BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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factorialite: Mar 3, 2008; by Lowtax

I think I have the 14th pick but I'd like to announce that it's in play for either multiple dispersal picks, a pick and a player, or multiple players.

# ? May 13, 2013 14:54

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# ? May 23, 2024 07:49

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

factorialite posted:

I think I have the 14th pick but I'd like to announce that it's in play for either multiple dispersal picks, a pick and a player, or multiple players.

What do you want position wise?

# ? May 13, 2013 15:06

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Cthulhu Dreams posted:

Billy Williams is 1964 and Steve Carlton is 1978. I can come up with another piece as well - what do you need?

Edit: How about Al Rosen (1953) who went . 278 / .348 with 17 homers for the Krakow Dragons in the EC? Mogul rates him comprably offensively to Ron Santo (Al Rosen has a better batting eye even), but he overall rates lower because he's not as good defensively and is an injury risk, having a Hornsby-esque health score. That's why I use Santo over him, but he's a quality bat.

I like this package more than the Johan one. I'd be rolling the dice big time between Rosen and Garciaparra at 3b and SS respectively, though.

Anybody else want to weigh in? Will 1978 Carlton play in the SL?

e: note that if left to my own devices, I will likely use the 24th overall pick to select a starting pitcher.

# ? May 13, 2013 15:15

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

FairGame posted:

Anybody else want to weigh in? Will 1978 Carlton play in the SL?

Generally, lefty power pitchers get eaten alive by right-handed power hitters with patience. Guess what every single team in the Super League has in abundance?

Left-handed pitchers in the Super League are only consistently successful if they can get lots of ground balls and not a lot of walks.

# ? May 13, 2013 15:24

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

FairGame posted:

I like this package more than the Johan one. I'd be rolling the dice big time between Rosen and Garciaparra at 3b and SS respectively, though.

Anybody else want to weigh in? Will 1978 Carlton play in the SL?

e: note that if left to my own devices, I will likely use the 24th overall pick to select a starting pitcher.

Carlton and Santana both have the same problem - one they share with guys like Randy Johnson. Power lefties are a mixed bag in the SL, because most SL players have fantastic plate discipline, wildness means walks. But they can also strikeout a lot of guys. Mine has had 3 SL seasons, where he's posted ERAs both a full run above and below league average.

# ? May 13, 2013 15:27

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Eh. Whitey Ford did OK by me in the EC. I could live with another lefty starter.

So many trap picks in this game, though.

# ? May 13, 2013 15:39

ManifunkDestiny: Aug 2, 2005; THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN THE SEAHAWKS IS RUSSELL WILSON'S TAINT SWEAT

Seahawks #1 fan since 2014.

So am I still on the clock? Where is there a link to the draft sheet?

# ? May 13, 2013 15:50

Ice To Meet You: Mar 5, 2007

ManifunkDestiny posted:

So am I still on the clock? Where is there a link to the draft sheet?

You have an hour or two left I think.
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AkF311T6qtJidDZGRlVMQl9SNzV5NmZpbVl2cUo5bUE#gid=1

# ? May 13, 2013 15:54

factorialite: Mar 3, 2008; by Lowtax

Cthulhu Dreams posted:

What do you want position wise?

I actually have the 12th pick, and it'll be the 11th (I think) when uublog fails to show up, so it's going to be an awesome pick that requires an awesome package to move. I need everything but CF, basically, but the more I look the more likely it is that I'm going to get something incredible with this pick so I'm going to need a pretty incredible amount

# ? May 13, 2013 16:13

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

Gonna move Braun down a bit (he's hitting like poo poo), and move pitchers around slightly. I have 6 rounds of gauntlet data to work off of, and while trends aren't easy to come by given how random this poo poo can be, it seems pretty clear Ryan Braun doesn't enjoy Pandamonium Field.

Vs RHP
1. RF: Stan Musial
2. 1B: Albert Pujols
3. CF: Mickey Mantle
4. C: Yogi Berra
5. LF: Enos Slaughter ('42)
6. DH: Nick Johnson
7. 3B: Robin Ventura
8. SS: Gil McDougald
9. 2B: Nellie Fox

Vs LHP
1. RF: Stan Musial
2. CF: Mickey Mantle
3. 1B: Albert Pujols
4. C: Yogi Berra
5. 3B: Gil McDougald
6. LF: Enos Slaughter ('42)
7. 2B: Jose Vidro
8. DH: Ryan Braun
9. SS: Marty Marion

Bench (players not in either lineup)
C Walker Cooper
LF Enos Slaughter ('54)

PITCHERS
SP1 Walter Johnson
SP2 Roy Halladay
SP3 Mort Cooper
SP4 Kevin Brown
SP5 Ben Sheets

CL Jim Johnson
SU Chad Bradford
SR Bob Feller
SR Whitey Ford
MR Lon Warneke
LR Max Lanier

# ? May 13, 2013 16:14

ToiletofSadness: Mar 27, 2010

FairGame posted:

Eh. Whitey Ford did OK by me in the EC. I could live with another lefty starter.

So many trap picks in this game, though.

Did you not read the results from the SLCS? Okay, granted 12.1 IP is not the world's greatest sample size.

So, let's look at the Cultists 3 seasons in the SL and get a much better sample:
SLVII: 4.10 ERA. 237 IP, 134K
SLVIII: 2.09 ERA. 215.1 IP, 141K
SLIX: 4.53 ERA, 224.1 IP, 134K

So over those 3 seasons that averages out to a 3.60 ERA over 226 IP with 136K or 5.4 K/9. Average ERA in the Smasher League over the last 3 seasons would be in the 4.20 area; so a little over a half run above league average with Carlton's K/9 is fine for exactly where the Cultists use him: the back of the rotation. Just understand he's not going to be a reliable staff ace.

