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booshi
Aug 14, 2004

:tastykake:||||||||||:tastykake:
So what's the over/under on how many days he will last at Target?

OP, it's good you're getting mental health help, but don't fall into using that as an excuse for anything. A lot of people in the world (myself included) deal with mental illness every day but still work our asses off.

If you want to write you need to write more. A lot more. Years on chapters is not good. If you've hit a block in one piece of writing, switch gears to something else in a different style. Just reading will get you nowhere. My writing personally greatly improved this first year of grad school. However, looking back I wrote ~150 pages of work, with 2 papers now published. I still think my writing is crap and needs improvement still.

You're headed in the right direction. Keep it going and don't screw it up. I can't believe I'm giving an adult advice that I knew when I was 14 and had my first job.

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Benny the Snake
Apr 11, 2012

GUM CHEWING INTENSIFIES

booshi posted:

So what's the over/under on how many days he will last at Target?

OP, it's good you're getting mental health help, but don't fall into using that as an excuse for anything. A lot of people in the world (myself included) deal with mental illness every day but still work our asses off.

If you want to write you need to write more. A lot more. Years on chapters is not good. If you've hit a block in one piece of writing, switch gears to something else in a different style. Just reading will get you nowhere. My writing personally greatly improved this first year of grad school. However, looking back I wrote ~150 pages of work, with 2 papers now published. I still think my writing is crap and needs improvement still.

You're headed in the right direction. Keep it going and don't screw it up. I can't believe I'm giving an adult advice that I knew when I was 14 and had my first job.
Probation here in CA is 90 days as per the state labor laws and so far I've been maintaining. As for my writing, I've been writing fuckall. My job has pretty much monopolized my time and effort. Something that I've noticed is that after working I'm so exhausted that I can actually focus. So what that tells me is that if I want to really focus on writing, I need an exercise regimen. My next writing project is a follow-up to an article that I published on Cinema Discusso about a year ago. Writing articles are second nature to me, but creative writing is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I feel extra confident when writing an article because I have the skills to do so after years of studying but ask me to come up with a story and I turn insecure. I doubt myself whether my stuff is original enough and I find myself doing everything else but creating a story. Maybe it's because I'm psyching myself out: my mindset when writing my story is I need this to be my magnum opus so I can become well off and then I turn into a big bag of nerves. I need to find a writer's symposium. Or maybe get myself into a creative writing program at a University.

EDIT: I haven't told a soul about my psychological problems. Insanity is hereditary in my family and I'd be mortified if my coworkers found out. Y'all don't count because as everybody knows, goons don't have souls :goonsay:

Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 07:56 on May 23, 2013

Jizznastics
Apr 1, 2012
irritating
Just because someone else in your family was insane doesn't me you'll catch it.

If want a "exercise regiment" throw on a pair of running shows and go do some road work.

PurePerfection
Nov 28, 2007

Jizznastics posted:

Just because someone else in your family was insane doesn't me you'll catch it.

If want a "exercise regiment" throw on a pair of running shows and go do some road work.

Benny, I know you're busy with your Target job, but maybe you could pick up a few extra bucks mowing lawns or doing yard work or something on your days off - something that'll get you some exercise and fresh air but won't interfere with your work.

booshi
Aug 14, 2004

:tastykake:||||||||||:tastykake:

Benny the Snake posted:

Probation here in CA is 90 days as per the state labor laws and so far I've been maintaining. As for my writing, I've been writing fuckall. My job has pretty much monopolized my time and effort. Something that I've noticed is that after working I'm so exhausted that I can actually focus. So what that tells me is that if I want to really focus on writing, I need an exercise regimen. My next writing project is a follow-up to an article that I published on Cinema Discusso about a year ago. Writing articles are second nature to me, but creative writing is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I feel extra confident when writing an article because I have the skills to do so after years of studying but ask me to come up with a story and I turn insecure. I doubt myself whether my stuff is original enough and I find myself doing everything else but creating a story. Maybe it's because I'm psyching myself out: my mindset when writing my story is I need this to be my magnum opus so I can become well off and then I turn into a big bag of nerves. I need to find a writer's symposium. Or maybe get myself into a creative writing program at a University.

