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Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

How Doers get more done
Fun Shoe

SynthOrange posted:

I started off a new game with a ruler designer Norse chief and was immediately beset by warnings that I need an heir. Immediate marriage didnt help, and after a few years, it became apparent that we were having bedroom troubles because my goddamn spymaster starts blackmailing me over that poo poo. Hell no. Still, I started up a plot to bump off my wife and try to get a new one in when GAME OVER.

That was probably one of the fastest CK2 sessions I had.

Did you not get a bunch of concubines?

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Synthbuttrange
May 6, 2007

That'd be WEIRD. Yeah I'm still trying to get around to that line of thinking.

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

How Doers get more done
Fun Shoe
If you're not using concubines as a pagan you're doing it wrong. Your children via them still inherit and you'll be having kids left and right with multiple wives thus ensuring your dynasties' future.

Of course, with gavelkind you'll then have a ton of sons to fight every time your eldest one inherits but gently caress it, that's for your son to deal with not you :colbert:.

Veryslightlymad
Jun 3, 2007

I fight with
my brain
and with an
underlying
hatred of the
Erebonian
Noble Faction
Not all concubines have to be captured rape slaves. You can take them from your own court and they won't have any negative opinion malus.

Cycloneman
Feb 1, 2009
ASK ME ABOUT
SISTER FUCKING
I sometimes feel bad because I almost never assassinate anybody for their claims out of a misguided sense of honor. Because it's much better to get thousands of people killed in bloody war after bloody war, than to just whack one dude, right? Any advice to overcome this misguided sense of "honor"?

GrabbinPeels
Jan 3, 2010

I only regret not giving up sooner.

Cycloneman posted:

I sometimes feel bad because I almost never assassinate anybody for their claims out of a misguided sense of honor. Because it's much better to get thousands of people killed in bloody war after bloody war, than to just whack one dude, right? Any advice to overcome this misguided sense of "honor"?

Click on the knife repeatedly until the weeping stops. :v: The way I see it it's every man for himself, and if it furthered his ambitions that guy would just as soon stab your rear end than do anything else. Hundreds of hours in this game have left me a jaded husk of a man who trusts no one; too many times my kingdom has crumbled because of other people. Too many times.

DrSunshine
Mar 23, 2009

Did I just say that out loud~~?!!!
Think of it less as "Killing a potential threat" and more as "Increasing the proportion of friends to enemies." All must obey the King in his realm. If someone is displeased, or ambitious, well, then eliminating them is not a problem-- after all, they are not your friends, and you would never ever kill a friend. Educate the heirs of vassals as children, and raise them to be content and craven. They will not resist.

Everyone agrees. Everyone is happy. The Kingdom is perfect.

HenessyHero
Mar 4, 2008

"I thought we had something, Shepard. Something real."
:qq:
I've had people remain in the independence faction at +71 opinion and then later declare war on me.




There are no friends in this life. Remember that when you're giving assassins the money.

Korwin
Jan 24, 2011

Daeren posted:

CK2 Republic Tutorial Update:

Absolutely everything has been going wrong in this Venice playthrough, and only some of it is attributable to my own dumb mistakes. It's actually kinda hilarious just how many things are going tits-up for the Contarinis. I'm looking at a few options for what I've done so far:

1) Scuttle entirely, restart and hope CK2 isn't as spiteful this go-round. Best option to look "professional."

2) Keep playing to the point where most players would abandon ship, package the run as "How NOT To Play A Republic," and restart trying to do better. Gives people an idea of what can go wrong, shows them how it can go right, and hopefully doesn't make me look like a total buffoon.

3) Keep playing in an attempt to claw my way back to doing well, present it all as-is, and hope it helps people learn from my mistakes and understand just how incredibly fragile an early-game Republic is if you're dedicated to not being a cheap bastard. Gives people an idea of what they're actually in for in non-ideal situations if they don't savescum or abandon the game, and I may be able to salvage this yet.

Try 3, if it goes down the drain. Claim you did 2 the whole time.

TaurusTorus
Mar 27, 2010

Grab the bullshit by the horns

Is there any way to get the pope back in Rome if he was kicked out? A pagan adventurer took Rome, so now I have the pope in Winchester. I retook Rome, but the pope stayed, will he ever go back, or is the papacy perpetually in my territory?

