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skipdogg posted:I blame poo poo on "The Cloud" all the time. No one ever questions it. I have a customer that has two buildings on opposite side of a car park. When it rains, the network goes all flaky and apps that a sensitive to lovely network conditions start bombing out or corrupting Access databases, often simultaneously. I think I'm going to start using your answer.
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Aug 16, 2013 18:13
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I get a few of those, and do them all at once at the end of a 2 or 4 week period. Anyone that needs an email from our backups urgently has to run it through their boss and explain why. A partner at my firm is freaking out because his BlackBerry has a virus. Some website called "IN" is asking him to log in and he doesn't know what that is so he must have a virus. yes, it's linkedin
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Aug 16, 2013 18:14
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Nerdrock posted:Same here. It's "The Network" at my office.
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Aug 16, 2013 18:19
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Edit: ^^^ same. Regardless of whether it's even remotely network related.Nativity In Black posted:I love the user catch-all of "The System". Must be that pesky Orac hacking in again... It's quite useful the other way around as well "So what was it?" Well, I could give you the actual answer, and spend 3 hours trying to explain what I mean Or I could say "glitch in the system" and get a knowing nod and look like a genius.
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Aug 16, 2013 18:20
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toe shoes posted:One of our devs got pulled up on the fact that his spacing was not matching up to the rest of the code his team is working on. He then proceeded to run a programme on the the entire apps code base to 'standardise the spacing' and wanted it to be reviewed and merged. The second company I worked for in Japan, our "outsourcing partners" used version control that converted all tab-stops to physical spaces(!) and was only 7-bit clean so it mangled any Japanese language comments added - meanwhile the dev environment did everything with soft tabs. Every time a module got sent offshore for fixing, my boss would run a diff on the thing (ignoring NOTHING) and then schedule a meeting for all of us to go through a printout of the diff, line by line, to check each change was OK. Fun days! (I could *almost* understand this given how crap the quality of code we got back was, but diffing whitespace / bringing up the comment mangling issue EVERY time was just insane) Yes we DID ask the partners to fix their version control, but they didn't. Left that job about 8 years ago and as far as I know they're still doing the same thing.
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Aug 16, 2013 18:44
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A job offer came in: I'll be taking a small pay cut but I'll be losing a lot of responsibility and ineffectiveness that's turning my hair gray and making me old. I'd be leaving a larger private practice doctor office that is directionless technology wise thanks to a recent poorly planned and sourced partnership with a local hospital. The new place is about half the size, has better systems in place and are already on the other side of some projects that I dread implementing where I'm at currently. Plus they seem like cool people who give a poo poo about systems and infrastructure. I think I'm about to  it.
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Aug 16, 2013 19:08
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I have seven days (from yesterday) to finish a project that sales sat on for oh, and yes, seven days from YESTERDAY. None of the project managers are doing anything today, and my seven days include weekends. My boss is pretty much behind me, saying, "just do what you can, and no heroics due to their dumbness" but its still pretty dumb. So I sent this around to all the engineers, and I got a great laugh from it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6_EFE_63wY EDIT: It was worse than I thought. nitrogen fucked around with this message at 19:28 on Aug 16, 2013 |
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Aug 16, 2013 19:17
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Nerdrock posted:Same here. It's either that or 'a virus'. "Help, my monitor is on fire. Do you think it's a virus?"
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Aug 16, 2013 19:35
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Can't remember the last time I saw a virus in the traditional sense. Plenty of malware though, oh god the malware infestations everyone has with the fake antivirus and the "police are coming for you" screens and such.
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Aug 16, 2013 19:52
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The police one once managed to infest the Citrix session, when they told me their card was broken and I saw that, I couldn't stop laughing. Also not my job or even department, but I just told the outsourced office IT to remake her session profile and done. Still was hilarious seeing it inside the session.
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Aug 16, 2013 20:05
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TheFuzzyLumpkin posted:We are missing 27 conference room laptops and rising. Bill the CIO for the missing laptops, then when he comes to complain, tell him that if Fuckstick McGee isn't going to be responsible, then the person who authorized unlocking the laptops is. Watch poo poo trickle downhill.
