Slow Smoking Meat: I'm a Microbiologist, Dumbass.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > Slow Smoking Meat: I'm a Microbiologist, Dumbass.

vulturesrow: Sep 25, 2011; _{Always gotta pay it forward.}

coronaball posted:

This weekend, I'm taking my WSM camping and I have to provide pulled pork for 15 adults, 2 kids, and 4 toddlers. I'm thinking two 5-6 pound boston butts will be sufficient. anybody disagree?

The most common estimation I've seen used is a 1/2 lb per person so that seems about right.

# ? Jul 9, 2013 03:45

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# ? May 15, 2024 22:59

b0bx13: Jun 14, 2006

20 lbs has always fed 10 pigs/firemen for 2 meals when I make it for work, so you should be good.

# ? Jul 9, 2013 05:01

Nhilist: Jul 29, 2004; I like it quiet in here

Doom Rooster posted:

Well, the whole pig roast was a learning experience. Which is to say, a complete, abject failure that yielded no edible meat, a pretty horrible smell and a 70lb bio hazard to dispose of.

We could tell as soon as we peeled back the burlap(with about 15 people watching in anticipation. Joy.) that it was not supposed to smell like that. When we got the parchment off, poking at the meat yielded a completely rubbery texture.

We apparently did not have even close to enough coals. Also, it was pretty obvious by the way the manager's voice sounded when I called the day before to confirm pickup time, that the place I ordered it from had not actually ordered it, and he called me back an hour later after "confirming with the distributor that the delivery was still on schedule". When we picked it up, it was deep frozen, solid as a rock. I put it in a cooler, with a running warm water hose in the cavity for about 4 hours, and it was then pliable. When using the injector though, I could feel that the meat was still partially frozen. We were about to be overdue for putting it on the fire already, and we thought that we had plenty of coals after 2 hours of burning, so we put it on anyway.

We were wrong. I managed to stomach the smell long enough to temp the pig out of morbid curiousity, which turned out to be at a balmy 118f.

Lessons for next time:

1) Bigger fire, longer, for more coals
2) Find a better butcher, or call them 2-3 days in advance as well to confirm, so it has a chance to thaw out
3) Shovel some coals on top of the pig before burying it

Silver Linings:

1) It was actually a blast hanging out with 4 friends, digging a big hole, prepping a pig, and drinking beer. A badass neighbor taking his horses out saw what we were doing, thought it was awesome, so decided to chill out, then brought out his chainsaw and helped us cut up a big dead pecan tree for firewood.
2) We found a pretty solid BBQ place only 2 miles from the house that got us enough meat to serve 20 people in under 30 minutes.
3) My company was footing the entire bill anyway, so I wasn't actually out the $300 for the ruined pig.

Even though the result was a disaster, the process was so much fun, we already started planning the next one. Can't get any worse that this one, and we learned a lot, so we have high hopes.

Great story (since you had fun) I know the next one will be better, besides, you always do a test run on a new recipe, albeit usually not dealing with a 300lb corpse

Don't forget to post the next attempt.

# ? Jul 9, 2013 13:16

TouchyMcFeely: Aug 21, 2006; High five! Hell yeah!

Doom Rooster posted:

Well, the whole pig roast was a learning experience. Which is to say, a complete, abject failure that yielded no edible meat, a pretty horrible smell and a 70lb bio hazard to dispose of.

That's too bad. Whole pig roasts are fun but it sucks when it doesn't go right.

If you can get away with a permanent pit, line it with sand filled cinder blocks. When I've done roasts in the past it's the hot stones that end up cooking the pig long after the fire and coals have gone out.

Additionally, I typically layer from bottom to top like this: stones > coals > leaves > soaked burlap covered pig > leaves > soaked naked canvas tarp > dirt. Make sure you pile the dirt so that as much is covering the pig as possible (the burlap will sink into the hole so make sure it's plenty large enough so you don't lose the sides) then cover any place you see smoke. Smoke = oxygen = flare up = bad.

The biggest issue with the underground pig, as you found out, is that there is no control once the thing is buried. There's no way to turn up the heat, stoke the fire, or correct a mistake. Worse, you won't know there was a mistake until it's too late.

I really like doing pig roasts but the uncertainty and lack of control with the Kahlua style pushed me towards a rotisserie. There is also the China Smoke Box that looks like it would work pretty well and you can always build your own if that's more your style.

Sorry to hear it didn't go great but hopefully it hasn't turned you off of the whole thing. Whole hog roasting is amazing when it goes well and is a ton of fun for everyone involved.

