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Aleph Null
Jun 10, 2008

You look very stressed
Tortured By Flan
That headmates poo poo just sounds like people setting themselves up to need therapy for twenty years to clean their brains out. At least then would have a real illness to tumblr about.
Or I guess the Internet enables those people to live full and happy lives while being willfully batshit crazy.
I knew people who (thought they) had other people living in their heads back in college and I didn't think it was cute or harmless. It was weird and creepy. Get enough of them together though and it becomes acceptable (to themselves).

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DrHerpington
Dec 20, 2012

;-*

Aleph Null posted:

That headmates poo poo just sounds like people setting themselves up to need therapy for twenty years to clean their brains out. At least then would have a real illness to tumblr about.
Or I guess the Internet enables those people to live full and happy lives while being willfully batshit crazy.
I knew people who (thought they) had other people living in their heads back in college and I didn't think it was cute or harmless. It was weird and creepy. Get enough of them together though and it becomes acceptable (to themselves).

My college has a lot of sheltered rich kids. I'm here on scholarship from the school so I was stuck with them. Anyways, they held a gambling night, but no prizes, everyone got a certain number of chips on entry and they weren't exchangeable or purchasable so it didn't count as gambling, I guess. I was at a blackjack table, a couple saddles up next to me. She's in really formal wear from prom, he's in an ill-fitting suit with a black shirt with a neon astrology symbol and a fedora. Woman next to me on my other side does really well one round and the people next to me fail, and he says, "I'm going to be under your bed tonight with a knife" to the winning woman.

"I'm going to be under your bed tonight with a knife"

I just said, "Dude, that's not cool", he goes on about how it's not meant seriously, etc. but eventually shuts up and says he doesn't like the fact he's losing, so I give him a stack of my chips, like, 10 of the lowest denomination.

He loving bets them all in the next round and loses and wants more from me.

Nope.

I later learned what Homestuck was. There's a lot of overlap between the Homestuck kids and the BDSM/poly/Wicca scene here.

Alot of the Tumblr-style STDH is stories about how they wish an event went, I'm pretty sure. As a freshman, I thought maybe the Tumblr kids were cool, until I saw their Tumblrs and lots of STDH, but over the past years we've had together, I've seen them STDH out tons of times.

Every time there's an STDH where they "WRITE. LIKE. THIS."? I've seen them, down to a pose, do that IRL, two fists balled on a table, doing the head twist with each word. But do people really shut up or take them seriously at all? gently caress no. They get ignored and they do it again to get noticed, and nobody really gives a poo poo about what the female equiv of a manchild is doing.

Every time there's an STDH about something that happens in class, if the subject is something that probably doesn't have a discussion component, I'm pretty sure they overheard other people's convos and tried to jump in and that it wasn't actually a class discussion. The abortion one? Maybe some people were talking about it at the beginning of class and she interrupted loudly, making it awkward, so the teacher started the class. We had this in CS, where special snowflakes kept trying to jump into convos about video games and make poo poo political.

STDH about stuff they see IRL? Pretty sure they add in the gendering a lot of the time, as well as the relationship between the people. That last video games/Trix one? Probably someone's grandma saying video games aren't for kids, and the OP saw a box of Trix and thought about the slogan and made that poo poo up.

The Homestucks at my college went to a convention recently and hosed poo poo up, and are STDH'ing about it with false credentials to establish their authority on what really went down.

Tumblr-style STDH pisses me off because it establishes my demographic (young women) as liars and yet people get mad about the "ME ME ME" Times cover. It's pretty loving accurate.

NoUU
Mar 8, 2013

I need to stop going on Imgur.



DrHerpington posted:


STDH about stuff they see IRL? Pretty sure they add in the gendering a lot of the time, as well as the relationship between the people. That last video games/Trix one? Probably someone's grandma saying video games aren't for kids, and the OP saw a box of Trix and thought about the slogan and made that poo poo up.

I really doubt 90% of STDH has any basis in reality, and they just sit there going "What would make me seem cool and or make some stupid point"

Improbable Lobster
Jan 6, 2012

"From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.
Buglord

NoUU posted:

I need to stop going on Imgur.




I really doubt 90% of STDH has any basis in reality, and they just sit there going "What would make me seem cool and or make some stupid point"

Ha ha ha! Advertising reference! Current events!

