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jot posted:Thanks for this post. There just seems to be a ton of misinformation and confusion about what one SHOULD buy in terms of a ring. I recently bought a ring, paid a little over $5000 for it. My family caught wind of it (I haven't proposed yet btw) and now they're giving me hell for 'being cheap.' This must be some kind of a cultural or tradition thing. I know my dad never was able to buy one and ended up sinking savings into buying a house instead. When my fiance was searching for wedding bands, we got a quote for a custom ring for $2300, and she flipped out saying how ridiculous it would be to waste that much money. I kept my mouth shut that I had spent that much on her engagement ring, ha. It's all about what makes her happy, that is the absolute bottom line. Screw everyone else. LogisticEarth fucked around with this message at 17:24 on Apr 5, 2013 |
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Apr 5, 2013 16:53
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Speaking of rings, I heard about I do, now I don't on NPR. I don't know if it's a good service or what, but it's a place to sell (and buy) engagement rings from proposals that didn't succeed.
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Apr 5, 2013 18:31
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LogisticEarth posted:This must be some kind of a cultural or tradition thing. I know my dad never was able to buy one and ended up sinking savings into buying a house instead. When my fiance was searching for wedding bands, we got a quote for a custom ring for $2300, and she flipped out saying how ridiculous it would be to waste that much money. I kept my mouth shut that I had spent that much on her engagement ring, ha. It's all about what makes her happy, that is the absolute bottom line. Screw everyone else. Yeah, there is a bit of a cultural aspect at play here. My family is Indian and when it comes to weddings, there's a strong element of wanting to do everything bigger and more extravagantly than everyone else. All well and good, but me and my girlfriend prefer to be more low key. In any event, I'm happy with the ring I got and once I get it (has to be reset from the default platinum setting to yellow gold), I'll be proposing!
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Apr 5, 2013 19:04
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jot posted:Yeah, there is a bit of a cultural aspect at play here. My family is Indian and when it comes to weddings, there's a strong element of wanting to do everything bigger and more extravagantly than everyone else. All well and good, but me and my girlfriend prefer to be more low key. In any event, I'm happy with the ring I got and once I get it (has to be reset from the default platinum setting to yellow gold), I'll be proposing! A lot of Greeks are that way too. It has made the wedding planning/vendor discussions pretty painful, since they assume that we will be spending every penny we have, plus probably going into debt, to throw the biggest bash Anyone Has Ever Seen. Gets super awkward when it's like, no, we're having about 50 people, no dancing, small and quiet affair. (Explaining to the extended family is even more fun, especially since I was at most of their Giant Extravaganza Weddings and they think we are 'cheaping out' on them.)
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Apr 5, 2013 19:58
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There's a bunch of Etsy shops that sell titanium rings for super cheap. Is there any reason not to go for titanium wedding rings? I know they can't be resized, but they're so cheap that doesn't seem like a big deal.
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Apr 5, 2013 20:01
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Eggplant Wizard posted:Speaking of rings, I heard about I do, now I don't on NPR. I don't know if it's a good service or what, but it's a place to sell (and buy) engagement rings from proposals that didn't succeed. And I always buy them, too. 
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Apr 6, 2013 01:14
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So are there any rings for people that aren't making assloads of money? I'm a college student working basically minimum wage right now, and aside from rent and such I've been trying to save in little $50-per-month baby steps towards replacing my fiancee's stolen ring. Problem is, the original ring was a gift (passed down but not some crazy family heirloom, thankfully. Still sucked rear end to have it taken, though) and everywhere I look it seems like even the most basic of even synthetic diamond rings are all like $500+ Am I just looking in the wrong place, or do I pretty much have to save up for a year or more to buy a decent ring?
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Apr 6, 2013 03:26
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Diamonds are expensive yes, but you don't HAVE to go with diamond. Emerald looks pretty sharp, or get a fake diamond if she wants the look. Take her to a department store and just casually ask her what she's into, etc. A good independent jeweller should be able to point the way. I would stay away from department stores or chain stores (Birks, people's, etc.) because a) they hock diamonds and b) it's overpriced compared to the independent middle eastern guys. Where do you live? I'm sure some goons can point the way for you.
