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BrainParasite posted:I think we could wait for the medication to equalize a bit before we abandon all hope. We could, but should we? Lots of people go through depression; I'm sure you've gone through it, too. But did you just sit there and wait for whatever aid you got, be it interpersonal or chemical, to kick in and somehow drive you towards your goal, or did you use that aid to give you the spark of energy to realize your pre-existing initiative to better yourself? Wasn't it you that took that first painful step out of bed, even though you felt you weren't ready, so that you could spite your goddamn depression and set yourself on the path to becoming the man or woman you always wanted to be? If the will to get better isn't there, then medication isn't going to do poo poo. Benny's got that thing going on where he's waiting for himself to get responsible enough to hold down a job, but he's making no moves towards becoming that person. He's disassociated himself to the point that he's counting on his future self to pick up his slack and fix his life because he's too lazy and irresponsible to get up and do something productive today. Let's be real: Benny doesn't want to work, he just wants to have something to point at when he goes "Look man, I tried" when his mom threatens to throw out his comics again. e:this thread is ten months old, and Benny hasn't aged a bit.
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Oct 28, 2013 22:31
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Sawboss Jones posted:We could, but should we? Lots of people go through depression; I'm sure you've gone through it, too. But did you just sit there and wait for whatever aid you got, be it interpersonal or chemical, to kick in and somehow drive you towards your goal, or did you use that aid to give you the spark of energy to realize your pre-existing initiative to better yourself? Have you had to go through the song and dance of getting on an SSRI? Sleeping all day is a possible side effect, so is becoming an emotional zombie, etc. He's already said he doesn't like what the meds he's on is doing because he's losing physical drive and he wants to change that. I bet there are quite a few goons in this thread alone who had to change their meds more than once to find the balance between "I'm depressed and don't want to do anything" and "I feel mentally better but gently caress I'm too tired to even do anything". I bolded a part because that's literally something that has to happen when you get on an SSRI. Mayo Clinic posted:Each person may react differently to a particular antidepressant and may be more susceptible to certain side effects. Because of this, one antidepressant may work better for you than another, or your doctor may prescribe a combination. So yes, the medical advice is to WAIT FOR IT TO KICK IN
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Oct 28, 2013 22:52
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Sawboss Jones posted:We could, but should we? Lots of people go through depression; Schizophrenia is a whole different ball of wax from low level depression.
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Oct 28, 2013 22:58
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Dead Cow posted:Have you had to go through the song and dance of getting on an SSRI? Yes, and I'm sure lots of others have too. But where does it say in the Mayo Clinic article you quoted to sit around jobless until you get your meds right? And poo poo, of course he's sleeping all day, he hasn't got a job, goons are telling him working out is going to be "too hard" on him, and he does nothing but play video games and post on here all day. I'm sure someone's going to misconstrue what I'm saying and think I'm attacking mentally ill people, but for Christ's sake, this is the guy who was posting about "nuclear options" just a few pages ago. e: I also just realized, you misunderstood me: I'm asking if you wait for it to 'grow you up' and solve all your problems, or did you use it as a person would use a cane? The 'kick' in part is irrelevant, since it applies in both cases. I don't know why you zoomed in on that. BrainParasite posted:Schizophrenia is a whole different ball of wax from low level depression. For real? I had no idea. I must be really lucky to have not gotten fired from my job yet. Impatient Skype JO fucked around with this message at 23:41 on Oct 28, 2013 |
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Oct 28, 2013 23:15
