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bhlaab posted:Okay so what's the ending for Breaking the Girls? Just say it.
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Jul 30, 2013 16:08
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I'm the writer/director of the SA movie of the week this week, Nor'easter. There's a thread about it going on in CD: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3560737 But I'll also discuss it here if people have a chance to check it out and want to ask questions. It's available now on iTunes, Amazon, VUDU, cable On Demand, and other platforms. Here's the review: http://www.somethingawful.com/current-movie-reviews/wolverine-ripd/5/
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Aug 1, 2013 20:08
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100YrsofAttitude posted:I was wondering how A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III was advertised in the States? It's coming out in about a week (if it hasn't already) in France and they're playing up the Bill Murray/Jason Schwartzman angle pretty hard and pretty much trying to advertise it as a pseudo Wes Anderson film (whose a favorite around here). It wasn't really advertised in the US at all. They ran one trailer for it at my local indie theater, and the tone was essentially "Everyone hates Charlie Sheen", which is pretty much the film in a nutshell.
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Aug 2, 2013 21:37
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Jay Dub posted:It wasn't really advertised in the US at all. They ran one trailer for it at my local indie theater, and the tone was essentially "Everyone hates Charlie Sheen", which is pretty much the film in a nutshell. I figured the scheme would involved Charlie Sheen a bit more stateside. I don't think anyone actually knows who he is here.
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Aug 2, 2013 23:35
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Yeah, I don't imagine his sitcom meltdown got much traction outside the US, and his post-Two and a Half Men persona is what the entire film is built around. Overseas it probably looks like an even weirder cultural artifact than it does here.
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Aug 3, 2013 06:35
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Am I the only one who sees Denzel Washington in 2 Guns doing Bill Cosby in I Spy? At least judging from the screen shots.
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Aug 5, 2013 15:59
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Buffalo squeeze posted:Am I the only one who sees Denzel Washington in 2 Guns doing Bill Cosby in I Spy? At least judging from the screen shots. I would not be at all surprised to learn Denzel used that as inspiration.
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Aug 7, 2013 19:49
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So, watched Prometheus a couple nights ago (in a theater- lucky me! No 3D, though), and remembered that Cinema Discusso had a ginormous thread devoted to it, I decided to wade through. I was very surprised to find out that major plot points for that movie had been spoiled months in advance in the trailer. This is mainly because Professor Clumsy's review was uncharacteristically spoiler-free and explained almost no literal facts about the movie except who the characters were. I have to agree with the general thread consensus of "good, not great and easy to nitpick" but I did appreciate the vagueness of the original recommendation. Most of the fun in that movie was in the build-up, which was effective mainly because I had no idea what was going to happen next. Anyway, since no has mentioned the Smurfs review yet, I have a couple of questions. At the end of the first movie Gargamel has become a real world celebrity because he's a wizard. So, in the second movie, why does he care about the Smurfs at all? I know Jay Dub was being facetious with the whole "create an infinite energy source" thing, but seriously, why does any of this matter to Gargamel anymore unless he wants to do something that's impossible with all the technology he now has access to? I was also surprised to find out that the movie apparently pays close attention to Smurfs canon, by referencing the actual Smurfette origin story. Was that even in the show? And who cares? Outside of Smurfs purists (do these even exist?), no one bothered to ask why there was only one female smurf because it's an entire genre convention that there's exactly one girly character and everyone else is a guy.
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Aug 8, 2013 01:16
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It was a plot point in the first Smurfs movie that Gargamel needs smurfparts to do his magic that was making him a celebrity. Having not seen the second film, I can easily imagine that his motivation is to get more smurfparts to fuel his magic. Having read the review, I could easily imagine that they missed this obvious motivation.
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Aug 8, 2013 02:32
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Yeah, that's pretty much it. He wants the formula for turning golems into smurfs so he can create all the golems he wants and steal their life essence to fuel his own magic, thereby allowing him to "rule the world". The movie clearly articulates that Gargamel expends his supply of smurf energy whenever he uses his magic, it just completely fails to act on this as the driving threat of the film. The Smurfs don't really even realize what he's up to until they discover his Smurf-draining contraption at the end of the film, but Brendan Gleeson almost immediately saves the day by breaking it with a stick. The movie does actually hit all the beats, but only out of obligation, not because it actually cares about its story.
