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Maybe you need to add a multivitamin to your diet? Also, you might want to consider pumping to keep up supply and supplementing with formula to see if it helps. If it doesn't, then you know it isn't an allergy and all this talk about plain steamed veg and chicken would have been for nothing.
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Sep 18, 2013 18:44
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hookerbot 5000 posted:If you follow the diet but the problem is still there then maybe the diet is wrong? From what I can tell, the diet helped the problem (it was much more frequent and apparent previously?). So I understand her hesitation in adding anything back now, but this is apart of the process. You have to make sure everything which causes the problem is gone, before you can start the process of determining what thing or combination of things are causing the problem. A SPECIAL UNICORN posted:Also, you might want to consider pumping to keep up supply and supplementing with formula to see if it helps. If it doesn't, then you know it isn't an allergy and all this talk about plain steamed veg and chicken would have been for nothing. There's been a few people who have suggested this, and I think it's a decent idea as well.
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Sep 18, 2013 18:44
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I have to follow a really low fat diet for medical reasons so I understand trying to get enough calories/not feel hungry since breastfeeding makes me more hungry than I've ever been in my life. Basically I snack on stuff I can through the day and am able to feel full and satisfied. I know you said you have limited access to food right now and the local grocery store probably doesn't stock a lot of dairy or soy free snacks, so if it's feasible with moving soon you could try searching Amazon for allegern-free easy snacks if you're burnt out on fruits and vegetables (maybe with one day shipping?) My son will be almost 7 months old at Halloween but I still want to dress him up. I need something stroller friendly since I'll probably just roll him around the mall where they're having activities for kids that day. I saw a super cute shark costume (we call him our little shark since he got his first two teeth) but it has a giant fin on the back, so he wouldn't fit in the stroller with that. An Cat Dubh fucked around with this message at 18:51 on Sep 18, 2013 |
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Sep 18, 2013 18:48
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Rurutia posted:I'm not judging you or trying to say you're an idiot. I've been following your posts all day and I feel like I have just started to understand what your actual issue is. I'm trying to understand what's going on because you have said multiple times people aren't being helpful and quite frankly I don't know how to be helpful if I'm not seeing the whole picture. I like people asking for details, but some people have been a little judgmental because I want to avoid formula, or assuming I am so stupid I don't know how to eat a vegetable. Rurutia posted:Feeling hungry and irritable implies a deficiency somewhere that you're not getting. I'm not sure what else you've had to cut out of your diet auxiliary to having to cut out milk or soy but it might be useful to look into getting them elsewhere. Another thing is, it is very important in an elimination diet for you to get to a point where you see no blood in his stool, so you can start adding foods back in and try to lower the number of foods you're eliminating as much as possible. So cutting out eggs is going to be hard on top of the milk and soy, but it really may be worth it in the long run. The doctor did not suggest any other eliminations. For now I will stop eating whole eggs and mayo, but I'll do the full ingredient list scouring for egg and egg byproducts if that doesn't work, when I have more space and time in a couple of weeks. Frankly though, it could be anything. I eat a lot of nuts, a lot of wheat. Who knows? Rurutia posted:One thing I will say though, is that I would ask your husband to eat what you eat. By asking him to cook the meals etc, he would do this naturally. But he needs to take on some of this burden. Why should he have to suffer? He does cook with me and eat with me most of the time. The takeaway I mention was the first day we moved to the sublet - we literally had nothing in the fridge and no energy to cook.
