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Speaking of parents ruining their lives to spoil their children... I knew a girl who was getting married around 10 years ago, she was about 22 at the time, worked 2 nights a week as a cocktail waitress and was in community college. Daddy's little princess. Her parents didn't have a lot of money but wanted to buy her a dream wedding. She planned a blowout at some rented estate with 7 bridesmaids, stuff like ice sculptures, multiple cakes, a $10k+ dress, 5 course dinner, horse-drawn carriages, open bars, booked a popular local band, etc. All kinds of extravagant bullshit. Her parents footed the bill for all of it and ended up remortgaging their house and taking on oodles of credit card debt so they could pay for it. The groom's parents wanted to give them something nice so they bought them a deluxe Hawaiian honeymoon package. Some kind of super fancy all-inclusive thing. Six days before the wedding the bride called it all off and broke up with the groom. Her parents lost every single deposit and just about every red cent they had to pay in advance for things. It basically ruined their marriage too- they had been married for nearly 30 years but got divorced probably 6 months after this all happened. I think her father kind of cracked up. Her mom never really worked and he watched them flush something probably like $40,000 down the toilet and couldn't deal with it. The groom's parents? They flew into town to be with their son and help him out for a few days. They helped him call all of the friends and relatives they needed to notify of the cancellation (virtually all of his family lived elsewhere.) After a few days they left town and quietly filed an insurance claim. They knew the bride was a flake and bought a trip insurance policy when they booked the honeymoon.
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# ? Aug 23, 2013 16:56 |
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# ? Jun 8, 2024 09:00 |
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We spent about $10k on our wedding, which for the area we're in is cheap. We could have easily blown 20 or more. Totally worth it. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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# ? Aug 23, 2013 19:50 |
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TLG James posted:I'm so glad my fiance just wants a justice of the peace thing with our parents there. Yeah, that's pretty much what ours was. It was great. The money went mostly to reception, travel, and moving. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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# ? Aug 23, 2013 22:34 |
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Volmarias posted:We spent about $10k on our wedding, which for the area we're in is cheap. We could have easily blown 20 or more. Same. I was totally happy with a courthouse wedding but my wife is from South America and really wanted her big expensive Catholic wedding. We ended up settling with a Cruise Ship wedding which was surprisingly great until the honeymoon started and I realized the entire crew was staffed with immigrant slave labor (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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# ? Aug 23, 2013 23:27 |
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Who the hell cares what other people spend on their weddings? If they can afford it without plunging themselves into debt, who gives a poo poo? It's a once in a lifetime event, it's okay to splurge a bit. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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# ? Aug 24, 2013 00:10 |
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I think the problem is that a lot of people feel compelled to spend a lot and plunge themselves into debt. Like that young lady whose parents effectively sank themselves over her wedding that ended up not happening. I also wish that the market for compact and sub-compact cars didn't so heavily favor just getting a new car. Or that I were taller because so many of the used postings around here are SUVs and trucks and larger cars. :/ Also, my bad money story is about my sister. She keeps getting pets, neglecting them, can't afford proper care and then foists them on my dad. Argh.
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# ? Aug 24, 2013 00:35 |
Aquatic Giraffe posted:It's a once in a lifetime event, it's okay to splurge a bit. Aren't you precious (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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# ? Aug 24, 2013 00:36 |
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Delta-Wye posted:Aren't you precious It's SUPPOSED to be a once in a lifetime event. Happy?
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# ? Aug 24, 2013 00:41 |
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:Who the hell cares what other people spend on their weddings? If they can afford it without plunging themselves into debt, who gives a poo poo? It's a once in a lifetime event, it's okay to splurge a bit. Isn't this whole thread primarily for people to go "I didn't spend that much on my wedding/house/car/grocery bill"? Don't be a kill-joy. Speaking of which, one dude at my workplace started saving to pay for his daughter's wedding the day she was born. He's Indian though, so it's somewhat traditional- the wedding was in India, with over 300 guests, and the total bill was in the region of $250k. I wish he had sent around photos, it must have been insane.
