ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

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Greenlit: Dec 16, 2004; A commonborn squire
takes the reins of a knightly order, and leads a wayward kingdom from the midst
of chaos. The masses yearn for a hero. I give them what they wish.

The big surprise there, for me, is that he's loving married.

I've been suffering Wild Carditis for over ten years and had no idea he's married.

# ? Nov 13, 2013 04:57

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# ? May 16, 2024 00:46

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

He only just got married, it's okay. Their nuptuals went smoother than some of the others GRRM has dreamt up, but still they walked under a storm of swords, as it were :haw:

# ? Nov 13, 2013 05:03

Krypsis: Nov 8, 2013

Let's just hope Brandon Sanderson isn't busy when GRRM kicks the bucket before he finishes ASOIAF

Krypsis fucked around with this message at 06:54 on Nov 13, 2013

# ? Nov 13, 2013 06:10

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Krypsis posted:

Let's just hope Brandon Sanderson isn't busy when GRRM kicks the bucket before he finished ASOIAF

Don't sweat it, it will be concluded solely as a tv show.

# ? Nov 13, 2013 06:14

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Krypsis posted:

Let's just hope Brandon Sanderson isn't busy when GRRM kicks the bucket before he finished ASOIAF

The nice thing about Sandy taking over is the sex scenes would get a lot less creepy and gross.

They'd also be excised entirely.

# ? Nov 13, 2013 06:28

Krypsis: Nov 8, 2013

Jeffrey posted:

Don't sweat it, it will be concluded solely as a tv show.

I would be totally okay if they went Walking Dead on the TV show and gave it an alternate plot, but still somewhat following the source material.

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

The nice thing about Sandy taking over is the sex scenes would get a lot less creepy and gross.

They'd also be excised entirely.

Female characters would be a lot better written too in my opinion. GRRM and Robert Jordan both suck rear end at writing girl POV chapters, but the Vin character in Sanderson's Mistborn series is really believable and I think one of the best written female characters written by a male author in modern fantasy novels.

# ? Nov 13, 2013 06:54

Urdnot Fire: Feb 13, 2012

Sanderson would replace food porn and porn porn with magic porn.

Krypsis posted:

one of the best written female characters written by a male author in modern fantasy novels.

The faintest of praise.

I do enjoy pretty much all of Sanderson's books, though.

# ? Nov 13, 2013 06:59

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

Honestly, I hope GRRM dies and someone else finishes the series so there will be, at last, a female POV that isn't a cum-thirsty harlot or a previously cum-thirsty harlot that is now a mom and is more reserved at being a big dumb failure rear end in a top hat.

# ? Nov 13, 2013 07:19

SaviourX: Sep 30, 2003; The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, or Eartha Kitt.

Krypsis posted:

Female characters would be a lot better written too in my opinion.

Oh man, really? I remember that first mistborn novel where he shows that *zzzzzZzz*

-Oh poo poo, sorry, I was really just trying to remember how interesting the females were in the first mist*szzzzsssZZZzzz*

# ? Nov 13, 2013 08:10

Khizan: Jul 30, 2013

Krypsis posted:

Let's just hope Brandon Sanderson isn't busy when GRRM kicks the bucket before he finishes ASOIAF

Couldn't we get a good author instead? GRRM's not the greatest, but at least he's not Brandon loving sperglord Sanderson with all the characterization and plotting of a goddamned player's handbook.

# ? Nov 13, 2013 08:41

Josuke Higashikata: Mar 7, 2013

JK Rowling's gonna take 'em.
Melly Sanders and the Evil at the Wall

# ? Nov 13, 2013 10:05

Cardiac: Aug 28, 2012

Khizan posted:

Couldn't we get a good author instead? GRRM's not the greatest, but at least he's not Brandon loving sperglord Sanderson with all the characterization and plotting of a goddamned player's handbook.

Robin Hobb?
She is apparently a shining zircon in a sea of mud (or other brown stuff) according to the GRRM.

# ? Nov 13, 2013 11:33

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

Urdnot Fire posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5UlB4Yw1wQ

Number 1 for seven weeks. For reals.