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Sep 18, 2013 18:49
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An Cat Dubh posted:I have to follow a really low fat diet for medical reasons so I understand trying to get enough calories/not feel hungry since breastfeeding makes me more hungry than I've ever been in my life. Basically I snack on stuff I can through the day and am able to feel full and satisfied. I know you said you have limited access to food right now and the local grocery store probably doesn't stock a lot of dairy or soy free snacks, so if it's feasible with moving soon you could try searching Amazon for allegern-free easy snacks you're burnt out on fruits and vegetables (maybe with one day shipping?) We can't get deliveries at this crappy sublet or else it would be easy. I snack on trail mix, but if the baby's problem turns out to be nuts, this could be a bad idea. I'm so glad I don't have to eat low fat, fatty meat is the only thing I can eat with confidence that doesn't make me feel hungry. Poor you 
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Sep 18, 2013 18:53
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I don't understand. It's an elimination diet, but your doctor did not suggest any more eliminations when you said the problem was still there before suggesting full-bore formula? That seems odd. Anyways, the reason why people kept suggesting you go straight down to just rice/veggies is precisely because: DwemerCog posted:Frankly though, it could be anything. I eat a lot of nuts, a lot of wheat. Who knows? The deducing part of an elimination diet actually comes from adding things back in one by one. I don't think anyone's trying to force you to suffer, but I think there is confusion about what is going on with the way the elimination diet has been suggested/implemented. DwemerCog posted:Why should he have to suffer? He does cook with me and eat with me most of the time. The takeaway I mention was the first day we moved to the sublet - we literally had nothing in the fridge and no energy to cook. Because as you said, it makes you even more miserable. You're doing this for his child as well. I just know, when it was my SO, he wouldn't even think of putting food like that in front of me. If you're not comfortable with this then don't ask for it. I just want you to know that I don't think it's something unreasonable to ask for.
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Sep 18, 2013 18:55
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Rurutia posted:I don't understand. It's an elimination diet, but your doctor did not suggest any more eliminations when you said the problem was still there before suggesting full-bore formula? That seems odd. Probably because I said it was hard, so he assumed I was a wuss. I am not a wuss I am a moaner 
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Sep 18, 2013 18:57
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He isn't going to suffer if he doesn't get to eat chinese food. Your kid is the one suffering, and he should be sympathetic to you and not eat that poo poo in front of you. No-one wants you or your baby to suffer, but man- you are making giving advice really difficult. You either have to eliminate items, even if it means going down to rice, chicken and veg, or you need to supplement with formula. If you want to avoid formula, then elimination is the only way. It doesn't have to be boring and bland. Instead of stocking up your spices in a couple of weeks, grab a couple of tubs now and get experimenting. Search recipe sites for exciting ways to make it more interesting. It will be short term anyway, just so you can see what's causing the problem.
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Sep 18, 2013 18:58
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Goddamn if it's causing that much turmoil and drama just use formula. I mean honestly.
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Sep 18, 2013 19:01
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My husband basically goes out with his friends at lunchtime and has whatever lovely food he wants that I can't eat specifically so that he doesn't eat it in front of me. It's not that big of a thing to ask of him.
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Sep 18, 2013 19:04
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A SPECIAL UNICORN posted:No-one wants you or your baby to suffer, but man- you are making giving advice really difficult. You either have to eliminate items, even if it means going down to rice, chicken and veg, or you need to supplement with formula. If you want to avoid formula, then elimination is the only way. It doesn't have to be boring and bland. Instead of stocking up your spices in a couple of weeks, grab a couple of tubs now and get experimenting. Search recipe sites for exciting ways to make it more interesting. It will be short term anyway, just so you can see what's causing the problem. Things are difficult. That's why I am trying to get advice. If things were easy I would not ask for advice from the internet. Being hungry also makes it hard for me to think logically. I'm not sure I have the willpower to eat rice and vegetables for a month, and I'm not sure it would be a good idea. My breastmilk is made of what I eat. If it doesn't clear up I will ask the pediatrician if this is a good idea (internet medical advice and all.) I can't stock up on spices. I threw away my spices, my husband got tired of carrying them between sublets. That makes him sound bad but he is really not. I've cut my possessions to the bone. This is the third sublet. It's very tiring moving all our stuff. Two more weeks and we have our own home and can buy as many spices as we like. I do have some spices and use them, but they don't fill you up. DwemerCog fucked around with this message at 19:11 on Sep 18, 2013 |
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Sep 18, 2013 19:08
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AlastairCookie posted:Anyone else's little kids fly off the goddamn handle? Should I handle this differently? Because I am living the definition of insanity over here. First, don't deny his feelings or tell him he's wrong for feeling them. Right or wrong, appropriate or not, they are his feelings and they are legit. And at five its not like he can just stop being angry. (Hell, most adults can't just stop being angry). Acknowledge the anger, separate it from the behavior you wish to change. After all its not the anger that's the problem its the way he's expressing it. 'I see that you're angry about not being allowed to go downstairs and help daddy RIGHT NOW. I know how much you like to do it and how hard it is to wait. It must be frustrating.' He ramps it up because he doesn't feel you're listening to him or feels you're dismissing his feelings. Tell him you hear him. Acknowledge the legitimacy of his feelings. Feeling the feelings you feel is ok. What's not okay is acting inappropriately because of those feelings. Once you've let him know you hear and sympathize with how he's feeling is the time to tell him how it is. 'But if we don't eat dinner we won't have the energy our bodies need to do fun stuff like help Daddy put up the drywall. I don't want you to be too tired or hungry to not be able to do that. So let's eat first so we make sure we can show Daddy just how good at putting up the drywall you are. What do you want to eat first?' You're giving him reasons why you want him to eat first that make sense to his five year old mind (and help him do well in something he wants to do). Note especially the last part: you are giving him power to make a choice (and redirecting some of that will to a place you want it exercised). Putting the power, even just a little power like what to eat first, back in his hands will help him feel like there's something within his control, so even if he doesn't get to do what he wants right that minute, he's still getting to decide SOMETHING for himself. Just make sure the choices are all ones you can live with, so if you're not okay with him answering 'dessert' don't give him the option to choose it or the illusion of control is shattered and you're right back where you started.