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Aug 16, 2013 20:11
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GargleBlaster posted:Can't remember the last time I saw a virus in the traditional sense. Plenty of malware though, oh god the malware infestations everyone has with the fake antivirus and the "police are coming for you" screens and such. The last time somebody here got a legitimate concatenating-itself-onto-a-bunch-of-dlls virus combofix removed it completely but also broke his entire printing subsystem. I lost faith in combofix that day.
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Aug 16, 2013 20:19
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What's that joke about the broken down car that the IT guy wants to push back up the hill to see if it breaks down again? After hours of troubleshooting a problem with vmware converter I quickly reran through it to generate an error log and it magically started working. I SPECIFICALLY made no changes to what I had just done just to get the log:( The difficulty of solving an IT problem is directly proportional to the number of browser tabs you have open. "Problem solved..." *closes 173 chrome tabs*
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Aug 16, 2013 20:28
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bobua posted:The difficulty of solving an IT problem is directly proportional to the number of browser tabs you have open. "Problem solved..." *closes 173 chrome tabs* This just made me spit tea everywhere, loving hilarious. and true. See boss, I needed 24GB of RAM in my machine for Chrome....
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Aug 16, 2013 20:35
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bobua posted:What's that joke about the broken down car that the IT guy wants to push back up the hill to see if it breaks down again? After hours of troubleshooting a problem with vmware converter I quickly reran through it to generate an error log and it magically started working. I SPECIFICALLY made no changes to what I had just done just to get the log:(
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Aug 16, 2013 20:38
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Content: Looks like the user that likes to help me pad my time sheet has gotten their monthly malware infection. Ive told them to leave their computer alone while I run scans and clean it up, but they are still working and using some search engine I've never seen before that in the best case just reposts google results and the worst case reposts google results while injecting malware. Its surprising how much a person with a doctorate cannot follow simple directions. YOTJ: Just got a call from a placement agency I've never heard of with an interesting job proposition. They haven't told em wage yet but the job mostly fits what im looking for. I have a proper phone interview scheduled on Monday. Have any of you dealt with Recruitment Partners Inc? They look to be mostly in Alberta with a couple of contracts in Saskatchewan.
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Aug 16, 2013 21:03
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bobua posted:What's that joke about the broken down car that the IT guy wants to push back up the hill to see if it breaks down again? Probably not the same one but quick googling gives this one. A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do? "I know," said the Departmental Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way." "No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way." "Well," said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."
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Aug 16, 2013 21:09
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Sales people are the bane of my life. Or maybe it's just this one pod of them. I don't know. A year after my startup was acquired, the Sales teams are still asking the same questions. It's the same three topics. Always. I've spent hours walking them through these questions. I get three or four inquiries a day from this team. Then when I tell them something like, "No, we don't support that", they'll start asking other people. People who have no idea what they're doing. Then someone finally says "maybe?" because they don't know. Sales guys immediately run to the phones and call all these customers telling them that "Yes, we can do that now!", sell boatloads of lies, all while saying things like "And here we thought we couldn't do that, because ConfusedUs said so. BUT LOOK AT ALL THE MONEY WE JUST MADE gently caress YEAH!" No, we loving can't do that. The feature doesn't exist. Even if we approved it today (not happening), it would take weeks to implement and roll out, if not longer. Get ready to refund all that money you just made. Sales motto: Over promise, under deliver, pass the blame.
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Aug 16, 2013 21:14
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According to the bossman BOOZE FOR EVERYONE! ALL THE VODKA MUST GO!
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Aug 16, 2013 21:14
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Welp, my fellow helpdesk co-worker just gave two weeks notice. People are dropping like flies to this merger. More encouragement to cert up and
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Aug 16, 2013 21:24
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blackswordca posted:Content: Before even hearing anything about the job, wages, or working conditions, I advise you to accept.
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Aug 16, 2013 21:24
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tehloki posted:The last time somebody here got a legitimate concatenating-itself-onto-a-bunch-of-dlls virus combofix removed it completely but also broke his entire printing subsystem. I lost faith in combofix that day.
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Aug 16, 2013 21:34
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nexxai posted:I've seen that specifically happen with the Xerox universal print driver (x5ps.dll or something). All I do is just restore that one file that ComboFix without fail marks as a virus every single time, and it's fine. But no amount of un-installing and re-installing the Xerox UPD will ever fix it. I even had to reimage a few machines before I figured that one out. Naw man, like, spool service was unable to start, couldn't even launch the printer setup dialog, system file checker did nothing to help, total clusterfuck in printing services. It was one of those dudes who uses an infected computer that barely works and continues picking up more and more infections for like 6 months and doesn't tell me until outlook stops working.
