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My brother had a gluten-free groom's cake and a normal wedding cake. Both were delicious.
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Feb 25, 2013 01:35
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FISHMANPET posted:Ugh, I thought I was done with the wedding since it was nearly 4 months ago, but I guess not. Why wouldn't you send thank you notes to people who took the time to get you a gift or celebrate with you? Isn't it sort of the very least you can do/basic courtesy? You could I suppose just pre-print thank you notes maybe with a wedding pic and send them out. That I guess is closer to bare minimum acknowledgment at least.
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Feb 25, 2013 02:40
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Why is handwriting thank-you notes not an option? ----- My brother and his wife had a "rainbows and pirates" themed wedding. The invitation had a cartoon monkey on it and a drawing of them riding a dinosaur. If they decided you showed up not dressed silly enough they wanted you to wear a silly hat and they banned polo shirts. Monkeycheese indeed. I ended up missing my flight and thus the wedding so alas, I didn't witness this.
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Feb 25, 2013 03:00
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FISHMANPET posted:Apparently everyone on my side of the family is bugging my mom and dad (but nobody from the wife's side of the family is making a peep) that we never sent out thank you notes. And we didn't. Hand writing a note is just basically not going to happen, so is there anything else I can other than telling my family to stuff it? It's the basic quid pro quo. If you don't send out thank you cards you'll never hear the end of it. Forever. If you can't be bothered to write a note you could always return the gifts.
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Feb 25, 2013 03:03
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My brother in law and his wife didn't send a thank you note after their wedding, or after their baby shower. You can bet that they're not getting any more gifts from me. A lot of the etiquette around weddings is ridiculous, but if someone comes all the way out to celebrate with you, and brings a gift on top of it, they deserve a handwritten note of thanks.
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Feb 25, 2013 03:31
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I guess I'm a horrible monster? I've only been to two weddings as a "grown up" and I didn't get a formal "Thank You" from either one of them. For that matter I don't remember ever seeing a Thank You from any wedding I went to with my parents when I was a kid, but that doesn't mean they didn't exist, just that it wasn't a big deal that we got them. Am I friends with horrible jerks? What's the etiquette for this exactly? It's only my family that's complaining. Maybe I should just send some to them and call it a day? I guess I'm kind of annoyed because I never really wanted to invite my family outside of my parents (I'm an only child). They've always lived far away so I never saw them much growing up, and they've never been a big part of my life. In fact, only 1 of my 3 uncles on my Dad's side even came. I was forced into inviting them by my parents in the first place, and now I feel like I'm being forced into more.
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Feb 25, 2013 04:51
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It comes off as really thankless to the people who celebrated with you and gave you gifts. I can't really express more than that, would it kill you to devote a couple hours to say "thank you"?
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Feb 25, 2013 05:34
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We specifically told people not to bring gifts and paid for an amazing dinner and lots of activities for everyone. If anyone expected thank you notes they can go jump in a lake. I was actually irritated when someone gave us a gift. I specifically said "if you feel the need to pay money for something then give it to charity" I guess I dont know anyone who got married without living together for a while first and once you've established your house then you really don't need anything that someone would give as a gift at a wedding. I might be getting my comeuppance for this though. My MIL has given me 3 bibles since I got married. silicone thrills fucked around with this message at 06:04 on Feb 25, 2013 |
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Feb 25, 2013 05:56
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Tigntink posted:We specifically told people not to bring gifts and paid for an amazing dinner and lots of activities for everyone. If anyone expected thank you notes they can go jump in a lake.
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Feb 25, 2013 06:06
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I dunno, I got courthouse married and still sent out thank you cards even to people who just sent us cards with no money. We didn't expect, much less ask for, anything at all. I was pretty touched at the number of people who took the time to mail us something, be it cards with well-wishes or gifts of money. So to my thinking, they took the time to think of us via physical presence or mail, and it was the span of watching 1 movie between my husband and I to reply to all of the cards and gifts we received with a personalized version of a general message we came up with. People felt appreciated, we spent like $20 doing it, not that big of a deal.
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Feb 25, 2013 07:11
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Toriori posted:It comes off as really thankless to the people who celebrated with you and gave you gifts. I can't really express more than that, would it kill you to devote a couple hours to say "thank you"? When you are *expected* to do it or people will get all pissy about it, is it really actually a sign of appreciation? Obligations make it hard to be genuine in your intentions.
