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Mike-o posted:What the hell is W&W and GLITBL? W&W = the don't wash your jeans forum GLITBL = gross greasy goons loving other gross greasy goons
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May 3, 2013 03:51
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Mike-o posted:What the hell is W&W and GLITBL? W&W is now YLLS or whatever the fitness subforum is called today.
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May 3, 2013 03:58
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Mike-o posted:What the hell is W&W and GLITBL? W&W was a previous name for the health and fitness sub-forum now known as You Look Like poo poo.
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May 3, 2013 04:01
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Watch and Weight Goon Love Is The Best Love was this thing one of the mods came up with where you volunteered to go on a date and then like any goon could propose a date and you had 24 hours to say yes or get permabanned. Then they had to go on said date and then E/N blog about it. The volunteer pool for the dudes filled up in like 5 minutes. It was as full of antisocial spergs as you can imagine. The whole thing was a hilarious trainwreck for the entertainment of all the other posters; the FYAD thread in particular was spectacular, google it if you have archives.
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May 3, 2013 04:20
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Snowdens Secret posted:Watch and Weight SA goon legend, Two Worlds thread. A must read. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3188411
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May 3, 2013 04:24
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Snowdens Secret posted:Watch and Weight It was an abslsoute disaster and I think someone even called the cops on their date? Every goon dating thing has been an absolute failure, I mean go figure a bunch of angry poor 20 somethings don't make good lovers.
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May 3, 2013 04:28
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HATE CURES TRANNYS posted:It was an abslsoute disaster and I think someone even called the cops on their date? Every goon dating thing has been an absolute failure, I mean go figure a bunch of angry poor 20 somethings don't make good lovers. The point wasn't to get goons into relationships. It was to get goons to generate goony drama content to mock and laugh at. The mod running it was posting in the FYAD thread laughing his rear end off with everyone else.
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May 3, 2013 04:34
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HATE CURES TRANNYS posted:It was an abslsoute disaster and I think someone even called the cops on their date? Every goon dating thing has been an absolute failure, I mean go figure a bunch of angry poor 20 somethings don't make good lovers. You try having sex when your dick is overshadowed by your gut and covered in cheetos No amount of lube in the world
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May 3, 2013 04:34
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holocaust bloopers posted:SA goon legend, Two Worlds thread. A must read. That whole thread is comedic gold but if you want to get to the juicy bits, TigerMoJo lays out some heaviness on page 15. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3188411&perpage=40&pagenumber=15#post364723021 I don't remember if the emote predates it but I feel like  was made for that post.
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May 3, 2013 04:36
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 Holepisser1982 was the best part of that thread.
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May 3, 2013 04:50
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Snowdens Secret posted:The point wasn't to get goons into relationships. It was to get goons to generate goony drama content to mock and laugh at. The mod running it was posting in the FYAD thread laughing his rear end off with everyone else. I don't mean just GLITBL specifically. There have been several goon dating things and all were tragic.
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May 3, 2013 04:56
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PLANES CURE TOWERS posted:
SLIT HIT
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May 3, 2013 04:57
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Nostalgia4Infinity posted:SLIT 
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May 3, 2013 04:59
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I mean you want to talk about idiots let's talk about idiots. Hey everyone I'm an awkward shutin nerd, I'm going to put on my finest silk shirt, dirty slacks, and fedora and got meet another awkward shutin at a crappy restaurant because we both post on a website for weirdos.
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May 3, 2013 05:00
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Dyin... Can't breathe
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May 3, 2013 05:02
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Lord Gaga posted:People in W&W are all butthurt cause I broke up with Susical like 2 years ago but were still friends and hang out like 1-2 times per week. Susical posted:I appreciate the support and I really feel the love everyone, but can we please shut the gently caress up now because I am really sick of being reminded of him! Thanks!!!!!!! Hmm.
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May 3, 2013 05:03
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 man that was a great thread
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May 3, 2013 05:05
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what in the gently caress this isnt the drunk thread
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May 3, 2013 05:25
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Dad's home!
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May 3, 2013 05:26
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Vasudus posted:what in the gently caress this isnt the drunk thread Totally sober, dude Don't blame us for that fuckin Melvin dropping a verbal flashbang
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May 3, 2013 05:27
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Metrilenkki posted:His words about being abandoned in the forest due to his superiors' incompetence? "Depressing, but not unanticipated" I don't really know any Finnish stereotypes, but that sounds incredibly British.
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May 3, 2013 06:48
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Hey Vasudus, please postcock all of Lord Gaga's posts and the replies to him in this thread (and also this post), so the thread stays good.
