post the most worthless kickstarters and greatest investor rewards you got

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > post the most worthless kickstarters and greatest investor rewards you got

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Cold on a Cob: Feb 6, 2006; i've seen so much, i'm going blind
and i'm brain dead virtually; College Slice

Sham bam bamina! posted:

that's the xanth adventure game, based on the best-selling piers anthony series

would have been more obvious if he posted the puzzle involving a pun for seducing a pre-pubescent girl

# ? Aug 13, 2013 01:55

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# ? May 28, 2024 17:45

Proteus4994: Jan 2, 2001; Do not engage. Just tell me to go back to Kiwi Farms where I waste days upon days crying about how I wasted years upon years on SA. Did you know I was personally responsible for SA's rise in popularity in the 00's? It's true! Just come to the Farms and find out how! It's the trash kingdom I deserve.

Cold on a Cob posted:

would have been more obvious if he posted the puzzle involving a pun for seducing a pre-pubescent girl

i actually bought this for my girlfriend back in high school because she was a huge piers anthony fan (should have read the writing on the wall on that one)

if i'm not mistaken i believe there is a point where you try to, if not seduce, at least pick up a pre-pubescent girl

# ? Aug 13, 2013 02:09

Proteus4994: Jan 2, 2001; Do not engage. Just tell me to go back to Kiwi Farms where I waste days upon days crying about how I wasted years upon years on SA. Did you know I was personally responsible for SA's rise in popularity in the 00's? It's true! Just come to the Farms and find out how! It's the trash kingdom I deserve.

also mandatory

# ? Aug 13, 2013 02:10

Cold on a Cob: Feb 6, 2006; i've seen so much, i'm going blind
and i'm brain dead virtually; College Slice

Proteus4994 posted:

i actually bought this for my girlfriend back in high school because she was a huge piers anthony fan (should have read the writing on the wall on that one)

if i'm not mistaken i believe there is a point where you try to, if not seduce, at least pick up a pre-pubescent girl

holy poo poo i just made that up... but i should have known. gently caress u piers anthony u piece of poo poo

# ? Aug 13, 2013 02:15

Vicas: Dec 9, 2009; Sweet tricks, mom.

Proteus4994 posted:

also mandatory

So what color were the giant bird's panties, anyway?

# ? Aug 13, 2013 02:39

Proteus4994: Jan 2, 2001; Do not engage. Just tell me to go back to Kiwi Farms where I waste days upon days crying about how I wasted years upon years on SA. Did you know I was personally responsible for SA's rise in popularity in the 00's? It's true! Just come to the Farms and find out how! It's the trash kingdom I deserve.

Vicas posted:

So what color were the giant bird's panties, anyway?

white and egg-shaped it appears

# ? Aug 13, 2013 02:54

Oppenheimer: Dec 26, 2011; by Smythe

I'm the lynx flanked by babes

# ? Aug 13, 2013 04:01

kitten emergency: Jan 13, 2008; get meow this wack-ass crystal prison

Oppenheimer posted:

I'm the lynx flanked by babes

the only time someone using lynx will be flanked by women

# ? Aug 13, 2013 04:03

Heresiarch: Oct 6, 2005; Literature is not exhaustible, for the sufficient and simple reason that no single book is. A book is not an isolated being: it is a relationship, an axis of innumerable relationships.

minority opinion: bioshock infinite was the best-written game i've played since portal 2. I thought the whole thing was fantastically well-done and i do not understand why people poo poo on it so much

i went into the game without having read anything about it or seen anything other than the "beast of america" trailer and the whole thing came together perfectly for me, including the ending. i even played it through a second time later so i could catch all of the bits that have extra meaning once you understand everything

ymmv when to comes to the game being fun but i'm really jaded and cynical about game writing and b:i didn't trigger any of that

# ? Aug 13, 2013 06:05

Amethyst: Mar 28, 2004; I CANNOT HELP BUT MAKE THE DCSS THREAD A FETID SWAMP OF UNFUN POSTING
plz notice me trunk-senpai

Heresiarch posted:

minority opinion: bioshock infinite was the best-written game i've played since portal 2. I thought the whole thing was fantastically well-done and i do not understand why people poo poo on it so much

i went into the game without having read anything about it or seen anything other than the "beast of america" trailer and the whole thing came together perfectly for me, including the ending. i even played it through a second time later so i could catch all of the bits that have extra meaning once you understand everything

ymmv when to comes to the game being fun but i'm really jaded and cynical about game writing and b:i didn't trigger any of that

come on man. bio inf was the opposite of well written. it is shockingly inconsistent on every level.

