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Carbolic
Apr 19, 2007

This song is about how America chews the working man up and spits him in the dirt to die

Soylent Pudding posted:

Hit the plainsman with 3 medium lasers and kick just realized I can't kick it from there. So much for that brilliant idea. I guess for hitting it with my medium lasers I'd be better off turning to face 1227?

My understanding is that you can kick him from 1326 because he is really at level 0 - he's hovering on top of the layer of mud. If you go there, I'd make sure to turn so my back is not to the Phoenix and Quasit.

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PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat

Carbolic posted:

My understanding is that you can kick him from 1326 because he is really at level 0 - he's hovering on top of the layer of mud. If you go there, I'd make sure to turn so my back is not to the Phoenix and Quasit.

He's at -1. Mud doesn't work like water. The water fills in to -1, but the lake has still been partially drained.

Carbolic
Apr 19, 2007

This song is about how America chews the working man up and spits him in the dirt to die

PoptartsNinja posted:

He's at -1. Mud doesn't work like water. The water fills in to -1, but the lake has still been partially drained.

So 0817 is basically a waterfall pouring into the lake, whose surface is at -1? And if I went to, say, 0919, I'd be submerged in depth-1 water?

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat

Carbolic posted:

So 0817 is basically a waterfall pouring into the lake, whose surface is at -1? And if I went to, say, 0919, I'd be submerged in depth-1 water?

Correct.

Also, I got a delay-of-game request from a player so no update today. Thanks again for keeping me in the loop, it's much easier to work around delays when I know what's going on!

Runa
Feb 13, 2011

At least we won't have another turn of someone standing stock-still and politely saying Hello to the big guns.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
I'm easy to work with! "Too drunk to MechWarrior" is perfectly reasonable. "Too drunk to tell you I'm too drunk to MechWarrior" is not.

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008

I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad! :emo:

PoptartsNinja posted:

I'm easy to work with! "Too drunk to MechWarrior" is perfectly reasonable. "Too drunk to tell you I'm too drunk to MechWarrior" is not.

Being too drunk never stopped my orders! It enhanced them!

Psion
Dec 13, 2002

eVeN I KnOw wHaT CoRnEr gAs iS
Does BT have dice rules to let us roll the dice to see if you're getting drunk? Blow your BAC and email a photo to PTN and it acts as a modifier for your dice rolls?

I mean we already had people making PPCs and that godawful drink with a sardine, this is the natural extension!

Wafflecopper
Nov 27, 2004

I am a mouth, and I must scream

Red_October_7000 posted:

The Google Doc is telling me that I can accomplish the same thing I submitted orders for (jumping behind the Plainsman hovertank) with walking instead of jumping. Can I change me orders and if so is it in my best interest to walk instead of jump? I jumped on the assumption that I'd get a better move mod by jumping rather than walking.

The move mod for the bad guys shooting you is determined only by how many hexes you move through. In some circumstances, jumping will enable you to move through more hexes than running or walking as you don't have to pay extra MP for difficult terrain. Conversely, your mod for shooting at the bad guys is not affected by the number of hexes you move, only the way you move - walking is +1, running is +2 and jumping is +3. Therefore, if you can move the same distance by walking or running instead of jumping, it is better to do so in order to both get a better shot and to save heat.

dis astranagant
Dec 14, 2006

Pretty sure jumping has a flat +1 over your regular move mod. 10 jumpers are REALLY hard to hit.

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

dis astranagant posted:

Pretty sure jumping has a flat +1 over your regular move mod. 10 jumpers are REALLY hard to hit.

Correct, J:5 gets you back to neutral.

Runa
Feb 13, 2011

dis astranagant posted:

Pretty sure jumping has a flat +1 over your regular move mod. 10 jumpers are REALLY hard to hit.

This is why the Wraith is the `Mech of choice for Inner Sphere assholes.

Red_October_7000
Jun 22, 2009

Wafflecopper posted:

The move mod for the bad guys shooting you is determined only by how many hexes you move through. In some circumstances, jumping will enable you to move through more hexes than running or walking as you don't have to pay extra MP for difficult terrain. Conversely, your mod for shooting at the bad guys is not affected by the number of hexes you move, only the way you move - walking is +1, running is +2 and jumping is +3. Therefore, if you can move the same distance by walking or running instead of jumping, it is better to do so in order to both get a better shot and to save heat.

