quote:

After completing a long, arduous Photoshopping task for a fashion company, the payment was due.

ME: In accordance with the contract, you owe me X.

CLIENT: That’s quite a lot of money. How about I don’t tell anyone you slept with two of our models?

ME: I didn’t sleep with any of your models…

CLIENT: How about instead of payment, I organize that?

Sunshine89 posted:

For content, some STDH about Denzel popped up on Facebook, courtesy of the group "Hit Like if Agreed":

Remember this next time you walk up to the ticket window of your local movie theater with $10 in your hand. The Media (Accidentally?) missed this one!!!! Please read this: The troops oversees would like you to send it to everybody you know. Subject: Denzel Washington, and Brooks Army Medical Center. Don't know whether you heard about this but Denzel Washington and his family visited the troops at Brook Army Medical Center , in San Antonio , Texas, (BAMC) the other day. This is where soldiers who have been evacuated from Germany come to be hospitalized in the United States , especially burn victims. There are some buildings there called Fisher Houses. The Fisher House is a Hotel where soldiers' families can stay, for little or no charge, while their soldier is staying in the Hospital. BAMC has quite a few of these houses on base, but as you can imagine, they are almost filled most of the time. While Denzel Washington was visiting BAMC, they gave him a tour of one of the Fisher Houses. He asked how much one of them would cost to build. He took his check book out and wrote a check for the full amount right there on the spot. The soldiers overseas were amazed to hear this story and want to get the word out to the American public, because it warmed their hearts to hear it. The question is - why do: Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Tom Cruise and other Hollywood fluff make front page news with their ridiculous anticsand Denzel Washington's Patriotism doesn't even make page 3 in the Metro section of any newspaper except the Local newspaper in San Antonio . A true American and friend to all in uniform! This needs as wide a distribution as we can create. Please share it!

constantIllusion posted:

Staying on the theme of Customer Service STDH, let's have some from Craigslist Rants and Raves:

Wegman's is a chain of grocery stores located mainly in Western New York that also sells takeout.


The rules say you can only have this many! I'm telling!

Although Wegman's is one of the better paying grocery stores, I seriously doubt that the teenager that runs the cash register really gives a poo poo about how many items each customer has.

Jerry Cotton posted:

Dr_Amazing posted:

This is really old but it did actually happen.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/denzel.asp

quote:

(My boyfriend, who is 5’9″ and 175 lbs. of lean muscle, has come to visit me at work. He’s standing across the counter from me when a customer walks in. Not wanting to be in the way, he moves to stand near our fountain drink. The customer walks up to the counter and gives me a lecherous smirk.)

Customer: “How you doin’ hot stuff? You sure are fine.”

Me: *rolls eyes* “I’m not interested. I have a boyfriend, and he’s—”

Customer: “Yeah, sure. I’ll bet he’s a p****. I’ll show you a real man.”

Me: “I’ll have you know my boyfriend was in the Army and is an MMA fighter, so—”

Customer: “That don’t mean s***! Give me your number and I’ll show you what a real man can do for you.”

(I realize I’m not going to get through to this customer, so I sigh and look over to my boyfriend.)

Me: “Babe, will you please explain to him that I know what a real man is, and what a real man can do?”

(Hearing this, my boyfriend stands up straight, smirks, and cracks his knuckles.)

Boyfriend: “Gladly, baby girl. I was wondering when you were going to let me step in.”

Customer: *pales* “Oh, uh, never mind!” *runs out of the store*

Boyfriend: *laughs* “Good thing he didn’t know I need a knee replacement, huh?”

Hughlander posted:

Mmm Hmm. Customer running out of the store at the sight of a 175# 5'9" guy. At 5'9" and 175 unless you were shirtless no one would think you were anything other than slender.

Crow Jane posted:

All I can picture from the above is a Popeye cartoon.

Skeleton Ape posted:

This would be the lamest extortion attempt ever. "Yeah, well... I'll tell everyone you had sex with attractive women!"

Sunshine89 posted:

The one time something looks like STDH, smells like STDH, is distributed like STDH it turns out to be ST(Actually)H

Nullity posted:

[Translator's Note: Someone was disturbing The Hero's day by complaining near them. The Hero fantasised about glaring super-duper hard and yelling at them but didn't. Then The Hero went home and shared the fantasy with the world.]