Fatkraken fucked around with this message at 13:48 on Nov 13, 2013

# ? Nov 13, 2013 13:42

Josuke Higashikata: Mar 7, 2013

Fatkraken posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5UlB4Yw1wQ

Number 1 for seven weeks. For reals.

I genuinely like Robson and Jerome.
They're pretty crap, but still.

# ? Nov 13, 2013 15:04

GreenBuckanneer: Sep 15, 2007

Urdnot Fire posted:

Something noone has ever said outside of a Bolton-esque torture dungeon. Though you forgot wherever "Vice is nice, incest is best" line is from.

Edit: Found it. It's called Portraits of His Children:

To answer your question, OhYeah, this is why this thread exists.

I'm weirded out that he wrote this but I'd be lying if it didn't sound like smutty fanfiction.

# ? Nov 13, 2013 15:09

bigmcgaffney: Apr 19, 2009

GreenBuckanneer posted:

I'm weirded out that he wrote this but I'd be lying if it didn't sound like smutty fanfiction.

That's always what I think when I read that story, after I wipe the cum off my keyboard. "I hate fan fiction, let me write a story where an author gets to bang his characters." But I guess the thing is that he doesn't want anyone else to bang his characters, because that would be lazy.

# ? Nov 13, 2013 15:23

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Krypsis posted:

the Vin character in Sanderson's Mistborn series is really believable and I think one of the best written female characters written by a male author in modern fantasy novels.

Vin's okay. Boring as hell, though not nearly so much as Elend, and she turns straight into boy-crazy Sansa whenever she's in a room with other women, but okay for all that.

# ? Nov 13, 2013 15:30

HookShot: Dec 26, 2005

Maybe it's because I started off watching the TV show, and not only that but would normally watch it right after The Newsroom, but I always thought the female characters in this series were pretty good (except for Dany diahrrea of course).

# ? Nov 13, 2013 21:56

Fog Tripper: Mar 3, 2008; by Smythe

Nothing, absolutely nothing about the show is "good".

# ? Nov 13, 2013 23:52

Cpt.Sean Luc Picard: Nov 24, 2006; man why you even got to do a thing?

The Blackwater explosion was pretty cool.

# ? Nov 14, 2013 02:57

jsoh: Mar 24, 2007; O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight

It was way cooler in the books, though.

# ? Nov 14, 2013 03:01

In It For The Tank: Feb 17, 2011; But I've yet to figure out a better way to spend my time.

Fog Tripper posted:

Nothing, absolutely nothing about the show is "good".

Hey hey, woah, hey. The music owns.

# ? Nov 14, 2013 03:24

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

The opening is also appropriate as gently caress, and funny as it gets more and more complicated for casual viewers.

# ? Nov 14, 2013 03:47

SaviourX: Sep 30, 2003; The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, or Eartha Kitt.

Where's that place? Who live there? What're they doing? Whose dog is that?

# ? Nov 14, 2013 04:20

rawdog pozfail: Jan 2, 2006; by Ralp

Fog Tripper posted:

Nothing, absolutely nothing about the show is "good".

Show is good. Books are good. GURM is great.

# ? Nov 14, 2013 04:21

Sally: Jan 9, 2007; Don't post Small Dash!

Gurmhu ackbar.

# ? Nov 14, 2013 05:55

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

There is no god but R'hllor, and GRRM is his prophet.

# ? Nov 14, 2013 06:55

Blog Free or Die: Apr 30, 2005; FOR THE MOTHERLAND

Cardiac posted:

Robin Hobb?
She is apparently a shining zircon in a sea of mud (or other brown stuff) according to the GRRM.

Haha, I remember that blurb; how do you gently caress one of those up so badly.

If Hobb took over the books half the chapters would be from a dragon's perspective and in the rest everyone would mope around blaming themselves for the lovely lives they lead.

fingers crossed her books rule

# ? Nov 14, 2013 07:33

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Cpt.Sean Luc Picard posted:

The Blackwater explosion was pretty cool.

Ehh, I thought the green looked really dumb.

# ? Nov 14, 2013 08:43

Ginette Reno: Nov 18, 2006; How Doers get more done; Fun Shoe

Fog Tripper posted:

Nothing, absolutely nothing about the show is "good".

Charles Dance motherfucker.

