terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

«‹›1446 »

Symbolic Butt: Mar 22, 2009; (_!_); Buglord

I would love to work remotely, like a really good job here in the 3rd world would be like $13k/year.

come on yospos hire me I must be super cheap

# ? May 23, 2013 19:56

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# ? May 11, 2024 22:39

Symbolic Butt: Mar 22, 2009; (_!_); Buglord

I'm not serious about hiring me though, I'm terrible

# ? May 23, 2013 19:57

Garbd: Dec 29, 2008

so xcode/objc... p good stuff, lets talk about it

my take: the syntax is just great! NSVariables! UIWowzersLooksGood!

i need some core data stat

# ? May 23, 2013 21:08

DONT THREAD ON ME: Oct 1, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo; Floss Finder

babies first development ecosystem

# ? May 23, 2013 21:10

Nomnom Cookie: Aug 30, 2009

chumpchous posted:

do you accept applications from terrible developers willing to relocate

Why would you want to hire someone looking to move to the south. Might as well hang up a RACIST poo poo EMPLOYEES WANTED sign

# ? May 23, 2013 21:10

double sulk: Jul 2, 2010

AWWNAW posted:

my group desperately needs more developers but we're located in the American south which means we ain't finding poo poo and my boss doesn't want to hire remotely and I can kinda sympathize with him

the remote dev we have now is constantly confused as to what's going on

also I committed several shameful hacks today that will later blossom into bugs

remote still being in the US? I think good communication (agile :barf:

) helps that but really it shouldn't be that bad

I still kinda want to learn C# but I don't really know if I feel like making Windows Store Apps for Windows 8 Pro or Windows Phone 8 Apps for the Windows Phone 8. ASP.NET MVC gets you into the same exact realm as just doing Rails and at that point it'd probably be more worthwhile learning Play/Scala or something

assuming you basically wanna say gently caress anything but the 1-2 good phones right now, how miserable is Android development? basically right now I just want to make apps/anything that's not web apps and obviously iOS is the biggest market, but there's a billion iOS apps

# ? May 23, 2013 21:16

Nomnom Cookie: Aug 30, 2009

learn one thing until you actually know it well and aren't sulk

# ? May 23, 2013 21:49

DONT THREAD ON ME: Oct 1, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo; Floss Finder

Nomnom Cookie posted:

Why would you want to hire someone looking to move to the south. Might as well hang up a RACIST poo poo EMPLOYEES WANTED sign

ummm there are way more black people in the south, it's like being the opposite of a racist

in the north it's like "oh we're not racist, we love the 2 black people we allow to live in our gated communities"

# ? May 23, 2013 21:54

Posting Principle: Dec 10, 2011; by Ralp

gucci void main posted:

remote still being in the US? I think good communication (agile ) helps that but really it shouldn't be that bad

I still kinda want to learn C# but I don't really know if I feel like making Windows Store Apps for Windows 8 Pro or Windows Phone 8 Apps for the Windows Phone 8. ASP.NET MVC gets you into the same exact realm as just doing Rails and at that point it'd probably be more worthwhile learning Play/Scala or something

assuming you basically wanna say gently caress anything but the 1-2 good phones right now, how miserable is Android development? basically right now I just want to make apps/anything that's not web apps and obviously iOS is the biggest market, but there's a billion iOS apps

android is somewhat sane if you limit yourself to > API level 14, but the docs still aren't as good as apples, and there's still nothing as good as grand central dispatch

# ? May 23, 2013 22:27

Share Bear: Apr 27, 2004

Nomnom Cookie posted:

learn one thing until you actually know it well and aren't sulk

man self control is at an historic low imo

it is so hard for me to focus when you can look up anything, in any language, instantaneously

# ? May 23, 2013 22:31

Share Bear: Apr 27, 2004

you can drink your own pisss

# ? May 23, 2013 22:32

Janitor Prime: Jan 22, 2004; PC LOAD LETTER

What da fuck does that mean; Fun Shoe

Share Bear posted:

you can drink your own pisss

quote:

Now you�re Spanish: in the country of Spain what each man pisses, he's used to brushing his teeth and red gums with, every morning, so the fact that your teeth are so polished just shows you�re the more full of piss.

owned

Janitor Prime fucked around with this message at 22:41 on May 23, 2013

# ? May 23, 2013 22:38

Garbd: Dec 29, 2008

chumpchous posted:

babies first development ecosystem

so yeah it's easy to use whats wrong wit that? my other coding experiences consist of writing c with vim and using adobe poo poo for AS(which caused me to look into xcode/objc in the first place). Dabbled with other langs but can't really make anything with em and hoo boy get me outta here.

also,

# ? May 23, 2013 23:28

Nomnom Cookie: Aug 30, 2009

use intellij to code java and open your eyes to the power of a real ide and the productivity of a real ecosystem

# ? May 23, 2013 23:32

Zlodo: Nov 25, 2006

Armourking posted:

im the vidya game written in java

# ? May 23, 2013 23:35

Posting Principle: Dec 10, 2011; by Ralp

did u know you can do more than just java with eclipse?

# ? May 23, 2013 23:38

Zlodo: Nov 25, 2006

Jerry SanDisky posted:

did u know you can do more than just java with eclipse?

why would anyone use eclipse for anything else than java

"let me install an ide that is bloated to hell because it has a million features for java but use it for a diff language where those features don't work" - no one ever

well i guess it can quick fix ur spelling in comments lol

# ? May 23, 2013 23:43

Squinty Applebottom: Jan 1, 2013

c# owns especially if you want to make software people will buy and arent some awful ~*social*~ startup

# ? May 24, 2013 00:49

AppleCobbler: Feb 8, 2003; remember that time I was just chilling out and definitely not having a massive meltdown? right guys? guys???

https://joindiaspora.com/posts/1653418

Just a little programmer humor for you all heh

# ? May 24, 2013 01:06

DONT THREAD ON ME: Oct 1, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo; Floss Finder

heh

just as good as engineering humor, if you ask me

# ? May 24, 2013 01:08

CamH: Apr 11, 2008

AWWNAW posted:

my group desperately needs more developers but we're located in the American south which means we ain't finding poo poo and my boss doesn't want to hire remotely and I can kinda sympathize with him

the remote dev we have now is constantly confused as to what's going on

also I committed several shameful hacks today that will later blossom into bugs

yo i'll move to the south on the following conditions:

1. $1m/yr salary (so i dont have to interact or live near many plebeian southerners)
2. it should be understood that i will not participate in anything with any employees outside of work hours

# ? May 24, 2013 01:21

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

chumpchous posted:

heh

just as awful as engineering humor, if you ask me

# ? May 24, 2013 02:12

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

AWWNAW posted:

my group desperately needs more developers but we're located in the American south which means we ain't finding poo poo and my boss doesn't want to hire remotely and I can kinda sympathize with him

the remote dev we have now is constantly confused as to what's going on

also I committed several shameful hacks today that will later blossom into bugs

is it real south or northern carpet bagger south?

# ? May 24, 2013 03:20

AWWNAW: Dec 30, 2008

AWWNAW fucked around with this message at 23:52 on Aug 20, 2013

# ? May 24, 2013 03:34

Doc Block: Apr 15, 2003; Fun Shoe

Yeah, umm, gently caress that poo poo.

# ? May 24, 2013 03:35

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

why would you do software in mississippi

you know you can send software over the internet

you could all go somewhere less poo poo

like

literally anywhere

# ? May 24, 2013 03:36

Nomnom Cookie: Aug 30, 2009

alabama is better than mississippi. the home state of bull connor is better than mississippi. think about that. the only reasonable thing for a mississippian to do is save up to move to anywhere else

# ? May 24, 2013 03:38

Stringent: Dec 22, 2004; image text goes here

Bloody posted:

why would you do software in mississippi

you know you can send software over the internet

you could all go somewhere less poo poo

like

literally anywhere

same reason you'd live in central america, southeast asia or w/e only you're trading climate/nature for decent hospitals.

