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JohnOfOrdo3 posted:Cliff notes version is I was taken in by Kry who used hypnosis to make me suggestible and then made me dependant on her, from there she molded me into someone that believed her crazy poo poo, more then that want to believe it because I felt like I had purpose and acceptance there. I guess sorta like a cult brainwashing you. Call me a terrible person, but I am not sure if her suicide would really make things worse at that point. I am very glad that you are out of her reach now. And you said she eventually got better, right? Please let us know how you managed to leave her and/or how she somehow "improves".
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Mar 2, 2013 11:26
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I haven't left her but I managed to go through enough poo poo that she doesn't have any more to throw at me? Although recently she's been having children be molested by demons or hexed to loose their memory and become slaves. I am now experienced enough to put a stop to that poo poo when it happens (And realise it's not real and she's doing it for attention because she's too boring to hold anyones attention for long otherwise) but for the most part I don't get involved anymore. Writing things down in this thread is helping me develop something of a backbone, as is someone else involved in this whole lovely mess (A real person this time  )It's not so much that her killing herself would be sad and terrible. It's more the knowledge that I would have caused it and I'm not sure if I could live with that idea or not. Then I think of her parents and friends and her fiance (Yeah I don't know how she did that either, weirdly enough she never mentions Spirit-Side to him incase he thinks she's crazy  ) and realise they don't deserve that kind of guilt either.
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Mar 2, 2013 11:40
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JohnOfOrdo3 posted:It's not so much that her killing herself would be sad and terrible. It's more the knowledge that I would have caused it and I'm not sure if I could live with that idea or not. Then I think of her parents and friends and her fiance (Yeah I don't know how she did that either, weirdly enough she never mentions Spirit-Side to him incase he thinks she's crazy If you stop listening to her poo poo she'll whine and complain and threaten and pretend to kill herself online and if she still doesn't get your attention she'll go find someone else to give her attention instead. Really. You're in a classic abusive relationship there, even though it is a weird virtual one. Block her on everything and go spend your time and effort on having a better life.
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Mar 2, 2013 14:43
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JohnOfOrdo3: This kind of poo poo is similar to what my incredibly abusive ex, Brian, did to me at times. I've already detailed him here in this thread. This person is absolutely not worth your time. You may have known them for a long time, you may feel sympathy for her because you're a decent human being; However, sensible human beings only take that so far. Think of what she has done to you. You are vividly describing PTSD because of how strongly she manipulated you over some asterisks and fictional people. She has not 'gotten better,' you said so yourself she still tries to get her hooks into you by talking about fictional children being raped and abused. Whether or not you respond to that differently now is moot. She still thinks that not only is that an acceptable way to gain control over you, but that gaining control over you in the first place is acceptable and desirable. Her actions were lovely, they still are, and so are her intentions. Whether or not she gets better in the future is not your responsibility, nor is it your responsibility to 'keep her from suicide.' She is a grown-rear end human being who has others to reach out to -- you mentioned parents and friends. You have more than enough poo poo to deal with without her clutching onto you. I guarantee you that part of the reason she isn't hitting rock bottom and getting help for her problems is because you are enabling her in some ways. Sever. You will be so much happier. In the nicest possible way, please wake up. This is not a rough patch. It won't get better. She is not a valuable friend. Get rid. 
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Mar 2, 2013 16:17
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I'm glad to see uglynoodles has not abandoned the thread, and I'm hoping that there are more stories about Denise... I'm also not gonna comment on anything JohnOfOrdo3 has said, because I can't relate to that situation so don't feel it's my place. But I do hope you take some of the advice given, and that things get better.
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Mar 2, 2013 17:25
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Thank you all for your advise and support. Your comments made me feel ashamed and embarrassed that I'd... Well I'd acted like I had. But that's a good thing because if I'm embarrassed then I'm clearly acting in the wrong. So you're right. You're all 100% correct. I do need to end this, I've known for a while that I needed to end it. But I've been putting it off, I didn't want the trouble or the fall out. Also I think we've established by now that I'm an idiot, so that's probably contributing to it. Once I get back from work I'll get in contact with a friend for emotional support/to make sure I go through with it, brain storm what I want to say and then take the plunge. I'll let you know how it goes.
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Mar 2, 2013 17:50
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JohnOfOrdo3 posted:Thank you all for your advise and support. First off, you're not an idiot. If you are, so is everybody else in this thread. If a person is manipulative, and gets off on tormenting you, you aren't the bad person. Good luck!