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Sawboss Jones posted:Yes, and I'm sure lots of others have too. But where does it say in the Mayo Clinic article you quoted to sit around jobless until you get your meds right? And poo poo, of course he's sleeping all day, he hasn't got a job, goons are telling him working out is going to be "too hard" on him, and he does nothing but play video games and post on here all day. I'm sure someone's going to misconstrue what I'm saying and think I'm attacking mentally ill people, but for Christ's sake, this is the guy who was posting about "nuclear options" just a few pages ago. I must have misunderstood you. Benny seems to be doing better but the lethargy is getting to him. On Oct 3rd he said he was tutoring, then a few weeks later he said he's having difficulties because he believes the meds are making him lethargic, then a bunch of goons jumped on him for playing pokeman. I see him as having issues adjusting to the medication and it takes time. If he plays pokeman in his down time that's fine as long as he is in fact making efforts to get his meds adjusted and his future on track. To me it seems like the assumption that he "does nothing but play video games" is faulting him for his hobbies. He also reads and posts on the forum. What would you expect him to do if he's to lethargic to get up and do anything physically productive? If he puts in applications and his doctor's appointment is in the future and he's at the point where he's just waiting to feel better, is he just supposed to twiddle his thumbs and stare at the ceiling? Once again Benny's in wait and see mode. Hopefully he will get a job and he will feel better and he can be more productive. I'm honestly rooting for him. He lives in a fairly lovely part of California where it's suburb hell and all the jobs tend to be retail, or you need a friend or family member to get you a job, or you get stuck in the "need a car to get to work, go to work to pay for this car" loop.
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Oct 29, 2013 00:04
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benny I see you are a sexless, unemployed manchild who plays pokemon. come to YCS, friend.
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Oct 29, 2013 04:26
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Just to let you all know, I'm not playing Pokemon all day. I have an interview this Wednesday. I'm doing my best to find work and I think the fact that I got an interview soon shows that I'm doing something right. I've also re-applied to Target. I know that I probably have a snowball's chance in hell of getting re-hired but since the holiday season is right around the corner, I figure there's no harm in doing so. I'll let you guys know how the interview goes. EDIT: Applied at a different location. Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 06:43 on Oct 29, 2013 |
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Oct 29, 2013 06:13
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Benny the Snake posted:Applying to jobs like mad. Good news is I'm no longer paranoid: bad news is I'm lethargic. I sleep in 'till 11 now and there are days where I'll nap for five hours straight. I'm going to see a new psychiatrist and talk to him about the lethargy. I swear it must be the meds. How much did you sleep before the meds? What was your usual wake up time?
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Oct 29, 2013 22:47
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Ms. Happiness posted:How much did you sleep before the meds? What was your usual wake up time?
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Oct 30, 2013 03:23
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I had horrible issues with tiredness on some meds when we were still trying to figure out the right combination. It's a real thing and it sucks and it's really hard to deal with because you still feel depressed but also additionally lazy as well. On the other hand, it might be worthwhile to get a regular physical just to make sure there isn't something else going on, because there was a six month period when I was 17 where I slept all night, slept through at least two classes each day, and slept from about 3-6 in the evening as well. We all thought it was a side effect from a medication (I don't even know which, it was so long ago) but it turned out I had mono. I just never had the sore throat or swollen glands. Oops.
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Oct 30, 2013 04:06
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Benny the Snake posted:I'd sleep eight hours from midnight to eight in the morning. Now I sleep eleven hours from midnight to eleven in the morning. I'm seeing my psych Saturday. Can you not go to bed before midnight? If you went to bed at 10 you'd still be getting up at a somewhat reasonable time..
