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Echo Chamber posted:I thought the end was mocking the common nerd fantasy of having their childhood bully ending up working for them in some low level job. The "source" is the bullied eighth grader imagining the future. I assumed that his dad would actually be one of the 9/11 hijackers. edit: that's a hell of a new page 
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Sep 30, 2013 01:27
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Story Of Small Businessman Struggling Under Obama Administration Draws To Close
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Sep 30, 2013 01:31
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The Onion predicts the future once again. Republicans Stalling Obama's Agenda By Speaking, Moving In Slow Motion
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Sep 30, 2013 23:44
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This was great, but as usual the little text stories along the bottom steal the show. "Will.i.am files lawsuit against all other Wills who are."
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Sep 30, 2013 23:52
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U.S. On Verge Of Full-Scale Government Hoedown
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Oct 1, 2013 01:50
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I can't stop laughing
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Oct 1, 2013 02:14
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Tater Love 
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Jerusalem posted:Another great headline/picture combo: They could probably run this every couple months even now. I'm sure most Americans think he's still PM. He's the name that jumps to my mind first and I know it's David Cameron.
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Oct 1, 2013 03:46
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What A Government Shutdown Means For You quote:
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Oct 1, 2013 03:55
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May Contain Nuts posted:They could probably run this every couple months even now. I'm sure most Americans think he's still PM. He's the name that jumps to my mind first and I know it's David Cameron. Edit: Actually nvm
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Oct 1, 2013 04:05
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It may be more news relevant, but it's not as good as the older Banjo Player Sought in Hootenanny Spree.
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Oct 1, 2013 05:56
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Der Spiegel just published an article titled Dolphins May be Dumber Than We Think. It immediately reminded me of an older article from The Onion titled Study: Dolphins Not So Intelligent On Land
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Oct 2, 2013 13:32
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Nation Trying To Fix Up Ralph Nader With Date EDIT: Another good one in that category: Study Reveals Dolphins Lack Capacity To Mock Celebrity Culture Lysidas has a new favorite as of 14:48 on Oct 2, 2013 |
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Oct 2, 2013 14:20
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 10 Photos That Will Make You Angry Because You Are A Strange Person Who Gets Upset At Pictures Of Wallets
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Oct 2, 2013 18:51
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Get Innocuous! posted:
Hmm, this explains why every other Kickstarter is a "minimalist wallet."
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Oct 2, 2013 18:57
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I think this article's become relevant again. "Look, It’s Come Down To This: Either I Have To Murder John Boehner Or He Has To Murder Me" by Barack Obama
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Oct 3, 2013 00:20
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Reince Priebus Forced Back Into Ancient Puzzle Box After Being Tricked Into Saying Name Backwards Old but still gets a chuckle out of me. Good Photoshop, too.
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Oct 3, 2013 01:23
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Remember Jackie Harvey?quote:Soup weather may have ended last month, but in another month or so, it's going to be high time for some cold soups. Seriously, if you haven't tried a nice chilled gazpacho, you haven't lived.
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Oct 3, 2013 02:08
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The Onion Reviews 'Gravity' http://www.theonion.com/video/the-onion-reviews-gravity,34083/
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Oct 4, 2013 02:45
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Was gonna post this, it's one of my absolute favorites from back in the day quote:"This is an incredible find," said Dr. Christian Hutchins, Oxford University archaeologist and head of the dig team. "Imagine: At one time, this entire area was filled with spooky, bony, walking skeletons." My new favorite: Bo Obama Receives Visiting Dognitaries From Furuguay quote:WOOFINGTON, D.C.—Aiming to strengthen yiplomatic relations with the nation of Furuguay, Bo Obama welcomed a visiting doglegation from the overseas country to the White House Thursday for talks on a wide range of vital rufforms.