# ? May 13, 2013 16:47

StupidSexyMothman: Aug 9, 2010

factorialite posted:

I actually have the 12th pick, and it'll be the 11th (I think) when uublog fails to show up, so it's going to be an awesome pick that requires an awesome package to move. I need everything but CF, basically, but the more I look the more likely it is that I'm going to get something incredible with this pick so I'm going to need a pretty incredible amount

Your pick is 10th (moving up to 9th potentially), the spreadsheet starts on row 3 for pick 1.

My top pick (one after factorialite's, #11 as it stands now) is on the block as well; ideally I'm looking to move back for more picks but a quality starting pitching + a shortstop or catcher would be a tempting offer.

# ? May 13, 2013 17:02

Paul Zuvella: Dec 7, 2011

oldskool posted:

Your pick is 10th (moving up to 9th potentially), the spreadsheet starts on row 3 for pick 1.

My top pick (one after factorialite's, #11 as it stands now) is on the block as well; ideally I'm looking to move back for more picks but a quality starting pitching + a shortstop or catcher would be a tempting offer.

Ill trade my second rounder (pick 28) + 2004 Jimmy Rollins for your #11 pick.

# ? May 13, 2013 17:11

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Cthulhu Dreams posted:

Billy Williams is 1964 and Steve Carlton is 1978. I can come up with another piece as well - what do you need?

Edit: How about Al Rosen (1953) who went . 278 / .348 with 17 homers for the Krakow Dragons in the EC? Mogul rates him comprably offensively to Ron Santo (Al Rosen has a better batting eye even), but he overall rates lower because he's not as good defensively and is an injury risk, having a Hornsby-esque health score. That's why I use Santo over him, but he's a quality bat.

Assuming this is still on the table:

Trade Accepted

St. Louis Self-Congratulators give up:
24th overall pick in draft

Receive:
1953 Al Rosen
1964 Billy Williams
1978 Steve Carlton

# ? May 13, 2013 17:16

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

oldskool posted:

Your pick is 10th (moving up to 9th potentially), the spreadsheet starts on row 3 for pick 1.

My top pick (one after factorialite's, #11 as it stands now) is on the block as well; ideally I'm looking to move back for more picks but a quality starting pitching + a shortstop or catcher would be a tempting offer.

I could package something with Rudy York at Catcher if you're interested. And Gaylord Perry at SP.

# ? May 13, 2013 17:19

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

FairGame posted:

Assuming this is still on the table:

Trade Accepted

St. Louis Self-Congratulators give up:
24th overall pick in draft

Receive:
1953 Al Rosen
1964 Billy Williams
1978 Steve Carlton

Great, I go to bed and I wake to find that, once again, the Cardinals and their fans have ruined it for everyone. Not that trading your #1 pick in the draft for a bunch of crappy players that CthulhuDreams has no real interest in using isn't a fantastic strategy. Still, I suppose this is one of the things where I'm just going to have to let the children learn from their own mistakes. Trade approved.

# ? May 13, 2013 17:22

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Great, I go to bed and I wake to find that, once again, the Cardinals and their fans have ruined it for everyone. Not that trading your #1 pick in the draft for a bunch of crappy players that CthulhuDreams has no real interest in using isn't a fantastic strategy. Still, I suppose this is one of the things where I'm just going to have to let the children learn from their own mistakes. Trade approved.

It's my #2 pick in the draft :eng101:

...but yeah, if I hosed up, I hosed up. Seemed like it was an OK deal in IRC and it vastly improves my 3b (Gaetti), SP5 (Chuck Finley), and 1b (Paul Goldschmidt) status.

# ? May 13, 2013 17:37

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

ManifunkDestiny posted:

So am I still on the clock? Where is there a link to the draft sheet?

Your time is running out, sir.

# ? May 13, 2013 18:43

Beet: Aug 24, 2003

That was definitely a debacle of at least a medium magnitude. At any rate, I'm still prepared to offer both the 42nd pick and/or other considerations for a top-30 pick(s). Inquiries in IRC or otherwise.

# ? May 13, 2013 19:10

Monathin: Sep 1, 2011; ?????????
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Expansion Cup 9: Downing League Championship Series

The following games are a best-of-seven series for the title of Expansion Cup 9 Downing League Champion.

Beet has stated time and again that his goal when making the Pirates was to make a Super League quality team from the start. He has, by and large, succeeded. Holding the lowest ERA in the entire Expansion Cup. Thanks mostly in part to his mid-rotation of Paul Derringer and Frank Tanana. He has no hitters in his lineup that are under .300 OBA, and of which, only two are under .350. The Pirates won the Rainwater Division by a landslide, even if, strangely, one loss isn't accounted for.

Blackhawk Stadium, the Pirates' custom field, will host games 1, 2, 6, and 7 of the series.

The Rochester Generics, in their initial iteration, lost over a hundred games in their Expansion Cup, and promptly stuck around for what seems like more or less forever. Even managing to pull a short run in their final appearance in the Super League VIII Gauntlet. kw0134 has learned a lot in that time, mostly on how to get by not-quite-superstar players and a sutiably decent pitching staff. This has managed to get them to the EC Playoffs, unfortunately, they may have a long road ahead of them.

~~Rogers Centre~~ ~~The Skydome~~ The GENERIDOME will host games 3, 4, and 5 of the series.

The clear favorite is Beet, thanks to the supreme curbstomping of the Rainwater division, but let's see how things actually shake out...

quote:

PIRATES WIN SURPRISINGLY CLOSE OPENER

Mogadishu, Somalia - Sometimes, in fact, most of the time, all it comes down to is one run.