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Feb 25, 2013 12:24
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Chin Strap posted:When you are *expected* to do it or people will get all pissy about it, is it really actually a sign of appreciation? Obligations make it hard to be genuine in your intentions. I guess it depends on how aware of it they are. Was everyone invited aware OP didn't want to invite that many people? Could just write "Thanks!........I GUESS" in the card so the what he feels is really present  Did they bring you money/gifts fishmanpet? If so I think the right thing would be thank you cards. Maybe even just e-cards, which is getting pretty popular. 54 40 or fuck fucked around with this message at 14:08 on Feb 25, 2013 |
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Feb 25, 2013 14:05
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FISHMANPET posted:I guess I'm a horrible monster? I have to agree with what everyone else said. A thank you note doesn't need to be a huge hand written card, just a couple quick sentences thanking them for coming and thanking them for their gift. This shouldn't take more than a minute per card so unless you have 1000 guests, I'm really not sure what the big deal is here. If you had 200 people at your wedding, assuming on average there were two people per invitation, you have 100 cards to send out. If your wife writes half and you write half you should be done writing them in under an hour, maybe another 30 minutes to put them in envelopes and stamp them. For what it's worth, I went to five weddings last year and got a thank you card from all of them.
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Feb 25, 2013 14:32
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You really should send a thank you card after anyone gives you a gift, doubly so if they never had the chance to watch you open it and hear a verbal thank you. That's common courtesy. It doesn't matter if they gave you the gift unexpectedly, or you don't like it, or you're just writing a note because it's expected. When someone goes out of their way for you, it's important to send them a note of appreciation.
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Feb 25, 2013 16:28
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EvilGummy posted:Anyone know of any venues in SoCal that you'd recommend, ones that might run me less than 3-4k just for the rental of time? And that I can do a ceremony outside at too? We're going with the Los Angeles River Center & Gardens this October. http://www.lamountains.com/planning_river.html Its right at your top end though. For $4,000 and with a $1,500 refundable deposit, you can get the site on Friday (year-round), or Saturday/Sunday (January-April, November and December) for up to 150 people. This was the 2011 pricing guide that we were given, so it may have gone up. Its really beautiful if you like gardens. We're having the ceremony and reception there. Its outdoors, but they have a nice indoor area in case of rain.
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Feb 25, 2013 16:57
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Raimondi posted:We're going with the Los Angeles River Center & Gardens this October. http://www.lamountains.com/planning_river.html This sounds very nice! I emailed them for more information, but did they tell you anything in regards to dace floors etc? If there was an area for it, or if I needed to bring my own? Thanks for the info, I didn't even see this place in my searching!
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Feb 25, 2013 19:00
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EvilGummy posted:This sounds very nice! I emailed them for more information, but did they tell you anything in regards to dace floors etc? If there was an area for it, or if I needed to bring my own? The ceremony will be on the grass, but there's a patio area that is cement where you'll have people eat and dance during the reception.
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Feb 25, 2013 19:13
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Tigntink posted:We specifically told people not to bring gifts and paid for an amazing dinner and lots of activities for everyone. If anyone expected thank you notes they can go jump in a lake. Even if people don't give you a gift, they often spend a lot of money and time to come to your wedding. I guess there are always exceptions and your entire wedding could have been attended by people who lived in the area and didn't need to book a hotel room or pay for a babysitter or who had nothing else important going on in their lives that could have been taken care of that day, and you got around to say thank you to each and every person individually during the reception. But for the most part, some combination of the above mean it's usually in good taste to send a simple thank you note. Personally I'd never be offended if I didn't get one because it's a formality that doesn't really mean much to me. But at the same time, I wouldn't think of skipping them after my wedding.
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Feb 25, 2013 20:55
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Well, our big day is Sunday. It is crazy how quickly our elopement spun out into a full blown wedding (even though there are only going to be about 15 people there). After all the expenses of her dress, my suit, our rings, the venue, photographer, cake, flowers, decorations, catering, etc, etc, I think we're still under $4000. Now I'm just trying to think of anything we're forgetting.
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Feb 26, 2013 16:22
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So we've been told by the military we should get married ASAP. They will not provide a date when they will allow my fiance to take leave from training to do so. I'm about to go insane. In the past three days our wedding date has changed from September this year to ASAP to 2015 to 2014 and back again. We get a different answer from everyone we ask for guidance about this. I'm about to strangle the next person who sticks their nose in and offers the suggestion of "why can't he just leave survival training for a weekend?" 
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Feb 26, 2013 17:29
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FISHMANPET posted:Ugh, I thought I was done with the wedding since it was nearly 4 months ago, but I guess not. I would just write some notes. Or type up a nice general email for relevant people. If you can't take a couple minutes to send your grandma a thank you note you must be very busy.