The plot is riddled with holes, the characters behave in completely nonsensical ways, and it's views on religion and political revolutions are hilariously half baked.

# ? Aug 13, 2013 06:08

Amethyst: Mar 28, 2004; I CANNOT HELP BUT MAKE THE DCSS THREAD A FETID SWAMP OF UNFUN POSTING
plz notice me trunk-senpai

"My god."
Booker Dewitt surveyed the carnage before him. Men, and women, had been killed in the name of the revolution.
"I never thought it would be like this", he said, as he gunned down the thirtieth wave of policemen. "No social justice is worth this violence"

# ? Aug 13, 2013 06:10

BooLoo: Oct 18, 2010; SLAM TIME

if they try to take tumblr, it is.

# ? Aug 13, 2013 06:40

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

Dixie Cretin Seaman posted:

there's one adventure game from my youth where there's an ordinary-looking slightly-open door in one of the rooms and if you LOOK at it, it says "the door is ajar". to solve one of the puzzles you need a receptacle of some kind and the solution is to TAKE the door and when you take it, it becomes a JAR in your inventory. i still can't decide if that was hilarious or infuriating

that sounds a bit like "nord and bert couldn't make head nor tail of it", where every puzzle was some kind of surreal wordplay, it was pretty good fun but suffered even more than most infocom adventures of "no, logic is no good here, you have to think exactly like the stoned burnout coder who wrote this"

Crasscrab posted:

terry jones also read the audio book of the novel

did he read it naked? this is important.

# ? Aug 13, 2013 07:52

A Sloth: Aug 4, 2010; EVERY TIME I POST I AM REQUIRED TO DISCLOSE THAT I AM A SHITHEAD.

ASK ME MY EXPERT OPINION ON GENDER BASED INSULTS & "ENGLISH ETHNIC GROUPS".

Doesnt everyone want a Tail? A few years ago we began to create the most expressive, controllable, and playful Tail there could be..
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1299398926/grow-your-own-tail?ref=recently_launched

As part of our experiments in interaction and play, we decided to create a Tail that we could wear on our journeys around town. We wanted an extra limb that could do all the naughty things you dream of, but don't dare. Having a Tail lets you express your cheeky side. It gives a voice to your emotions even when you're standing still.. And it looks fabulous out and about!

# ? Aug 13, 2013 11:36

b0red: Apr 3, 2013

The latest in musical stylings. Now open sored GNUstep

drop the license

# ? Aug 13, 2013 12:04

grate deceiver: Jul 10, 2009; Just a funny av. Not a redtext or an own ok.

A Sloth posted:

Doesnt everyone want a Tail? A few years ago we began to create the most expressive, controllable, and playful Tail there could be..
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1299398926/grow-your-own-tail?ref=recently_launched

As part of our experiments in interaction and play, we decided to create a Tail that we could wear on our journeys around town. We wanted an extra limb that could do all the naughty things you dream of, but don't dare. Having a Tail lets you express your cheeky side. It gives a voice to your emotions even when you're standing still.. And it looks fabulous out and about!

second season of orphan black really jumped the shark there

# ? Aug 13, 2013 12:06

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

A Sloth posted:

Doesnt everyone want a Tail? A few years ago we began to create the most expressive, controllable, and playful Tail there could be..
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1299398926/grow-your-own-tail?ref=recently_launched

As part of our experiments in interaction and play, we decided to create a Tail that we could wear on our journeys around town. We wanted an extra limb that could do all the naughty things you dream of, but don't dare. Having a Tail lets you express your cheeky side. It gives a voice to your emotions even when you're standing still.. And it looks fabulous out and about!

remember kids, it's not sexual assault if your prehensile robotic tail does it!

# ? Aug 13, 2013 12:42

Smart Car: Mar 31, 2011

A Sloth posted:

Doesnt everyone want a Schlong? A few years ago we began to create the most expressive, controllable, and playful Schlong there could be..
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1299398926/grow-your-own-tail?ref=recently_launched

As part of our experiments in interaction and play, we decided to create a Schlong that we could wear on our journeys around town. We wanted an extra cock that could do all the naughty things you dream of, but don't dare. Having a Schlong lets you express your cheeky side. It gives a voice to your emotions even when you're standing still.. And it looks fabulous out and about!