EDIT: I haven't told a soul about my psychological problems. Insanity is hereditary in my family and I'd be mortified if my coworkers found out. Y'all don't count because as everybody knows, goons don't have souls :goonsay:

Aren't you already in debt from your English degree? Why would you even consider going to get a second, unless it was to gain an employable skill?

To echo exercise, just start running. Throw on some sneakers and headphones and run. Or pick up a side job or hobby that gets you moving.

You should post some samples of your work.

Foyes36
Oct 23, 2005

Food fight!
Good for you OP, I'm glad you found a job and are sticking with it. Hopefully you'll be able to move up from here.

Horrible Smutbeast
Sep 2, 2011
Benny, if you really have Adhd of some kind find a cheap 50-100$ mountain bike off of kijiji. There are even a few big stores here selling bikes new for $150, and then throw in another $40 for a lock and helmet. Barring medication and therapy, biking is the only thing that's really going to help out. Zone out, bike a few miles around on your day off and it'll keep your brain from overworking itself into heat death.

Eris
Mar 20, 2002
Hey Benny - any update? How are you doing?

Benny the Snake
Apr 11, 2012

GUM CHEWING INTENSIFIES

Eris posted:

Hey Benny - any update? How are you doing?
I kinda didn't want to have to update anything, actually. But since you've asked...

Work's fine and I'm still scheduled with my job. I mucked poo poo up a few times (carrying too many carts, not working to pace, etc.), but after a while I've developed a rhythm and, most importantly, I've learned to ask for help. It's the most asinine thing, but my pride is what keeps me from asking for help for something I feel that I have no excuse for not performing. In other words, if an idiot can push carts, then what does that make me if I can't keep up the pace on my own? I got over the whole notion that asking for help is a sign of weakness: not getting poo poo done is a bigger one. Also I made a huge dick move: I tried to weasel out of agreeing to cover for a co-worker and now I've burned that bridge with him.

The family situation is a little strained. My graduation ceremony was last Sunday but since it fell on Father's day, not too many people showed up. Mom wanted to plan a get together today: she told everyone to meet at the church rec hall and she had a potluck and everything organized. One big problem: I work today. I'm the kind of person who if I have to choose between family and work, in most circumstances I'll choose work. I've missed two or three of my cousin's weddings, my little sister's "quincenera", Mother's day at my Uncle Jim's place, etc. I insisted to Mom that I couldn't possibly ask for two Sunday's off in a row and on top of that, HR was offering me a raw deal: work from 9pm to 2am. No party is worth working 'till 2am in my opinion. But more importantly, I wasn't going to risk sticking my neck out. I've been mucking poo poo up and I've burned bridges so I really didn't feel confident in asking for any day off. So Mom leers at me and tells me "If this was at your Uncle Jim's place you'd be there in a second to drink all that beer." She might as well taken a baseball bat to my knees. She's got some kind of weird grudge against Jim and I think I'm a proxy because he's my favorite member of the family. Mom doesn't approve of his lifestyle (the partying, the drinking, etc.), but he's a responsible and successful guy and that's all that I'd ask for in a half-brother. Apparently my Mom's just being a judgmental bitch but then again what's new? Really this whole drama is because the party was more for her ego than to celebrate my graduation. gently caress it though: I need this job to move out and get away from this toxic environment and if it means I have to throw my family under the bus then so be it.

And that's pretty much it.

Dr_Amazing
Apr 15, 2006

It's a long story
Does she also hold birthday parties on days the person can't attend?

Foyes36
Oct 23, 2005

Food fight!
Your mother sounds ridiculous OP. Just focus on keeping your job and (slowly) extracted yourself out of that environment.

Accretionist
Nov 7, 2012
I BELIEVE IN STUPID CONSPIRACY THEORIES
How does that even happen?

