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Covered In Bees posted:I'm pretty sure you aren't allowed to make retarded people wander acres of sticky black asphalt when it's 110 in the shade. Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 05:27 on May 1, 2013 |
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May 1, 2013 05:22
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| # ? Jun 4, 2024 01:10 |
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Well Benny that's good news and I'm actually happy for you. Just don't forget to hydrate, you scrappy motherfucker.
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May 1, 2013 05:35
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Good luck, Benny. See a drat therapist.
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May 1, 2013 06:50
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Congrats, Benny. See, I knew a big-box corporation was the way to go  . Ignore the haters.Now, you put your plan into action. Move into your buddy's place, and start looking for that better job.
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May 1, 2013 10:54
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and for gently caress's sake, do not run the cart's into the CEO of targets wife's face....
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May 1, 2013 15:58
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True story. My first day working parking lot, I smashed some guy's side window. It was dark out and there was nobody else but me and two other guys who were were parking lot too. They just told me to don't say anything and I didn't get caught. A month later I smashed a coworker's side window and he told me not to worry about it. And then there was a time when I try pulling a cart out of a tree plot and some lady pulls in at the same time, scratching her car. She goes straight to my supervisor and I insist she pulled in on me. My supervisor said he believed me and I wasn't penalized for it. Now before you start with the  jokes, I'd just like to point out that even while pushing the limit (six at a time), it's very difficult to maneuver through a parking lot.EDIT: I got an email from Buckle. I wasn't chosen. At least I have Tar-jay. Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 18:47 on May 1, 2013 |
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May 1, 2013 18:42
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I have done countless cart runs when I worked retail through school. Take them in groups of 3 or 4 so you can maneuver. What the gently caress is wrong with you.
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May 1, 2013 18:45
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reflex posted:I have done countless cart runs when I worked retail through school. Take them in groups of 3 or 4 so you can maneuver. What the gently caress is wrong with you. Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 18:51 on May 1, 2013 |
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May 1, 2013 18:47
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How is it you disregard the boss's orders when your fingers might get burnt through a towel but not when you are smashing people's cars up?
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May 1, 2013 18:51
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reflex posted:How is it you disregard the boss's orders when your fingers might get burnt through a towel but not when you are smashing people's cars up? Because he learned his lesson?
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May 1, 2013 18:55
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Benny the Snake posted:True story. My first day working parking lot, I smashed some guy's side window. It was dark out and there was nobody else but me and two other guys who were were parking lot too. They just told me to don't say anything and I didn't get caught. A month later I smashed a coworker's side window and he told me not to worry about it. And then there was a time when I try pulling a cart out of a tree plot and some lady pulls in at the same time, scratching her car. She goes straight to my supervisor and I insist she pulled in on me. My supervisor said he believed me and I wasn't penalized for it. And this is the job you stated you were good at? So you 'got away' with ruining people's property (the first two), congrats I guess.
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May 1, 2013 18:56
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Employment! Congratulat-Benny the Snake posted:Now before you start with the Were there strong anti-intellectual undercurrents to your childhood? Have you ever considered breathing meditation? It's like making attentional control do push-ups. e: Maybe you're just in a funk.
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May 1, 2013 19:00
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While working at Target, I used to have to push 6 or so carts all through the actual store before and after opening, and managed not to hit anyone or anything (displays, other carts being used, boxes, etc..). It's not really normal to lose control of 6 shopping carts. Perhaps you have some sort of problem that makes you clumsy or something? Breaking two car windows with carts seems a bit extreme.
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May 1, 2013 19:12
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Jesus Christ I used to push ~20 of those fuckers and never damaged jack poo poo. How the gently caress are you the Supreme Smasher with merely six carts?
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May 1, 2013 19:18
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Yeah, I've pushed carts as a shopper shitloads of times, and I've never smashed them into a car. How fast do you have to go to smash open a loving car window with a shopping cart? Like those things are tough. Were the carts made of pure lead or something?
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May 1, 2013 19:18
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Pollyanna posted:Yeah, I've pushed carts as a shopper shitloads of times, and I've never smashed them into a car. How fast do you have to go to smash open a loving car window with a shopping cart? Like those things are tough. Were the carts made of pure lead or something? This is Benny, remember. He's lost two jobs after working a single shift at each, and couldn't remember whether or not he put in his two week's notice as McDonald's. Good luck, man. Try not to smash any car windows this time.  Edit: Seriously, though, see about getting the ADD treated. The breathing meditation suggestion just upthread ain't a bad one, either.