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Sep 18, 2013 19:12
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DwemerCog posted:
You can eat fish and meat? It won't be JUST rice and veggies.
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Sep 18, 2013 19:21
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Twatty Seahag posted:Goddamn if it's causing that much turmoil and drama just use formula. I mean honestly. When I first started breastfeeding I was all "Eh, if it works out I'll do it, if not, formula, what's the big deal?" but now I really like it. It's very warm and loving and I'm sure it is better than formula which is largely corn syrup (THE DEVIL if you believe the dietary discussion threads on this forum.) I'm also feeling contrary, because ever since I started, everyone has told me I'll never manage it, and that it is too hard. It's not really causing any drama in my real life, unless you mean drama at restaurants trying to grill waiters about soy oil.
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Sep 18, 2013 19:26
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You don't want advice about formula, you don't like the advice about food allergies, you don't want advice about meal planning in hard circumstances. You just want to keep doing what you're doing. So what do you want us to say?
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Sep 18, 2013 19:44
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DwemerCog posted:When I first started breastfeeding I was all "Eh, if it works out I'll do it, if not, formula, what's the big deal?" but now I really like it. It's very warm and loving and I'm sure it is better than formula which is largely corn syrup (THE DEVIL if you believe the dietary discussion threads on this forum.) I'm also feeling contrary, because ever since I started, everyone has told me I'll never manage it, and that it is too hard. It's not really causing any drama in my real life, unless you mean drama at restaurants trying to grill waiters about soy oil. Your constant advice dodging and overall lack of concessions to implementing rational solutions are strong arguments that your MO is being a complacent twat that wants pats on the back for just acknowledging your diet/breastfeeding woes and special snowflake status. Stigmatizing formula feeding in the process is mighty unappreciated as well. If you're looking for more sycophants than empirically useful information, have you surfed on over to Babycenter yet?
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Sep 18, 2013 20:23
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DwemerCog posted:I'm not sure I have the willpower to eat rice and vegetables for a month, and I'm not sure it would be a good idea. My breastmilk is made of what I eat. If it doesn't clear up I will ask the pediatrician if this is a good idea (internet medical advice and all.) There's BLOOD in your infant's poop, jesus loving christ. Harden the gently caress up. "Hmm continual internal bleeding in my infant versus temporarily eating bland food, I just don't know, this is a tough choice".
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Sep 18, 2013 20:46
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Does anyone have any tips on getting Sudocream out of hair? Or carpets for that matter.
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Sep 18, 2013 20:58
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hookerbot 5000 posted:Does anyone have any tips on getting Sudocream out of hair? Or carpets for that matter. Hahaha oh my god. When the kid I babysit for decided diaper cream was sunscreen and smeared it all over himself, I ended up wiping him down with a washcloth soaked in olive oil before bathing him. The oil seemed to cut through the cream which was persistently resisting water and soap. Not sure if it would work for that exact cream (and he was quite bald at the time so hair was not an issue) but it's worth a shot? No idea about the carpet, good luck!