Dr_Amazing posted:

Does she also hold birthday parties on days the person can't attend?
I guess so! All I'm picturing is like 20 people showing up at her house with birthday cards so she can pocket the cash after they leave.

Like they'll ask about Benny and she'll redirect to a wall festooned with collectible NASCAR plates

Edit:

FYI: Benny, the minimum wage is livable in much of Washington and Oregon.

Walla Walla County, Washington:
  • Estimated Living Wage: $7.23/hr or $15,308/year (June 2012*)
  • Current Minimum Wage: $9.19/hr or $19,115/year

Using padmapper.com I can see a studio apartment for $350/mo.!**

*Date of last update
**Another three for $400/mo. (~25% of annual full-time min. inc.), one for $425/mo. (~26.5%), four for $450/mo. (~28%)

Accretionist fucked around with this message at 01:27 on Jun 24, 2013

Pleiades
Aug 20, 2006
Such things are basically emotionally abusive set-ups. She has an "excuse" to say/do bad things to her target, but looks good by, say, throwing a party when certain people can't/won't be there.

Jizznastics
Apr 1, 2012
irritating
Honestly, You are really pathetic and weird and sad. Good luck with the pushing carts job, I'm glad you finally got the hang of it.

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?
How do you manage to burn bridges and be on the verge of losing a cart pushing job already? You need to take some of that sweet pay and go see a professional. Something's not right.

If you hadn't burnt those bridges trying to weasel out of covering a shift you promised to, you could have asked that guy to cover you for your graduation party.

Or, you know, you could have helped arrange it, making sure it was a time and day you could make?

Benny the Snake
Apr 11, 2012

GUM CHEWING INTENSIFIES

Masonity posted:

How do you manage to burn bridges and be on the verge of losing a cart pushing job already? You need to take some of that sweet pay and go see a professional. Something's not right.

If you hadn't burnt those bridges trying to weasel out of covering a shift you promised to, you could have asked that guy to cover you for your graduation party.

Or, you know, you could have helped arrange it, making sure it was a time and day you could make?
I make no excuses: I told my co-worker I'd cover for his shift then I turned around and tried to pin it on someone else hoping that the managers wouldn't figure out my shenanigans and they eventually did. I'm not saying that me and him are on bad terms; I have no idea. I'm just saying I wouldn't be receptive towards covering for a co-worker if I was in his position.

And the get-together was sprung on me at the last minute. Mom wanted it to be a surprise party but she reasoned how I don't like being surprised so she told me in advance so I could have the day off and the whole thing collapsed. I've managed to get next Sunday off so we'll have it then.

AtmaHorizon
Apr 3, 2012

Benny the Snake posted:

I make no excuses: I told my co-worker I'd cover for his shift then I turned around and tried to pin it on someone else hoping that the managers wouldn't figure out my shenanigans and they eventually did.

This will impact your reputation badly. You have to be a man of your word.
Show some commitment, even if it is just pushing carts.

Benny the Snake posted:

And the get-together was sprung on me at the last minute. Mom wanted it to be a surprise party but she reasoned how I don't like being surprised so she told me in advance so I could have the day off and the whole thing collapsed. I've managed to get next Sunday off so we'll have it then.

You are not obligated to want a birthday party and others (including parents) should respect that.

Good luck fighting your way up the career ladder.

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?

Benny the Snake posted:

I make no excuses: I told my co-worker I'd cover for his shift then I turned around and tried to pin it on someone else hoping that the managers wouldn't figure out my shenanigans and they eventually did. I'm not saying that me and him are on bad terms; I have no idea. I'm just saying I wouldn't be receptive towards covering for a co-worker if I was in his position.

And the get-together was sprung on me at the last minute. Mom wanted it to be a surprise party but she reasoned how I don't like being surprised so she told me in advance so I could have the day off and the whole thing collapsed. I've managed to get next Sunday off so we'll have it then.

Why? Why would you do this?