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Mar 2, 2013 18:22
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Brain storm on what to say? Unless you know her in real life at all, there's no need to say anything. The easiest way to avoid fall out is to just block her on every way she can contact you. Don't tell her, that will just cause drama and more threats and pretending. She doesn't really even deserve to be told. Just bam, disappear from her life.
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Mar 2, 2013 18:35
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If it were me I wouldn't even say anything else to her. Block her on everything, don't give her a chance to hook you back in. You don't owe her an explanation after all that.
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Mar 2, 2013 19:14
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^^^^ I'm going to go against these two people for one reason, and one reason only: It may start you on the habit of dealing with your problems that way. Leaving a bad job? Just walk away, sever, don't ever come back. It's not a good way to handle most things. That said, if you don't think you have that problem, yeah, just sever. You owe her nothing. It may, however, be worth it for you to send a resignation letter of sorts or something. Then block her. Immediately. Don't even have to wait for a reply.
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Mar 2, 2013 21:05
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Maybe he should head over to E/N's Lushka16s breakup thread
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Mar 2, 2013 21:51
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JohnOfOrdo3 posted:Thank you all for your advise and support. You don't deserve this, and making a poor decision does not excuse the way this person has treated you. You have nothing to be ashamed about, just get out of this situation.
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Mar 2, 2013 21:53
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I would not even send her anything, because that gives her something to respond to. Just quit her, cold turkey. Block every way she can get ahold of you. Make a resolution so any time you have the urge to check on her you do something else instead.
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Mar 3, 2013 03:23
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JohnOfOrdo3 posted:Thank you all for your advise and support. You owe absolutely nothing to her. You owe her nothing, so give her nothing. Quietly block her on all ways she can contact you. Messengers, e-mail, Skype, everything. Make new usernames if you have to. I repeat: DO NOT ENGAGE. I know you might think 'She deserves to know why,' and I understand that train of thought but it's not worth it. Block her, forget about her, learn to love life without her. If you knew her IRL that might be a bit different, but that's not the case here. The best thing about Internet communication is that when you've had enough, there is an 'off' button. For those wondering about Denise she's currently whining for $200 from her family and friends to support her getting a Wacom tablet and Manga Studio and Photoshop. I don't think she's familiar with the costs of any of these things or knows how to use them.
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Mar 3, 2013 03:45
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I can guarantee that the tablet will be used maybe twice before she realises it won't make her an amazing artist with no effort, and then it'll sit around gathering dust forever. JohnOfOrdo3: I've been in abusive relationships before and the abusers are very good at keeping you hooked in and making you think you need to stay with them, and that previous poo poo was your own fault etc. They don't do it because they are evil creeps deliberately plotting to wreck your brain, they do it because they are broken and miserable as poo poo and it's how they run relationships, and because they are prone to people wanting to get away, they've gotten very good at guilting people into staying. Sadly it means that they are poisonous as hell to be around. It isn't your fault you fell for their poo poo, but once you realise it is abusive, you gotta get away. I'd also recommend not giving her a chance to respond, because she WILL use every trick she has to rope you back in. Remember, she knows what works on you and she has no sense of shame.
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Mar 3, 2013 04:25
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Seriously, JohnofOrdo3, just gently caress that whole situation. Just get rid of her phone number, email, aim, whatever you're talking to this girl on. Go hang out with someone else, someone cool. If you still need e-buddies, there's tons of goon irc rooms filled with non-delusional-non-scummy people. (I mean, I'm sure some goon rooms are full of scum, too, but you get the point.)
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Mar 3, 2013 04:30
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Plus if you make a fuss your cell provider may let you change your number and waive the fee (which is only like $15 or so). A hassle but possibly worth it
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Mar 3, 2013 06:19
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If it hadn't so obviously affected you, I'd say that this would be a chance for catharsis. JohnOfOrdo3 died on the way back to his home planet. On a more serious note: If you do plan on telling her, get someone else to do the typing. Or at least have someone else in the room. Your brother, a friend, whoever. They can act as support and a buffer if need be. I've had to serve as the proxy typer twice now and it's worked well.
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Mar 3, 2013 10:08
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Captain Capacitor posted:If it hadn't so obviously affected you, I'd say that this would be a chance for catharsis. JohnOfOrdo3 died on the way back to his home planet. Tempting as that is, a total cutoff and refusal to engage is the way to go. If she does get through to you and threaten suicide, call 911, tell them she's threatening suicide and give them her details. A few blue lights showing up on her doorstep ought to embarrass her out of making stupid threats in the future. Or call her family/fiance ditto, if you don't want to waste the emergency services' time. Don't let ANYTHING make you talk to her.