It could be easily said that for the majority of this game, the Generics were in control. With a 2-0 lead in the top of the second that would not be answered until the bottom of the fourth, and only then through the combined efforts of Lou Whittaker, Ernie Lombardi, Alan Trammell, and Eddie Yost. The Generics would move to keep just enough ahead in the following half as Nap Lajoie doubled to score a run, and then immediately proving that pride cometh before the fall by trying to push for an extra base and being thrown out at 3rd. The Pirates would not have an answer for that until the sixth, where an Elmer Smith double and an unlikely single from Kid Nichols allowed for run from Lombardi and Smith. For the first time in the game, the Pirates were in the lead.

A lead that would not last long, however, as Rochester would score again in the top of the seventh, off of a Charlie Hickman tag-up, much to the surprise of mostly everyone involved, to the point where Jackie Robinson would ground out in sheer bafflement.

For the next two innings, neither team seemed able to make any headway, and at the bottom of the ninth, it looked like the game was going to go on into extra innings. But there was a problem with that. That problem's name was Rafael Palmeiro, and he was up third in the order. And while Preacher Roe made short work of Abreu and Whitaker, his problem was an 85 mph fastball, which was a pitch that Palmeiro could, and did, handle easily. Right over the right field fence.

Afterwards, Palmeiro spoke with the crowd. "For the last time, no, I was not named for, or to be associated with, the 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle' of the same name. Furthermore, I do not stand with the Ninjas in their boycott of the Super-League, because that is literally the dumbest poo poo, and not just because I am on a team named the Pirates. the Pirate-Ninjas debate is over! Nobody won that debate, it was just drive into the ground by idiots! Ninjas are outplayed, and pirates are too mainstream anymore, they're both awful. Ditto robots and robot-alternatives, such as cyborgs, and especially zombies. All of nerd culture is played out. Forever. Stop asking me if I'm a loving ninja turtle!"

kw0134, ever the mark of his team's personality, had quite a few words to say. "That was a rather above-average game from both teams, and it is a disappointment that we lost. We hope not to lose more games, but there's no guarantee that we won't. So I suppose it's a moot point. Good luck to the Pirates in the next game, although I sincerely hope they have as poor luck as possible."

Curt Schilling will be starting next game to put the Generics on the board, while Vic Willis will attempt to extend the Pirates' lead.

Box Score

quote:

HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF, PIRATES UP 2-0

Mogadishu, Somalia - This game, while roughly revered in how it played out, was very much a case of 'second verse, same as the first'.

Once again, a team controlled the game for the vast majority of the innings - in this case, it was the Pirates with a 3-0 lead by the bottom of the second. And, once again, turnover happened in the sixth inning, where the Generics got on the board with a three run rally started by Jackie Robinson, and continued two outs later by Joe Medwick, Carl Furillo, Pee Wee Reese and Charlier Hickman. They would then push themselves to the lead in the top of the 8th, wresting control from the Pirates on a wide throw by Alan Trammell, allowing Joe Medwick to run past third and head home to push the lead.

The game would go scoreless until the bottom of the ninth once more, in which the Pirates would count on the spry Elmer Smith to walk, steal second, and then cross 3rd and hom on an Eddie Yost double. Not to gain the lead, but to push the game to extra innings.

The top of the tenth was a nail-biter for the Pirates, who, with a runner on third and one out, were forced to face the pinch hitting prowess of Mel Ott. Changing the usually servicable baseball for what would be a miniature cannonball, Jim Konstanty would pitch a 73 miles-per-hour change-up, that Mel Ott, due to the density of the new in-play ball, would ground to second baseman Whittaker, who would get out Duke Snider at second, then Mel Ott himself at first, ending the inning.

The Pirates would then prove that Alan Trammell is not the only shortstop prone to errors as, with the new cannonball in play, they would gain 2 outs before reacing first on a throwing error by Pee Wee Reese, before having to once again deal with Rafael Palmerio, who would double the cannonball down the left field line, allowing plenty of time for Lou Whittaker to round second and third for the game-winning run, putting the Pirates up 3-2.

Afterwards, Palmeiro would once again rant to the press. "And you know what else? I'm going to put down the Super League as played out. Seriously, this thing has been going for what. A year, maybe two? What have you to show for it? Your non-managerial attendance is terrible, your commissioner hates everyone, it's practically all about meta-narrative style - another thing you loving nerds ran into the ground. And when it's not narrative you guys just yell and whine about your precious statistics. And the only way to gleam any entertainment value out of is to run with a stupid gimmick that's going to kill you dead worse than anything else! I mean. A cannonball being pitched in the extra innings? If this wasn't a loving lawless wasteland known as Somalia, I'd quit in disgust."

kw0134 once again responded in his usual slightly better than neutral way. "Well, I was hoping to win that one, but we didn't. Their late rotation is better than ours, so we proably need to out-hit them in the next few games to stay alive. And I'm not sure how well we can do on that frount, if Mel Ott wasn't able to give us the edge we needed. I suppose it's been a good series at least. We've only lost by one run in both games. That's decent enough progress. I hope we can win the next few games. But if not, I suppose those are the breaks."

Don Newcombe will pitch for the Generics in the next game to finally get them on the board, while Paul 'Wait, really, Derringer?' Derringer will try to push for a 3-0 lead.

Box Score

quote:

PIRATES IN POSITION FOR SWEEP, GENERICS THOROUGHLY UNPHASED.

Rochester, NY - This game did not come down to one run. In fact, it wasn't even close.

Don Newcombe would give up every run in today's game. From Rafael's home run which would bean some poor Generic's fan in the face "just because I can" and Tramell's double to bring in Spud Davis to put the Pirates ahead 2-0 in the top of the second, to the fifth run rally that allowed Spud Davis to bring in Abreu, Trammell's single to bring in Palmeiro, and Elmer Smith's double to bring in Davis and Trammell, showing that out-hitting the Pirates was a long shot at best.

