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FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

Pick 'Em Stuff

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AqPdA8xeuUcDdC10NnFLUUtkelZMLVEyX3VvZ2haSHc&usp=drive_web#gid=3

2 people picked the Ws, both in 7. Captain Yesterday was one of 'em. His lead isn't insurmountable, mathematically speaking, but this thing is fuckin' over. He's gonna get that extra pick.

1.) Captain Yesterday, 47 points
2.) The Goog and TKBomber, 32 points
4.) Me, 31 points

Everyone else: eliminated

Errata: Smasher had you all pick 2 survivors for the final round. Now that's not going to be a thing since the number will be either 1 or 3 (I vote for 3 teams, btw, Smasher). Rather than have folks re-pick, I'm just going to award points to the top 2 teams in this Gauntlet round, even if it's not strictly "the survivors." If you have a problem with this, speak now.

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StupidSexyMothman
Aug 9, 2010

Vote 3 survivors and really let's all pull for the Losers because everyone likes the W's and it's fitting that they live forever through playoff consistency and a complete inability to win the big one.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
Probably moot, but I vote option A.

Smasher: Do I need to create updated DH lineups for this series? Or, since I have home field advantage for this, are we doing all no DH lineups for the finals?

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



A

The Will to Contraction!

Ginge
Sep 8, 2011

Well, Chippy is already my favourite character!
Voting A, if only because I'm not a fan of the type of schedule Mogul likes to throw out at 34 teams.

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

Hey Monicro, I'm interested in that Joe Torre+ for my 1st round pick.

What year is the Torre, and which of your starting pitchers are you willing to part with?

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

Oh, and also:

gently caress it: W's in 5, 3-1

Zodiac5000
Jun 19, 2006

Protects the Pack!

Doctor Rope
As the Marmosets were destroyed by the gauntlet, so too must be other teams. Option A.

Monicro
Oct 21, 2010

And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

FairGame posted:

Hey Monicro, I'm interested in that Joe Torre+ for my 1st round pick.

What year is the Torre, and which of your starting pitchers are you willing to part with?

Just for the sake of having it in the thread, I am down with this if one of the Hornsbies are still on the board by your pick.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

ToiletofSadness posted:

Probably moot, but I vote option A.

Smasher: Do I need to create updated DH lineups for this series? Or, since I have home field advantage for this, are we doing all no DH lineups for the finals?

You do have home-field advantage, but this isn't 1976-1986, so we're going by modern World Series rules, meaning that you do need a DH lineup for the three games in the Coliseum.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
Losers in 6 (5-2)

ForeverBWFC
Oct 19, 2011

Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!

Final Line-ups!

DH
#1: Al Simmons (LF)
#2: Lou Whitaker (2B)
#3: Duke Snider (CF)
#4: Babe Ruth (LF)
#5: Ed Delahanty (DH)
#6: John Olerud (1B)
#7: Scott Rolen (3B)
#8: Cal Ripken (SS)
#9: Ted Simmons (C)/Darren Daulton (C) Daulton will act as personal catcher for Koufax and McDowell

Bench
Mark Bellhorn (IF)
Asdrubal Cabrera (IF)
Darren Daulton/ Ted Simmons (C)
Kirk Gibson (OF)
Adam Dunn (Wherever he likes)

Non-DH
#1: Al Simmons (LF)
#2: Lou Whitaker (2B)
#3: Duke Snider/Ed Delahanty (CF) Platoon Snider and Delahanty for Non-DH games
#4: Babe Ruth (RF)
#5: John Olerud (1B)
#6: Scott Rolen (3B)
#7: Cal Ripken (SS)
#8: Ted Simmons/Darren Daulton (C) See Above
(Pitcher's Spot)

Bench
Mark Bellhorn (IF)
Asdrubal Cabrera (IF)
Darren Daulton/ Ted Simmons (C)
Ed Delahanty (IF/OF)/Duke Snider (CF)
Adam Dunn (Wherever he likes)

Rotation and Bullpen
#1: Cy Young
#2: Sandy Koufax
#3: Pete Alexander
#4: Jack McDowell
#5: Tom Glavine

Closer: Rob Dibble
Set-up: Robb Nen
SR: Sparky Lyle
SR: Dave Smith
MR: Eri Yoshida
LR: Burleigh Grimes

Good luck to both teams, I hope it's a good match for the neutrals, and may the best team win!

The Merry Marauder
Apr 4, 2009

"But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."
Those were some great game summaries. Lance Berkman has surprising range (as a thespian, certainly not in the field).

I believed in you, Kerry Wood. :(

Re: the vote - two leagues, each with its own update, allowing four days between them - one less game summary an update for Smasher, fewer roster changes at a time. More competitive performances for young teams. Ideally you'd have a mid-season relegation with replacements from a much-reduced expansion class, but that's logistically impossible, I expect.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
Because I have to use this at least once...


Super League XI Finals

Leave my no DH lineups as they were from the previous rounds. New lineups for the with DH games in Bolton:

vs RHP w/ DH
2B Alomar
LF Speaker
DH O’Doul
CF Charleston
1B Thomas
RF Oliva
SS Cronin
C Martinez
3B Frisch

vs LHP w/ DH
LF Speaker
DH O’Doul
SS Cronin
1B Thomas
CF Charleston
RF Robinson
C Torre
3B Youkilis
2B Kent

Even though he's been my offensive MVP this season, I've decided to sit Frank Robinson for Tony Oliva to try and take advantage of the short RF wall in Bolton. Victor Martinez will also get a couple of starts in Bolton to take advantage of his switch hitting and that short RF wall.

One final set of changes to the pitching staff. Seeing how Marauder's wild, live-armed righty fared in Bolton, I'm not going to start Nolan Ryan for this series instead opting for the better control of lefty Jerry Koosman.

Pitching staff is as follows:

SP1 Paige
SP2 Seaver
SP3 Drysdale
SP4 Koosman
CL Myers
SU Bedrosian
SR Wetteland
SR Rhodes
MR Bentancourt
LR Lee
Mop Ryan


I wish the best to ForeverBWFC, but I do not intend to lose for the 3rd time in the league finals.

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!


Well, I guess 1956 Harvey Kuenn is the dude I will take.

COL/AZ will be in soon-ish.

Ice To Meet You
Mar 5, 2007

kensei posted:

Well, I guess 1956 Harvey Kuenn is the dude I will take.

COL/AZ will be in soon-ish.

Before you make that pick, are you interested in trading? I can get you a SS plus some more pieces.

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!


Mr. Cool Ice posted:

Before you make that pick, are you interested in trading? I can get you a SS plus some more pieces.

Message me

Paul Zuvella
Dec 7, 2011

Kensei. You might want to reconsider that pick before smasher comes and tells you how bad it is. Kuenn would have probably been available in the 4th round, and people would gladly trade you better shortstops for the pick.

Heck, I'd gladly trade you Vern Stephens for it, who is a better shortstop.

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

kensei posted:

Well, I guess 1956 Harvey Kuenn is the dude I will take.


I know I PMed you to make your pick, but, uh...that is a really bad pick and now I feel bad I rushed you. If you're married to Kuenn he'll probably be around in like the 4th round.

Mr. Cool Ice posted:

Before you make that pick, are you interested in trading? I can get you a SS plus some more pieces.

This would be the better idea short of just taking "best pick available" rather than drafting for need.

Proposal: If he's not been given his new owner gift yet, how about that Kuenn he just drafted at no charge? That won't change competitive balance at all

theacox
Jun 8, 2010

You can't be serious.
Voting B with the assumption that we're going to lose Bruizer's team early in the season anyway, due to some asinine challenge.

Revenant Threshold
Jan 1, 2008
A because fewer teams means a concentration of talent!

Wait, that's not how it works? At all? Oh well.

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

Voting B because of personal self-interest.

CVE
Jan 27, 2012
Let's see if the W's manage the triple miracle and beat both the Losers and the Macho Men after that. It would be funny to finally do it after being the league oldie for so long together with the Bangers.