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May 1, 2013 19:31
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Benny the Snake posted:True story. My first day working parking lot, I smashed some guy's side window. It was dark out and there was nobody else but me and two other guys who were were parking lot too. They just told me to don't say anything and I didn't get caught. A month later I smashed a coworker's side window and he told me not to worry about it. And then there was a time when I try pulling a cart out of a tree plot and some lady pulls in at the same time, scratching her car. She goes straight to my supervisor and I insist she pulled in on me. My supervisor said he believed me and I wasn't penalized for it. I've never seen a cart that even reaches the rearview mirror, much less anything above that. How is that even possible?
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May 1, 2013 19:53
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Chexmix posted:The breathing meditation suggestion just upthread ain't a bad one, either. Benny, DO NOT assume that you can supplement therapy, proper medication and the practice of coping mechanisms, with breathing meditation. Go get therapy or this will all be for nothing. This is not "mission accomplished! well done! hit the showers! You've gotten past 1 out of 30 some-odd barriers. Also, get a skateboard. Seriously man, you sound like the slowest, most uncoordinated person, ever. Skateboarding will improve your coordination, reaction time, balance and quick-thinking skills when you need to avoid cars/plan lines. (I apologize that 90% post is bold. You know how he is.) cname fucked around with this message at 20:26 on May 1, 2013 |
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May 1, 2013 20:03
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I did this job back in High School and could move 25+ carts. You had to be careful but it is doable. You are regularly smashing windows while driving six? I find it hard to see how you can smash open a window with a cart. How? I know if I lived near you I would not go shopping at Target for fear my window might get smashed or that you would obliviously push a cart in front of me in the parking lot. The scratching her car thing? That is something you could have avoided with basic situational awareness. Know where the cars are Benny or you might get hit next time,
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May 1, 2013 20:08
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Benny the Snake posted:Now before you start with the  I was a cart monkey at a grocery store in high school (late 90s/early 2000s, before the electric cart pushers were a thing) and we would routinely maneuver trains of 20-30 carts single-handed without a problem, and the breezeway the carts were stored in required a 90 degree turn. Unless the carts are unusually large or the parking lot is set up like a maze a child should be able to push & maneuver 6 carts without a problem... OMG JC a Bomb! posted:I've never seen a cart that even reaches the rearview mirror, much less anything above that. How is that even possible? Yeah, kind of threw me for a loop too, unless he was incredibly unlucky and pushed a cart into something that's really low to the ground like a Corvette. The worst incident I ever had was some idiot stopping her van right in front of a string of carts I was pushing. Fun fact: shopping carts don't have brakes!
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May 1, 2013 20:12
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Benny the Snake posted:True story. My first day working parking lot, I smashed some guy's side window. It was dark out and there was nobody else but me and two other guys who were were parking lot too. They just told me to don't say anything and I didn't get caught. A month later I smashed a coworker's side window and he told me not to worry about it. And then there was a time when I try pulling a cart out of a tree plot and some lady pulls in at the same time, scratching her car. She goes straight to my supervisor and I insist she pulled in on me. My supervisor said he believed me and I wasn't penalized for it. Man how the hell did you get a degree? I would regularly push 12-18 carts at a time in highschool (I believe my high score was 23 of the large ones and 30-some of the small ones) and never once hit someone's car. We were only supposed to do 6 at a time but we were also yelled at if the vestibules were empty of carts. I didn't even have a hook/cord for half of my time (and it didn't stretch the length of the cart trains I would have - we were understaffed and overworked and pushing carts is poo poo work). These are big metal loving carts, too - the secret is to manage momentum and not be a loving idiot about things. Hell, the only time a cart came close to hitting someone's car was during the middle of a storm when some rear end in a top hat didn't put his cart away and the wind got one rolling towards a car and I sprinted my fat rear end to it and grappled it with my cart hook, yanking it to the ground LIKE A TOTAL BADASS (or so I felt at the age of 16) before it smashed into someone's car. I had been thinking you'd do better in an office environment, but I'm not sure there are offices that use circles of paper.
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May 1, 2013 21:06
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E/N Bullshit > You call that pushing a cart? THIS is pushing a cart! Awful lot of cart wizards in this thread. Don't let anyone in this thread bully you into putting more energy into a minimum wage job than is necessary. The necessary amount? Minimum. Do what your boss says, and ignore the next poster in the thread who will attempt to dazzle you with a story of the time he maneuvered 60 carts through a Saw-style deathtrap.
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May 1, 2013 21:13
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Zelder posted:E/N Bullshit > You call that pushing a cart? THIS is pushing a cart! I think most of them are just surprised he caused so much property damage doing a 1/3rd of what they could handle and what most mentally disabled people handle with skill, not "work your fingers to the bone."
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May 1, 2013 21:18
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cname posted:Also, get a skateboard. Seriously man, you sound like the slowest, most uncoordinated person, ever. Skateboarding will improve your coordination, reaction time, balance and quick-thinking skills when you need to avoid cars/plan lines. Are you trying to get him killed?