Paul Derringer, being the walkless Paul Derringer, gave the Rochester offense very little to work with, only giving up six hits, and not giving up a single run - the only time the Generics were able to score was when he, in spite, nailed Charlie Hickman in the face with a pitch, and was brought out for Frank Barrett, who gave up a run to Elmer Flick, pinch hitting for Erv Palica to bring in Pee Wee Reese. While Jack Banta kept the lead from becoming any more blistering than it already was, the Generics lost three easy outs in the bottom of the ninth, easily ending what was already a not-really-worth-paying-attention-to game.

kw0134, the ever enigmatic, spoke subduedly afterwards. "I suppose it can't be helped that the Pirates out-hit us. They're just better at gaining runs, and without walks, our offense can't generate nearly enough, I guess. Oh well, those are the breaks. I suppose I can see us being swept, at this point. It's unfortunate, but likely. I would like to say we're going to do our best next game, but I don't think that's going to necessarily be enough for us to pull ahead. Good work, Beet. You made a good team."

Palmeiro, once again the Pirates' roid-raged spokesperson, was livid at kw0134's remarks. "'Do our best'? What the hell do you think this is, little league bullshit? I mean, I know none of you are even really trying. You've got guys who gamble away their teams, dudes who try to recreate the team from a loving Simpsons episode, and then the Expansion Cup manager who has managed to barely crank out something for you assholes to see once a week! And now you've got this kw0134 guy, and what the hell's his deal? Is he supposed to be some overly neutral guy who vaguely sound depressed all the tiime? Is that his 'thing'? What the gently caress? That's garbage. The whole Super-League is garbage and I'm totally done with this series. Let's just sweep this rear end in a top hat and get on with it."

In the next game, Earl Moore will desperately try to prevent the sweep, while Warren Spahn will try to close the series out.

Box Score

quote:

PIRATES SWEEP GENERICS, SURPRISE AT AN ALL TIME LOW

Rochester, NY - In the end, at least they tried.

While the Rochester team is good, they were never really designed to be 'great', simply one of the middling Super-League teams. Meanwhile, the Pirates, as Pirates are wont to be, were out for blood.

When the score finally broke in the 3rd inning, it was 4 runs - a Billy Hamilton single, a Lou Whitaker single, and two RBIs from a double from the ever-spiteful Palmeiro - to the Generics' measly 1, even if that 1 was a home run from Jackie Robinson. But the Generics, ever determined to catch up and place somewhere above their initial status of 'just okay', took the next two innings to catch up. The first inning was a single from Furillo to push a Medwick on second home. And the second was Jackie Robinson proving why he's called Jackie Robinson, by bringing Duke Snider and Earl Moore home with a home run that whizzed straight into the Rochester bleachers. Up 5-4, things were looking good for the Rochester team, to the point where they managed to even push their score to 6-4 off of the batting prowess of the greatest baseball-playing bunny who ever lived, Johnny Hopp. After that somewhat embarassing show, Saphn was tied up and dragged off as Mark Thrmond took the mound.

And this is when it would all go south.

With two outs, Bobbu Abreu would bring in a walked Eddie Yost, and Lou Whittaker would bring in a Frank McCormick who had also been walked by Ken Ryan. In one inning, the Pirates had closed the distance. It once again all came down to the ninth inning. By now, it should be obvious that the Generics were not that great at last minute rallys, compared to the Pirates, who brought in Wally Berger, who scored in Kirk Gibson - pinch running for Ernie Lombardi, and Billy Hamilton, who singled down the third base line to bring in Alan Trammell. You would think that the Generics would be able to close the gap in the bottom of the nith, and with Jackie and Nap on base and no outs, you'd be welcome to think that they were waiting for a hard hit to bring them in.

Unfortunately, Willie Hernandez, at that very moment, learned how to be a competent reliever. Getting a fly out from Lombardi, a line out from the still-somehow-subbed-in Hopp, and striking out Carl Furillo for the win.

Afterwards, Beet took the podium. "Well, that was easy enough. And GVOLTT, I hear you've thoroughly embarassed tatankatonk, which works out well for me - I must admit, you're probably one of the better rookies this season. But you're still a rookie, and I've finally found a team that click. These aren't the Dervishes, they're a whole new breed of team, ready to pillage and plunder for their win. Now you can stick by the power of electricity and lightning, but the sails won't swing in your favor, friend. Somali is coming to clean house, and they're starting with the lowly, awful state of Connecticut!"

Asked for his commentary on this series, Expansion League volunteer commissioner Monathin was as distracted as he was distraught. "God dammit, can't you see I'm busy! They're onto me. They've summoned the Skyhawks to take me down. I can't escape, I can't believe I'm going to be dragged away for this bullshit cup like this. They're not going to hear the last of me, you hear!?"

The Somali Pirates will face the Connecticut Thunderstorms, on more or less full rest for both teams, in the Expansion Cup 9 Larkin-Downing Championship.

Box Score

Monathin fucked around with this message at 21:46 on May 13, 2013

# ? May 13, 2013 21:36

ManifunkDestiny: Aug 2, 2005; THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN THE SEAHAWKS IS RUSSELL WILSON'S TAINT SWEAT

Seahawks #1 fan since 2014.

'54 Willie Mays

# ? May 13, 2013 21:39

GVOLTT: Dec 27, 2012; Honestly, I don't know what I want to put here, so I'm going with this.

Well, even though I know I'm pretty much doomed in the EC Championship, my lineup will be the same as last time. Luis Castillo will continue to be the DH for my home games.

# ? May 13, 2013 21:43

Paul Zuvella: Dec 7, 2011

With the 6th pick of Dispersal Draft IX, the Southie Hitmen somehow select:

1989 Barry Lamar Bonds.

Pungry is on the clock.