As for the vote I guess if Smasher has no problems with two additional teams then who am I to deny them survival after coming this far. B

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
True Patriots of the Super-League (voting for only one survivor)
mks5000
GVOLTT
blakelmenakle
CraigK
Armitage
ToiletofSadness
Pander
gingemidget
Zodiac5000

Total: 9!


The Craven (voting for three survivors)
cbx
CFBalla
mentholmoose
The Goog
Monicro
Monathin
ForeverBWFC
Robert_Deadford
oldskool
kensei

Total: 10!


May god have mercy on your souls, because I sure as gently caress won't. Speaking of which...





Results










Monathin posted:


I will loving kill all of you who did this to my team. Mark my words, you will all pay! All I want to do was bring the indie appeal of Bastion to the Super-League, and you ruined it! You ruined all of it! I hate you! I hate all of you!








mentholmoose posted:


Let's be honest, guys, I am immortal, I have inside me blood of kin, I have no rival, no man can be my equal...

TAKE ME TO THE FUTURE OF THE LEAGUE!

What, Senerio's the only guy allowed to quote Queen lyrics?







The Merry Marauder posted:


You might be wondering if I would sacrifice a Syndicate team to allow the Catastrophes to survive another season.

No. I will not. If the Calamities wanted to survive, they should have been built better. The Premodernists had roughly the same number of wins in a tougher decision, and survived more rounds of the Gauntlet. We have earned new life, and the Calamities have earned their death. Blood in, blood out, and the wheel turns.







kw0134 posted:


The results of today's Gauntlet round has vindicated the rights of my clients, the Rochester Generics. That said, I do not plan on withdrawing my suit against Smasher Dynamo for intentional infliction of emotional distress at this time.

I have no further comment at this time.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
Too bland to live, too generic to die.

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

Pick 'Em: With that result, it is now mathematically impossible for Captain Yesterday to lose. Congrats! Now don't pick a lovely loving Astro!

Monathin
Sep 1, 2011

?????????
?

My revenge will not be swift. It will be methodical. Well-planned, well executed. It will no be something that is swift upon my enemies, it will be long, drawn out, to savor and revel in the bloodshed upon those who would revel in my own.

Mark my words. This will not be the end.

StupidSexyMothman
Aug 9, 2010

Am I the only one who hears most of Marauder's ramblings in the voice of Phillipe Loren from Saints Row The Third ever since they were declared a Syndicate?

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

:toot: Another season to show off my mediocrity!

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

FairGame posted:

Pick 'Em: With that result, it is now mathematically impossible for Captain Yesterday to lose. Congrats! Now don't pick a lovely loving Astro!

No guarantee.

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.
Just to let everyone know, I've come down with something and I might be going to urgent care in a day or so if it doesn't clear up. I'll still be running the Franchise Challenge, it'll just be delayed for a couple of days at the latest. I'm still looking to start it up 2 or 3 days after Smasher finishes the playoffs, so... in a week or thereabouts. Nothing to worry about, really.

BrooklynBruiser
Aug 20, 2006

theacox posted:

Voting B with the assumption that we're going to lose Bruizer's team early in the season anyway, due to some asinine challenge.

...

I change my drat name to make it easier for people to not gently caress it up and you still manage it. Wow.

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



BrooklynBruiser posted:

...

I change my drat name to make it easier for people to not gently caress it up and you still manage it. Wow.

et tu, brooklynbrutus?

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

cbx posted:

Just to let everyone know, I've come down with something and I might be going to urgent care in a day or so if it doesn't clear up. I'll still be running the Franchise Challenge, it'll just be delayed for a couple of days at the latest. I'm still looking to start it up 2 or 3 days after Smasher finishes the playoffs, so... in a week or thereabouts. Nothing to worry about, really.

Jeez, all of my baseball e-friends are having a bad time lately. I hope you feel better soon :unsmith:

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!


I have a wedding to go to today. I am making the trade with McFreeze, we are fine tuning the players.

Cthulhu Dreams
Dec 11, 2010

If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.
What do I need to add to 1930 Travis Jackson to get that pick?

Monicro
Oct 21, 2010

And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

Cthulhu Dreams posted:

What do I need to add to 1930 Travis Jackson to get that pick?