So we have been working on creating the perfect Schlong for some years. The video above is of an early prototype. Our final prototype is much more advanced - being fully controllable, it can bend and flex and knock things off tables, tremble and twist and curl, stand up and of course wag and get frisky.. It can also dance in time to music - but more about that later..

# ? Aug 13, 2013 13:21

hubris.height: Jan 6, 2005; Pork Pro

Heresiarch posted:

minority opinion: bioshock infinite was the best-written game i've played since portal 2. I thought the whole thing was fantastically well-done and i do not understand why people poo poo on it so much

i went into the game without having read anything about it or seen anything other than the "beast of america" trailer and the whole thing came together perfectly for me, including the ending. i even played it through a second time later so i could catch all of the bits that have extra meaning once you understand everything

ymmv when to comes to the game being fun but i'm really jaded and cynical about game writing and b:i didn't trigger any of that

i feel mostly the same about it but it is a very unpopular opinion. i enjoyed playing through it. i can see why most people wouldn't care for it because the gun play is largely same poo poo different game, probably not what they expected when they paid 60 bux. but that's why you don't pay 60 bux for a new game.

# ? Aug 13, 2013 13:39

Dixie Cretin Seaman: Jan 22, 2008; all hat and one catte; Hot Rope Guy

A Sloth posted:

Doesnt everyone want a Tail? A few years ago we began to create the most expressive, controllable, and playful Tail there could be..
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1299398926/grow-your-own-tail?ref=recently_launched

As part of our experiments in interaction and play, we decided to create a Tail that we could wear on our journeys around town. We wanted an extra limb that could do all the naughty things you dream of, but don't dare. Having a Tail lets you express your cheeky side. It gives a voice to your emotions even when you're standing still.. And it looks fabulous out and about!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/12/ryan-havens-tannenholz-_n_3744006.html

# ? Aug 13, 2013 13:56

A Sloth: Aug 4, 2010; EVERY TIME I POST I AM REQUIRED TO DISCLOSE THAT I AM A SHITHEAD.

ASK ME MY EXPERT OPINION ON GENDER BASED INSULTS & "ENGLISH ETHNIC GROUPS".

# ? Aug 13, 2013 14:00

01011001: Dec 26, 2012

a surprise to basically nobody

# ? Aug 13, 2013 17:18

A Sloth: Aug 4, 2010; EVERY TIME I POST I AM REQUIRED TO DISCLOSE THAT I AM A SHITHEAD.

ASK ME MY EXPERT OPINION ON GENDER BASED INSULTS & "ENGLISH ETHNIC GROUPS".

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/08/woman-dies-allergic-sex-with-dog_n_893509.html

if only this would happen to all animal fuckers

# ? Aug 13, 2013 17:46

Proteus4994: Jan 2, 2001; Do not engage. Just tell me to go back to Kiwi Farms where I waste days upon days crying about how I wasted years upon years on SA. Did you know I was personally responsible for SA's rise in popularity in the 00's? It's true! Just come to the Farms and find out how! It's the trash kingdom I deserve.

Heresiarch posted:

minority opinion: bioshock infinite was the best-written game i've played since portal 2. I thought the whole thing was fantastically well-done and i do not understand why people poo poo on it so much

i went into the game without having read anything about it or seen anything other than the "beast of america" trailer and the whole thing came together perfectly for me, including the ending. i even played it through a second time later so i could catch all of the bits that have extra meaning once you understand everything

ymmv when to comes to the game being fun but i'm really jaded and cynical about game writing and b:i didn't trigger any of that

you should read a book once in a while

# ? Aug 13, 2013 18:17

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

A Sloth posted:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/08/woman-dies-allergic-sex-with-dog_n_893509.html

if only this would happen to all animal fuckers

Read more > Julien Gardair, Allergic To Dog, Sex With Dog, Woman Dies After Sex With Dog, Woman Dies From Dog Sex, Woman Dies Sex Dog Allergic, Woman Dog Sex, Weird News

# ? Aug 13, 2013 18:21

Heresiarch: Oct 6, 2005; Literature is not exhaustible, for the sufficient and simple reason that no single book is. A book is not an isolated being: it is a relationship, an axis of innumerable relationships.