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May 1, 2013 21:19
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Zelder posted:E/N Bullshit > You call that pushing a cart? THIS is pushing a cart! Nah, do slightly more than what you need to and maybe they'll be impressed that you're on top of things. But yeah don't work too hard for minimum wage
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May 1, 2013 21:23
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Zelder posted:E/N Bullshit > You call that pushing a cart? THIS is pushing a cart! Cart Wizardry was a powerful motivator to never gently caress up so bad I had to go back to Cart Wizardry. I agree that for a minimum wage type job with no potential for moving up you should put in what you get paid for and little else (while searching for a better job), but literal children and lazy teenagers have not been as violently unsuccessful at pushing carts. It's not a difficult job for most people. The problem with encouraging Benny to not put in more effort than necessary is that Benny has no actual idea as to how much work is neccessary, and has repeatedly demonstrated that he has difficulty with tasks other people would find incredibly simple. So not loving up pushing carts could very well be challenging to him and if so, he needs to challenge himself because if he can't maintain a job pushing carts the list of actual jobs he is capable of as a human being are pretty much non-existent. Benny, you need to work on whatever is hosed up in your head that causes you such issues with focus and productivity.
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May 1, 2013 21:36
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I bet it has to do with how flat the lot is. If you're on a really uneven lot, keeping a train contained is gonna be harder.
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May 1, 2013 22:06
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Or the wind. Sometimes, a decent sized back-draft off the starboard port, heading hard-broad can cause the carts to pitch-bowl, thus knocking them into a parked car. OP, just stay upwind, close hauled. If you have to head down, just keep it at a beam-reach and don't attempt anything crazy like wing on wing, before you eventually learn to pop the boom on a jibe.
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May 1, 2013 22:19
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I can't wait to hear about his first day. Will it be successful? Will store management embrace him and move him rapidly up the chain? Will anyone die??
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May 1, 2013 22:29
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Thanks for all the cart-facts, ya'll.
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May 1, 2013 22:29
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Learning about carts has been my favorite part of this thread.
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May 1, 2013 22:53
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I was on the last page catching up and I was going to make a joke about "don't hit the boss's wife in the head with a shopping cart" but I don't even have to after reading about Benny admitting to hitting cars and breaking stuff. Still though, don't hit the boss's wife in the head with a shopping cart.
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May 1, 2013 23:08
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Dead Cow posted:I was on the last page catching up and I was going to make a joke about "don't hit the boss's wife in the head with a shopping cart" but I don't even have to after reading about Benny admitting to hitting cars and breaking stuff. You wouldn't have to anyway because someone already made that joke on the same page: AcidRonin posted:and for gently caress's sake, do not run the cart's into the CEO of targets wife's face....
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May 1, 2013 23:11
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Sir John Falstaff posted:You wouldn't have to anyway because someone already made that joke on the same page: Sorry, that post was right above the one where Benny says he smashed a coworkers window. It must have been blocked out in my mind.
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May 1, 2013 23:19
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Thanks guys for the tips. The parking lot at my old job ran downhill. It was real easy to lose control. My secret was put it all in my legs. Lift, turn, and push from my legs and not my back. Target does have room for promotion. They were at the job fair a week back so they have my resume on file and I have their card. It's comforting to know that it's there.
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May 1, 2013 23:44
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Benny is this you?
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May 1, 2013 23:50
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Wait, you turned the Target job down? What do you mean by 'it's comforting to know that it's there'?
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May 2, 2013 01:25
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Seven Hundred Bee posted:Wait, you turned the Target job down? What do you mean by 'it's comforting to know that it's there'?
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May 2, 2013 01:28
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Benny the Snake posted:I didn't turn down the job. Orientation is Saturday. What I'm saying is that it's comforting to know that Target does have room to promote myself which is why I'm working there. gently caress that. It's great you got a job and all, but Target is not a career path for you. You need to find a real job with good benefits and a livable wage. Look at this job not as a goal, but as an opportunity to move out while searching for something better. When I read your posts I feel such a fundamental disconnect -- it's like you're lacking a verbal affect, or everything you type has been run through Google translator. Where's your ambition? Where's your fire? The only parts of this thread that show any sense of deep caring are your posts about your comics. Do you really want so little for yourself in life?
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May 2, 2013 01:36
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| # ? Jun 4, 2024 01:10 |
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Seven Hundred Bee posted:gently caress that. It's great you got a job and all, but Target is not a career path for you. You need to find a real job with good benefits and a livable wage. Look at this job not as a goal, but as an opportunity to move out while searching for something better. If he can get a manager position at Target he can parley that and his degree into job-hunting in the corporate world. Let him get back into the habit of having to deal with real people and work for a living. I'm sure pushing shopping carts around in the summer with a college degree will be much better motivation to improve himself than the internet continuing to yell at him.
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May 2, 2013 01:42
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