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# ? Aug 24, 2013 00:53 |
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Thanks to a lapse in my record-keeping, I owe the government $375, and will probably owe them a similar amount next year. It's not something I owed but forgot to pay, but rather a penalty that was completely avoidable. Now seeing as I can just pay that without any drama I don't know if it necessarily belongs in this thread, but drat do I feel stupid for burning over $700 because I couldn't be assed to spend 2 minutes and make a note in a spreadsheet a year and a half ago.
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# ? Aug 24, 2013 02:45 |
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nyerf posted:Isn't this whole thread primarily for people to go "I didn't spend that much on my wedding/house/car/grocery bill"? Don't be a kill-joy. This thread is for people to go "Look at the crazy stupid things people do with their money." The bit is actually pretty annoying. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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# ? Aug 24, 2013 04:38 |
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One of my co-workers just proudly announced selling all of his stock so that he could use it to buy a 'successful' Quixtar 'business'.
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# ? Aug 24, 2013 16:01 |
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My friends are pretty terrible with money (Not that I can say much). It's the little things that bother me, like when they get 6k back in taxes, rather than spend it on paying off their car (like they kept saying they would) he had to build a huge deck with the money. 3 months later, the car threw a rod. So now they rolled that 6k loan onto a brand new Chevy Malibu, so they now have this huge loving upside down loan. His wife bought a used (2006ish) Dodge Ram 1500 for his 30th birthday. He had an old beater Toyota that he owned outright. Why? "He never gets what he wants". Mind you, they've already gone bankrupt once, turning in a 2006 Nissan Altima and 2006 Nissan Frontier, both of which they bought brand new. They've had tons of quads of which they've destroyed over the years. He built a porch because he wanted it, he gets his nice 50+ inch TVs, his leather couches his game consoles (which he doesn't have time to play anymore because he's working 80 hours a week to afford this poo poo) all because he wanted it. He's already cashed out his 401k, and I'm pretty sure he hasn't started one back up. I know they barely had any savings, they were scraping desperately to save to come to our wedding, but that was all killed off because her car hosed up. It's sad because if he lost his job or was injured in some way, they'd be hosed. He doesn't want to take a supervisory position they're trying to shove down his throat because it won't make as much money as him working overtime. Of course they want him on salary. (His other excuse is he doesn't want the responsibility if someone gets injured).
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# ? Aug 24, 2013 17:14 |
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DuckConference posted:but drat do I feel stupid for burning over $700 because I couldn't be assed to spend 2 minutes and make a note in a spreadsheet a year and a half ago. I waste around 1-2% of my income every year because I forget to pay something on time (I've renewed my car registration on time - which takes about 5 minutes, online - once in the past five years), or because the money to pay a bill isn't in the bank account the bill gets paid from, or because I can't be assed to make some phone call.
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# ? Aug 25, 2013 05:19 |
Gothmog1065 posted:My friends are pretty terrible with money (Not that I can say much). It's the little things that bother me, like when they get 6k back in taxes, rather than spend it on paying off their car (like they kept saying they would) he had to build a huge deck with the money. 3 months later, the car threw a rod. So now they rolled that 6k loan onto a brand new Chevy Malibu, so they now have this huge loving upside down loan. I have one or two friends who I've had to stop seeing as often because I find their constant financial worries really taxing. While my friends are great people and I'm definitely not saying 'I can't visit my friends because they're too poor', it's quite difficult to maintain a friendship when they can't go out anywhere that costs money because of their latest (self-inflicted) financial crisis, and they don't want to go out to anywhere free or reasonably cheap because of reasons such as 'I don't like public transport' or 'picnics are cheesy'. The thing is although I'm happy to pay for a friends movie ticket or dinner from time to time, after a while you begin to wonder if they are taking advantage of you. It's hard having a friend tell you all about the latest console they bought the other day, only for them to turn around and say 'oh sorry I can't go out with you to the cinema/museum/whatever, hahaha I'm so broke'. Once or twice you can accept it, but when it happens more often you have to wonder whether or not they value you and spending time with you over having the latest gadget. froglet fucked around with this message at 07:30 on Aug 25, 2013 |
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# ? Aug 25, 2013 07:20 |
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froglet posted:To be fair most people would shun a salaried job if it ends up with them working the same hours for less pay. I kind of find my friends funny, love them to death but when we go out and they're "struggling" all they get are cheese fries and they loving smother them in ranch. It's almost a cheese fry soup. This is at places like outback and stuff. It almost makes my wife and I lose our appetites. My friend's wife just doesn't want to get a job anymore. There's always a reason for it. It's "too far away" or "not the right hours" because she has to watch their kids. The kids are like 14, 11 and 10, and my friend works 3rd, so it's not like there's nobody home during the day.