Shit_That_Didn't_Happen Checklist
: Check
"Be nice to employees" rant: Check
Free poo poo: Check
Public applause: N/A

Hughlander posted:

Mmm Hmm. Customer running out of the store at the sight of a 175# 5'9" guy. At 5'9" and 175 unless you were shirtless no one would think you were anything other than slender.

Skeleton Ape posted:

This would be the lamest extortion attempt ever. "Yeah, well... I'll tell everyone you had sex with attractive women!"

Hughlander posted:

Mmm Hmm. Customer running out of the store at the sight of a 175# 5'9" guy. At 5'9" and 175 unless you were shirtless no one would think you were anything other than slender.

Lady Naga posted:

Holy poo poo he's saying that he'd give the dude bragging rights how could you not get this????

All on Black posted:

This one also has my favourite piece of patented STDH bonus material: the "hero" ends up looking like as big a douchebag as the villain. My girlfriend would probably dump me if instead of just telling him to leave her alone I cracked my knuckles and played the tough guy routine.

ActionZero posted:

I'm pretty sure that guy was offering to let the other guy sleep with two models then not tell anyone.

Hughlander posted:

At 5'9" and 175 unless you were shirtless no one would think you were anything other than slender.

All on Black posted:

This one also has my favourite piece of patented STDH bonus material: the "hero" ends up looking like as big a douchebag as the villain. My girlfriend would probably dump me if instead of just telling him to leave her alone I cracked my knuckles and played the tough guy routine.

GIANT OUIJA BOARD posted:

At 5'9, and 175lbs you're not slender, you're actually overweight

quote:

I know I’ve gone off on this before and it’s only been a few days, but I need to vent some more and I feel there’s no better place to do it than on this obscure-rear end blog that hardly anyone watches.

Is it too much to ask that the labels I use to describe aspects of myself not be used as a dirty word? I thought there were only ten words (seven if you’re a die-hard Carlin fan).

Otherkin, polyphile, panspirit, asexual, hell, even feminist is a dirty word now. If I say any of them out loud, I can feel the judgement of everyone else around me honing in and mind-flaying me. It’s poo poo like that that reminds me that the world isn’t as mature as I would hope.

I seriously nearly got thrown out of a restaurant tonight because I complained that the waitress made a derogatory comment because she overheard me saying that I was an otherkin. “Does Mr. Bark want a salad?” she trilled at me. Seriously? I am not usually one to get up in someone’s face, but I stopped just short of screaming at her for being such an inconsiderate dolt. Can we try to fix this poo poo, please?

I’m done.

the chief v2 posted:

No one in real life knows what an otherkin is, i certainly dont

Toast1862 posted:

Mo Tzu posted:

Thank God I don't know what half of those words mean. Hopefully by next year tumblr kids will have all sorts of new words to describe themselves and I'll be completely out of the loop.

quote:

(My boyfriend, who is 5’9″ and 175 lbs. of "lean muscle", has come to visit me at Burger King. He’s standing across the counter from me when a customer walks in. Not wanting to be in the way (so considerate), he moves to stand near our fountain drinks. The customer walks up to the counter and gives me a lecherous smirk.)

Customer: “How you doin’ hot stuff? You sure are fine.”

Me: *rolls eyes* “I’m not interested. I have a boyfriend, and he’s—”

Customer: “Yeah, sure. I’ll bet he’s an otherkin. I’ll show you how a real polyphile rolls.”

Me: “I’ll have you know my boyfriend was in the Army and is the current MMA champion...........”

Customer: “That don’t mean poo poo! Give me your number and I’ll show you what a real panspirit can do for you.”

(I realize I’m not going to get through to this customer, so I sigh and look over to my boyfriend.)

Me: “Babe, will you please explain to him that I know what a real otherkin is, and what a real polyphile can do?”

(Hearing this, my boyfriend stands up straight, smirks, and cracks his knuckles.)

Boyfriend: “Gladly, baby girl. I was wondering when you were going to let me step in baby girl. I mean I've been sitting here by the Pepsi squirter just itching to get my Army/MMMA on.”

Customer: *pales* “Oh, uh, never mind! I forgot I have tickets to the Lilith Fair!"

Boyfriend: *laughs* “Good thing he didn’t know I need a knee replacement, huh baby girl!?”

Toast1862 posted:

DISCRIMINATION

Toast1862 posted:

If I say any of them out loud, I can feel the judgement of everyone else around me honing in and mind-flaying me.

Trebek posted:

Toast1862 posted: