ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

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SaviourX: Sep 30, 2003; The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, or Eartha Kitt.

Clutch me roundwise with thine beef curtains, said Tyrion, Lord Arbiter of Casterly Rock as he donned his cherub angel disguise.

Nay! said the girl from that Doctor show, the eleventh one or whatever, and she tried to zap him with a space spanner thing that is pretty godamn lame.

Suddenly, the man, the main prince of the Art of Deviants himself, Darkest of Stars, my ~*Gerold*~ sauntered in and said, whoa wait, I got something for this and honorably tied his naruto ninja head thing why the gently caress do they even wear those anyway, do ninja bump their heads a lot I don't get it.

# ? Nov 9, 2013 22:01

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# ? May 31, 2024 07:37

Woodpile: Mar 30, 2013

When someone mentions Darkstar, I sometimes Google to find out who that is. Gerold Dayne, you say? Now, let me enter that into my Google machin ... too late! Already lost interest.

# ? Nov 10, 2013 00:16

OhYeah: Jan 20, 2007; 1. Currently the most prevalent form of decision-making in the western world

2. While you are correct in saying that the society owns

3. You have not for a second demonstrated here why

4. I love the way that you equate "state" with "bureaucracy". Is that how you really feel about the state

So basically it is a thread for people who hate ASOIAF books? That's the vibe I'm getting.

# ? Nov 10, 2013 00:35

whowhatwhere: Mar 15, 2010; SHINee's back

OhYeah posted:

So basically it is a thread for people who hate ASOIAF books? That's the vibe I'm getting.

This is the GRRM hate thread. The thread for people who hate books is in TVIV.

# ? Nov 10, 2013 00:52

OhYeah: Jan 20, 2007; 1. Currently the most prevalent form of decision-making in the western world

2. While you are correct in saying that the society owns

3. You have not for a second demonstrated here why

4. I love the way that you equate "state" with "bureaucracy". Is that how you really feel about the state

whowhatwhere posted:

This is the GRRM hate thread. The thread for people who hate books is in TVIV.

So you love the books but you hate the author?

# ? Nov 10, 2013 01:25

kcroy: May 30, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo

OhYeah posted:

So you love the books but you hate the author?

It's a pretty typical abusive relationship.

# ? Nov 10, 2013 01:29

Woodpile: Mar 30, 2013

I am a survivor of Stockholm Syndrome just sharing my story. It's part of the healing process.

We should have a ribbon.

# ? Nov 10, 2013 02:03

Kylaer: Aug 4, 2007; I'm SURE walking around in a respirator at all times in an (even more) OPEN BIDENing society is definitely not a recipe for disaster and anyone that's not cool with getting harassed by CHUDs are cave dwellers. I've got good brain!

I personally hate everything involving the GRRM and his creations.

AtAt-de-fay posted:

We should have a ribbon.

You know nothing, AtAt-de-fay

# ? Nov 10, 2013 03:01

Sally: Jan 9, 2007; Don't post Small Dash!

OhYeah posted:

So you love the books but you hate the author?

This person needs to read "Meathouse Man" and "The Pear-Shaped Man" stat!

# ? Nov 10, 2013 03:09

Urdnot Fire: Feb 13, 2012

Blind Sally posted:

This person needs to read "Meathouse Man" and "The Pear-Shaped Man" stat!

Something noone has ever said outside of a Bolton-esque torture dungeon. Though you forgot wherever "Vice is nice, incest is best" line is from.

Edit: Found it. It's called Portraits of His Children:

quote:

He woke suddenly, in darkness, to the light touch of skin against his foot.

Cissy was perched on top of the footboard, a red satin sheet wrapped around her, a long slim leg exploring under his blankets. She was playing footsie with him, and smiling mischievously. "Hi, Daddy," she said.

Cantling had been afraid of this. It had been in his mind all evening. Sleep had not come easily. He pulled his foot away and struggled to a sitting position.

Cissy pouted. "Don't you want to play?" she asked.

"I," he said, "I don't believe this. This can't be real."

"It can still be fun," she said.

"What the hell is Michelle doing to me? How can this be happening?"

She shrugged. The sheet slipped a little; one perfect red-tipped eighteen-year-old breast peeked out.

"You still have eighteen-year-old tits," Cantling said numbly. "You'll always have eighteen-year-old tits."

Cissy laughed. "Sure. You can borrow them, if you like, Daddy. I'll bet you can think of something interesting to do with them."

"Stop calling me Daddy," Cantling said.

"Oh, but you are my Daddy," Cissy said in her little-girl voice.

