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A couple more: Cats Are Better Than Dogs vs. Fine If I See Doug, I'm Going To Kick His rear end vs. Apparently Doug Is A Better Fighter Than I Thought
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Mar 4, 2013 20:07
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The look on the cat lover's face is absolutely priceless. Content: Darling, I Will Give You The Moon And The Stars vs. Giving Me The Moon And Stars Would Have Disastrous Effects On Our Galaxy
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Mar 4, 2013 20:09
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This is, and will always be, the best Onion article. Though this one is a close second 
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Mar 4, 2013 21:23
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Fun times are over. Jesus christ. 
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Mar 4, 2013 21:42
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10 Most OMG Adorable Animals I like how they don't even bother trying to justify putting Alan Alda in this time.
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Mar 4, 2013 21:51
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Rules Grammar Change This is completely destroying my brain 
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Mar 4, 2013 22:50
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As Long As You're Smiling, Nothing Can Get You Down vs. This Shelter For Homeless AIDS Sufferers Has Been Defunded; Please Gather Your Things Dammit Sad Kevin!
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Mar 4, 2013 23:30
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Wubbles posted:Fun times are over. I love going to a comedy website and actually crying. Just love it. Maybe I'll go re-read that one piece they did about the guy realizing that his parents are getting old and one day will die. gently caress it.
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Mar 4, 2013 23:51
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Wubbles posted:Fun times are over. It could've been worse. I was expecting the last line to be about him eventually commiting suicide.
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Mar 5, 2013 00:32
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U.S. Out Of My Uterus vs. We Must Deploy Troops To Jessica Linden's Uterus Immediately
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Mar 5, 2013 00:34
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Wubbles posted:Fun times are over. I thought that this one was funny. The joke is that at that age, the significance of everything is blown way out of proportion. In addition to the Point/Counterpoint articles, I like the advice columns as well. Someone earlier posted the Ask An Elderly Black Woman As Depicted By A Sophomore Creative Writing Major, and some of the more bizarre have included Ask The Voice-Over From The Dukes Of Hazzard, Ask A Frat Brother Who Just Accidentally Drowned A Pledge During A Hazing Gone Horribly Awry, Ask A College Professor Having Trouble With The Audiovisual Equipment, and Ask A Man Who's Jowl-Deep In Phyllis Diller's Pussy. I also like the latest infographic: Dr. Seuss' Lesser-Known Titles. And here is a classic article: Lovecraftian School Board Member Wants Madness Added To Curriculum.
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Mar 5, 2013 00:36
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The best Point/Counterpoint. They both make compelling arguments! Other contenders: http://www.theonion.com/articles/duhim-stupid-vs-no-thats-not-me,11577/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/according-to-the-economist-nasa-is-an-industrial-s,11532/ quote:Question: Do you think I'm smarter than everyone else because I read The Economist, or do I read The Economist because I'm smarter than everyone else? Now, there's a conundrum! I should mail that one in to The Economist and see what they think! Lord Hydronium has a new favorite as of 00:43 on Mar 5, 2013 |
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Mar 5, 2013 00:40
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Toad on a Hat posted:Rules Grammar Change Am I mistaken or is this German sentence structure (with two exceptions)?
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Mar 5, 2013 01:21
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Toad on a Hat posted:Rules Grammar Change Oh my God, this is the perfect way to troll an English major.
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Mar 5, 2013 03:06
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Brother Jonathan posted:I thought that this one was funny. The joke is that at that age, the significance of everything is blown way out of proportion. I see it more as trolling new parents who might freak out about screwing their kid up for life by doing something wrong. My favorite all-time article is "NFL Star Thanks Jesus After Successful Double Homicide" quote:"First off, I'd like to say 'great job' to Isaac and Pamela, who put up a heck of a fight and have nothing to be ashamed of," Banks said. "They were terrific opponents, and it's too bad somebody had to lose a life. But the Lord Jesus Christ was truly with me Saturday night. He guided my hand when I was able to make that big hit on Isaac, and I really felt His presence when I stepped up and made that great slashing cut to bring Pamela down from behind."
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Mar 5, 2013 03:20
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This one rings true: Bodybuilder Extensively Explains Difference Between Bodybuilding, Weightlifting
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Mar 5, 2013 03:34
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Intrusive Thoughts posted:Oh my God, this is the perfect way to troll an English major. Or, "An English major to troll the perfect way this is." Malachi Constant posted:I see it more as trolling new parents who might freak out about screwing their kid up for life by doing something wrong. 