Dammit you guys i just want to get rogers hornsby is that too much to ask

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
Super-League XI Finals: South Bolton Eazy W's vs. Rockford Losers



The Eazy W's are the underdogs here, there's no doubting that. They did get by the Finger-Bangers, but a lot of that has to go down to some questionable pitching choices by Marauder, and the extreme home-field advantage they held, and, even then, they barely were able to get by the Bangers. The Losers aren't going to make the same sort of mistakes with their own pitching staff, and their home stadium is rather inimical to left-handed power, as far as Super-League stadiums go. Is it possible the W's win? Sure. Is it likely? No, it really isn't. The W's did well to get here, but barring a miracle, this is likely as far as the W's are going to be able to go.



The Rockford Losers still haven't lost a game this postseason. I don't know that, at this point, it's a particularly interesting question whether the Losers are going to win this championship, as it's almost inconceivable that they won't. No, the real question is how much longer they can keep the postseason winning streak going.

Game 1

Don May posted:


LOSERS HANG ON TO WIN OPENER 3-2

Rockford- The result was expected, but the road getting there was more bumpy than the Rockford Losers would have preferred.

Playing their first game after a long layoff, as their own championship series had ended in a sweep while the W's were forced to play all seven games, the Losers still looked sharp, especially their starter, Satchel Paige, who held the W's scoreless for seven innings. But it took a little while longer for their offense to wake up, as the W's starter, Cy Young, managed to keep the score knotted at 0-0 until the bottom of the seventh inning, where the Losers finally broke through and scored the first run of the game. They added two more in the bottom of the eighth, and looked ready to cruise to the win.

But the W's, coming off that emotional win in Fukuoka to send them to their first Super-League finals, were not ready to give up. The top of the ninth inning started with Randy Myers walking two of the first three hitters, and although Myers also managed to strike out Duke Snider, the tying run was now at the plate with only one out. John Olerud was up next, and doubled home a run, narrowing the lead to 3-1. Feeling the wind at their backs, the W's continued their comeback as Scott Rolen hit an RBI single of his own. There were now runners at the corners, still with only one out, and the tying run was now just 90 feet from home plate. Myers, worried about giving up a big hit, pitched too cautiously to Cal Ripken, and walked the W's shortstop on four pitches. That brought up Ted Simmons with the bases loaded, the W's down one, and just one out. The Losers were in trouble, but they did not show it. The Rockford team, as always, had taken on the inhumanly calm demeanor of their leader, Humungus, and seemed almost unaffected by the events of the inning. To them, the W's comeback was, as yet, irrelevant. They still had the lead, and if they could just get out of this inning, then none of this would matter.

Ted Simmons, knowing a walk wasn't likely given the circumstances, swung at Myers' first offering, and hit a sharp grounder to second base. Asdrubal Cabrera, pinch-running for Olerud, ran home on contact, and appeared ready to score easily. But the Losers would not allow that to happen. Joe Cronin fielded, threw to Roberto Alomar for the first out, and then Alomar pivoted and threw to Kevin Youkilis at first. The slow-footed Ted Simmons was out by five feet, and, as a result, the run at home was nullified. The game was over, and the Losers had beaten back the W's comeback to take a 1-0 series lead.

ForeverBWFC was ashen-faced after the game, "We're not going to win this, are we? The Losers are going to kill us, and then Humungus is going to kill me, and then I'm going to be dead, and my funeral will probably be sparsely attended because who wants to attend the funeral of anyone dumb enough to put themselves in a situation like this anyway! Oh, god, there were so many things in life I wanted to do. Like try a burrito. We don't have much Mexican food here in England, I'm afraid. Or sleep with a Finnish woman, just to see what it was like. Or find a really well-fitting suit jacket. I have odd proportions, and can't really afford a good tailor. All of these I wanted to do, and Humungus is going to murder me before I get to any of them!"

