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After 1 year you realize no one really gives a drat about an analyst. Just don't say anything stupid and I'm sure no one in compliance will care (they tend to be pretty inept). I don't reveal my bank just for privacy, don't want no SA troll stalking me (kidding~)
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Jul 9, 2013 14:11
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Swingline posted:This happens all the time. Instead of saying the name of the company you just say "Ran the auction process for a middle market professional services company with roughly $50 million in EBITDA and $400m in sales" etc etc. [Ran | Intern] = Fucktard who lies on his CV. Be the J4$ guy.... You didn't run, you didn't even crawl. You assisted to design a slide of 2 and lookup publicly available information under supervision of an analyst / associate who was working for a VP / ED or MD who was running an auction process. You would have been given the template from the IB to use and told this goes here that goes there. so you ssay no templates? Well if the IB had no templates then they are crap and your internship doesn't mean squat.
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Jul 14, 2013 07:57
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The Gnome posted:So I'm a few weeks into my boutique IB internship, and they're already having me help with pitch books, research, grabbing info for valuation model, etc. This is all for a potential deal - but how can I shed light on this experience if the deal doesn't go through? I still "worked on" the major aspects of a deal, I'm guessing.. You have exposure to a c[deal size rounded to the nearest $50m], [sell-side / buy-side], [public markets / private company], [acquisition / spinoff / cap raising / other deal] in the [XXX sector] where I assisted the deal team by: 1. what you did - pitch book 2. what you did - research 3. what you did - putting numbers in someone else's financial model [This is a factual representation of what you did in a deal - in all it is impressive and the fact it is granular and factual means it is less likely to be inflated BS]. You did not work on: 1. Relationship formation with the client 2. Design and negotiation of the engagement letter 3. Deal strategy and tactics 4. Design of distribution / counterparty selection / target selection 5. Analysing market reaction 6. Appointment and coordination of co-advisors 7. Putting poo poo into a spreadsheet is not doing valuation - you did not select the value drivers. In other words you did not work on the "major aspects" of the deal. Do not fking lie! - I can smell BS from interns all the time ..... If your CV is OK and you write this anyway (and >15 people have tried this on me anyway) I will give you an interview and invite you to talk about your experience. If you embellish then I will spend sufficient time questioning and probing until you recant and acknowledge the fact that you did not do what you claimed to say you did. The most important thing for an intern to know is how to use the data services (Bloomberg, CapIQ etc) and how to take stuff off the internet like annual reports and announcements and how IB processes work. If you can show you have done that within the context of breathing the same air as someone who worked on a deal I for one would be a very happy interviewer...... Apologies to the slap in the back of the head but you need to be very tone wary of what you write and humble to the fact you know less than an analyst who knows precisely nothing. Hypation fucked around with this message at 08:28 on Jul 14, 2013 |
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Jul 14, 2013 08:14
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Can anyone give me a recommendation for a carry-on size suitcase for the aspiring financier? Something professional and appropriate but not something that looks like I bought it at Best Buy. Also something that's part of a set might be good in case I need to scale up down the line, I think I get to go to Tokyo and maybe Sydney in 2014 
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Jul 15, 2013 16:16
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Thoogsby posted:Can anyone give me a recommendation for a carry-on size suitcase for the aspiring financier? Something professional and appropriate but not something that looks like I bought it at Best Buy. Also something that's part of a set might be good in case I need to scale up down the line, I think I get to go to Tokyo and maybe Sydney in 2014 Just get the smallest Samsonite case with wheels. Since it is carry on it can be black or beige - it does not need to stand out on the luggage wheel.
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Jul 16, 2013 03:51
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This is the tits http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/victori...geCategoryId=PP
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Jul 16, 2013 06:02
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fougera posted:This is the tits Hmmm, does look good.... The one thing is: You need to balance the hipster and utility factors. Imagine how it would look after you kicked it down the fire escape? Also you want it to have wheels. Trust me on that. Hypation fucked around with this message at 03:57 on Jul 17, 2013 |
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Jul 16, 2013 06:07
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I dont know what's more surprising: the fact that I got a third year offer, or that I'm actually considering it
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Jul 18, 2013 11:01
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What are your alternatives?