"Stop that!" Cantling said.

"Why? You want to, Daddy, you want to play with your little girl, don't you?" She winked. "Vice is nice but incest is best. The families that play together stay together." She looked around. "I like four-posters. You want to tie me up, Daddy? I'd like that."

quote:

Cissy reached through the folds of his robe, shoved her hand inside his briefs, squeezed him gently. "Liar," she said. "You want me. You've always wanted me. I'll bet you used to stop and jack off when you were writing the sex scenes."

"No," Cantling said. "Never."

"Never?" She pouted. Her hand moved up and down. "Well, I bet you wanted to. I bet you got hard anyway. I bet you got hard every time you described me."

"I," he said. The denial would not come. "Cissy, please."

"Please," she murmured. Her hand was busy. "Yes, please." She tugged at his briefs and they fluttered to the floor. "Please," she said. She untied his robe and helped him out of it. "Please." Her hand moved along his side, played with his nipples; she stepped closer, and her breasts pressed lightly against his chest. "Please," she said, and she looked up at him. Her tongue moved between her lips.

Richard Cantling groaned and took her in his trembling arms.

She was like no woman he had ever had. Her touch was fire and satin, electric, and her secret places were sweet as honey.

To answer your question, OhYeah, this is why this thread exists.

Urdnot Fire fucked around with this message at 03:19 on Nov 10, 2013

# ? Nov 10, 2013 03:14

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Check your Cissy privilege, Richard Cantling :mad:

# ? Nov 10, 2013 04:28

kcroy: May 30, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo

Kylaer posted:

I personally hate everything involving the GRRM and his creations.

mine was stripped from me

# ? Nov 10, 2013 04:52

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

I have to keep buying mine because I have a knack for calling out bad posters

# ? Nov 10, 2013 08:52

Arbite: Nov 4, 2009

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

I have to keep buying mine because I have a knack for calling out bad posters

When are you buying back your username?

# ? Nov 10, 2013 10:58

Woodpile: Mar 30, 2013

Kylaer posted:

You know nothing, AtAt-de-fay

You are not wrong.

The banner clashes with my ensemble. More importantly, it costs. Since I've reached my majority, I have nothing to offer surviving sugargoons and am saving my pin money for a limited edition Tuf Voyaging.

# ? Nov 10, 2013 13:08

Josuke Higashikata: Mar 7, 2013

OhYeah posted:

So you love the books

What gave you that impression?

# ? Nov 10, 2013 13:36

OhYeah: Jan 20, 2007; 1. Currently the most prevalent form of decision-making in the western world

2. While you are correct in saying that the society owns

3. You have not for a second demonstrated here why

4. I love the way that you equate "state" with "bureaucracy". Is that how you really feel about the state

Aurain posted:

What gave you that impression?

I'm very confused. Why are you all here, if not to discuss the books?

# ? Nov 10, 2013 14:24

Josuke Higashikata: Mar 7, 2013

Discussion doesn't imply a love of them.
I have a grudging acceptance of them.

# ? Nov 10, 2013 14:43

whowhatwhere: Mar 15, 2010; SHINee's back

OhYeah posted:

I'm very confused. Why are you all here, if not to discuss the books?

Short version: most of us love(d) books 1-3, tolerated the nothingburger that was book 4 after five years of waiting, then went crazy sometime around 2008 after GRRM decided to turn his notablog into a continuously updated announcement of all the things he was doing that weren't ASOIAF while continually promising that ADWD would be finished any month now. Book 5 came out, had its climaxes mostly excised to get the book out that year and under 1500 pages, and featured a ton of boring characters nobody cared about (who used to be the characters everybody gave a poo poo about). The thread now amuses itself by repeating the same jokes more than GRRM uses "Words are Wind" and refusing to continue its series of postmodern erotica.

Shorter version: http://www.freevampirebook.net/book3/A_Feast_for_Crows/18048.html

whowhatwhere fucked around with this message at 15:20 on Nov 10, 2013

# ? Nov 10, 2013 15:17

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

OhYeah posted:

I'm very confused. Why are you all here, if not to discuss the books?

It's more like a herpes support group. We have 'em, now we're just trying to deal.

