BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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Beet: Aug 24, 2003

Expansion Cup XI May: Inertia is a Powerful Force

Analysis

The pitching is coming around, and Cicotte doesn't appear to be totally broken, just a bit unlucky.

Analysis
Second place! Though I really doubt Rusty Staub and Atlee Hammaker can keep it up.

Analysis
Gamble has got power, but not a lot else. You don't have too many better options though.

Analysis
The bullpen isn't as bad as it looks, really. It should improve.

Analysis
Not having the best season so far. A lot of down seasons on offense.

Analysis
Making a strong case for being the best team in the cup. That pitching sure is something else.

Analysis
May was a slight improvement, but I don't know how much better your offense can get. And the bullpen is a total disaster.

Analysis
Calmly crusing to the ML crown on the back of half of your lineup playing way over their heads. The pitching is merely adequate.

Analysis
Yogi Berra is the second best hitter on your team and batting 7th and 8th. I'm not sure why that is.

Analysis
Just a bum deal this season, I guess. Nothing is going right outside of A-Rod and A-Gon.

Analysis
May went a lot worse than April, and I still don't have any faith in your rotation.

Analysis
An excellent May has put the Dragons into the mix for the McQueen League. Can they compete?

Analysis
The pitching is probably irredeemable but if anyone on your team started hitting you might at least get out of last place.

Analysis
Mark McGwire is cool, but I don't know about anything else right now.

Analysis
And the Hipsters come roaring back with a strong May. Chipper's roll is really paying dividends this cup.

Analysis
Your pitching is working better than it has any right to. May as well enjoy it while it lasts, though.

Analysis
No longer the Worst! I don't know if The Sixth Place has the same ring to it though.

Analysis
Dingering their way past .500! Your pitching may be starting to suffer the effects of the rarified air, on the other hand.

Beet fucked around with this message at 20:07 on Oct 17, 2013

# ? Oct 16, 2013 23:56

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# ? May 25, 2024 21:18

DannoMack: Aug 1, 2003; i love it when you call me big poppa

Pick 'em: Better Conditions For Prisoners Now!

Intercontinental Title
South Bolton Eazy W's

Television Title
New World Symphony (c) (4-Game Series)

Canadian Title
@ Somali Pirates

Unified Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles
Rockford Losers (c)

Heavyweight Title
Burma Imperialists (c)

# ? Oct 17, 2013 00:30

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

So, Officer McNair wants to be (sore), does he? That's fine. We have a nice Packard Plant Spa where he can be... rehabilitated.

Play King Kelly at SS for the month, Bill Ferrell catches everyone. Also, replace Ed Summers with George Mullin.

# ? Oct 17, 2013 00:43

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

Pick 'em: Better Conditions For Prisoners Now!

Intercontinental Title
Walney Rakers (c) @ South Bolton Eazy W's

Television Title
Plunder Corp. @ New World Symphony (c) (4-Game Series)

Canadian Title
Coburns (c) @ Somali Pirates

Unified Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles
Rockford Losers (c) @ Oklahoma City Bombers (4-Game Series)

Heavyweight Title
Strickland Propane @ Burma Imperialists (c)

# ? Oct 17, 2013 01:26

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

CraigK posted:

High Roller Gamblin' Challenge-- Amended

If I, CraigK, at any point from now until the conclusion of the month of October, mention a certain 2013-vintage team named after a red-colored avian in the #TheSuperLeague IRC channel, I lose any one (1) player on the New Vegas High Rollers SL squadron of the choice ~~of the person who calls me out on this challenge.~~ our benevolent commissioner. So be sure to come in and possibly get yourself a Rogers Hornsby for free!

# ? Oct 17, 2013 01:35

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

New lineup

CF: Tris Speaker. Look, I'm sorry I didn't put you here from the start, and I broke the faith. Have it back.
DH: Heilmann
SS: ERNIE BANKS.
RF: Ott
1B: Bill Terry
2B: Gehringer
C vs RHP: Bob O'Farrell
LF: Rice/Lindstrom
3B: McManus/Jackson
C vs LHP: Hogan McShanty

Against no DH teams, platoon Terry and Heilman in the number 2 slot and move Gehringer and everyone else up 1.

Pitching Changes:

Make Rush SP 5. Put Cicotte in LR. Dump Karger.

mks5000 posted:

THE MIGHTY PLUNDER CORP. DECLAIRE A TRADE*

The Plunder Corp. send:
1921 Harry Heilmann
1946 Mel Ott

to the Oklahoma City Bombers for:
1969 Ron Santo

*Pending 2/3 majority agreement

I approve this trade!

Sure.

Cthulhu Dreams fucked around with this message at 01:48 on Oct 17, 2013

# ? Oct 17, 2013 01:37

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

It only took mentholmoose two weeks to figure out that having two near-identical Ron Santos was basically pointless.

Good for him!

Trade approved.

# ? Oct 17, 2013 02:50

kensei: Dec 27, 2007; He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!

I have a n00b question, how do I tell when someone needs to be swapped in or out?

# ? Oct 17, 2013 03:03

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

When they have (tired) or (sore) next to them in the update screenshots, or whenever you wanna try something different with your lineup.