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Jul 19, 2013 00:25
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Hypation posted:Hmmm, does look good.... You also want to avoid getting anything in black. Because that is what EVERYONE else has. If you ever have to check your bag and find it on a crowded carousel or worse go rummaging through an airline list luggage room you will be glad you did!
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Jul 19, 2013 18:14
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Words bankers love in their pitch books (and make me want to kill someone): Snapshot Landscape Select Overview Update Add and discuss
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Jul 28, 2013 21:20
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fougera posted:Words bankers love in their pitch books (and make me want to kill someone):
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Jul 29, 2013 10:59
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Hypation posted:
OH my god strategic rationale, how could I forget?
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Jul 29, 2013 20:05
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fougera posted:OH my god strategic rationale, how could I forget? You have repressed the memories.
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Jul 30, 2013 06:27
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Been going through REIT Q's and earnings calls and if I read the phrase 'robust pipeline' one more time, someone is getting a robust line of pipe to the face.
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Jul 31, 2013 00:41
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http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324170004578638093802889384.html?mod=WSJ_hp_LEFTWhatsNewsCollection Step 1) Give someone a mortgage they can't afford Step 2) Securitize that mortgage Step 3) Foreclose on them Step 4) Sell their house to Blackstone Step 5) Rent the house back to them Step 6) Securitize the rent Step 7) ??? Step 8) Profit!
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Jul 31, 2013 02:15
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Step 7 isn't even necessary, unless you suck at securitization
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Jul 31, 2013 02:45
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zmcnulty posted:Steps 1-7 aren't even necessary, unless you suck FTFY, banker approved
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Jul 31, 2013 03:38
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Swingline posted:http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324170004578638093802889384.html?mod=WSJ_hp_LEFTWhatsNewsCollection Looks like Blackstone is a little bearish on the rental market???
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Jul 31, 2013 05:39
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Swingline posted:http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324170004578638093802889384.html?mod=WSJ_hp_LEFTWhatsNewsCollection There is your mystical Step 7.
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Jul 31, 2013 07:27
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This issuance seems tiny compared to their total single family holdings. I wonder if they are just testing the waters.
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Jul 31, 2013 12:53
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The sight of your bank account post-bonus hit makes this almost worth it
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Jul 31, 2013 14:11
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fougera posted:The sight of your bank account post-bonus hit makes this almost worth it People who get in it for the money don't last. You actually really have to want it for something else.
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Aug 2, 2013 04:40
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Hypation posted:People who get in it for the money don't last. Yeah but the bonus euphoria is enough to last for a least a couple of years.
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Aug 2, 2013 15:21
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Adding to the list of pet peeves: I can't stand it how people use "space" to describe loving everything. The capital markets "space", the energy "space". Just say division or industry or whatever it is you're referring to because you sound like a loving dickhead with a lovely vocabulary.
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Aug 2, 2013 18:18
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Dreaming Android posted:Yeah but the bonus euphoria is enough to last for a least a couple of years. But keep in mind that a year in IB equals about three normal people years. ;-)
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Aug 3, 2013 05:21
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Oliax posted:But keep in mind that a year in IB equals about three normal people years. ;-) On an hourly rates basis you'd be better fixing peoples' toilets. Or driving a truck. It's funny - in Australia the largest sector of the economy is mining. The thing that really annoys Associate Directors (7 to 10 years in to IB land) of investment banks in Australia is that they are typically paid less than people who drive mining trucks.
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Aug 3, 2013 12:26
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I've got an interview next week for an Operations Associate position at a small firm. The job description is kind of vague, but it's an entry-level position. Any idea of what stuff I'll be expected to know and should be able to do?
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Aug 4, 2013 01:21
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Ron Don Volante posted:I've got an interview next week for an Operations Associate position at a small firm. The job description is kind of vague, but it's an entry-level position. Any idea of what stuff I'll be expected to know and should be able to do? What division - broking / insto trading???? Essentially the ops guys are in the back and middle office of the bank. They are responsible for ensuring that execution of OTC activites occur, that the accounts are reconciled, that cash flows in and out of the relevant accounts, margins are paid, risk limits are met. If it is entry level then knowledge of processes will be out. You will be expected to know the products (if they are retail) that the desk is trading and you will be expected to at least conceptually know the products if they are insto or wholesale. You will be expected to know key issues related to probity and conflicts of interest. You will be expected to be numerate with a high degree of attention to detail - as this job is mostly about shuffling paperwork within a rule based system. Good ops associates could move off into risk - because they will be the ones who can spot the disasters / problems with trades / accounts / brokers before they occur. At an entry level position you will be expected to learn a process really, really fast. Basic exposure with commercial grade trading platforms is a strong but not expected plus; familiarity with excel and word will be expected....