# ? Nov 10, 2013 15:36

bigmcgaffney: Apr 19, 2009

kcroy posted:

mine was stripped from me

Mine was too, gently caress PHIZ

# ? Nov 10, 2013 17:43

OhYeah: Jan 20, 2007; 1. Currently the most prevalent form of decision-making in the western world

2. While you are correct in saying that the society owns

3. You have not for a second demonstrated here why

4. I love the way that you equate "state" with "bureaucracy". Is that how you really feel about the state

whowhatwhere posted:

Short version: most of us love(d) books 1-3, tolerated the nothingburger that was book 4 after five years of waiting, then went crazy sometime around 2008 after GRRM decided to turn his notablog into a continuously updated announcement of all the things he was doing that weren't ASOIAF while continually promising that ADWD would be finished any month now. Book 5 came out, had its climaxes mostly excised to get the book out that year and under 1500 pages, and featured a ton of boring characters nobody cared about (who used to be the characters everybody gave a poo poo about). The thread now amuses itself by repeating the same jokes more than GRRM uses "Words are Wind" and refusing to continue its series of postmodern erotica.

Shorter version: http://www.freevampirebook.net/book3/A_Feast_for_Crows/18048.html

Thank you for this explanation. I guess I would feel the same way if I had spent 11 years of my loving life waiting for the story to continue and then getting nothing but cliffhangers in return. I actually got hooked on the TV series in the summer and after the end of season 3 I couldn't wait to find out how the story continued. So I bought all the books in September and finished them last week.

In retrospect, I actually like the Feast of Crows but when I was reading it I was constantly thinking "oh my God, another Brienne chapter, what the gently caress, where are the rest of the characters". To finish Dance with Dragons at that point was a massive cock-tease to the audience who had been waiting 11 long years for the story to continue. The only hope is that now he cannot faff about anymore, since the series is about to catch up. Seriously. There is enough material for 3 seasons (or maybe even two fast-paced seasons) in the remaining books and the only way he can finish the books before the TV series is to release Winds of Winter in 2014. Not loving late 2015, or 2016, or perhaps even 2017 like someone was already saying.

# ? Nov 10, 2013 20:18

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

The remainder of the hate comes from the fact that the fat, pizza-blogging author is going to keel over dead before finishing anything. Then we get to be stuck with a shallow TV show version of the series' ending. Basically we all regret ever reading them and are just mocking grrms perversity at this point since we're so depressed over this.

WILD CARDS

# ? Nov 10, 2013 20:29

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

Jeffrey posted:

The remainder of the hate comes from the fact that the fat, pizza-blogging author is going to keel over dead before finishing anything. Then we get to be stuck with a shallow TV show version of the series' ending. Basically we all regret ever reading them and are just mocking grrms perversity at this point since we're so depressed over this.

WILD CARDS

This is it.

I liked the first three, tolerated 4, and Dany'd all over 5. Now I have to wait for a lovely tv series to end the story because The Mountain That Blogs refuses to write so that he can attend conventions and grope young women.

The real pisser is he went so far off the rails with his expanded universe he can't write a satisfying, not realizing that every ending is going to be lovely no matter what so just Dark Tower this poo poo and be done with it.

# ? Nov 10, 2013 20:40

rawdog pozfail: Jan 2, 2006; by Ralp

lol

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3582451

#2 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction > Genre Fiction > Movie Tie-Ins
#3 in Books > Literature & Fiction > Genre Fiction > Movie Tie-Ins
#4 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Fantasy > TV, Movie, Video Game Adaptations

# ? Nov 10, 2013 21:08

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

The greatest legacy will be that once the tv show finishes the series, the books become "that unfinished adaptation" and GRRM is forgotten.

# ? Nov 10, 2013 21:18

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Holy Calamity! posted:

#4 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Fantasy > TV, Movie, Video Game Adaptations

# ? Nov 10, 2013 21:21

Fog Tripper: Mar 3, 2008; by Smythe

OhYeah posted:

So you love the books but you hate the author?

So you are here simply to judge us?

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

just Dark Tower this poo poo and be done with it.

Reported for new thread title.

Fog Tripper fucked around with this message at 23:40 on Nov 10, 2013

# ? Nov 10, 2013 23:35

OhYeah: Jan 20, 2007; 1. Currently the most prevalent form of decision-making in the western world

2. While you are correct in saying that the society owns

3. You have not for a second demonstrated here why

4. I love the way that you equate "state" with "bureaucracy". Is that how you really feel about the state

Fog Tripper posted:

So you are here simply to judge us?

Not really, no. Please scroll upwards a bit, I wanted to understand the background of the apparent hostility towards GRRM and I already got a nice, concise answer.

# ? Nov 11, 2013 00:41

Sally: Jan 9, 2007; Don't post Small Dash!

