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Started playing a new session of V:tM the other night. The group was composed of an Assamite assassin, a Brujah anarch, a Follower of Set/computer hacker and my Gangrel. The game on the whole was ok, but a few moments stood out as hilarious. - my Gangrel is contacted for a job (he makes a living as hired muscle, but he's only somewhat known of and not a major player anywhere), and meets with a Ventrue at a local diner. The storyteller asks me, in a southern/cajun accent: "What's yer name, boy?" "Well, according to this note I found, I'm To Whom it May Concern." Turns out, she just didn't remember my character's name, and was asking me OOC. - backstory: the hacker manages to completely destroy a Nosferatu firewall thanks to a huge number of rolled 10s and begins rooting around their stuff. The victory is shortlived as they easily find him, and after a brief chase, is kidnapped. The scene ends with him being apprehended and having a sack tied over his head. Later, we are all finally brought together by our various contacts for plot. Introductions between a handful of primogens (Malkavian, Ventrue, Nosferatu, and the Tremere's #2), the assamite, the brujah and myself are made. The malkavian looks to me and says: "Ah yes, Mr. Appleton told me of you. Do you prefer Mr. Whom or Mr. Concern?" The Nosferatu primogen unceremoniously throws the bound and hooded Follower of Set to the floor before us as a new "recruit." At the Malkavian primogen's request, he is finally unhooded. He takes a single look around, surrounded by a number of unknown vampires, including the gang who just kidnapped and beat his rear end, and in his best McLovin voice says "What's up party people?" There was more, but that's all that comes to mind right now.
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Feb 26, 2013 03:56
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Just got out of a great experience. Warhammer 40k RPG, Only War, basically you're the grunts of the Imperium of Man, the Imperial Guard. Space Marines are elite murder machines who are forged from metal and plot to be immortal demigods, Imperial Guard are Joe Sixpack drafted into service, given minimal training, and kept in line with the threat of death. poo poo isn't great, is what I'm saying. For this mission we just began we had to secure a city that was once invaded by Orkz and 'beaten back'. We go down, have a good time with our tank blowing up buggies and bikes and feeling like badasses. My character is a Ratling sniper, engineered demihumans who are short, weedy, little fuckers not fit for military life, but expert survivalists and snipers. Since we're a tank company my job is to run ahead, scout, and get up on buildings to shoot Orkz out of driver seats to keep them from denting our fancy tank. I decide to run ahead and climb up through an apartment building, one of the highest ones in the area, and get a nice vantage point to scout around and be on alert for more Orkz. On my way up, though, I get ambushed by a small gang of Gretchen, which are the lowest of the low in Ork society. We're talking tiny, weak, can barely shoot or hit, annoyances at best. The problem is, they surprise me, the GM describes them as 'letting out a horrid shriek' and firing blindly over my head. Now, my dude fights from hundreds of meters away for a reason, he's kinda a wuss. He hates being in the Guard, he hates military life, he's there because they will shoot him in the head if he even looks like he's going to walk away and no other reason. So, I bail, running up the stairs more, yelling on the comm that I'm being chased by 'a mob of Orkz', not inaccurate in the literal sense, but a bit much. So, now the squad is coming in from across the city, most notably our heavy weapons girl is climbing another roof to set up her autocannon to help, tank pilot is driving the tank down the road frantically ordering the cannon loaded, and our Commissar running through the front door about two floors behind my sniper and the 'mob' constantly. Eventually I make it up to the roof, dodging shots and freaking out, but then I decide to redeem myself a bit, trying for a badass move of prepping a grenade to throw through the door as soon as the Gretchen get up there. They're only a floor behind me so they come faster than our Commissar, and I figure it's safe to chuck my grenade. I miss, and in this game when you miss with a weapon like this you scatter, basically roll a die to see the random direction it goes, it adds a bit of stakes to just firing heavy explosives into poo poo and all. I roll that my grenade falls behind me, off the roof. So, basically, my guy throws his hand back for momentum, and butterfingers loses the grenade. Heavy weapons girl sees this, and avoiding metagame (because she's laughing too hard) she decides her character sees this as my guy in danger, so she fires blind with her big cannon and gets insanely lucky. Between her seeing the grenade and firing her gun (she needs a bit to set up) I do manage to get a couple of the Gretchen with my sidearm, yelling insults and generally overcompensating for looking like a total clownshoe this encounter. We get down to two of them by the time heavy weapons girl fires, and her lucky shot hits one of them dead on, and explodes it in a torrent of goop that splatters on me. This leads to me with the last one, knowing Gretchen are maybe the few things bigger cowards than me on this planet I aim my gun at it and say "My friends can do that, surrender before they get here and maybe you can live" thinking we can get some info from him and all, and thus my little trip wasn't a total waste. Of course, I fail that roll, and instead of surrendering the Gretchen drops his stuff and bails, running back down the stairs, right into the Commissar's path. Without even pausing the Commissar blasts the Gretchen and keeps walking up, assuming this was just part of the 'mob' and the real threat was up there with me. He gets there, finds me next to a smoking cannon hole, covered in Gretchen guts, and with only two other tiny corpses next to me, and all I can really think to say is 'They sounded a lot bigger'. And that's the story of how we brought heavy weapons fire and were ready to bring a tank to fight a group of four Gretchen. The whole time we were laughing about how absurd this was, but since only knew in character what the 'threat' really was we all had to pretend it was a serious problem.
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Feb 26, 2013 06:35
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the_steve posted:The malkavian looks to me and says: "Ah yes, Mr. Appleton told me of you. Do you prefer Mr. Whom or Mr. Concern?"
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Feb 26, 2013 14:41
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Zereth posted:You should roll with this. Your character's name is now Mr. Concern. The guy playing the assamite voted for Whom so that I could "out-British the Doctor." We did agree that Mr. Concern had potential as a sweet name given my character type. Oh yeah, I'm running with it.
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Feb 26, 2013 15:17
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Easy, Mr. Whom is your name, Mr. Concern is your alias 
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Feb 27, 2013 01:58
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"My name is Mr. Concern and I don't give a gently caress!"
