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I've been holding off asking this because I didn't wanna sound like an rear end in a top hat, but now I just have to know: Do you have Asperger's syndrome?
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Apr 16, 2013 18:59
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Good lord Benny, when I read you got a job I was sad because I felt this thread had run its course. Now I have the feeling it's just getting started. You smacked the bosses wife with a tray on day one!?cname posted:That being said, learn to be graceful in the kitchen. You need to think about navigating a kitchen the way a member of a SWAT team thinks about navigating rooms, corners, walls, etc. Apply to be part of SWAT. Admit it, that would be the slapstick comedy of the year. In all seriousness though, good job. Day one always sucks, and the more experience you get the more natural things will flow. On day one as a probation officer, I forgot to label a urine analysis and it had to be destroyed. So, keep on keeping on. 
Meow Tse-tung fucked around with this message at 19:04 on Apr 16, 2013 |
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Apr 16, 2013 19:01
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I think the cook was pulling you leg on the towel-pressed vegetables. But hey, I'm not on Food TV.
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Apr 16, 2013 19:07
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Darth123123 posted:I think the cook was pulling you leg on the towel-pressed vegetables. But hey, I'm not on Food TV. CountingCrows posted:I've been holding off asking this because I didn't wanna sound like an rear end in a top hat, but now I just have to know: Do you have Asperger's syndrome? I just called my boss and he told me if I don't hear from him by 5 call him back. Him and the wife are going to be away for the weekend so they need to schedule things in advance. In the meanwhile, off to the mall.
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Apr 16, 2013 19:16
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The fact that he hasn't fired you yet is probably a really good sign that he is legitimately trying to work out how to keep you on. I mean, he may just be giving you the runaround, but there's really no reason for him to give you the runaround in a job like that. I assume that California's an 'at will' state like most of the U.S., so it's not like he actually needs a reason to fire you if he wants to.
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Apr 16, 2013 20:05
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This is what people mean by "no marketable skills".
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Apr 16, 2013 20:20
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When someone tells you "do it like this" and it's your first day, do it like that.
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Apr 16, 2013 20:22
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Arch Stanton posted:When someone tells you "do it like this" and it's your first day, do it like that. Because when the manager/boss goes around asking the current employees how the new guy was the first day, you don't want the old coworkers saying, "well... he didn't do it the way I asked" on your very first day of the job
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Apr 16, 2013 20:44
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Are you purposefully sabotaging yourself because you do not like your jobs?
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Apr 16, 2013 20:48
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the runs formula posted:Because when the manager/boss goes around asking the current employees how the new guy was the first day, you don't want the old coworkers saying, "well... he didn't do it the way I asked" This. I don't care if you thought your way was safer. The cook that was training you has been there longer than you. He's established there. He tells you to use a towel or whatever, loving suck it up and do it. Once you've been there a while and have a consistent schedule, then maybe start doing things your own way. Doing crap like that really makes me wonder if, like Xenocides said, you're sabotaging yourself.
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Apr 16, 2013 21:07
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Xenocides posted:Are you purposefully sabotaging yourself because you do not like your jobs? Hey man, he does have an English degree.
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Apr 16, 2013 21:19
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CravingSolace posted:I don't care if you thought your way was safer. The cook that was training you has been there longer than you. Also since he's held down that job and is respected enough to be a trainer there's probably a really good reason he's doing that. Like, you can quickly, cleanly turn all the zucchinis at once with a towel, or slowly tear them up while turning them one at a time with tongs.
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Apr 16, 2013 21:33
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Are you still looking for ways to make extra money? Are you in the USA? If so have you looked into Mechanical Turk and other online options? Some goons make hundreds a month doing surveys and silly tasks in their spare time. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3472001&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=25 Of course the Mturk stuff isn't money, it is amazon.com credit, but you can buy very useful things with amazon credit. You can't pay your rent with it, but in the USA you can buy food and other necessities. The tasks are boring, but not difficult. Even Danny could do this. Since you can write, you also have the option to start writing and publishing online. Some goons find horrible erotica to be a very lucrative market. Once you get established you can make hundreds a month writing short stories (about sex). Link possibly NSFW or your house:  http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3503700&pagenumber=1 Writing makes you better at writing, so writing erotic fiction now may be useful if you want to make a living writing other things later. The best part for you might be that you have no boss. No one looming over your shoulder telling you how to do things. Just you and your computer. Of course the tasks for Mturk and the other sites have to be done a certain way, but they are mostly a collection of very short tasks, so if you do one and don't like it, just complete the one you're on and then don't do any more of that task. You can easily do this for extra money while you hold down a lovely job, or between jobs.