If you didn't want to cover it why not say no? Hell, make an excuse if you don't feel comfortable with a straight no. "Sorry mate. I've already promised my cousin I'd drive them to the hardware shop that day. Good luck finding someone!"

By not showing up you put their job at jeopardy if work believed you , and your own if they believed them. If I was your manager you'd now have an unauthorised absence on file complete with formal discipline. This isn't even an I forgot. It's an I couldn't be bothered.


Ps. How is the search for a real job going? You work Sundays so you have a weekday free for interviews.

Tamarillo
Aug 6, 2009

Masonity posted:

Why? Why would you do this?

Agreed, I'm mystified. I totally understand not wanting to do it, but saying you would and then just...trying not to? Why say you'd do it in the first place?

Alliterate Addict
Jul 10, 2012

dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes
The thread has risen from the depths, and the only thing that's surprising is that he's only on the cusp of losing his job, as opposed to having already lost it

Benny, I think you should take any money you're saving for rent and use it on a shrink instead. If this is what you're doing now I shudder to think of how your interactions with a landlord would go.

BrainParasite
Jan 24, 2003


Benny the Snake posted:

I make no excuses: I told my co-worker I'd cover for his shift then I turned around and tried to pin it on someone else hoping that the managers wouldn't figure out my shenanigans and they eventually did. I'm not saying that me and him are on bad terms; I have no idea. I'm just saying I wouldn't be receptive towards covering for a co-worker if I was in his position.

And the get-together was sprung on me at the last minute. Mom wanted it to be a surprise party but she reasoned how I don't like being surprised so she told me in advance so I could have the day off and the whole thing collapsed. I've managed to get next Sunday off so we'll have it then.

What the hell Benny? What the hell?

fuck the ROW
Aug 29, 2008

by zen death robot
Bravo, bravo. Managed to blow off your own graduation party because you didn't want to work late, and post some more snipes at your mother (who, if I recall correctly, you got convicted of a crime and sentenced to a life of drudge work after she slapped your equally fat and worthless brother), then straight lie about covering for somebody at work, marking you as a deadender at Target.

... why haven't your parents thrown you out yet?

fuck the ROW fucked around with this message at 16:12 on Jun 24, 2013

bringer
Oct 16, 2005

I'm out there Jerry and I'm LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT
Working 9am to 2am would have netted you so much OT pay it's difficult to believe you would turn that down. Are there really so many carts that need returning after midnight?

Foyes36
Oct 23, 2005

Food fight!

bringer posted:

Working 9am to 2am would have netted you so much OT pay it's difficult to believe you would turn that down. Are there really so many carts that need returning after midnight?

I used to love getting carts when I worked at a grocery story in high school. I would usually just space out while I did it and daydream about random poo poo.

OP, do you have any other responsibilities besides getting carts? Have you thought about trying to move to a different department if you don't like doing that?

cucurbit
Feb 23, 2009

bringer posted:

Working 9am to 2am would have netted you so much OT pay it's difficult to believe you would turn that down. Are there really so many carts that need returning after midnight?

9 p.m., not a.m., but still, that's five hours of pushing the six carts that will build up in the parking lot, and possibly some stock work. Being flexible in a job in terms of hours is actually a great way to build cred back up with higher-ups, and the fact that HR was willing to give you different shift hours so you could go to a party isn't a raw deal, jeez. What, do you think they should have made you shift manager already because you're better than the other plebs?

Also, seriously, explain thoroughly what happened with the coworker you promised to cover for and then didn't. Who did you pin what on?

almightyerin posted:

Maybe he told the guy he'd cover then said so and so was supposed to be working that shift not me.

