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As stated earlier, Fiber One bars are perfect ammunition. Eat more than one a day and you'll be ripping rear end every six minuets.
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 18:30 |
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It's not about how much you fart. It's about how gross you can be with it. If she farts in the room, just press your hams against her and fart RIGHT ON HER.
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You definitely came to the right place for help.
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To be honest there's no way you can win because girl farts always beat guy farts. Congratulations on your victory, feminists.
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Alternatively: Give her the ole Dutch Oven.
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Finally we are good at something
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If you have a drill, you can drill a small hole in the door to the bathroom. Once she goes in there to do something, press your cheeks against the hole and fart, trapping her in a room rapidly filling with your rear end gas.
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Someone lights a cigarette in methane fart hotbox, goons die
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UnnaturalSELECTION posted:Someone lights a cigarette in methane fart hotbox, goons die Front page of the New York Times the next day would read "Goons perish in literal rear end blast" above this picture: ![]()
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Maybe it's not the quality of the gas but the fart as a whole. Can you do ballet? Do that spinny thing on one toe except your rear end blast is propelling you faster and faster around in a circle creating a Fartnado.
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Mix Fiber One Fart Bars, apple juice, and sugar free hard candies. Eat 2-3 eggs for aroma. Congrats on becoming a biological weapon.
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I just pulled a clog out of my shower drain that was green, blue, white-spotted, lumpy, and was made of hair as long as my arm. I've been living in this apartment for 2.5 years and my hair has never been longer than 1cm, so this thing has been here for like 3 years. I never want to touch food or my body with my hands again.
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Just drink a lot of applejuice.
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:I've been living with my housemate for several years now and things have been pretty chill but recently she's decided that she's okay with farting when I'm in the room. I could ignore it or talk to her like an adult but instead I've decided that an anal arms race is clearly the correct response and I'll discourage her from farting in my presence with overpowering return fire. What should I be eating to make my farts especially rank? Keep in mind that she's a vegetarian so she's already ahead in the game. tehloki posted:I just pulled a clog out of my shower drain that was green, blue, white-spotted, lumpy, and was made of hair as long as my arm. I've been living in this apartment for 2.5 years and my hair has never been longer than 1cm, so this thing has been here for like 3 years. I never want to touch food or my body with my hands again. Eat this.
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tehloki posted:I just pulled a clog out of my shower drain that was green, blue, white-spotted, lumpy, and was made of hair as long as my arm. I've been living in this apartment for 2.5 years and my hair has never been longer than 1cm, so this thing has been here for like 3 years. I never want to touch food or my body with my hands again. I have 3 sisters, my dad was pulling something like that out of the drain about twice a month.
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Mix Fiber One Fart Bars, apple juice, and sugar free hard candies. Hard-boiled eggs. Make sure they're hard-boiled. Come Easter-time, my egg farts are room clearing as all hell. In all seriousness, why do businesses and companies buy the most uncomfortable and the hardest plastic chairs to sit in for large conferences, meetings, orientations, and other things? I just got back from an 8 hour orientation and my spine feels like Jello while my rear end feels like I've got nothing left but bone and pain to sit on. Would it kill them to buy some chairs with at least a little bit of padding or cushion on them?
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I hate the term shitlord
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UnnaturalSELECTION posted:I hate the term shitlord I don't mind that one too badly but 'shitstick' and 'fuckstick' have a special place of hate in my black black heart.
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We've at least moved well beyond the old favorite, "Cuntpope."
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Dunderhead
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Fucktard. Anal Queen. Bitch Idiot.
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:I've been living with my housemate for several years now and things have been pretty chill but recently she's decided that she's okay with farting when I'm in the room. I could ignore it or talk to her like an adult but instead I've decided that an anal arms race is clearly the correct response and I'll discourage her from farting in my presence with overpowering return fire. What should I be eating to make my farts especially rank? Keep in mind that she's a vegetarian so she's already ahead in the game. Whey protein.
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Cabbage.
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Crow Jane posted:Cabbage. This is a pro answer except as aforementioned it's gonna be a relatively low-stink fart and some corned beef would really help with this rear end-offense.
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Turbo Nerd.
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Eat a knuckle sandwich
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I'll knock you off your block.
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You're all cruisin' for a bruisin'.
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Sit on it.
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Sounds like someone needs a hurts donut.
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Petty Bishopric
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Up your nose with a rubber hose!
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Vaffanculo!
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Listen up BUTTHEAD because I'm only gonna say this once, you jerk. Go gently caress yourself, blockhead!
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Why doncha take a long walk off a short pier, asshat?
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And why don't you go piss up a flagpole?
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Crow Jane posted:And why don't you go piss up a flagpole? You read my mind, I was thinking go piss up a rope, must be our proximity to Baltimore
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Shitwizards.
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Dingleberry
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 18:30 |
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Thread closed to 'tude outbreak
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