# ? Oct 17, 2013 03:05

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

Here's a good post on it from a jillion pages ago:

Cthulhu Dreams posted:

Okay, this seems to be causing some confusion, so

Cthulhu Dream's guide to using old, tired and sore position players and pitchers

Players fall into 7 approximate categories

A) Catchers, Old position players (32 or older) or very unhealthy position players (for a definition of unhealthy see the carer of Stephenson riggs).
B) 'Middle aged' position players (26-31 or so)
C) Young position players (24 or less)

D) Old pitchers (32 or more or so)
E) Other pitchers

F) Any sort of relievers.

F, E and C need no particular management you can just stuff them in the lineup and you'll be gold, so I will not address them today. The other categories do to a greater lesser extent need some love and attention

Old Pitchers

It's important to note that the age that triggers 'old' depends on the length of the guys career. If the guy pitched successfully in the bigs until he was 48, he's not going to be 'old' at 34. If he retired at 35 however, the age 34 is gonna need some caution.

However managing old pitchers is relatively easy. Don't start on short rest and keep the pitch counts down. If you can have them in the 5th starter slot without fatally compromising your rotation do that so they get a week off now and then. Younger rotations can obviously have more strain placed on the arm. Obviously old rotations will need better bullpen support.

What does tired and sore mean?

Tired: Tired just means that the guy needs a day off in the next week or two. One day of rest is sufficent to cure tired (typically). Look at the up coming schedule. If he's got a day off, you're probably fine. It does not impact player performance.

Sore: Sore decreases the players performance and increases the injury chance. Basically what typically happens if you keep playing a sore guy is he sucks for a week or so then suffers a minor injury, comes out of the lineup for a few days to a week (suffering from wrist soreness or something) then goes back in. They can suffer a more significant injury but that is unlikely. These guys need a couple of days off to recover.

How does catching, DHing and playing the field impact a players fatigue?

The way fatigue works is that players have a fatigue score. The fatigue score increases for each inning played in the field, catching and as a DH. Each day passing removes a certain amount of fatigue, and a day off removes more. When fatigue exceeds thresholds related to their health score they need time off. Catching adds much more fatigue than playing a position. DHing adds much less fatigue than playing a position.

When should I take a tired or sore player out of the lineup?

Basically never, particularly if they are noticeably better than their backup. Just platoon them, and consider turning up the use defensive substitution sliders. This has the effect of giving the guy some time off, recovering from his conidition, but keeps the bat in the lineup.

Old players, Catchers and platooning

The long and short of it is these guys need regular days off, and must be somehow platooned. However, they don't actually need that much time off. Missing one start a week off will effectively ensure an old position player never gets tired. Similarly, cycling a guy through the designated hitter slot will ensure he doesn't get tired until deep into the season.

Example: I have a 33 year old Rodger Hornsby (who is 'old' because he perpetually struggled to say in the lineup) playing 2B against Righties and DH against lefties. This prevented him from getting 'tired' until the last weeks of the season. Similarly my ancient Stan Musial was playing 1B against righties and riding the pine against lefties and never got tired either. Use platoons and move old players through DH to manage their fatigue.

Old Catchers however need lots of time off. The game works of a baseline of 28 year old position players managing 150ish games a year and 28 year old catchers managing 100 games a year. As old catchers can do less work than young catchers, old catchers can only be expected to pick up at most half your catching workload. Basically you have to platoon your catchers. If your main catcher is young and healthy having someone as personal catcher for one starter is fine, but if he's not both of these things, I prefer having my backup catch two guys.

If your catcher is a really dynamic hitter, you can use him in other positions on his day off to minimize fatigue. But really, catchers need regular rest.

Middle aged players

These guys can play ever day probably, they'll only need a day off in a really tough stretch, like something with 28 games straight. However, they will only need 1 day off or so, so don't take them out of the lineup! Just platoon them with their backup for a week or two, then scrap the platoon.

# ? Oct 17, 2013 03:20

Monathin: Sep 1, 2011; ?????????
?

The Canton Calamities offer the following for the auction of Joltin' Joe:

1938 Dutch Leonard (good Knuckleballer, had a great season before this week killed him, he'll be available for you in the Gauntlet)
1974 Don Sutton (great modern pitcher, who's tried and tested in the Super-League, and was my Super-Draft pick for good reason)
The Platoon Combination of 2006 Ken Griffey Jr and 1938 Al Simmons (essentially a stopgap, but a decently proficient replacement, even if the two are past their prime by a decent margin.)

However, as compensation for the number of pieces, we'd like to request Pash send over 1907(?) "Gettysburg Eddie" Plank as an addition, considering Pash's current problems with him and the fact he will likely do better with the Calamities than the Madknights.

Monathin fucked around with this message at 03:33 on Oct 17, 2013

# ? Oct 17, 2013 03:22

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

kensei posted:

I have a n00b question, how do I tell when someone needs to be swapped in or out?

A few further points to add to cbx

Tired condition has no effect on performance and takes 1 day of complete rest to clear. Sore has a performance penalty and takes multiple days of rest to clear. Players' fatigue 'accumulated' varies by position (catcher more, DH less), so you can rest people by rotating them through DH.

e: beaten by.. myself!

# ? Oct 17, 2013 03:23

Mr. Locke: Jul 28, 2010

That... is a hell of a second month tanking from Bill Lee there.

Bill Lee to minors, Roy Culp into his spot in my pitching rotation

Also, put Pete Rose onto 1B, bench Evans for now.