If this is the case, Benny, there is something wrong with you. Seriously, this is shift work pushing carts at Target, the fact that you've made it this dramatic and complicated is so bizarre it's hard to comprehend.

cucurbit fucked around with this message at 16:38 on Jun 24, 2013

almightyerin
Apr 16, 2007

The one the only. Accept no substitutes.
Maybe he told the guy he'd cover then said so and so was supposed to be working that shift not me.

bringer
Oct 16, 2005

I'm out there Jerry and I'm LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT

cucurbit posted:

9 p.m., not a.m., but still, that's six hours of pushing the six carts that will build up in the parking lot, and possibly some stock work. Being flexible in a job in terms of hours is actually a great way to build cred back up with higher-ups, and the fact that HR was willing to give you different shift hours so you could go to a party isn't a raw deal, jeez. What, do you think they should have made you shift manager already because you're better than the other plebs?

Wow I totally misread that because who the gently caress complains about being give a flex shift like that? Good grief.

Benny, you'd have been able to go to the party, increase approval at work, make up for loving over a colleague, and all you'd have to do is work a little late. I don't think a need a therapist, just a good whack across the back of your head. Get out of your comfort zone. If getting away from your family is so important why aren't you taking every shift you can, the ones coworkers give you and the ones that end at 2am are still extra hours.

Benny the Snake
Apr 11, 2012

GUM CHEWING INTENSIFIES
Alright. Here's what happened with the co-worker. A month ago he texts me and says he needs me to cover his closing shift, saying that he can't skip any more classes. I say yes and never told a manager. The next morning, I get a call from HR saying they needed someone to cover as a cashier. Working inside is significantly better than outside so I said yes, figuring that since I never told a manager, I'd be able to weasel out of agreeing to cover parking lot. I tell my coworker about how I'm working inside, he calls the manager, and then I'm working parking lot that night. It was stupid and immature what I did and I haven't pulled any more stunts like that since.

As for the graduation party, it's been re-scheduled for next Sunday. I'm attending for the same reason why I attended the graduation ceremony: for the family. If I had it my way, I wouldn't of show up to the ceremony because wearing all black in 90 degree heat is miserable. But I did it out of consideration for not so much my immediate family but for my extended family.

Corn Thongs
Feb 13, 2004

You're only remorseful because you got caught. If you hadn't been, your coworker would've had no one to cover and been screwed over just so you get to have air conditioning.

Foyes36
Oct 23, 2005

Food fight!

Benny the Snake posted:

I'm attending for the same reason why I attended the graduation ceremony: for the family. If I had it my way, I wouldn't of show up to the ceremony because wearing all black in 90 degree heat is miserable. But I did it out of consideration for not so much my immediate family but for my extended family.

I will never forget a thread we had here probably seven years ago now when the OP flat out REFUSED to go to the high school graduation party his parents organized for him. I forget his reasoning, but it was something along the lines of wanting to play video games or something (it wasn't because he was abused or in a bad family situation or anything like that). Anyways, as a result his parents literally kicked him out of the house (he was 18), and he came to GBS whining about how he had nowhere to live now expecting a lot of sympathy.

He didn't get it. It was a beautiful thread. I really wish I could find it somewhere.

So good. Go to your party. Try to enjoy yourself.

Namarrgon
Dec 23, 2008

Congratulations on not getting fit in 2011!

Pfirti86 posted:

I will never forget a thread we had here probably seven years ago now when the OP flat out REFUSED to go to the high school graduation party his parents organized for him. I forget his reasoning, but it was something along the lines of wanting to play video games or something (it wasn't because he was abused or in a bad family situation or anything like that). Anyways, as a result his parents literally kicked him out of the house (he was 18), and he came to GBS whining about how he had nowhere to live now expecting a lot of sympathy.

He didn't get it. It was a beautiful thread. I really wish I could find it somewhere.

So good. Go to your party. Try to enjoy yourself.

Does not compute. If that really is the only reason they kicked him out his parents were nuts to begin with.

Lyz
May 22, 2007

I AM A GIRL ON WOW GIVE ME ITAMS

Benny the Snake posted:

As for the graduation party, it's been re-scheduled for next Sunday. I'm attending for the same reason why I attended the graduation ceremony: for the family. If I had it my way, I wouldn't of show up to the ceremony because wearing all black in 90 degree heat is miserable. But I did it out of consideration for not so much my immediate family but for my extended family.