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Apr 6, 2013 14:47
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Rocks posted:Diamonds are expensive yes, but you don't HAVE to go with diamond. I think he was saying that even synthetic diamond and/or alternative stones start running around $500, which isn't entirely inaccurate if he's just looking at some major chains. But poking around even on Etsy you can find loads of CZ and alternative stones for cheap. The problem he might be running into is that if it's set in new platinum/gold then they're automatically going to start in the $300+ range. A simple white gold wedding band usually starts somewhere near $150-200. Add in the stone and any more complicated band and you'll easily start pushing $500.
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Apr 6, 2013 15:14
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I think the setting is the most important part. I'd say spend the most for the setting that she likes and then get a less expensive stone (like a CZ) and you can always upgrade to a diamond later when you have more income. I got moissanite and emeralds for the same reason (that and I wanted a gemstone), however the emeralds were more expensive than the moissanite in my case.
Dead Pikachu fucked around with this message at 16:26 on Apr 6, 2013 |
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Apr 6, 2013 16:24
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Ah, that could explain things then. Any really good Etsy shops or such I should be looking at that would be catering to my meager budget? A white gold band that looks really nice with some CZ would be perfect, especially if I could realistically get it in the $100-300 dollar range. Looking at the big stores where even the smallest stone in the plainest band is like half a grand or more was a little discouraging.
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Apr 6, 2013 17:05
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Honey Badger posted:Ah, that could explain things then. Any really good Etsy shops or such I should be looking at that would be catering to my meager budget? A white gold band that looks really nice with some CZ would be perfect, especially if I could realistically get it in the $100-300 dollar range. You could check on moissaniteco.com too -- they have some great rings that fit your budget (especially the solitaire-style type rings). If your fiancee wants a diamond-like stone, I think moissanite is way more stunning than CZ. Plus CZ tends to get cloudy and it is really obvious that it is not a diamond. Moissanite is beautiful in its own right - and moissaniteco.com's customer service/return policy is great.
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Apr 6, 2013 19:09
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Looks like our wedding rings are going to be where most of the money is going... Just over 1200 for the rings... That's going to hurt... How much have you goons spent on your wedding rings?
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Apr 7, 2013 01:46
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My engagement/wedding ring was $20. It was part of a $40 "matching his and hers wedding bands" set from Amazon. I didn't want a diamond, I think they're stupid.
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Apr 7, 2013 04:18
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Spiffster posted:Looks like our wedding rings are going to be where most of the money is going... Just over 1200 for the rings... That's going to hurt... How much have you goons spent on your wedding rings? Ours were less than 500 combined; mine was way more than hers cause I have giant fingers.
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Apr 7, 2013 04:27
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Spiffster posted:Looks like our wedding rings are going to be where most of the money is going... Just over 1200 for the rings... That's going to hurt... How much have you goons spent on your wedding rings? I spent about $1200 on the set for her. She still has yet to get mine, I'm pretty sure the one I wanted was about $400.
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Apr 7, 2013 14:49
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We spent around $800 on our rings, he picked out a tungsten ring that was less than $150 and mine was around $600 since I picked a white gold one with little diamonds in the band. We didn't do any shopping around, we walked into the Zales outlet near where I live to figure out our ring sizes and what mm band would look good on his finger and ended up finding rings we really liked in the store that weren't unreasonably priced so we just went for it. Where's everyone keeping their rings till the wedding? Ours have been sitting in the bag on our kitchen table because we can't figure out somewhere safe to put them till the wedding. I don't own a jewelry box or anything (all my jewelry is in a beat up taped together shoebox  ), so I might just chuck them in the gun safe.
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Apr 7, 2013 18:13
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I have a little box that says "TAKE THIS TO THE WEDDING" that has a bunch of miscellaneous poo poo in it like our cake toppers, some pictures, pens for the guestbook, our toasting glasses, and our rings. I'm about 80% convinced I'm going to forget it but at least it's all together!