Smarmy Coworker
May 10, 2008

by XyloJW

This is either a funny joke or loving stupid as poo poo and I can't tell which

moerketid
Jul 3, 2012

Aleph Null posted:

That headmates poo poo just sounds like people setting themselves up to need therapy for twenty years to clean their brains out. At least then would have a real illness to tumblr about.
Or I guess the Internet enables those people to live full and happy lives while being willfully batshit crazy.
I knew people who (thought they) had other people living in their heads back in college and I didn't think it was cute or harmless. It was weird and creepy. Get enough of them together though and it becomes acceptable (to themselves).

I knew (know, I guess, but not spoken to her irl in many years since I moved away, barely ever online either) someone who "developed" headmates. When I met her she was just an obsessive fangirl type, i.e. would cover her room in posters of her latest obsession, obtain all the merch etc. Then one particular franchise started and she became obsessed, then suddenly the main character was her Soulbond and had to have equal time in her body. And her own LJ accounts, WoW accounts...and later sexual partners. It totally destroyed her relationship with her (perhaps tragically) devoted boyfriend. This happened about 10 years ago, she's still a "multiple" but now kind of lives a sheltered life all alone and on disability for various mental ailments which seem to change any time I look at her FB. I think it's currently autism and ADHD but it's been everything from schizophrenia to bipolar in the past. It's a little sad as she was a nice person at the time - but the first headmate, there were more to follow of course - was a total bitch and I guess that's just how she expressed the awful part of herself. I wrote a more detailed account of it all on the "Ask me about growing up with a girl who's married to anime guys" thread at one point.

James Trickington
Apr 23, 2008

moerketid posted:

I knew (know, I guess, but not spoken to her irl in many years since I moved away, barely ever online either) someone who "developed" headmates. When I met her she was just an obsessive fangirl type, i.e. would cover her room in posters of her latest obsession, obtain all the merch etc. Then one particular franchise started and she became obsessed, then suddenly the main character was her Soulbond and had to have equal time in her body. And her own LJ accounts, WoW accounts...and later sexual partners. It totally destroyed her relationship with her (perhaps tragically) devoted boyfriend. This happened about 10 years ago, she's still a "multiple" but now kind of lives a sheltered life all alone and on disability for various mental ailments which seem to change any time I look at her FB. I think it's currently autism and ADHD but it's been everything from schizophrenia to bipolar in the past. It's a little sad as she was a nice person at the time - but the first headmate, there were more to follow of course - was a total bitch and I guess that's just how she expressed the awful part of herself. I wrote a more detailed account of it all on the "Ask me about growing up with a girl who's married to anime guys" thread at one point.

I read that, and a lot of that thread borders on this one. Depends on whether you consider their BS to be lying. It's just lame, attention-grabbing stunts, so to me it counts.

Recently, an old friend of mine from high school chatted with me on Facebook. Problem with this guy, is that he constantly lies and one-ups you if you're alone. He's been that way since I've known him and it's kinda sad. This was a recent gem though.

quote:

even got to pistol whip a gang banger last year when he tried to hold my wife and I up when she was pregnant
He said, describing his job as Asset Protection at Amazon.com. He also named himself an executive there, but their company's portfolio probably won't include that. Conspicuously, he has no occupation on his facebook page. This isn't the first time he's been an action hero, either.

e: Jesus Christ, that Never Unarmed video. :allears:
VVVV they are. I wish I'd collated them a while back but most of them are verbal. Once he saved a teacher at our school by punching a thug in the throat. I'm just glad Mr. Kistler is okay.

James Trickington has a new favorite as of 21:41 on Jun 4, 2013

York_M_Chan
Sep 11, 2003

James Trickington posted:

even got to pistol whip a gang banger last year when he tried to hold my wife and I up when she was pregnant

I love the generic term Gang Banger. In his delusion, I am sure any black guy in an urban environment qualifies. His fantasies must side-scroll like Streets of Rage.

moerketid
Jul 3, 2012

James Trickington posted:

I read that, and a lot of that thread borders on this one. Depends on whether you consider their BS to be lying. It's just lame, attention-grabbing stunts, so to me it counts.

It was definitely lying, because when I met up with her irl she couldn't really keep up the facade very well. Like, the "headmate" tried to front and was meant to have a different accent, it was really forced, she got shy and awkward and dropped back to being herself. May have been because I knew her before all her junk because I gather she did act it out properly to new internet people she met.

Also, spent this past weekend with some friends and one of them is a stdh king. He tells all these obviously fake medical stories and poo poo, it was painful to sit and listen to while a room of people were engrossed by it and laughing along. Like something about him jumping out of a 30ft tree as a little kid, going back inside happily to dinner, and his mother asking why he was hiding his hand. Why, he was hiding it because it was so broken he was grabbing his elbow with his hand! They took him to ER where he sat and played with it and made all the mangled arm wobble about "and made two doctors, one with 30 years experience, FAINT". And they couldn't keep a plaster cast on it because he kept cutting it off with his kiddie scissors to play with the wobbly mangled arm.

He got tons of interest so I guess that's why he was telling the lovely stories but ugh. Surely you would know that at least one person in the room was cringing.

NoUU
Mar 8, 2013



If I get enough internet points, my boss will give me a raise.



I work at a video game company!

CJacobs
Apr 17, 2011

Reach for the moon!
The sad thing about it is that it worked, the guy actually did make it to Imgur's frontpage with this thing. Pretty much any time you see "If I get X upvotes on Imgur, my girlfriend will marry me/my boss will give me a raise/grandma will come back from the dead" it is totally false.

One of the top comments on the image is that they want to see before/after pictures of his checks in case it does happen, so I can't wait for him to show us his raise!

Double Plus Good
Nov 4, 2009

moerketid posted:

It was definitely lying, because when I met up with her irl she couldn't really keep up the facade very well. Like, the "headmate" tried to front and was meant to have a different accent, it was really forced, she got shy and awkward and dropped back to being herself. May have been because I knew her before all her junk because I gather she did act it out properly to new internet people she met.

Also, spent this past weekend with some friends and one of them is a stdh king. He tells all these obviously fake medical stories and poo poo, it was painful to sit and listen to while a room of people were engrossed by it and laughing along. Like something about him jumping out of a 30ft tree as a little kid, going back inside happily to dinner, and his mother asking why he was hiding his hand. Why, he was hiding it because it was so broken he was grabbing his elbow with his hand! They took him to ER where he sat and played with it and made all the mangled arm wobble about "and made two doctors, one with 30 years experience, FAINT". And they couldn't keep a plaster cast on it because he kept cutting it off with his kiddie scissors to play with the wobbly mangled arm.

He got tons of interest so I guess that's why he was telling the lovely stories but ugh. Surely you would know that at least one person in the room was cringing.
I kind of touched on it earlier in the thread, but fake medical stories are the worst, because there's no way to discredit them without completely breaking social acceptability. I had a guy who I had to share a studio space with force some of these on me when we were alone together one night. He started out slow, I guess to see how far he could go with me, and my general polite demeanor egged him on to be more bold. I just kept nodding my head and saying "Oh. Wow. That's crazy." I ended up texting all of his stories to my friend in the breaks because I just had to reach out to someone because STDH is happening to me right now. :suspense:

A brief retelling is this: When he was a kid, he and his mom lived with his abusive dad (probably true :smith:) One night, the dad beat him so severely that it broke all of his ribs, which resulted in fluid being gathered on his heart. His dad left him in their bathtub for three days until his bruises healed, so that the hospital wouldn't be suspicious. Because of this, he still regularly coughs up blood (??). This gave him "Still's Heart" which causes his whole body to seize up in pain from time to time, but since he's had multiple bone marrow transfusions (??) he can't get the transplant. He needs a heart transplant, but can't have one because... he was given a rare blood disease by being bitten by a mosquito. When he was bitten by the mosquito, they told him they'd had to amputate his right arm before it spread to his heart, but he told them that he'd rather die than lose his right arm, because being an artist was his life. So now he just lives in severe chronic pain, but that's the sacrifice you make as an artist. :smug: Then, and this was the best part, he looked me straight in the eyes and said, :geno: "But the crazy thing is... my dad is a millionaire."

Keep in mind, this was the first time the two of us had ever really spoken. If those kind of traumatic events (abuse, losing a loved one, having an awful disease, suicide, all of which he told me about in later, similarly unbelievable anecdotes) had really happened to a person, they wouldn't gleefully be talking about them with a practical stranger. He had this creepy kind of eager manner to him the whole time, like the way you tell your most exciting personal anecdote. And he kept one-upping the stories with "...and the crazy thing is..." I know he wasn't just bullshitting me, because he had told some of the stories to other people. They all pretty much accepted them as true. I tried to tell them that the new guy was making up crazy stories and was probably pretty messed up, but most of them just kind of shrugged it off because, "I mean, it's possible that a lot of crazy stuff has just happened to him." I asked if they had ever had any kind of proof, at ALL, that any of his medical ailments were real, and none of them did, but they still felt that there was a possibility of the stories being real. I know personal STDH stories are kind of boring to everyone else, but I had to share with somebody. Fake medical stories are basically STDH free passes, because everyone has to politely accept them as fact or look like a total rear end in a top hat. :sigh:

Double Plus Good has a new favorite as of 07:23 on Jun 5, 2013

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

ARACHNOTRON posted:

This is either a funny joke or loving stupid as poo poo and I can't tell which

It's making fun of SWJs who defend members of oppressed groups who commit crimes against members of privileged groups. Replace "mouse/mammal" with, say, "white person" and "snake/reptile" with "black person," and it will make sense as a sarcastic racist screed. So yes, it's "loving stupid as poo poo," but that's because it's racist.

Kugyou no Tenshi
Nov 8, 2005

We can't keep the crowd waiting, can we?

James Trickington posted:

describing his job as Asset Protection at Amazon.com
Oh poo poo, this reminds me of a guy I met in college. Within the first few minutes of meeting the little smokers' clique I was in, he tried to establish himself as Kind Of A Big Deal (he was 19, maybe 20, and most of our group were pushing 30 by this point if not older), going on about how he's an HR Specialist with a retail chain and how he's "had to make some tough decisions about employees". A couple weeks later we found out from another new face that he was an Assistant Manager at a local Staples. The "tough decision" he had to make was whether or not to rat out a friend of his to the store's GM for stealing a floor model laptop (if memory serves) when they changed it out for a newer product.

Then again, he paled in comparison to the girl who ended a call, turned to the guy next to her, and said "That was my dad. I'm still waiting to see if he realizes I stole a kilo of coke from his huge stash in the basement and had my boyfriend sell it. I can probably get you some if you want; he's got so much he never notices when I sneak a few ounces here and there".

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


Proper Hoodidge posted:

Most of his methods in that video are only practice for point-blank execution or opening fire on an unassuming crowd. Just try to imagine a "self defense" situation where you would need the muscle memory of shooting a stationary target with the muzzle pressing into it. "Your honor, his friend wasn't being very forthcoming re: who tagged my garage with a giant weed leaf, so i had to Raise The Stakes so to speak. Haven't you seen Rules of Engagement, libtard fucker?"

I ended up not watching very much because I was really creeped out by the clip where he shoots a watermelon that had the face mask on it.

Turtlicious
Sep 17, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I work in a transitional home, so I get lied to a lot the STDH I tend to hear is just kind of sad though, like one of my clients saying his Dad gave him a phone and clothes when really it came from his Social Worker. :smith: Sure little buddy, I'm sure he did.

madeupfred
Oct 10, 2011

by FactsAreUseless

muscles like this? posted:

I ended up not watching very much because I was really creeped out by the clip where he shoots a watermelon that had the face mask on it.

So you're looking for more lighthearted fun, huh? Lynn Thompson's got you covered.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phMWKA_TQ88
$99.99 USD per program, please. :colbert:

madeupfred has a new favorite as of 17:59 on Jun 5, 2013

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?
I love the part where they fence. He looks like he actually loses at least half of those

slingshot effect
Sep 28, 2009

the wonderful wizard of welp

Samfucius
Sep 8, 2010

And if you gaze long enough into a nest, the nest will gaze back into you.

I think this really happened, and the author either has no sense of tone or purposefully ignored it to make a "better" story.

Those quotes sound exactly like things awkward middle schoolers would consider jokes, and edgy ones at that. Especially the "I know, that's what makes it so great" (in the face of a flaw) line, I'm pretty sure every guy I knew in 7th grade used that one when caught espousing something unpopular.

GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005


muscles like this? posted:

I ended up not watching very much because I was really creeped out by the clip where he shoots a watermelon that had the face mask on it.
They were all wearing masks, he shot the rest of them execution style in the back of the head. You know, appealing to his target demographic.

RenegadeStyle1
Jun 7, 2005

Baby Come Back

Samfucius posted:

I think this really happened, and the author either has no sense of tone or purposefully ignored it to make a "better" story.

Those quotes sound exactly like things awkward middle schoolers would consider jokes, and edgy ones at that. Especially the "I know, that's what makes it so great" (in the face of a flaw) line, I'm pretty sure every guy I knew in 7th grade used that one when caught espousing something unpopular.

How can you think it ever happened? Neither one of them acted amazed that a girl plays video games.

Roro
Oct 9, 2012

HOO'S HEAD GOES ALL THE WAY AROUND?
Just been reminded of a boy I go to college with. He's abot three years younger than me, and has been in care for most of his life.
The very first day of college he walked up to the table I was sat at with two other new people, sat down and declared "When I was three, my dad took me and my little brother to a pedophile's house and left us there for a day. I scared the pedo off with a knife though." :stare:

Other fantastic stories include his various foster carers and how they totes stole all of his stuff (when pressed about why he didn't contact his social worker, he told me that he "didn't want to cause a fuss"), about how he had sex with a girl behind a bush three times in Year 8 (yet he didn't know how to get his penis into the girl he dated for a few weeks in college???) and other such wonderful stories.
I thnk the final straw for me dealing with him is when he told our group he was quitting our Animal Management course because he hadn't realised it would involve handling animals. He wanted to be a vet nurse.

Dire Chinchilla
Mar 27, 2013

Kugyou no Tenshi posted:

Then again, he paled in comparison to the girl who ended a call, turned to the guy next to her, and said "That was my dad. I'm still waiting to see if he realizes I stole a kilo of coke from his huge stash in the basement and had my boyfriend sell it. I can probably get you some if you want; he's got so much he never notices when I sneak a few ounces here and there".
I knew a girl just like that when I was a teenager; she kept saying that she's a coke dealer and she can get us her best stuff. I think she was trying to get us to like her :smith:

DrHerpington
Dec 20, 2012

;-*

Roro posted:

Just been reminded of a boy I go to college with. He's abot three years younger than me, and has been in care for most of his life.
The very first day of college he walked up to the table I was sat at with two other new people, sat down and declared "When I was three, my dad took me and my little brother to a pedophile's house and left us there for a day. I scared the pedo off with a knife though." :stare:

Other fantastic stories include his various foster carers and how they totes stole all of his stuff (when pressed about why he didn't contact his social worker, he told me that he "didn't want to cause a fuss"), about how he had sex with a girl behind a bush three times in Year 8 (yet he didn't know how to get his penis into the girl he dated for a few weeks in college???) and other such wonderful stories.
I thnk the final straw for me dealing with him is when he told our group he was quitting our Animal Management course because he hadn't realised it would involve handling animals. He wanted to be a vet nurse.

You don't get it, Animal Management is about telling animals what to do. :smuggo:

You're just not part of the herd.

Serperoth
Feb 21, 2013




DrHerpington posted:

You don't get it, Animal Management is about telling animals what to do. :smuggo:

You're just not part of the herd.

For some reason I'm imagining a dude sitting with a bunch of sheep in a meeting room and giving them a presentation on synergy and efficiency in the workplace...

Turtlicious
Sep 17, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Roro posted:

Other fantastic stories include his various foster carers and how they totes stole all of his stuff.

This one is true, I've seen it happen, as in I've taken inventory of a child's things before they transition into my program and seen things go missing. When you're transitioning from Foster Care into a program it's scary as hell, and the kids get worried that anything they say or do will gently caress it up and end up with them homeless, (because honestly, a lot of them do end up that way.) I'm not defending him, but these lies are to give himself agency in a lovely life, and obviously he's a little off-kilter.

How did you know he couldn't get his dick in?