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Sep 18, 2013 21:01
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hookerbot 5000 posted:Does anyone have any tips on getting Sudocream out of hair? Or carpets for that matter. Bhahaha!! This is fabulous. I mean, not for you, but such a funny picture. Maybe try baby wipes? When I slather diaper cream on V's butt at night, I wipe my hands with a wipe which seems to work better than soap and water. And I agree with olive/coconut/baby oil. Will probably help cut through everything.
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Sep 18, 2013 21:07
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DwemerCog posted:I'm also feeling contrary, because ever since I started, everyone has told me I'll never manage it, and that it is too hard. Except you're in here whining about how hard it is and how you can't manage to do anything more than dairy or soy elimination? Either you do what you need to make breastfeeding work or you give up and switch to formula, it's that simple. You are running around in circles trying to justify letting your baby poo blood because changing things is effort.
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Sep 18, 2013 21:10
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Papercut posted:There's BLOOD in your infant's poop, jesus loving christ. Harden the gently caress up. I DO EAT THE loving FOOD. I am RIGHT NOW eating food with no dairy and soy. It is not bland. (potato chips + hummus). Nice to know you guys know more than my daughter's pediatrician, who was not overly concerned. Thanks Doctor Internet. There's every chance I just slipped up and ate food with milk in it by accident. OK, let's get over this whole topic, ignore me, go back to appreciating the baby covered in Sudocrem. Lyz posted:Except you're in here whining about how hard it is and how you can't manage to do anything more than dairy or soy elimination? Jesus Christ, I just gave up eggs on you guy's say so, what more do you want? (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Sep 18, 2013 21:15
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Dude, you came here asking for advice. If you don't want it from people who have been there and done that, then why did you ask? Sometimes dairy and soy are not the only thing kids are sensitive to. It's highly possible that if you're eating restaurant food regularly, something slipped by. I know people who've asked restaurant servers if a dish was dairy free and it came with a slathering of butter because "oh, butter is dairy?" Restaurant workers are not going to be as artful about this as you'd like. HOWEVER, if you are 100% certain that your diet has been strict with regards to dairy and soy, there's likely another culprit and the quickest way to determine what it is, is to do an elimination diet. Meat, veggies, rice, and then add in a new ingredient to see if a reaction happens. If you can't or won't do that, then formula is an appropriate option for a baby that is bleeding from the inside.
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Sep 18, 2013 21:24
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Silly Hippie posted:Hahaha oh my god. When the kid I babysit for decided diaper cream was sunscreen and smeared it all over himself, I ended up wiping him down with a washcloth soaked in olive oil before bathing him. The oil seemed to cut through the cream which was persistently resisting water and soap. Not sure if it would work for that exact cream (and he was quite bald at the time so hair was not an issue) but it's worth a shot? No idea about the carpet, good luck! frenchnewwave posted:Bhahaha!! This is fabulous. I mean, not for you, but such a funny picture. Maybe try baby wipes? When I slather diaper cream on V's butt at night, I wipe my hands with a wipe which seems to work better than soap and water. And I agree with olive/coconut/baby oil. Will probably help cut through everything. Olive oil sounds like a plan - so far I've tried normal shampoo, soap free-shampoo, medicated shampoo and handwash and his hair is still grey and oily. Think might get a steam cleaner and try that for the carpet.
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Sep 18, 2013 21:26
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Chickalicious posted:I know people who've asked restaurant servers if a dish was dairy free and it came with a slathering of butter because "oh, butter is dairy?" THIS. And even people who are supposed to be educated on food allergies still gently caress up. My preschooler is very allergic to ALL dairy products. I went over that with her teacher, the aides, brought in her epi pen, wrote a list of foods she could have etc. She came home on the first day of school with hives and a tummy ache. Why? Cause they fed her goldfish crackers. When I lost my poo poo and went down there they were completely confused, they thought cheese crackers weren't dairy.... /facepalm. Thanks to advice I got from the goon collective, I always pack her own snacks/lunch/food everywhere we go. I don't trust servers or teachers or anyone else to be accountable for my child's safety. That being said, when she was a baby and on breast milk, we had no idea what she was allergic to and after almost a month of her screaming in agony, puking and spitting up, the horrible stools and terrible tummy aches, we finally gave up and switched her to a organic, dairy free formula. Yes it was slight soul crushing to know my milk had something in it that was hurting her and I had to rely on formula, but you know what? Her health and comfort mattered more to me than my breastfeeding ego. And surprise! She perked right up, gained weight, and stopped screaming in pain hours upon hours. What I'm saying is, sometimes we want to do everything we can to give our kids the BEST, but sometimes that means swallowing our pride, doing what's hard, and doing the next best thing. Not pulling the classic "goon in the well" when people who have been through it are trying to help you. If you don't want to take advice then that's cool, just move along with your grain of salt gained. (fake ETA: it is very very possible to eat an elimination diet and feel full, and do so on a extreme budget with limited kitchen gear. I've done it, twice.)