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Aug 8, 2013 06:11
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If you don't follow this Twitter, you're wrong.
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Aug 8, 2013 06:11
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I marathon-ed a bunch of movies yesterday that I hadn't seen yet, but read your reviews for: Elysium was definitely a step down from District 9, but Sharlto Copley made it enjoyable for me. Everything about him was hilarious: his costumes, his accent, his Disney-villian levels of evil ("I was going to heal your daughter, but now I'll make sure she'll never be healed!") The review for RIPD is spot on. This movie is so mediocre that I can barely remember the time I spent watching it. Pacific Rim was actually a little disappointing for me. I went in hoping that it would be exactly what it is, a big dumb movie with fantastic special effects, but somehow it just wasn't enough. I dunno, maybe I was hoping that Charlie Day would entertain me because I love Always Sunny, but no. I also saw Fruitvale Station, which was really good!
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Aug 13, 2013 00:11
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Number 36 posted:
Fruitvale Station is really drat good, but every time I try to write about it, I wind up getting just as angry as I was when the real-life event happened four years ago. Which I suppose means it works.
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Aug 13, 2013 00:22
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It's interesting that The AV Club gave Fruitvale Station a B- with a review that basically amounts to "so what?" It's a critic I usually respect tackling a film that has gotten nothing but good reviews. Different strokes, I guess.
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Aug 13, 2013 02:10
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Professor Clumsy, could you please review your next films without going into some diatribe about Disney films polluting our future children's precious brains with evil neo-con values? You do a lot and it's really loving old. How about a review of a movie that talks about it not succeeding because it's boring or lazy, not because it has a hetero-normative, patriarchal subtext? Bringing up the socio-political ramifications of a Pixar movie doesn't make you look more impressive, or heroic, or intelligent. It looks like you're picking the low-hanging fruit so you can make up for not critiquing the movie's aesthetic and narrative faults in more detail. I'd like to focus on the movie you're reviewing, but I can't do it with the sparks flying off the axe you're grinding in front of it. Zibraltar fucked around with this message at 18:52 on Aug 18, 2013 |
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Aug 18, 2013 18:45
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Zibraltar posted:Professor Clumsy, could you please review your next films without going into some diatribe about Disney films polluting our future children's precious brains with evil neo-con values? You do a lot and it's really loving old. How about a review of a movie that talks about it not succeeding because it's boring or lazy, not because it has a hetero-normative, patriarchal subtext? Bringing up the socio-political ramifications of a Pixar movie doesn't make you look more impressive, or heroic, or intelligent. It looks like you're picking the low-hanging fruit so you can make up for not critiquing the movie's aesthetic and narrative faults in more detail. No. Read a different critic.
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Aug 18, 2013 18:57
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If that critic will tell me things about a movie that deal with movies, instead of writing an angry tumblr, gladly.
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Aug 18, 2013 19:09
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Zibraltar posted:If that critic will tell me things about a movie that deal with movies, instead of writing an angry tumblr, gladly. I'm very sorry for what I have done to you.
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Aug 18, 2013 19:22
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Zibraltar posted:Professor Clumsy, could you please review your next films without going into some diatribe about Disney films polluting our future children's precious brains with evil neo-con values? You do a lot and it's really loving old. How about a review of a movie that talks about it not succeeding because it's boring or lazy, not because it has a hetero-normative, patriarchal subtext? Bringing up the socio-political ramifications of a Pixar movie doesn't make you look more impressive, or heroic, or intelligent. It looks like you're picking the low-hanging fruit so you can make up for not critiquing the movie's aesthetic and narrative faults in more detail. All films, all art, has a socio-political context. Films do not exist in a vacuum, they are influenced by the experiences and attitudes of the creators and the viewers. If anything, we need to be analyzing the attitudes that are expressed in children's media even more than most, because kids are impressionable, whether we want to admit it or not. why should something get a free pass because it's aimed at children? If the critic you read isn't pointing these things out when they see them, they're not doing their goddamn job.