# ? Oct 17, 2013 06:30

UltimoDragonQuest: Oct 5, 2011

Pick 'em believes those criminals had it coming

South Bolton Eazy W's
Champs retain

# ? Oct 17, 2013 07:08

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

Pick 'em: Bombers sweep! Nobody cares about the rest, but I guess all the rest retain.

Smasher Dynamo posted:

It only took mentholmoose two weeks to figure out that having two near-identical Ron Santos was basically pointless.

Good for him!

Trade approved.

Believe it or not, I had a plan to trade one of the Santo's immediately, but fairgame, as a Cardinals fan is wont to do, ruined it.

# ? Oct 17, 2013 10:23

ForeverBWFC: Oct 19, 2011; Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!

Roster Moves!
Hernandez in at 1B, Grace in at LF, Bellhorn comes in at 3B and Gibson takes CF.

Pick 'Em!
All champs retain

# ? Oct 17, 2013 10:47

Robert Deadford: Mar 1, 2008; Ultra Carp

By Order of the King!

1. All previous roster moves remain in effect if not already processed, ie.:
- Ed Reulbach replaces Tommy John as SP3
- Nap Rucker replaces Mickey Lolich as SP4
- Zack Wheat replaces Matt Holliday at LF
2. New roster changes:
- Move A-Rod to 4th in the line-up and Lee to 6th
- Rest Griffey for one week if possible, with Stengel called up from the Minors in his place in CF. Send Holliday to the Minors. If not, Griffey gets the month off.
- Bench Utley. Platoon Young and McAuliffe at 2B, Young versus LHP, McAuliffe versus RHP.
- Lidge and Todd Jones exchange roles in the bullpen, Lidge as Set-up.

Robert Deadford fucked around with this message at 13:37 on Oct 17, 2013

# ? Oct 17, 2013 13:33

TheFlyingLlama: Jan 2, 2013; You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?

Eh. Give Hack Wilson the month off, Juan Gonzalez should take his place at CF and in the lineup.

# ? Oct 17, 2013 13:52

ToiletofSadness: Mar 27, 2010

Pick 'em: Yes, they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell!

Intercontinental Title
Walney Rakers (c) @ South Bolton Eazy W's

Television Title
Plunder Corp. @ New World Symphony (c) (4-Game Series)

Canadian Title
Coburns (c) @ Somali Pirates

Unified Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles
Rockford Losers (c) @ Oklahoma City Bombers (4-Game Series)

Heavyweight Title
Strickland Propane @ Burma Imperialists (c)

# ? Oct 17, 2013 14:35

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Boy, Rickey's having a rough go of it. Same thing that happened in all the sims I ran. Weird. Still, it's Rickey; I'll stick with him. Also, how the gently caress is Terry Steinbach the team leader in HRs? I'll probably give Phil Douglas a shot if Uhle continues to perform poorly, but I'll give it another month to stabilize.

Changes

1.) Swap Waner and Olerud in the batting order (this only applies to 3 lineups; Olerud doesn't play against RHP when there's no DH)
2.) Tone the "STEALING BASES" slider down from 5 to 3.
3.) Tone the "AGGRESSIVELY TAGGING UP" slider down from 5 to 3
4.) Tone the "TAKING EXTRA BASES" slider down from 4 to 2

# ? Oct 17, 2013 14:50

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

Everyone retains.

# ? Oct 17, 2013 15:15

Paul Zuvella: Dec 7, 2011

Beet posted:

Analysis
The bullpen isn't as bad as it looks, really. It should improve.

Even if the bullpen was this bad, there is not much that I can do to fix it so whelp!
It also seems that my 2nd base situation is not going to fix itself with Larry Doyle Either! I don't trust Bobby Doerr all that much, but it seems Pesky and Stephens are doing great! So...

We will catch the Protectors!

Lineup Vs. RHP
CF '48 Richie Ashburn
LF '50 Ted Williams
1B '03 Adam Dunn
RF '60 Hank Aaron
3B '60 Eddie Mathews
2B '50 Johnny Pesky
SS '50 Vern Stephens
C '60 Joe Torre (Del Crandell Catches for Mel Parnell)
P

Lineup Vs. LHP
CF '50 Dom Dimaggio
LF '50 Ted Williams
3B '60 Eddie Mathews
RF '60 Hank Aaron
SS '50 Vern Stephens
1B '60 Joe Adcock
2B '50 Johnny Pesky
C '60 Joe Torre (Del Crandell Catches for Mel Parnell)
P

Lineup Vs. RHP w/ DH
CF '48 Richie Ashburn
DH '50 Ted Williams
1B '03 Adam Dunn
RF '60 Hank Aaron
3B '60 Eddie Mathews
2B '50 Johnny Pesky
SS '50 Vern Stephens
C '60 Joe Torre (Del Crandell Catches for Mel Parnell)
LF '73 George Hendrick

Lineup Vs. LHP w/ DH
CF '50 Dom Dimaggio
DH '50 Ted Williams
3B '60 Eddie Mathews
RF '60 Hank Aaron
SS '50 Vern Stephens
1B '60 Joe Adcock
2B '50 Johnny Pesky
C '60 Joe Torre (Del Crandell Catches for Mel Parnell)
LF '73 George Hendrick

Paul Zuvella fucked around with this message at 15:52 on Oct 17, 2013

# ? Oct 17, 2013 15:42

Ice To Meet You: Mar 5, 2007

Pick 'em: Better Conditions For Prisoners Now!