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Oct 30, 2013 17:08
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Benny the Snake posted:I won't have someone tell me that I'm being a pretentious tool or that I don't have a coherent thought process. This is who I am and I won't have anyone tell me otherwise. Ugh. You do not have a coherent thought process. Every time you post, more evidence is created to support said fact. This entire thread is based around your incoherent thought process From the original "Mom wants to throw away my comics!" issue to the zucchini, Target, loving EVERYTHING! How can you not see it? Haven't you ever wondered why all this poo poo happens? It's because your thought process is worse than any other EN poster's thought process. Let me make this clear. It's not that it's a poor thought process. As far as thought processes go, yours is bottom of the bucket, hosed. You need to realize this, accept it and address it with your therapist. Tell him/her "I think there's something wrong with my thought process." I've been trying to get this point across the entire thread! If you don't try to improve your thought process and refuse to accept that it's not good, you will continue to flounder through life and lose jobs and opportunities. I know, because I've been through it! I've lost multiple jobs and blown golden opportunities, because I didn't wanna come face to face, with the fact that there was something missing in my thought process. Once I got help, I realized it was a multitude of issues. I feel like a completely different person. I have drive and know what the gently caress I'm doing, professionally. I used to be the rear end in a top hat who always had to ask/couldn't figure it out myself out of fear of doing it wrong or not following procedure. Not anymore! I get it now. cname fucked around with this message at 19:21 on Oct 30, 2013 |
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Oct 30, 2013 19:16
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To his credit he's on meds and has a psychiatrist. That's a less delusional way of dealing than many E/N posters can manage.
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Oct 30, 2013 19:32
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Benny, I know there is a lot going on that has nothing to do with books, but since you asked for suggestions I will recommend you read some Alice Munro. Not because she won the Nobel, but because she published her first collection at the age of 37. She went out there and lived her life after dropping out of school, and after years and years of working and raising a family she had Dance of the Happy Shades published. I think you need a little of that optimism in your life right now, even though it feels like things are bleak. Additionally, she just writes short stories so you can read one and then put the book down and do something else while feeling like you've enriched yourself. Also, not to dogpile but there is no reason for you to stay up that late. Go to bed earlier, set your alarm, and get out of your bedroom for a reasonable breakfast. You can't expect things to really pick up for you in a positive way if you refuse to take care of yourself. I know that it is hard (and some days, impossible) to get moving when you are depressed, but you need to at least try. I hope you have a productive talk with your psych this weekend. Until then, try to think of 2 or 3 small things you can do that will actually make your life better in some way. Like an earlier bedtime and better start to the day!
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Oct 30, 2013 19:37
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People who are looking for jobs are allowed to read books. God damnit, goons are stupid sometimes.
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Oct 30, 2013 19:44
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Sawboss Jones posted:
"If your goals aren't affecting your actions TODAY, they're just dreams." - Arch's mom
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Oct 30, 2013 20:01
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I've posted this in other threads but I guess I never did it here. I'm guessing Benny's head is full of these: http://lesswrong.com/lw/21b/ It's not him consciously deciding not to do anything to improve, his brain has likely conditioned him to not even think about improving because the little progress he's made is painful. Everyone does this to a degree and getting out of it pretty hard, as it takes conscious vigilance to notice yourself flinching when you can.
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Oct 30, 2013 20:20
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Jeffrey posted:I've posted this in other threads but I guess I never did it here. I'm guessing Benny's head is full of these: http://lesswrong.com/lw/21b/ Please stop posting this stupid article. It is dumb as hell, poorly worded and doesn't help people and you post it in totally inappropriate threads (like the one about the guy who wants to live on disability??) Everyone has areas they won't touch and often it's good to recognize those and work them out with a professional. Sometimes it's better to let your brain set up some walls so you don't have to dwell on bad things or think about things that might send you into a destructive thought process. These things should be taken up with a therapist. Other than "everyone has these, neat", that article is worthless. Benny's issues right now are med management and building functional life skills. His thought processes may or may not be totally screwed up (we don't know because we aren't practicing mental health professionals who are seeing and treating Benny), but the fact that he undoubtedly has flinch spots (some of which may be related to feeling bad about not being independent yet even!) doesn't prove that and won't be some brilliant solution to repairing them. Benny you know what to do. See your mental health professional. If you're still waiting on therapy, see if your psych can do anything to help the process along (maybe a referral to a low-income place that won't take you without one?) Meanwhile I am honest to god going to bring up (again) the idea of moving to somewhere with better job prospects