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Apr 16, 2013 21:49
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adventure in the sandbox posted:Hey man, he does have an English degree.  Never thought about it like that.
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Apr 16, 2013 21:52
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Xenocides posted:Are you purposefully sabotaging yourself because you do not like your jobs? I used to think this but I think it is more a matter of not having enough responsibilities or job training early enough in life that he knows how to get things done. To self-sabotage would indicate the ability to actually pull these things off. Just to be clear, OP - the whole towel/zucchini thing - was this a paper towel or a real loving "we wipe the counters with this towel" or what? It is unclear from your description - I can imagine a damp counter-wiping towel bursting into flames on a griddle but you seem to believe that is the case, so I'm hoping it's a paper towel. Otherwise I'd be with you for refusing to use a towel, or at least asking "is that sanitary?"
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Apr 16, 2013 21:54
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adventure in the sandbox posted:Hey man, he does have an English degree. So do I and I have held down horrible jobs and professional jobs. I admittedly had a plan though as to what field to go into and how to survive. Angela Christine posted:Since you can write, you also have the option to start writing and publishing online. Some goons find horrible erotica to be a very lucrative market. Once you get established you can make hundreds a month writing short stories (about sex). Link possibly NSFW or your house: Based on grammar and spelling here not sure writing is Benny's strong suit. Admittedly I do not know much about erotica. Does the gay werewolf bondage porn audience get annoyed at those kind of errors? Also he is looking to get money so he can move out so he can watch porn and not have his comics thrown out. If his mom catches him writing dolphin soulbonder porn she probably will throw out his comics. 
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Apr 16, 2013 22:27
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the runs formula posted:
Ahaha that's not what I meant, but yeah... Xenocides posted:So do I and I have held down horrible jobs and professional jobs. I admittedly had a plan though as to what field to go into and how to survive. Were any of those jobs beneath you??? I'm being mean. Benny, don't stress out yet. When they get you in for a shift, do your damndest to do well. You don't have to be perfect, but you need to try hard and improve over a few shifts.
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Apr 16, 2013 22:30
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adventure in the sandbox posted:Were any of those jobs beneath you??? Sometimes I felt that way but then I realized no, they are not. I did not want them to be permanent but I found a way to get through them and take the crap pay while I worked towards something better.
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Apr 16, 2013 22:33
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Xenocides posted:Sometimes I felt that way but then I realized no, they are not. I did not want them to be permanent but I found a way to get through them and take the crap pay while I worked towards something better. Benny, this person is now your mentor. Listen to Xenocides.
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Apr 16, 2013 22:47
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Xenocides posted:Does the gay werewolf bondage porn audience get annoyed at those kind of errors? I think it's a requirement.
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Apr 16, 2013 22:54
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Sigma-X posted:I used to think this but I think it is more a matter of not having enough responsibilities or job training early enough in life that he knows how to get things done. To self-sabotage would indicate the ability to actually pull these things off.
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Apr 16, 2013 22:59
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Benny the Snake posted:I'm not stupid. I purposefully did something different because I didn't want to endanger myself or anybody else. The grillman probably has a grill rag that he uses for that exact purpose because that's the most efficient way to do it. People in kitchens are 100% efficiency. If there was a real fire danger, the experienced chef would be doing it another way. Step outside your comfort zone. Your life up to this point is the result of you staying within your comfort zone.
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Apr 16, 2013 23:38
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Arch Stanton posted:The grillman probably has a grill rag that he uses for that exact purpose because that's the most efficient way to do it. People in kitchens are 100% efficiency. You've never worked at a restaurant have you?
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Apr 17, 2013 00:02
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Benny the Snake posted:Yeah a real "wipe counters" towel. I should've said a rag. I don't know if it was a clean one since we're supposed to carry one at all times to wipe our hands or clean up messes in our immediate vicinity. But yeah, he just folded it up and pressed down on the zucchini on the grill so that grill marks could be made. The first thing I thought was "If I'm not careful, it's going to catch fire," so I a spatula and tongs instead. I'm not stupid. I purposefully did something different because I didn't want to endanger myself or anybody else. I can picture Gordon Ramsey fliiping his poo poo at that.
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Apr 17, 2013 00:26
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 What's the word on Hollister, Benny?