Knuc U Kinte
Aug 17, 2004

TaurusTorus posted:

Is there any way to get the pope back in Rome if he was kicked out? A pagan adventurer took Rome, so now I have the pope in Winchester. I retook Rome, but the pope stayed, will he ever go back, or is the papacy perpetually in my territory?

Did you try giving rome to the pope?

Strudel Man
May 19, 2003
ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

TaurusTorus posted:

Is there any way to get the pope back in Rome if he was kicked out? A pagan adventurer took Rome, so now I have the pope in Winchester. I retook Rome, but the pope stayed, will he ever go back, or is the papacy perpetually in my territory?
I'm pretty sure Catholics can always give titles to the pope. Did you try just giving him the county of Rome?

TaurusTorus
Mar 27, 2010

Grab the bullshit by the horns

Strudel Man posted:

I'm pretty sure Catholics can always give titles to the pope. Did you try just giving him the county of Rome?

Well, see, the problem is, after some shenanigans related to me not realizing what had happened, Rome passed outside my control, to Italy.

Strudel Man
May 19, 2003
ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

TaurusTorus posted:

Well, see, the problem is, after some shenanigans related to me not realizing what had happened, Rome passed outside my control, to Italy.
Ah. Then no, the Pope won't jump back on his own.

AAAAA! Real Muenster
Jul 12, 2008

My QB is also named Bort

Hey guys do you think I have enough titles?

I think this is a new record for me. I've been spending so much cash creating these duchies and building stuff in my demense that I have not bothered forming the Kingdoms of Lithuania or Rus yet. Also I cannot wait for my wonderful son to take over so I can use his one Pagan Subjugation war on Poland :allears:.

I cannot decide if I want to wait to form the Kingdom of Lithuania with my son: he could hand out alllllllll those duchies and have a ton of people that love him right off the bat, but I would be waiting a generation to start improving Crown Laws.

Also, when I reform the faith, do I lose the Pagan conquest casus belli, Pagan once-in-a-lifetime Subjugation wars, and raiding? Those things are not very clear (Yes I gain access to succession laws and Holy Wars, but...). On that note, unreformed Romuva already suffer the penalty to relations for vassal levies raised too long (as shown in the screenshot) unless those levies are being used for raiding, which I find odd.

edit: gah, the image is huge and I forget how to adjust its size, sorry guys

Belasarius
Feb 27, 2002
How do you choose your capital and also the holdings for your demense? Also how the gently caress am I supposed to reform Tengri, it is like impossible.

AAAAA! Real Muenster
Jul 12, 2008

My QB is also named Bort

Belasarius posted:

How do you choose your capital and also the holdings for your demense? Also how the gently caress am I supposed to reform Tengri, it is like impossible.

These are both very vague questions. Your capital is chosen for you depending on who you are at start. If you conquer more land you can move your capital once per lifetime, but with the new tech system it is not advisable to move it around often. To reform any pagan faith you need to conquer a minimum of three of its holy sites (turn on the religious map view, find the counties that are highlighted white, conquer them).

Cycloneman
Feb 1, 2009
ASK ME ABOUT
SISTER FUCKING
So, I'm playing as the Umayyads. The Aghlabids, sadly, took over Algiers, but then fortunately lost it in some succession crisis. So I go to look up the Moral Authority, curious if I have any hope of seeing them wind up as heretics. Moral Authority: 0%. What, I wonder, is the cause of this little misfortune? I look over the list of causes... seems like we have all the holy sites, are winning holy wars... what's the problem?



(check out his piety)

Pyromancer
Apr 29, 2011

This man must look upon the fire, smell of it, warm his hands by it, stare into its heart

Belasarius posted:

How do you choose your capital and also the holdings for your demense? Also how the gently caress am I supposed to reform Tengri, it is like impossible.
Take some coastal county with 4-5 holding slots for capital(coasts bring more gold and give you ships) and counties around it along the coast as demesne, destroy duchy titles covering these counties to avoid negative opinions.
I've seen NPC Hungary reform tengri, if AI can do it it must be easy :colbert:

Protagorean
May 19, 2013

by Azathoth
Just a heads up: I don't know if this is CK2+, the KS mods, or just :CK2:, but I've had three or so Grand Tournaments bug the gently caress out, so you basically enjoy an unbreakable peace from when you invoke it to when you die. Hope you didn't want to do any Grand Hunts or Feasts, though!

Another buggy mod thing, most of the events added with Old Gods (I think?) work fine, but with a few, instead of flavor text, you just get what I presume is the command line for the event in question. Luckily, I'm good at contextual reading.

kingturnip
Apr 18, 2008
There's a particular province in Estonia where at least two Counts have declared war for Independence from their Duke.
Except the Counts in question have had no friends, while the Duke/Jarl is of my Dynasty and immediately calls half my realm into the war on his side. The wars haven't lasted all that long.

Also, with my ruler getting on in years now, the number of troops I can call up is getting ridiculous - over 100k, with my retinues.
I'm just hoping he can last long enough for his fifth son to come of age so I don't get some clueless Regent loving everything up.

toasterwarrior
Nov 11, 2011
I've captured and ransomed my Berber neighbours' children and wives so goddamned much through raids, I might as well install a revolving door in my dungeons.

I always end up releasing those whose husbands/fathers wouldn't even pay for their ransom though. That's just ice cold for a time where family was such a big deal.

Dezztroy
Dec 28, 2012
Are you supposed to lose your ability to raid when you reform the Norse faith? Or is that just a bug in the current CK2+?

BI NOW GAY LATER
Jan 17, 2008

So people stop asking, the "Bi" in my username is a reference to my love for the two greatest collegiate sports programs in the world, the Virginia Tech Hokies and the Marshall Thundering Herd.

Protagorean posted:

God loving damnit, the King of Lombardy won't let me marry his bastard daughter I've been betrothed to because he's loving her. :ughh:

Hawt.

Belasarius
Feb 27, 2002

Pyromancer posted:

Take some coastal county with 4-5 holding slots for capital(coasts bring more gold and give you ships) and counties around it along the coast as demesne, destroy duchy titles covering these counties to avoid negative opinions.
I've seen NPC Hungary reform tengri, if AI can do it it must be easy :colbert:

I mean, I could do it once they all turn Muslim, with holy wars, but I can't until then. :( My first ruler put it in like Bohemia or something because it had one less than max holdings but now I have Venice, which seems a better place for it. Do you keep churches and cities for yourself in that province/duchy or what? My ruler designer character can have like 16 holdings now that he is an Emperor so I've been having trouble figuring out where to stick all my holdings.

Rynoto
Apr 27, 2009
It doesn't help that I'm fat as fuck, so my face shouldn't be shown off in the first place.

Dezztroy posted:

Are you supposed to lose your ability to raid when you reform the Norse faith? Or is that just a bug in the current CK2+?

Feature. It is to help balance out the Norse.

meatbag
Apr 2, 2007
Clapping Larry
I'm having a weird problem in my Britannia game. There is a huge civil war, and the kings of Scotland and Ireland rebel (I had to give out the titles two emperors prior). When I win, my empire is immediately disbanded because there are too few holdings in my realm. Is this a CK2+ problem?

Allyn
Sep 4, 2007

I love Charlie from Busted!
Found a weird oddity... there's a strait between Tadjourna and Taizz/Aden (just north of the horn of Africa) but there's no mention of it in any of the provinces. Do Paradox fix this kind of thing if it gets posted on their forum?

Dezztroy
Dec 28, 2012

Rynoto posted:

Feature. It is to help balance out the Norse.

Oh, alright. Thanks. I guess being able to use succession laws makes up for it, but I sure do miss looting Venice for 200 gold.

Dirt Worshipper
Apr 2, 2007

Paralithodes Californiensis

Cycloneman posted:



(check out his piety)

Someone's been drawing cartoons of the Prophet.

Hazmat Sam
Dec 25, 2010

The dead do not "get high"
Zoroastrian advice:

1. The Saffarids' easternmost duchy composes half their territory. Take it while they're fighting their starting invasion. Taking it first will mean that neither side can actually field enough men to win said invasion, so you'll have 50 years of casually sniping Peria to look forward to.
2. Park your diplomat in Baghdad and kiss the Abbasids' rear end until you're ready to kick it instead. 100 relations mean he will not intervene in your holy wars. You lose claim fabrication, but you shouldn't care because you can holy war everything you want anyway.
3. Horse archer mercenaries are devastating. They can easily take on armies three times their size and they can outrun anything. Plus, the garrisons are so lovely in Persia that they can usually assault solo and thus pay for themselves.
4. You will eventually need to take Mesopotamia from the Arabian Empire. To do that, wait till the Caliph is at 100 relations and hen holy war the Cumans and everyone else north of you till you hit Slavs (They have defensive pagan bonuses) or the Baltic. It's usually the later, but you'll have enough men when you're done either way.
5. Wait till the Byzantines go to war with the Caliphate (this should happen after every truce they make) and double team those arabs. Don't take your diplomat off, you want the Caliph to still like you somewhat when you're done.
6. Repeat step 5 until Perisan empire restored.