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Apr 7, 2013 18:38
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Honey Badger posted:Ah, that could explain things then. Any really good Etsy shops or such I should be looking at that would be catering to my meager budget? A white gold band that looks really nice with some CZ would be perfect, especially if I could realistically get it in the $100-300 dollar range. Try watching overstock.com, too. Sounds ridiculous but that's where my friends' engagement ring is from and it was really cheap, something like $150 for a gemstone ring with diamond accents. edit: Looks like they have moissanite rings, too. Silly Hippie fucked around with this message at 19:41 on Apr 7, 2013 |
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Apr 7, 2013 19:34
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Spiffster posted:Looks like our wedding rings are going to be where most of the money is going... Just over 1200 for the rings... That's going to hurt... How much have you goons spent on your wedding rings? We got ours off Amazon, and I think we paid under $200 for both. Mine was more expensive because it is white gold, and my husband's was $30 (tungsten). I was really nervous about buying them online, but they turned out perfect for us!
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Apr 7, 2013 19:56
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What is the deal with tungsten rings? All that I know about tungsten is that it's really heavy. edit- I've already been doing my engagement ring browsing in private, but targeted ads are showing me engagement rings on every website nonstop. I'm going to have to browse in incognito mode or something. FogHelmut fucked around with this message at 21:33 on Apr 7, 2013 |
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Apr 7, 2013 21:28
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FogHelmut posted:What is the deal with tungsten rings? All that I know about tungsten is that it's really heavy. It's cheap and durable and looks manlier than a shiny standard jewelry metal like gold or silver. It's pretty practical for anyone who has a job working with their hands since gold can get damaged pretty easily. Edit: v v ME TOO. That and Weddington Way and Wedding Paper Divas. EVERYWHERE. Then when I stopped going to wedding sites for a while I got ads for couples counseling 
Problem! fucked around with this message at 01:10 on Apr 8, 2013 |
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Apr 7, 2013 22:07
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FogHelmut posted:edit- I've already been doing my engagement ring browsing in private, but targeted ads are showing me engagement rings on every website nonstop. I'm going to have to browse in incognito mode or something. Oh that's the worst. We bought our rings over 9 months ago and I still get ads for rings EVERYWHERE. They never go away!
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Apr 8, 2013 00:46
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Spiffster posted:Looks like our wedding rings are going to be where most of the money is going... Just over 1200 for the rings... That's going to hurt... How much have you goons spent on your wedding rings? Mine was $100 from Sam's Club (Tungsten Carbide) and her's was about $500 or so from a local jeweler (white gold with small diamonds). I might upgrade my band sometime into the future with a Meteorite band or something along those lines since they are awesome looking and being a big Sci-Fi/Space geek and having something from space on my finger is kinda cool.
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Apr 8, 2013 18:15
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Any other ladies had issues with MIL kind of losing their mind on realization that their son is essentially leaving the nest? Not only are we getting married June 15th, but the closing date on the house we are in the process of buying is May 15th and I think the combination of the two is driving her crazier than usual.
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Apr 8, 2013 20:54
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My MIL has actually been more helpful and excited about the wedding than my own mother. Then again, our wedding is still (likely) a year out so we're not really doing anything to set off the "oh god this is the real deal" panic. I think it helps that both moms involved had their MILs meddle and interfere with their planning and are trying their best not to do that to me My fiance has been out of the nest for a good 4 years now and my MIL is excited to foist him off on me so she can finally permanently turn his room into an extra large closet. Really depends on if the MIL's attitude is  MAH BAYBEE or not I guess.
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Apr 8, 2013 21:12
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How do you put your names on the invites? We'll already be married. I made fake stupid names here. My mom is showing me a mockup that says "Razz Johnson-Smith" and "Groom Smith". Johnson being my maiden name. I just think that sounds weird, like I'm planning on hyphenating my name, which I'm not. I think it should be Myfirstname-middlename-lastname and Groomfirstname-middlename-lastname. Thoughts?
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Apr 9, 2013 01:11
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razz posted:How do you put your names on the invites? We'll already be married. I made fake stupid names here. I would put your name as it will be at the time you send out the invitations. If you will not yet be married when you send them out, use your maiden name.
