post the most worthless kickstarters and greatest investor rewards you got

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > post the most worthless kickstarters and greatest investor rewards you got

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Olivil: Jul 15, 2010; Wow I'd like to be as smart as a computer

a chamois is traditionally made of camel skin too (chameau in french)

cameltoe snype

# ? Aug 28, 2013 21:39

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# ? May 15, 2024 04:41

BooLoo: Oct 18, 2010; SLAM TIME

i thought it came traditionally from a goat, also called chamois.

honestly though i don't care, more power to those ladies and their giant leather knickers

# ? Aug 28, 2013 21:42

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

BooLoo posted:

does "chamois" mean something else in the usa? because where i come from it means a super crazy absorbant cloth so in this context it's a bit weird and mildly gross. how sweaty are these people getting?

more like sham-wow

# ? Aug 28, 2013 22:02

Dixie Cretin Seaman: Jan 22, 2008; all hat and one catte; Hot Rope Guy

BooLoo posted:

does "chamois" mean something else in the usa? because where i come from it means a super crazy absorbant cloth so in this context it's a bit weird and mildly gross. how sweaty are these people getting?

yea i thought that too, maybe this bike cushion thingy doubles as a maxi pad?

# ? Aug 28, 2013 22:04

BooLoo: Oct 18, 2010; SLAM TIME

look who joined the party

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1544635303/postal-2?ref=recently_launched

# ? Aug 28, 2013 22:14

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

BooLoo posted:

look who joined the party

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1544635303/postal-2?ref=recently_launched

quote:

Where the money goes

The money goes all for cocaine for the stars down the nose.

at least hes honest about that much

# ? Aug 28, 2013 22:17

Olivil: Jul 15, 2010; Wow I'd like to be as smart as a computer

BooLoo posted:

i thought it came traditionally from a goat, also called chamois.

honestly though i don't care, more power to those ladies and their giant leather knickers

ye ur right

# ? Aug 28, 2013 22:24

MindSet: Dec 21, 2008; If this goes badly, and I make a crater, I want it named after me!

BooLoo posted:

does "chamois" mean something else in the usa? because where i come from it means a super crazy absorbant cloth so in this context it's a bit weird and mildly gross. how sweaty are these people getting?

idk but on my bike shorts the padding is hella breathable which owns

e: it also pads my junk from the seat which is nice too

MindSet fucked around with this message at 22:31 on Aug 28, 2013

# ? Aug 28, 2013 22:24

MindSet: Dec 21, 2008; If this goes badly, and I make a crater, I want it named after me!

Captain Cool posted:

it's just bike shorts without legs

nope

guess I'll try commandoing on the commute home. will probably own even more than bike shorts already do

# ? Aug 28, 2013 22:25

worse than bronies: Aug 28, 2013; by Y Kant Ozma Post

the whole point of bike shorts is it removes chafing from underwear moving around over long rides

Cream_Filling posted:

hm if only there was a way to place a foam pad between the seat and my crotch that didn't require special underwear

some way to attach a foam pad to the seat itself

saddles are supposed to only touch the sit bones and keep most of your weight being on the pedals, the big padded saddles cause hella rear end damage

# ? Aug 28, 2013 22:37

MindSet: Dec 21, 2008; If this goes badly, and I make a crater, I want it named after me!

worse than bronies posted:

hella rear end damage

mmmmmmmmods!

# ? Aug 28, 2013 22:42

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

BooLoo posted:

look who joined the party

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1544635303/postal-2?ref=recently_launched

oh god, i saw the first postal (when it premiered in montreal)

it was really bad

but still better than dungeon siege

# ? Aug 29, 2013 03:17

anthonypants: May 6, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo; Dinosaur Gum

the only wallet you'll ever need

# ? Aug 29, 2013 08:16

BooLoo: Oct 18, 2010; SLAM TIME

i'm the personal id card poorly censored on the internet

# ? Aug 29, 2013 08:17

~Coxy: Dec 9, 2003; R.I.P. Inter-OS Sass - b.2000AD d.2003AD

Werthog 95 posted:

i use ice so rarely that every time i check my ice cube trays there's just little slivers rattling around in them

they don't tell you that downside about frost-free freezers when you're buying a new fridge at the appliance store

# ? Aug 29, 2013 08:47

Nelson MandEULA: Feb 27, 2011; "...the biggest shitbag
I have ever met."

~Coxy posted:

they don't tell you that downside about frost-free freezers when you're buying a new fridge at the appliance store

my poor sublimating ice cubes! :qq:

# ? Aug 29, 2013 09:17

prefect: Sep 11, 2001; No one, Woodhouse.
No one.; Dead Man’s Band

WorkingPeer posted:

my poor sublimating ice cubes!

what if you put covers on your ice trays?