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Sep 18, 2013 21:37
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On Halloween talk: we haven't decided what were dressing C as yet. We've been searching yard sale sites and goodwill, cause I'm not paying a ton of money for something he's only going to wear once. We're going to probably the mall kid get together and the local fairy tale land that's doing 'safe trick or treating'. I'm excited to finally have enough of an excuse to celebrate the holidays So, since Cs now 7 months, we have a good amount of toys. Not drowning in them, but enough we need some place to store them. We're in a one bedroom apartment until next year, so I'm extremely limited on space. Any suggestions?
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Sep 18, 2013 22:00
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Lullabee posted:On Halloween talk: we haven't decided what were dressing C as yet. We've been searching yard sale sites and goodwill, cause I'm not paying a ton of money for something he's only going to wear once. We're going to probably the mall kid get together and the local fairy tale land that's doing 'safe trick or treating'. I'm excited to finally have enough of an excuse to celebrate the holidays Vertical storage? We have those weird, cube Ikea book shelves that we put ikea cloth bins in. One shelf has room for 8 big cubes, and right now my 13 month old is really enjoying pulling the bottom two out, emptying the toys out of them and refilling them. You can also move the cubes around for some variety since they start to get bored with the same toys after a bit. Mini vent on teething: my daughter is getting her bottom eye teeth right now, and is having the standard teething diarrhea that she's had with every round of teeth so far. This wouldn't be so bad except she recently decided that she hates pants, diapers and flips out every time you try and change either of those things. Nothing seems to be hurting her beyond some mild diaper rash, which she didn't have when she suddenly decided that pants are for squares. I'd forego the pants entirely but she's figured out how to take off her diaper if she's not wearing them. She will also seek and destroy diapers from the diaper bag or supply chest if we forget to close them. Her sleep has also gone to crap after a month of actually sleeping through the night and she will not go back to sleep of she wakes up. Won't take food, will throw her lovey on the floor and generally rage out for HOURS unless we give in. The second we put her in bed with us, happy as a clam, asleep in seconds. I was juuuust getting over being a zombie, and while she is sleeping well, I am not because she is super mobile and spends the entire night trying to cuddle with me, which essentially means pulling my hair, kicking me and periodically jabbing me in the eyes while shouting 'eyes' to wake me up for undetermined "reasons"--she goes right back to sleep as soon as I acknowledge that having tiny fingers jammed in my eyeballs hurts. :/ Please, teeth, come in already.
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Sep 18, 2013 22:26
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quote:It's very warm and loving and I'm sure it is better than formula which is largely corn syrup (THE DEVIL if you believe the dietary discussion threads on this forum.) I feel like I should say something after the last rounds of posts. I'm not giving advice to someone who won't take it, instead I'm going to say something to other people who may be struggling with breastfeeding, either because of your diet, the baby's diet, allergies or anything else. There is nothing wrong with giving your baby formula if that's what's best for both you and the babies' well being. Again, there is nothing wrong with giving your baby formula if it will keep you and them happy and healthy. It will not poison them with chemicals or fructose or whatever other poo poo you find on natural news and other stupid websites, it will not make them dumb or delay development. TO say otherwise or to look down on the parents who do so is nothing more than playing at being the most bestest elitist hippy mom on the block. Parenting is not a competition, you do not need to prove how hardcore you are. Nor do you have to feel ashamed by some rear end in a top hat saying you are some how lesser than she is for daring to give your baby a replacement for breast milk.