Proteus4994 posted:

you should read a book once in a while

it's a different medium and has different requirements for the work to be effective

# ? Aug 13, 2013 19:28

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Read more > Julien Gardair, Allergic To Dog, Sex With Dog, Woman Dies After Sex With Dog, Woman Dies From Dog Sex, Woman Dies Sex Dog Allergic, Woman Dog Sex, Weird News

huffpo is just buzzfeed for old people

# ? Aug 13, 2013 19:31

DONT THREAD ON ME: Oct 1, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo; Floss Finder

qirex posted:

huffpo is just buzzfeed for yuppies

# ? Aug 13, 2013 19:33

Cocoa Crispies: Jul 20, 2001; Vehicular Manslaughter!; Pillbug

qirex posted:

huffpo is just buzzfeed for old people

old liberals

# ? Aug 13, 2013 19:34

DONT THREAD ON ME: Oct 1, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo; Floss Finder

remember when arriana huffington was running for governess of california

lol

# ? Aug 13, 2013 19:35

Proteus4994: Jan 2, 2001; Do not engage. Just tell me to go back to Kiwi Farms where I waste days upon days crying about how I wasted years upon years on SA. Did you know I was personally responsible for SA's rise in popularity in the 00's? It's true! Just come to the Farms and find out how! It's the trash kingdom I deserve.

Heresiarch posted:

it's a different medium and has different requirements for the work to be effective

by any medium's standards bioshock infinite was poorly paced and terribly written

# ? Aug 13, 2013 19:37

Cocoa Crispies: Jul 20, 2001; Vehicular Manslaughter!; Pillbug

chumpchous posted:

remember when arriana huffington was running for governess of california

lol

no, the only thing worse than politics is california politics

# ? Aug 13, 2013 19:40

Meat Beat Agent: Aug 5, 2007; felonious assault with a sproinging boner

if bioshock infinite was poorly written then how come it's the citizen kane of video games. check mate idiots

# ? Aug 13, 2013 19:41

DONT THREAD ON ME: Oct 1, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo; Floss Finder

daft punk railroad posted:

if bioshock infinite was poorly written then how come it's the citizen kane of video games. check mate idiots

citizen kane had a bad story that was just ripped off of real life. the dialog was poo poo. it was amazing because it told a story effectively through image and atmosphere, exactly like bioshocik infinite

# ? Aug 13, 2013 19:44

Dixie Cretin Seaman: Jan 22, 2008; all hat and one catte; Hot Rope Guy

A Sloth posted:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/08/woman-dies-allergic-sex-with-dog_n_893509.html

if only this would happen to all animal fuckers

huh. is that like a common pet allergy but, um, at a high dose and taken internally?

# ? Aug 13, 2013 20:04

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

hey, look, more fan made short films

THE CROW THE CROW THE CROW THE CROW THE CROW THE CROW THE CROW (sucks)

I know how yospos has always wanted to be a cat so here you go, you're one step closer

we're going to make the lightest furniture... IN THE WORLD

overheating problems with your macbook? how bout thiscooling dock that only fits macbooks you loving hipster

THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE WILL HAPPEN GUYS, TAKE THIS PLASTIC RING, IT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE

# ? Aug 13, 2013 20:07

prefect: Sep 11, 2001; No one, Woodhouse.
No one.; Dead Man’s Band

Migishu posted:

overheating problems with your macbook? how bout thiscooling dock that only fits macbooks you loving hipster

i would consider buying that, depending on the price

Migishu posted:

THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE WILL HAPPEN GUYS, TAKE THIS PLASTIC RING, IT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE

is $500 the minimum amount you can have a kickstarter for?

# ? Aug 13, 2013 20:10

A Sloth: Aug 4, 2010; EVERY TIME I POST I AM REQUIRED TO DISCLOSE THAT I AM A SHITHEAD.

ASK ME MY EXPERT OPINION ON GENDER BASED INSULTS & "ENGLISH ETHNIC GROUPS".

# ? Aug 13, 2013 20:13

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

prefect posted:

is $500 the minimum amount you can have a kickstarter for?

I've seen $1 campaigns (Kickstarter's answer to "flexible funding" but they may have changed that

# ? Aug 13, 2013 20:31

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# ? May 28, 2024 17:45

Heresiarch: Oct 6, 2005; Literature is not exhaustible, for the sufficient and simple reason that no single book is. A book is not an isolated being: it is a relationship, an axis of innumerable relationships.

Proteus4994 posted:

by any medium's standards bioshock infinite was poorly paced and terribly written

i could explain why i disagree, but you didn't, so i'm not going to waste everybody's time

# ? Aug 13, 2013 20:46

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > post the most worthless kickstarters and greatest investor rewards you got

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