DrHerpington
Dec 20, 2012

;-*

Judge Tesla
Oct 29, 2011

:frogsiren:

Turtlicious posted:

This one is true, I've seen it happen, as in I've taken inventory of a child's things before they transition into my program and seen things go missing. When you're transitioning from Foster Care into a program it's scary as hell, and the kids get worried that anything they say or do will gently caress it up and end up with them homeless, (because honestly, a lot of them do end up that way.) I'm not defending him, but these lies are to give himself agency in a lovely life, and obviously he's a little off-kilter.

How did you know he couldn't get his dick in?

I can confirm this, I was in the foster care system during my teenage years, my carer was a very good person but other ones that she knew were the very definition of terrible, some of the poor kids were basically slaves to the one carer I had the misfortune to know of.

Roro
Oct 9, 2012

HOO'S HEAD GOES ALL THE WAY AROUND?

Turtlicious posted:

This one is true, I've seen it happen, as in I've taken inventory of a child's things before they transition into my program and seen things go missing. When you're transitioning from Foster Care into a program it's scary as hell, and the kids get worried that anything they say or do will gently caress it up and end up with them homeless, (because honestly, a lot of them do end up that way.) I'm not defending him, but these lies are to give himself agency in a lovely life, and obviously he's a little off-kilter.

How did you know he couldn't get his dick in?

We were told in graphic detail by both him and the girl he was trying it on with, on seperate occasions. Hilariously, she told us that she needed to pee about halfway through the endeavor and just climbed off. At first, we thought she was lying when she told us, but someone went and asked him what had happened, and he complained about her leaving him to finish himself off, so to speak. They are the two oddest people I have met, to be honest.

And yeah, he's definitely hosed up, whether that's a result of spending so much time in the system or for some other reason. I felt bad for him for a while but he didn't even seem to care about putting effort into the course. He'd plagiarise like mad and bitch when he failed assignments. I suppose my outlook on the matter is skewed due to my relatively happy upbringing.


DrHerpington posted:

You don't get it, Animal Management is about telling animals what to do. :smuggo:

You're just not part of the herd.

Sometimes when they don't listen, we have to wrassle them into submission.
And by that I mean restrain them while they scream in your ear indignantly.

QueenQuintessence
Dec 26, 2012

Double Plus Good posted:

Keep in mind, this was the first time the two of us had ever really spoken. If those kind of traumatic events (abuse, losing a loved one, having an awful disease, suicide, all of which he told me about in later, similarly unbelievable anecdotes) had really happened to a person, they wouldn't gleefully be talking about them with a practical stranger. He had this creepy kind of eager manner to him the whole time, like the way you tell your most exciting personal anecdote. And he kept one-upping the stories with "...and the crazy thing is..." I know he wasn't just bullshitting me, because he had told some of the stories to other people. They all pretty much accepted them as true. I tried to tell them that the new guy was making up crazy stories and was probably pretty messed up, but most of them just kind of shrugged it off because, "I mean, it's possible that a lot of crazy stuff has just happened to him." I asked if they had ever had any kind of proof, at ALL, that any of his medical ailments were real, and none of them did, but they still felt that there was a possibility of the stories being real. I know personal STDH stories are kind of boring to everyone else, but I had to share with somebody. Fake medical stories are basically STDH free passes, because everyone has to politely accept them as fact or look like a total rear end in a top hat. :sigh:

That's what happens all the time when I point out the inaccuracies of my friend's stories. It sucks that I come off as the rear end in a top hat when I tell her there's no way in hell all the veins in her body collapsed at the same time. The worst thing is when you say there's no way they could survive if something like that happened, and they just go "I know! It's a miracle!"

walrusman
Aug 4, 2006

Ohhh, r/atheism...



The car was blocking two lanes of a freeway and you are the first person who called 911? Sure ya were, buddy. All because of those wacky Christians, amirite? :allears:

walrusman has a new favorite as of 07:13 on Jun 6, 2013

Kugyou no Tenshi
Nov 8, 2005

We can't keep the crowd waiting, can we?

QueenQuintessence posted:

That's what happens all the time when I point out the inaccuracies of my friend's stories. It sucks that I come off as the rear end in a top hat when I tell her there's no way in hell all the veins in her body collapsed at the same time. The worst thing is when you say there's no way they could survive if something like that happened, and they just go "I know! It's a miracle!"