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Mar 3, 2013 10:47
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I am hoping for the best here. Really I am. But if e/n has taught me anything, he will contact her. I know I said I wouldn't comment, but I can't help it... Please, JohnOfOrdo3, take the great advice given and sever. Prove that it can be done, prove that the Curse only applies to e/n and save our faith in humanity. Avoid the well-pissing. I'm rooting for you.
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Mar 3, 2013 16:12
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JohnofOrdo, upthread you talked about how helpless and horrified you were when you couldn't get past Majesty's barriers. Well, guess what? You just found the way to do so. You know how to beat him. Because there's one thing Majesty & Kry can't control completely. And that something is you. They can't tell you what to look at online, or where to go, or what to read. That's not in their power. But it is in yours. You don't even have to block her; all you have to do is not go where she is. Getting out of an abusive relationship is hard. You have a safe place to go, right? Of course you do. You have here. So tell Kry sorry, I've beaten Majesty and you because I'm not playing anymore. Then come here. Talk, as much as you want, read even more. Expect Kry to try to overwhelm your net life for a few days. Ignore her bs. If she plays the suicide card, call the cops. She isn't going to kill herself. All she wants is the attention. It's another way of controlling people. 'I can't get my way? I'll show you, I'll kill myself.' A visit from the cops will stop that poo poo dead. Who knows, she might even get some real help out of it.
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Mar 3, 2013 20:04
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Hey, JOO3. I was once in a relationship with someone almost this crazy. The ONLY thing you can do is immediately cut it off. One thousand percent, all the way, block her rear end from all media possible (I would even put your Skype/Aim/etc. on invisible/unsearchable to anyone not on your contacts list for a few weeks, at the very least.) You are hurting, and you are caring. She is aware of both of these things. This girl is obviously a master manipulator and will use these facts against you. This is like breaking a smoking habit, and the power of your mind is your Nicorette. When you think of her- even briefly, even in passing, even a memory- IMMEDIATELY think of something else. It helps to have a friend or loved one there to help you with this. It doesn't even matter what you think of; rank your favourite gum flavours! Think of cities you'd like to visit, and why! List your least favourite decorative plants! It sucks, and it is hard, but you seem like a good person and I want you to get through this quickly. The best balm is complete and utter isolation from this person. You do not need to worry about them, because they WILL find someone else to suck energy and attention from. People like that always do. Good luck. Kick some rear end.
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Mar 3, 2013 20:29
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bringmyfishback posted:Hey, JOO3. I was once in a relationship with someone almost this crazy. The ONLY thing you can do is immediately cut it off. One thousand percent, all the way, block her rear end from all media possible (I would even put your Skype/Aim/etc. on invisible/unsearchable to anyone not on your contacts list for a few weeks, at the very least.) Would that be Mumsie or have you suffered at the hands of some other crazy person as well?
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Mar 3, 2013 20:47
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Not to be disrespectful, but I think everybody has given all the advice needed, but at this point, what John does next is what John does next. I don't wanna see one of my favourite threads go into an E/N derail, I just want to read funny stories about weirdo people... Edited to add: I haven't written about the Paolo saga in a bit, so expect a new post of that soon. I have to remember where I left off in the chronology of events. CatStacking fucked around with this message at 22:52 on Mar 3, 2013 |
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Mar 3, 2013 22:48
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I think we have given our advice now. I feel confident in saying that I'm sure we would welcome any updates, but indeed let's not have this take it over. Denise has started a new DeviantArt for her commissions and the username is a horrible mishmash of the things she told us she is, proving that the fantasy hasn't gone away for her. She seems to spend all her time at anime cons these days. Brian lives in on the mainland now. He's still creepy, still wears the same jacket, and still sends me obsessed emails addressing me as anime characters. Hello Virgin Here has apparently moved on from the vastly older guy who let tons of rear end in a top hat druggie ravers into our house and has sort of calmed down as I am to understand. Not sure if I finished her stories but it seems she got better. Kat/La Fausse Tortue is in China.
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Mar 4, 2013 09:08
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Everyone have given the appropriate suggestions, so I will just wish John all the success in his endeavor. 