As for the victors, Humungus made his objectives clear, "I have not lost a game this postseason, I do not intend to lose one here. ForeverBWFC, I empathize with your unwillingness to engage my Losers in battle. I am sorry that he feckless Bellhorn has forced you to this. But ForeverBWFC, you can still walk away from this. Hand me the Super-League Championship and just go. You have proven your bravery, and you have seen that it is no match for my Losers. Go now, go in peace. This is not a fight you can win. Do not make me hurt you."

Game 2 will take place in Rockford. Sandy Koufax will try and even the series at one game apiece for the W's, as Tom Seaver attempts to keep the Losers perfect in these playoffs.

GAME NOTES

-Eri Yoshida, who did not make an appearance in today's game announced that, "It's pretty clear that the only way that the W's are going to win is through superior team spirit. Now, remember how before the last game against the Rakers, ForeverBWFC vowed that I'd be the first reliever out of the bullpen? Well, I say that we do that again! And so, for the rest of the series, I'm going to be the first relief pitcher used by the W's in each game! My positive thinking is going to turn around this entire series! I just know it will!"

-The W's only had four hits on the game, but at least had five walks. Of course, most of those walks came against Randy Myers, and that did not end up working out so well for the Bolton team, but it's not the worst sign in the world.

Box Score


Game 2

Don May posted:


LOSERS DOMINATE W'S, WIN 8-4

Rockford- The final score makes this game seem a lot closer than it actually was.

In fact, the Losers led 6-2 after three innings, and things were looking so bad for the W's that ForeverBWFC felt he had no choice but to bring Eri Yoshida of all people into the game to start the fourth. To her credit, she did manage to stabilize things, allowing only a solo home run to Frank Thomas over the next three innings.

But against Tom Seaver, who had been the Losers' top starter over the course of their 103-win regular season, coming back from a 6-2 deficit was never in the cards, and although the W's did their best to try and narrow the gap, the W's simply could not pull off the feat, and fell into a 0-2 hole in this best-of-seven series.

Then again, they fell into the same 0-2 hole in their last series, against the Bangers, losing both of the first two games against the Bangers in Fukuoka before winning four of the next five games, including three straight in the Coliseum in Bolton, to win the series. A case could be made that if any team is capable of stopping the seemingly unstoppable Rockford Losers, it is these South Bolton Eazy W's.

On the other hand, that's like picking which gnat is most likely to sink an aircraft carrier. There's probably someway it could happen, say the gnat flying into some important circuitry, setting off a chain of events that ends with the aircraft carrier's nuclear reactor overloading and melting down, forcing the captain to scuttle the ship to avoid the radiation leaking directly into the atmosphere, but that doesn't seem like something too terribly likely to happen.

After the game, Humungus addressed the Rockford crowd, "My dogs of war, I salute you for your support of my Rockford Losers over these past six seasons. Games 6 and 7 are scheduled to be played in Rockford, this is true, but those games will prove unnecessary. I will defeat the W's in Bolton in the next two games, and end all of this. And that means that the Losers will never return to Rockford, nor will I. Goodbye, people of Rockford. My work in this league is nearly concluded, and I could not have come this far without your obedience and loyalty. In recognition of all of this, I now give thirty seconds to depart Rockford before I detonate a cluster of atomic bombs buried deep beneath it that will atomize this city. Much as Cortez burned the boats behind to motivate his men, so must I make a final separation. Farewell, and good fortune. You know have 29 minutes and 45 seconds."

The crowd, panicked, began to stampede their way out of the stadium and Humungus and the Losers calmly entered their team's plane and set off from Rockford, never to return as Humungus turned out to not be bluffing, and the city of Rockford was, in fact, wiped from the map in a blazing flash of light.

Game 3 will take place in Bolton. The Losers will start Don Drysdale, who first entered the league with the South L.A. Eazy W's back in Super-League I, while the W's will send out Pete Alexander.

GAME NOTES

-Eri Yoshida got a chance to bat! She struck out on three straight pitches.

-ForeverBWFC had been intending to get a burrito after the game, but the destruction of Rockford made that impossible. Truly, it was a tragic day for the W's all around.