where you can get an office-type job suited to your skills. Yes it may be tough and I'm not saying move across the country, or do it today, or rush into it or anything. Just keep it in mind. And please, set some goals. Set two six -eight month goals, two one-year goals, a three month goal and a three year goal. Do you want to move? A job? What kind? A car? Grad school? A girlfriend? Learn to dance? Learn computer programming? Lift weights? Start and/or finish therapy? Try and make at least three of your total goals personal growth goals (not job/money related). You don't have to post them in the thread if you don't want and of course they'll probably change. But when you're not working towards something (like your degree before when you were in school) it can be harder to identify and visualize your idea of success. Listing goals was something I did with my psych to determine how well my meds were working, too. We made a list (I'm on add meds so for me it was watching a movie all the way through, a notable drop in anxiety even when I don't have my phone, good functioning during work hours, etc). Having concrete goals helped me decide if the meds were worth it and were working, and noticing them work made me feel better 
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Oct 30, 2013 20:51
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Benny, what is your mating status? when was the last time you did? have you ever? Are you even Trying? I'm sure somethings are going right for you
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Oct 31, 2013 03:32
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Jizznastics posted:Benny, what is your mating status? when was the last time you did? have you ever? Are you even Trying? I'm sure somethings are going right for you I have to imagine that the reason this question hasn't been asked through the almost-year that this thread has been around is because everyone already knows the answer.
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Oct 31, 2013 18:32
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InEscape posted:Try and make at least three of your total goals personal growth goals (not job/money related). You don't have to post them in the thread if you don't want and of course they'll probably change. But when you're not working towards something (like your degree before when you were in school) it can be harder to identify and visualize your idea of success. Benny, this is really solid advice that I can vouch for. I felt very directionless, too, until I sat down with my therapist and thought about what I really wanted in the long term. Having big goals broken down makes it so much easier to find motivation. Especially when depression makes it hard to find the worth in doing more trivial things (like waking up at a decent hour). You said you had a job interview scheduled yesterday. How did it go?
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Oct 31, 2013 18:51
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If you went to bed at 10 you'd be up by 9 and could eat eggs with your parents you piece of poo poo.
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Nov 2, 2013 06:47
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Benny just apply for disability, get rejected the first time like nearly everyone else, re-apply, and use it to get your head figured out. And cross your fingers that your parents will support you that long.
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Nov 2, 2013 12:01
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Is your brother working at all? Do y'all help your parents around the house?
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Nov 2, 2013 12:43
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Fabulist posted:Benny just apply for disability, get rejected the first time like nearly everyone else, re-apply, and use it to get your head figured out. Benny, don't listen to this suggestion. The last thing you need right now is another reason to not hold down a job.
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Nov 2, 2013 15:22
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Sawboss Jones posted:Benny, don't listen to this suggestion. The last thing you need right now is another reason to not hold down a job. He's made it pretty clear he can't hold down a job. He quite liked the Target job, as far as jobs go, and was eager to keep it, yet lost it, and lost it because he thought too much about how to handle a mistake plenty of cart-movers make. I've talked to him quite a bit, mostly before this thread. He is not a functioning adult. His thought processes are skewed waaaaay beyond some ugh fields. Disability, as lovely as it is, is the best way to get him out of that house. He can (and hopefully will) make progress while he's living with his parents, but he'll be able to make more once he's not living in adolescent fear of his mom lighting his prized possessions on fire, and gets a taste of independence/freedom/progress. Also, with his own apartment, he might actually be able to get laid and stop focusing so much time on getting laid. I stopped talking to him because, even after this thread was months old, every time we spoke, he was telling me his new plan to get hosed. Maybe a sentence about the job hunt/how work was going, if I asked. I'm not encouraging him to give up, and I definitely don't mean 'stay on disability for the rest of your life, Benny.' He has far more mental issues than he's specified in this thread, partially because he doesn't know about them. I feel it's better to take the time now to tackle and deal with those issues than to keep getting and losing jobs because he over thinks everything for the next five, ten, however many years. The younger a person is, the easier it is, relatively, to deal with mental health issues. (Sorry Benny, you're a nice dude, you're just up to your chin in problems that aren't easily solved)
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Nov 3, 2013 11:21
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Fabulist, I'm really not trying to be a dick or a Mod or anything but some of the details of your post make me a little uncomfortable. Even though those details might be stuff that we've all guessed about Benny the Snake.