Welp, I guess this is what happens when you only play Battletech through MegaMek; you forget this stuff. I'll PM PTN to see if I can append my orders!

KnoxZone
Jan 27, 2007

If I die before I Wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

T.G. Xarbala posted:

This is why the Wraith is the `Mech of choice for Inner Sphere assholes.

I hope one day that PTN puts a Wraith on the opfor with ace status just to show the world how cruel a single mech can be.

SIGSEGV
Nov 4, 2010


T.G. Xarbala posted:

This is why the Wraith is the `Mech of choice for Inner Sphere assholes.

Then you have a custom with a partial wing to make things more worse. It is the thing that redefines annoying jumpy pulse-boatness into nearly something pure. Nearly pure because it lacks a TarComp.

Ferrosol
Nov 8, 2010

Notorious J.A.M

I'd like to take this opportunity to say gently caress that one 10 jump Ostcout that the WoB/C* use c3i jumps 10 and comes with it's own ECM it's the ultimate gently caress you spotter mech for a network.

landcollector
Feb 28, 2011

SIGSEGV posted:

Then you have a custom with a partial wing to make things more worse. It is the thing that redefines annoying jumpy pulse-boatness into nearly something pure. Nearly pure because it lacks a TarComp.

Yeah, about that...

Panther PNT-HA

Mass: 35 tons
Tech Base: Mixed
Chassis Config: Biped
Rules Level: Experimental Tech
Era: All Eras (non-canon)
Tech Rating/Era Availability: X/X-X-X
Production Year: 0
Cost: 7,935,210 C-Bills
Battle Value: 1,440

Chassis: Unknown Endo-Steel
Power Plant: Unknown 280 Fusion XL Engine
Walking Speed: 86.4 km/h
Maximum Speed: 129.6 km/h
Jump Jets: Unknown
Jump Capacity: 240 meters (300 meters)
Armor: Unknown Ferro-Fibrous
Armament:
2 (CL) Medium Pulse Lasers
1 C3 Computer (Slave)
1 Angel ECM
Manufacturer: Unknown
Primary Factory: Unknown
Communications System: Unknown
Targeting and Tracking System: Unknown

================================================================================
Equipment Type Rating Mass
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Internal Structure: Endo-Steel 58 points 2.00
Internal Locations: 1 RT, 3 LA, 1 RA, 1 LL, 1 RL
Engine: XL Engine 280 8.00
Walking MP: 8
Running MP: 12
Jumping MP: 8 (10) Standard
Jump Jet Locations: 4 LT, 4 RT 4.00
Heat Sinks: (CL) Double Heat Sink 10(23) 0.00
Gyro: Standard 3.00
Cockpit: Standard 3.00
Actuators: L: SH+UA+LA+H R: SH+UA+LA+H
Armor: Ferro-Fibrous AV - 96 5.00
Armor Locations: 1 RT, 1 LA, 3 RA, 1 LL, 1 RL

Internal Armor
Structure Factor
Head 3 9
Center Torso 11 13
Center Torso (rear) 4
L/R Torso 8 13
L/R Torso (rear) 3
L/R Arm 6 8
L/R Leg 8 11

================================================================================
Equipment Location Heat Critical Mass
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 (CL) Medium Pulse Lasers RA 8 2 4.00
Angel ECM LT 0 2 2.00
(CL) Partial Wing LT/RT - 3/3 2.00
C3 Computer (Slave) CT 0 1 1.00
(CL) Targeting Computer CT - 1 1.00
Free Critical Slots: 9

BattleForce Statistics
MV S (+0) M (+2) L (+4) E (+6) Wt. Ov Armor: 3 Points: 14
8/10j 2 2 0 0 1 0 Structure: 2
Special Abilities: C3S, AECM, ENE, SRCH, ES, SEAL, SOA

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
Guys! GUYS!

Exciting news! I just found my copy of the worst BattleTech book ever written! I may break out of Lets Read retirement to go over it, because Bred for War Natural Selection is possibly the worst book ever written!