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Feb 27, 2013 08:42
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"My name is Mr. Concern, and you are none of mine." -stakes enemy vamp to leave out for the sun, walks away in slow motion, puts on sunglasses-
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Feb 27, 2013 11:58
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Notable Gaming Experiences? Alright, here ya go. I'm not exactly a tabletop RPG veteran - in fact, I only started playing last summer. Basically, me and a couple guys from the Fallout megathread on another forum decided to check out the PnP version of Fallout (which I'm pretty sure was put together by Joshua E. Sawyer, the Lead Designer of Fallout: New Vegas). It was probably the best introduction to the hobby I could've gotten. Our party consisted of: - The Lady, a British spy girl specialized in diplomatic ways of solving problems. She turned out to be entirely useless, mainly due to... - Knight, our driver. Knight was a ghoul (for these of you unfamiliar with the Fallout universe: an irradiated human who somehow managed to survive. Ghouls tend to have very long lifespans, at the cost of looking like a zombie, obviously being sterile, and sometimes going totally bonkers and starting to act like your regular run-of-the-mill zombies) with mediocre driving skills, a love for explosions, and absolutely outlandish luck. (12, to be precise - the Ghoul racial max. The maximal Luck value for a regular human is 10.) He actually managed to be a great help in combat, as well as the group's walking explosives storage. - Red Allen, a ghoul cowboy. That was my character. Allen was a former Vault dweller, and a "been there, seen that" type (mainly because I'm a giant nerd when it comes to the Fallout universe, and I wanted to have an excuse to use that knowledge  ). Allen was pretty lucky himself, I think I gave him 9 or 10 Luck. (this resulted in some hilarious rolls and racking up criticals like it ain't no thang)- Batman. Yeah. Batman was a brawler type, which resulted in him being pretty useless. (he ended up getting a bit to close to the business end of Knight's M79 grenade launcher.) This was our initial line-up, later on we also had an rear end in a top hat robotic dog - Fluffy, a Super Mutant pacifist scientist - Dr. Brule, and a psychic (and sort of psychotic) girl with pyrekinetic capabilities (played by the guy who played as Batman). Also, Lady's player left us - she didn't like the lack of seriousness. Anyway, onto the stories! The fastest bullshiter in the West Situation: the old school bus, not unlike the one seen in Mad Max 2, with the party on board, pulled up to a Brotherhood Of Steel checkpoint. (the BoS are basically post-apocalyptic knights, just wearing power armour, not particularly chivalrous, and concerned mostly with preserving the pre-war technology. Also, the Chicago branch has a fascist bent) The BoS looks us over, and, since we aren't packing any laser rifles or nothing, they decide to let us through. Just as we're about to drive away, though, one of the soldiers notices a LAW we've got stashed away. We panic, and this little exchange ensues (OOC talk in italics) BoS guy: "Hey, is that a fuckin' LAW you've got in there? Red: "Uh, no." GM: "Rolling for Speech." At this point the whole group collectively shat our pants, because Red wasn't exactly built with diplomacy in mind, meaning he ended up with only 10 (or 20, not sure) Speech (the max is 300, and 100 is basic proficiency) and 2 Charisma. GM: "You pass." BoS Guy: "Alright then, have a nice day!" The next five minutes is pretty much just us going "holy poo poo, how the hell did that happen?" The Great Escape (starring the most inept gangsters in the universe) Situation: Batman's player had to leave the previous session early, so we put him on the bus. Quite literally. Some time after that, the bus got confiscated by the BoS, since it had a high-tech engine. The next session rolls around, the guy's with us, we tell him what happened and tell him that, since his character was asleep on the bus, he's still on it, parked somewhere in the Brotherhood's impound lot or whatever. He decides to make a break for it, and, with the help of some improbable rolls (again), gets away, without even crashing the bus. Meanwhile, the rest of the party's fighting a bunch of gangsters. Since we're in Chicago, the gangsters are obviously wearing suits and trying to rip us apart with Tommy Guns. Only they're not really good at it - they kept rolling critical failures. The only successful attack bounced off Knight's chest (combination of lucky damage roll, low minimal damage of the Thompson, and his armour being really drat good for a leather jacket). So, basically, after a while of "fighting", one of the gangsters is knocked out and barely alive, the other just got plugged by Red but is still standing, one is dead because his gun exploded in his hands (gotta love crit fails), and the last one's about to hose us down. Suddenly, a school bus with Batman in the driving seat comes speedin' from around the corner. Batman parks the bus on the shot but alive guy in a truly "GTA, motherfucker" moment, making him shot, ran over and very much dead, and jumps out, ready to whoop some rear end. The alive guy, seeing that he's pretty much screwed, pulls out a frag grenade. poo poo. He tries to throw it, and, obviously, fails the roll. Critically. After a bit of discussion in the chat, we settle on him throwing the pin, and keeping the grenade in his hand. The grenade does what grenades tend to do, and explodes, kiling the wielder, and his barely alive buddy with shrapnel. There's much more where that came from, but it's pretty drat late right now, so I'll post the rest tomorrow. cis_eraser_420 fucked around with this message at 02:48 on Mar 1, 2013 |
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Mar 1, 2013 02:43
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Those situations are hilarious. I am intrigued by this, where can I find it?