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Nov 3, 2013 19:23
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It's stuff I've posted about him before. I'm not trying to shame him. Also, the details I've shared are from conversations we had after I initially posted in this thread, and shared similar details. There was one thing he asked me not to post, and I didn't (he has since shared it with the thread). There are also plenty of specifics I'm leaving out, because they're not necessary. I don't have the time to nurse/babysit him through conversations, so I no longer talk with him one on one. I still want him to overcome his issues and become a happy, functional adult, though. At this point, I truly do not believe he can hold down a job, and I truly believe the best course for him would be to focus on therapy. If the medications help, fantastic, but therapy is where a lot of his skewed mental processes will be addressed, and where he can learn to change them. Living with his parents is a situation that causes him stress, and could end at any moment. Disability seems like the only way to guarantee he has financial stability at a certain point. I'm really not trying to shame him or anything, I just think it's ridiculous that the thread is still quizzing him about his resume and acting like advice from an internet thread alone can cure his issues.
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Nov 3, 2013 19:48
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Not everyone has gotten the insite that you have, Fabulist.
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Nov 3, 2013 20:35
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Fabulist posted:... I just think it's ridiculous that the thread is still quizzing him about his resume and acting like advice from an internet thread alone can cure his issues. I don't doubt that you have insight into his issues because you two have talked at length. I would just feel terrible if he thought that we were dogpiling. Edit- not that I think this should discourage him, but isn't getting on disability as young person with a short employment history a years-long process in the US?
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Nov 3, 2013 20:57
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Uncle Salty posted:This is worth quoting. I think you're right. But the fact that Benny is seeing a doctor is the number one reason that I keep rooting for him. He's trying. From experience, I can say yes. If he does this, he should get a lawyer from the beginning.I didn't, and that was a stupid mistake. I'm still fighting for it, and I have mental and physical problems.
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Nov 3, 2013 21:47
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Uncle Salty posted:This is worth quoting. I think you're right. But the fact that Benny is seeing a doctor is the number one reason that I keep rooting for him. He's trying. It is incredibly difficult to get on disability. It's not just a matter of "oh, you can't work? Here's some money!" Especially considering that Benny's issues are psychological, and not outwardly visible. From what I understand from quick googling, it's going to be best for Benny if he keeps trying to get a job. If he can hold it down, he won't need the disability. If he can't, then that helps to prove that he's unable to work. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, though. If disability is going to be the help that Benny needs to get his life straightened out, though, then he should absolutely look into it and begin the process as soon as possible.