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Sep 18, 2013 22:35
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/\ Thank you for that.  Old Navy has some incredibly cute costumes for toddlers and infants, and they're never more than $20 brand new. http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/category.do?cid=98187&mlink=51375,6912188,DP_Major_Baby&clink=6912188 Just look at that flower. Another thing you can do if you're more of the practical mindset is to buy costumey pajamas instead of a costume. Then they won't just get worn once. http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=98530&vid=1&pid=650722002 I have to say though if your town is like mine you have opportunities to wear that costume all month long. Pumpkin patch visits, parties, playgroups, fairs - we never just wear it on the day.
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Sep 18, 2013 22:56
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I am super not-crafty, but I made K's lion costume last year and I think it's pretty easy to do. You just find appropriately colored jammies (or not, if your baby will have to wear a jacket anyways) and make a hat to go on top. I cut a triangle out of an old orange t-shirt, cut out some longer bits and sewed them on so it'd stay on his head, and then sewed and cut up some old cloth napkins we never used. Manes are kind of wild anyways, so uneven bits were almost a bonus. To get the mane to look a little better, I soaked it and ran it through the dryer a few times and it curled right up.
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Sep 18, 2013 23:13
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Last year, I found an awesome dinosaur costume at the local Goodwill for $6, and my kid still fits in it so he's wearing it again this year. My daughter will be wearing the cow jacket I found for $5. I will wear a hat covered in dangly eyeballs that was purchased for $10. Thrift stores are the best!
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Sep 19, 2013 00:02
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raaaan posted:Her sleep has also gone to crap after a month of actually sleeping through the night and she will not go back to sleep of she wakes up. Won't take food, will throw her lovey on the floor and generally rage out for HOURS unless we give in. The second we put her in bed with us, happy as a clam, asleep in seconds. I was juuuust getting over being a zombie, and while she is sleeping well, I am not because she is super mobile and spends the entire night trying to cuddle with me, which essentially means pulling my hair, kicking me and periodically jabbing me in the eyes while shouting 'eyes' to wake me up for undetermined "reasons"--she goes right back to sleep as soon as I acknowledge that having tiny fingers jammed in my eyeballs hurts. :/ When Alex comes into our bed, I've found that rolling over and facing away from her works best. If she can see my face, she gives me punches in the nose, etc. Not great if your little one is pulling hair though, I suppose.
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Sep 19, 2013 00:10
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VorpalBunny posted:Last year, I found an awesome dinosaur costume at the local Goodwill for $6, and my kid still fits in it so he's wearing it again this year. My daughter will be wearing the cow jacket I found for $5. I will wear a hat covered in dangly eyeballs that was purchased for $10. Thrift stores are the best! Yeah, this is why we're going goodwill way. Lots of baby costumes for $5-6. Heck, I've found a toy I've been searching for ($15 brand new, $5+ used) for $3 in great 'doesn't even look used' condition.
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Sep 19, 2013 01:14
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I know there's been a few other parents with kids who have an ASD diagnosis. We're going in for the first part of an evaluation tomorrow (after a significant delay, I needed a court order since his dad wasn't giving consent), and a conversation today made me realize that his dad is building a "case" against a diagnosis (yeah....) He's also sent emails to the professionals currently working with our son that this is a "private family matter" and he's telling them not to be a part of the process, which has gone over AWESOME with them. I guess my question for anyone who has been through this is how much to the diagnosticians rely on their own observations, and how much on what the parents report? For example, if our son is flapping his hands, his dad says he taught him that for when he has a question (nevermind that we have no sentences...), or if he's walking backwards, it's because he taught him to moonwalk  Also, I'm a little worried that he's going to alienate the professionals we're already working with, and I'm trying not to make any comments about him being an idiot, because if they don't like him, they aren't going to like working with him, and I'm really trying hard to get him on board and get over his "AIN'T NUTHIN WRONG WITH MA SON JUST YOUR BOOK LERNIN'..." thing he has going on.It's so odd, because he keeps repeating this whole, "He's so smart!" line, and yeah, our kid does some pretty smart things, but I can't seem to make him understand that ASDs and cognitive impairment/global delays are two separate things. Kubricize posted:It will not poison them with chemicals or fructose or whatever other poo poo you find on natural news and other stupid websites, it will not make them dumb or delay development. TO say otherwise or to look down on the parents who do so is nothing more than playing at being the most bestest elitist hippy mom on the block. Parenting is not a competition, you do not need to prove how hardcore you are. Nor do you have to feel ashamed by some rear end in a top hat saying you are some how lesser than she is for daring to give your baby a replacement for breast milk. This needs to be on pretty much every parenting forum out there. hookerbot 5000 posted:Does anyone have any tips on getting Sudocream out of hair? Or carpets for that matter. My kid does this with vaseline at every opportunity. Creams in general, but vaseline is a particular favourite. At least with the vaseline, dish soap seems to work the best for hair.