It features:
- Rape
- A plot hastily cannibalized into another plot because of an Editorial Mandate
- Rape
- The Clans
- Rape
- Phelan Kell
- Rape
- Nonsensical Politics
- Did I mention Rape?
- And also Rape

PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at 17:33 on Sep 30, 2013

landcollector
Feb 28, 2011

PoptartsNinja posted:

Guys! GUYS!

Exciting news! I just found my copy of the worst BattleTech book ever written! I may break out of Lets Read retirement to go over it, because Bred for War is possibly the worst book ever written!

It features:
- Rape
- A plot hastily cannibalized into another plot because of an Editorial Mandate
- Rape
- The Clans
- Rape
- Phelan Kell
- Rape
- Nonsensical Politics
- Did I mention Rape?
- And also Rape

:stare:

I've heard many bad things about the Twilight book line. You are saying Bred for War is worse than Twilight? That's...that's terrifying.

jng2058
Jul 17, 2010

We have the tools, we have the talent!





Well, what could possibly go wrong. Fire that baby up!

(I mean that literally. Burn that book. :flame: )

Zaodai
May 23, 2009

Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.


PoptartsNinja posted:

Guys! GUYS!

Exciting news! I just found my copy of the worst BattleTech book ever written! I may break out of Lets Read retirement to go over it, because Bred for War is possibly the worst book ever written!

It features:
- Rape
- A plot hastily cannibalized into another plot because of an Editorial Mandate
- Rape
- The Clans
- Rape
- Phelan Kell
- Rape
- Nonsensical Politics
- Did I mention Rape?
- And also Rape

You said rape twice.

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

PoptartsNinja posted:

Guys! GUYS!

Exciting news! I just found my copy of the worst BattleTech book ever written! I may break out of Lets Read retirement to go over it, because Bred for War is possibly the worst book ever written!

Not to downplay the absurd overuse of rape as a plot device by modern authors, but...even worse than ostrich muppets and an aggressively pointless plotline?

Psion
Dec 13, 2002

eVeN I KnOw wHaT CoRnEr gAs iS
Worse than DRT? I don't even want to think about it.

Readingaccount
Jan 6, 2013

Law of the jungle

landcollector posted:

Panther PNT-HA

Jump Capacity: 240 meters (300 meters)
Armament:
2 (CL) Medium Pulse Lasers
1 C3 Computer (Slave)
1 Angel ECM

You magnificent bastard.

Runa
Feb 13, 2011

PoptartsNinja posted:

Guys! GUYS!
Exciting news! I just found my copy of the worst BattleTech book ever written! I may break out of Lets Read retirement to go over it, because Bred for War is possibly the worst book ever written!

It features:
- Rape
- A plot hastily cannibalized into another plot because of an Editorial Mandate
- Rape
- The Clans
- Rape
- Phelan Kell
- Rape
- Nonsensical Politics
- Did I mention Rape?
- And also Rape

Oh no. Phelan Kell. :suspense:

The Merry Marauder
Apr 4, 2009

"But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."

Readingaccount posted:

You magnificent bastard.

It bears as much relation to a Panther as a stale croissant, but, hey, whatever gets you hard.

landcollector
Feb 28, 2011

Readingaccount posted:

You magnificent bastard.

Heh, rip out the Standard Gyro for an XL Gyro and you can replace the C3 Slave with C3i.

The Merry Marauder posted:

It bears as much relation to a Panther as a stale croissant, but, hey, whatever gets you hard.

The base unit was a custom Panther that mounted an SRM-6 and the 2 MPLs. Yeah, I had to modify it quite a bit.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

Not to downplay the absurd overuse of rape as a plot device by modern authors, but...even worse than ostrich muppets and an aggressively pointless plotline?

It is 375 or so pages long, and has 58 chapters. That's an average of 6.4 pages per chapter; and some of those chapters are divided into sub-chapters so it's really more like 3-4 pages per chapter.

PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at 04:05 on Sep 30, 2013

The Merry Marauder
Apr 4, 2009

"But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."
But what of the Boris Vallejo cover art?!

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
You mean half-naked beefcake Adam Steiner person who doesn't appear in the book firing a phallic gun from the hip looking really surprised and/or angry to be holding a flag while Ratchet (or some other autobot with a huge nose) stands in the background looking vaguely disappointed?