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Aug 18, 2013 19:29
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Zibraltar posted:Professor Clumsy, could you please review your next films without going into some diatribe about Disney films polluting our future children's precious brains with evil neo-con values? You do a lot and it's really loving old. How about a review of a movie that talks about it not succeeding because it's boring or lazy, not because it has a hetero-normative, patriarchal subtext? Bringing up the socio-political ramifications of a Pixar movie doesn't make you look more impressive, or heroic, or intelligent. It looks like you're picking the low-hanging fruit so you can make up for not critiquing the movie's aesthetic and narrative faults in more detail. The point of art is communication and expression of ideas. He wouldn't be doing his job as a critic if he didn't address a film's messages. He wrote a perfectly sound review and if that troubles you you should go back to browsing rotten tomatoes for your cheap and easy "just talk about the colors" depth of criticism. Also, pick up a book and learn something, it can only improve your life.
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Aug 18, 2013 19:51
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Critics are not heroes. I don't read or listen to a review because I'm hoping it will reveal the seedy, manipulative cunning that filmmakers use to exploit youngsters. That's a footnote, if anything. What matters is whether the film is compelling or not. A film that takes advantage of people can still be compelling in other ways. And if the manipulation begs to be explored, this can be done without the polemics that demand people stand up and notice the movie reviewer saving us from ourselves. There are ways of doing these things that don't involve talking down to the reader.
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Aug 18, 2013 19:52
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Planes by Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison Planes is a very colourful film. The colours are bright and varied and often move across the screen in ways that will please infants. Colours are fun and so is movement. It's like when you shake your car keys at a baby and they just want to reach out and grab them, that was me watching Planes. "Want!" I said, as I reached out to the screen, only to be shushed by my dad. This is the first time he has spoken to me in two days, which might as well be forever because I am only 2 years old. 50/50
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Aug 18, 2013 19:55
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Thanks for demonstrating that you write very intelligently for a 2 year old.
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Aug 18, 2013 19:57
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Zibraltar posted:Thanks for demonstrating that you write very intelligently for a 2 year old. Thanks, dad.
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Aug 18, 2013 19:58
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Professor Clumsy posted:Planes You are a treasure. Zibraltar posted:Thanks for demonstrating that you write very intelligently for a 2 year old. Come on, man, do you really have nothing better to do with your time?
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Aug 18, 2013 20:11
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I clearly do not read books very often, as you pointed out, so my credibility when asking "could you review movies in x fashion less because y", is seriously hindered. I am aware of this. I am earnestly trying not to express myself about how I feel when I read Arthur Danto's review of a movie for babies. I guess I should read more books and let others do the writing for me, rather than weigh in on something that's annoyed me with the tone and content of several reviews I have read. Certainly I will be more prudent and cautious in the future.
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Aug 18, 2013 20:47
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Zibraltar posted:I clearly do not read books very often, as you pointed out, so my credibility when asking "could you review movies in x fashion less because y", is seriously hindered. I am aware of this. I am earnestly trying not to express myself about how I feel when I read Arthur Danto's review of a movie for babies. I guess I should read more books and let others do the writing for me, rather than weigh in on something that's annoyed me with the tone and content of several reviews I have read. This, only in perfect seriousness.
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Aug 18, 2013 21:23
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Oh, I'm perfectly serious. I can't imagine how anyone could expect to complain about a series of articles they read. Heaven forbid those who criticize things be themselves criticized for the manner in which they do it. This is clearly an abuse of America's Freedom.
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Aug 18, 2013 21:41
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Do you honestly not feel that the most important aspect of a film is the message that it communicates? Especially films aimed at very young children? You say you want me to talk about what makes a film compelling or not, well guess what I find compelling.