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Sep 19, 2013 02:12
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Thanks, Oracle. Tim does not buy into the choice between A and B bit anymore--I've been doing that since he was very little, and lately he has stopped responding positively. It used to work (it works for Liam), but now Tim will tell me he doesn't want those choices, after much verbal finagling that a lawyer would be proud of to try and get whatever he actually wants. Or he'll give me a "choice" in response (those are never good.) Like giving me the "choice" of doing what he wants, or he'll be ANGRY some more. I am a believer in the philosophy, however, and I've been trying to step up my game in that department. I try explaining priorities. Like breakfast, every loving morning this week:  : We need breakfast to have a good morning at school. Good breakfast makes good listeners and happy friends. Can't have fun if you're hungry. Pick a food and eat it quickly, then you'll have time to play before the microwave beeps. (To signal it's time to get dressed. I use the timer approach for lots of things.) If you take too long, there's no time to play. : I'm busy with my dinos. I can have fun if I'm hungry. I don't get hungry at school. (Runs off) : Tim come back here. First eat, then play. Do you want cereal or eggs? Remember yesterday? We talked about this.: I SAID, I'm busy!: Remember yesterday when I picked you up and you were angry I didn't have a snack in my bag for you because you were so hungry? You only ate two bites of granola bar for breakfast yesterday. We eat breakfast before school. First eat, then play. No eat, no play.And so it takes 20 minutes to agree to a food, and another 20 to eat said food, plus more yelling about how he doesn't want eggs anymore and changed his mind, then he gets dressed with no playtime left and is ANGRY some more. Liam, OTOH, shovels a bowl of cereal down in 5 minutes and spends the rest of the before-school morning scampering around, doing his usual Liam nonsense. The two year old is easier to get ready. It is absolutely a problem of [mine/with me] teaching him how to better express/work through his emotions. Actually, it's two problems. Working through his emotions when he's being recalcitrant with me when he needs to cooperate and do what I've asked, and working through his own frustrations when toys/Liam/playing isn't going exactly how he wants. I think they're different, now that I'm typing about it. I try to get him to stop and think, and verbally talk him through a positive thought process: "I can see the blocks aren't staying together how you want them to; it is frustrating when things don't work out how we want. Take a breath. Stop and think. Does screaming at the blocks make them work? Would you like help? Is there another way to build them? Do you want to take a break and do something else?" With me, down on his level, speaking calmly, waiting for any sort of answer. This type of exchange is usually met with something along the lines of "I don't want to take a breath!!! I just want the stupid blocks to do WHAT I WAAAAAANNNNT!!!" screeched at my face. Take. A. Break. Tim. At least half the time, he keeps up the screaming, stomping BS for way too long and I send him to his room "until he feels better." He sets Liam off, and I'm not going to have him yelling and throwing poo poo around the playroom. We talk later about how Mommy is here to help you, trying to help you, how screaming never helps anything, how we need to take breaths and take breaks when we feel angry, use words, etc. but I have no idea what sinks in. His emotions are so close to the surface. I've never told him his feelings are wrong, but I'm sure I can work harder at acknowledging them more explicitly. I will start every single exchange that way from now on. I feel like I need a drink and a helmet some days. Goddammit Tim, Mommy loves you and just wants you to be happy. Just cooperate more, please.