Intercontinental Title
Walney Rakers (c) @ South Bolton Eazy W's

Television Title
Plunder Corp. @ New World Symphony (c) (4-Game Series)

Canadian Title
Coburns (c) @ Somali Pirates

Unified Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles
Rockford Losers (c) @ Oklahoma City Bombers (4-Game Series)

Heavyweight Title
Strickland Propane @ Burma Imperialists (c)

# ? Oct 17, 2013 16:53

CFBalla: Sep 16, 2009; Yeah, I just made that shot.

Haha Jesus Christ what an amazing rotation. Obviously I have no idea what makes a good pitcher in this league, but at least I'm helping everyone else have a good record :thumbsup:

Anyway, to try something different I want to call Bob Feller up and replace Al Leiter with him. Lowest IP and terrible ERA is probably a sign to take someone out. Maybe. :v:

# ? Oct 17, 2013 18:08

Beet: Aug 24, 2003

# ? Oct 17, 2013 19:09

TheFlyingLlama: Jan 2, 2013; You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?

CFBalla posted:

Haha Jesus Christ what an amazing rotation. Obviously I have no idea what makes a good pitcher in this league,

First rule is basically "Is this pitcher an all time elite?" Second is "Does this pitcher fit my stadium/rest of team. Flyballers do better in huge stadiums, deadballers need a good infield. And if your stadium is hosed enough (Like the Dinger Temple) basically every pitcher will suck.

# ? Oct 17, 2013 19:39

kensei: Dec 27, 2007; He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!

Thanks for the updates/information! I didn't look over to the left, but now I see the (sore) and (tired)

I wanted Alomar in over Knoblauch, when I need a DH that should be Kirby Puckett. Can I get Benito a rest from Valle, Blauser a rest from Wallach, and then sub in Deion/Puckett for the resting of my OF? If that's too vague let me know.

# ? Oct 17, 2013 20:15

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

kensei posted:

Thanks for the updates/information! I didn't look over to the left, but now I see the (sore) and (tired)

I wanted Alomar in over Knoblauch, when I need a DH that should be Kirby Puckett. Can I get Benito a rest from Valle, Blauser a rest from Wallach, and then sub in Deion/Puckett for the resting of my OF? If that's too vague let me know.

Just so you know changes are really hard to spot if you don't have your team banner in your post and/or bold your changes.

# ? Oct 18, 2013 00:22

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Super-League XI, Week 20: The Great Marauder Conspiracy

Games of the Week

Don May posted:

BOMBERS WIN FOUR TITLES IN SHOCKER OF THE SEASON! THEN STUMBLE INTO HORRIFYING, AND DEEPLY CONFUSING, CONSPIRACY!

Oklahoma City- There was no loving way in hell that the Bombers were going to pull this off.

Granted, they had won the first three games of the series against the Rockford Losers, and they led 2-0 going into the top of the ninth, but how much longer could that last. The Losers were an unstoppable force, seemingly destined for the Super-League Championship, while the Oklahoma City Bombers were best known for their logo honoring domestic terrorists.

And the Losers certainly seemed like they weren't going to take the loss sitting down. Kevin Youkilis led off the top of the ninth with a double, and Lefty O'Doul hit a single of his own, putting runners at the corners with no outs. Speaker, reading the situation, then hit a fly ball to score Youkilis on the sacrifice fly, and the score was now 2-1, and there was still only one out. Frank Robinson was up next, but only managed to ground into a fielder's choice. But he soon made up for his poor play by stealing second, putting the tying run into scoring position for Joe Cronin, who, in defiance of all logic, flied out to finish off the Bombers' four-game sweep, and give that team, downtrodden and useless as they may be, both the Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles.

Humungus responded the only sensible way, by ordering his men to burn down Oklahoma City in vengeance, and killing or maiming all who would get in their way. The people of Oklahoma City were powerless to resist these armed invaders, and the capital of Oklahoma was soon reduced to ashes. The governor of Oklahoma, captured by the Losers outside of the remains of the state capital building, was forced to announce, "The complete and utter surrender of the state of Oklahoma to the Lord Mayor Humungus. I would also like to apologize to Humungus, the ayatollah of rock and rolla, for allowing our state to become a safe haven for the Oklahoma City Bombers, and may Humungus take his horrifying revenge against them quickly and mercilessly."

As for mentholmoose, the title win was the culmination of seasons of struggle, "You know, for so long, I was worried that the entire league was rigged against me, but now I know that, in reality, I was never a pawn in some sort of horrifying conspiracy to conquer the Super-League. That was just paranoia borne of repeated failure. No, it looks like everything is going to work out-"

"I'm afraid I have some tough news for you, old sport," Viscount Slim said, appearing from out of nearby tunnel with the other four members of the Marauder Syndicate in tow.

"Yes, mentholmoose, it is sad, but your victory over the Losers was actually part of our long-term scheme to take control of all of the Super-League titles that, thanks to our excellence and some fortunate scheduling will now come to pass."

mentholmoose was very confused, "What?!"

Warm Sarsaparilla explained, "It's like this, my Coburns tried twice to beat those Losers and take their titles, but it just didn't work. Now, I don't know how you did it, but you beat them. And now we're going to beat you. I'm going to beat you. Next week, right here in Oklahoma City, we're going to have ourselves a unification match. My Canadian title against all them titles of yours."