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Aug 4, 2013 02:02
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Ecosystem. 
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Aug 6, 2013 16:14
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As a general question, could you bankers talk about the different titles that your organization uses? I understand generally it's: - Analyst (right out of college, 2-3 years) - Associate (out of b-schoo/grad school, or immediately after 3 years of analyst, 2-3 years) - VP (after associate, 3-6 years. maybe other names?) - MD (after VP) Is that about right? What are the nuances - e.g., some places seem to have Assistant VPs instead of Associates; some places have Senior Associates, or Senior VPs, or Directors (rather than MDs).
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Aug 8, 2013 07:00
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Ani posted:As a general question, could you bankers talk about the different titles that your organization uses? I understand generally it's: Analyst 0 to 3 years Associate 3 to 6 years (or out of B-School - US.... No M&A experience we hire you as a Analyst regardless of what else you have) Vice President - European 4 to 9 years OR Associate Director - US 4 to 9 years Executive Director - European 8 to 20 years OR Director - US 8 to 20 years Managing Director - 15+ years. Then there are executive management positions: Vice President US - 15+ years Equivalent to a MD President US - 20+ years Senior Vice President 30+ years Typically retired / working part time and is around for the name / relationships. CEO - 20 + years ---- There are lots of permutations on this though.... Normally the Analyst to MD path is pretty common though. Senior Associates may be part of the broking team - typically this rates as a Vice president or rear end. Director. It is more of a law firm title. Vice President see above - can be a description of someone running a large department within a division. Sometimes a SVP or Senior Advisor is used to describe someone retired.
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Aug 8, 2013 07:43
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Ani posted:As a general question, could you bankers talk about the different titles that your organization uses? I understand generally it's: There's a fairly detailed treatment here: https://www.google.com/search?q=vault+career+guide+investment+banking+pdf
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Aug 8, 2013 17:25
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Hypation posted:detailed response I'm asking because I'm a transactional lawyer who works a lot with investment bankers and I'm curious what all their precise titles mean with regards to seniority, and if they vary at different banks or in different regions. mandalay posted:There's a fairly detailed treatment here:
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Aug 9, 2013 00:10
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Yesterday a first year started bawling when she found out she didn't get the group she wanted. Today the intern sent his farewell email to the entire loving bank. What is with kids
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Aug 9, 2013 14:05
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fougera posted:Today the intern sent his farewell email to the entire loving bank. This is great
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Aug 9, 2013 14:34
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fougera posted:Today the intern sent his farewell email to the entire loving bank. What is with kids Your bank gives interns access to the "to-all" mailing list!? Holy sh*t, talk about data retention nightmare!
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Aug 10, 2013 05:59
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fougera posted:Yesterday a first year started bawling when she found out she didn't get the group she wanted. Today the intern sent his farewell email to the entire loving bank. What is with kids How many people that the intern never met or interacted with in any way replied? Those numbers are even more fun.
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Aug 10, 2013 06:16
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Ani posted:As a general question, could you bankers talk about the different titles that your organization uses? I understand generally it's: In the US: Analyst - bachelor's degree, usually right out of college but some people lateral from accounting or other related fields. 2 year stint, can be extended to a third year. Associate - usually right out of MBA but also a very tiny percentage of analysts get directly promoted. 3-4 years. VP - Associate promotes only. 6-8 years usually from VP to MD if you make it at all (vast majority don't). (Director, Associate Director, Senior VP, etc) - Some banks have this interim level between VP and MD after 3-4 years of being a VP. MD - You can get promoted to co-head, head, global head of a subsector, group, or whole division.
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Aug 10, 2013 06:59
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Does anyone here have any experience of IB in the UK? Most of the info on the internet is US-centric, and I've heard that there are differences in the working cultures (for example, shorter hours in the UK). Is this true?
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Aug 10, 2013 15:43
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