# ? Jul 9, 2013 13:41

Doom Rooster: Sep 3, 2008; Pillbug

Yeah, we are definitely going to try again. The process was a hell of a lot of fun, and ours should be a pretty easy problem to fix. We are out in Austin, so we hit rock/clay after about a foot, so had to spend about 90 minutes with two pickaxes to get the hole dug. Now that we have done that, future attempts should also be way easier.

Alternatively, the guy who owns the place we did it at just moved here from California, bought land, makes a hefty amount of money, and is in the market for a badass smoker, so maybe we could convince PhotoKirk to haul a big Gator Pit out here and do a pig demo for us...

# ? Jul 9, 2013 16:03

niss: Jul 9, 2008; the amazing gnome

Anyone that is around the NW Florida area and is interested in a BGE Demo Day Egg, here is your chance.

http://pensacolaeggfest.com/?page_id=83

This is being put on by the same place that I purchased my egg from. Brand new it was a really good deal, so I imagine that demo units will be priced pretty reasonable as well.

A friend and I are planning on cooking at the event, should be a good time.

# ? Jul 10, 2013 14:20

vulturesrow: Sep 25, 2011; _{Always gotta pay it forward.}

niss posted:

Anyone that is around the NW Florida area and is interested in a BGE Demo Day Egg, here is your chance.

http://pensacolaeggfest.com/?page_id=83

This is being put on by the same place that I purchased my egg from. Brand new it was a really good deal, so I imagine that demo units will be priced pretty reasonable as well.

A friend and I are planning on cooking at the event, should be a good time.

I assume you'll be the guy cooking with a neckbeard and fedora?

I may try to make it out though I don't think even a reasonably priced BGE is in the budget since the wife is still balking at buying a Weber Smokey Mountain.

# ? Jul 10, 2013 15:12

FlutterShock: May 17, 2013

I have seen a few DIY grills, etc in the past, with mixed results though.. what is usually the success to a good DIY Grill? The food often ends up either alittle charred, or not enough sometimes from my experience :S

FlutterShock fucked around with this message at 14:01 on Jul 12, 2013

# ? Jul 11, 2013 01:05

unknown: Nov 16, 2002; Ain't got no stinking title yet!

Jo3sh posted:

That's basically what I do. A lot of people think it's an odd cut to smoke (and it kind of is, because it's tender enough to use for grilling), but I think it's delicious. I put on a Santa Maria rub overnight and then smoke it.

Okay, last weekend I marinated the tri-tip in a homemade (oil, soya, red wine vinegar, spices, etc) and then smoked it for two hours to an IT of 135f - then followed by a few minutes on the grill to give it some flavour on the outside. And of course resting for 20 min.

Came out amazing. I think it's my new favourite cut of beef to do from now on. It tasted like a cross between tenderloin steak and brisket.

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# ? Jul 11, 2013 18:57

coronaball: Feb 6, 2005; You're finished, pork-o-nazi!

unknown posted:

I marinated the tri-tip

There are some parts of California where admitting this is akin to saying you boil your ribs or use lighter fluid on charcoal. I had a friend who refused to eat tri-tip that wasn't prepped with a Santa Maria rub and cooked over red oak. He was a little nuts though.

I preferred mine rubbed but I think there's plenty of good ways to marinade it too, such as the one that you described. Eating something prepared the same way every single time gets boring.

# ? Jul 11, 2013 21:00

Proust Malone: Apr 4, 2008

I bought a quarter cow recently. It's sitting in my freezer mooing at me. I smoked the tri-tip first, and although the smoker worked great, my rub was crap. Oh well, I've got plenty more where that came from.

I think I'm going to smoke the brisket next. Anyone want to throw a rub or marinade at me?

# ? Jul 12, 2013 02:07

qutius: Apr 2, 2003; NO PARTIES

Ron Jeremy posted:

I bought a quarter cow recently. It's sitting in my freezer mooing at me. I smoked the tri-tip first, and although the smoker worked great, my rub was crap. Oh well, I've got plenty more where that came from.

I think I'm going to smoke the brisket next. Anyone want to throw a rub or marinade at me?

I like this one from amazingribs.com:

3 tablespoon coarsely ground black pepper
2 tablespoons table salt
1 tablespoon granulated white sugar
1 tablespoon onion powder
2 teaspoons mustard powder
2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons chili or ancho powder
1 teaspoon chipotle or cayenne powder

That site in general has plenty of good info IMO.

