FrozenVent posted:

I'm going to go ahead and assume that none of those posts were written by actual women. It's better for my sanity.

FrozenVent posted:

I'm going to go ahead and assume that none of those posts were written by actual women. It's better for my sanity.

Das Boo posted:

So what do these guys think of hermaphadites? Are they immediately superior because they have a penis or immediately inferior because they have a vagina? Seeing as how all of one's power, intellect and integretity dwells within the penis and one's ignorance, depedency and masochism dwells within the vagina, do they just cancel each other out?

quote:

It was pretty late, but we were both feeling like talking afterward. It devolved a bit, as my hamster started running loose, thinking about how I felt looking at him earlier. Because surely other women were looking at him like that now. So I started the stupid “What would you do if some girl jumped you because you’re so hot now” questioning (no, don’t tell me, I already know, stupid). And he mentions that there IS this girl at work that started getting a little too friendly, but he doesn’t work with her anymore… I could tell by the way he was trying to dodge my questions that she was obviously hot and probably younger. He said “about our age”, but….

Meh….

Grr.

Gah.

It got quiet after that, and I felt him starting to fall asleep as we were wrapped up together. I said “Please, say something else to me before we go to sleep, so that that’s not the last thing we talk about.” Because it was just going to stick in my head.

He laughed, and started telling me all the things he loved about me. “You’re a great mother, you cook me great food, I love your sense of humor, I love how smart you are”…

Me: “Beta beta beta. Yeah, not really helping.” (Biiiiiitch. I don’t really know what I’m expecting here. I suck at flirting, and I know that’s what he’s looking for right now.)

Him: “Ok… (list of all the things he finds sexy that I can’t bring myself to type out)”

Then he jumped on me and went for a really rough round two. And he finished round two. So, that’s a new development.

Ok fine. So screwing your wife silly when she gets all stupid insecure really works.

Retter posted:

Yeah I am actually somewhat curious about what they'd say about transgender people but something tells me that the answer would end up being extremely, extremely depressing.

quote:

(In my Ancient History class we are looking at a reconstruction of a Roman temple and discussing the Latin written on it.)

Teacher: “Have you noticed they don’t use ‘u’s? They use ‘v’s instead. So whenever you see Latin there won’t be any ‘u’s…probably because they weren’t shepherds.”

(The class laughs and, while one student manages to spot something on the image.)

Student: “Look! In Pont…Pontefix Maximus. They used a ‘u’ there.”

Teacher: “Oh, so they did. There’s always an exception to any rule; I guess that one’s just the black sheep.”

(The class laughs again and when we finally calmed down he had one more thing to say.)

Teacher: “Alright, we can stop talking about that now. I’m feeling pretty sheepish about all the jokes. They were just so ‘baaa’d.”

quote:

(I am studying in the library, but have brought my own textbook from home, as this particular book is very popular and often all the library copies are in use or checked out.)

Student: “Hey. Are you done with that book? I can’t find a copy on the shelf.”

Me: “Um, actually I’m still using it, and anyway, it’s my copy, not the library’s.”

Student: “You’re not using it! It’s just sitting there closed on the table. Give it to me!”

Me: “I need it for the assignment I am just about to start, even if I am not using it right now. And as I said, it is my personal copy, not a library book, and I wouldn’t lend it to a rude stranger even if I wasn’t using it.”

Student: “You can’t hog all the books!”

(He storms off, only to return with the librarian in tow).

Librarian: “I’m sorry, but this student was saying you wouldn’t let him use a book you were finnished with? The books here are for all students to use, so if you’re done with it, could you let him use that copy?”

Me: “As I already explained to him, I’m not done using the book, and also, it is my personal copy from home, not a library book.”

(I show her the cover and the spine, so she can see it has no barcode or sticker and is indeed not a library book.)

Librarian: “Oh, sorry to bother you then.” *to other student* “I’m afraid it is her book, but I can help you look on the shelf for a copy of it, or put one on reserve for you.”

Student: “No! She has a copy of it right there! Why can’t I use that one? Make her give it to me!”

Librarian: “You can’t use it because it is her book. She purchased it. She owns it, not the library. I can’t make her give you her private property to use.”

Student: “Why not?”

Me: “Because it’s mine.”

Student: *grabs pile of library books off table* “Well, then, these are MINE, if you can just claim any book you like!”

Me and Librarian: “It doesn’t work like that.”

Student: “MINE!”