Oh no, your mother wants to do something nice for you, how horrible. How about you bite your tongue and smile and thank her instead of whining like a little poo poo?

(And if you really need more incentive to not be in a snit about it, people give you MONEY at graduation parties, dumbass.)

bringer
Oct 16, 2005

I'm out there Jerry and I'm LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT
I know it has been brought up repeatedly but it pains me to think that you are an actual English Lit grad.

"I wouldn't of show up"

Ugh.

BrainParasite
Jan 24, 2003


So have you looked into therapy since whenever?

Anonymous Zebra
Oct 21, 2005
Blending in like it ain't no thang
Well it's good to see he has made actual negative progress over the last few months. No wait, I think I meant it's funny for me to read about how he is making hilariously lovely negative progress over the last few months.


EDIT: How's the writing going Benny?

Foyes36
Oct 23, 2005

Food fight!

Namarrgon posted:

Does not compute. If that really is the only reason they kicked him out his parents were nuts to begin with.

I might not be remembering it right.

Fruits of the sea
Dec 1, 2010

Benny the Snake posted:

As for the graduation party, it's been re-scheduled for next Sunday. I'm attending for the same reason why I attended the graduation ceremony: for the family. If I had it my way, I wouldn't of show up to the ceremony because wearing all black in 90 degree heat is miserable. But I did it out of consideration for not so much my immediate family but for my extended family.

If you're going to do something nice for your family (like show up to a lame party,I can almost sympathize),then you have to actually be nice about it. Kicking up a big fuss about how it interferes with your work and it's hot and boring and :qq: just makes everybody miserable. Now instead of placating your mom, and maybe even improving your relationship with her, you've just antagonized each other some more.

It's childish. Resorting to a higher authority (your employer) as an excuse for getting out of a party and breaking your agreement with your coworker is also really manipulative. Take a close look at your behaviour, and consider if it resembles something your mother would do in the same situation.

Chexmix
Dec 10, 2006

Looks like you'll have to go handle this yourself.

Anonymous Zebra posted:

Well it's good to see he has made actual negative progress over the last few months. No wait, I think I meant it's funny for me to read about how he is making hilariously lovely negative progress over the last few months.


EDIT: How's the writing going Benny?

He's working part time, man, focusing on lying to coworkers and loving up cart pushing. He doesn't have time to write! :ohdear:

Arch Stanton
Nov 23, 2003
EYEBALLS AND TONGUES DON'T MIX EW EW EW EW EW

bringer posted:

I know it has been brought up repeatedly but it pains me to think that you are an actual English Lit grad.

"I wouldn't of show up"

Ugh.

Two Sunday's in a row.

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Benny the Snake
Apr 11, 2012

GUM CHEWING INTENSIFIES

Fruits of the sea posted:

If you're going to do something nice for your family (like show up to a lame party,I can almost sympathize),then you have to actually be nice about it. Kicking up a big fuss about how it interferes with your work and it's hot and boring and :qq: just makes everybody miserable. Now instead of placating your mom, and maybe even improving your relationship with her, you've just antagonized each other some more.

It's childish. Resorting to a higher authority (your employer) as an excuse for getting out of a party and breaking your agreement with your coworker is also really manipulative. Take a close look at your behaviour, and consider if it resembles something your mother would do in the same situation.
Obviously you didn't read. It's not so much that I wanted out of a graduation party: it's because I didn't want to skip work. I asked for Father's Day off: the busiest shopping day of the month. I am committed to spending time with my family but I didn't feel comfortable asking for more time off. And I owe up to the fact that I put myself in that position. What I take umbrage at is this thought that I'm doing all this out of spite against my family. Spite comes naturally to me: if I wanted to spite my family, believe you me, I would. But not at the expense of the relationships with the members of my extended family: the people who were there for me when my terrible immediate family wasn't.

Anonymous Zebra posted:

EDIT: How's the writing going Benny?
Practically non-existent.

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