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# ? Aug 25, 2013 17:21 |
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Last year I signed myself up for online classes to complete some A-levels, for £250. I then signed up for another class for another £250. It's a year on, and I haven't done any work towards it because my career has gone in a different direction. Still kicking myself over it; not having done any work after the first £250 was spent should have raised a red flag for me. Oh well.
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# ? Aug 25, 2013 19:22 |
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Bisty Q. posted:One of my co-workers just proudly announced selling all of his stock so that he could use it to buy a 'successful' Quixtar 'business'. I'll buy a video camera if you'll spend the next year trailing him to document his "investment." The documentary would be both entertaining and educational!
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# ? Aug 26, 2013 02:14 |
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Something in this thread just reminded me of a friend, "Jon", I had back in high school/college. This friend was always borrowing and loaning money, for whatever reason. He would borrow $20 from me, but he knew that Jim and Adam each owed him $10. So when I wanted my $20 back, he told me to collect it from Jim and Adam. The first time this happened, it wasn't a big deal. I was friends with Jim and Adam as well and I was able to collect my money. However, soon after a pattern developed. Next thing we knew, everyone was constantly trying to collect money from everyone else because of Jon borrowing and loaning money. It quickly spiraled into: Adam would pay Brent the money that Adam owed to Jon, but Jim was expected to collect some of that money from Brent for a separate loan, meanwhile I had to ask George for $20 because of a separate loan. It was never more than maybe $10 to $30 exchanging hands. He would literally break it down to where you might have to ask 2 or 3 people each to pay back the portion of money that you had loaned to Jon. But Jon was always broke, so if you wanted your money, you had no recourse but to ask those people. After just a few weeks of that, it got to the point where nobody would ever take or give money to Jon ever again. Jon went on to make a series of really bad decisions regarding rental homes during college, took out way more in student loans than he should have, and ultimately moved to Korea. If someone moves out of country, are they still liable for student loans? I know generally they are the one thing that will follow you just about forever, but not sure about this.
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# ? Aug 26, 2013 04:06 |
johnny sack posted:If someone moves out of country, are they still liable for student loans? I know generally they are the one thing that will follow you just about forever, but not sure about this. Still liable as far as I'm aware, just that collecting becomes that much harder because they'd have to track the person down in Korea, find a local lawyer who speaks the language as well as English and possibly hire a translator to translate any relevant documents. Even then there's no guarantee the debtor will pay up or even have enough assets worth seizing or placing a lien upon (plus most countries have laws about what can and can't be seized in these kind of proceedings). It's probably easier and more profitable to just put the screws on some broke single parent in the same country as the lender than it is to try chasing these people internationally. froglet fucked around with this message at 05:16 on Aug 26, 2013 |
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# ? Aug 26, 2013 05:13 |
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Speaking as someone who moved out of the country and is still liable for student loans: yes. If you ever want credit extended to you while living overseas, and you say you're originally from the US, the credit check will often (but not always) include a query of your credit history in your home country. You can't just make debt go away by moving out of the country. Yes it makes you far, far less likely to be subject to collections should you go into default, but your credit history in your home country will take the hit just the same. And countries' credit bureaus are increasingly sharing credit info with one another. zmcnulty fucked around with this message at 06:10 on Aug 26, 2013 |
# ? Aug 26, 2013 06:04 |
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zmcnulty posted:Speaking as someone who moved out of the country and is still liable for student loans: yes. If you ever want credit extended to you while living overseas, and you say you're originally from the US, the credit check will often (but not always) include a query of your credit history in your home country. Yea I guess that was the sort of answer I was looking for. I knew they wouldn't just magically disappear, but rather if they would have any recourse to garnish wages or otherwise collect from you. One quick story: my cousin bought $500 worth of Minnesota Twins Homer Hankies when they re-released them a few years back. He and I were both under the impression, which might have been totally wrong, that it was the first time they had re-released them since the Twins were relevant in the 90's. His plan was to flip them on Craigslist or ebay for 3 or more times than he paid. Ends up, they sell them regularly all the time now. He managed to sell most of them, but he took a big hit on them, selling them 3 for a buck, that kind of deal.