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Mar 1, 2013 02:53
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landcollector posted:Those situations are hilarious. I am intrigued by this, where can I find it? I picked up a copy of it here. http://www.nma-fallout.com/forum/dload.php?action=category&cat_id=63
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Mar 1, 2013 07:05
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Had a pretty insane Eclipse Phase game tonight. Firewall wants our group to infiltrate a prison on Luna, because they've gotten a tip that someone's going to try to break someone out of it... sometime. The vaguest intel possible, in other words. They want us in there to figure out what's going on and stop it, which apparently might ingratiate the Luna-Lagrange Alliance to us. Kind of strange for a PR op, but ok. After some prison stuff the day of the escape arrives. Some insane exhuman with 4 speed busts out of a cell in Super-Maximum Security, while a prison riot rages and a bunch of Ultimate mercs inside try to distract the guards. The three of us had infiltrated as inmates, like we had been told to. One of us in Minimum Security, one in Maximum Security [sic], and one in Super-Maximum Security. Our Steel morph in Min Sec manages to confront this 4-speed monstrosity as the rest of us give chase. She's holding her own, but needs backup, when my character arrives. I fight by wielding a sticky grenade in each hand. Over two Action Phases I slap 4 grenades onto the back of this guy, then jump back behind a wall and remote detonate them all. My thought was if we can stop this guy, we can just grab the cortical stacks of both the escapee and my team member and high-tail it out of there. Plus, I knew the exhuman was faster than me, so I didn't want let him take any more actions. Our poor Steel morph is an unfortunate casualty in the explosion, but the grenades do incapacitate the exhuman. Mission accomplished, right? Unfortunately at this point, his extraction, which I had completely forgotten about, arrives via hovercar, and four more identical guys drop from ropes and scoop up the escapee's body. Being a man down, we're unable to stop them from jetpacking back up to the hovercar. After profuse OOC apologies over killing one of our own halfway through the session... Our Dragonfly (a kind of winged mechanical body) manages a crit success on sniping a weak point on the hovercar, doing 38 damage, which is 2 less than we needed to disable it. I grab one of the rappel ropes and start to climb, swinging from rope to rope as they try to cut them from above, dodging fire, and spending every reroll I have. I make it to the hovercar, reach through the rotor and plant a sticky grenade in the exhaust port, losing one of my hands in the process, then remote detonate it while sliding back down the rope. The hovercar then crashes through the exterior dome of the prison, exposing the entire prison to the vacuum outside. Fortunately both living members of our team can survive for at least a little while. We are told OOC it's likely the escapee's team survived the crash. End result thusfar: * Our target escaped for now. * We spaced about a hundred guards, hundreds of prisoners, and visiting civilians including a visiting governor. * If it gets out that Firewall is involved, even by rumor, even if we're not technically "responsible", it's a PR disaster. And it was meant to be a positive PR op. * One of our team is dead and will need a new body, one is missing a hand, and I'm not certain the third in the Dragonfly can fly in vacuum. TheDemon fucked around with this message at 09:31 on Mar 1, 2013 |
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Mar 1, 2013 09:20
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Bob was notoriosly oblivious to traps, even though he actually had a decent WIS (and thus a bonus to perception). He continually fell victim to traps, though it was usually more to a lack of caution than to simply not being able to notice. Two of my favorites; One was a rope some hobgoblins had tied across a broken building strewn field inside a ruined city, with wild grass growing all over and obscuring the view of the rocks, specifically to slow creatures down that much more as they approached for a bit and provide them more time for shooting arrows at the approaching enemies. Well, Bob wasn't much of a ranged guy so he charges straight at the building the hobgoblins were in. As an aside, there were some relatively undamaged stables to the side of the field, which might be walked through to cut down on the amount of time the group was out in the open and which bypassed the rope. Further, approaching the rope at a steady pace (not charging as fast as possible) made the spot DC 10 (55% chance of someone with zero bonus to notice), but Bob was charging headlong, so I gave him a -2 penalty for charging, and another -2 because of all the loose rocks. Well, didn't matter, he rolled a 1, tripped over the rope, and became the primary target for the archers for a full round. If he had even simply approached with the group, someone would have probably noticed the rope, and he wouldn't have been the closest (and therefore easiest to hit) target. Or, of course, used the stables for cover! The next one is one of my favorite traps ever, and I try to work one into ever campaign, if not every "dungeon". I call it the "Rock on a rope" trap. Basically, a stick or something is propped against the backside of a door, holding up a rock, or brick, or hammer, or whatever, which is attached to a rope or chain or whatever which is attached to the door frame. Opening the door moves the stick or whatever and causes the rock or whatever to swing towards whoever opened the door. It's a cheap trap, and one easy to avoid or notice beforehand, but good old Bob didn't even bother looking for a trap. He just swung the door open and got a face full of rock. This is also extra funny because he had a pretty good reflex defense. It's almost as though my dice like to punish characters who are good at certain things, but he could have also avoided the trap by looking for it, like most traps he fell for. This brings me to two of my favorite Bob moments. Later in his career, it's assumed that the group's going to find the traps because Bob's going to set them off. There was one fairly complicated pit trap near the entrance of a cave the group was entering, and for some reason someone besides Bob went in first. This person actually noticed the trap, but walked over it anyhow just to see what happened. Well, she fell down the hole. So Bob, in his infinite wisdom, says "A trap!", and dives in the hole behind her. The group effectively does the dungeon backwards because this trap led to jail cells on the bottom floor, and they all dove in without trying to get back out the way they got in. I actually really liked this strategy though. While it was unexpected, it was highly entertaining, as the very second fight was the boss fight, and the boss wasn't expecting them because nobody rang the alarm. Another time the group was in a dungeon that had undead in it. They made their way to a room with two hallways in the back corners. The hallways gently sloped downward. I'm not sure why, but the players decided there was a trap in the hallways. Incidentally, they were correct. Perhaps they knew me. It was actually a pretty easy trap to avoid (I didn't really want the group to fall for it). Because this was the next dungeon right after that last trap, which lead to success, Bob proclaims "I bet there's a trap here", and proceeds to jump into the hallway. Well, the trap was simply that the hallway was covered in super slick slimy mold, and spiraled down to a room with a bunch of skeletons in it (the animated kind that like to break flesh), and also the room was full of the slippery slime, making fighting them difficult. So Bob slides down the spiralling hallway trap, crashes into a skeleton, and falls on his butt. As he stands back up to fight the skeletons, he shouts to the group "It's a trap, guys! There are skeletons and stuff!", so the other fighter in the group jumps down the spiraling trap hallway, into Bob, knocking them both over in the middle of a horde of skeletons. Next round, the healer does the same thing. By the time the last player says they're jumping down there, too, I remind him "If nobody's left up here, who's going to trow down a rope or something to let everyone else back up?" So he says "Oh, right!", ties a rope to a pillar and the other end to himself, and jumps down the trap-way.