# ? Aug 29, 2013 12:00

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

BooLoo posted:

look who joined the party

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1544635303/postal-2?ref=recently_launched

i thought uwe boll films were supposed to be money laundering operations because of some dumb german tax loophole

# ? Aug 29, 2013 13:19

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

prefect posted:

what if you put covers on your ice trays?

let me tell you from experience what happens is that those covers just get frozen to the trays

# ? Aug 29, 2013 13:20

Hashtag Nascar: Jan 4, 2012

should kickstart a rematch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3M_wGfYewo

# ? Aug 29, 2013 13:25

penus de milo: Mar 9, 2002; CHAR CHAR

more like kickstart lowtax in the head again

# ? Aug 29, 2013 15:03

hubris.height: Jan 6, 2005; Pork Pro

Hashtag Nascar posted:

should kickstart a rematch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3M_wGfYewo

my fav part of this is before the match lowtax goes 'i'm just here for the free trip idc bout fightin'' and that never gets mentioned

also bowle is poo poo and his solution to people hating his terrible movies is to fist fight the critics. it is logic like this that makes poo poo movies

# ? Aug 29, 2013 15:17

GameCube: Nov 21, 2006

anthonypants posted:

the only wallet you'll ever need

yeah thanks for the week old repost from yourkickstartersucks. god bless

# ? Aug 29, 2013 15:20

anthonypants: May 6, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo; Dinosaur Gum

Werthog 95 posted:

yeah thanks for the week old repost from yourkickstartersucks. god bless

whew, i was worried someone was going to think i was looking for wallets on indiegogo. thanks for clearing that up pal

# ? Aug 29, 2013 15:46

DaTroof: Nov 16, 2000; CC LIMERICK CONTEST GRAND CHAMPION
There once was a poster named Troof
Who was getting quite long in the toof

Al! posted:

i thought uwe boll films were supposed to be money laundering operations because of some dumb german tax loophole

last i heard they closed the loophole

# ? Aug 29, 2013 15:46

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

Mercury Games invites you to experience Travis R. Chance's INFAMY. - IT'S AN EXPERIENCE

People suck at parking. You should let them know. Here's how. - How... passive agressive of you

iCPooch is an internet enabled device that lets you video chat and deliver your dog a treat from anywhere in the world! - a tablet attached to a plastic food dispenser that dogs will just break into anyway

You'll love what we have invented. - no we won't, but we'll love to make fun of you for it (seriously, check out that 2 person driving model). also apparently concept models are good enough for kickstarter nowardays?

This book describes the idea of human immortality, as continuation of life of the existing man in a new electronic image after death - oh good a book about the singularity or something

Blooddrops & Lolipops is a dark story, that tries really hard not to be. - NOT DRAWN BY AN 8 YEAR OLD GIRL THIS IS A PERSON WHO MOVED TO OREGON AND LIVED IN HER CAR FOR 6 MONTHS WHILE WORKING ON THIS FOR SOME REASON

Help start several new web shows that are wild irreverently animated..literally. Creations of the next funniest web cartoons on the web - OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIS(?) FACE

# ? Aug 29, 2013 17:47

prefect: Sep 11, 2001; No one, Woodhouse.
No one.; Dead Man’s Band

Migishu posted:

You'll love what we have invented. - no we won't, but we'll love to make fun of you for it (seriously, check out that 2 person driving model). also apparently concept models are good enough for kickstarter nowardays?

i'm sure it will be horrible, but at least the idea seems like it could be cool

# ? Aug 29, 2013 17:51

Elder Postsman: Aug 30, 2000; i used hot bot to search for "teens"

Migishu posted:

People suck at parking. You should let them know. Here's how. - How... passive agressive of you

quote:

Good day to you sirs!

# ? Aug 29, 2013 17:52

GameCube: Nov 21, 2006

Migishu posted:

Help start several new web shows that are wild irreverently animated..literally. Creations of the next funniest web cartoons on the web - OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIS(?) FACE

Erica is the name of the creator. Eric Crooks is the stage name. Like Dr. Suess and other famous stage names. Erica is a non-op transwoman lesbian.