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# ? Aug 26, 2013 06:47 |
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One of the docs in my former medical group is really bad with money too. The group's average salary is 200k+. When at work, she would discuss the two porsches that she owns. She also purchased an expensive timeshare in Vail Colorado. Before I left the group, she was saying about how she wanted to leave the group but couldn't leave because of a 30k signing bonus that she couldn't afford to pay back! She was a very nice person and an excellent doctor but how in the world do you not have 30k in the bank when you make 200k+. This makes it sound like my former medical group was awful but that medical group was an awesome group of docs with excellent management. I only left to pursue a dream that was not medicine related.
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# ? Aug 26, 2013 07:25 |
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Do you know the details of the signing bonus? Maybe she only had to stick it out for another six months before being absolved of contractual obligation. Sure it sounds dumb at face value but $30k is a decent amount of money, not so many people have that just lying around in their bank account, even people that make $200k/year. zmcnulty fucked around with this message at 07:42 on Aug 26, 2013 |
# ? Aug 26, 2013 07:37 |
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I actually do know the details of the signing bonus because I took it too. I had to repay PLUS interest when I left. She would definitely had to pay it back unless she stays a few more years. I guess I just had a very conservative upbringing regarding finance. We believe that a penny saved is one and a half penny earned. My wife and I still bring our bottles to the recycling center. Not having six month savings is profane to us. To not have 30k when you make so much is hard to reconcile.
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# ? Aug 26, 2013 08:32 |
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lostleaf posted:I actually do know the details of the signing bonus because I took it too. I had to repay PLUS interest when I left. She would definitely had to pay it back unless she stays a few more years. I guess I just had a very conservative upbringing regarding finance. We believe that a penny saved is one and a half penny earned. My wife and I still bring our bottles to the recycling center. Not having six month savings is profane to us. To not have 30k when you make so much is hard to reconcile. You still take your bottles to the centre but are ok with paying back 30k with interest because you couldn't wait another year or so? __ My brother is going to university this September and just bought a £3000 guitar. He said "Relax, I've got my loans for everything I'll need at uni"
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# ? Aug 26, 2013 10:54 |
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If you have a spare $30k+, wouldn't it make more sense to have it invested rather than to just have it sitting around free? My bad-with-money story isn't terribly exciting but it drives me up the wall. I know someone who (illegally) took over her parents' rent-controlled apartment in an insanely good neighborhood in Manhattan and had a light job fall into her lap. It can't be terribly lucrative, but her rent is so low it doesn't need to be. I think she just grew up so wealthy she doesn't realize it's not normal to take two-week vacations in Europe every year, or to drop four figures on Manhattan movie tickets (and you know it's not matinees). All she does is spend money and complain, and this last week she was saying how she would be so good at being an idle rich person. Girl, you ARE an idle rich person and you're terrible at it. Anne Whateley fucked around with this message at 13:28 on Aug 26, 2013 |
# ? Aug 26, 2013 13:16 |
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DrAlexanderTobacco posted:You still take your bottles to the centre but are ok with paying back 30k with interest because you couldn't wait another year or so? When I left my previous job I had to repay my employer for some education I undertook which they paid for on the condition I stayed around for 12 more months. Even though I ended up having to pay about 5k out of pocket, it was worth it to move to a job which paid 25k per annum higher than I was previously making. Obviously 5k isn't anywhere near 30k, but sometimes it makes sense to accept a small loss in return for a big gain.