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Mar 1, 2013 09:26
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baupdeth posted:I picked up a copy of it here. The char sheet program's pretty nifty, but has some really annoying downsides. (for example, if you've got a sheet open and load up a new one, the tag skills get all messed up) And, as promised, more stories! Infiltration, the Knight way Situation: we got contracted by the Enclave (rivals of BoS, kind of rear end in a top hat fascist nationalists in the games, but the GM decided to make them the good guys, because, in his words, "he was tired of the players sucking up to the Brotherhood to get kickass gear") to take out a Super Mutant ran drug lab, ran by a guy named Baby Face. The lab in question was set up in some old warehouse. The Lady wants to scope out the place and do some stealthy infiltration, and the rest of the party initially wants to go with this plan, but Knight notices an old loading ramp next to the building, conveniently pointed at the 1st floor window. So, obviously, we all get into the bus and hold on to our dear lives. The bus goes through the window, and lands smack dab in the middle of the lab we were looking for. (it also lands straight on two mutants, taking 'em out.) The party pours out of the bus - Knight coolly walks down the steps, slamming the drum mag into his Thompson he got off the gangsters from the last story, Batman charges out, Red jumps through the window, dodging gunfire, and Steve the Super Mutant doctor calmly walks out the back, holding his sledgehammer. And Lady? See, a while ago we were given an old, rickety van to car bomb a BoS checkpoint. (we did that, too. Hey, they were assholes, and a thousand caps and a discount at a shop ain't nothin' to scoff at, especially since you get to see a fireball too!), and Lady found a Cat's Paw (porn) mag inside. So, while we're all busy making bullet-sized holes in the remaining mutants, she's just hanging out inside the bus, out of sight and out of mind. Then, her round comes, and this timeless exchange happens: DM: Lady, are you going to spend your combat turn reading pornography? Lady: Yes She spent the entire combat sequence in there. To be honest, the last time she tried something, she got a faceful of wooden Thompson stock and spent the entire combat unconcious. The big bad... oh Situation: A few sessions after the last story, we're finally about to take out Baby Face, the mutant boss. Also, we loot the mutants' armory ("I like how the thing we were there for is just a side note to more dakka" "everything we ever do is just a side note to more dakka"), and Knight has, sadly as it's about to turn out, gotten ahold of an M79 grenade launcher. His Big Guns skill is only 10, so it was kind of obvious in hindsight. What was obvious? Well, we kick the door to Baby Face's office in, and Knight wants to open up with a well placed 40mm grenade, but... GM: Rolling against big guns GM: 100 Red Allen: or would if you didn't have 12 BG GM: WOO GM: NOW YOU hosed UP Knight: is high good or bad GM: NOW YOU hosed UP Knight: bad? GM: YOU HAVE hosed UP NOW GM: CRIT FAIL The Goddamn Batman: oh god Red Allen: nice loving job there, wonder what will go wrong and how GM: ROLLING AGAINST THE TABLE The Goddamn Batman: brule help me Red Allen:  Knight: misfire and we all explode GM: 6 The Goddamn Batman: patch me up quick doc! GM: HIT SOMEONE ELSE The Goddamn Batman: OH GOD Red Allen: please no GM: AND YOURE IN A CLUSTER GM: OH GOD Red Allen: noo The Goddamn Batman: Oh jesus Red Allen: jesus Knight: So, Batman takes 1d12+22 damage He only had 15 HP. RIP Batman. Next up, my turn! Me: Red Allen yells a line from a bad Vietnam action movie and opens up on Baby Face's face with his newly obtained shotty I roll a 2. Critical hit. GM rolls on the crit hit table. Rolls instant kill. "This is for my friend, you fucker." Batman: The Ghost of Bruce Wayne looks down on his former party members and smiles with a twinkle in his eye.  Sweet irradiated hellhole, Chicago Situation: we get another mission from the Enclave - this time, we're supposed to blow up a warehouse full of stimpaks contained with the FEV virus. (nasty, nasty stuff. Either kills you in an incredibly painful way, or turns you into a Super Mutant and makes you retarded unless you're really, really lucky). We got a working bomber plane from the last session, and it's loaded to the brim with mini nuke bombs, so we decide to just drop one on the warehouse and be done with it. So, we get into position, and as we're over the warehouse, Knight (who got a promotion from driver to pilot) pushes the bomb release. Only he fails the check. And drops all the nukes instead of one. Half of Chicago turns into an irradiated hellhole (again). Oops. To make the matters worse, we've also got two Enclave vertibirds (basically a bastard child of an Osprey and a helicopter) on our rear end. Not good. We try to bullshit our way out of this one, but obviously we gently caress this up. So, Suzie, our resident psychic, empties a 20mm cannon into the cockpit of the first Vertibird, setting it on fire. Red mans a .50 and empties it into the second one, scoring a crit and making it crash into the burning one, taking them both down. Now, obviously, we get the hell out of Dodge. The GM tells us that the bomber has the engine replaced with a small reactor, with enough juice to get us to Hawaii, to play his next campaign. We do so. And that's how we managed to end a campaign in the most tabletop RPG way possible: murdering tons of people and making an enemy of a powerful organization. cis_eraser_420 fucked around with this message at 14:13 on Mar 1, 2013 |
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Mar 1, 2013 12:53
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SpaceYeti posted:The next one is one of my favorite traps ever, and I try to work one into ever campaign, if not every "dungeon". I call it the "Rock on a rope" trap. Basically, a stick or something is propped against the backside of a door, holding up a rock, or brick, or hammer, or whatever, which is attached to a rope or chain or whatever which is attached to the door frame. Opening the door moves the stick or whatever and causes the rock or whatever to swing towards whoever opened the door. It's a cheap trap, and one easy to avoid or notice beforehand, but good old Bob didn't even bother looking for a trap. He just swung the door open and got a face full of rock. This is also extra funny because he had a pretty good reflex defense. It's almost as though my dice like to punish characters who are good at certain things, but he could have also avoided the trap by looking for it, like most traps he fell for. Let me guess; your group now compulsively checks for traps in every possible encounter, including benign ones, throws kobolds down a hallway, and generally takes an hour to do things that should take a minute. quote:Another time the group was in a dungeon that had undead in it. They made their way to a room with two hallways in the back corners. The hallways gently sloped downward. I'm not sure why, but the players decided there was a trap in the hallways. I can't imagine why.  quote:Incidentally, they were correct. Perhaps they knew me.  I get the feeling that you're going to reply with "This post had explosive runes! You take 10 damage!"
