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I think the last thread got closed because of me arguing against bed sharing over cry it out so I'll be civil. Please do not bed share if you are not impoverished and you have no options. It is dangerous and can be fatal (and underreported). My wife accidentally fell asleep with my daughter and she rolled over the pillow line keeping her in and she ended up breaking her clavicle. A 3 am er visit and $500 later, she spent a few days laid up and a few months away from slides and she was back to perfect other than a bone callus that may never go away. I know it's not part of the current kid raising discussion in our culture but it is important to remember that it can be a bad idea.
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Jul 13, 2013 21:47
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Bed sharing and crib sleeping both have their dangers, it's pointless to argue one way or another especially based on your own personal experience. I could easily say bedsharing is totally safe because I did it with Chris for 9 months with no incidents. On the actual subject, if they're becoming intolerable to sleep with, time to start the eviction process in my opinion. I kicked Chris out when we were both getting such lousy night sleep bedsharing it was no longer a benefit.
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Jul 13, 2013 22:59
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Have people who say their baby won't sleep without bed sharing tried swaddling? I am interested to know because my baby never sleeps more than an hour without swaddling. I use things like the halo sleep sack swaddler (it has Velcro) not the ordinary blankets as they just collapse into a loose heap after baby has wriggled in them for a while. I think it only works on newborns so I will need another solution eventually.
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Jul 13, 2013 23:41
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I swaddled my baby, she had to be swaddled all the time to help her clavicle that had been broken in childbirth heal. She still slept better bedsharing. One of the reasons I started bedsharing is because she hated her bassinet and I'd spend hours rocking her to sleep at night only to have her wake up 20 minutes later. I ended up falling asleep accidentally while I was rocking her, twice. I was so panicky both times when I woke up, I knew I needed more sleep.
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Jul 14, 2013 00:34
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crazyvanman posted:Does anyone have any recommendations for baby shoes that don't use animal products? TOMS shoes has really cute vegan options for babies/toddlers. My son is 20 months and likes his. They can be pricey, but I see them on deal sites like zulily pretty regularly, and they have a 1-for-1 thing where they give shoes to charity, also.
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Jul 14, 2013 01:00
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DwemerCog posted:Have people who say their baby won't sleep without bed sharing tried swaddling? I am interested to know because my baby never sleeps more than an hour without swaddling. I use things like the halo sleep sack swaddler (it has Velcro) not the ordinary blankets as they just collapse into a loose heap after baby has wriggled in them for a while. I think it only works on newborns so I will need another solution eventually. We swaddled until Simon was 4 months old and stopped when he began rolling over in his sleep and it became unsafe for his arms to be swaddled. He sleeps ok in his bed, we only bed share after his 3am feeding because I usually fall asleep while nursing him. There is literally no way he can fall out of bed as he sleeps between me and my husband, and as of right now it allows me to get another 3 hours of sleep without him waking up constantly. If that changes we will reassess.
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Jul 14, 2013 02:12
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I don't think I'd feel safe bed-sharing until she is bigger. I'd worry about rolling over and smothering her, or getting bedding over her and smothering her. I hope I can wean her off swaddling without too many issues. She's only 2 months old now.
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Jul 14, 2013 02:49
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DwemerCog posted:Have people who say their baby won't sleep without bed sharing tried swaddling? I am interested to know because my baby never sleeps more than an hour without swaddling. I use things like the halo sleep sack swaddler (it has Velcro) not the ordinary blankets as they just collapse into a loose heap after baby has wriggled in them for a while. I think it only works on newborns so I will need another solution eventually. I did swaddle, and that got us through the first 4 months or so, but at 13 months, swaddling isn't really any option anymore. We didn't bed share at all until he was around 10 months old because I had safety concerns, and I don't particularly enjoy it now. I just can't find any other way to get him back to sleep after he wakes up. We have tons of sleep problems with this little guy in general (barely sleeps, barely naps, wtf) but I figure I can't complain too much since he's pretty easy in every other aspect. The way I look at it, every kid is going to have things that are a struggle and this just happens to be his. EDIT: Just to be clear, it wasn't a "oh he's 10 months now, let's put the baby in our bed!" it was more that nothing else worked and after month after month of very little sleep and nothing else working, we just gave in. Every night we try to put him to sleep in his crib first, but he eventually ends up in our bed during the night. Mnemosyne fucked around with this message at 04:44 on Jul 14, 2013 |
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Jul 14, 2013 04:41
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Schweig und tanze posted:We swaddled until Simon was 4 months old and stopped when he began rolling over in his sleep and it became unsafe for his arms to be swaddled. He sleeps ok in his bed, we only bed share after his 3am feeding because I usually fall asleep while nursing him. There is literally no way he can fall out of bed as he sleeps between me and my husband, and as of right now it allows me to get another 3 hours of sleep without him waking up constantly. If that changes we will reassess. Yea this is basically what we do and did. Swaddled for the first 3 or 4 months when the 5 S's were still effective, and he sleeps in the crib until around 2am or 3am wakeup when it becomes easier for us to just co-sleep. Co-sleeping is absolutely wonderful and I highly recommend it if you don't have any of the risk factors (overweight, smoker, drinker). Some of my favorite moments have been in that early morning when the whole family is waking up and there is nothing like waking up together. On Father's Day my 6.5-month-old literally turned to me and babbled, "hi dada" as we were waking up and it was the most  moment imaginable. I don't care that it was just baby babble, it was cooler than any Father's Day gift I could have imagined.
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Jul 14, 2013 04:54
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DwemerCog posted:I don't think I'd feel safe bed-sharing until she is bigger. I'd worry about rolling over and smothering her, or getting bedding over her and smothering her. I hope I can wean her off swaddling without too many issues. She's only 2 months old now. I wouldn't worry about weaning from swaddling. V only slept swaddled for the first 6 months and she made it very clear when she no longer wanted it. It wasn't a hard transition. Of course she sleeps like poo poo nowadays but that's not related. She was waking every 2 hours while swaddled too. The first time she woke up on her tummy I almost had a heart attack but now she prefers her side and tummy while in the crib. On her back if in the bed.
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Jul 14, 2013 11:40
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frenchnewwave posted:I wouldn't worry about weaning from swaddling. V only slept swaddled for the first 6 months and she made it very clear when she no longer wanted it. It wasn't a hard transition. Of course she sleeps like poo poo nowadays but that's not related. She was waking every 2 hours while swaddled too. It's a hard transition for us at almost a year as my son still won't sleep un-swaddled. He'll occasionally sleep unswaddled but he has to be extremely tired for this to happen. Bed sharing can be safe if practiced safely. You shouldn't have multitudes of pillows in a bed or heavy blankets and you definitely shouldn't be using pillows as a barrier to keep your child from rolling out of said bed. Just because you or your spouse practiced un-safe methods of bed sharing doesn't automatically make it extremely unsafe. You do what's best for your family. As an aside we don't bed share because it's not ideal for our family. We do co-sleep in the same room (his crib's in our room) because that's what IS ideal for us. bamzilla fucked around with this message at 15:21 on Jul 14, 2013 |
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Jul 14, 2013 15:19
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Ariza posted:Please do not bed share if you are not impoverished and you have no options.  I'm not going to go into the whole thing again, but I worked in pediatrics at a hospital in a very impoverished area for a few years and all the cosleeping deaths we saw were people who couldn't afford/didn't know how to get a donated crib, lived in total unsafe shitholes because they had no choice, or had substance abuse problems which led to cosleeping under the influence. We bedshared and I have posted about it multiple times. It was what worked best for our family.
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Jul 14, 2013 16:01
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Has anyone ever done this with two kids? My toddler (he'll be about 32 months when new baby arrives), comes into my bed in the middle of the night, which I'm fine with. He can be a little kick-y, but generally sleeps through the night at that point. I'll have a bassinet beside the bed for the baby, but with nursing, etc., the baby will probably be moving into the bed with me at some point. Should I just get rails for both sides and keep myself in the middle? Should I wean my kid off of coming into bed with me? I don't really have a desire to buy a cosleeper (and most of them were recalled here anyway), but I don't think the mesh side rails are designed for small babies, more toddlers. I could also possibly rotate my bed so that the side is up against the wall, rather than the head being against the wall.