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# ? Aug 26, 2013 13:29 |
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DrAlexanderTobacco posted:You still take your bottles to the centre but are ok with paying back 30k with interest because you couldn't wait another year or so? The choice between being able to cross off many things on my bucket list OR saving a grand in interest payments, I know which one I would choose every time. Especially when the original bonus was invested in this fund over a period of two years On a related note, my father in law is also pretty bad with money. He is one of the most hardworking man I know and has accumulated mid six figures in net worth. The issue isn't that he doesn't have any money but that he refuses to enjoy any of it. He avoids a 55 cent fare on the bus by hitching a ride to the local university then taking the free university shuttle. He talks frequently about wanting to see some famous sites but then always declines to go in the end. Part of it is wanting to let his only daughter inherit as much as possible. Part of it is his incredibly frugal personality. But the dude has worked hard for his money and seriously deserves to enjoy it. I'm going to continue to encourage him to spend some of his money on himself.
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# ? Aug 27, 2013 01:48 |
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lostleaf posted:On a related note, my father in law is also pretty bad with money. He is one of the most hardworking man I know and has accumulated mid six figures in net worth. The issue isn't that he doesn't have any money but that he refuses to enjoy any of it. He avoids a 55 cent fare on the bus by hitching a ride to the local university then taking the free university shuttle. He talks frequently about wanting to see some famous sites but then always declines to go in the end. Part of it is wanting to let his only daughter inherit as much as possible. Part of it is his incredibly frugal personality. But the dude has worked hard for his money and seriously deserves to enjoy it. I'm going to continue to encourage him to spend some of his money on himself. Would it be possible to get him to study up a little bit on economics? I know it was in my early classes of that that I truly began to understand opportunity costs and comparative advantages and all that. Get beyond the very basics and it will bring up how even leisure time isn't "free." On the trips, does he have someone to share the experience with?
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# ? Aug 27, 2013 03:26 |
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How exactly is that "bad with money"? Conspicuous consumption need not be your end goal. He clearly values providing for his daughter (needed or not) over travel or other things. I mean, we've got family friends that did literally nothing besides go to church, ate only cheap, home-cooked meals and got all of their clothing, furniture and housewares second-hand for 6 years. You know what else they did in that 6 years? Paid off a $200,000 mortgage.
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# ? Aug 27, 2013 03:34 |
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grack posted:How exactly is that "bad with money"? Conspicuous consumption need not be your end goal. He clearly values providing for his daughter (needed or not) over travel or other things. What is the point of even earning money if you never end up doing anything with it beyond the bare minimum for survival? So they paid off a mortgage far before it was due, but the sacrifices they made to make that happen are insane and a drop in a standard of living they otherwise could have afforded. Sure, it's not being bad with money in the same way someone who overextends themselves far beyond their means is, but they are certainly misusing their money and harming their lives because of it.
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# ? Aug 27, 2013 05:04 |
Shipon posted:What is the point of even earning money if you never end up doing anything with it beyond the bare minimum for survival? So they paid off a mortgage far before it was due, but the sacrifices they made to make that happen are insane and a drop in a standard of living they otherwise could have afforded. Sure, it's not being bad with money in the same way someone who overextends themselves far beyond their means is, but they are certainly misusing their money and harming their lives because of it. Perhaps they made a conscious decision that immediate sacrifices will improve their standard of living in the future enough to justify it? Even with a modest interest rate, they could have saved somewhere in the neighborhood of 50% the value of the house just in interest.
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# ? Aug 27, 2013 05:17 |
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"Bad with money" generally implies spending beyond your means, not under them. So I personally don't think penny pinchers really have a place in this thread. I think the spending now vs. saving now debate has mostly been covered in the early retirement thread anyway.
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# ? Aug 27, 2013 05:25 |
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Delta-Wye posted:Perhaps they made a conscious decision that immediate sacrifices will improve their standard of living in the future enough to justify it? Even with a modest interest rate, they could have saved somewhere in the neighborhood of 50% the value of the house just in interest. Debt and credit aren't necessarily bad things. They are tools that can be abused, but deliberately avoiding the use of these tools is also foolish.