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Mar 1, 2013 14:02
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Volmarias posted:Let me guess; your group now compulsively checks for traps in every possible encounter, including benign ones, throws kobolds down a hallway, and generally takes an hour to do things that should take a minute. Nope. I left CO, so I can't play with that group any more. They were getting better about checking for traps and then bypassing or disabling them instead of just jumping in headlong, though. quote:I can't imagine why. Yes, because a year long campaign from which I recounted four traps, one of which wasn't as much a trap as it was an obstacle, means I create no dungeon without horrible death blender traps around every passage corner. Also, try 23 damage! HaHA!! Anyway; On another occasion, with a different group of which the consistency is mostly irrelevant except for one; The LG pally who was trying to impress the naive, elven youth, "Holy One" of his same God (and who her beauty was part of why the elves held her in such high esteem, hence the player actually caring)(Also, she's the NPC "grumble" healbot they hired). Anyway, he walks around this 15 by 15 foot room at the end of a hallway, with the door on the far side. I don't know why, but he was chosen to search this room for traps (maybe because the rogue rolled so many 1s before). He ignores the square in the very middle of the room, the one everyone else apparently presumed the trap would actually be in if there were a trap. The only way he could have worded his actions any more clearly would be to say "I search every square in the room except the one in the middle. I generally just let the group say they search a room and roll one roll, but he was specific about the walls and the squares right next to them. His specificity is why we think he also suspected a trap there. So he tells the Fighter that it's k, go ahead and charge the door we can't get unlocked. Fighter hits the trap door, falls onto poisoned spikes, and winds up at half HPs and poisoned in the most painful trap in the entire dungeon, which was also the easiest to find, but the pally didn't even look for one there. That's not the funny part. The funny part is that, with the "Holy One", the most prettiest elf what ever prettied in pretty-town, who this guy was trying to impress/mentor, right beside him, the pally bursts into a roaring laughter during that moment when everyone else is looking down at the pitiful state the Fighter was in, concerned over whether he would even be alive in the next minute or so. After then, she sort of ignored his status in their Holy Order and just thought of him as the jerk in the group... which he was.
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Mar 1, 2013 20:37
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DivineCoffeeBinge posted:This is a beautiful story and needs to happen more often. That's just awesome. Just wondering mate, how is the star wars story going?
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Mar 2, 2013 01:38
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So I ran a semi-one-shot for Eclipse Phase today. I use "semi" because I'm starting a campaign soon and this game foreshadowed what's to come. I also tried to gauge my players's interest in how I was running the game to see if I had to change anything or if they were interested in the genre. I also made a serious effort to flesh out the environment the players were in as much as possible (Eclipse Phase has amazing flavour text, but my players don't tend to read it  ). I also did something that I've neglected in my other Eclipse phase games; the players have a muse (a personal AI to assist them in their everyday transhuman life) and I played them as NPCs, occasionally making their input important, but giving the players a much more solid grasp of how their muse acted.Anyways. The highlight of the session. I ran an enemy from the Farcast blog; a Seedless with pretty amazing psychic capabilities. One of the character's muses succumbed to a basilisk hack from the plant. The reveal was something like this -  Sir, perhaps you should move away from the gigantic flesh-plant. That's a pretty good idea, Larry [Player begins moving away from the tree-entity] Actually, sir, I really think it doesn't matter. You know he is coming, right? Wait what? Who? ZAAAAALGOOOOSadly "Zalgo" never really appeared (I should have written him in there somewhere) but the Seedless actually took a dump on the players, so it was probably for the best. Fortunately there are more games to come.
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Mar 2, 2013 06:34
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Bassetking posted:Bucket was a simple soul. Since I'd been told by the DM that he'd be rolling my ability scores for me, I had a wisdom of 10, a charisma of 11, and an intelligence of 8. Bucket had his druidic glade, some simple river-stones which could be used to work wood and stone as basic crafts, a brown robe, and a hat. It was dirty, and it smelled like mulch, but it was his hat, and he cared for it quite deeply. I know this post was forever ago, but you willingly played a Druid with a 10 Wis? You didn't call BS on it and roll up a Wizard? I mean, if he simply told you what kind of character to play, okay, I could deal with that, I guess, if I were desperate, but a character that can barely even do the things it do?! That's just silly, and mean on the DM's part! It's like making someone play a Fighter who's not allowed to use anything besides his fists. You gamed with these guys for 4 more years?! I'm so sorry! This is the worst story I've read in this thread so far, or which I've personally heard of or been part of. It's downright bad. Nothing good about it.
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Mar 3, 2013 11:52
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Do not talk poo poo about the PunchFighter. The PunchFighter will beat the crap out of you. With his bare hands.
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Mar 3, 2013 12:07
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No, Punchfighter will get pulverized by my TwohandedreachweaponBarbarian.
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Mar 3, 2013 13:16
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Going M;TG for a moment, let me tell you about one of my favorite decks ever. It was a green/red, back in the late nineties. My friends and I would play Magic just about every lunch period in high school. I was kind of broke, so generally had the least good decks, since I couldn't afford the same volume of cards others of my friends could. Due to this, I lost more often than I won. I didn't care, really, but I got this idea from losing so much. My friends and I played big melee style, so everyone played their deck and attacked anyone else playing, etc. So we start playing, one dude has his white deck, we have a black deck over there, and maybe another green, whatever. I note... no blue decks. Good. So a few rounds in, I finally get my combo in hand. I tap some forests, and cast (I can't remember the names of the cards) Whatever Amount of Life I Pay, That Life is Mana, Now. ("Channel", I think? http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?printed=true&multiverseid=2203). I then tapped all my lands and payed all my life but 1, and cast Hurricane (http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?printed=true&multiverseid=2218), which has the casting cost of XF. So one Forest goes into it's casting, the rest X. X deals damage to all flying creatures and all players. Total damage; 24 (to be safe). Everybody loses! SpaceYeti fucked around with this message at 14:14 on Mar 3, 2013 |
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Mar 3, 2013 14:09
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SpaceYeti posted:Yes, because a year long campaign from which I recounted four traps, one of which wasn't as much a trap as it was an obstacle, means I create no dungeon without horrible death blender traps around every passage corner.  " which is boring as poo poo. Did your PCs do anything actually notable, or is "you fall in a pit with 2d4 lovely things in it" the height of gaming for you?
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Mar 3, 2013 14:16
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But when the paladin was meticulously describing how he checked every part of the room he DELIBERATELY IGNORED the floor! What else was I to do but to cause a TPK?
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Mar 3, 2013 14:35
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Yawgmoth posted:Your traps all amount to "you didn't say you were checking for traps in every room, you fall in a pit! take damage! How this particular character threw caution to the wind and, because of that topped with bad rolls, generally discovered traps by setting them off the bad way is, in fact, funny to me (as it was to the group). That it accumulated with the group expecting it, and even joining Bob in one of the traps, was very entertaining to me, sure. I'm sorry that including traps in a game makes me a bad GM or whatever, but you're not playing in my games anyway. If my stories don't amuse you, as I don't expect them to amuse everyone (or even most), then fine. I am a bit curious how you can judge a person's entire gaming style by several posts of stories they found funny. Did I offend you, somehow? Are we going to actually discuss something, here, or can we drop this derailment?