# ? May 24, 2013 03:48

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

Stringent posted:

same reason you'd live in central america, southeast asia or w/e only you're trading climate/nature for decent hospitals.

i cant think of a single reason to live in any of those places but im not involved with organized crime so

# ? May 24, 2013 03:49

Nomnom Cookie: Aug 30, 2009

Bloody posted:

i cant think of a single reason to live in any of those places but im not involved with organized crime so

cheap bath salts for your butt

# ? May 24, 2013 03:50

Stringent: Dec 22, 2004; image text goes here

Nomnom Cookie posted:

cheap bath salts for your butt

run revolutions on a hobbyist level

# ? May 24, 2013 03:52

AWWNAW: Dec 30, 2008

AWWNAW fucked around with this message at 23:52 on Aug 20, 2013

# ? May 24, 2013 04:01

Nomnom Cookie: Aug 30, 2009

AWWNAW posted:

even worse is i let them relocate me from chicago where i worked from home 5 hours a week for 85k

pwnt

poo poo you had the job craigslist scammers advertise. maybe its not a scam???

# ? May 24, 2013 04:05

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

double ***featureVectors = new double**[windows];

i wrote this. i did this. why did i do this. what is this poo poo. gently caress.

# ? May 28, 2013 17:30

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

AWWNAW posted:

Mississippi

no thanks

# ? May 28, 2013 17:32

Elder Postsman: Aug 30, 2000; i used hot bot to search for "teens"

i'm a bad programmer. this is how i'm making an xml file in python

Python code:

fcline = '\t<FeatureClass name=\"%s\" oid_field=\"ObjectID\">\n'
fline = '\t\t<Feature oid=\"%s\" action=\"added\" />\n'

outFile.write(fcline % 'MISC_PLAN_METRICS')
for row in arcpy.SearchCursor('MISC_PLAN_METRICS_Work'):
	outFile.write(fline % row.ObjectID)
outFile.write('\t</FeatureClass>\n')
	
outFile.write(fcline % 'Park_Boundaries')
for row in arcpy.SearchCursor('Park_Boundaries_Work'):
	outFile.write(fline % row.ObjectID)
outFile.write('\t</FeatureClass>\n')

outFile.write(fcline % 'Hydrology')
for row in arcpy.SearchCursor('Hydrology_Work'):
	outFile.write(fline % row.ObjectID)
outFile.write('\t</FeatureClass>\n')

it works though

# ? May 28, 2013 17:48

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

lol that makes me mad irl when I look at it.

# ? May 28, 2013 17:50

Cocoa Crispies: Jul 20, 2001; Vehicular Manslaughter!; Pillbug

dur posted:

i'm a bad programmer. this is how i'm making an xml file in python

Python code:

fcline = '\t<FeatureClass name=\"%s\" oid_field=\"ObjectID\">\n'
fline = '\t\t<Feature oid=\"%s\" action=\"added\" />\n'

outFile.write(fcline % 'MISC_PLAN_METRICS')
for row in arcpy.SearchCursor('MISC_PLAN_METRICS_Work'):
	outFile.write(fline % row.ObjectID)
outFile.write('\t</FeatureClass>\n')
	
outFile.write(fcline % 'Park_Boundaries')
for row in arcpy.SearchCursor('Park_Boundaries_Work'):
	outFile.write(fline % row.ObjectID)
outFile.write('\t</FeatureClass>\n')

outFile.write(fcline % 'Hydrology')
for row in arcpy.SearchCursor('Hydrology_Work'):
	outFile.write(fline % row.ObjectID)
outFile.write('\t</FeatureClass>\n')

it works though

can't you instead cook your poo poo into a hash and call to_xml on it?

# ? May 28, 2013 17:51

Elder Postsman: Aug 30, 2000; i used hot bot to search for "teens"

Cocoa Crispies posted:

can't you instead cook your poo poo into a hash and call to_xml on it?

maybe but i don't know what any of that means

# ? May 28, 2013 17:53

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# ? May 11, 2024 22:39

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

you have come to the right place pal

# ? May 28, 2013 17:55

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

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