# ? May 13, 2013 21:49

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

I've already talked about the Landers before. They've got unstoppable pitching, unstoppable hitting, and just outlasted the Cultists in a series between the two best teams in the Super-League this year. The fact that any of you picked the Losers is kind of baffling to me, and I say that regardless of the actual results of this series.

If the Losers were healthy, they might be on par with the Landers. But they're missing their best player, Oscar Charleston, and one of their best pitchers, Nolan Ryan. Even without then, the Losers made it to the Finals, though, and that's a testament to their quality. Still, in a battle between two great teams, you just have to give to the edge to the one with fewer crippling injuries.

Game 1

Don May posted:

LOSERS TAKE OPEN 7-6 IN 10 INNINGS

Rockford- Going into this series, many wondering if the Losers were simply too banged up to compete.

Missing their top position player, Oscar Charleston, as well as one of their best starters, Nolan Ryan, and facing a team that had won 107 games in the regular season, the Losers certainly appeared to be in real trouble. And with the Landers holding onto a 6-4 lead in the bottom of the eighth, those fears appeared to be completely justified.

Still, this was not the first time that the Losers had faced adversity, and they were ready. Even after Joe Nathan got the first two outs of the inning, the Losers had confidence that they could pull something together, and that confidence was rewarded as Kevin Youkilis and Joe Cronin hit back-to-back doubles which, coupled with a Roberto Alomar single, scored two runs, tying the game at 6-6. The Landers, however, were a good enough team to not let anymore damage be done, as Rivera quickly but a damper on the rally. Neither team scored in the ninth, and the teams were set for extra-inning action.

The Landers' had their best chance to win the game in the top of the tenth, but a key baserunning error by Joe DiMaggio, who was thrown out at third trying to take an extra base on a George Brett single, ultimately cost them their chance to score a run, and their half of the inning ended with the score still tied 6-6.

That gave the Losers' just the opportunity they needed. With the left-handed Craig Lefferts coming on to pitch a second inning in relief, which made a certain amount of sense considering that Speaker and O'Doul, lefties both, would be due up third and fourth in the inning, it was up to Kevin Youkilis to get things going for his team. And he played that role to perfection, hitting a long double to put the winning run at second. Lefferts, however, was not going to give in easily, and got the next two batters out on a pop up and strike out, respectively. That brought up Tris Speaker, who easily knocked Lefferts' second pitch of the at-bat for a single, scoring Youkilis and giving the Losers a 7-6 victory and a 1-0 series lead.

mrnoun, owner of the Landers, claimed to be satisfied with the outcome of the game, "Now that it's almost over. Now that everything is almost over, I want people to be happy in these final hours. I know what I am about to do to the Rockford Losers, and it will be horrible, and beautiful. A nightmare, but a glorious nightmare. But before we enter in the grand guignol, I wanted the Losers to have this one last moment of happiness. And I want him to be able to hold onto his Intercontinental and Heavyweight Titles. If I swept him, they'd belong to me, and, where I'm going, I have no need of them. It is my destiny to travel to the land of the Macho Men and unleash the progressive apocalypse upon the Super-League, and when that day comes, you will all be able to say with a hint of irony that "Punk is dead"! This day is coming, children of the moon, when the Super-League is finally redeemed by the only man who loves it enough to burn it to the ground to save it!"

These mad ramblings should take away from the Losers' victory, however, as Humungus was quick to point out, "mrnoun, I respect you as an owner, as a team builder, but your obsession with some manner of progressive apocalypse will be your undoing. I do not care for spirituality or religion. My only religion is the breaking of my enemies so that my power continues to grow. The only hymn I understand is rhythmic sound of my men beating a rival to death with baseball bats, and the only communion I take is the blood of my fallen foes drunk from a chalice made of their own skulls. mrnoun, I don't want to win because I believe it is my destiny, or because I think there is some greater calling for me. I want to win, I will win, because I am the best, and I WILL BE CHAMPION! I have grown weary of these protestations of greatness, of fate, or hidden excellence! I have the best team, I will prove that in this series, I will be champion, and then my great team will break the Macho Men! That is all their is to it, mrnoun!"

Game 2 will take place in Rockford. Roger Clemens will try and even the series for the Landers as Don Drysdale will try and give the Losers a 2-0 series lead heading into three games on the moon.

GAME NOTES

-In a bizarre twist showing the consistency of each team's lineup, every single position player for both teams reached base safely at least once in this game.

-It was not clear why Joe Nathan was asked to pitch a third inning in relief, but it seems clear that he simply did not have the energy to do it, as it was that third inning where the Losers were able to tie the game 6-6.

Box Score

Game 2

Don May posted:

LANDERS EVEN SERIES WITH 8-2 DRUBBING

Rockford- Sometimes, a team just has a bad day.

The Landers, rebounding from a disappointing 7-6 loss in Game 1 of the series, manhandled the Losers today, taking an easy 8-2 win, and tying this best-of-seven series at one game apiece going into three games on the moon.

Admittedly, some of the damage was done by a pair of errors made by Joe Cronin, which led to three unearned runs, but Cronin's mediocre defense was well-known to the Losers going into this series, with the calculation being that his superior offensive skills, especially for a middle infielder, would make up for such defensive follies. Over the course of a full season, it is likely the the trade-off is to the Losers' benefit but today it made what was already a tricky game for the Losers into a game they had no chance of winning.

More troubling, though, was the performance of Don Drysdale. While he only gave up three earned runs in the course of five and two-thirds innings, which is bad, but not abysmal, he only was able to strike out two Landers' hitters on the game. While the Landers' offense is quite good, having scored the 2nd-most runs of any team in either league, it is not a team that is impossible to strikeout, as most of the middle part of the order is at least mildly vulnerable to right-handed power pitching. And, even if they were not, a power pitcher like Drysdale simply needs to have more than two strikeouts in an outing to be minimally competent.