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Mar 3, 2013 15:08
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SpaceYeti posted:How this particular character threw caution to the wind and, because of that topped with bad rolls, generally discovered traps by setting them off the bad way is, in fact, funny to me (as it was to the group). That it accumulated with the group expecting it, and even joining Bob in one of the traps, was very entertaining to me, sure. I'm sorry that including traps in a game makes me a bad GM or whatever, but you're not playing in my games anyway. If my stories don't amuse you, as I don't expect them to amuse everyone (or even most), then fine. I am a bit curious how you can judge a person's entire gaming style by several posts of stories they found funny. Did I offend you, somehow? Are we going to actually discuss something, here, or can we drop this derailment? SpaceYeti posted:Going M;TG for a moment, let me tell you about one of my favorite decks ever. Here's a story of an MTG game I won through mass destruction that was actually somewhat entertaining, both because I won through no direct action of my own and because it involved more than Channel+X spell. Huge 8-9 player game, we were playing at a conference table at the university center we got every week as a student group. I'm playing my pestilence deck and getting screwed for draws, sitting on a handful of white/4+ CC spells and 3 swamps. I finally draw a plains, drop a disciple of grace. Next turn, drop a Worship. People are largely not watching me because this is turn 12 or so and there are bigger fish to fry, like the guy rocking a reanimator deck with dragons, or the guy with the wall of 1/1 rat tokens (this is important). I drop Last Laugh, but no one really considers it because the game is in that "if I attack, someone else kills me" deadlock that huge free-for-all games tend to get in. A few turns pass, and goblin guy gets his combo of pump spell/damage doubler/Fling. And he flings a goblin straight at the reanimator guy's head... which triggers Last Laugh. Which kills all 20 of rat guy's rats. Which kills everything else in play, doing a total of about 50 damage to everyone's face. 50 damage from a black source, which means that DoG lives, keeping me alive via Worship. Goblin player chuckles and says "oh, whoops!" (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Mar 3, 2013 15:37
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Yawgmoth posted:I don't like your face and we do not share senses of humor Okay. quote:Here's a story of an MTG game I won through mass destruction that was actually somewhat entertaining, blah blah I fail to see what makes that more entertaining than there being no winner. At any rate, okay. I'm done conversing with you about this off-subject thing. Okay, you don't like my stories. Good for you. If you see me post in the future, you know to skip over that one.
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Mar 3, 2013 15:48
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SpaceYeti posted:I fail to see what makes that more entertaining than there being no winner. At any rate, okay. I'm done conversing with you about this off-subject thing. Okay, you don't like my stories. Good for you. If you see me post in the future, you know to skip over that one.
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Mar 3, 2013 16:53
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Error 404 posted:"My name is Mr. Concern, and you are none of mine." Obligatory.
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Mar 3, 2013 17:49
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I honestly can't tell if this is an elaborate parody or not.
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Mar 3, 2013 18:30
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That's amusing. A sort of similar MTG story. I have friends who like large games. The problem is that the people who really like large games, don't really like playing. They want to interact as much as a proper combo deck (IE, not at all). They want to be left alone to achieve their large, ineffecient combos and their silly win conditions, (Near Death Experience (Which makes you win if you start your turn controlling it and having EXACTLY 1 life.) and the like). I enjoy large games, but don't enjoy the pissy way they get if their decks don't start working because they've been attacked by someone having the fuckmothering gall to attack in a free for all. So I convinced them to start playing Emperor. (if you know the rules, you can skip this) Emperor is a ruleset for MtG for two (or more) teams of three (or more, but this tends to be a clusterfuck) to play against each other. One person on each team is the Emperor, and every other player is a general. A team must defeat all opponent Emperors to win. The interesting thing is "Range of Influence", a mechanic which limits how much you can affect the battlefield. Default rules (assuming two teams of three), puts the Emperor at 2 and the generals at 1, the range being the number of seat to your left and right you can affect. So Generals can affect players sitting to their immediate right and immediate left, meaning they can (initially) only interact with their own Emperor and opponent General, (as well as their own things). This means that they have to defeat their opponent General to even think of attacking the enemy Emperor. The other players not within their range don't exist to them. Emperors can affect two seats, so they can interact with everyone but the enemy Emperor. Because you have to defeat atleast one person before the game can end. However the initial turn structure, which would go something like 'Team 1 Emperor, Team 2 Emperor, Team 1 General A, Team 2 General A, Team 1 General B, Team 2 General B' would take an extremely long time, leaving people to get easily, easily distracted and bored. So we talked it over, and decided to make each friendly general 'share' a turn like in 2HG, which also encouraged team work and organization on the parts of everyone involved, and by cutting out two 'turns', helped limit certain cards like [urlhttp://magiccards.info/query?q=seedborn+Muse]Seedborn Muse[/url] from becoming broke as gently caress. As we're bouncing around different decks and teams, I end up being Emperor (we were determining teams/seats with dice rolls, usually), and am debating what sort of deck to play, since most of my decks at the time were rather aggressive and ill-suited to the Emperor's seat. When I remembered I had a turbo-fog deck. TurboFog is a deck that intends to make the game move faster, by having everyone draw additional cards, while slowing down your opponents by loading your hand with fog effects (which prevent all combat damage for one turn), so they can't actually beat you down. Then you win by either making your opponent lose by draw out (having draw a card but no card to draw == game loss) or by smacking them in the head with a shitload of 4/4 Angels from Luminarch Ascension. It's your choice. So we start playing. The rules mean that everyone except the opponent Emperor is drawing extra cards (since he is out of my range of influence), which helps us more than them. More than that, since the generals are on the same turn, my Fogs cancel out both of their attacks. Which leaves my generals free to attack with impunity and leave themselves open to attack, since they actually can't be attacked. Which soon allows us to steam roll over our enemies and win with extreme prejudice while making the other team somewhat upset with us. Which is also why we keep our teams random for the most part, and also why I keep my turbofog deck constantly changing and evolving to win in fun, new ways.
