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cname posted:Don't put ideas in Benny's head. Usually, when an individual displays horrible ineptitude in one area, they make up for it in another. We have a very talented CoffeeScript developer who writes emails containing AIMchat and Leetspeak. Oh don't worry, I already wrote Benny off as a worthless loser over 4 months ago. I'm just reading this thread for the fun of it at this point. I was just commenting on the sad state of college education and how some people can leave it with the bare minimum of communication skills. However, Benny is way below that minimum and I'd almost suggest suing his university for ever letting him graduate, but that puts way too much of the blame on the university when I'm sure the problem is that Benny is just a loser who learned loser habits from his two loser parents who taught him all their loser excuses and vague sentiments that they think makes them not sound like losers.
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Aug 29, 2013 20:21
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OP just seems to have impulsive judgment and the impulses are always wrong. I'll call in with a hangover! I'll like to my coworker about taking a shift! I'll lie to my boss about damaging a car when they know I did it! Let's push send on that email without writing anything in it! Let me question the guy who runs the grill about a minor safety issue on the first day! Do I need your email, job contact? Nope! And we're all left going WHAT WHY WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. How can your instincts be 180 degrees away from where they should be? It's like every time he gets anxious he starts living out Opposite Day.
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Aug 29, 2013 20:27
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Never you mind posted:OP just seems to have impulsive judgment and the impulses are always wrong. I'll call in with a hangover! I'll like to my coworker about taking a shift! I'll lie to my boss about damaging a car when they know I did it! Let's push send on that email without writing anything in it! Let me question the guy who runs the grill about a minor safety issue on the first day! Do I need your email, job contact? Nope! And we're all left going WHAT WHY WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. How can your instincts be 180 degrees away from where they should be? It's like every time he gets anxious he starts living out Opposite Day. Benny should watch that Seinfeld episode where George only follows the opposite of his instincts and lands a super hot girlfriend and a job with the New York Yankees within 2 days.
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Aug 29, 2013 20:39
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Never you mind posted:OP just seems to have impulsive judgment and the impulses are always wrong. I'll call in with a hangover! I'll like to my coworker about taking a shift! I'll lie to my boss about damaging a car when they know I did it! Let's push send on that email without writing anything in it! Let me question the guy who runs the grill about a minor safety issue on the first day! Do I need your email, job contact? Nope! And we're all left going WHAT WHY WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. How can your instincts be 180 degrees away from where they should be? It's like every time he gets anxious he starts living out Opposite Day. The phrase "pants-on-head stupid" takes on a whole new meaning when applied to OP.
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Aug 29, 2013 21:09
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4th Asclepiadean posted:The phrase "pants-on-head stupid" takes on a whole new meaning when applied to OP. But having your pants on your head is a surefire way to make sure you stand out from the crowd of other applicants! 
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Aug 29, 2013 21:31
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Arch Stanton posted:Benny should watch that Seinfeld episode where George only follows the opposite of his instincts and lands a super hot girlfriend and a job with the New York Yankees within 2 days. Hahaha I just saw that episode for like the 15th time yesterday. I can't believe we haven't thought of that advice yet. Benny. Seinfeld. Season 5, episode 22.
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Aug 30, 2013 01:23
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Best case scenario, the thread ends with an overweight, heavily medicated, 60WPM typing, Cal Poly Pomeranian graduate, E/N posting, receptionist with a bachelors of animated pornography & creative writing. How? With a contracted resume, blank email, follow up email and another email to confirm the first two emails. All started from the bottom, crashing carts, tender feet and poorly grilled zucchini. Benny, just get therapy, take your meds and mention "executive functioning" to said therapist.
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Aug 30, 2013 02:11
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I have good news for a change. A local recycling company has contacted me and I've scheduled an interview Tuesday at 10. Hopefully this won't be a dead end.
Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 01:44 on Sep 1, 2013 |
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Sep 1, 2013 00:01
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Please Benny, don't do anything stupid like walk into the interview with your dick hanging out, or provide a list of your favorite Dr. Seuss political cartoons that you've printed out and put into a clear plastic binder.
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Sep 1, 2013 00:16
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Please stop saying weird stuff like "reached out to me" when you mean "contacted me". I am interviewing for an administrative assistant role in my office. The interviews have been really interesting, and the candidates have a variety of skills and backgrounds. There are two with mainly retail experience who are quite strong candidates. Anyway, as I go through this process, I keep thinking of advice to post here, for you, Benny. But I can't quite figure out how to post it in a way that I think you'll understand. Don't turn a phone call or an email from an HR person into a "reaching out". Keep it simple.