Boris Vallejo did the cover art for D.R.T. too. That doesn't make D.R.T. good. It just means the publisher wasted a lot of money commissioning inappropriate artwork from a really good artist.

dis astranagant
Dec 14, 2006

Since we're discussing horribly overpowered mechs let us imagine a fist punching a face... forever:

code:

Mass: 50 tons
Tech Base: Clan
Chassis Config: Biped
Rules Level: Experimental Tech
Era: Clan Invasion
Tech Rating/Era Availability: F/X-X-F
Production Year: 3055
Cost: 13,882,500 C-Bills
Battle Value: 2,282

Chassis: Unknown Endo-Steel
Power Plant: Unknown 300 Fusion XL Engine
Walking Speed: 64.8 km/h
Maximum Speed: 97.2 km/h
Jump Jets: Unknown
    Jump Capacity: 270 meters (330 meters)
Armor: Unknown Ferro-Fibrous
Armament:
    4  Medium Pulse Lasers
    1  Nova CEWS
    1  Light TAG
Manufacturer: Unknown
    Primary Factory: Unknown
Communications System: Unknown
Targeting and Tracking System: Unknown

================================================================================
Equipment           Type                         Rating                   Mass  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Internal Structure: Endo-Steel                    83 points                2.50
    Internal Locations: 4 LA, 3 RA
Engine:             XL Fusion Engine             300                       9.50
    Walking MP: 6
    Running MP: 9
    Jumping MP: 9 (11) Improved
    Jump Jet Locations: 1 CT, 3 LT, 3 RT, 1 LL, 1 RL                       9.00
Heat Sinks:         Double Heat Sink             10(23)                    0.00
Gyro:               Standard                                               3.00
Cockpit:            Standard                                               3.00
    Actuators:      L: SH+UA    R: SH+UA
Armor:              Ferro-Fibrous                AV - 163                  8.50
    Armor Locations: 1 LT, 1 RT, 2 LA, 3 RA

                                                      Internal       Armor      
                                                      Structure      Factor     
                                                Head     3            9         
                                        Center Torso     16           25        
                                 Center Torso (rear)                  7         
                                           L/R Torso     12           18        
                                    L/R Torso (rear)                  6         
                                             L/R Arm     8            16        
                                             L/R Leg     12           21        

================================================================================
Equipment                                 Location    Heat    Critical    Mass  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 Medium Pulse Lasers                        RA        8         2         4.00
Targeting Computer                           RA        -         2         2.00
2 Medium Pulse Lasers                        LA        8         2         4.00
Light TAG                                    LA        0         1         0.50
Partial Wing                                 LT/RT     -         3/3       2.50
Nova CEWS                                    HD        2         1         1.50
                                            Free Critical Slots: 1

BattleForce Statistics
MV      S (+0)  M (+2)  L (+4)  E (+6)   Wt.   Ov   Armor:      5    Points: 23
6/11j      4       4       0       0      2     0   Structure:  3
Special Abilities: LTAG, ENE, SRCH, ES, SEAL, SOA

dis astranagant fucked around with this message at 04:33 on Sep 30, 2013

The Merry Marauder
Apr 4, 2009

"But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."
Ah, but that is an Imperator SMG, a clear symbol for the impotence the tiny yet powerful V S-D feels as he is unable to keep the FedCom from flying to pieces, because


And I think that's Dot from Spaceballs behind him. Look, she found Vespa's hairdryer!

landcollector posted:

The base unit was a custom Panther that mounted an SRM-6 and the 2 MPLs. Yeah, I had to modify it quite a bit.

If only there already were two fast, jumpy Kuritan light 'Mechs with MPLs in the torso....

landcollector
Feb 28, 2011

The Merry Marauder posted:

Ah, but that is an Imperator SMG, a clear symbol for the impotence the tiny yet powerful V S-D feels as he is unable to keep the FedCom from flying to pieces, because


And I think that's Dot from Spaceballs behind him. Look, she found Vespa's hairdryer!


If only there already were two fast, jumpy Kuritan light 'Mechs with MPLs in the torso....

I apologize for not having memorized the Master List nor spending time looking it up. Please forgive my ignorance.