# ? Aug 29, 2013 17:59

Dr. Honked: Jan 9, 2011; eat it you slaaaaaaag

Migishu posted:

Blooddrops & Lolipops is a dark story, that tries really hard not to be. - NOT DRAWN BY AN 8 YEAR OLD GIRL THIS IS A PERSON WHO MOVED TO OREGON AND LIVED IN HER CAR FOR 6 MONTHS WHILE WORKING ON THIS FOR SOME REASON

gradient fills - the mark of quality

Dr. Honked fucked around with this message at 18:02 on Aug 29, 2013

# ? Aug 29, 2013 18:00

GameCube: Nov 21, 2006

A press release photo had been made so we have permission to show Erica currently. Erica would also like to joke that no frat boy bully would DARE wear make up and imitate "Eric Crooks" ever again due to men's greatest fears. Isn't she beautiful and only 25.

not tryin to transbash or whatever, there is obviously something very hosed up going on here

quote:

Q: Why is the controversial Eric Crooks legacy so sad? And has it been dubbed officially?
A: The one on our site is dubbed officially by Eric Crooks voice digitally created to sound like a computerized voice. At the time this sketch was created in March 2009, it was about 10 minutes long and meant to be topical as a dark parody of Eric Crooks having no legacy as a transwoman 100 years from now (Ironicly in reality becoming true in 2013). It was a long sketch satirizing the tragedies in the creator of the show's life at the time. It was not carefully written, it was written in a rush and there was a lot of personal information of the creator that was exposed and needed to be changed later when the show was archived. It sparked controversy with the addition to prank fake complaints from bullies in the creator's life. The reason the sketch was created was quite sad.
(1. It was a political protest against public access television censorship of free speech and creative speech.
(2. At the time, the show's creator was living with abusive parents and it was a little cry for help through the art.
The controversy and misunderstanding was over the lines "Eric Crooks has 10 minutes to live" and "In August 2009, Eric Crooks tried to commit suicide but he chickened out). The sketch was set 100 years in the futuristic future and Eric's caricature was on a deathbed. It was an irreverent broadcast of a legacy that wasn't there. The show's creator never fully acted on suicide and it was a work of fiction. A lot of personal abuse happened around this time including the two ex-friends who were the cyberbully trolls of YouTube. The show returned in 2011 in animated form and in 2013 officially returned to the internet. But yes it was a sad time. The creator was trapped in the wrong body and was mis-diagnosted with Asperger's Syndrome and realized it in 2011. However suffered since 2009 with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to what happened. The sketch didn't cause harm, the immature reactions did as well as it's creator. Mentioning that some of the original footage had been destroyed due to some of the stuff happening at the time including an angry puppet of Eric Crooks that made cameos in the 2008 and 2009 episodes, This episode had to be saved for the following reasons.
(1. It was the strongest controversy and most ridiculous one within the show's history due to the fact that an artist can't mock their-self in anyway they want.
(2. It's one of the most important things of the show's history.
(3. Just recently the show's creator has came out of the closet as a transwoman and it's ironic that it was a joke in 2009 when the show's creator was an Androgyne before switching to a Queer Heterosexual. Marketing that it was the only prediction that actually came true. In the show's creator's own words "I deserved it and I'm so happy I did!"

# ? Aug 29, 2013 18:00

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

ok so now i feel bad for transbashing when i didn't know but jesus christ the comic is still loving bad

# ? Aug 29, 2013 18:04

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

hey guys i'm going to start a kickstarter for my original comic about a guy and his lovely life. he's works as a computer janitor for [REDACTED]. it will be entirely drawn in MSPAINT with no drawing skills whatsoever

i'm asking $50,000

# ? Aug 29, 2013 18:06

PleasingFungus: Oct 10, 2012; idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off

this seems legit & trustworthy

gonna spray this alll over

no harmful chemicals!

# ? Aug 29, 2013 19:26

BooLoo: Oct 18, 2010; SLAM TIME

Al! posted:

i thought uwe boll films were supposed to be money laundering operations because of some dumb german tax loophole

same poo poo different smell i suppose

# ? Aug 29, 2013 19:27

Adult Sword Owner: Jun 19, 2011; u deserve diploma for sublime comedy expertise

PleasingFungus posted:

this seems legit & trustworthy

gonna spray this alll over

no harmful chemicals!

"Caffeinated Products Currently Suck

They are too expensive, too inconvenient, too filled with calories and questionable ingredients,"

ahaha

# ? Aug 29, 2013 19:28

GameCube: Nov 21, 2006

for best results spray directly up your rear end in a top hat

actually kinda surprised caffeine suppositories aren't a thing, i've definitely heard of butt-chugging coffee

# ? Aug 29, 2013 19:41

Adult Sword Owner: Jun 19, 2011; u deserve diploma for sublime comedy expertise

Werthog 95 posted:

for best results spray directly up your rear end in a top hat

actually kinda surprised caffeine suppositories aren't a thing, i've definitely heard of butt-chugging coffee

probably because you would literally loving die

# ? Aug 29, 2013 19:42

GameCube: Nov 21, 2006

that's never stopped anyone before

# ? Aug 29, 2013 19:47

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# ? May 15, 2024 04:41

hubris.height: Jan 6, 2005; Pork Pro

Dead Inside Darwin posted:

probably because you would literally loving die

maybe that's the intent

suicide by hypertension

# ? Aug 29, 2013 21:15

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > post the most worthless kickstarters and greatest investor rewards you got

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