Marauder nodded, "But that is not all. For too long, the Intercontinental and Television titles have eluded our control! But no longer! I have called in some favors, and I have devised a trap so cunning that virtually assures us of capturing both. First, we have arranged it so that the New World Symphony and Walney Rakers will wear each other out in a unification series. And then, whichever, if either, team is able to emerge with the title shall meet their doom! The weakened Rakers will be forced into a title series with the Gumshoes, while the Symphony will defend any titles they may hold at that point against my own Bangers. And, just to make sure that we don't happen to lose any of our own titles in the process, I have further arranged it so that the Imperialists will defend their Heavyweight Championship against the Coburns and Premodernists. You have played right into our hands, you stupid fool! Soon, every title shall be in Marauder Syndicate hands, and then we can move on to Phase Two!"

Despite this confusing revelation, mentholmoose remained steadfast, to the extent he was able, "Well, okay, this might have all been part of your plan, I think...it's really, really, confusing, so I might not understand exactly what you did, but if you think that the Coburns can just walk in here and sweep me. Well, I mean, they might be able to, so....uh....gently caress. drat it! The one time I let my guard down, a super-conspiracy takes place right behind my back, I'm the worst conspiracy theorist ever. gently caress."

GAME NOTES

NotThatSamBeckett then tried to clarify the situation:

"-First, the Walney Rakers (Intercontinental Title) will face the New World Symphony (Television Title) in a unification series. If the Rakers unify, they will immediately face the Gumshoes in a series where both titles will be on the line. If the Symphony unify, they will immediately face the Bangers in a series where both titles will be on the line. If neither team unifies, they'll still put their respective titles on the line against the aforementioned opponents.

-Second, the Burma Imperialists and Coburns will face each other in a unification match for the Canadian and Heavyweight Titles, but, you know, since they're bros, they probably will just give the title back if one of them wins it, I guess. Anyway, then the Coburns face the Bombers in another unification series, the unified Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles against whatever titles the Coburns might be holding onto at that point. I guess it's possible that after next week, the eight secondary titles will be held by only two teams, or something.

-As for what me and the Premodernists are doing? Me and Denny Rainwater are going to keep it real. Also, we'll face the Imperialists in the second series of the week to make sure that they don't lose their title to a non-Syndicate team. I guess I probably shouldn't tell you guys this, but this wasn't actually our masterplan. We thought that the Losers were going to beat the Bombers for sure, and so I was scheduled to face the Losers early next week. Of course, that means that there is actually one tiny flaw in the plan, if the Bombers get swept in their early week series against the Misers, then we'd never get a chance to win those titles. That'd be a real bummer.

You know what, it's still super-confusing. gently caress it, I tried."

Box Score

Don May posted:

ST. MARK BELLHORN CASTS GENERICS TO CRUSHING DEFEAT

Florida City- Do not ask for whom the Bellhorn tolls, kw0134, for it tolls for thee!

The Generics thought they had this one won.

Granted, their offense had come up almost empty, with their only run being scored on a Mike Pizza home run in the top of the eighth, but their own pitchers had been more than up to the task, not allowing a single Oranges run through the first eight innings. Billy Wagner, with his screaming fastball would certainly be able to get the final three outs. The Generics would get the win and with it, one step closer to avoiding the Gauntlet, that nightmare that culls the weak and had already claimed two of kw0134's teams in past seasons.

The Oranges, however, had a foolproof plan for beating Billy Wagner: wait him out. Bonds started off the inning, and refused to swing at a single Wagner offering, taking four straight balls to get on base. Bonds, knowing that Mike Pizza's arm was not particularly good for a catcher, then stole second base to move into scoring position with no outs. Wagner, distracted by the stolen base, then uncorked a wild pitch, allowing Bonds to take third. Pujols then immediately took advantage, hitting a single into right field, scoring Bonds and tying the game. Billy Wagner then, finally mercifully got an out, striking out Kiki Cuyler. But then Alan Trammell and Joe Mauer drew walks of their own, The bases were now loaded with only one out, and Wagner appeared on the verge of losing it.

But Wagner still had a few tricks up his sleeve, and managed to set Wade Boggs down on strikes which, given Boggs' reputation as an elite contact hitter, was one hell of an accomplishment for the Generics' reliever. The pitcher's spot was due up next, and oldskool was clearly going to send in a pinch-hitter with two outs. oldskool had some good options. To this point in the game, the only pinch-hitter he had used was Pat Collins, the least of his bench bats. He still had Dick Allen, that fearsome slugger waiting in the wings. Tim Raines, one of the greatest leadoff men ever was sitting on the bench. He also had a duo of hall of famers, Goose Goslin and Nap Lajoie available. All would have been fine choices.

But this was not a time for logic, it was time for...destiny. And so oldskool made the only reasonable choice, calling on the Super-League's only saint, Mark Bellhorn to guide his team to glory. No doubt this was confusing to Billy Wagner. He had just faced Bonds, Pujols, Cuyler, Trammell, Mauer and Boggs, and now all that was standing in his way was Mark Bellhorn. How could this possibly go wrong?