Humungus agreed with this assessment in his post-game commentary, "Drysdale! You have failed me, and you have failed my subjects dwelling in Rockford! With this loss, you weaken the confidence of the masses in their noble despot, and when the masses revolt against me and are brutally suppressed by my elite Red Squad, it will be their blood on your hands, Don Drysdale! But we are not yet at that point. This series can and will be salvaged. mrnoun has proven that his team is more formidable than I had thought. No matter, my team is as yet superior, and if we must prove that by going to the moon and crushing him there, so be it! If mrnoun thinks we are so easily cowed, then he will learn a bitter lesson. Blood will be spilled on the moon! Of that you have my guarantee!"

Speaking of mrnoun, he seemed satisfied, if not surprised, by the win, "I want you all to enjoy this moment. I want you all to savor it. Because the end is coming, and I am here to deliver that end. The Super-League must burn to the ground, must be atomized, annihilated, abjured, must finally be finished. Even if I could stop myself, prevent this Armageddon from coming, I wouldn't. Because the time has come to bid farewell to all that has come before and become something new. In just a few more games, it will be time for the Landers to journey to the realm of the Macho Men and kill a legend. And once that happens, nothing will ever be the same again. So, until then, take in these last moments. Remember them fondly, because they cannot last."

Game 3 will take place 240,000 miles above the Earth, where Tom Seaver will try and get the Losers back on track as Maddux looks to keep home field advantage for the Landers.

GAME NOTES

-Roger Clemens was lifted after only five innings and 72 pitches, though the right-hander assured reporters that he was taken out because the Landers held a 6-2 lead going into the sixth inning, and mrnoun believed that such a lead was insurmountable. Clemens elaborated, "Who the gently caress cares? Ain't like the Losers were gonna come back anyway. Let's be real drat clear. I'm Roger Clemens, I was on the loving Simpsons, and I beat a loving perjury charge. I'm basically unstoppable, and I sure as gently caress weren't going to be stopped by Joe loving Cronin."

Box Score

Game 3

Don May posted:

LANDERS HAMMER LOSERS 10-1

The Moon!- Sometimes, a team just has two bad days.

This was not a close game. The Landers simply mauled the Losers' pitching, getting six earned runs off of Tom Seaver in only five innings. On the other side, the Losers' hitting disappeared, with Maddux allowing only three hits over seven innings. While the Losers did tack on a run and a few more hits off of Keith Foulke, the game was already effectively over by the point, with that late rally merely preventing a 10-0 whitewash. Adding insult to injury, Joe Cronin made another error today leading to another unearned run. Comically enough, the Landers have now scored four unearned runs thanks to Cronin over the past two games, while the Losers have only scored three runs total in that span.

Suffice to say, this series has not been trending in the Losers' favor.

It was impossible for Humungus to ignore this, so he was forced to address it in his post-game comments, "It does not matter that we have been routed in the last two games. If we had lost by one run, by ten runs, but fifty runs, a loss is still just a loss! mrnoun, you think us beaten, but you are wrong! We are a much more resilient team than you could imagine. We are from Rockford, a desolate town where the very earth seems inimical to life. The world turned its back on Rockford, and expected us to wither and die! But we did not. We survived, and we grew hard and savage. We left behind the weakness of civilization and became warriors. You look down on us from the moon and mock us! The time for mockery is over, mrnoun! You have bloodied us, but you have not beaten us! This series is far from over! We will not lose!

As has become usual, mrnoun was off in his own little world, "When I was a boy, not that young, old enough to remember, but still a boy, grunge came. And grunge was the most destructive force in musical history. Grunge came and suddenly everyone believed that you didn't need to be a good musician to create good songs, you didn't need to push musical forms, to experiment, you just needed a few chords and daddy issues, and that would be enough. And that set us all back for decades. And if I could go back to 1991, to that year before it all went wrong, I don't know that I'd be able to change history. I don't know that I should, because you have to let people reap what they sow. So, I wouldn't warn them, I wouldn't try and change anything, I'd just sit back and enjoy that last moment before everything changed. I have beaten the Losers in the last two games by a combined score of 18-3. You know, in your hearts, that this series is over. I give credit to the Losers, they are a good team, but they are not in my league. I have transcended the Super-League. I don't belong here anymore. It's time to change everything."

Game 4 will still be on the moon. The Losers, reeling to say the least, will turn to Jerry Koosman to staunch the bleeding, while the Landers turn to Rick Reuschel to keep up the pressure.

GAME NOTES

-Josh Gibson had a minor injury and took the day off. It was later revealed that his professed illness was actually just a ruse so that Josh Gibson could go on a series of zany adventures, none of which will be recounted here as they would take far too much time and space to relate.

-MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Box Score

Game 4

Don May posted:

LANDERS CONTINUE TO BEAT LOSERS TO DEATH, WIN 7-2

MOONland- Sometimes, a team just has a few bad days in a row.

The Losers did look better today, but, then again, when losing 7-2 is considered an improvement, something has gone very, very wrong.

In terms of the game, it was much like the two that preceded it. The Landers took an early and the Losers, seemingly shell-shocked, found themselves unable to mount any sort of concerted offensive response, although, once again, they did do a bit better once Keith Foulke entered the game, leading many experts to believe that if the Losers could somehow give mrnoun enough brain damage to start Keith Foulke for each of the remaining games of the series, the Losers might just have a chance.

Unfortunately, mrnoun does not seem be brain damaged or, more accurately, whatever brain damage he has appears to be affecting a different portion of his mind. He told the media after the game that, "Tomorrow will be special. Tomorrow is the day when you all realize just how serious I am about all of this, how serious I am about taking down the Macho Men and bringing and end to their era. Tomorrow, I will not only defeat the Losers, but I will bury them. I will not be doing this out of malice. Despite their taste for terrible rock music, and despite the fact that Rockford spawned Cheap Trick, I do not do this out of spite. I do it so that you can all see what I'm capable of. The world must bear witness, the Earth and the Moon, all will see the coming of a new era!"