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Sep 1, 2013 00:57
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Just caught up with this whole thread and.... well I'm weirded out to say the least. Also I cannot believe some people in this thread suggested that Benny should join the military in order to "man up" or whatever. What, do you want him to blow himself up? Or all the other people in boot camp? I can already see the headlines: Confused Marine Accidently Slaughters Whole Military Base In all seriousness I think the OP should be focused on getting his mental issues sorted out, THEN looking for a job but it's not like he'll read this...
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Sep 1, 2013 15:18
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Tactical Hobo posted:Just caught up with this whole thread and.... well I'm weirded out to say the least. The military thing was closer to the beginning when we all thought Benny was just an inept slacker though, right? A young man who skated through college to a worthless degree and who has spent far too much time in his room reading comic books might be able to be helped with some discipline. Now that we know more about him he is obviously not suitable for the military, since he is on psych medication I don't think he's even eligible.
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Sep 1, 2013 17:14
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What would you be doing at the recycling plant? Sorting recyclables would actually be perfect for you. I'm rooting for this one.
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Sep 1, 2013 18:26
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cname posted:What would you be doing at the recycling plant? Yeah I can just picture the conveyor of garbage flying past him as he overthinks what a glass bottle is made out of
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Sep 1, 2013 18:30
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Shot of Benny desperately cramming old plastic bottles in his mouth as the conveyor belt keeps getting faster and faster.
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Sep 1, 2013 19:26
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cname posted:What would you be doing at the recycling plant?
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Sep 1, 2013 19:33
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Benny the Snake posted:Well I just sent an email asking what the position would be. The guy found my resume off of Monster so I'm going to assume that it's an office job. Typically we find out what the job is before we set up an interview.
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Sep 1, 2013 19:44
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Sigma-X posted:Typically we find out what the job is before we set up an interview. This. Jesus Christ, Benny. What the gently caress?
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Sep 1, 2013 19:54
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Benny the Snake posted:The guy found my resume off of Monster so I'm going to assume that it's an office job. In my experience 9 times out of 10 unsolicited interviews/job offers resulting from someone trawling for resumes on monster/careerbuilder (etc.) aren't going to be anything you're interested in. I would go into the interview expecting it to be for some kind of manual labor position. e: and the other 1 time its something you'd actually want to do, but the pay offered is offensively low. Geoj fucked around with this message at 20:40 on Sep 1, 2013 |
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Sep 1, 2013 20:04
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Sigma-X posted:Typically we find out what the job is before we set up an interview. In the current economic climate I can see the actual content of the job taking secondary status to getting the job. That assumes unskilled work which is obviously the case here.
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Sep 1, 2013 20:20
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I just dont understand how an interview is scheduled, and Benny doesn't think to ask about what the position is until afterwards. Like, as an afterthought.
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Sep 1, 2013 20:23
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Namarrgon posted:In the current economic climate I can see the actual content of the job taking secondary status to getting the job. I agree in theory, but Benny here thinks this is clerical work which is certainly inconsistent with everyone else's expectations.
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Sep 1, 2013 20:30
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Eris posted:I just dont understand how an interview is scheduled, and Benny doesn't think to ask about what the position is until afterwards. Like, as an afterthought. Given his definition of "a foot in the door", I wouldn't be surprised if "an interview scheduled" actually means "they'll call me about an interview", because he's taking everyone at their literal word instead of reading into the actual meaning of "I'm never going to talk to this guy again so tell him I'll call him in a couple weeks and 'lose' his number". I mean, how many bosses has he had that have, in his general words, "fired me but really liked me and told me they'd call me back as soon as another position opened up"? I think it's 2 actual bosses, and the same general phrase from 3 or 4 other places at the very least that have, surprise, never gotten back to him. But hope springs eternal. Maybe this one actually will call you back!
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Sep 1, 2013 20:31
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cname posted:What would you be doing at the recycling plant? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mClfU2NStY Yep.
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Sep 1, 2013 20:34
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I know someone that Benny reminds me of. An acquaintance of mine is very charismatic but utterly incompetent. I'm talking about IQ in the 60-70 range incompetent. He gets jobs quickly and usually gets some form of management position incredibly quickly. Then it shines through that he is utterly incompetent and despite his charm eventually gets fired. But not after blowing through all the money he earns in a month in about 2 hours. Unfortunately he is incapable of understanding why this keeps happening. It is tragic more than anything really.