(The student runs out of the library with the books, setting off the alarm.)

tacodaemon posted:

Adventures in Red Pill Wifery: A First Officer's Log

Post-coital pillow talk:

tacodaemon posted:

Cheer up! Trans people on hormone replacement therapy are helpful for proving biotruths!

walrusman posted:

TroperTales made me sad, NAR made me confused, but this PUA stuff just makes me sick.

moerketid posted:

The revenge dreams of obese autistic teenage boys who imagine themselves ninja'ing up the high school bully are somehow far more heartening than the MRA/PUA/TRP pond scum.

moerketid posted:

The revenge dreams of obese autistic teenage boys who imagine themselves ninja'ing up the high school bully are somehow far more heartening than the MRA/PUA/TRP pond scum.

Tatum Girlparts posted:

Yea it's adorable to hear someone bitter about high school imagining laying sick burns on jocks. This poo poo is just 'hey guys I loving hate women so much, I just hate every woman in the world' and a bunch of sad sexually frustrated idiots going 'YEA ME TOO!'

bonestructure posted:

This one is triple-distilled wishful PUA thinking.

Oh poo poo son, you laid a sick burn on her

NoUU posted:

jalopybrown posted:

This one's awesome just because it relies on the premise that her family don't understand the word birth nor how their own age works.

Fathis Munk posted:

Also I really don't get the pun/joke with the v' and u's

Djeser posted:

[pontefix maximus hilarity]

NoUU posted:

Djeser posted:

This is from a 'college/university':

Flaggy posted:

Why do college students in these always talk like they are five years old "Make her give it to me."

NoUU posted:

Red Pill also makes me sad, here's some more light hearted STDH.

GreenMetalSun posted:

I sort of assumed stuff like this was pretty common. I have friends who counted time in the womb as time being alive, and they tell people their newborn daughter is nine months old. I mean, isn't that why a doctor or whatever will ask for 'date of birth' and not 'age'?

Dex posted:

No, that's weird as hell.

Jerry Cotton posted:

There are cultures where that's considered perfectly normal.

Dex posted:

Which ones? I know a lot of eastern Asian countries consider the day of birth year one, but I don't know any that count directly from the night your mom got knocked up like that couple with the "nine month old" newborn.

Magna Kaser posted:

That's essentially the rationale why in east Asia you start at 1.

quote:

When I was a freshman in high school, I had a super hot biology teacher. She thought I was hilarious and said I was the brightest student in her class blahblahblah. Anyways, she would always take pictures with me during the course of the school year. End of the year came around, and she put all those pictures in a collage and gave it to me. I took it home and fapped. I did the entire summer. When I moved out, I took the thing with me. It's in my closet on the top shelf as I speak.

EDIT: drat, guys, I guess I have I to find her. Plus, blame my poo poo phone and ghetto iPad for not uploading pics. I tried. So hard. Just for you guys. Because I love you. But gently caress it, just trust me on this one. I'll give you an update if I ever find my long lost bio teacher.

quote:

Saw a hot girl in a bar that I had no chance with. I said "Hi, I think you're very beautiful" she said "thanks" and I continued "So tonight, when I go home, I'm going to think about you when I masturbate...and there's NOTHING you can do to stop me." She actually looked kinda flattered for a moment before leaving in a hurry.

quote:

Ok, first I wanna clear up that any similarities to a recently frontpaged post about a dude and his sister in law are only a concidence. Also, I know this is creepy as gently caress and I've never done anything like it before or after, but it's hosed up and I'm not gonna make excuses for it. Well, here goes:

A couple years ago, 19 year old me got asked to take care of the dogs at my GF's house while their whole family, including her, were on a trip. This pretty much meant I got to stay alone at her place the whole weekend, keeping the dogs company, feeding them, and playing videogames. poo poo was pretty cash.

Anyway, her pretty hot cousin lived there, and the last day of it I got into her room, not really planning to do anything weird at that moment, just walking around the house. Then I saw her netbook on her bed.......long story short, I got into it, spent a while searching the hard drive, and eventually hit the jackpot: nudes of the cousin. Plenty of them. And not just nude pictures, but actual sex pictures and a freaking VIDEO. I couldn't loving believe it. Fapped right there, went home, picked up an USB drive, went back and saved all of that stuff. I still have it stashed, hidden and encrypted of course. Did not get caught..... I'm a monster =(

TL;DR: Got into GF's hot cousin's netbook, found nudes and sex vid, fapped and kept the prize, still use it sometimes.

a million birds posted:

big duck equals goose posted:

Reddit admit creep thread.

wilderthanmild posted:

I'm pretty sure these things DID happen.

FrozenVent posted:

A biology teacher spent an entire year taking pictures of a student, then presented him with a collage of those pics?

I would freak the gently caress out.

FrozenVent posted:

A biology teacher spent an entire year taking pictures of a student, then presented him with a collage of those pics?

I would freak the gently caress out.