# ? Jul 13, 2013 00:51

ada shatan: Oct 20, 2004; that'll do pig, that'll do

Ron Jeremy posted:

I bought a quarter cow recently. It's sitting in my freezer mooing at me. I smoked the tri-tip first, and although the smoker worked great, my rub was crap. Oh well, I've got plenty more where that came from.

I think I'm going to smoke the brisket next. Anyone want to throw a rub or marinade at me?

Best I've ever done is one part salt, one part pepper. It's a simple and delicious rub.

# ? Jul 13, 2013 01:25

unknown: Nov 16, 2002; Ain't got no stinking title yet!

coronaball posted:

There are some parts of California where admitting this is akin to saying you boil your ribs or use lighter fluid on charcoal. I had a friend who refused to eat tri-tip that wasn't prepped with a Santa Maria rub and cooked over red oak. He was a little nuts though.

I preferred mine rubbed but I think there's plenty of good ways to marinade it too, such as the one that you described. Eating something prepared the same way every single time gets boring.

Oh I won't do the same way next time. I was worried that it might be a tougher cut than it was (as this was the first time I've had it), and read a fair number of recipes that did some form of marinating. It'll be a proper rub next time with a proper hardwood.

Now I just need to find a consistent source of tri-tips. :-)

# ? Jul 13, 2013 02:53

Doom Rooster: Sep 3, 2008; Pillbug

Ron Jeremy posted:

I bought a quarter cow recently. It's sitting in my freezer mooing at me. I smoked the tri-tip first, and although the smoker worked great, my rub was crap. Oh well, I've got plenty more where that came from.

I think I'm going to smoke the brisket next. Anyone want to throw a rub or marinade at me?

Echoing the Salt and Pepper only. I used to do big rubs, with lots of different stuff in it, but it wasn't ever as good as I wanted it to be. One day, I saw a story on Franklin's, which is consistently ranked as some of the top brisket in the world (Best I have ever had personally, and I live in Austin). I started just using S&P, and it is sooooo much better.

# ? Jul 13, 2013 13:35

Dukket: Apr 28, 2007; So I says to her, I says “LADY, that ain't OIL, its DIRT!!”

Ron Jeremy posted:

I bought a quarter cow recently.

I think I'm going to smoke the brisket next. Anyone want to throw a rub or marinade at me?

My first brisket was just S & P and was fantastic. My 2nd was some sort of take on Montreal smoked brisket (I think in Canada it's just called smoked beef). It was also good.

# ? Jul 13, 2013 13:52

Proust Malone: Apr 4, 2008

unknown posted:

Now I just need to find a consistent source of tri-tips. :-)

http://www.freedommeatlockers.com/

Is where I bought my cow. They ship.

# ? Jul 13, 2013 20:51

unknown: Nov 16, 2002; Ain't got no stinking title yet!

Unfortunately I'm in Canada, so shipping food products across the border isn't happening.

But I haven't done an exhaustive search of the butchers in my area yet, so I've got hope.

# ? Jul 14, 2013 02:40

Saltin: Aug 20, 2003; Don't touch

15 hour into this 8lb shoulder with bone in. Will likely need another 3 as it just cleared the stall, which lasted forever.

BGE represent.

# ? Jul 14, 2013 16:19

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

Does anyone have a favorite upright rib rack?

Bonus complication: I don't have any outdoor space (NYC apartment), so I do it all in my oven with amazingribs.com's indoor recipe. Ideally I'm looking for something I could put in/over a rimmed cookie sheet.

# ? Jul 14, 2013 17:12

cornface: Dec 28, 2006; by Lowtax

Anne Whateley posted:

Does anyone have a favorite upright rib rack?

Bonus complication: I don't have any outdoor space (NYC apartment), so I do it all in my oven with amazingribs.com's indoor recipe. Ideally I'm looking for something I could put in/over a rimmed cookie sheet.

Have you tried just rolling them and holding them in place with wooden skewers? Not as fancy, but gets the job done.

# ? Jul 14, 2013 17:18

MixxMaster: Sep 15, 2005

Anne Whateley posted:

Does anyone have a favorite upright rib rack?

Bonus complication: I don't have any outdoor space (NYC apartment), so I do it all in my oven with amazingribs.com's indoor recipe. Ideally I'm looking for something I could put in/over a rimmed cookie sheet.

