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Avshalom posted:please feel free to ask me at any time for a detailed rundown of what women find attractive in a man as i consider myself the last word on the subject You feelings on; Hawaiian shirts, Jam shorts, crocs and a fedora.
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Nov 27, 2013 05:19
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VendaGoat posted:You feelings on; Hawaiian shirts, Jam shorts, crocs and a fedora. the above sentence is also what i say to men who are trying to seduce me (see below) but sometimes i will consider them if they provide evidence that they'd be a suitable mate. possible mating displays include buying drinks (coffee yes, cocktails yes, bottled water no, methylated spirits no), ostentatious dress/peacocking (alarming wig + feather boa + horn-rimmed glasses + sequined nipple pasties combination yes, fursuit no) dancing (quickstep shuffle yes, white guy convulsions no, poledancing maybe) or straight-up dropping their pants and waving their dong at me in front of everybody (only consider this if your dong is impressive or you are prepared to physically battle the 2-5 policemen who come to arrest you, which i find quite erotic but only if you win) behaviour is everything, physical traits like skin/hair/eye pigmentation, body size and general hairiness are less important than generally assumed as long as you're not one of those creepy british guys with bright red skin ginger hair and no eyebrows as i will not have that poo poo in my bed, i will not have it (exceptional cases will be considered on a case-to-case basis) note: hawaiian men are exempt from the no-hawaiian-shirts rule
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Nov 27, 2013 05:49
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Old blues dudes can wear Hawaiian shirts and fedoras or whatever they drat well please. There's no excuse for crocs or whatever jam shorts are, though.
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Nov 27, 2013 05:52
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females respond to advances from unsuitable mates in various ways depending on the individual; my personal display is lying down on the floor and peeing straight up into the air while screaming loudly, which i believe is quite common and distinctive. if a woman does this, it is time to leave.
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Nov 27, 2013 05:52
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Crow Jane posted:Old blues dudes can wear Hawaiian shirts and fedoras or whatever they drat well please. There's no excuse for crocs or whatever jam shorts are, though. Crocs are fine shoes for puttering in the garden.  No big deal if you spray them with the hose, or get a rock in them, or step in the mud, nothing hurts them. All with more protection that going barefoot, and less cumbersome than rubber boots.
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Nov 27, 2013 06:20
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Crow Jane posted:Old blues dudes can wear Hawaiian shirts and fedoras or whatever they drat well please. There's no excuse for crocs or whatever jam shorts are, though. They are the 80's. Look upon them and despair! 
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Nov 27, 2013 06:35
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Avshalom posted:please feel free to ask me at any time for a detailed rundown of what women find attractive in a man as i consider myself the last word on the subject
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Nov 27, 2013 06:44
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Sabel posted:Really pretty men that look like women unless they've got some freakish juxtaposition going on where they take their shirt off and it's just this monstrous thicket of hair and a python cock hanging to their ankles and i think, my god, you really are a man and what a man, i'm blessed to perceive you otherwise, unsatisfactory
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Nov 27, 2013 06:49
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VendaGoat posted:They are the 80's. Look upon them and despair! And you wear these with a Hawaiian shirt you say?
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Nov 27, 2013 07:03
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You could camouflage yourself at Rainforest Cafe and then jump out and scare people
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Nov 27, 2013 07:05
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Shithouse Dave posted:And you wear these with a Hawaiian shirt you say? What? Is it like Denim on denim?
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Nov 27, 2013 07:06
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Dinosaur chicken nuggets: better than regular chicken nuggets?
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Nov 27, 2013 07:29
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More scar chat: I had some serious boob surgery because I never really sprouted a right boob and my left one came in all wonky so now my chest is covered in scars but I don't really care. Scars are cool in my opinion.
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Nov 27, 2013 14:32
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Declan MacManus posted:Dinosaur chicken nuggets: better than regular chicken nuggets? yes, because regular chicken nuggets are boring but dinosaur chicken nuggets are dinosaurs every single time I've seen the inside of a freezer at college it's had dino nuggets in it
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Nov 27, 2013 15:19
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Charles Bronson posted:More scar chat: My sister had a similar issue. Amazon boob . The right side just didn't really develop. She just had an implant put in that side to even them out and she's content now.
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Nov 27, 2013 18:12
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LingcodKilla posted:My sister had a similar issue. Amazon boob . The right side just didn't really develop. She just had an implant put in that side to even them out and she's content now. Hey did you ever kill that bird? I assume it was a turkey.
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Nov 27, 2013 18:17
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VanSandman posted:Hey did you ever kill that bird? I assume it was a turkey. Lol. I think you misunderstood my enthusiasm for prepping my turkey. He was already done in when I got my hands on him. I spent a good thirty minutes lifting his skin off his carcass without ripping it. Once I had a turkey skin sock I rubbed salt and herbs on to the meat and tooth picked back in place the skin sack. Stuffed it with onions and carrots and it's sitting in the fridge ready for the oven tonight. I'll add most of a bottle of wine for it to baste in also.