Well, Wagner could walk Bellhorn on five pitches, driving in the winning run. And, in fact, that is what happened.

oldskool was pleased with himself, "You know, brother, old oldskool has managed a lot of players over the years, but there's no one who's ever been better than Mark Bellhorn. He's the future of baseball, brother. And I'm proud to be his mentor. He really did me proud today, and he did the Oranges proud, brother. And I just think he's the next big superstar in this business."

Obviously, the end of the game did not sit well with kw0134, "Mark loving Bellhorn? We lost to Mark loving Bellhorn? Yeah, I know that there are a lot of idiots out there who believe in this whole Super-League mythology, but I am a man of reason, and there is no reasonable explanation for what the hell just happened to us. I am appealing the results of this game to the Commissar, and filing a motion to bar this clearly fraudulent Mark Bellhorn from doing any more harm to the league. This outcome is a travesty, and I promise you all that I will do everything in my power to fight it, not only for my own sake, but for the sake of greater justice in the Super-League."

GAME NOTE

-An Excerpt from the Book of Bellhorn:

"And the demiurge spoke unto the Nephilim:
Oh, make me a man of supreme talents
He who can hit one score of circuit clouts
And may he play all infield positions, with passable skill
And let him walk unto eternity, make him patient
And the Nephilim spoke as one:
"That dude is going to strike out like 200 times a season, boss."
And the demiurge laughed,
Then may we all enjoy the cool breeze of his swings and misses
And so it was done.

Box Score

Don May posted:

BATTERED SYMPHONY HANG ON FOR ONE MORE WEEK, DRUB PLUNDER CORP. 7-1

Scranton- The Symphony are probably going to win the Senor Goodtimes Division this season, which would mark the third time in a row that mrnoun has captured that honor, with three different teams, no less, but it's not going to be easy or fun.

The injuries on the Symphony have been piling up over the last few weeks, Scott Rolen suffered a season-ending injury, followed soon after by Jim Fregosi. The Symphony's pitching staff has been plagued by a variety of nagging afflictions as well, and it appears that Urban Shocker may be slowly disintegrating as the season goes on. All in all, while the Symphony, at the moment, at least, hold a comfortable five-game lead over the Muggers, who themselves have a 4.5 game lead for the first wildcard, these injuries will likely make it much more difficult for mrnoun to win an unprecedented third straight Super-League Championship, which would also tie him with Marauder and TKBomber for the most Super-League Championships by a single owner.

Compounding his troubles, despite his latest escape, the Marauder Syndicate, in all of its cunning and deceit, has made public their plans to snare the Television Title that mrnoun has held both with the New World Symphony and their predecessors, the Galactic Wanderers, for over 30 weeks, by forcing the Symphony, in the upcoming week, to first defend its title in a Unification Series against the Walney Rakers, who have been the hottest team in the Smasher League over the past two months, and then, should they somehow survive that, handle the Fukuoka Finger-Bangers, the Syndicate's most decorated team, in a three games series. It hasn't been easy for the Symphony and it's not getting any easier.

Still, mrnoun tried to look on the bright side, "At least Dizzy Dean is back, that gives me a bit of breathing room, even though, with Fregosi out, I guess I have no choice but to put Ron Cey back at 3B, which is not ideal, since how much faith can you have in a guy whose nickname was 'The Penguin' because he kind of waddled when he ran. As for Marauder's plan to take my TV Title, well, I've held it for what, 35 weeks or something? He's had his chances to take it from me, and he's failed every single time. Also, I'm still not entirely sure how his conspiracy is supposed to work. I find it deeply, deeply confusing on a number of levels."

As for the Plunder Corp., they were as ornery and bitter as ever, with CthulhuDreams and mks5000 at loggerheads over whether to trade in their mystery box for a bye to the next season. "I say we use the box!" Bellowed CthulhuDreams, "I would have rather unleashed its horrible might upon the Super-League, humiliating our enemies with its incredible power that, by rule, must never be spoken out loud. As great as it would be to use its power, the first priority of the Plunder Corp. must be survival! We cannot risk this team's existence on the promise of some day being able to use our doomsday weapon on an unsuspecting Super-League. We must give up the box, loathe though I am to do so!"

mks5000 disagreed, "The box is our greatest weapon, our greatest asset. If the Plunder Corp. are ever to achieve greatness, it will be thanks to the contents of this box which, as was previously alluded to, must never be known to the world before the time is right. This box can change everything, and I will not let your cowardice cause us to miss out on this great opportunity. We must hold onto the box, waiting for just the right moment, and then activating it when our opponents least suspect it! Better to die a hero than live as a coward!"

IceMole had a third opinion, "And I say that...we should order a pizza, maybe? I mean, I'm thinking sausage and green pepper, but, you know, I figure this is a Plunder Corp. decision so I should give you guys some say-so on it. Also, I think thin-crust is the way to go, because pan pizza is usually kind of disappointing and all."

GAME NOTES

-I'm pretty sure that CthulhuDreams may literally fly in from Australia just to assault me in person now that a billion year-old Dizzy Dean threw a complete game against the Plunder Corp., especially given how I railed against his Josh Gibson and Oscar Charleston being too young and old respectively. In my defense, life can be hilariously cruel, and the Super-League crueler still.

-Josh Gibson hit his 34th home run, proving for once and all that my creation of Gibson within the Mogul engine is both accurate and equitable, of that, there can be no question.