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Feb 26, 2013 18:27
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:So we've been told by the military we should get married ASAP. They will not provide a date when they will allow my fiance to take leave from training to do so. What is your situation? I haven't been following this thread closs enough. (I'm in the military, perhaps I can give you some advice)
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Feb 26, 2013 19:07
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Mordiceius posted:What is your situation? I haven't been following this thread closs enough. (I'm in the military, perhaps I can give you some advice) I posted in the small questions thread in GiP, basically the gist of it is my fiance has orders for a four year tour in Okinawa starting later this year but I can't join him until early 2015 due to work commitments here. We're trying to find a way to get the USAF to pay for my move and our wedding date is a factor. No one will give us a straight answer as to when we need to get married for that to happen.
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Feb 26, 2013 20:54
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Just do a quick justice of the peace wedding and plan for the "big" wedding to be later when life has stabilized?
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Feb 27, 2013 00:04
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Tigntink posted:Just do a quick justice of the peace wedding and plan for the "big" wedding to be later when life has stabilized? That's our plan at the moment. We were trying to avoid it since we were planning on having a Catholic ceremony, I'm meeting with the priest tomorrow to discuss our options regarding doing the legal part and religious part separately. The priest doing our wedding is familiar with military bullshit (he's been around for a while and was officiating weddings in a military town during the Vietnam war) and has said he'll work with us on it so I'm optimistic about working something out. It's going to result in a HUGE fight with my parents, but they can suck it. It's our wedding, not theirs. We're going to mull it over for a few days and do some more asking around before we decide on a course of action.
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Feb 27, 2013 03:17
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I've been picking out the music for the wedding and reception. The fiancee got to make 100% of the wedding decisions under the condition that I get full control of music selection. While everyone is going to be seated, we will be playing Cloud Atlas Sextet. She is going to walk down the isle to Reign of Love by Coldplay. And the wedding party will exit to You are the Best Thing by Ray LaMontagne These are the songs I plan for the reception (still need to set the order): 
Mordiceius fucked around with this message at 18:11 on Feb 27, 2013 |
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Feb 27, 2013 09:01
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^^^^ "You are the best thing" is definitely going on our playlist at some point. Such a loving sweet song. Sweet playlist so far too, dude. We're going to work on a playlist for the 15-20 minutes between the signaling to be seated and the beginning of the ceremony. I defintely want Flaming Lips' "Do You Realize" for that part, as a sort of memorium for those who've already left life and can't be with us. For the entrance, his family and he will enter to Indiana Jones theme, and my family and I will enter to the Jurassic Park theme. We'll segue directly from the first kiss into the first dance to "A Kiss to Build a Dream On"--not sure if we'll use the Sachmo recording or someone else, or if we can get someone to perform it. melaneyelia fucked around with this message at 19:56 on Mar 2, 2013 |
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Mar 2, 2013 19:54
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Welp. Today's the day. I leave to help set up some stuff in about 30 minutes. Ceremony starts at 4:30 pacific time (just over two hours).
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Mar 3, 2013 23:12
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Mordiceius posted:Welp. Today's the day. I leave to help set up some stuff in about 30 minutes. Ceremony starts at 4:30 pacific time (just over two hours). Congrats! Go get married goon!
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Mar 4, 2013 00:06
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Mordiceius posted:Welp. Today's the day. I leave to help set up some stuff in about 30 minutes. Ceremony starts at 4:30 pacific time (just over two hours). There just ain't nothin' like a well-dressed man 
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Mar 4, 2013 00:43
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Three more days to go! I'm trying really hard not to think about it too much. My maid of honor comes from out of town tomorrow. My fiance is still hungover from his bachellor party Saturday. I'm so nervous, and so excited!
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Mar 4, 2013 10:00
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Electronic invitations, yes or no? Having an environmentally friendly wedding is very important to us, and our budget is only about $2000, hopefully closer to $1000. evites are pretty sweet for both of those requirements. We did paper save the dates because it was dirt simple for us to buy some stamps from costco (we only have 50 people coming, including +1s) and do up the postcard in Illustrator and just print it off on nice paper at the office, and we were kind of in a hurry because we have people coming from all over Canada. I like the evite thing because there are so many free options, and people who care can always print off the invitation themselves anyway. And managing those RSVPs becomes dirt simple.
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Mar 4, 2013 20:58
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tuyop posted:Electronic invitations, yes or no? To be clear, I think your idea of doing online-only invitations is a bad idea. You will confuse/offend the old timers.
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Mar 4, 2013 22:46
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So Something positive and I are scrambling to get ready for June, paying off the dress, getting reservations in, and all that jazz. She works full time so most of the wedding planning has fallen upon me. I do have a few questions for you goons who have been through this before. 1. We have the dress bought and (just now) paid off, but omg shoes and accessories are now up. S.P. really wants a tiara over a veil. Do you know of a place to get a cheap one online? Some that I've seen in shops get to over 100 dollars a pop. Something around 50 would be much more feasible. 2. How did you handle reception halls? Any story's you an share to help me get guidance for a smashing after-wedding party?