beefart
Jul 5, 2007

IT'S ON THE HOUSE OF AMON
~grandmaaaaaaa~

Cycloneman posted:




(check out his piety)

"You mean it's haraam to eat McRibs? Daaaaaaaamn man I've been eating them like every day, even during Ramadan."

EDIT: Holy poo poo look at that cash he's got on him. I guess he missed the Prophet's (pbuh) farewell speech on usury. Caliph who charge interest on he own loans, a shameful Caliph.

beefart fucked around with this message at 05:43 on Jul 12, 2013

duralict
Sep 18, 2007

this isn't hug club at all
I'm playing as a the Norse emperor of Britannia. I haven't been able to convert a single province in my own demesne (currently that's about 8 counties in England). I'm getting popups every few minutes from vassals saying that their provinces are successfully converting, so it's only affecting my own territory. I've also only been assigning men as seers because of the bug that doesn't allow chaplain events to fire for women, the faith has been reformed and at 100% moral authority the entire time because of my constant holy wars, and I'm sitting on about 17k piety. Am I missing something else? Why can't I get anything in my demesne to convert?

Zurai
Feb 13, 2012


Wait -- I haven't even voted in this game yet!

I think it's just a perception issue. You have one chaplain trying to convert one province. Your vassals collectively have <number of vassals> chaplains trying to convert <number of vassals> provinces. That naturally means you'll see way more (and way more frequent) vassal conversion popups than own-chaplain conversion popups.

The conversion chance itself is fairly low, usually like 10% a year or less. It's not uncommon for it to take a couple decades to convert a province if you've only got one dude working on it.

binge crotching
Apr 2, 2010

You can also try giving away the provinces you want to be converted to the Godi in each province, and then steal them all back after they are converted

BillBear
Mar 13, 2013

Ask me about running my country straight into the ground every time I play EU4 multiplayer.

Cycloneman posted:

So, I'm playing as the Umayyads. The Aghlabids, sadly, took over Algiers, but then fortunately lost it in some succession crisis. So I go to look up the Moral Authority, curious if I have any hope of seeing them wind up as heretics. Moral Authority: 0%. What, I wonder, is the cause of this little misfortune? I look over the list of causes... seems like we have all the holy sites, are winning holy wars... what's the problem?



(check out his piety)

Ouch.. what the gently caress did he do?

duralict
Sep 18, 2007

this isn't hug club at all

Zurai posted:

I think it's just a perception issue. You have one chaplain trying to convert one province. Your vassals collectively have <number of vassals> chaplains trying to convert <number of vassals> provinces. That naturally means you'll see way more (and way more frequent) vassal conversion popups than own-chaplain conversion popups.

The conversion chance itself is fairly low, usually like 10% a year or less. It's not uncommon for it to take a couple decades to convert a province if you've only got one dude working on it.

The thing is, the new territory is all flipping in less than a decade. I've holy warred myself about 30 new counties in the last twenty years and only two of them haven't converted, but my own two duchies have been stubbornly Catholic through four generations of rulers and about ten generations of seers. Also none of the seers has had less than 18 in Learning, if that matters. I've got to be missing something.

e: giving them away to vassals temporarily does make them convert almost immediately, too. This has to be a problem with something I'm doing. Or maybe a bug...

Lareine
Jul 22, 2007

KIIIRRRYYYUUUUU CHAAAANNNNNN
I don't think it's fair that when the Pope approaches me to switch back to Papal Investiture, my only two choices are between switching back and taking a prestige hit or being loving EXCOMMUNICATED.

BillBear
Mar 13, 2013

Ask me about running my country straight into the ground every time I play EU4 multiplayer.

Lareine posted:

I don't think it's fair that when the Pope approaches me to switch back to Papal Investiture, my only two choices are between switching back and taking a prestige hit or being loving EXCOMMUNICATED.

That's the only time a high learning stat will save your rear end.

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Bloody Pancreas
Feb 21, 2008


Or high stewardship to pay him off.

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