonathan posted:The latest Kelly: The best Kellys are the ones that aren't political and him just drawing about something that annoys him in his daily life. Like this one or the one about him complaining video rental places don't carry tapes anymore.
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Feb 22, 2013 13:01
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Echo Chamber posted:Well in newswriting, the last few lines are sometimes called the "kicker", We can call it a kick line.
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Feb 22, 2013 14:25
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How about "the stinger?" (blatantly stolen from MST3K)
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Feb 22, 2013 14:35
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How about, just assume it's going to happen and just be amazed when it doesn't.
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Feb 22, 2013 15:58
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This article still has my favorite last line of all time.
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Feb 22, 2013 16:19
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Representative Wants To See More Kids Online has the best last line of any of their videos. When I first watched it, I rewinded it to make sure I had actually heard that.
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Feb 22, 2013 17:08
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Man this one brought me to tears: Fun toy banned because of three stupid dead kids
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Feb 22, 2013 17:49
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Orange_Lazarus posted:Man this one brought me to tears: Another oldie-but-goodie: Area Homosexual Saves Four From Fire
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Feb 22, 2013 18:03
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Orange_Lazarus posted:Man this one brought me to tears: Every time I read this I think about the time my dad thought it would be a cool ideas to work with 11 year old me in my attempt to build a crossbow. We drafted plans and went to the hardware store and spent weeks building the drat thing. I had it for all of 5 minutes before I punched a quarter inch hole in the garage door with a plastic GI Joe missile from 5 feet away. Only then did it dawn on him that 'holy poo poo this might not have been a good idea' RIP crossbow
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Feb 22, 2013 19:09
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:This article still has my favorite last line of all time.
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Feb 23, 2013 02:00
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Had a better day today because I remembered the headline-only "African-American Neighborhood Terrorized By Ask Murderer."
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