I have two of these. They are solid and work great. I did 10 racks in my WSM 18" for Independence Day.

http://www.amazon.com/Outset-Dual-Rib-Roasting-Rack/dp/B0037NZ7BY/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1373874271&sr=8-3&keywords=rib+rack

# ? Jul 15, 2013 08:45

DJCobol: May 16, 2003; CALL OF DUTY!; Grimey Drawer

Ventured out from the normal ribs/brisket/shoulder that I usually do and decided to smoke/cook a standing rib roast to make prime rib. Holy poo poo was this delicious. Rubbed the outside with worcestershire sauce and montreal steak seasoning, and let it cook for about 2.5 hours until it hit 125. Came out perfectly. Had that for dinner on Saturday, and got some grilled onion buns to make prime rib sammiches yesterday.

# ? Jul 15, 2013 13:58

GEEKABALL: May 30, 2011; Throw out your hands!!
Stick out your tush!!
Hands on your hips
Give them a push!!; Fun Shoe

DJCobol posted:

Ventured out from the normal ribs/brisket/shoulder that I usually do and decided to smoke/cook a standing rib roast to make prime rib. Holy poo poo was this delicious. Rubbed the outside with worcestershire sauce and montreal steak seasoning, and let it cook for about 2.5 hours until it hit 125. Came out perfectly. Had that for dinner on Saturday, and got some grilled onion buns to make prime rib sammiches yesterday.

That looks outstanding. What temp did you try to maintain in your smoker? How much did your roast weigh starting out?
Also imagine cutting bone thick portions and leaving the bone in :quagmire:

then finishing them by searing a bit over open flame or hot coals. Kind of a smoked "cowboy ribeye".

# ? Jul 15, 2013 18:54

DJCobol: May 16, 2003; CALL OF DUTY!; Grimey Drawer

GEEKABALL posted:

That looks outstanding. What temp did you try to maintain in your smoker? How much did your roast weigh starting out?
Also imagine cutting bone thick portions and leaving the bone in then finishing them by searing a bit over open flame or hot coals. Kind of a smoked "cowboy ribeye".

Thanks. I let the smoker get up to 325 before I put the roast in, but due to varible winds the temp kept fluctuation between 300 and 350. Pre-cooked weight was about 4 pounds.

I will definitely consider that next time if I can get a roast cut from the small end. The butcher was just about out so I had to take what I could get and the bones were pretty far apart. I have to say though that snacking on the bones after I cut them off and separated them was a nice treat.

# ? Jul 15, 2013 19:26

Saltin: Aug 20, 2003; Don't touch

GEEKABALL posted:

Also imagine cutting bone thick portions and leaving the bone in then finishing them by searing a bit over open flame or hot coals. Kind of a smoked "cowboy ribeye".

I like the way you think. I do this from time to time and it's loving amazing. I use 225 for the smoke, takes a bit longer but I like the results, then get the fire stoked to 800 and about 20 seconds a side.

# ? Jul 15, 2013 22:21

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

cornface posted:

Have you tried just rolling them and holding them in place with wooden skewers? Not as fancy, but gets the job done.

It's just a regular old oven, so with basically zero air circulation, I don't think this would get great results -- even if it's a looser roll, I think the insides still wouldn't brown and might not cook evenly.

MixxMaster posted:

I have two of these. They are solid and work great. I did 10 racks in my WSM 18" for Independence Day.

http://www.amazon.com/Outset-Dual-Rib-Roasting-Rack/dp/B0037NZ7BY/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1373874271&sr=8-3&keywords=rib+rack

Sold! Thanks.

# ? Jul 15, 2013 22:57

Thrasher: Apr 21, 2002

So.. Lets try Montreal Smoked Meat..

Full packer brisket.. lets age it open in the fridge for.. a week?

Need sodium nitrate for this rub

Ready for the fridge

After 14 days curing... Rinse, rub again, and put on the egg.

Done the smoking..

Steam a good chunk for 3 hours..

Slice it up..

Build our Reuben..

# ? Jul 17, 2013 00:15

Thrasher: Apr 21, 2002

Oh and why not.. lets do some pulled pork, full new york cut.. (butt + picnic)

Time to inject. with strained ZESTY ITALIAN SALAD DRESSING. (serious)

Our rub is fully applied.. time for the fridge

Smokin for 22 hours with our BBQ GURU to maintain the temp

End result.

# ? Jul 17, 2013 00:20

Proust Malone: Apr 4, 2008

Thrasher posted:

Build our Reuben..