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Mar 4, 2013 10:22
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 I'm about seven pages in and wow. I admit to living in a dreamworld in elementary and middle school (fantasy novels, not animu. All Hail the pretty Talking White Horses!), but by high school I'd transfered most of my obsession to volunteering at my local zoo with the not-so-talking (but still pretty) birds of prey. Still geeky as hell in its own way, but at least I got outside and interacted with people and did interesting things.I like fandom stuff, but drat, it's just a hobby. Not my real life. I knew girls like that though, I don't have any good stories about them because I kept the gently caress away.
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Mar 4, 2013 11:37
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uglynoodles posted:I think we have given our advice now. I feel confident in saying that I'm sure we would welcome any updates, but indeed let's not have this take it over. I cannot be the only one imagining a typical "Where are they now?" slideshow while reading this.
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Mar 4, 2013 12:25
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Give our love to China Kat!  uglynoodles posted:Denise has started a new DeviantArt for her commissions and the username is a horrible mishmash of the things she told us she is, proving that the fantasy hasn't gone away for her. She seems to spend all her time at anime cons these days. Oh god. I have never regretted the invention of reverse image search more, because I really, really want to see pictures of her 'commissions'. And photos of her in the costume she wears to cons. Because I know that she has a costume, and I know that she puts photos of it on her horrible DA blog.
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Mar 4, 2013 14:24
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Corridor posted:Give our love to China Kat! And I wish I could show you. Some of her cosplay isn't horrendous. Some of it is actually pretty good if it weren't on her. It's what she spends all of her (and her Dad's) money on.
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Mar 4, 2013 15:02
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uglynoodles posted:And I wish I could show you. Honestly, if you posted it, I don't think the people in this thread would goon rush her. At least I don't think.  Someone would, wouldn't they? There's always at least one rear end in a top hat who ruins it for the rest of us. Hey, you could anonymously post some of her art in the weird Deviant Art thread in PYF. Like, post it with a few other DA images so no one knows which one is hers. But that sounds like work, so I don't know. E:spelling
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Mar 4, 2013 21:18
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DicktheCat posted:Honestly, if you posted it, I don't think the people in this thread would goon rush her. I'm as curious as you, but I'd definitely advise erring on the side of the Safari Rule - anything involving dA and SA usually ends up terrible; it might also lead Denise back to this thread, and she'll find UglyNoodles. Instead of stuff that might cause bad things to happen, we can just use the power of imagination! 
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Mar 4, 2013 21:29
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P.S. STILL COMPLETELY DEVOID OF MERIT
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DicktheCat posted:Honestly, if you posted it, I don't think the people in this thread would goon rush her. I want to see this so bad... I am willing to swear an unholy blood-oath to not goon-rush if you guys are... I know I know, safari rules. But have any of you actually been on a safari? God drat, you wanna get out there and pet yourself a lion... VVVVVVVVVVVVV Good show. I will drink a toast to you. sad salad tosser fucked around with this message at 02:22 on Mar 5, 2013 |
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Mar 5, 2013 02:03
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I should check this thread more often, wow that was a lot of responses. So I had the talk with Kry over e-mail. If only to see how she'd react to this news and to prove to myself I could do it. Told her I was going away on a trip and just might not come back. She was upset that I wanted to leave but apparently wouldn't stand in my way and mentioned that she was crying. For those who are curious, this is what follows (With me lying my rear end off because why the hell not at this point?): --- Me - I'm sorry Kry. I know this isn't how you wanted things, but if it makes you feel any better I'm not walking away hating you or heading for a mental asylum or cursing your name or any of that. I just need to concentrate on this life right now. We got through the war and I gave a lot to make sure we got here. So once you get through the tears, try to remember that we made it to a better place then you were two years ago and think we can be proud of that. Kry - I know... I'm... I'm not mad. I understand to an extent. As much as I can... It just doesn't make it any less of an abandonment. I do understand and won't try to change your mind. I'm just going to be sad... for a very long time Me - It's hardly abandonment Kry. But if that's the way you view it then I'm sorry. Kry - It is, but I understand why you need to do it. I don't hate you for it. However, it is abandonment. You are leaving. You may never come back. Me - Kry... you can't have it both ways. You can't say "You're not letting me be free to do what I want" and then turn around and say "If you don't look after me then it's abandonment" That's not how it works. I don't owe you anything Kry, you're a grown woman who has about twenty or so guardians in various bodies. Now if you were a child or I'd bailed during the Angle war or maybe when Majesty was about then yes, I'd say that would be abandonment. But they're dead. We killed them. The war is over and we won. Now I'm sure you yourself are fighting your own battles. But those are your battles. You have chosen not to involve me in them and some you sought out yourself because you miss the struggle. Guess what, I don't miss the struggle and nor do I relish battle or the worry and pain that comes with it. I've given far more then I should of. So please don't condescend/try to guilt trip me about abandoning you. Kry - I'm not doing any of those things. You are leaving you may not come back. i'm sad about it. I'm allowed to be sad. I'm not being a child. I'm not begging you to stay, but to me the fact you may not come back screams abandonment to me. I won't mention it again. That's how it feels to me. Go, do whayt you need and I'll feel how I feel. i hope you're journey goes well. Forget I asked anything --- And that's when I blocked her. So, all's well that ends well I guess. She's now blocked on as much stuff as I could find her on, I'm now free of her and she's likely crying to anyone that will listen about how much of a dick I am. Either way, thank you goons and goonettes for setting my head straight. I look forward to more crazy stories from you wonderful people. To those who told me to just block her and walk, that probably would have been the better option and I wish I'd read the thread after I'd left to do it so that would have occurred to me. Ah well.