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Jul 14, 2013 18:34
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I would push the bed against the wall and stay in the middle between the two kids.
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Jul 14, 2013 18:52
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Alex has slept in her crib since the beginning, with an IR audio/video monitor. Having her sleep through the night since 6 months has been magical 
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Jul 14, 2013 21:28
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ChloroformSeduction posted:Has anyone ever done this with two kids? My toddler (he'll be about 32 months when new baby arrives), comes into my bed in the middle of the night, which I'm fine with. He can be a little kick-y, but generally sleeps through the night at that point. I didn't let the older kids sleep in the bed when the baby was a newborn if I wasn't awake. I was uncomfortable with it because kids can sleep so deeply and can thrash about quite a bit. It also isn't recommended for safe cosleeping practices. I did put a crib/toddler mattress on the floor beside my bed and they were allowed to crash there. When the baby was old enough that it wasn't a worry anymore, the mattress went in the other room.
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Jul 15, 2013 00:15
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My daughter was swaddled for ages and ages, well past a year. We swaddled her arms only after awhile. She might have even been 2 and still couldn't sleep unless she had her arms swaddled.
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Jul 15, 2013 00:36
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Nathan on the other hand was never swaddled, except for the first couple days of his life where a hospital nurse would occasionally try it. He just hated it, likely because it interfered with his constant karate chops, which continued even when he was sleeping.
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Jul 15, 2013 02:02
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If you have a kid that likes swaddling or needs it to sleep but keeps wriggling out, I highly recommend the miracle blanket. It's the only swaddle sack/blanket/etc that our little Houdini can't get out of.
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Jul 15, 2013 03:00
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My son loved swaddling and was swaddled for naps and sleep until he was a year. My daughter absolutely hates it and will scream bloody murder if I try it. Also a reminder with swaddling, remember to not swaddle the legs tightly. For hip development, the legs should be allowed to be free enough that the baby can move them freely.
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Jul 15, 2013 08:06
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sheri posted:If you have a kid that likes swaddling or needs it to sleep but keeps wriggling out, I highly recommend the miracle blanket. It's the only swaddle sack/blanket/etc that our little Houdini can't get out of. I have two of these, never used, because she can get out of them so easily. Ones with velcro or poppers are your friend. I like the Aden & Anais ones that fasten with poppers right now, as it is so easy to reswaddle in the dark and they don't velcro themselves to the rest of the laundry! I can't manage swaddling with blankets alone, she breaks out instantly, so my baby will have to give up swaddling when she no longer fits the commercial swaddlers, which will be about 4-6 months.
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Jul 15, 2013 12:39
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DwemerCog posted:I can't manage swaddling with blankets alone, she breaks out instantly, so my baby will have to give up swaddling when she no longer fits the commercial swaddlers, which will be about 4-6 months. You can get Wombies on sale from time to time. They fit up to 25lbs.
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Jul 15, 2013 13:26
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bamzilla posted:You can get Wombies on sale from time to time. They fit up to 25lbs. I tried them but they are way too tight in the legs, she can't move her legs up or apart in them, and that is supposed to be super bad for baby hips. I have an entire box of rejected baby swaddling solutions.
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Jul 15, 2013 15:02
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DwemerCog posted:I tried them but they are way too tight in the legs, she can't move her legs up or apart in them, and that is supposed to be super bad for baby hips. Try unzipping it from the bottom. My daughter wore a Frejka's pillow which spread her legs apart and I managed to put her in the woombie that way. She hated it though 
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Jul 15, 2013 15:08
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DwemerCog posted:I tried them but they are way too tight in the legs, she can't move her legs up or apart in them, and that is supposed to be super bad for baby hips. The new Ergo swaddler looks like it'd be good for babies who hulk out of swaddles. http://store.ergobaby.com/swaddler They're pricey but I imagine it'd be worth it if it helps baby sleep, and if not you'd likely have an easy time reselling it.
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Jul 15, 2013 15:23
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DwemerCog posted:I have two of these, never used, because she can get out of them so easily. Ones with velcro or poppers are your friend. I like the Aden & Anais ones that fasten with poppers right now, as it is so easy to reswaddle in the dark and they don't velcro themselves to the rest of the laundry! That's funny-- that's the only one he can't get out of. I too have a swaddle reject graveyard. Halo, Summer Infant, something that uses snaps, etc. swaddling with regular blankets is the worst though.
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Jul 15, 2013 15:47
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When V started breaking out of her swaddles I did the double swaddle method. You can look it up on YouTube. Basically it wrapped her arms by her sides so she couldn't break out. That got us through the smacking-herself-in-the-face phase.
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Jul 15, 2013 20:16
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Schweig und tanze posted:The new Ergo swaddler looks like it'd be good for babies who hulk out of swaddles. Maybe it's time to add something else to my swaddle graveyard  This seems to prevent the baby from wiggling her arms out to her mouth, which is how my baby always escapes. I think I'll wait until she grows out of her current swaddles. I have spent way too much on baby gadgets and clothes!
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Jul 15, 2013 22:52
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dreamcatcherkwe posted:I didn't let the older kids sleep in the bed when the baby was a newborn if I wasn't awake. I was uncomfortable with it because kids can sleep so deeply and can thrash about quite a bit. It also isn't recommended for safe cosleeping practices. I did put a crib/toddler mattress on the floor beside my bed and they were allowed to crash there. When the baby was old enough that it wasn't a worry anymore, the mattress went in the other room. That makes sense - everything I've read has basically said toddler + newborn isn't a great combination. How old would it be when you felt it wasn't much of a worry?
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Jul 16, 2013 03:42
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Speaking of which, for those of you with both newborns and toddlers, how does the sleeping situation work out? I would expect that when the newborn wakes up every few hours screaming, it would wake up the toddler and make them grumpy an poorly rested. Do they just sleep through it instead?
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Jul 16, 2013 13:20
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Volmarias posted:Speaking of which, for those of you with both newborns and toddlers, how does the sleeping situation work out? I would expect that when the newborn wakes up every few hours screaming, it would wake up the toddler and make them grumpy an poorly rested. Do they just sleep through it instead? Mine did, for a while we had a two year old in a cot and a newborn in a moses basket in our bedroom and Connor never woke up when the baby cried (though I would get her up and feed her as soon as she started grumping). But then Connor sleeps through most things which is probably why it wasn't any hassle keeping him in with us for so long.
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Jul 16, 2013 13:38
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ChloroformSeduction posted:That makes sense - everything I've read has basically said toddler + newborn isn't a great combination. How old would it be when you felt it wasn't much of a worry? It probably depends on the kid. Probably around a year or so. Volmarias posted:Speaking of which, for those of you with both newborns and toddlers, how does the sleeping situation work out? I would expect that when the newborn wakes up every few hours screaming, it would wake up the toddler and make them grumpy an poorly rested. Do they just sleep through it instead? It depends how deep your toddler sleeps. If they're a super light sleeper, it's going to be an issue.
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Jul 16, 2013 13:51
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I asked in the pregnancy thread and didn't get a response so I'll post it here too. I have 18 kawaii newborn cloth diapers I'm not using anymore. They are this model. http://www.theluvyourbaby.com/little-green-baby-bamboo-6-22-lbs/ Used from about 2-5 months with my exclusively breast fed baby. He's in one size diapers now and we don't use these. Full disclosure the laundry tab velcro doesn't stick very well anymore. I just attach the velcro to the normal part when I launder them. If you're interested I'll let them go cheap.
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Jul 16, 2013 16:56
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Volmarias posted:Speaking of which, for those of you with both newborns and toddlers, how does the sleeping situation work out? I would expect that when the newborn wakes up every few hours screaming, it would wake up the toddler and make them grumpy an poorly rested. Do they just sleep through it instead? It was the opposite for us and still is. Our almost 4 year old wakes up randomly and for a while after the baby was born insisted on sleeping in our room. She's loud and our son goes to bed at 6 while she goes to bed around 9-10ish. So, she still wakes him up from time to time. He's also a light sleeper whereas she's a heavy sleeper.
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Jul 17, 2013 05:42
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My brother and sister in law just came up for a visit, as well as having a two year old who was born a week after Connor they also have another little girl who was born the week after Ellie. Ellie was born 6 weeks premature weighing 5lb and their baby was born 17 days late weighing 8lb 11oz so I was expecting there to be a massive difference in them but when we saw her she didn't seem that big at all. My sister in law had said that she'd got really miserable over the last month, basically screaming for hours a day for no reason. On Monday I suggested we went and weighed the babies at the drop in clinic and now there's only a pound difference between the two of them, their little girl has dropped from the 75% percentile to the 9th percentile so it turns out rather than screaming for hours a day for no reason it's because she wasn't getting enough milk  My sister in law is devestated, she breastfed her oldest with no problems and I think it didn't even occur to her that there could be a problem, especially as the baby is sleeping through the night.I've suggested the usual stuff, gave her my breast pump, told her to wake the baby for feeds, drink loads, etc but I feel a bit lovely and horrible about the whole thing. I felt guilty breastfeeding Ellie in front of her after we found out, my sister in law is so much more passionate about breastfeeding than I am and supplementing with bottles is really depressing her (as well as the fact her baby was screaming for food and she didn't realise). I always feel sympathetic when I read about people struggling with breastfeeding in these threads but seeing it first hand has been horrible.
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Jul 17, 2013 14:51
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hookerbot 5000 posted:I always feel sympathetic when I read about people struggling with breastfeeding in these threads but seeing it first hand has been horrible. I was in the same boat. I nursed my son no problems for 13 months, he was full and happy and healthy. My daughter was born bigger than my son, seemed to be progressing fine, then started dropping off in weight. I didn't think anything of it because she never complained. She rarely cries, sleeps through the night, and was still rather chubby. But, I just wasn't producing enough and I've started to supplement. She shot up from 11.5 pounds at her 4-month check-up to 16 pounds at her 6-month check-up. We still have a little more to add, but we're starting her on solids next week so we'll see how it goes. I was pretty bummed to start adding formula, like I failed as a mom. But, she's happy and healthy as ever, and I can actually now leave her with grandparents and babysitters without a time constraint for nursing. I still nurse her in the mornings, evenings, and as much as I can during the day. But, in all honesty, adding formula to the mix has really made my juggling her and her toddler brother a lot more manageable. I can feed her with a bottle while she's in the stroller or carseat while entertaining my toddler. I can drop the bottle if her brother is acting up or something. It's been a tough pill to swallow, letting go of my mommy ideal of nursing for 12 months, but it has honestly worked out for the best. We've found some good deals on formula, and my pediatrician gave us a ton to start with, so it hasn't cost us much either. It will likely be a hard thing for her to accept, but hopefully she finds a great formula her kid will respond well to and she comes to accept the many benefits of formula feeding.
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Jul 17, 2013 17:14
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Sleeping through the night early on can actually be problematic for milk supplies. The hormones that help govern supply are the most active between 2 am and 5 am, so feeding during that time does the most to maintain and boost supply. If a young baby (less than six months) is sleeping through the night, it's generally a good idea for mom to pump sometime in that time frame.