# ? Nov 14, 2013 08:56

Torquemadras: Jun 3, 2013

I love how they have to keep stretching the intro music when they have to show off all their pretty miniatures.

It's like a confused orchestra stalling for time because the conductor seems to have a heart attack.

# ? Nov 14, 2013 10:12

bigmcgaffney: Apr 19, 2009

Holy Calamity! posted:

Show is good. Books are good. GURM is great.

It is known, hail satan

# ? Nov 14, 2013 13:51

Fog Tripper: Mar 3, 2008; by Smythe

Cpt.Sean Luc Picard posted:

The Blackwater explosion was pretty cool.

The size of a studio backlot, compared to the battle in the book.

# ? Nov 14, 2013 16:45

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Yeah, it was done on a budget, I don't really get the issue. Even Lord of the Rings had limitations.

# ? Nov 14, 2013 16:52

Junkenstein: Oct 22, 2003

Fog Tripper posted:

The size of a studio backlot, compared to the battle in the book.

Still, by far, the largest scale thing they've done in the show, though. It looked fantastic for a TV show.

How they're going to do the battle at the wall, I have no idea.

# ? Nov 14, 2013 17:22

Aston: Nov 19, 2007; Okay
Okay
Okay
Okay
Okay

Junkenstein posted:

Still, by far, the largest scale thing they've done in the show, though. It looked fantastic for a TV show.

How they're going to do the battle at the wall, I have no idea.

A crow arrives at Maester Pycelle's chambers, but is ignored. From a close up of the fluttering paper attached to its leg, we glimpse the words "battle", "wall", and "huge let-down".

# ? Nov 14, 2013 17:50

Torquemadras: Jun 3, 2013

Junkenstein posted:

How they're going to do the battle at the wall, I have no idea.

Sam Tarley runs through snow for two minutes, is chased by one Wildling, and is saved by Stannis ~~on a horse~~ on foot.

Then, Melissandre walks by and says the battle has been won.

Jon Snow appears. He and Stannis both perform a grim nod.

The end

# ? Nov 14, 2013 18:51

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

code:

EXT. THE WALL - NIGHT

It is nighttime at THE WALL, because night is spookier than day.
Also, because darkness hides how we're shooting this in a
schoolyard in Belfast.

JON SNOW is there. He points into the inky blackness.

               JON SNOW
     Look! Out there, in the darkness!
     Can you see them, battle-brothers?

Some BLACK BROTHERS are crowded around him. They hem and haw in
agreement and disagreement.

               BLACK BROTHER 1
     No, Lord Commander, I cannot. It is
     very dark out there.

               JON SNOW
     drat it all to blazes, if only we
     had the capability to generate light,
     so we could more readily see the sheer
     scale of our enemy's assault. Perhaps,
     in the future, such technology will
     exist.

               BLACK BROTHER 2
     You speak of magick, Ser. Blasphemy!
     We should conspire to stab you repeat-
     edly for such a crime.

Suddenly, two or three WILDLINGS appear atop THE WALL. The BLACK
BROTHERS charge to meet them in a flurry of close-up, shaky camera
work which makes it seem like there's at least a dozen dudes
instead of five.

               BLACK BROTHER 1
     This battle is hellish! Look at the
     bodies of our slain Brothers! So many,
     they are beyond counting!

               JON SNOW
     There's no time for that, avert your
     eyes! We have more pressing matters!

Another two WILDLINGS appear, and both JON SNOW and a BLACK BROTHER
engage them in shakycam combat in the darkness.

EXEUNT stage left, with a flourish of crows.

# ? Nov 14, 2013 18:54

Mr. Unlucky: Nov 1, 2006; by R. Guyovich

Fog Tripper posted:

Nothing, absolutely nothing about the show is "good".

heh feh snort adjusts glasses

It's not a neckbeard, it's a way of life!

# ? Nov 14, 2013 20:01

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# ? May 16, 2024 00:46

Joramun: Dec 1, 2011; No man has need of candles when the Sun awaits him.

Mr. Unlucky posted:

heh feh snort adjusts glasses

It's not a neckbeard, it's a way of life!

Go away.

# ? Nov 14, 2013 20:27

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