Box Score





Game 3

Don May posted:


LOSERS MOVE ONE GAME AWAY FROM TITLE WITH 6-0 SHUTOUT

Bolton- The W's started Pete Alexander in this game. Historically, Alexander has been just about the most solid pitcher in Super-League history. The Losers, on the other hand, started Don Drysdale, who is a right-handed power pitcher without great control in a park known to punish exactly that type of pitcher.

And the W's still lost, and lost by the biggest margin of this series. As a result, the W's are now on the brink of losing this series, and would need to win each of the next four games to win their first Super-League Championship. With all due respect to the W's, that does not seem likely, and it appears as though this series is very nearly at its end.

That certainly appeared to be ForeverBWFC's thinking at any rate, "Okay, look, I know that this series isn't going to end well for my team, and that when Humungus wins series, he tends to celebrate by maiming his opponent, but I've built myself an escape pod that I can access right from the dugout. So, when we finally lose the last game of the series, all I have to do is climb into my escape pod and blast off to safety! It's a foolproof plan!"

ForeverBWFC then took reporters on a tour of said escape pod, which turned out to be an old Nissan sedan fitting with a number of model rockets, which ForeverBWFC explained were for "extra thrust." Asked if he really thought his modified car was going to do him any good, ForeverBWFC explained that, "By Bolton standards, this escape pod is considered state-of-the-art, it has a tape deck, power windows, and can reach speeds of 70 km/h. It seats five, in theory, but according to my latest escape plan, the W's will stay behind as a delaying force while I get to the escape pod. I promise that their sacrifice won't be in vain."

Humungus was also preparing for the end, "It's almost over. After the Super-League Finals in Super-League IX, after what happened on the moon, I knew this day would come. I will purge the Super-League of its corruption, and I will bring a new age into being. Tomorrow will be the Rockford Losers' final game in the Super-League. I promise that. UltimoDragonQuest, Beet, ForeverBWFC, I apologize for the brutalities I heaped, or will heap on you, but it was necessary. But it's almost over."

Game 4 is a potential elimination game. The Losers, knowing that lefties have a easier time of it in the Coliseum, have chosen Jerry Koosman to start for them, while the W's will give Jack McDowell a chance to save their season.

GAME NOTES

-How exactly the W's failed to score a single run in this game will be a mystery historians will study for decades. It is also likely the case that right-wing politicians will seize on this bizarre turn of events to prove the ultimate folly of socialism, as is their wont.

-Tony Oliva went 3-for-4 with a double in today's game. Another fine substitution for the Rockford Losers.

Box Score





Game 4

Don May posted:


LOSERS MOOT W'S COMEBACK AGAIN, WIN FIRST SUPER-LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP!

Bolton- The Rockford Losers are no longer the greatest team never to win a Super-League Championship!

For most of the game, it appeared a Losers win was a foregone conclusion. The Losers built a 5-0 lead headed into the final stanza, and the W's looked like they'd just about accepted their fate. Humungus was so unconcerned with the W's that he allowed Rafael Betancourt, his worst reliever, to finish out the game.

That proved an error as, badly as the W's offense had done so far in the series, they still had a little pop left in their bats. Betancourt walked the first two batters of the inning, and then Babe Ruth hit a three-run shot to bring the W's within two runs of tying the game. Betancourt then rallied to get the first two outs of the inning, but he also allowed John Olerud to hit a single, which brought the tying run to the plate in the form of Cal Ripken. Humungus, irritated, brought his closer, Randy Myers, into the game to finish the job.

Ripken, however, did not make it easy, and took a two-out walk to allow Darren Daulton to come to the plate as the potential go-ahead run. But Daulton could not extend the game any further, and instead grounded out to end the game, the series, and Super-League XI. ForeverBWFC, holding fast to his escape plan, immediately jump down into the so-called 'escape chute' as he ordered his team to screen the Losers as he made good his retreat. Instead, most of the W's decided just to call it a season, as the Losers apparently had little interest in pursuing ForeverBWFC after all. Eri Yoshida, on the other hand, was apparently willing to defend her team owner to the death, and assaulted Humungus with a baseball bat.

Humungus easily took the bat from Yoshida, and lifted her off the ground by the collar of her uniform, shaking his head at her callow attack. Yoshida, of course, was still defiant, "Okay, well, you may be able to rip my heart out, but at least ForeverBWFC got away and, in the end, I did my duty."

"Brave words, little Yoshida, but unnecessary." Humungus said in his cold, emotionless voice, still holding Yoshida aloft, "I no longer have any need of brutality. All of those acts of violence were simply means to an end. I did them so that the other teams would be shaken, less willing to fight me. But now, none of that matters. My tenure in the Super-League is complete, Yoshida, the need for such corrective punishments is similarly ended." Humungus lowered Yoshida to the ground. "Go, now. Call Smasher Dynamo, call the Macho Men, for the time has finally come for his reckoning. He will pay for all of the hurts he has caused me."

Yoshida fell to the ground, and glared up at Humungus in confusion, and turn to leave, only to be stopped by Humungus. "Wait, there is something else I want you to take back to Smasher. Bring them out, my Losers." Members of the Losers then brought out all seven of the titles he held. "These championships were important to me. But they can only be held by Super-League team and, as of today, the Rockford Losers are part of the Super-League no longer! This is the European Title, the second-oldest title in all of the league. I hereby vacate the European Title! This is the Canadian Championship, the newest and most superfluous of the titles. I hereby vacate it as well." Humungus threw both of the titles to the ground.

"This is the Larkin-Downing Heroism Award, a championship rooted in lies and deceit, the foundation of this league, I suppose. I vacate it. This is the Hardcore Title, the Losers were the first team to hold it, you know, and I vacate it as well. This is the Heavyweight Championship, the so-called 'title of good omens'. I vacate it. My half of the tag team championship is hereby vacated as well, its promise of life eternal hereby renounced in full." Humungus threw down those titles as well.

He then took hold of the United States Championship, "This...is the United States Championship. The Losers were the first team to hold it, and it was the first title we held. I won it six times, and I held it for 49 weeks. That's almost two whole seasons. I made nearly 100 defenses of the title, over 100 counting the playoffs. It is my title." Humungus paused for a moment, holding the title he had won so many times, "But that is the past, not the future. I vacate the United States Championship as well. There is nothing left for me in the Super-League, all that matters now is crushing the Macho Men and engraving my name on history! The Rockford Losers will be the first team to defeat the Macho Men, that is my vow."

The Commissar's Challenge between the Rockford Losers and Macho Men is currently scheduled to take place this Monday.

Box Score





(26 Weeks * 4 Games of the Week) + 2 Wildcard Games + 16 Divisional Round Games + 11 Championship Round Games + 4 Finals Games = 137 Full writeups.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Super-League XI was an incredibly taxing experience, and probably not worth the effort. However, after an incredible amount of hardship and misery, I hereby present you the undisputed champions of the Super-League:




ToiletofSadness!

The decision as to whether the Challenge will use DH rules or not is yours to make.

Everyone Else!

See you next season.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
I don't know if the Losers can beat the Macho Men, but I know they can win at least 3 games against them.

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ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Macho Men Challenge Roster

As you can see, Smasher, I have opted to contest this final matchup under no DH rules.

I've not opted for any fancy substitutions for this series. Unlike the Eazy Ws, the Macho Men employ no cheap gimmicks to mask a lack of talent. This is the team I rode to 103 regular season wins and a clean sweep of the playoffs. They're as ready as they'll ever be for this showdown of champions.

Lineups

vs RHP
2B Alomar
LF Speaker
SS Cronin
CF Charleston
1B Thomas
RF Robinson
C Torre
3B Frisch
P Pitcher

vs LHP
LF Speaker
RF Robinson
SS Cronin
1B Thomas
CF Charleston
C Torre
3B Youkilis
2B Kent
P Pitcher

Bench

C Martinez
2B Kent/Alomar
SS Jeter
IF Youkilis/Frisch
LF O'Doul
OF Oliva


Pitching Staff

SP Paige
SP Seaver
SP Drysdale
SP Ryan
SP Koosman
CL Smoltz
SU Bedrosian
SR Wetteland
SR Myers
MR Rhodes
LR Sabathia

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