Rick Reuschel, the winning pitcher, was not quite as wedded to the idea of progressive revolution, "If I could put my message into words that a person from Rockford could understand: Whatever happened to all this season's Losers of the year? Every time I got to thinking, Here'd they disappear? But when I woke up, Mom and Dad are rolling on the couch. Rolling numbers, rock and rollin', Got my KISS records out. Your Mommy's all right. Your Daddy's all right. They just seem a little weird. Surrender. Surrender. But don't give yourself away!" Reuschel, of course, quoting "Surrender" by Cheap Trick, which was somehow a popular song back in the day.

Humungus did not appreciate that taunt, "NO MAN TAUNTS ME WITH CHEAP TRICK AND LIVES! I WILL BURY YOU, RICK REUSCHEL! I WILL BURY YOU SO DEEP THAT NO MAN WILL EVER FIND YOU! AND I WILL BURY THE LANDERS! I WILL NO LONGER BEAR THESE INSULTS! I WILL NO LONGER TOLERATE THESE TAUNTS! YOU WILL ALL PAY FOR YOUR DISRESPECT! YOU WILL ALL BLEED FOR ME!"

Game 5 is a potential elimination game. The Landers hold a 3-1 series lead in this best-of-seven series, and the Landers will now send out Pedro Martinez to finish off the Losers once and for all. The Rockford club will be fighting for bare survival, and will turn to Satchel Paige to get them to a Game 6.

GAME NOTES

-Joe Cronin did not have an error. That counts as progress in this series.

-Incidentally, Cheap Trick did not write "Cum on Feel the Noize". Which is weird, because I really thought they had.

Box Score

Game 5

Don May posted:

LANDERS WIN CHAMPIONSHIP WITH 16-1 MANSLAUGHTER OF LOSERS

Moon City, USA- Sometimes, a team just...holy gently caress, what the hell happened to the Losers?

Now, seriously, how the gently caress did this happen? They had a good regular season, a good post-season, and then they were outscored 41-6 in the last four games of this series.

And today's game wasn't so much a game as it was an execution as the Landers simply broke the Losers into tiny, little pieces and then took those pieces, put them back together, fired them in a kiln, and then broke the team into little pieces again just to be extra thorough. They then took those twice-broken pieces to a nearby rocket ship and blasted them into the sun. And then used mass drivers to increase the sun's mass to the point at which it could form a supernova, so that the pieces could be destroyed one more time.

It was basically as close as a baseball game could get to murder.

Humungus did not have much to say after this defeat, "I...I...I need to think. This was not supposed to happen. Not like this. I must go now. Farewell." Before abruptly departing on a shuttle back to Earth where a long off-season of uncertainty awaits him. His team was beaten, and beaten badly, and he will have to consider whether the loss was because of a small sample size, or something endemic to his team. In better news, Oscar Charleston and Nolan Ryan will recover from their injuries in time for opening day.

mrnoun was only slightly less taciturn, "So now you all see. You all see that I am the man to beat Smasher Dynamo, and that this is the team to beat the Macho Men. We have beaten the Cultists, we have beaten the Losers, we have decimated our own division to the point where every single one of them is likely to be relegated in the Gauntlet. And now it's time to take the last step, the step that has killed so many other championship teams. We must fight the Macho Men and bring down their entire corrupt regime. It's always darkest before the dawn."

This drew a quick response from Smasher Dynamo, who now stands ready to take on the Luna Landers in the Commissar's Cup Challenge. "mrnoun, I accept your challenge. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!"

GAME NOTES

-Yesterday, CraigK predicted that, "the Landers are going to win in five and the final game score will be like 16-3." How did he know? HOW DID HE KNOW?

-The Landers' Championship banner:

Box Score

Pick 'em: The End of the Road
Pick the winner, number of games (best-of-nine), and final score
Luna Landers @ Macho Men

# ? May 13, 2013 22:36

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

CraigK posted:

Anyway, the Landers are going to win in five and the final game score will be like 16-3.

Nailed it.

(16-1 is like 16-3)

# ? May 13, 2013 22:42

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

We're going to have a progressive rock apocalypse here.

Landers in 8, final score 6-2.

# ? May 13, 2013 22:44

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

I feel less bad about my Pandas getting ritually murdered every time I faced the Landers.

I feel more bad about being in the same division as them.

I feel even more bad about losing to teams other than the Landers at a pretty high rate too.

# ? May 13, 2013 22:49

Robert Deadford: Mar 1, 2008; Ultra Carp

Nobody beats the Macho Men.

Macho Men in 9, final game 6-4

Also, because it's bedtime in Poland and I'm tired and I'll probably be too busy in the morning,

Once it's my pick, the Krakow Dragons select Greg Maddux, unless he's already been taken, in which case don't do anything!

# ? May 13, 2013 22:51

GVOLTT: Dec 27, 2012; Honestly, I don't know what I want to put here, so I'm going with this.

Pick 'em: The End of the Road
Pick the winner, number of games (best-of-nine), and final score
Luna Landers @ Macho Men, 8 games, 8-5

# ? May 13, 2013 22:56

Beet: Aug 24, 2003

Landers in 8, 3-1

# ? May 13, 2013 22:58

Pungry: Feb 26, 2011; JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.

With the seventh pick in the dispersal draft, the Foul Pole Penguins select '01 Alex Rodriguez. I know he is cursed and whatever but I need a good bat and a shortstop and this fits both!

# ? May 13, 2013 23:01

Robert Deadford: Mar 1, 2008; Ultra Carp

Robert_Deadford posted:

Once it's my pick, the Krakow Dragons select Greg Maddux, unless he's already been taken, in which case don't do anything!