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Mar 4, 2013 22:58
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There's a chain of accessories stores owned by Claire's called Icing, which are usually found in malls and are targeted towards older girls. Every one I've been too has a bridal section with jewelry and other miscellaneous accessories. They do have a variety of tiaras and tiara combs (not real diamond or crystals, fyi, if that's an issue for you) that are pretty, sparkly, and elegant at the same time. Relatively cheap too, price-wise. I guess it'd be quality cheap too if you're kinda rough with handling poo poo, but I've never had things break whenever I've bought stuff from there. They have garters on sale for 3-4 bucks right now, to which I jumped at  Who needs an expensive garter belt for the toss anyways? Might go back for my own bridal jewelry and maybe those bachelorette party sashes that say "Maid of Honor" and "Bridesmaid."
snowdoge fucked around with this message at 23:22 on Mar 4, 2013 |
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Mar 4, 2013 23:20
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Cock Democracy posted:What I'm considering is sending out paper invitations, with the traditional pre-stamped RSVP card to mail back (for the old people) but also with a QR code and URL for RSVPing online. I've never seen this done but personally I feel I'd respond quicker if I could do it online. I also have in the back of my mind that when someone does RSVP online, afterwards it will dump them into our wedding web site and tactfully encourage them to check out our gift registries. Maybe we can convert a lot of our RSVP'ers to gift buyers right away. (Can you tell that I work in web development?) That's a great idea, and I'm pretty tired of the input of a lot of friends and families who are stuck on stupid wedding traditions. Like, it's confusing enough already for Racist Grandma 3 because: She "proposed" to Him, there are no rings, there's no church/priest, there's no dress, no wedding party, no obscure acquaintances, and all the food is prepared by us or our friends. So the invitations are a small hill to die on, really, compared to the lack of rings and religion.
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Mar 4, 2013 23:21
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tuyop posted:That's a great idea, and I'm pretty tired of the input of a lot of friends and families who are stuck on stupid wedding traditions. Like, it's confusing enough already for Racist Grandma 3 because: She "proposed" to Him, there are no rings, there's no church/priest, there's no dress, no wedding party, no obscure acquaintances, and all the food is prepared by us or our friends. So the invitations are a small hill to die on, really, compared to the lack of rings and religion. I'd do like one guy said and do paper invites for the relatives and evites for people you know will be cool with it. The invitations are a little different than a lot of those other things because your guests will actually have to do something with them, and you actually need the information for serious. No dress, huh? Wow, naked wedding is pretty environmentally friendly!
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Mar 5, 2013 00:38
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We never did the flower toss or garter toss (and I don't think I took the garter off either) because nobody ever told us to. We basically just let the wedding coordinator boss us around and then we stayed until the hotel staff shut down the ballroom and that was it.
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Mar 5, 2013 00:44
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tuyop posted:Electronic invitations, yes or no? We're doing mostly electronic invites. Out of about 150 people (not including +1s) we're inviting, only about 45 are being sent by mail. How I'm making this work: 1. Got addresses for those people who live out of town and either a) I don't know that well but are important to our (inclusive) parents or whomever to invite, or b) are very important and I know they want paper invites for scrapbooking/whatever. 2. Sent individual STDs to people on Facebook asking for emails or if they really prefer, mailing addresses. I only received 3 or so people who really want paper invitations, and many many more people who congratulated me on "going green." No, not everyone responded, but I have time to hunt them down. 3. Made a website where the front page has the same wording as the inside of the paper invitation. I also direct people to the website to RSVP (or call FMIL) on the paper. 4. Send out paper invitations, no return cards or anything. A week or so later, email a hyperlinked in-line image of the front of the invitation that directs people to the website, where they can find out more and RSVP. I also designed and printed my own invitations on cardstock from my home printer. Yes, it took a long time, yes it is totally worth it. No, it does not look professional, but it looks really good. The biggest expense (besides stamps which will be good even after the fall of the United States Postal Service) was ordering cutesy personalized envelopes with our return address on the back from Vistaprint.
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Mar 5, 2013 02:23
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Spiffster posted:So Something positive and I are scrambling to get ready for June, paying off the dress, getting reservations in, and all that jazz. She works full time so most of the wedding planning has fallen upon me. I do have a few questions for you goons who have been through this before. Go on etsy. I got my veil really cheap on there. Lots of good options and you can get something custom.
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Mar 5, 2013 02:26
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