On another forum entirely, there was this guy who kept posting a story about how his Mom had lost all her blood, like all of it had drained into a bucket on the floor of her room in the ER, but she lived without getting any transfusions or anything and that's why Jesus is real and we all needed to convert right then and there. He couldn't understand why, in a forum full of atheists and pagans, people would possibly think he might have been exaggerating or lying, and why no one appreciated his TOS-violating proselytizing.

DrHerpington
Dec 20, 2012

;-*

Samfucius
Sep 8, 2010

And if you gaze long enough into a nest, the nest will gaze back into you.
I had a SDTH-seed happen to me yesterday at work. Let's see how it really happened versus how it would be written:

I work in retail in a city that has banned plastic bags and mandated that businesses charge $0.05 for paper bags. This went into effect a couple months ago, and most people have adjusted. I actually like it, as there is less trash on the streets, but that is neither here nor there. My managers have told me that we HAVE to follow the law as well.

Some people really, really, really don't like it. I had a man come in to buy about $40 worth of socks and underwear. He gets to the counter and I ask him if he would like a bag. He says yes, so I inform him that I'm going to have to add a nickel onto the charge. He stops, looks me in the eye and says something like "Well, nevermind then. That's ridiculous." I ask him something like "Nevermind on the bag? Ok, sir." and he responds with "Nevermind on the whole thing. I don't want any of this unless you give me a bag."

I swear to loving god on everything that is holy he said that.

I try to tell him that I can't; it's a city law, my managers are strict about it, it isn't up to me, etc. He is just getting angrier and angrier. At one point he tells me it is my choice, and I am choosing to lose his business. Then he demands I call my manager. I try, but my manager must be busy because he doesn't answer the phone. At this point an older lady behind the customer walks up to him and tries to hand him a nickel, saying "I'll pay for your stupid bag. You're being rude, leave this guy alone, he's just doing his job."

Once again, I swear on anything you would like me to that I am making none of this up.

The angry guy refuses the nickel, and starts to get a little flustered. He leaves his stuff on the counter and walks off. The lady apologizes on behalf of the angry dude and we have a good laugh. I'm about to give her a small discount because she was awesome and I am totally allowed to do that when angry dude storms back over, grabs his stuff, and leaves without a word to another cashier, where he starts the whole thing over. This cashier manages to get a hold of our manager, who is a super nice, relaxed guy. After a long, protracted argument during which the customer threatens to cut up his loyalty account card (accounts are a huge deal at the store) my manager gives the customer a free bag and tells him that he is going to talk to me about my "rude behavior". This talk consists of him coming over, laughing about how loving nuts that guy's tantrum was, and telling me in the future to just give crazy people their free bags and to call him to talk to them.


In STDH land:

I work at a large department store as a sales associate. We have to charge $0.05 for bags because of a city ordinance.

Yesterday a man came in to buy some clothes. When he got to the register and learned that he was expected to pay for a bag if he wanted one, he went berserk.
"YOU SHOULD BE FIRED FOR THIS YOUNG MAN, CALL YOUR SUPERVISOR! I REFUSE TO BE TREATED THIS WAY!"
At this point the gorgeous woman behind the customer had had enough, and tried to hand him a nickel, which he hit out of her hand. Then, ranting and raving, he walked away.
"I am so sorry you had to deal with that," she said. "Do you want to get dinner later?"
"I would love to, and by the way, your whole purchase is free."
She giggled and leaned over the counter, clearly showing off her ample busom.
"I have something for you too... here's my number, call me later."
"Magnifico!" I said under my breath. She must have heard me, because on her way out out of the store I heard her singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Then I overheard the crazy customer talking to my supervisor,
"I REFUSE TO BE ROBBED BY THAT HORRIBLE CASHIER. I BET HE LIKES MEN, AND I DON'T WANT A DEGENERATE TOUCHING MY UNDERWEAR ANYWAYS!"
"Sir, the city bag ordinance has been in effect for months, there is nothing I can do about it. Samfucius is one of our best associates, and I'd rather he be here than you. Get out!"
At that point my manager came over and gave me a high five and a raise for dealing with the crazy customer.
I married the beautiful woman a month later.