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Nov 27, 2013 18:45
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LingcodKilla posted:Lol. I think you misunderstood my enthusiasm for prepping my turkey. He was already done in when I got my hands on him. I spent a good thirty minutes lifting his skin off his carcass without ripping it. Once I had a turkey skin sock I rubbed salt and herbs on to the meat and tooth picked back in place the skin sack. Stuffed it with onions and carrots and it's sitting in the fridge ready for the oven tonight. I'll add most of a bottle of wine for it to baste in also. I hope your fam or whomever you're going to be eating with appreciates that, that sounds pretty good and I usually gravitate more towards the ham on Thanksgiving.
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Nov 27, 2013 18:48
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i just brine the son of a bitch
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Nov 27, 2013 18:55
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LingcodKilla posted:Lol. I think you misunderstood my enthusiasm for prepping my turkey. He was already done in when I got my hands on him. I spent a good thirty minutes lifting his skin off his carcass without ripping it. Once I had a turkey skin sock I rubbed salt and herbs on to the meat and tooth picked back in place the skin sack. Stuffed it with onions and carrots and it's sitting in the fridge ready for the oven tonight. I'll add most of a bottle of wine for it to baste in also. Haha I did, I thought you were gonna kill and prep a living bird.
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Nov 27, 2013 19:35
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Okay, here is another question for someone who is sometimes slow up on the uptake: I have been looking at the thread title for like weeks and trying to parse the joke or pun in it. "Ladies yes" I get but "m'ladies no"...does that mean "Male Ladies, no" or "Maladies, no" or is it just a way to say...ladies no? But there are supposed to be ladies! Or is this some reference that I don't get? 
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Nov 27, 2013 19:42
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glowing-fish posted:Okay, here is another question for someone who is sometimes slow up on the uptake: Gross neckbeards call women "m'lady". This thread is a neckbeard-free zone.
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Nov 27, 2013 19:43
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m'lady is a stupid malajusted fedorabeard way of addressing a woman none of that here e: dammit jane
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Nov 27, 2013 19:44
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glowing-fish posted:Okay, here is another question for someone who is sometimes slow up on the uptake: fedora neck beard types say "m'lady" instead of "miss" or "ma'am" e: double-drat
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Nov 27, 2013 19:47
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Crow Jane posted:Gross neckbeards call women "m'lady". This thread is a neckbeard-free zone. Is it a good thing that I didn't know that? I learn so much from Something Awful, but maybe I am better off knowing what "HBD" and "Dark Triad" mean.
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Nov 27, 2013 19:47
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It means "my lady," for clarification.
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Nov 27, 2013 19:47
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I was once walking down the street and it was raining a little. A neckbeard was walking by me, and said "Would you like some of my umbrella, m'lady?". I declined and got rained on instead. Also a dork in a comic book shop once called me mademoiselle.
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Nov 27, 2013 19:54
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I actually have never heard anyone say "m'lady" irl. "Ma'am" has always sufficed for me. e: glowing-fish posted:"HBD" That thread is scary
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Nov 27, 2013 19:57
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Crow Jane posted:Also a dork in a comic book shop once called me mademoiselle. I should not find this as funny as I do but jesus christ did he even say it right?
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Nov 27, 2013 19:57
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Rip_Van_Winkle posted:I should not find this as funny as I do "Good afternoon madam muscle"
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Nov 27, 2013 20:00
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Rip_Van_Winkle posted:I should not find this as funny as I do He tried to get overly French with it, like Pepe LePew or something
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Nov 27, 2013 20:01
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I have to admit I do use "excusez-moi" more than I should. foreign languages are fun
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Nov 27, 2013 20:13
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PUPDATE
VanSandman fucked around with this message at 20:18 on Nov 27, 2013 |
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Nov 27, 2013 20:14
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MY TABLES cute dogs
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Nov 27, 2013 20:15
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IN YO FACE
VanSandman fucked around with this message at 20:19 on Nov 27, 2013 |
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Nov 27, 2013 20:16
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Also gently caress tables I'm doing this from my phone and it's a bitch and a half.
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Nov 27, 2013 20:17
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Ugh fine I'll do timg
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Nov 27, 2013 20:18
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Look at those fat little things  . If I was in a house with those puppies, I would never get anything done.
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Nov 27, 2013 20:18
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VanSandman posted:PUPDATE  Lookit that big pile of furry turds. LOOKATITOMGSOCUUUUUUUTE furry little poos. Can I have one?
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Nov 27, 2013 20:18
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| # ? Jun 4, 2024 09:03 |
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Shithouse Dave posted:
1.4k and a long dog related questionnaire.
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Nov 27, 2013 20:20
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