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# ? Aug 27, 2013 05:47 |
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cowofwar posted:I would say that both abusing credit and under-using credit are both indicative of being bad with money. Someone who drops $20,000 on a new car they can't afford is bad with money. Someone that pays cash for the car and turns down 0.99% financing in order to avoid debt is bad with money. Someone who has a comfortable job but dumps all their money in to their mortgage and lives a poverty lifestyle as a result is bad with money. So.... saving $100,000 in interest and owning your own, detached home outright before you're 30 is "bad with money"? I mean, you're entitled to your opinion and all but this happens to be a really, really stupid opinion. Shipon posted:What is the point of even earning money if you never end up doing anything with it beyond the bare minimum for survival? So they paid off a mortgage far before it was due, but the sacrifices they made to make that happen are insane and a drop in a standard of living they otherwise could have afforded. Sure, it's not being bad with money in the same way someone who overextends themselves far beyond their means is, but they are certainly misusing their money and harming their lives because of it. Lifestyle isn't everything. And 6 years in the course of a marriage isn't much if you're committed to a goal.
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# ? Aug 27, 2013 05:58 |
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cowofwar posted:I would say that both abusing credit and under-using credit are both indicative of being bad with money. Someone who drops $20,000 on a new car they can't afford is bad with money. Someone that pays cash for the car and turns down 0.99% financing in order to avoid debt is bad with money. Someone who has a comfortable job but dumps all their money in to their mortgage and lives a poverty lifestyle as a result is bad with money. I might be bad with money. I'm 30 year old dude, make mid-80s, single, have never had any credit/debt, and live in a 100-150sq foot rented room. I basically own a car, mattress, clothes, laptop, and cell phone. I paid my way through college, and when I graduated and got better jobs, I just never really adjusted my budget or needed credit when I bought my last 15 year old car. I live in suburban Texas.
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# ? Aug 27, 2013 06:12 |
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cowofwar posted:I would say that both abusing credit and under-using credit are both indicative of being bad with money. Someone who drops $20,000 on a new car they can't afford is bad with money. Someone that pays cash for the car and turns down 0.99% financing in order to avoid debt is bad with money. Someone who has a comfortable job but dumps all their money in to their mortgage and lives a poverty lifestyle as a result is bad with money. Just because you can qualify for a low interest rate doesn't mean you should always take out a loan. Someone who elects to pay cash for their car rather than take a promo interest rate gains the benefit of owning their car outright and never having to worry about a payment if they become disabled or lose their job. This also ignores the fact that promo interest rate offers often come at the expense of straight cash back offers (e.g., 0% interest or $1500 cash back, choose one). Yes, mathematically you might be better off in many scenarios by taking the loan and investing the money. However, calling someone who does so "bad with money" and within the scope of this thread is ludicrous.
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# ? Aug 27, 2013 06:21 |
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grack posted:So.... saving $100,000 in interest and owning your own, detached home outright before you're 30 is "bad with money"? My point is that choosing to live in squalor for 10 years in order to pay off your mortgage faster when you could live a reasonable lifestyle by extending it out for only 5 more years is not a good decision. Yes, it costs you more money over a longer term, but for the duration of a typical mortgage amount, the servicing would be decreased by $1,000 a month, which would make a huge difference if you went from $2,000 to $3,000 of disposable income a month. Paying interest isn't a bad thing by default. When you borrow money you balance a number of factors and lifestyle is one of them. If someone is happy and comfortable with their payments then that's great, but my statement was directed at people who live a self-imposed unsatisfying lifestyle in order to service debt just for the sake of discharging it. NJ Deac posted:Just because you can qualify for a low interest rate doesn't mean you should always take out a loan. Someone who elects to pay cash for their car rather than take a promo interest rate gains the benefit of owning their car outright and never having to worry about a payment if they become disabled or lose their job. This also ignores the fact that promo interest rate offers often come at the expense of straight cash back offers (e.g., 0% interest or $1500 cash back, choose one). Basically, good financial decisions involve running the numbers and selecting variables that optimize your benefit. What I'm saying is that making decisions based on credit = good or debt = bad is not being good with money. Edit - nevermind, you guys aren't actually reading what I'm writing. cowofwar fucked around with this message at 07:45 on Aug 27, 2013 |
# ? Aug 27, 2013 06:35 |
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# ? Jun 8, 2024 09:00 |
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Lifestyle isn't everything. Clearly these people were willing to sacrifice for a few years for substantial gains in later years. Calling this "bad at money" is incredibly stupid, especially as NJ Deac said, in the context of this thread.
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# ? Aug 27, 2013 06:53 |