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Mar 5, 2013 03:56
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Girls Gone Wild Bankruptcy Forces Thousands Of Wet, Wild Party Girls Into Tough Job Market
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Mar 5, 2013 16:07
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Headline With Words ‘HIV Baby’ In It Somehow Turns Out Okay
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Mar 5, 2013 22:16
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Sad Kevin had a good night's sleep, but he couldn't help himself with that ending line.
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Mar 5, 2013 22:27
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Mescal posted:Am I mistaken or is this German sentence structure (with two exceptions)?  ultrafilter posted:Girls Gone Wild Bankruptcy Forces Thousands Of Wet, Wild Party Girls Into Tough Job Market In the ticker: "Biden Reportedly Saved Gov't $4,341.62 Over Weekend By Skipping Out On Hotel Bill" e: Oh god, it gets better: "Romney Admits He No Longer Sees Difference Between Large Rats And Middle Class" Hello Sailor has a new favorite as of 23:02 on Mar 5, 2013 |
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Mar 5, 2013 22:56
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Mescal posted:Am I mistaken or is this German sentence structure (with two exceptions)? More or less. Anglo-Saxon and German are pretty close, linguistically.
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Mar 5, 2013 23:43
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I wonder if demonstrating the application of German sentence structure to English vocabulary would be a good way to teach German grammar to English speakers.
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Mar 5, 2013 23:59
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Recent, but good. Boyfriend Forced to Express Secondhand Outrage
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Mar 6, 2013 14:45
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Hahaha goddamn the Onion. http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-unsure-if-hes-supposed-to-want-hugo-chave,31534/ This was literally my first thought when I heard the news.
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Mar 6, 2013 15:52
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Wubbles posted:Fun times are over. Jesus loving christ
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Mar 6, 2013 17:17
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I am part of the 99% in this article. http://www.theonion.com/articles/poll-99-of-human-beings-would-prefer-big-slobbery,31537/
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Mar 6, 2013 21:21
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Spikey posted:I am part of the 99% in this article. Ahaha, that ending. Also just a head's up but one of the pieces they put up today has some NWS images in it. I won't say which one because it gives away the punchline but be forewarned.
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Mar 6, 2013 21:27
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Mitt Romney recently gave his first interview since the election, which included his thoughts on why he lost. This is the exact opposite of what he said, but seems much more accurate: http://www.theonion.com/video/romney-blames-loss-on-successfully-communicating-h,31541/
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Mar 6, 2013 21:41
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This is the kind of one you won't REALLY understand till you are at least in your late 20s http://www.theonion.com/articles/obnoxious-friend-wont-stop-attaining-major-life-mi,31528/
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Mar 6, 2013 22:26
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ultrafilter posted:Girls Gone Wild Bankruptcy Forces Thousands Of Wet, Wild Party Girls Into Tough Job Market There's a wonderful little Diamond Joe bit in the text pieces along the bottom, as well as,"Rodman reports North Korea dangerously close to making basketball team." 
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Mar 6, 2013 22:39
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The Onion has decided to piss people off in a way that's actually funny. (Go to the articles to see the punchline, I ain't spoiling it)
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Mar 7, 2013 19:36
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I hope they find this Gunman soon. I'm on the edge of my seat  .If a real shooting breaks out while this is happening it's going to be confusing as hell. SwimmingSpider has a new favorite as of 20:23 on Mar 7, 2013 |
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Mar 7, 2013 20:20
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Meanwhile, here's the Boston Globe blog's response to a recent Onion article. It's adorable. 
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Mar 7, 2013 20:32
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"Uncle Joe hosed up bad!" The photoshop of a miserable Obama in his dressing gown smoking a cigarette as Joe is hauled away by the cops is a thing of beauty.
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Mar 7, 2013 22:31
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Jerusalem posted:"Uncle Joe hosed up bad!" Every picture in that video is golden. Uncle Joe.
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Mar 7, 2013 23:15
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The end of the "Gunman" saga is pretty funny.
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Mar 8, 2013 01:21
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Shady New Wendy's Deal Offering Five Hamburgers For Free, No Questions Asked
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Mar 8, 2013 18:51
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Let's Talk About How Fast I Can Run I think this is a touching piece. The Onion really shows it´s competency in not always going with straight satire but instead simply just showing genuine heart. VVV Exactly! Konec Hry has a new favorite as of 20:37 on Mar 8, 2013 |
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Mar 8, 2013 19:55
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Konec Hry posted:Let's Talk About How Fast I Can Run That last line is so  .
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Mar 8, 2013 20:28
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