Star Trek: ...And The Neckbeards Shall Post

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > Star Trek: ...And The Neckbeards Shall Post

Adam Bowen: Jan 6, 2003; This post probably contains a Rickroll link!

Sash! posted:

You know what's even more insane? I'm pretty sure no one has had that "Everyone is Lowtax except you" title for 12 years. Hell, its been so long I can't even remember what it actually said.

I feel like Kor right now.

I bet you can't remember what it said, Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka

# ? Nov 3, 2013 19:33

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 12:40

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Echo Chamber posted:

This is probably the case, but the show sucks anyway. It's quite clear they didn't have any real story plans and most (but not all) of the characters are bland or annoying. The premise was interesting, Dominic Monaghan was cool, and the show gave us sethmacfarlane.gif.

The best part of FlashForward was Joe Fiennes assembling a Crazy Board based off his vision of the thing six months into the future. Like, he doesn't even know what it means because he's just like "yeah yeah, there was a picture of some burnt dolls over here? and it connected to this picture of a kitten hanging from a telephone wire!" and putting poo poo in the right places and never actually going totally nuts like most people do when they assemble Crazy Boards.

# ? Nov 3, 2013 21:49

Mr Wind Up Bird: Jan 23, 2004; i'm a goddamn coward
but then again so are you

I have a transporter question: does it preserve momentum or not? Because I've seen the whole "teleported while falling and end up landing on the transporter pad" thing a couple times and there was that awful DS9 episode where they have the transporter gun but at the same time if it does keep momentum then wouldn't ship to ship transporting be impossible?

Like, the Defiant is flying around a Borg cube that is standing still. If the borg get beam over into a ship going at full impulse wouldn't they get flung hilariously across the bridge the moment they're inside?

Or am I misunderstanding some key aspect of science and/or how inertial dampeners work.

# ? Nov 3, 2013 23:35

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Mr Wind Up Bird posted:

Or am I misunderstanding some key aspect of science and/or how inertial dampeners work.

It's a lateral vs vertical thing, not that there is any good science about it.

It's probably the same reason out-of-phase ghost-Geordi was able to pass through walls but stand on the floor.

It's the same reason ships fly on one plane and space-blockades work. Two dimensional thinking.

# ? Nov 3, 2013 23:50

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

1st AD posted:

Just install holo-emitters everywhere, next time your ship gets boarded generate a swarm of bees to repel invaders.

Oh and if your ship gets damaged, a swarm of engineer bees to repair the damage.

You really don't need the hologram part, just the forcefield emitters.

# ? Nov 3, 2013 23:51

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

It seems like federation tech at the time DS9 or Voyager ended should have allowed little runabout-sized pods to make gigantic holo-ships all around themselves and then just crash themselves at enemy ships. Holographic crew and all. Everything could be replicated quickly except the ~~warp particles~~ dilithium, but they may not need to warp far to be useful.

# ? Nov 3, 2013 23:58

President Kucinich: Feb 21, 2003; Bitterly Clinging to my AK47 and Das Kapital

Can we talk about starfields?

In TOS there were little red and blue dots among the typical white specks. TAS went a little further as evidenced in the picture of the inflatable enterprise with more pronounced planets and gases. But then we get to TNG and it's all just uniform white specks. It's the one thing in TNG that really detracts from the viewing experience.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 00:01

Sash!: Mar 16, 2001

You wouldn't see a starfield at all anyhow.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 00:32

Iprazochrome: Nov 3, 2008

I wouldn't be surprised if it's because at some point a science advisor told them the star thing didn't make sense, so they retconned it to be interstellar hydrogen or something.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 01:05

MikeJF: Dec 20, 2003

Mr Wind Up Bird posted:

I have a transporter question: does it preserve momentum or not? Because I've seen the whole "teleported while falling and end up landing on the transporter pad" thing a couple times and there was that awful DS9 episode where they have the transporter gun but at the same time if it does keep momentum then wouldn't ship to ship transporting be impossible?

Like, the Defiant is flying around a Borg cube that is standing still. If the borg get beam over into a ship going at full impulse wouldn't they get flung hilariously across the bridge the moment they're inside?

Or am I misunderstanding some key aspect of science and/or how inertial dampeners work.

The transporter has functions to modify momentum, but it doesn't have to. Like, the transporter gun wouldn't cancel it.

It probably samples the local general area to determine what 'stop' is, so it may have accuracy issues sometimes if you're doing something weird.

MikeJF fucked around with this message at 01:11 on Nov 4, 2013

# ? Nov 4, 2013 01:08

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

The transporter is magic. It can do anything. Makes you younger, turns you into a worm, deactivates your guns, turns you into a more interesting character, makes an identical you, makes an evil you...

# ? Nov 4, 2013 01:16

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

It can also transport you.

To your death.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 01:19

Mister Kingdom: Dec 14, 2005; And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Gonz posted:

It can also transport you.

To your death.

Can't be trusted to save your mother.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 01:22

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Oh, it uh, melts cylinders full of black goo, sticks leaves into your skin, and can send you to other dimensions and even times.

Transporters are cool, this is what I'm saying. No one should ever use them, but they're awesome.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 01:24

Mister Kingdom: Dec 14, 2005; And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Oh, it uh, melts cylinders full of black goo, sticks leaves into your skin, and can send you to other dimensions and even times.

Transporters are cool, this is what I'm saying. No one should ever use them, but they're awesome.