Samfucius has a new favorite as of 21:00 on Jun 6, 2013

5er
Jun 1, 2000



I could realistically see an old crotchety homophobic grandma falling silent after this with the simple acknowledgement that her grandchild was officially beyond reach.

Kugyou no Tenshi
Nov 8, 2005

We can't keep the crowd waiting, can we?

Samfucius posted:

In STDH land:

I work at a large department store as a sales associate. We have to charge $0.05 for bags because of a city ordinance.

Yesterday a man came in to buy some clothes. When he got to the register and learned that he was expected to pay for a bag if he wanted one, he went berserk.
"YOU SHOULD BE FIRED FOR THIS YOUNG MAN, CALL YOUR SUPERVISOR! I REFUSE TO BE TREATED THIS WAY!"
At this point the gorgeous woman behind the customer had had enough, and tried to hand him a nickel, which he hit out of her hand. Then, ranting and raving, he walked away.
"I am so sorry you had to deal with that," she said. "Do you want to get dinner later?"
"I would love to, and by the way, your whole purchase is free."
She giggled and leaned over the counter, clearly showing off her ample busom.
"I have something for you too... here's my number, call me later."
"Magnifico!" I said under my breath. She must have heard me, because on her way out out of the store I heard her singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Then I overheard the crazy customer talking to my supervisor,
"I REFUSE TO BE ROBBED BY THAT HORRIBLE CASHIER. I BET HE LIKES MEN, AND I DON'T WANT A DEGENERATE TOUCHING MY UNDERWEAR ANYWAYS!"
"Sir, the city bag ordinance has been in effect for months, there is nothing I can do about it. Samfucius is one of our best associates, and I'd rather he be here than you. Get out!"
At that point my manager came over and gave me a high five and a raise for dealing with the crazy customer.
I married the beautiful woman a month later.

Is it bad that the first thing that came to mind when I saw "In STDH land" was "This is going to read like a Not Always Right story, isn't it?" That site is STDH Central sometimes, up to and including at least one story that wasn't physically possible and any number of racist e-mail forwards turned into "totally true story it happened to me".

I keep having to bite my tongue with one of my friends, though - occasionally one of her fellow teachers tells her some STDH story about a student "at another school" (it's always "another school", not "this specific school you could actually check"), including the drat "Le-a" story.

Mister Roboto
Jun 15, 2009

I SWING BY AUNT MAY's
FOR A SHOWER AND A
BITE, MOST NATURAL
THING IN THE WORLD,
ASSUMING SHE'S
NOT HOME...

...AND I
FIND HER IN BED
WITH MY
FATHER, AND THE
TWO OF THEM
ARE...ARE...

...AAAAAAAAUUUUGH!

walrusman posted:

Ohhh, r/atheism...

The car was blocking two lanes of a freeway and you are the first person who called 911? Sure ya were, buddy. All because of those wacky Christians, amirite? :allears:

r/atheism may as well be a storywriting forum, because it's all made up. Have you ever looked at the replies? They're obviously fake/"ironic" most of the time.

Anil Dikshit
Apr 11, 2007
From a fark thread about laptop searches at the border.

quote:

inglixthemad
MaudlinMutantMollusk: bronyaur1: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Because the terrorists won, that's why

They won the moment the Patriot Act was passed.

Precisely

How dare you! I have it on the authority of right-wing icons such as (to name a few) Ann Coulter, Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Jonah Goldberg, Michelle Malkin, and Rush Limbaugh (many current / former GOP stalwarts such as Newt Gingrich, John McCain, John Boehner, and Sarah "Barracuda" Palin as well) that such thoughts are:

Dangerous
Akin to giving aid and comfort to the enemy
Treason
Show you are soft of terror

After all, if you have nothing to hide, you shouldn't care. Well, according to republicans prior to November 2008. Really, they only started caring in January of 2009.

I just had great fun pointing this out to a friend. He didn't recognize his cognitive dissonance until I pointed it out. Whereas I have hated this since it happened. He actually wrote a letter of chastisement to Russ Feingold (who voted against this shiat twice) at the time. He still stammered when I reminded him of the recent past.

06 Jun 2013 07:15 PM

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Scuzzywuffit
Feb 5, 2012

And ironically, a Facebook page entitled "Dude...I was there.... don't try to change the story." posts some STDH, albeit from another source:

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