I would do dirty dirty things to this sandwich... like put it in my mouth.

# ? Jul 17, 2013 00:21

Thrasher: Apr 21, 2002

Ron Jeremy posted:

I would do dirty dirty things to this sandwich... like put it in my mouth.

I only wish i made the Russian dressing from scratch. Thousand Islands is so much more dirty.. which you would probably enjoy.

# ? Jul 17, 2013 00:33

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

Thrasher posted:

So.. Lets try Montreal Smoked Meat..

Full packer brisket.. lets age it open in the fridge for.. a week?

Need sodium nitrate for this rub

Ready for the fridge

After 14 days curing... Rinse, rub again, and put on the egg.

Done the smoking..

Steam a good chunk for 3 hours..

Slice it up..

Build our Reuben..

This looks really really good - but I thought you were supposed to boil/steam the beef before smoking it? have I been doing this backwards? I guess either way it would taste really good...

# ? Jul 17, 2013 09:39

Thrasher: Apr 21, 2002

mindphlux posted:

This looks really really good - but I thought you were supposed to boil/steam the beef before smoking it? have I been doing this backwards? I guess either way it would taste really good...

The proper way is to smoke first.. then steam to finish.

All the deli's in Montreal will keep their prepped brisket in a steamer bin, ready to slice... The smoking process is done before hand.

# ? Jul 18, 2013 01:03

coronaball: Feb 6, 2005; You're finished, pork-o-nazi!

Smoking turkey legs for the first time. Do you guys use any kind of mop or spritz on these, or do I just throw em on and let em go?

# ? Jul 22, 2013 00:26

DJCobol: May 16, 2003; CALL OF DUTY!; Grimey Drawer

coronaball posted:

Smoking turkey legs for the first time. Do you guys use any kind of mop or spritz on these, or do I just throw em on and let em go?

For turkey I'd brine and then smoke. No need for a baste or mop.

# ? Jul 22, 2013 22:13

jonathan: Jul 3, 2005; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Using the 3:2:1 method for pork side ribs, if you wanted to shorten the total cook time, where could you shorten it with the least detriment to the final product? Could I cut the 3 hours down to 1 hour?

Also, Kingsford "Matchlight". Does this poo poo have lighter fluid in it or something ? I purchased it without really looking. If it has starter chemicals, I guess the Minion method is a no go... As fresh coals light up it would gently caress up the meat's flavour. Right ?

# ? Jul 23, 2013 23:06

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Yes, Matchlight has lighter fluid in it. Don't use it for anything.

# ? Jul 23, 2013 23:09

coronaball: Feb 6, 2005; You're finished, pork-o-nazi!

DJCobol posted:

For turkey I'd brine and then smoke. No need for a baste or mop.

I ended up mopping twice with a mixture of vinegar and BBQ sauce. I don't know if it did anything.

It came out looking better than it ate, I thought. Too many bones inside and a little too smokey.

jonathan posted:

Using the 3:2:1 method for pork side ribs, if you wanted to shorten the total cook time, where could you shorten it with the least detriment to the final product? Could I cut the 3 hours down to 1 hour?

Also, Kingsford "Matchlight". Does this poo poo have lighter fluid in it or something ? I purchased it without really looking. If it has starter chemicals, I guess the Minion method is a no go... As fresh coals light up it would gently caress up the meat's flavour. Right ?

You can increase the time in the foil vs. the time unfoiled, and if you cook them at 275 you might get them done in 4 hours. I don't recommend this as I like to cook at lower temp, but it's possible. Or simply buy some baby backs instead, they take less time to cook.

Save the match-light for some time when you're doing hot dogs or something, otherwise try and take it back if you still have your receipt.

coronaball fucked around with this message at 23:38 on Jul 23, 2013

# ? Jul 23, 2013 23:32

OBAMNA PHONE: Aug 7, 2002

Smoking poultry does require restraint when it comes to how much smoking wood you add to your charcoal.

How long did the turkey leg take to cook?

# ? Jul 24, 2013 03:15

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# ? May 15, 2024 22:59

coronaball: Feb 6, 2005; You're finished, pork-o-nazi!

BraveUlysses posted:

Smoking poultry does require restraint when it comes to how much smoking wood you add to your charcoal.

How long did the turkey leg take to cook?

Only about 3 hours but it was at about 250/275 the whole time. I was terribly hungover and put too much charcoal in and it was hot and windy and I was surprised I ended up with an edible product at all, really.

# ? Jul 24, 2013 05:36

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