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Sep 19, 2013 02:57
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dreamcatcherkwe posted:My 8-year-old is going to be Sonic the Hedgehog, my 6-year-old will be some Skylanders dude (Trigger Happy), and my 3-year-old is going to be a princess or a dinosaur, depending on what she decides that day. My daughter went as a Princess dinosaur last Halloween! Super easy costume too. We got a dinosaur costume, paired it with a super princessy tu tu and a crown. Ta daaaaa! Princess Dinosaur ROAR
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Sep 19, 2013 05:15
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AlistairCookie posted:
Don't have much for you on the eating front because my kids have given me a whole new understanding of "Eating me out of house and home!" Seriously they eat like I don't feed them! As for the rest? I admit I have not tried this yet. My son's teacher actually suggested this and right now I am in search of... a puppet. Yes. A puppet. Apparently, we hope, there will come a time when we will be able to talk one on one honestly and openly, with our beloved children. That time is not now. Go get a puppet, or make one, and have that puppet be a medium for your true message. If little Billy is having a problem playing nicely with his blocks? Mommy try's to teach him but he is SO frustrated! But WAIt! Billy Boo Bixbie the puppet will be having an even worse time! All of a sudden Billy will try to help Billy Boo Bixbie with his blocks and may even try to calm him down. Kids like to help! Let them! It makes them feel in control. We'll see. I'm going to convert an old teddy bear into a puppet tomorrow and try this. If any one else does it let me know how it goes!
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Sep 19, 2013 05:57
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Are there any (immediate) negative consequences to not caring about what you say? Developmentally, he might just not be able to get that it's going to suck if he doesn't have breakfast, so arguing with him like an adult may just not help at all. Don't forget, he's still a child who literally doesn't think the same way that adults do yet. Your kid is giving you ultimatums, so you might want to turn this on its head. "You can eat breakfast, or you can sit in time out, and if you give me sass I'm just going to send you to your room." might be an effective tactic to at least try.
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Sep 19, 2013 12:36
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/\/\I don't think at all that Tim is capable of grasping no breakfast=hunger=crappy morning. That's why I press the issue every school morning. When he gets a bit older, he can make the choice to not eat if he wants and figure it out. If there's not a natural consequence to not cooperating, then he gets a time out in the chair, or goes to his room if he starts turning it up to eleven. I wave back and forth between "Do this, or time out. No discussion. No attitude." and trying to give an [brief, simple] explanation for why he needs to do whatever. I guess I get weary of feeling like an rear end in a top hat and think, "He's bright. If he understands why, maybe that will help." And maybe it does sometimes; I've been thinking and I'm going to start to pay close attention to the circumstances when he does cooperate and see if there's any consistent commonality. How did I phrase it? What time of day was it? Was Liam immediately around? Just to throw this out there, I am really conscientious about keeping the kids well rested and well fed (I mean mostly good foods, minimal junk). I do not at all think that it is reasonable to expect good behavior out of a kid if they are hungry or tired, so if he's had a couple later bedtimes in a row, or has woken up early a couple days in a row, I keep that in mind and have a bit more patience. I might respond to an outburst by asking if he needs a hug or a cuddle instead of a reprimand. Maybe I should just try that more often in general. It's hard to be five.  I don't mean to dump on my kid (I actually felt bad last night; I love him so much.) He doesn't act like an rear end every waking moment or anything, and is really funny and sweet. And we finally had a better morning today, so there was that. He ate, and got dressed, and was able to play Angry Birds for a little while because he didn't dick around so much. I just feel so responsible when a situation goes wrong because I'm 34 and he's only 5 for crap's sake; I set the tone, albeit poorly sometimes.
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Sep 19, 2013 17:30
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My son has ASD so it might not work with a neurotypical kid, but we use a visual schedule for mornings and it cuts out the fighting like magic. He has a chart with what is going to happen in the morning (go pee, pet the cat, breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth & hair, socks & shoes, backpack). For us it takes the arguing out of the morning ("I'm not hugry/I don't have to pee"). I wouldn't use it for everything but if you find yourself having the same fight at the same time of day, you might try something like that. It works well with a kid like my son because sticker charts, pebble jars, etc. aren't motivating for him. He's more motivated by completing the cycle of a chart finished in the proper order. But you could up it a little by something like if he does the chart without complaints three days in a row he gets a sticker or a cookie or whatever you think motivates him.
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Sep 19, 2013 18:31
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