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Jul 17, 2013 21:30
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I had a terrible experience with breastfeeding, which I partly blame on the pediatrician. At V's first appointment when she was 3 or 4 days old, the ped became concerned that she had lost 8% of her weight. At the time I didn't realize this was normal because I was a new mom and sleep deprived and paranoid. The ped immediately told me that some women just can't breastfeed and I'm probably one of them. She said if the baby wasn't back to her birth weight by the weekend, then I'd have to feed her formula. So, I started supplementing because I felt so pressured. I wish I had waited a few more days, because it really did take a little while for my milk to come in, but I wonder if I would have started producing enough. But it was too late and she'd put enough doubt in my mind that I psyched myself out of it. She almost had me giving up on breastfeeding completely, but my husband was smart enough to urge me to keep at it. On the plus side, V took to the bottle easily and when I went back to work and her dad/grandmom had to feed her, it was no problem.
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Jul 18, 2013 13:49
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skeetied posted:Sleeping through the night early on can actually be problematic for milk supplies. The hormones that help govern supply are the most active between 2 am and 5 am, so feeding during that time does the most to maintain and boost supply. If a young baby (less than six months) is sleeping through the night, it's generally a good idea for mom to pump sometime in that time frame. Is this true? My exclusively breastfeed 2 month old has slept through the night from 3 weeks old. Unless she wakes and cries (happens about twice a week) I don't feed her from 10pm to 6 am. I hope I am not accidentally starving her. She'd be happy to be woken at 3am to be fed, but I do like my sleep. The pediatrician didn't say she was too light at the checkup.
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Jul 18, 2013 14:11
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| # ? May 13, 2024 23:17 |
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Edit: ^^ My son slept through the night from 2 months and I didn't think much of it and didn't have a problem with feeding so I think it must vary a fair bit. VorpalBunny posted:I was in the same boat. I nursed my son no problems for 13 months, he was full and happy and healthy. My daughter was born bigger than my son, seemed to be progressing fine, then started dropping off in weight. I didn't think anything of it because she never complained. She rarely cries, sleeps through the night, and was still rather chubby. But, I just wasn't producing enough and I've started to supplement. She shot up from 11.5 pounds at her 4-month check-up to 16 pounds at her 6-month check-up. We still have a little more to add, but we're starting her on solids next week so we'll see how it goes. I remembered you had had a similar problem, I'm really glad to hear that it is going well skeetied posted:Sleeping through the night early on can actually be problematic for milk supplies. The hormones that help govern supply are the most active between 2 am and 5 am, so feeding during that time does the most to maintain and boost supply. If a young baby (less than six months) is sleeping through the night, it's generally a good idea for mom to pump sometime in that time frame. Thanks, I'd said to her that feeding through the night was important so I think she's waking her up for feeds now. When I was pumping for Ellie in special care they said to make sure to pump at least once between 12am and 5am, that must have been why. frenchnewwave posted:I had a terrible experience with breastfeeding, which I partly blame on the pediatrician. At V's first appointment when she was 3 or 4 days old, the ped became concerned that she had lost 8% of her weight. At the time I didn't realize this was normal because I was a new mom and sleep deprived and paranoid. The ped immediately told me that some women just can't breastfeed and I'm probably one of them. She said if the baby wasn't back to her birth weight by the weekend, then I'd have to feed her formula. So, I started supplementing because I felt so pressured. I wish I had waited a few more days, because it really did take a little while for my milk to come in, but I wonder if I would have started producing enough. But it was too late and she'd put enough doubt in my mind that I psyched myself out of it. She almost had me giving up on breastfeeding completely, but my husband was smart enough to urge me to keep at it. It is really hard working out the good advice from the unnecessary. Ellie was pretty slow gaining weight at the start and the health visitor suggested supplementing but she just didn't seem to like bottles and would take half an hour to drink an ounce tops before getting ratty and refusing any more, wasn't upset in general and breastfed a lot so I didn't really push it too hard - she was putting on at least 4oz a week which is in the normal range if a bit on the low side. The funny thing is as soon as she hit her due date her weekly weight gain doubled and after only gaining 13oz in the first six weeks she's put on another 4lb in the eight weeks since (and at 14 weeks is double her birthweight) and I've not changed anything. hookerbot 5000 fucked around with this message at 14:14 on Jul 18, 2013 |
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Jul 18, 2013 14:11
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