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Apr 9, 2013 01:28
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vanessa posted:I would put your name as it will be at the time you send out the invitations. If you will not yet be married when you send them out, use your maiden name. I'm kind of worried that if I do that people will be like, Razz Smith? Who the hell is that? (if my maiden name isn't even on there). Because we're sending invites to extended family and friends who don't even know my future husband's first name, let alone his last. Or does that not even make any sense at all? I've just been looking at this website (below) and they all have first, middle, last name for both parties (or at least not hyphenated). And honestly the fact that I'm getting married before my "wedding" does not matter to me AL ALL, we're just doing it for convenience and to save money. http://designshack.net/articles/inspiration/50-examples-of-wonderfully-designed-wedding-invitations/
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Apr 9, 2013 01:40
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Sounds like the best way is to just put your maiden name, as you would have if you weren't married yet. You can pretend the ceremony completes it, even if it didn't really. Or if you'd like to make clear you're already married, perhaps razz middle name smith (nee Johnson)
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Apr 9, 2013 01:58
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For what it's worth, the invitations I've received in the past few years have all used the bride's maiden name. That makes the most sense. It's the wedding of Razz Johnson and Groom Smith. You're not Razz and Groom Smith until afterwards.
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Apr 9, 2013 02:28
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Hawkgirl posted:Sounds like the best way is to just put your maiden name, as you would have if you weren't married yet. You can pretend the ceremony completes it, even if it didn't really. LogisticEarth posted:For what it's worth, the invitations I've received in the past few years have all used the bride's maiden name. That makes the most sense. It's the wedding of Razz Johnson and Groom Smith. You're not Razz and Groom Smith until afterwards. Yeah, I think that's what I want to do and what makes the most sense. It's just the fact that we're getting courthouse-married the week before that's throwing my mom off, because we'll *technically* already be married. But... it's not like my name will automatically changed the second we say "I Do". I mean, I have to go do all that poo poo myself afterwards, haha. Thanks! I feel so drat nit-picky about all this, haha.
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Apr 9, 2013 03:26
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razz posted:Yeah, I think that's what I want to do and what makes the most sense. It's just the fact that we're getting courthouse-married the week before that's throwing my mom off, because we'll *technically* already be married. But... it's not like my name will automatically changed the second we say "I Do". I mean, I have to go do all that poo poo myself afterwards, haha. So there's still going to be some kind of ceremony? Whatever just put your maiden name. Better than having to explain to every single guest that no, actually, this is the second wedding but it's also a real one for us so no we're not being tacky wait stop please bring back that blender Anyway I think it'd be confusing. Just Razz Maiden and Fiance Johnson. Whatever. If your mom insists, then just do Razz Maiden Johnson, no hyphen. It's normal for women who change their names to use the Maiden name as a second middle name.
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Apr 9, 2013 14:00
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Eggplant Wizard posted:So there's still going to be some kind of ceremony? Whatever just put your maiden name. Better than having to explain to every single guest that no, actually, this is the second wedding but it's also a real one for us so no we're not being tacky wait stop please bring back that blender Yeah, what we're doing is kind of non-traditional basically because of money and time constraints, and also our militant desires to be non-traditional and non-religious. Our chain of events is: June 7: We are getting married at the courthouse. No ceremony, just the judge saying magic marriage words and us exchanging rings. No one's going to be there except our parents. So that is technically our "wedding ceremony". So there basically is no wedding happening. June 8: My parents are throwing us a party at their house, the time and date of which will appear on the invitations. See, we'll already be "married" by this point but there's also no ceremony going on here. People are going to show up, eat food, drink beer, then they go away. Non-formal event. People are not watching us get married in front of a crowd like at a typical wedding. June 14-16th: We're having an all-weekend campout, which also will appear in the invites. Again, no ceremony, just a party. Totally non-formal. We'll already have been technically married for a week at this point. This is where the confusion is coming from. Basically we're eloping, then having parties later that involve no ceremony whatsoever. The parties are simply to celebrate that we got married. Also the fact that my mom keeps talking about "the wedding reception" is throwing people off. It implies that we're having a wedding. Which we most certainly are not, at least not in the traditional sense. Dammit all we want to do is party and invite a lot of people to said parties, is that so wrong??? Haha Also goddamn we do NOT want blenders or ANY gifts, haha. I am horrified of receiving all this household bullshit that we either already have or don't need or don't want. We aren't registered anywhere for that very reason. We specifically do not want gifts. We have too much stuff as it is. I am anti-stuff. If people want to give us something they can give us money or gift cards. Their presence at our celebrations is the only gift we really want though.