So I guess we'll shore up that pitching, then! With the 8th pick, Krakow snares '89 Greg Maddux

And now I can sleep.

# ? May 13, 2013 23:09

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

Landers in 9, final score 6-5

# ? May 13, 2013 23:27

ToiletofSadness: Mar 27, 2010

Cool, so I've basically built the 90s Braves of the Super-League, except the Braves actually won a World Series title in the 4th season of their post-1990 turnaround and they actually had competitive showings in their 2 other World Series appearances.

So, why exactly, did my starting pitching fail so tremendously in this series? As I see it, Cronin potentially cost me one winnable game at home. And I really didn't have high hopes for Koosman's start, but I sure as gently caress wasn't going to willingly start Alex Fernandez in any sort of playoff situation. But why exactly did Seaver and Paige get so thoroughly battered while his starters cruised right through my lineup without resistance? Over the 5 games of the series, I don't really see any significant disparity in Ks or BBs; just hits and, more precisely, XBHs and HRs.

edit: I do wish congratulations to mrnoun in his upcoming challenge against the Macho Men and wish to take nothing away for how well his team performed this year. But I guess I don't quite understand how my staff was able to manhandle the Coburns, which I think is the best offensive team in the DL, but then got outscored by 40+ runs in the last 4 games of the finals here.

ToiletofSadness fucked around with this message at 23:43 on May 13, 2013

# ? May 13, 2013 23:31

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

Savor it, boys. Whatever happens with the Macho Men, no one can ever take this away from us.

We go now to our deaths, not by our choice, but because we are who we are. We don't fear the Reaper. It's pretty stupid of us, because the Reaper is, like, seriously scary, but that's who we are.

Yes, we go to our deaths. But all things die. Men die. Teams die, especially if Bruzer is involved. Even stars die. And someday, perhaps very soon, the Macho Men will die.

Rockford Losers, oh worthiest of foes, I would call you kindred spirits if your taste in music didn't suck so hard. And so I charge you: should we fail, you must take up the mantle. Defeat the Marauder, destroy the Cultists, and bring an end to the Savage King's reign! Do not let our deaths be in vain!

And so I will leave you all with these parting words, my closing benediction for the Super League:

You are all terrible.
Get some drat pitching, eight of my guys hit over .300 for the postseason against the best you could offer.
And despite it all, may each of you find, if not success and happiness, then peace and contentment in the knowledge that at least you fought to the end.

And so it goes.

# ? May 13, 2013 23:38

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

Pick 'em: The End of the Road
Pick the winner, number of games (best-of-nine), and final score
Luna Landers @ Macho Men in 5, 15-2

Go big or go home nerds

# ? May 13, 2013 23:45

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

Also, while I'm thinking of it, 99% of grunge was forgettable crap, and Eddie Vedder, to take a random example, is a pretty horrible singer. That said, it was an absolutely necessary response to the horrors of hair metal, and the resurgence of actually interesting rock (even if little of it ever gets remotely close to the mainstream) could never have happened without it. And Ten was a pretty good album on its own merits, especially the B side, Vedder or no.

# ? May 14, 2013 00:12

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Macho Men in 9 (7-2)

# ? May 14, 2013 00:51

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

mrnoun posted:

Teams die, especially if Bruzer is involved.

Can what was never born technically die

# ? May 14, 2013 01:56

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 23, 2024 07:49

GrickleGrass: Dec 18, 2011; I speak for the trees.

Man, you guys poaching draft picks from the newbies are like a bunch of loving salivating vultures. Especially you, Cthulhu, shame on you. At least some of us have the gumption to not take advantage of poor, defenseless new owners for their valuable draft picks.

So, who wants to trade me their draft pick for a bunch of my incredibly shiny turds? They are so drat shiny, let me tell you. Some of them even have names you've probably heard of, which pretty much is assurance they will be a great player in the SL. Hit me up if you want some totally legit turds. From my bench to your field for the price of one useless draft pick that could be anyone, come on, I mean, do you really want to have to worry about picking some guy who might not even be good? Boy, I have some polished shiny loving turds right here. Guaranteed fresh. No wonders, no worries, no stress, no mess-- just some good ol' grade A turds for sale for the price of one (1) of your draft picks.

Thanks, let me know. I expect many great offers, so you'd better trade me your pick fast before I change my loving mind and decide I want all these turds for myself.

EDIT:

Turds of Interest:
Old rear end Rickey Henderson - He's old, but he still draws walks and steals bases. That makes him an ideal candidate to lead your offense!
Impotent Vlad Guerrero - Sure, he's old and can't get it up, but he still swings at everything which means he's guaranteed to make contact sometimes.
Rafael Palmeiro - Doesn't belong here. Not a turd. He's actually really, very good and young. An amazing player. So amazing I have no idea why I'd ever want to get rid of him. That means you give me more for him than he's worth. Much more. Because you don't know any better and you remember seeing him play as a boy.
Lots of old pitchers who suck as much as your loving pitchers will suck - I got 'em by the bargain. You think your pitching staff might suck? Well-- take three or four of my failed pitchers I have no interest in-- hell-- some of them never left the feeders! Surely the way to improve your rotation is to deepen it further with more players that other people never wanted.
Some relievers - Does your relief staff suck? So does mine-- but that's okay, cause some of these guys are guaranteed to maybe perform better than your relievers. I say this because the vast majority of them might as well be the loving same. So take mine!
A bench deep with sore asses - They don't play games for me, so why would they play games for you? Who cares-- why, when you're getting four of them at once for only ONE of your players (or a pick) that means it's a goddamn bargain!
I'm sure I got more! I just can't remember them off the top of my head because there's so many good ones!

GrickleGrass fucked around with this message at 03:44 on May 14, 2013

# ? May 14, 2013 03:33

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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