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Apr 17, 2013 02:58
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Toshimo posted:
Tilly's is stonewalling me. I'll get back with AE tomorrow when the hiring manager is present. By the way I thought memepics were verboten.
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Apr 17, 2013 03:43
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Basically any rule can be broken if you're funny enough when you do it.
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Apr 17, 2013 04:17
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Never, have I ever thought "job loss" would be part of anyone's job search. This is a modern-day excommunication, in the making. The OP is gonna have to find somewhere else to live once he's been fired from every establishment in town.
cname fucked around with this message at 16:03 on Apr 17, 2013 |
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Apr 17, 2013 16:00
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Go see a therapist. They'll identify the parts of yourself that you should improve and eventually you'll rocket out of this funk.
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Apr 17, 2013 16:03
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Benny, with his college degree, can't even find a job in a restaurant kitchen! This is why we need immigration reform, so the hardworking undocumented people can move out of the kitchen and stockroom and on to other, better jobs that reward initiative. Seriously Benny, you live in the SoCal desert, you are weak and you can't keep up with the  . If you're a whiteboy, you need to focus on finding a whiteboy job standing in the front of the house or answering the phone and speaking unaccented English. Hollister was a good start but that's for good looking, popular people. Go apply at Michael's Crafts or Sears or some store like that. They all pay the same and the big national chains are the ones using e-Verify so dude, you have a chance of being at least an average employee in work ethic and drive.
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Apr 17, 2013 16:11
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Angela Christine posted:Since you can write, you also have the option to start writing and publishing online. Some goons find horrible erotica to be a very lucrative market. Once you get established you can make hundreds a month writing short stories (about sex). Link possibly NSFW or your house: No, don't send him to us. Benny can't do this because you have to actually write. Benny has been working on his novel (the upward bound word count for a novel is 120k words) for like four years or something, but the people who make money at this churn out at least forty or fifty thousand words a month, if not more. Also since writing porn is how you make money, Benny's sure to get kicked out of the house if his mother ever finds out what he's doing.
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Apr 17, 2013 16:33
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Quantum Finger posted:No, don't send him to us. Benny can't do this because you have to actually write. Benny has been working on his novel (the upward bound word count for a novel is 120k words) for like four years or something, but the people who make money at this churn out at least forty or fifty thousand words a month, if not more. I've read that thread and the amazing fyad thread. He will fit right in skill level wise. Also the obsession of how many thousands words you write would work with his personality. edit: vvv not really you. But they count thousands of words like its an RPGs exp level. ClemenSalad fucked around with this message at 18:22 on Apr 17, 2013 |
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Apr 17, 2013 16:42
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ClemenSalad posted:I've read that thread and the amazing fyad thread. He will fit right in skill level wise. Also the obsession of how many k words you write would work with his personality. 
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Apr 17, 2013 18:17
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How many thousand words. To make it big you have to be putting out at least one story of at least 3000 words a week. Realistically you'll be writing 10k+ a week, with most people writing far more than that.
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Apr 17, 2013 18:44
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You also need an obsession with euphemisms. If you wish to be inducted into the goonrotica society, please submit your original variant on "wet oval office." On second thought you should do it. You'd get disowned and kicked out and maybe then your life would improve.
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Apr 17, 2013 18:48
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Quantum Finger posted:You also need an obsession with euphemisms. If you wish to be inducted into the goonrotica society, please submit your original variant on "wet oval office." Lubricated cigarette lighter.
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Apr 17, 2013 18:50
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Quantum Finger posted:You also need an obsession with euphemisms. If you wish to be inducted into the goonrotica society, please submit your original variant on "wet oval office." Wow, that's a little forward, hoping for him to "submit" his "original variant"... And before you even buy him dinner!
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Apr 17, 2013 19:05
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Masonity posted:Wow, that's a little forward, hoping for him to "submit" his "original variant"... And before you even buy him dinner! To be fair he was asking for it with his insistence on using his "spatula" and "tongs" on the "heated zucchini".
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Apr 17, 2013 19:11
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Masonity posted:Wow, that's a little forward, hoping for him to "submit" his "original variant"... And before you even buy him dinner! Dinner? You'd never make it in the cutthroat world of reluctant monster gangbangs.
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Apr 17, 2013 19:14
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Quantum Finger posted:Dinner? You'd never make it in the cutthroat world of reluctant monster gangbangs. Cutthroat? Well, there is not a lot of job security in the snuff gangbang acting world.
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Apr 18, 2013 18:34
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