The Merry Marauder
Apr 4, 2009

"But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."
It's just funny, man. You mutated a Venom/Spider from a Panther without realizing it.

To save you the onerous task of looking 'em up, those are 30/35 tons and move 8/12/8 with 2 (or 4) MPLs as their only armament. They're as close as you can get to what you did with 3055 tech. They're even Kuritan and have wings on the back!

Ferrosol
Nov 8, 2010

Notorious J.A.M

PoptartsNinja posted:

Guys! GUYS!

Exciting news! I just found my copy of the worst BattleTech book ever written! I may break out of Lets Read retirement to go over it, because Bred for War is possibly the worst book ever written!

It features:
- Rape
- A plot hastily cannibalized into another plot because of an Editorial Mandate
- Rape
- The Clans
- Rape
- Phelan Kell
- Rape
- Nonsensical Politics
- Did I mention Rape?
- And also Rape

Strange I don't remember any rape. Unless you have it confused with Natural Selection plenty of raping going on there which also has Phelan Kell being competent less dumb than usual*.

*In the last three pages or so but still..

SIGSEGV
Nov 4, 2010


PoptartsNinja posted:

Guys! GUYS!

Exciting news! I just found my copy of the worst BattleTech book ever written! I may break out of Lets Read retirement to go over it, because Bred for War is possibly the worst book ever written!

It features:
- Rape
- A plot hastily cannibalized into another plot because of an Editorial Mandate
- Rape
- The Clans
- Rape
- Phelan Kell
- Rape
- Nonsensical Politics
- Did I mention Rape?
- And also Rape

Are you sure you didn't run into TFR's Pitch and somehow swap books without realizing it? Because it sounds like a book he'd make a let's read about.

Also since it is a Stackpole, are there any inappropriate comparisons of events to the behavior of the traitorous Union during the War Of Northern Aggression?

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat

Ferrosol posted:

Strange I don't remember any rape. Unless you have it confused with Natural Selection plenty of raping going on there which also has Phelan Kell being competent less dumb than usual*.

*In the last three pages or so but still..

Oh, gently caress me, you're right! I did get it confused with Natural Selection!

Which I have also just found. I think Bred for War was the one where Phelan gets smug and challenges Victor Steiner-Davion and pals to a simulator match or something because ComStar is too nice to tell the Clans "no" when Phelan wants to attend his dad's birthday or something inane like that..

Oh, wait, no. That's also Natural Selection.



Bred for War is the book that's 80% Victor naval gazing.

PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at 19:22 on Sep 30, 2013

Psion
Dec 13, 2002

eVeN I KnOw wHaT CoRnEr gAs iS
Maybe you should go back to the Warrior trilogy. At least that's less terrible and more just sort of ... there. :v:

Its Rinaldo
Aug 13, 2010

CODS BINCH

PoptartsNinja posted:

Oh, gently caress me, you're right! I did get it confused with Natural Selection!

Which I have also just found. I think Bred for War was the one where Phelan gets smug and challenges Victor Steiner-Davion and pals to a simulator match or something because ComStar is too nice to tell the Clans "no" when Phelan wants to attend his dad's birthday or something inane like that..

Oh, wait, no. That's also Natural Selection.

Victor was the one who challenged Phelan and got schooled by a force one third its size. There's nobody alive who wouldn't take an opportunity to be a smug dick to Victor Davion after that :colbert:

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quantumfoam
Dec 25, 2003

Poptartninja.
This thread is insanely addictive, serious thanks for starting up this Let's Play thread.

sidenote: I booted up Mechwarrior2: mercs, and discovered this.

Two of the mercenary units don't exist in PTN's timeline, and Gray Death Legion is gone.

Seriously, with Wolf's Dragoons not existing in PTN's alternate timeline, Wayne Waco must be the happiest man alive.
battlemech volleyball matches with his son every thursday?
Possibly taking over the role of relic-hunters that Snords Irregulars performed?
PTN, I'd love to see your take on Waco's Rangers without Wolf's Dragoons.

edit1: found that hilarious Viper News Network fanart and the reasoning behind it.
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3383329&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=350#post394516968

quantumfoam fucked around with this message at 03:03 on Oct 1, 2013

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