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Sep 1, 2013 20:35
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Yeah, Benny seems very charismatic.
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Sep 1, 2013 20:37
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juche mane posted:Yeah, Benny seems very charismatic. Well E/N routinely sees people who have gone much longer times without getting interviews or jobs. It is quite conceivable he is doing something right. Half the fun is deciphering this unreliable narrator puzzle. Also 'reminds me of' does not equal 'is'.
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Sep 1, 2013 20:39
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Benny the Snake posted:Well I just sent an email asking what the position would be. The guy found my resume off of Monster so I'm going to assume that it's an office job. It's a holiday weekend, so he likely will not be checking his work email until Tuesday morning, just before your interview. How did he contact you for the interview initially? Did he call you or email you? Why didn't you ask then?
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Sep 2, 2013 01:09
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lexan posted:It's a holiday weekend, so he likely will not be checking his work email until Tuesday morning, just before your interview. How did he contact you for the interview initially? Did he call you or email you? Why didn't you ask then?
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Sep 2, 2013 01:36
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Benny the Snake posted:He contacted me through e-mail. I didn't ask because the guy spoke very broken English. English isn't his first language and I have relatives who are like that as well. It'll be much easier for me to talk to him in person as opposed over the phone. oh christ e: Benny, the odds of a company that has a hiring manager who can't communicate effectively in the predominant language of the country being a job you want to work at is basically nil. Let us know when he cuts you your first paycheck early, but it has too much and he wants you to cash it and bring back the remainder. Probably after mysteriously canceling whatever interview because "you seem like a great guy, we don't need any paperwork, you're hired". I've had plenty of coworkers, bosses, and supervisors who were ESL at varying levels of comprehension, but never, ever HR. Alliterate Addict fucked around with this message at 01:47 on Sep 2, 2013 |
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Sep 2, 2013 01:39
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Benny the Snake posted:He contacted me through e-mail. I didn't ask because the guy spoke very broken English. English isn't his first language and I have relatives who are like that as well. It'll be much easier for me to talk to him in person as opposed over the phone. Did he say that the lord directed him to you and that he believes you are an honorable man capable of handling this matter with the utmost discretion and confidentiality?
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Sep 2, 2013 01:42
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Ursine Asylum posted:oh christ As we recall from the earlier adventures of Benny, he lost a job packing things into boxes because the not-fluent-in-English supervisor couldn't manage to get him to understand how to pack things into boxes correctly. Let us hope that he doesn't lose an appendage at the recycling center. Benny, is this an Erik Estrada situation where people offer you jobs under the misapprehension that you can speak Spanish and English? Of course, Erik Estrada learned Spanish and became a telenovela star, but. AlbieQuirky fucked around with this message at 02:44 on Sep 2, 2013 |
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Sep 2, 2013 02:41
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Good news. I have an interview tomorrow at 2 for a cashier position at a local retailer. I feel so nervous now.
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Sep 3, 2013 00:59
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Go get that poo poo, shake it like it's hot. Aspire to true cashier greatness, take your meds y nunca pares de blog de tus pelis.
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Sep 3, 2013 01:27
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Underpants under the pants. And good luck.
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Sep 3, 2013 01:45
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I think you'd do better sorting rubbish, but good luck on the cashier call back. I thought you were in the U.S. so they called you on labor day?
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Sep 3, 2013 02:30
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Labor day off for retail? Haha good one !!!Retail typically won't close for anything short of a nuclear war. Even then, I'm sure there would be someone wondering where all the workers are.
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Sep 3, 2013 03:24
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Okay I just got back from the interview with the recycling company. It's a local company which specializes in e-waste. In fact, my interviewer had a few computer parts on his desk. It's an office position, Monday through Friday part-time, and it pays $12 an hour. I just sent him a brief thank-you letter via e-mail for interviewing me. He definitely has an accent and spoke in broken English. That shouldn't be too big of a problem though, I hope.
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Sep 3, 2013 21:21
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Benny the Snake posted:Okay I just got back from the interview with the recycling company. It's a local company which specializes in e-waste. In fact, my interviewer had a few computer parts on his desk. It's an office position, Monday through Friday part-time, and it pays $12 an hour. I just sent him a brief thank-you letter via e-mail for interviewing me. He definitely has an accent and spoke in broken English. That shouldn't be too big of a problem though, I hope. How much Mary Kay product do you have to buy to start your operation?
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Sep 3, 2013 22:04
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Benny the Snake posted:e-waste OP I just found you a new username
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Sep 3, 2013 22:25
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