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Oct 4, 2013 03:12
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Every time I read this one I just imagine the writer sitting there giggling his rear end off while throwing out as many puns as he could possibly think of 
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Oct 4, 2013 03:27
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Meat
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Oct 4, 2013 16:54
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An old but classic story in light of recent events National Funk Congress Deadlocked On Get Up/Get Down Issue
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Oct 4, 2013 20:33
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Tea Party Leaders Announce Support For Deal In Exchange For Malia Obama
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Oct 4, 2013 21:52
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Robert Denby posted:Mia Farrow: ‘It’s Possible My Son Was Fathered By Frank Sinatra, Mario Puzo, George McGovern, Robert Altman, Anthony Perkins, Milton Berle, Robert Redford, Michael Caine, Danny Aiello, Or Bruce Dern. Or Maybe Francis Ford Coppola, John Cassavetes, Tony Curtis, Dustin Hoffman, Quincy Jones, Sydney Pollack, Joe Mantegna, Liam Neeson, Tom Courtenay, Bob Balaban, Or Even William Hurt' Reminds me of this one: Jack Nicholson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington, And Daniel Day-Lewis Come Out As Gay (Also Bruce Springsteen, Beyoncé, Brian Williams, Meryl Streep, And LeBron James)
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Oct 4, 2013 22:57
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Couple classics I remember from the Clinton era: Gaywads, Dorkwads Sign Historic Wad Accord Clinton Calls For National Week Off To Get National poo poo Together
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Oct 4, 2013 23:21
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Lysidas posted:Nation Trying To Fix Up Ralph Nader With Date Dolphins Evolve Thumbs: Oh poo poo, Says Humanity http://www.theonion.com/articles/dolphins-evolve-opposable-thumbs,284/
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Oct 4, 2013 23:58
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Bush Sr. Apologizes To Son For Funding Bin Laden In '80s
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Oct 5, 2013 05:43
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Majority Of Americans Never Use Physical Education After High School
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Oct 5, 2013 23:38
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POLL: What's Going On With The Government Shutdown?
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Oct 5, 2013 23:42
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Again with the last line.quote:In response to these findings, many Americans have urged the government to stop wasting millions of dollars on useless physical education programs and start focusing on real problems, such as obesity, arthritis, and chronic back pain.
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Oct 5, 2013 23:51
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The article right before this one was Kidnapped Boy Found Safe, Imagines Kidnapped Boy 
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Oct 6, 2013 00:20
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NFL Switches To All-Pink MRI Machines For Breast Cancer Awareness Month Them making fun of the NFL will never get old, although it is a little bittersweet now that "Sportsdome" and "Get Out of My Face" aren't made anymore.
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Oct 6, 2013 23:49
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Robert Denby posted:Them making fun of the NFL will never get old, although it is a little bittersweet now that "Sportsdome" and "Get Out of My Face" aren't made anymore.
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Oct 7, 2013 01:27
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Yeah I think the number of people who know enough about sports to get the humor and the number of Onion readers isn't really the largest overlap in terms of demographics. Most of the NFL fans I know haven't watched anything but major network comedy for their whole lives and think George Lopez is the funniest man that ever lived.
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Oct 7, 2013 06:31
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Pryor on Fire posted:Yeah I think the number of people who know enough about sports to get the humor and the number of Onion readers isn't really the largest overlap in terms of demographics. Most of the NFL fans I know haven't watched anything but major network comedy for their whole lives and think George Lopez is the funniest man that ever lived.
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Oct 7, 2013 06:34
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Pryor on Fire posted:Yeah I think the number of people who know enough about sports to get the humor and the number of Onion readers isn't really the largest overlap in terms of demographics. Most of the NFL fans I know haven't watched anything but major network comedy for their whole lives and think George Lopez is the funniest man that ever lived. I think The Onion deserves kudos for their sports humor because 90% of internet humor about sports is bitter nerds making the same "Throwing balls and scoring points? Ah yes, what a worthwhile use of one's time, I see why they get paid so much more than scientists  " joke over and over and The Onion mostly avoids that.
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Oct 7, 2013 07:03
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Y-Hat posted:Sadly, you're right. A majority of sports fans are stupid as hell and/or lack self-awareness. Walking Sports Database Scorns Walking Scifi Database Sports forums I've occasioned often have Onion links in their "general section". If you are going to find that Onion/Sports overlap, Forums Users are definitely in the mix.
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Oct 7, 2013 08:02
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High-Powered Washington Fixer Tells Blood-Soaked Obama To Listen Carefully Already an amazing article with a great pic, but the last line completely killed me.
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Oct 8, 2013 07:52
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