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Aug 18, 2013 22:03
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Zibraltar posted:Oh, I'm perfectly serious. I can't imagine how anyone could expect to complain about a series of articles they read. Heaven forbid those who criticize things be themselves criticized for the manner in which they do it. This is clearly an abuse of America's Freedom. Nobody's telling you you're not allowed to criticize a critic, don't be a dolt. I am attempting to elucidate the fact that you are missing the point. I am here criticizing the criticisms of someone criticizing a critic, obviously I'm not opposed to discussion. I'm not telling you you can't, I'm telling you to think it through first. Enjoy going through life seeing the context in which a work of art is created as irrelevant, I guess.
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Aug 18, 2013 22:07
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I think a lot of responses through, at least beyond "No. Read another critic."
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Aug 18, 2013 22:36
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I have a site to recommend to you. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/ It gives a basic number to evaluate a movie's worth. Maybe that will be more in line with basic surface level evaluations you want from reviews. Fat Lou fucked around with this message at 22:56 on Aug 18, 2013 |
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Aug 18, 2013 22:52
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Zibraltar posted:I think a lot of responses through, at least beyond "No. Read another critic." You asked me to change every single thing about my writing to appease you. What did you expect me to say?
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Aug 18, 2013 22:58
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Can I just say that I didn't expect to agree with Clumsy's Despicable Me review as much as I did. I often don't agree with Clumsy and thought he was probably reading too much into small details in the movie but no, everything he wrote about Despicable Me 2 was spot on. It's not just how regressive it is, it's that it does so in such a lazy fashion. I think there's nothing wrong showing a little girl pining for a mother but the movie literally gives the characters no reason to do so. Like they get to the point where they need to explain why this is so important and they just throw their hands up in the air and go "I dunno? Mothers are important and everyone knows that so shut up". It's weird because they sped so much time also showing Gru as being a great single Dad. It's just a plot point because it needs to be and they just don't actually care enough to develop it. All the plot points in the movie are like this. I guess what I'm saying is while I often don't agree with Clumsy (Die Hard 5 is my worst of the year so far) keep doing what you're doing because you're still pretty good at it.
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Aug 18, 2013 23:10
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axleblaze posted:Can I just say that I didn't expect to agree with Clumsy's Despicable Me review as much as I did. I often don't agree with Clumsy and thought he was probably reading too much into small details in the movie but no, everything he wrote about Despicable Me 2 was spot on. It's not just how regressive it is, it's that it does so in such a lazy fashion. I think there's nothing wrong showing a little girl pining for a mother but the movie literally gives the characters no reason to do so. Like they get to the point where they need to explain why this is so important and they just throw their hands up in the air and go "I dunno? Mothers are important and everyone knows that so shut up". It's weird because they sped so much time also showing Gru as being a great single Dad. It's just a plot point because it needs to be and they just don't actually care enough to develop it. All the plot points in the movie are like this. Not to mention that they never even show Lucy interacting with the girls. There's literally no reason for these girls to want Lucy to be their mom, but she's pretty and she's there, so that means she MUST be a good mother, right? Because all pretty women are good mothers, right?
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Aug 18, 2013 23:53
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Three of the new reviews are on one page. http://www.somethingawful.com/current-movie-reviews/butler-jobs-conspiracy/5/
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Aug 18, 2013 23:59
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effectual posted:Three of the new reviews are on one page. Thanks for pointing this out.
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Aug 19, 2013 00:11
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effectual posted:Three of the new reviews are on one page. The Butler Jobs Conspiracy sounds intriguing.
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Aug 19, 2013 00:21
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Professor Clumsy posted:You asked me to change every single thing about my writing to appease you. What did you expect me to say? Maybe some explanation of why you think soapboxing about the broader social injustice done by a lovely movie is so crucial? Is it to make yourself feel important? Head and shoulders above lesser critics? Why is it so vital that you show how much you care about this garbage?
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Aug 19, 2013 00:38
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Zibraltar posted:Maybe some explanation of why you think soapboxing about the broader social injustice done by a lovely movie is so crucial? Is it to make yourself feel important? Head and shoulders above lesser critics? Why is it so vital that you show how much you care about this garbage? Because I am required to write 1000 words about Planes.
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Aug 19, 2013 00:48
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