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Apr 9, 2013 19:21
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Has anyone changed their mind about having a wedding reception at all? Just wondering how this will go down with family and friends. The situation: My partner and I decided to get married a few months ago. I wanted to just go to a registry office and do it as I have no interest in anything bridelike at all. My partner thought this would not be fair on his Mum and she'd want some sort of wedding because she is quite traditional. Turns out his Mum didn't give a drat and told us just to get married as soon as possible (she even offered to give us the money to do it as she was that keen). By the time she told us this we had told people we would be having a small wedding of about 70 people next year. Since then I've decided my head will explode with the logistics of it all - my family all live about 1000 miles away (so can't even help me arrange it) and my best friends are scattered across Europe. After a few weeks of looking at wedding venues I decided I just can't handle arranging a wedding and just want to get married with no fuss whatsoever so we've decided we're going to Iceland on our own to get married by a waterfall. Will people be pissed off at me for changing my mind? I hadn't set a date in stone yet but I'm worried people will be really annoyed they're not getting a party out of us.
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Apr 9, 2013 20:21
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Beep Street posted:Will people be pissed off at me for changing my mind? I hadn't set a date in stone yet but I'm worried people will be really annoyed they're not getting a party out of us. Who cares? It's your wedding. You do what you want. Whenever people butt in with un-asked for opinions of what I should do at my wedding my default response is "You can do that at your wedding" or "You already planned your wedding, now let me plan mine."
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Apr 9, 2013 20:30
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:My MIL has actually been more helpful and excited about the wedding than my own mother. Then again, our wedding is still (likely) a year out so we're not really doing anything to set off the "oh god this is the real deal" panic. I think it helps that both moms involved had their MILs meddle and interfere with their planning and are trying their best not to do that to me She's getting a bit on the ddemanding pushy side so I might say something...today she approached me about the rehersal dinner. I said I had asked my uncle if we could just have a big potluck at hose house since he loved right down the street from the venue but offered her to spearhead the whole thing since she's feeling excluded (really by her own accord), She asked if her out of town guests could come and I kind of hesitated because I was hoping it would just be the wedding party. She goes "well your uncle will be there"....yeah, it's his house. Then she says she won't go if it means out of town guests can't come because she doesn't think it's fair to leave them alone. I said it wasn't going to be a big ordeal but she basically pressured me into saying they could come, but I made it clear rehersal before supper was absolutely wedding party only. She keeps saying she's feelin excluded but whenever we involve her she just either says she doesn't feel like doing what we asked or gets really over bearing. I felt bad because my bridal shower is Saturday and one of my bridesmaids said MIL offered to get a meat tray for it, which she did. So bridesmaid asked if she got a cheese tray too and MIL tells her she doesn't see the point and they (bridesmaids) can buy one if they want it. They're students and don't really have a lot of extra income....  Real monster in law right about now.
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Apr 9, 2013 23:26
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Beep Street posted:Will people be pissed off at me for changing my mind? I hadn't set a date in stone yet but I'm worried people will be really annoyed they're not getting a party out of us. If you had already set a date and sent out invites and the wedding was two weeks away and people had already bought plane tickets/rented rooms/bought you a gift and then you changed your mind, that would be one thing and yes people would be very pissed. But if you haven't even set a date, let alone done any wedding planning, I don't see why anyone would care in the slightest.
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Apr 10, 2013 00:12
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razz posted:If you had already set a date and sent out invites and the wedding was two weeks away and people had already bought plane tickets/rented rooms/bought you a gift and then you changed your mind, that would be one thing and yes people would be very pissed. But if you haven't even set a date, let alone done any wedding planning, I don't see why anyone would care in the slightest. Yeah, I agree here. They may be disappointed because they wanted to see you guys get married, but would they be offended or actually upset? Doubtful.
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Apr 10, 2013 15:41
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I'm not terribly interested in diamonds, and a lot of the "alternative" links in the OP are really on the alternative side. GreenKarat seems the most reasonable, but their selection seems limited. Can anyone recommend something similar?
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Apr 11, 2013 01:38
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