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Mar 5, 2013 02:14
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JohnOfOrdo3 posted:I should check this thread more often, wow that was a lot of responses.  you did well. now you don't have to carry that unnecessary burden with you anymore 
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Mar 5, 2013 02:32
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At my last job I made friends with one of the volunteers who's now in his sophomore year of high school. He recently texted me to say he's got a friend that believes she's a vampire, and that "anyone who doesn't understand just has a low IQ." I replied with "Just be friendly and don't feed into the belief. She's doing it for attention, to be a unique special snowflake because she's clearly not a popular kid. If everyone can be friends without even mentioning it, she'll drop it as a stupid phase. She can learn to be smart without being condescending to others." I hope for that poor girl's sake I helped avert some sort of reinforcement-feedback loop where kids antagonize her into remaining a staunch vampire defender into her 20s and becoming the sort of weirdo we laugh at here.
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Mar 5, 2013 03:09
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Alright. John. First I wanna say- dude, glad you're outta that one. For serious. I am genuinely glad for you. But I have to ask this, and please don't think I'm just being an jerk here- Why didn't you just say "Look, I don't believe in your stupid bullshit. It's not real. Bye." ?? Maybe I'm an rear end in a top hat for thinking it's alright to say that to someone, but I'm okay with that. It's not like you'll deal with this girl in the future, and even if you were, gently caress it. She's the type of person I'd even tell off in real life, because what she brings to the table is the exact opposite of happiness. (I could just say "unhappiness", but where's the poetry in that?) Hell, I have told manipulative fuckheads to leave me be in real life, and things were better for it. (Umm... not that I'm getting onto you about the way you handled it or anything, JohnOfOrdo3, I'm was just wondering, and then I couldn't stop typing.) FakeEdit: Also would swear not to break Safari Rule if pictures of Denise's art were posted. Because, quite frankly, I don't care to have contact with her in any place outside of this thread.
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Mar 5, 2013 06:18
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I think JoO3 just wanted to get out of it as quickly and cleanly as possible without drama. The best way to do this was to suck up to Kry's bullshit for a coupla emails. It's like when you break up with a person and say "it's not you, it's me" even though it totally is them.DicktheCat posted:FakeEdit: Also would swear not to break Safari Rule if pictures of Denise's art were posted. Because, quite frankly, I don't care to have contact with her in any place outside of this thread. No matter how many people swear to follow safari rules, you know that all it takes is one single lurker who thinks it'd be hilarious to message Denise on her DA. Noodles has given us many glorious stories, and we should respect her wishes to keep personal life and internet life separate. Not that I don't desperately want to see Denise in loving anime cosplay... e: Maybe if we're very very good, Noodles will draw a picture of the photos... 
Corridor fucked around with this message at 06:57 on Mar 5, 2013 |
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Mar 5, 2013 06:47
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See, for me, it's just easier to say "Leave me the gently caress alone, I don't owe you poo poo, bye." And break it off. Done. No drama. No screaming, because blocking is a few clicks away. Irl, it's a bit different, because you don't want to burn bridges, etc. Sort of. It's actually easier for me to end things with a hard "NO." if they've been bad, even if I have to burn down some bridges. But that's me. HOWEVER, and this is a big HOWEVER: I understand what you're saying. I think I forgot that this has been a long relationship as well, and that's hard to deal with. Like I said, not meaning to be a big meany-head.
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Mar 5, 2013 06:59
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Corridor posted:
I'd love to see more drawings! Noodles, I was told that the more Denise drawings you post, the better behaved your horny parrot will be, really!
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Mar 5, 2013 08:30
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