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Mar 3, 2013 19:05
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SpookyLizard posted:Turbofog
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Mar 3, 2013 19:10
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Colon V posted:Isn't playing Turbofog in Emperor kind of like playing Sliver Queen general in EDH? Not technically illegal, just super dickish?
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Mar 3, 2013 19:17
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SpookyLizard posted:Playing turbofog is always Super Dickish. In Duel of the Planeswalkers 2013, there are a couple of 'event fights' against decks that have fixed AIs and draw orders, they also don't have to adhere to deck construction rules. Seems I misremembered, it's only got islands, howling mine, Fog bank (a 0/2 flying wall that neither deals nor recieves combat damage) and Dissipates to counter anything that would actually pose a threat while it whittles away your deck and you discard everything at your end phase. Yes it is amazingly dickish. Kurieg fucked around with this message at 19:33 on Mar 3, 2013 |
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Mar 3, 2013 19:27
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Man, all these M:tG stories remind me of when I played, way way way back in the day (like, the last expansion I bought was.... Fallen Empires? I think? Or the Dark. One of those). I've not followed the game in years, but what little I do know tells me that the sort of poo poo I used to pull would be simply impossible today. Probably my best deck was a 60 card tournament-legal Captain America deck - red, white, and blue. White was nothing but Alabaster Potions and Healing Salves to give me life; blue was nothing but counterspells of various flavors; red was nothing but direct damage. No creatures, the only artifacts were a couple of Moxes and a Sol Ring and an Orb of Chaos (because I always used the Orb of Chaos) and I think maybe a Mana Prism, then a buncha dual lands to give me mana flexibility. I never lost a game with that deck. Pretty sure it would never work today.
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Mar 3, 2013 20:41
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You Don't Need All Those Limbs, Do You? I used to game with a DM who loved nothing more than ripping limbs off of PCs. Just to clarify, these were not throwaway characters – character creation was not fast, we got extra credit for making backstories and character portraits and such, and the DM kept insisting that we weren't roleplaying enough. I joined with the understanding that I was going to replace an existing character via bodyswap shenanigans (the guy was leaving the group), so I made my character a body-possessing ghost (backstory and flufftext only, no non-plot powers). I played a dumb, friendly paladin, since I love heal-tanks. The guy I was supposed to replace decided he could keep gaming after all, and I wound up possessing the body of a fox. The fox was pretty cute, and we weren't involved in combat for a while, so I went with it once the stopgap DM assured me I'd be getting a real body soon. After a couple of sessions, the person who was DMing at the time decided that she wanted to play again and let the main DM take over, so there was a bodyswap shuffle. In the last session she DMed, the stopgap DM got her old character back, and the guy who had been ghost-occupying her body and tanking in her absence got evicted and started growing a crystalline body (so he could jump into play immediately without waiting for a host). Now it was the limb-mangling DM's turn. This DM really, really liked people getting forced into substitute bodies with abilities the players had no control over (he did it several more times over the course of the campaign) instead of just using this as a springboard to get everyone's characters settled. I did not get a real body, and wound up fighting with a d4 bite attack and half the hit points I should have had as a level 9 melee tank. And as a tiny fox  , not a fox-person or anything. The crystal guy wound up growing his crystal body excruciatingly slowly, so he spent several sessions doing absolutely nothing but walking around as a  . I'm not joking – he had no attacks and no ability to talk. This was some bullshit, but I liked the rest of the group, I figured this crap story arc would end soon, and I didn't want to rock the boat and demand poo poo as a newbie. Then we got to the first battle. The DM had a chart of horrible things that happened on fumbles and crits. He also had a die with body parts written on it. This die was used to determine which body part got ripped off when a monster had "rip off limbs" as an attack. As you may have guessed, none of the party's attacks ripped off limbs, and almost everything the DM threw at us ripped off limbs. In the first battle I saw, the blaster caster  got hit by whatever tentacle/lobster claw monster the DM got out of the limb-mangling section of the Monster Manual, and the DM rolled his favorite die to see what body part got sliced off. The die landed on "torso." got snipped in half, right through the middle. The attack hadn't done anywhere near enough damage to kill him, so we finished the fight without much problem, but the DM was an rear end in a top hat about what sort of healing magic it would take to put him back together – a simple "Cure loving Everything" hit point restore was not enough to appease him; we needed a goddamn ritual to glue the guy back together excruciatingly slowly (I'm not sure the ritual we used was meant for regeneration, but we didn't have anything else, and our party abused the fluff text on our abilities in order to stay in one piece around this DM). Fine. After enough song and dance, we got him fixed up, and continued our game.A few sessions later, our DM, being a huge fan of "use this chart to determine what random magical effect you can inflict on the characters", managed to make the illusionist  sprout two extra arms and an extra leg. Of course, this wasn't something that could actually benefit the character. This was something that required an entire session of repeatedly failed skill checks to stop the uncontrollable thrashing and figure out how to walk again. I was still a , although I had now sprouted chicken feathers and was uncontrollably making GBS threads eggs (did I mention that he loved magical items with random useless effects?). managed to grow arms and a head at last, though his ability to heal from injuries was severely limited - not good for a melee tank.Then we got to our next big battle. Another set of limb-mangling monsters, these with the wonderful effect of "you don't get your limb back, it has been shredded like it's in a garbage disposal, and normal healing magic doesn't replace the limb". And of course he ruled that the ritual we used before would only graft pieces together, not regrow mangled limbs. Over the course of that battle, our party collectively lost five limbs: lost a front leg and a back leg, lost both arms (and abandoned the body in disgust when he realized the DM was going to make him run around armless and unable to use weapons because "crystal can't heal"), and with all the extra limbs lost one arm.Stay tuned for You Wake Up With A Boner, The Railroad That Smelled Like Farts, This Is Not Party Town, and The Final gently caress You. Minutia fucked around with this message at 02:27 on Mar 4, 2013 |
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Mar 3, 2013 22:12
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Minutia posted:Stay tuned for You Wake Up With A Boner, The Railroad That Smelled Like Farts, This Is Not Party Town, and The Final gently caress You. Its the loving "wizzard" all over again, I can just bet he was getting off on this.