Box Score

Don May posted:

TRUES STORM BACK LATE, WIN OVER BANGERS 9-2

Fukuoka- The Trues made their point, whatever it was.

While it does not seem likely that the Trues will over come the Bangers for the Mark Bellhorn Division championship, as they are eight games back with only six weeks left in the season, they made a strong showing as to why they are one of the favorites to secure a wildcard berth in the Smasher League, which would give them another chance in Super-League XII to finally overcome their hated foes. Down 2-1 in the eighth inning, the Trues scored eight unanswered runs to win in a rout, 9-2, as their offense finally turned it on in the late innings. Even better, they were able to find sources of offense outside of the Outfield of Doom, as Hank Greenberg and George Kell both homered.

"Okay, I know that Smasher has been finding it difficult to use this Everett True gimmick, so I found some more comics that might be helpful," Trues' owner McFreeze explained. "Like in this one, Everett True is walking by the headquarters of Tammany Hall where two guys are talking about the spoils system. And then Everett hits them from behind and says, "Who's spoiled now?" or the time that he meets a rotund caricature of Kaiser Wilhelm II, and pushes him down a hill before saying, "Now that's a Kaiser Roll!" Oh, here's a good one. Everett True marches into the office of Emile Zola and throws him out a window, before saying, "Dreyfuss deserves Devil's Island, and you deserve the devil himself!" Okay, that one might be going a bit far."

Marauder was not pleased, and he made his displeasure known in a typically Marauder way, "The Trues are irrelevant. Now and forever. As to their continued existence, well, such things are to be expected. Take the Champions League in Europe which, in a certain sense, is a spiritual cousin of the Super-League, at least in its aspirations to match greatness. Even in that competition, it is necessary, for various reasons, to include clearly uncompetitive teams. Allow me, if you will, to elaborate.

"The premier football league of San Marino is guaranteed that one of its teams will be allowed to compete. For those who don't know, San Marino is a tiny republic in Italy. It is said to be the world's oldest surviving republic. Of course, up until the 19th century, the Italian peninsula was composed of many microstates, albeit ones significantly larger ones, before they were consolidated over the course of that century into the modern state of Italy. The only thing special about San Marino is that those great Italian unifiers looked at San Marino and said to themselves that these people were not worth the trouble. Yes, that great beacon of civilization that brought us Berlusconi thought that San Marino was not quite up to snuff. And they still get a team into the Champions league.

"Andorra gets a team into the Champions League. What is Andorra? Simply put, it's a tax haven. Technically, it is a feudal fief that is co-ruled by the president of France and the Bishop of Urquell, which is a form of government that neatly demonstrates the peculiar attachment that Europeans have to tradition, even in the face of crushing obsolescence. It has no significant population, and it only continues to exist because it's a great place to have a shell corporation headquartered in, or to bank there, frankly, I do not even care enough to discover the nature of their corrupt tax loopholes. I suppose that demonstrates the European tolerance of technocratic corruption, though.

"Finally, the Faeroe Islands get a team into the Champions League. The Faeroe Islands, for those who don't know, are a possession of the Danish crown, a group of subarctic islands that are perpetually shrouded by clouds. They are some of least sunny places on Earth, and, even during the summer, the temperature rarely rises above 60 degrees Fahrenheit. My point about these places is that, even though they place their teams into the Champions League, they are only there as a formality. Real Madrid does not live in fear of the champions of San Marino. Bayern Munchen does not shrink in terror at the sight of the greatest team in Andorra's history. Manchester United does not send its top players to fend off the Faeroe Islands. The Everett Trues are part of the Super-League, I have no choice but to concede that. But they are not my competition, and they never will be. Not this season, not next season, not in one hundred seasons."

GAME NOTES

-Toby Harrah also made two errors at shortstop, because he just wanted to remind you that he was a no-field, all-hit middle infielder before they were cool, and was, in a certain sense, the spiritual antecedent of players like Mark Bellhorn, though significantly better than the saint of the Super-League.

Box Score

Team Statistics

Analysis

You built a good rotation, at least.

Analysis

Okay, so getting a winning season is now impossible, but you can still play for Gauntlet position!

Analysis

I think Joe Wood should be this good. If his arm hadn't exploded, he'd be an easy Hall of Famer.

Analysis

Well, it's time for another Colliders/Pirates series to determine who is the rightful champion of the Sic Transit Vir division.

I'm personally more curious to see if one of your Ruths can hit 50 home runs.

Analysis

Lefty Grove and Ted Williams are keeping your team alive. Irony.

Analysis

Gehringer has a 97 contact rating. I'm not sure how much more I can do for him.

Analysis

Looks like the Coburns have two Unification Series coming up next week. Do it, Coburns, become sextuple-Champions.

Analysis

Comrade, the Politburo has met in secret session, and they are not pleased.

Analysis

The Muggers, W's and Trues fighting for the wildcards? I feel like I'm stuck in a time loop.

Analysis

Institutional Competence!

Analysis

Wake me up when the playoffs come.

Analysis

How many teams must Adrian Beltre destroy before he's stopped?

Analysis

Live by the Hawk Harrelson, die by the Hawk Harrelson.

Analysis

On the plus side, the reasons this team didn't do too well is easily explicable, so if you make another team next EC, and you should, you can learn from this experience.

Analysis

A lot of EC team should be looking carefully at the components of this team.