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Aug 16, 2013 21:57
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tehloki posted:I lost faith in combofix that day. Combofix is fix-or-kill. About 5% of the time that I use it the system is totally hosed afterwards and needs a reimage... but the alternative was reimage anyway, so shrug. ConfusedUs posted:Sales motto: Over promise, under deliver, pass the blame. Sales in a nutshell: If you don't make the sale, you get blamed. If you make the sale and then engineering fails to fulfill, they get blamed. Always Be Closing.
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Aug 16, 2013 22:28
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sfwarlock posted:Sales in a nutshell: If you don't make the sale, you get blamed. If you make the sale and then engineering fails to fulfill, they get blamed. Always Be Closing. Downloaded the 30 day trial for Solarwinds' Patch Manager yesterday and had their sales department call me today. They were actually helpful, asking if I needed help with anything (I did, go to hell certificates), and would I be okay if they had an engineer join the call and solve my issues (I was, and he did), and throughout the call the sales rep let the engineer do all the demoing, asked for a few details of my network, and said he'd send me some quotes along with some discounts they run monthly. We were already leaning towards purchasing a license and this is the kind of sales pitch that helps move that forward. If he had been pushy in any way or had I caught one sniff of bullshit I would have dropped all interest and started looking at other options.
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Aug 16, 2013 22:54
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Our CEO is very enthusiastic about this three-way project we're working on with one of the largest global resellers and a 'efficiency group' and during our q3/q4 prep meeting he says "I don't want money to be the reason this project fails. Here's an open checkbook." I'm pretty sure we're spending that cash on a new facility and moving everyone and everything into a production area 5x larger than what we have now. The only problem with this is that the staff we have on hand was hand picked by our partners who are supposed to be efficiency experts. I've never seen a production staff that collectively has served a couple decades in prison, is presently in the care of a dozen or so probation officers, or are high school dropouts with nothing better to do than make poo poo wages in a warehouse. Why can't we hire good people to do good work and pay them accordingly?
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Aug 16, 2013 22:56
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Just got another write-up from my boss over taking too many sick days. This is Mr. "I'm writing you up for unexcused absences, your work is barely adequate, and if we lose you, this project is going to fall behind by 6 months." I obviously didn't take that first warning too seriously. This time bossman looked pretty worried and told me straight out that he has talked this project up a lot to the big bosses, and that if we don't deliver in the near future he's going to have some real explaining to do. I'm incredibly tempted to just put in my notice now and live off savings while I look for a new gig.
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Aug 16, 2013 23:25
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Che Delilas posted:Just got another write-up from my boss over taking too many sick days. This is Mr. "I'm writing you up for unexcused absences, your work is barely adequate, and if we lose you, this project is going to fall behind by 6 months." Put in notice and see how much he flounders and offers you the world. Then still decline because it's all empty promises.
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Aug 16, 2013 23:27
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hihifellow posted:If he had been pushy in any way or had I caught one sniff of bullshit I would have dropped all interest and started looking at other options.  where Solarwinds really isn't and your coworkers get jealous that yours is so easy now.che delilas posted:I'm incredibly tempted to just put in my notice now and live off savings while I look for a new gig. Savings disappear a lot more quickly than you think they will.
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Aug 16, 2013 23:32
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hihifellow posted:Downloaded the 30 day trial for Solarwinds' Patch Manager yesterday and had their sales department call me today. I set that up here and like it. We used to use Shavlik but since EMC/VMware bought them we didn't renew. I handed it off to some other guys to manage, but We own 4000 seats worth. Solar Winds sales can contact you a lot, but they're pretty nice about things. I get a call once every 6 weeks or so to see how things are going. I'm on my 3rd account rep in 18 months though. Overall SolarWinds is a pretty decent company, and we like using their products. If you wait for their end of quarter you can get a smoking deal from them. You have to be able to get them paid quickly though when the offer goes out. I got such a good deal I fast tracked a PO to them in 6 hours which is basically unheard of in my company. It was so good I don't feel comfortable publicly saying what it was for fear of pissing them off.