OhYeah posted:

Not really, no. Please scroll upwards a bit, I wanted to understand the background of the apparent hostility towards GRRM and I already got a nice, concise answer.

Well to be fair, in any interaction a judgement of some sort is made. I suppose the question now should be whether or not you judge us in a positive light.

Will you join us in our madness?

# ? Nov 11, 2013 01:21

p.crestmont: Feb 17, 2012

OhYeah posted:

Seriously. There is enough material for 3 seasons (or maybe even two fast-paced seasons) in the remaining books and the only way he can finish the books before the TV series is to release Winds of Winter in 2014. Not loving late 2015, or 2016, or perhaps even 2017 like someone was already saying.

Well that's good, I'm looking forward to reading Winds of Winter next year!

# ? Nov 11, 2013 01:33

Urdnot Fire: Feb 13, 2012

p.crestmont posted:

Well that's good, I'm looking forward to reading Winds of Winter next year!

Don't worry, I just saw this on Not A Blog!

quote:

"Hey, wait a minute!" some of you may be saying about now. "Wait a minute, wait a minute! Where's Sansa and Littlefinger? Where's Doran Martell? We hardly saw Pretty Pig. That can't be all of it. . . ."

Well, no. There's more to come. Another book as big as this one.

I did not forget to write about the other characters. Far from it. I wrote lots about them. Pages and pages and pages. Chapters and more chapters. I was still writing when it dawned on me that the book had become too big to publish in a single volume . . . and I wasn't close to finished yet. To tell all of the story that I wanted to tell, I was going to have to cut the book in two.

The simplest way to do that would have been to take what I had, chop it in half around the middle, and end with "To Be Continued." The more I thought about that, however, the more I felt that the readers would be better served by a book that told all the story for half the characters, rather than half the story for all the characters. So that's the route I chose to take.

Darkstar, Doran, Samwell, Sansa and Littlefinger, Areo Hotah, and all the rest of the characters you love or love to hate will be along next year (I devoutly hope) in The Winds of Winter, which will focus on plot resolutions, just as the present book focused on cliffhangers.

- George R. R. Martin November 2013

OhYeah posted:

Not really, no. Please scroll upwards a bit, I wanted to understand the background of the apparent hostility towards GRRM and I already got a nice, concise answer.

ADWD was neither nice nor concise.

# ? Nov 11, 2013 01:48

OhYeah: Jan 20, 2007; 1. Currently the most prevalent form of decision-making in the western world

2. While you are correct in saying that the society owns

3. You have not for a second demonstrated here why

4. I love the way that you equate "state" with "bureaucracy". Is that how you really feel about the state

Blind Sally posted:

Well to be fair, in any interaction a judgement of some sort is made. I suppose the question now should be whether or not you judge us in a positive light.

Will you join us in our madness?

That depends. Is there a method in your madness? Or rather, what is the end goal?

Urdnot Fire posted:

Don't worry, I just saw this on Not A Blog!

ADWD was neither nice nor concise.

I was talking about the forum post explaining the hostility towards the author a bit back.

# ? Nov 11, 2013 02:06

Sally: Jan 9, 2007; Don't post Small Dash!

OhYeah posted:

That depends. Is there a method in your madness? Or rather, what is the end goal?

This:

mind the walrus posted:

It's more like a herpes support group. We have 'em, now we're just trying to deal.

# ? Nov 11, 2013 02:37

bigmcgaffney: Apr 19, 2009

Dudersons, he already dark towered this poo poo, he himself is in the book like 9 times, and tony romo is even in it once

# ? Nov 11, 2013 03:14

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

The goal is to form a lifelong support network for people who are have been burned by grrm and are self-aware enough to realize it(before the tv show finishes).

Jeffrey of YOSPOS fucked around with this message at 03:39 on Nov 11, 2013

# ? Nov 11, 2013 03:19

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

This thread is basically those support groups from Fight Club and the regulars are that lady talking about dildos and porn.

# ? Nov 11, 2013 03:37

1554: Aug 15, 2010

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

so just Dark Tower this poo poo and be done with it.

Goddamn this was glorious.

# ? Nov 11, 2013 03:57

rawdog pozfail: Jan 2, 2006; by Ralp

I like gurm and the asoiaf series

# ? Nov 11, 2013 05:30

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# ? May 31, 2024 07:37

Interstellar Owl: Nov 3, 2010; "The universe seems neither benign nor hostile, merely owl like."

I saw the book sale has an audiobook version, holy poo poo I can't imagine how someone can straight face read some of the stuff like Theon's torture and stuff.

# ? Nov 11, 2013 05:43

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

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