Analysis

Doug Jones is your closer. Do you think you might have a few bullpen issues?

Analysis

At least the Mets are memorable.

Analysis

Cy Williams managed to get knocked out for the season before getting a single plate appearance. That's drat impressive.

Analysis

Ron Cey is going to be your third baseman. There's no other choice.

Analysis

.500 today. .500 forever.

Analysis

How the gently caress did that happen?

Analysis

Way to screw it all up by not beating the Bombers, NotThatSamBeckett.

Analysis

Plund on, Plunder Corp.!

Analysis

Still have an outside shot to make the playoffs.

Analysis

How could this have happened?

Analysis

Well, you get another chance to win back your division lead. Lucky you.

Analysis

Consistently inconsistent, as usual.

Analysis

An easy week coming up. Make the most out of it.

Analysis

Almost a decent team now.

Analysis

That was bad.

Analysis

Your pitching staff appears to have self-combusted.

Analysis

Maybe a team can bat near .300 for a full season in the Super-League after all.

Standings

# ? Oct 18, 2013 00:41

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

e: see below

Monicro fucked around with this message at 01:05 on Oct 18, 2013

# ? Oct 18, 2013 00:52

TheFlyingLlama: Jan 2, 2013; You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?

Hey Pash, you made a decision on the DiMaggio Auction yet?

# ? Oct 18, 2013 00:55

Monathin: Sep 1, 2011; ?????????
?

gently caress it. I've had it up to here with the Mechanical Man's poo poo. CAST HIM TO THE WINDBAG MINES, CALL UP BUDDY MYER.

Also, I guess Noted rear end in a top hat, Jeff Heath gets more time to shine since Billy is loving falling apart on me. Billy to the bench, Heath to LF.

I have no idea what my lineup should even be anymore, I guess-

1) 2B Myer
2) CF Platoon
3) 1B McGwire
4) RF Ramirez
5) DH Murray
6) C Mauer
7) SS Nomar
8) 3B Edgar
9) LF Heath

All aboard the Gauntlet train! :shepicide:

# ? Oct 18, 2013 00:56

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

wait I'm dumb I forgot you can DH guys do this instead

Put Grace at DH and McGwire at 1B

Also call up Zack Wheat (send down Sosa to make room) and platoon him with Winfield

# ? Oct 18, 2013 01:04

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

#yolo

New Vegas High Rollers

Four-man rotation, Blyleven in at fourth starter

# ? Oct 18, 2013 01:11

ToiletofSadness: Mar 27, 2010

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Analysis

How could this have happened?

Damnable bullpen decides to crumble into dust 2 months before the end of the season... Let's address that first

Send Sabathia to the DL.
Shoot JJ Putz into the sun (or AAA, whichever is easier).
Recall Cliff Lee from AAA.
Bring Wetteland back from the DL.

New bullpen configuration:
CL Smoltz
SU Bedrosian
SR Wetteland
SR Rhodes
MR Hernandez
LR Lee

New lineup to return Thomas and Cronin back to their starting roles:
vs RHP
2B Alomar
LF Speaker
SS Cronin
CF Charleston
1B Thomas
RF Robinson
C Torre/Martinez
3B Frisch
P Pitcher

# ? Oct 18, 2013 01:17

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

Platoon Andre Dawson with Ruppert Jones

Wait for the 0-7 week.

# ? Oct 18, 2013 01:35

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

Time to insert Heilmann into the lineup:

1. LF - Henderson
2. 2B - Collins
3. CF - Bonds
4. RF - Ramirez
5. C - Torre/Berra Platoon
6. 1B - Heilmann
7. 3B - Santo
8. SS - Vaughan
9. P

And since Mike Timeline is healthy, Timeline to Wakefield's SR spot, Wakefield to MR, and Scott to AAA.

# ? Oct 18, 2013 01:42

Ice To Meet You: Mar 5, 2007

You know what, since there is an off day, leave the lineup as is, but set defensive replacements to +5.

# ? Oct 18, 2013 01:50

Revenant Threshold: Jan 1, 2008

I'd say that I didn't know what happened to my pitching, but it'd be more accurate to say their previous non-sucking was the strange state of affairs.

# ? Oct 18, 2013 01:50

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 25, 2024 21:18

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

Monathin posted:

gently caress it. I've had it up to here with the Mechanical Man's poo poo. CAST HIM TO THE WINDBAG MINES, CALL UP BUDDY MYER.

Also, I guess Noted rear end in a top hat, Jeff Heath gets more time to shine since Billy is loving falling apart on me. Billy to the bench, Heath to LF.

I have no idea what my lineup should even be anymore, I guess-

1) 2B Myer
2) CF Platoon
3) 1B McGwire
4) RF Ramirez
5) DH Murray
6) C Mauer
7) SS Nomar
8) 3B Edgar
9) LF Heath

All aboard the Gauntlet train!

I desperately need another infielder to cover for all the injuries--Ron Cey's been awful.
You look like you could really use another starting pitcher to cover for Dutch Leonard's injury--Wes Farrell's been awful.

Your Gehringer's been bad, but he SHOULD be good. Maybe he just needs a change of scenery.
My Sutton's been bad, but he SHOULD be good. Maybe he just needs a change of scenery.

I propose we swap them until the end of the season. Then, if we both survive, we can swap back and take our chances again next year.

# ? Oct 18, 2013 02:39

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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