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May 3, 2013 11:34
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Talking with some kool dudes last night reminded me of a fantastic story of idiocy. My first time in Afghanistan our hooch was next to a really rowdy group of guys. Often times they would go out on missions and bring back souvenirs, old pistols, clothes, stuff like that. Well one day they brought back a monkey. They wanted to teach it to smoke and dip and be like movie monkey I guess. It was kind of mean but cool for a few days. Well some stuff comes up and they had to go out on a mission for a few days and we were busy sitting in our launchers farting and goofing off for about the same. So everything quiets down and we get back to our hooches. They go into theirs and it's a god damned disaster. This monkey freaked the gently caress out since they locked the poor thing in the hooch. It poo poo on and in EVERYTHING! Pillows, beds, the floor, in the fridge, in bags, loving everything. It chewed up wires and smashed their TVs and game systems, tore up photos and ate all their snacks. It ripped open cases of water, gatorade, and protein powder making this impossible to clean up slurry. We think it also got into their go fast workout stuff (Noxplode, Jack3d and the like) with either set off it's rampage or gave it the motivation to keep on destroying. They decide the monkey has to go and the next day take it and drop it off a few miles from the FOB. A couple days go back and Monkey found his way back to the FOB. Monkey was mad as a mother fucker and started attacking people. Where does the idiot part come in? One guy tried to kill the monkey, and I can't blame him since it was a violent little fucker and probably had rabies. He missed his first shot and blasted his buddy in the leg. The guys leg was so jacked up he had to get airlifted to Germany and lost his foot.
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May 3, 2013 18:08
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HATE CURES TRANNYS posted:Talking with some kool dudes last night reminded me of a fantastic story of idiocy. The Aristocrats.
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May 3, 2013 18:17
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The pre-workout supps explain the constant making GBS threads the monkey experienced.
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May 3, 2013 18:19
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Oh man, idiots in the military. Well I spent two years on PACAF at Kadena where, I swear to God, the parts of your brain related to common sense were surgically removed the moment you were promoted to E-7 or 0-5. I’ve suppressed most of my memories of the place aside from CoCo’s Curry to protect my sanity but a few stories stand out that fit well in this thread. Being the military teaches you that folks come in all shapes, sizes, and mental abilities but you will occasionally run into someone who is just aggressively stupid. Airman Butters (I can’t for the life of me remember his name, but Butters sounds correct in my head) was one of those aggressively stupid people. Butters was exactly what you think of when you hear “dirt bag airman” and he reveled in it. He was from West – by God – Virginia and wanted everyone to know it and was very loudly dismissive of ‘drat Yankees’ (Butters had a very tenuous grasp of US history – story is he was stationed in Japan and had no idea we had fought a war with them, I never was able to confirm this firsthand but I believe it because Butters was a loving moron). He was pudgy and wore thick glasses (that were always dirty), he had terrible personal hygiene and was always catching flak from the flight chiefs when it came to uniform and grooming standards which, considering we were crew chiefs, were already pretty drat lax in our unit. He had one of those expressions that you knew the lights were on but no one was home. He was always dirty; if I recall correctly his supervisor was tasked with making sure he showered each day and I’m pretty sure he had to literally buy the dude soap and shampoo although I doubt Butters actually used either. Did I mention he reveled in and was proud of all this? According to him he “wasn’t afraid to work hard and get his hands dirty” and was “a real mechanic” unlike the rest of us because we bathed and at least started the shift clean I guess. So yeah, Butters was this little pudgy disheveled hillbilly with a thousand yard  stare that thought he was God’s gift to the flight line. Butters also really liked his dip and always had a big wad stuffed in his bottom lip – even during formations. His love of chew is important for the story I’m about to tell.One day I was sitting spare on a jet looking over the forms when the pro-super’s pickup comes roaring up to my spot. A pilot was sitting in the back, a grizzled old major who I always liked crewing for because he was a chill as gently caress prior-enlisted. He leans over the truck bed and asks:  Airman nostalgia4infinity, you’re not loving retarded are you? No sir. Good, get me in the air as fast as you can.I got him launched out with no fuss and started walking towards the break room when I noticed just about every vehicle on the flight line parked about 10 spots down – Airman Butters’ spot. Smelling drama (which is like crack for maintainers) myself and a few other guys started walking down that way to see what the commotion was. We get a few spots away and see Butters standing at attention his face beet red being swarmed by just about every leadership person in our AMU. QA is squatting under the jet just shaking their heads incredulously. The expeditor sees us coming and just shakes his head and tells us to go elsewhere. Turns out the pilot I had just launched had noticed a small hydro leak during his prelaunch walk around and had asked Butters to keep an eye on it. This was normal on F-15’s; they leaked and residual fluid would drip out drain holes but it would stop once systems were pressurized and the seals expanded. After getting both motors running and cycling the flight controls, he asked Butters to check on that leak to which Butters dutifully replied that the pilot shouldn’t worry, he took care of it. Now when a pilot, who is about to take a 30 year old machine with a million moving parts and filled to the brim with explosive fuel on a supersonic joyride, asks you a specific question about the status of the aircraft, you tell them exactly what you are observing and any actions you may have taken or may need to take to address it. Even if the pilot has no clue how the guts of the jet work (many didn’t) you let them know so they can make an informed decision (usually they’ll ask you what you think and at the end of the day both you the pilot have to consent to the jet leaving the spot). You most certainly do not tell a pilot that he shouldn’t worry about it and you took care of it because a.) he’s going to worry about it, his life depends on it and b.) saying “you took care of it” implies that there was something wrong with the airplane and he’s going to want to know what it was. After much haranguing Butters finally tells this pilot that there was a leak but it wasn’t bad, he just stuffed some dip in the drain hole so he (the pilot) would make it past EOR (the last final glance-over inspection that a fighter gets at the literal end of the runway before it takes off). This idiot took some chewing tobacco from his disgusting craw and stuffed it in a drain hole to hide a potentially dangerous hydraulic leak. Understandably the pilot was not thrilled to hear this quick fix and immediately ground aborted. He had some very choice words for Butters. According to the launch assistant on the spot, the pilot told Butters he didn’t even want to see him touch a jet he was about to fly. Butters didn’t see the big deal with this as he (remember this dude is aggressively stupid) had done the same thing a ton of times. Suffice to say Butters spent the rest of his time at Kadena handing out tools in support. I believe he lost a stripe as well.
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May 3, 2013 19:01
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As someone from West Virginia, gently caress that retard. Way to make the rest of us look bad.
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May 3, 2013 19:18
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Holy poo poo. Aggressively stupid doesn't even cover it.
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May 3, 2013 23:52
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I think my head would literally explode if a Pro Super came and told me one of my guys pulled that poo poo. e: Like I feel that would be the one instance where "well sir, 'Airman Snuffy was a loving dumbass' should about cover it" would actually be the appropriate way to brief that at the production meeting.
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May 4, 2013 00:30
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HATE CURES TRANNYS posted:Talking with some kool dudes last night reminded me of a fantastic story of idiocy. This is the single greatest thing I have ever read on the internet next to that Cash4Gold cease and desist letter
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May 4, 2013 00:34
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If that monkey took a poo poo in its coveralls and plugged a hydraulic leak with it, we would be able to close this thread.
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May 4, 2013 18:05
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Mad Dragon posted:If that monkey took a poo poo in its coveralls and plugged a hydraulic leak with it, we would be able to close this thread. Well I have a story about a dude making GBS threads his coveralls.
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May 4, 2013 23:01
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Nostalgia4Infinity posted:Well I have a story about a dude making GBS threads his coveralls. Would you describe him as rather simian?
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May 4, 2013 23:16
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Snowdens Secret posted:Would you describe him as rather simian? Oddly enough yes.
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May 4, 2013 23:52
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We had a guy standing watch in the reactor control room that poo poo his pants on watch. When he finally got a watch relief, he trailed poo poo all through the control room and up the ladderwell. They made a nub clean it up. He was equally famous for going up to a guy doing sketches in berthing and offering him 50$ to draw a nude 6 breasted cat lady. Oh, he also spoke elvish.
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May 5, 2013 03:03
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What the hell is the deal with nukes?
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May 5, 2013 03:10
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That's not a nuke thing. Speaking Elvish is just being a loving wierdo and just makes you stand out awkwardly when everyone else is conducting department training in Klingon.
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May 5, 2013 03:13
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Reading this thread, I don't have a whole lot of stories that match up or are particularly interesting. I guess I always have this though: On the way out to the ship, our first flight was delayed which hosed everything up. We were all supposed to meet the ship in Bahrain but ended up spending three nights at the Pars hotel downtown instead, before we were to met up with a tanker in Djibouti. I'm sure a few people here have been to Bahrain. For those who haven't: I don't consider myself to be the of the highest moral standing or anything, but personally I think they should burn that fuckin' place to the ground. Some people from our group were getting hookers from the hooker bar on the first floor. So the plan was to pass the time me and a few others would go down to the desk and say we lost our keycard and then bust into whoever's room we knew got a hooker, and then I would yell "MORTAL COMBAT" from the top of my loving lungs and then we'd just embarrass the gently caress out of whoever was in the room by whatever means we could. (Mind you I haven't been sober since we were waiting for our first flight out of the Virginia airport.) The first guy's room we busted into (a nuke drop) was a pretty good catch. We slam the door open and find him on all fours on the bed beating it while this asian slave hooker was licking his butthole like honey was coming out of it. I yell "mortal combat" while two other guys shove him off the bed and we all have a good laugh while the hooker runs into the bathroom. Later the guy pretty much has no shame and is trying to talk us all into getting our buttholes licked while trying to beg us for beer money. A little later, someone said he saw one of the undes guys go up to his room with a hooker so we go ahead and pull the same act. Someone slams the door open and before I can yell out "mortal combat" I notice that this is the same slave whore girl the last nuke-drop dude had maybe an hour ago. This motherfucker is tongue deep in this hooker. Like in her mouth with his tongue. All I could say while they both stared at us was "you're kissing (nuke-drops) butt" and then we left somewhat defeated.
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May 5, 2013 04:50
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On the topic of making GBS threads, we once had someone smear an ungodly amount of poo poo in aft vls while on deployment. Being that they somehow never got caught, I wouldn't call it idiotic.
dougdrums fucked around with this message at 05:09 on May 5, 2013 |
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May 5, 2013 05:06
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Mortal Combat! 
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May 5, 2013 05:17
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