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Nov 4, 2013 14:37
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Megedy posted:It is incredibly difficult to get on disability. It's not just a matter of "oh, you can't work? Here's some money!" Especially considering that Benny's issues are psychological, and not outwardly visible. From what I understand from quick googling, it's going to be best for Benny if he keeps trying to get a job. If he can hold it down, he won't need the disability. If he can't, then that helps to prove that he's unable to work. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, though. This is basically the case pretty much everywhere in the US. You're always denied at least once, often twice or three times - at that point you should definitely have a lawyer handling your case, if not from the start. I went through this process some years ago from a work injury and got denied three times, and I couldn't physically do poo poo, and they made me go to like 10 different doctors to get opinions, drug in all my mental health records on top of it and made me go see government sanctioned mental health therapists for assessments even though that was literally NO part of why I was asking for disability. They ended up tacking that on to the end of it though, and decided that based on their doctor's findings my anxiety alone is bad enough that I would never be able to work in a public environment. Never mind the fact that I have chronic pain issues so bad most days getting out of bed is a challenge, and hemorrhaged disks in my back to the point that I can't lift anything over 10lbs. The long and the short of my point is - disability sucks to get, and it's lame to have to depend on, especially when you don't have a huge work history or never worked many well-paying jobs (I never worked much beyond minimum wage stuff, and I was a dog groomer when I injured myself and became unable to work.) There are supplements you can apply for, however, that will boost the amount you draw. Having spoken to Benny on several occasions... well, I don't want to reveal any of the private stuff he's told me like some other posters have, but I'll just say that based on his mental state alone he really does seem to need more help than what a simple therapist-and-med regiment can give him. Getting a social life, however, can be really hard when you don't have the money to support it and live with your parents - no friends over, no late nights, you know the deal. Getting out of that house would be the best thing for him, and unfortunately disability might be his only hope. :/
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Nov 4, 2013 21:24
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That drat Satyr posted:This is basically the case pretty much everywhere in the US. You're always denied at least once, often twice or three times - at that point you should definitely have a lawyer handling your case, if not from the start. I went through this process some years ago from a work injury and got denied three times, and I couldn't physically do poo poo, and they made me go to like 10 different doctors to get opinions, drug in all my mental health records on top of it and made me go see government sanctioned mental health therapists for assessments even though that was literally NO part of why I was asking for disability. They ended up tacking that on to the end of it though, and decided that based on their doctor's findings my anxiety alone is bad enough that I would never be able to work in a public environment. Never mind the fact that I have chronic pain issues so bad most days getting out of bed is a challenge, and hemorrhaged disks in my back to the point that I can't lift anything over 10lbs. That is a federal program, though, right? Don't some states have state welfare programs for people who are temporarily unfit for work?
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Nov 5, 2013 00:47
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Angela Christine posted:That is a federal program, though, right? Don't some states have state welfare programs for people who are temporarily unfit for work? Some do, but they aren't always heavily publicized and are inundated now due to the economic downturn. That's one of the reasons why I kept pushing for Benny to go to GoodWill and the Department of Labor earlier in the thread. They know what the state resources are and can point you in the direction of legal help and show you how these things work. But, ya know...that didn't happen.
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Nov 5, 2013 02:06
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Morby posted:Some do, but they aren't always heavily publicized and are inundated now due to the economic downturn. That's one of the reasons why I kept pushing for Benny to go to GoodWill and the Department of Labor earlier in the thread. They know what the state resources are and can point you in the direction of legal help and show you how these things work. But, ya know...that didn't happen. That, plus alot of the state level programs can have strange limitations - ie the fact that Benny lives with his parents means that they might be claiming him as some manner of dependent, which could complecate things (in some states parents can claim children into their 20's, which can also make getting federal assistance for anything - even education a huge pain in the rear end. As an example he FAFSA considers you a dependant until you're 24 - or at least thats how it was when I tried to get a PELL grant many years ago.) My thought is that at this point in his life Benny really more than anything just needs an advocate or like.... I dunno, a social worker to help him get where he neds to go. As I mentioned, I've spoke to him a bit privately and even helped him check out some job prospects since he's not very good at internet detectiving the companies to find out if they're scammy... But theres only so much one person can do, over the internet, especially when hoardes of other people have been shouting basically the same advice.
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Nov 5, 2013 03:19
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Throw out your mother. Or move. Moving would be easier.
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Nov 5, 2013 06:48
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Motherfucker posted:Throw out your mother. His mother is the only one in the family with a job.
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Nov 5, 2013 08:47
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Angela Christine posted:His mother is the only one in the family with a job. Well there's your problem!
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Nov 5, 2013 09:40
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Screw disability, Benny needs to get his own TLC/Discovery Health special, "The World's Least Capable Man" or something
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Nov 5, 2013 23:16
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