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Mar 3, 2013 22:26
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DivineCoffeeBinge posted:Man, all these M:tG stories remind me of when I played, way way way back in the day (like, the last expansion I bought was.... Fallen Empires? I think? Or the Dark. One of those). I've not followed the game in years, but what little I do know tells me that the sort of poo poo I used to pull would be simply impossible today. You wouldnt, because there are much scarier things to play in White. American control/Miracles was pretty popular, but I'm not sure how much Gatecrash has changed standard play. (Miracle spells are spells that have an alternate, much, much cheaper cost you can play, but you can pay that cost as you draw the card [i] if it is the first card you've drawn this turn. They're all loving nuts.
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Mar 3, 2013 23:06
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I was playing 40k yesterday and the new chaos codex has some sort of mutation thing for chaos champs and characters when they win a challenge. The chaos player had my hive tyrant and a tyranid prime with boneswords fighting his chaos character. He got in a challenge with my prime so my tyrant couldn't fight him, wins and transforms into a daemon prince. He then turns around and kills my tyrant next turn before he can attack. In the course of two turns over 25% of my points were gone. Then my crappy 5 point models (the tyrant was 285 points for comparison) killed the daemon during my next shooting phase. In the same game I managed to keep his jet packing close combat daemons locked in combat for 8 assault phases by throwing about 80 more of those crappy models into the combat over 4 turns. We both agreed it was a hilarious game because of that and our amazingly terrible rolls. Another game I was in was against imperial guard and on the last turn I had a hive tyrant and and a carnifex left while he had 4 tanks with all weapons destroyed left and, after his turn the game was over. We were tied for kill points so if anything of mine died that turn the other guy won. We agreed to try and make it fun so his vehicles tank shocked (basically rammed into) my monsters. When this happens I get to try dodging or land one melee attack and if I don't stun, immobilize or destroy the vehicle my character dies instantly, no armor saves allowed. His first vehicle died, putting me one point ahead and now he needed both monsters dead. The next tank immobilized when my carnifex smacked it, so he needed both remaining tanks to succeed. First my tyrant rolled just short of saving itself and went splat. Now my carnifex is facing the last tank and we're tied. The carnifex chose to take his attack and try to win the game. I roll snake eyes, still enough to penetrate the tank's armor and I roll the damage table: a one again, crew shaken but not stunned. This does not stop the tank, my carnifex turns into a bloody streak and he wins. That was a fun enough game itself but we kidded around that he should make a small trophy for his commander after such a good battle and he says "I've got an idea!". Next week he pulls out the tank that won the game for him and I just cracked up. He had converted a few of my army's smaller parts and put fragments of it all over the front of the tank along with some blood streaks and the treads had blood all over them. We call it "the emperor's battering ram" now and I always run away from it because that tank's a beast. mmj fucked around with this message at 23:36 on Mar 3, 2013 |
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Mar 3, 2013 23:33
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I just finished up a 3rd edition shadowrun campaign which had many delightfully bloody and absurd moments, as well as some lovely RPing and generally awful moments. My personal favorite of the awful moments is "The Ballad of Danny the Truck Driving Tranny" (I should have stopped him right there, at the mention of 'tranny'. oh well) Danny was a male-to-female pre-op transsexual that happened upon the party and found herself put to work driving the party around, picking up supplies for their gang empire, and generally having a good ol' time with his cyber-squirt enhanced penis. Normally I think Danny would've annoyed the gently caress out of me as a GM, but somehow I couldn't help but love pushing Danny down a downward spiral of self-destruction. You see, Danny's hobby involved binding, torturing, and killing people on camera. Being the worst paid member of the gang, Danny one day decided that it was time to monetize his serial killing and sell some discs at a black market in Redmond. Needless to say, Danny gets exactly one customer all day- a young Italian man checks out the video, loves the brutality of it, and offers to make a production deal with Danny from one snuff film fan to another. Danny is offended by the idea of selling out to some smug little poo poo since, after all, his killing isn't merely entertainment, it's true art! So Danny murders the man. The market guards descend, and by chance the party's troll adept notices and comes to help Danny, unaware of the utter insanity Danny has unleashed on the world. He rips a guard's head off and escapes with Danny. Unbeknown to Danny, he had just murdered the spoiled sociopathic nephew of a mid-level mob manager. A 25,000 nuyen each bounty is placed on Danny and the troll, John Fink, which filters down to the cyber-samurai of the group with mob contacts. At this point the party is beginning to realize that Danny is unpredictable and a danger to the group's security. They discuss it in private and come to a decision- they decide to sell Danny out to the mob and keep John the troll, one of his two friends in the world, out of the loop while they turn him in. The cybersam gives Danny a mission and payment upfront to make a delivery with his truck. Danny parks somewhere in the Redmond barrens where a squad of mafia enforcers lie in wait with the rest of the party. Danny makes a ridiculously lucky perception check and realizes he's just parked in the middle of an ambush. He puts the truck into gear and begins his escape. The cybersam, hoping to impress the mafia, shoots Danny's truck. The truck catches on fire and careens out of control - at this point the troll mage feels a pang of guilt and attempts to save Danny by entombing him in a physical barrier - this backfires horribly as Danny attempts to jump from the cab of the truck, bounces off the physical barrier, slams into a concrete wall without the benefit of an airbag, breaks his neck, and dies. Oops! Meanwhile, John Fink is out boozing it up at a trolls-only bar since it's his day off. Too stupid to understand the concept of security cameras capturing his face, John falls for a honey pot trap of two sexy troll women, out for the 25,000 nuyen reward. They take him home for a threeway, hit him with an oral narcojet implant. He falls asleep. As a 3rd edition GM with the rare opportunity to really gently caress with a troll adept (god-drat they are truly ridiculous builds) I decided to take his most prized possession - his manhood. The man-hating lesbian assassins cut it off and send him to the Mob boss, who continues to torture him until at last the party tracks him down and saves him, making their organization an enemy of the Italian mob in Seattle. I hadn't planned on this and hoped they would just leave him to die, but I guess a lazy sociopath RPing troll they could control was better than not having a walking tank. He was never the same after that. The player that played Danny never played with us again. He took it personally, I suppose. Such is the life and karma of an imaginary psychopath RPed by a lazy and unimaginative player. I was happy to splatter his head into a wall. Zarikov fucked around with this message at 03:49 on Mar 4, 2013 |
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Mar 4, 2013 00:43
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I honestly can't tell if that's supposed to be "good", "bad", or "cat piss". 
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Mar 4, 2013 02:01
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