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Aug 16, 2013 23:39
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bort posted:Don't be foolish. Work at finding another gig. I might also ask him what would indicator of progress you could quickly work toward would help mollify his bosses to take the pressure off him. As far as mollifying his bosses, the situation is complicated but we can get done what needs to get done before it becomes a problem. That's not really an issue at the moment. And up until fairly I've been resolved not to just up and quit. I know that doing that is foolish on its face. But I have to consider what being here is doing for my mental state and how it's going to affect my career long-term. I haven't been motivated to code anything challenging or learn anything new lately. I have projects I want to do outside of work that I have no energy for. I feel myself sliding into depression and apathy. It's really alarming to me, and it's coming from the stress and insomnia that stems from just being at this company 5 days a week. I feel like it could be more risky to stay here than to be temporarily jobless. In any case, this is not a decision I'm going to make lightly. If I do put in notice soon, it's not going to be without a great deal of thought behind it. Sorry if this was a little e/n, I'm just trying to figure out the best course of action.
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Aug 16, 2013 23:59
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It isn't more risky. If you're jobless, I'll wonder why you left and were willing to risk that much. Next resume. Write an angry letter and don't mail it. Go out and get hammered or go to the gym. Then get even and get yourself another job. bort fucked around with this message at 00:13 on Aug 17, 2013 |
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Aug 17, 2013 00:11
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tehloki posted:Naw man, like, spool service was unable to start, couldn't even launch the printer setup dialog, system file checker did nothing to help, total clusterfuck in printing services. It was one of those dudes who uses an infected computer that barely works and continues picking up more and more infections for like 6 months and doesn't tell me until outlook stops working. I had the same kind of dude, with the same kind of problem today. Worked on it for my allowed half hour, no progress. Asked for help, received none, said "eff it" and escalated. I expect we will have to flatten and reimage, given that it's an old XP machine. (And he wondered why it kept getting infected...)
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Aug 17, 2013 00:13
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couldcareless posted:I had to nicely explain to her that the backups aren't there for her personal convenience and that loading up our old journaling databases is tedious and that she can't just delete everything willy nilly and send us multiple requests a week asking us to pull it for her. I'm not sure I got through to her. You probably didn't. It's likely that she neither knows nor cares how much trouble you have to go through to get her backups. The correct solution to this is to get your boss to implement chargebacks for your IT work and then bill her department/manager for every backup you have to pull. The only way anyone gives a poo poo how much work their requests are going to require someone else to do (unless they're actually good people, of course) is when an amount of money reflecting that work gets taken out of their department's budget.
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Aug 17, 2013 00:29
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Got another ping on my resume today. Exactly what I was doing at my last job, but 20% more than my current job. I got excited for a minute, but then they told me who it was for. City of Detroit 
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Aug 17, 2013 01:09
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AlexDeGruven posted:Got another ping on my resume today. Exactly what I was doing at my last job, but 20% more than my current job. I got excited for a minute, but then they told me who it was for. I wish it was the future, I want to get a call back on that job I applied to, they are still accepting applications so it may be a while.. I was so excited I did not fill out the references field, but I did submit my resume with it.  6 years of helpdesk/light networking/computer deployment/system administration. I need a better job.
Yaos fucked around with this message at 01:21 on Aug 17, 2013 |
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Aug 17, 2013 01:17
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AlexDeGruven posted:Got another ping on my resume today. Exactly what I was doing at my last job, but 20% more than my current job. I got excited for a minute, but then they told me who it was for. Just so long as you don't agree to help simulate arrest/disarming procedures in the boardroom, you'll be fine probably.
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Aug 17, 2013 01:31
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Marcade posted:Just so long as you don't agree to help simulate arrest/disarming procedures in the boardroom, you'll be fine probably. I would be more worried about actually getting paid.
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Aug 17, 2013 01:43
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AlexDeGruven posted:Got another ping on my resume today. Exactly what I was doing at my last job, but 20% more than my current job. I got excited for a minute, but then they told me who it was for. Once their bankruptcy goes through they'll have money to pay you, right? Right?
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Aug 17, 2013 02:21
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AlexDeGruven posted:I would be more worried about actually getting paid. Eh, they've already declared bankruptcy, so they can't do it again for at least 180 days.
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