Melts Vulcan science officers.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 01:36

Jonas Albrecht: Jun 7, 2012

http://www.themarysue.com/joe-cornish-star-trek-3/

I loved Attack the Block, but I doubt he'd get to do anything as interesting with nuTrek.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 01:38

Sash!: Mar 16, 2001

I want to neck punch whoever is responsible for the following phrases in my Star Trek:

- spacesick
- photonic flea

I thought there was a third when I started the list but I guess its just those two.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 01:46

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Space sickness is an actual thing though.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 02:03

The Dark One: Aug 19, 2005; I'm your friend and I'm not going to just stand by and let you do this!

Did they ever do a bit with Travis chuckling over some non-freighterous person getting spacesick?

The Dark One fucked around with this message at 02:36 on Nov 4, 2013

# ? Nov 4, 2013 02:25

Bicyclops: Aug 27, 2004

Sash! posted:

I want to neck punch whoever is responsible for the following phrases in my Star Trek:

- spacesick
- photonic flea

I thought there was a third when I started the list but I guess its just those two.

Neither of those are as bad as any episode that uses DNA, which cause all necessitate a pause for my fiance to yell at the screen. Mostly because they don't use some SPACE TERM to hand-wave the space magic, but instead reference real and actual biology concepts but make them have just as much space magic.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 02:26

MikeJF: Dec 20, 2003

Bicyclops posted:

Neither of those are as bad as any episode that uses DNA, which cause all necessitate a pause for my fiance to yell at the screen. Mostly because they don't use some SPACE TERM to hand-wave the space magic, but instead reference real and actual biology concepts but make them have just as much space magic.

Oh dear, this has to be almost as bad as the time I watched The Core with a geologist.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 02:30

Iprazochrome: Nov 3, 2008

Jonas Albrecht posted:

http://www.themarysue.com/joe-cornish-star-trek-3/

I loved Attack the Block, but I doubt he'd get to do anything as interesting with nuTrek.

I doubt he'd be able to bring much to it either, but I'd love to see it happen anyway if only so this sketch gets posted everywhere:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-1OPCIwyWg

# ? Nov 4, 2013 02:41

Writer Cath: Apr 1, 2007; Box. Flipped.; Plaster Town Cop

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

The transporter is magic. It can do anything. Makes you younger, turns you into a worm, deactivates your guns, turns you into a more interesting character, makes an identical you, makes an evil you...

I wonder if Evil Geordi would have been a more interesting character or had better luck with ladies.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 02:52

Mister Kingdom: Dec 14, 2005; And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Writer Cath posted:

I wonder if Evil Geordi would have been a more interesting character or had better luck with ladies.

He'd have the women locked in his holo-dungeon.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 02:55

Writer Cath: Apr 1, 2007; Box. Flipped.; Plaster Town Cop

Mister Kingdom posted:

He'd have the women locked in his holo-dungeon.

I said Evil Geordi. Not regular Geordi.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 02:58

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Writer Cath posted:

I wonder if Evil Geordi would have been a more interesting character or had better luck with ladies.

Evil Geordi isn't blind.

He's mute. Way creepier.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 03:03

Mister Kingdom: Dec 14, 2005; And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Evil Geordi isn't blind.

He's mute. Way creepier.

He wears a special device.

But not over his eyes.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 03:05

Sash!: Mar 16, 2001

Grand Fromage posted:

Space sickness is an actual thing though.

Yes, but its supposed to pass in like two days and also requires weightlessness. DS9 space sickness was "teehee Ezri is in over her head."

# ? Nov 4, 2013 03:44

edogawa rando: Mar 20, 2007

Writer Cath posted:

I wonder if Evil Geordi would have been a more interesting character or had better luck with ladies.

He'd have been Stefan Urquelle.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 04:09

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Enough with the cricket references, Vagabundo.

Oh, wait, that wasn't one at all! I'm... I'm shocked and disturbed. My reflexes have been honed through years of harsh trials, and without conscious thought, I lashed out. :qq:

# ? Nov 4, 2013 04:22

Iprazochrome: Nov 3, 2008

You got caught on the back foot there Blade_of_tyshalle, he really stumped you.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 04:40

Professor Beetus: Apr 12, 2007; They can fight us
But they'll never Beetus

Vagabundo posted:

He'd have been Stefan Urquelle.

Finally, something that makes sense.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 04:58

Hyperriker: Nov 1, 2008; ur fukt m8

Thread destroyed

# ? Nov 4, 2013 05:17

Commissar Ken: Dec 9, 2006; Children STILL love me, dammit!

Writer Cath posted:

I wonder if Evil Geordi would have been a more interesting character or had better luck with ladies.

Evil Picard: Isn't BIZARRO GEORDI freaking you out?
Evil Geordi: BIZARRO I LOVE YOU
Riker: Heh, I fed him a peanut.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 05:23

showbiz_liz: Jun 2, 2008

So, Far Beyond The Stars was pretty awesome, but man what a paper-thin justification for the core story. Best not to think of it too much and just enjoy seeing everyone out of their prosthetics.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 05:30

the real blah: Oct 31, 2010

showbiz_liz posted:

So, Far Beyond The Stars was pretty awesome, but man what a paper-thin justification for the core story. Best not to think of it too much and just enjoy seeing everyone out of their prosthetics.

I like how the "You are the dreamer, and the dream" line works both ways.

I just got to The Visitor in my DS9 marathon and the ending actually moved me to tears. These episodes are great Sci-fi where the techtech just provides a setting to a good story about the human condition. I feel that's a big part of what was so great about DS9 and so terrible about Voyager.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 06:57

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Evil Geordi isn't blind.

He's mute. Way creepier.

I'm imagining an electronic voicebox that sounds like a mostly-intelligible version of the Breen voice.

# ? Nov 4, 2013 07:32

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

Alternate: Evil Geordi wasn't born with defective eyes, but a defective dick. Being Geordi, he has cybernetic augmentation to correct for this disorder. :getin: