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Professor Beetus
Apr 12, 2007

They can fight us
But they'll never Beetus

Croisquessein posted:

So it's magical thinking basically? They just assume "I did the training, I'm now awesome, watch me break cinder blocks"? Do they really think life is a cartoonvideo game? And do they try again afterwards or do they knock some sense into themselves?

Once you hit level 5 you're supposed to be able to break cinder blocks, it's a common misconception.

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Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Freudian slippers
Jun 23, 2009
US Goon shocked and appalled to find that world is a dirty, unjust place

canyoneer posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyqzpG6NN4o

This one's a classic also. Let me karate chop this metal bar instead of hitting the coconuts.

Jesus wept! You'd have to be completely delusional not to understand what would happen here. I don't know poo poo about breaking bricks or coconuts, but even I know that they 1) Must be tightly fastened and 2) Not sit at a loving metal rail with ridges on it! I'll give him credit for continuing after he broke his hand on the first strike, but then, I'll dock him credit for being an utter dumb rear end.

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos

Freudian slippers posted:

I don't know poo poo about breaking bricks or coconuts, but even I know that they 1) Must be tightly fastened and 2) Not sit at a loving metal rail with ridges on it!

That's pretty much all you need to know!

Three-Phase
Aug 5, 2006

by zen death robot

What did you think was going to happen?

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Three-Phase posted:

What did you think was going to happen?

Even the best-case scenario for that plan wasn't going to end well. The fact it got worse is the beautiful icing on the cake.

Strudel Man
May 19, 2003
ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

Three-Phase posted:

What did you think was going to happen?
Starts flying once he gets off the roof, like a magic carpet.

Drunk Driver Dad
Feb 18, 2005
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEDaCIDvj6I

This is the best martial arts schadenfreude. One of those people who believe in "life force" or whatever offers 5000 to any traditional martial artist who can beat him.

Strudel Man
May 19, 2003
ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

BlazinLow305 posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEDaCIDvj6I

This is the best martial arts schadenfreude. One of those people who believe in "life force" or whatever offers 5000 to any traditional martial artist who can beat him.
drat. I feel bad for him because he's an old man, but he really should know better.

Pook Good Mook
Aug 6, 2013


ENFORCE THE UNITED STATES DRESS CODE AT ALL COSTS!

This message paid for by the Men's Wearhouse& Jos A Bank Lobbying Group
What about that video of the woman who is at a retreat to learn how to use her "force field" powers to stop people running at her full steam in their tracks?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5xeNePF-cg

These people are allowed to vote.

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007



BlazinLow305 posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEDaCIDvj6I

This is the best martial arts schadenfreude. One of those people who believe in "life force" or whatever offers 5000 to any traditional martial artist who can beat him.

This was in the last post of the previous page, by the way.

I've always been partial to this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=In22IW_r2iE&t=128s

The payoff is about 40 seconds into the fight.

HopperUK
Apr 29, 2007

Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

Midjack posted:

This was in the last post of the previous page, by the way.

I've always been partial to this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=In22IW_r2iE&t=128s

The payoff is about 40 seconds into the fight.

I hunted around the internet and it looks like this is a video of a dude getting his back broken. A little :nms: if you're a wimp like me.

DoctorPresident
Jul 21, 2012
Does watching a bunch of nerds invest everything they have on a stupid pipe dream counts as schadenfreude?

http://valleywag.gawker.com/phase-ii-of-silicon-valleys-secession-plan-suck-up-al-1465367092/@nitasha

The second Dot-com bubble cannot burst soon enough.

TheHistoryChannel
Feb 12, 2008

That was a good example of the bad old days of mma. No weight classes, no timed rounds, no real strength or conditioning testing before fights. People cried foul about how barbaric it was. Lots of injuries and one death (due to bad reffing, in russia) ensued and all of mma was almost outlawed.

The real issue though is too many guys were thinking they were hot poo poo when they had no reason to be in the cage. The guys who dominated early mma were brutal underground fighters who had been fighting either illegally or in other countries for years. A lot of "martial arts experts" got their heads kicked in because they just weren't prepared for the situation.

Zemyla
Aug 6, 2008

I'll take her off your hands. Pleasure doing business with you!

BlazinLow305 posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEDaCIDvj6I

This is the best martial arts schadenfreude. One of those people who believe in "life force" or whatever offers 5000 to any traditional martial artist who can beat him.

ChooBongu posted:

I know this master. He was poisoned before match. This match is lie.
Oh, YouTube comments.

Lord Chumley
May 14, 2007

Embrace your destiny.

Zemyla posted:

Oh, YouTube comments.

I like to think it was a reference to Fearless

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Three-Phase posted:

What did you think was going to happen?
"Dude! Watch this! It's going to be awesome (burp)!"

Honj Steak
May 31, 2013

Hi there.

canyoneer posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyqzpG6NN4o

This one's a classic also. Let me karate chop this metal bar instead of hitting the coconuts.

Related to that one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SHfqn4oGxM

TV game show contestant fails and Jackie Chan (who is there only as a guest) steals the show despite being unprepared.

hooah
Feb 6, 2006
WTF?

Faber posted:

Related to that one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SHfqn4oGxM

TV game show contestant fails and Jackie Chan (who is there only as a guest) steals the show despite being unprepared.

I'm more impressed that he also seems to know German. I wonder how that came about?

Honj Steak
May 31, 2013

Hi there.

hooah posted:

I'm more impressed that he also seems to know German. I wonder how that came about?

In-ear headphones + interpreter, I guess.

Mephiston
Mar 10, 2006

It's Jackie Chan, he can do anything, and save anything from under-performing people. You know, like Rush Hour :v:

Ape Has Killed Ape
Sep 15, 2005

canyoneer posted:

I think this has been shown in this thread before, but here's a guy who can stop punches WITH THE POWER OF HIS MIND.:allears:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEDaCIDvj6I

He gets totally rocked when someone doesn't play pretend and actually punches him in the face. 5 or 6 times.

"I'm bleeding, making me the victor!"

Super Dan
Jan 26, 2006

canyoneer posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyqzpG6NN4o

This one's a classic also. Let me karate chop this metal bar instead of hitting the coconuts.

The thing I really don't understand about this is that the guy can't even break one coconut, and probably hasn't actually done so at any point in his life. It's like he doesn't understand that you have to practice things before you can do them.

Kennel
May 1, 2008

BAWWW-UNH!
Breaking bricks/coconuts/spines is lame. Here's a true warrior.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XimMfGbeJ0E

falconry
Oct 9, 2012

Kennel posted:

Breaking bricks/coconuts/spines is lame. Here's a true warrior.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XimMfGbeJ0E

This ended the complete opposite way I expected it to, but I think it was better for it.

KozmoNaut
Apr 23, 2008

Happiness is a warm
Turbo Plasma Rifle


Here's a similar video, a Danish guy trying to eat enough flødeboller on time to beat the world record.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fImxJPbkgRM

KozmoNaut has a new favorite as of 05:22 on Nov 16, 2013

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tR9USjpNuB0

Kite surfer does too much kiting, not enough surfing.

You never get sports injuries if you never participate in sports!
:goonsay:

moselle
Nov 18, 2012
Bobby Davro in the stocks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxYBpZ70y70

moselle has a new favorite as of 06:55 on Nov 16, 2013

Ron Paul Atreides
Apr 19, 2012

Uyghurs situation in Xinjiang? Just a police action, do not fret. Not ongoing genocide like in EVIL Canada.

I am definitely not a tankie.

canyoneer posted:


I think this has been shown in this thread before, but here's a guy who can stop punches WITH THE POWER OF HIS MIND.:allears:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEDaCIDvj6I

He gets totally rocked when someone doesn't play pretend and actually punches him in the face. 5 or 6 times.

So are his 'students' just kids playing along to gently caress with him, or did he just forget he hired people to pretend he has magic powers?

TURTLE SLUT
Dec 12, 2005

canyoneer posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tR9USjpNuB0

Kite surfer does too much kiting, not enough surfing.

You never get sports injuries if you never participate in sports!
:goonsay:
Hard to tell if the water was deep enough for him to not get injured, but if he didn't, that looks fun as hell.

Forsythia
Jan 28, 2007

You want bad advice?

Anything is okay if you don't get caught!

... I hope this helps!


Courtesy of White People Mourning Romney.

Ron Paul Atreides
Apr 19, 2012

Uyghurs situation in Xinjiang? Just a police action, do not fret. Not ongoing genocide like in EVIL Canada.

I am definitely not a tankie.

They have to be doing it ironically, because only cartoon characters expressed sadness like the one on the right is doing.

Ape Has Killed Ape
Sep 15, 2005

Samurai Quack posted:

They have to be doing it ironically, because only cartoon characters expressed sadness like the one on the right is doing.

Like their hero Willard Romney, these two women do not naturally express human emotions, and must rely on imitation.

pageerror404
Feb 14, 2012

I finally killed them.

Yup gotta be white to be republican...

Political racism drives me crazy, and both sides are equally bad.

Ron Paul Atreides
Apr 19, 2012

Uyghurs situation in Xinjiang? Just a police action, do not fret. Not ongoing genocide like in EVIL Canada.

I am definitely not a tankie.

pageerror404 posted:

Yup gotta be white to be republican...

Political racism drives me crazy, and both sides are equally bad.

Ahahahaha what

Sad lions
Sep 3, 2008

pageerror404 posted:

Yup gotta be white to be republican...

Political racism drives me crazy, and both sides are equally bad.

We like to think people won't vote against their own best interests but plenty of republicans are poor too so apparently that's not the case.

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Samurai Quack posted:

So are his 'students' just kids playing along to gently caress with him, or did he just forget he hired people to pretend he has magic powers?
People are dumb enough to believe anything. Here's another phony, of course his 'death touch' doesn't work on non-students.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ar1yXYOsxQk

This is a good review of a seminar by George Dillman, a fat guy who believes he has dragonball-z type powers.
http://www.bullshido.net/forums/showthread.php?t=10835

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right




5 minutes of skateboarders loving up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cNBfedDVwU


hooah posted:

I'm more impressed that he also seems to know German. I wonder how that came about?

Faber posted:

In-ear headphones + interpreter, I guess.

Naw, he knows nine languages.

quote:

He speaks Cantonese, Mandarin, American Sign Language, and English, and also speaks some German, Korean, Japanese, Spanish, and Thai.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackie_Chan#Personal_life

Stoatbringer
Sep 15, 2004

naw, you love it you little ho-bot :roboluv:

Samurai Quack posted:

So are his 'students' just kids playing along to gently caress with him, or did he just forget he hired people to pretend he has magic powers?

It's same as people being "knocked out" by faith healers tapping them on the head.

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mcbexx
Jul 4, 2004

British dentistry is
not on trial here!



JOHN SKELETON posted:

Hard to tell if the water was deep enough for him to not get injured, but if he didn't, that looks fun as hell.

Yup, belly flopping from what looks like 50 feet high sure is fun as hell, no matter how deep the water is.

Until the impact, I guess.

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