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As stated earlier, Fiber One bars are perfect ammunition. Eat more than one a day and you'll be ripping rear end every six minuets.
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Aug 6, 2013 20:55
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| # ? Jun 10, 2024 18:01 |
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It's not about how much you fart. It's about how gross you can be with it. If she farts in the room, just press your hams against her and fart RIGHT ON HER.
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Aug 6, 2013 21:10
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You definitely came to the right place for help.
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Aug 6, 2013 21:15
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To be honest there's no way you can win because girl farts always beat guy farts. Congratulations on your victory, feminists.
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Aug 6, 2013 21:17
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Alternatively: Give her the ole Dutch Oven.
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Aug 6, 2013 21:21
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Finally we are good at something
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Aug 6, 2013 21:21
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If you have a drill, you can drill a small hole in the door to the bathroom. Once she goes in there to do something, press your cheeks against the hole and fart, trapping her in a room rapidly filling with your rear end gas.
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Aug 6, 2013 21:23
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Someone lights a cigarette in methane fart hotbox, goons die
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Aug 6, 2013 21:26
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UnnaturalSELECTION posted:Someone lights a cigarette in methane fart hotbox, goons die Front page of the New York Times the next day would read "Goons perish in literal rear end blast" above this picture: 
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Aug 6, 2013 21:44
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Maybe it's not the quality of the gas but the fart as a whole. Can you do ballet? Do that spinny thing on one toe except your rear end blast is propelling you faster and faster around in a circle creating a Fartnado.
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Aug 6, 2013 22:07
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Mix Fiber One Fart Bars, apple juice, and sugar free hard candies. Eat 2-3 eggs for aroma. Congrats on becoming a biological weapon.
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Aug 6, 2013 22:49
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I just pulled a clog out of my shower drain that was green, blue, white-spotted, lumpy, and was made of hair as long as my arm. I've been living in this apartment for 2.5 years and my hair has never been longer than 1cm, so this thing has been here for like 3 years. I never want to touch food or my body with my hands again.
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Aug 6, 2013 23:46
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Just drink a lot of applejuice.
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Aug 6, 2013 23:47
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:I've been living with my housemate for several years now and things have been pretty chill but recently she's decided that she's okay with farting when I'm in the room. I could ignore it or talk to her like an adult but instead I've decided that an anal arms race is clearly the correct response and I'll discourage her from farting in my presence with overpowering return fire. What should I be eating to make my farts especially rank? Keep in mind that she's a vegetarian so she's already ahead in the game. tehloki posted:I just pulled a clog out of my shower drain that was green, blue, white-spotted, lumpy, and was made of hair as long as my arm. I've been living in this apartment for 2.5 years and my hair has never been longer than 1cm, so this thing has been here for like 3 years. I never want to touch food or my body with my hands again. Eat this.
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Aug 6, 2013 23:51
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tehloki posted:I just pulled a clog out of my shower drain that was green, blue, white-spotted, lumpy, and was made of hair as long as my arm. I've been living in this apartment for 2.5 years and my hair has never been longer than 1cm, so this thing has been here for like 3 years. I never want to touch food or my body with my hands again. I have 3 sisters, my dad was pulling something like that out of the drain about twice a month.
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Aug 6, 2013 23:56
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Mix Fiber One Fart Bars, apple juice, and sugar free hard candies. Hard-boiled eggs. Make sure they're hard-boiled. Come Easter-time, my egg farts are room clearing as all hell. In all seriousness, why do businesses and companies buy the most uncomfortable and the hardest plastic chairs to sit in for large conferences, meetings, orientations, and other things? I just got back from an 8 hour orientation and my spine feels like Jello while my rear end feels like I've got nothing left but bone and pain to sit on. Would it kill them to buy some chairs with at least a little bit of padding or cushion on them?
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Aug 7, 2013 00:44
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I hate the term shitlord
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Aug 7, 2013 02:32
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UnnaturalSELECTION posted:I hate the term shitlord I don't mind that one too badly but 'shitstick' and 'fuckstick' have a special place of hate in my black black heart.
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Aug 7, 2013 02:43
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We've at least moved well beyond the old favorite, "Cuntpope."
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Aug 7, 2013 03:07
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Dunderhead
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Aug 7, 2013 03:09
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Fucktard. Anal Queen. Bitch Idiot.
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Aug 7, 2013 03:12
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:I've been living with my housemate for several years now and things have been pretty chill but recently she's decided that she's okay with farting when I'm in the room. I could ignore it or talk to her like an adult but instead I've decided that an anal arms race is clearly the correct response and I'll discourage her from farting in my presence with overpowering return fire. What should I be eating to make my farts especially rank? Keep in mind that she's a vegetarian so she's already ahead in the game. Whey protein.
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Aug 7, 2013 03:16
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Cabbage.
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Aug 7, 2013 03:22
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Crow Jane posted:Cabbage. This is a pro answer except as aforementioned it's gonna be a relatively low-stink fart and some corned beef would really help with this rear end-offense.
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Aug 7, 2013 03:28
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Turbo Nerd.
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Aug 7, 2013 03:31
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Eat a knuckle sandwich
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Aug 7, 2013 03:32
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I'll knock you off your block.
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Aug 7, 2013 03:36
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You're all cruisin' for a bruisin'.
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Aug 7, 2013 03:38
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Sit on it.
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Aug 7, 2013 03:40
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Sounds like someone needs a hurts donut.
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Aug 7, 2013 03:44
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Petty Bishopric
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Aug 7, 2013 03:44
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Up your nose with a rubber hose!
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Aug 7, 2013 03:49
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Vaffanculo!
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Aug 7, 2013 03:55
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Listen up BUTTHEAD because I'm only gonna say this once, you jerk. Go gently caress yourself, blockhead!
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Aug 7, 2013 04:19
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Why doncha take a long walk off a short pier, asshat?
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Aug 7, 2013 04:41
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And why don't you go piss up a flagpole?
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Aug 7, 2013 04:44
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Crow Jane posted:And why don't you go piss up a flagpole? You read my mind, I was thinking go piss up a rope, must be our proximity to Baltimore
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Aug 7, 2013 04:46
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Shitwizards.
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Aug 7, 2013 04:47
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Dingleberry
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Aug 7, 2013 04:49
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| # ? Jun 10, 2024 18:01 |
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Thread closed to 'tude outbreak
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Aug 7, 2013 04:55
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