Ask us about Buddhism: This thread is Avici

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Ask us about Buddhism: This thread is Avici

Nwabudike Morgan: Dec 31, 2007

Wow, we have a true Arahat in this thread, truly Something Awful is now reached another level of quality posters.

All the Arahats I know (I know a lot) argue with people on the internet about semantics and pedantry and then say they don't have precepts and can do whatever the hell they want to do!

# ? Dec 7, 2013 23:57

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# ? May 15, 2024 22:59

Ruddha: Jan 21, 2006; when you realize how cool and retarded everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky

I'm me, me my my own, I'm buddhist, but, you, they, them, they're, they and you are not. I'm like, essentially, awakened as poo poo, as far as me, or me myself goes, being who I am, which is me.

# ? Dec 7, 2013 23:59

the worst thing is: Oct 3, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Wait, what is it you people all thought you were doing in this thread? Now I'm really confused.

Pepsi-Tan posted:

and can do whatever the hell they want to do!

That was a joke? Wow I forgot people were this trivial.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:02

Ruddha: Jan 21, 2006; when you realize how cool and retarded everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky

Buddha raised a flower. None knew, save one. Mahakashyapa smiled, before his face wrinkled up, and he started shouting "Wow, are you guys seriously like this? Oh my god. Wow, forgot how dumb everyone is, except for me. You guys, holy guacamole."

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:07

the worst thing is: Oct 3, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

OK we're going to sarcasm mode now. Sarcasm and irony are a sickness. They are a defense against authentic expression. Say what you really think! It will be good for you.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:08

Mr. Mambold: Feb 13, 2011; Aha. Nice post.

Ruddha posted:

It's okay, I'm Mahakala.

I thought you kids were into video game superheroes.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:09

Ruddha: Jan 21, 2006; when you realize how cool and retarded everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky

The Buddha was told bathing in the Ganges purged all sin and evil from you. He laughed, and said "The fish must be holy!" Because of this, he was de-buddha'd.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:10

Mr. Mambold: Feb 13, 2011; Aha. Nice post.

Ruddha posted:

The Buddha was told bathing in the Ganges purged all sin and evil from you. He laughed, and said "The fish must be holy!" Because of this, he was de-buddha'd.

The Buddha lolled?

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:12

Ruddha: Jan 21, 2006; when you realize how cool and retarded everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky

Mr. Mambold posted:

The Buddha lolled?

He experienced pain, and expressed emotion, and therefore can not be the Buddha.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:14

People Stew: Dec 5, 2003

At the the time of the Buddha's parinibbana, Ananda waited at his side and wept when he realized the Tathagata was going to pass.
The Buddha saw this display of emotion and told Ananda he was not actually a Buddhist.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:17

the worst thing is: Oct 3, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Ruddha posted:

He experienced pain, and expressed emotion, and therefore can not be the Buddha.

You are completely mischaracterizing everything I said! But since you didn't make a good-faith serious reply, I can't either.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:17

the worst thing is: Oct 3, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Prickly Pete posted:

At the the time of the Buddha's parinibbana, Ananda waited at his side and wept when he realized the Tathagata was going to pass.
The Buddha saw this display of emotion and told Ananda he was not actually a Buddhist.

You're being foolish

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:18

the worst thing is: Oct 3, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

You're all acting like a clique rather than individuals seeking truth. This is sad..you can do better than this. Looking good in front of the guys on the internet.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:21

Ruddha: Jan 21, 2006; when you realize how cool and retarded everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky

A young monk approached Joshu, saying, "Master, I have just entered the monastery, please give me your teaching!" Joshu replied, "Have you eaten?" The young monk confirmed, "Uh, yes I have." Joshu calmly replied "Then you should wash your bowl." The young monk's face got really angry as he screamed at him "That is retarded. Are you serious? Come on. Ohhh my god. That's not even what I asked for, talk about bad faith. I'm outta here."

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:22

WAFFLEHOUND: Apr 26, 2007

I'm literally Maitreya.

ObamaCaresHugSquad posted:

You're being foolish

And you should unironically should seek professional mental health advice if you think you're an Arahat, and professional theological advice if you think your really terrible understanding of Dharma is canon.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:23

the worst thing is: Oct 3, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Close this thread.

quote:

In the Dharma Hall, Master Yunmen said:

�I will be candid with you; I know someone when I meet him. But in spite of such old women�s talk you fail to understand. You gorge yourselves every day, and after your meals you prowl up and down [from Monks� Hall to Dharma Hall]. What kind of [teaching] vessel are you looking for? You pack of wild foxes! What the hell are you doing in here?�

The Master chased all the monks at once out with his staff.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:23

Mr. Mambold: Feb 13, 2011; Aha. Nice post.

ObamaCaresHugSquad posted:

You're all acting like a clique rather than individuals seeking truth. This is sad..you can do better than this. Looking good in front of the guys on the internet.

You really don't think you're awakened do you? Because if you do, their teasing you is the very best thing you could ask for to get over that delusion, and you should bow to all.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:23

the worst thing is: Oct 3, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

WAFFLEHOUND posted:

I'm literally Maitreya.

And you should unironically should seek professional mental health advice if you think you're an Arahat, and professional theological advice if you think your really terrible understanding of Dharma is canon.

Sorry man

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:26

the worst thing is: Oct 3, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Mr. Mambold posted:

You really don't think you're awakened do you? Because if you do, their teasing you is the very best thing you could ask for to get over that delusion, and you should bow to all.

Not awakened, I never used that word. But I'm over the whole thing, and the rest is just obstacles to be patient about, rather than anything insurmountable. I'm still in the dark forest, but I see the treeline in the distance with the sun beaming through. I don't need anything to point out the direction of that treeline. You would do well to not put words in my mouth. This might be another example of failing to understand nuance.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:27

Ruddha: Jan 21, 2006; when you realize how cool and retarded everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky

The story where the buddha tells the angry young monk about pulling the arrow out rather than refusing until you know about who shot it, what kind of bow he used, where he was from, etc, but instead of "getting it", the monk goes "gently caress you bitch"

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:28

WAFFLEHOUND: Apr 26, 2007

ObamaCaresHugSquad posted:

Close this thread.

If you're an Arahat then you're incapable of lying. You said you were going to leave the thread, but you didn't. Therefore you have committed an act an Arahat is incapable of and are therefore not an Arahat.

Plus I mean your posting is pure suffering for all who see it.

Edit: "Dance puppets, dance!"

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:28

the worst thing is: Oct 3, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

WAFFLEHOUND posted:

If you're an Arahat then you're incapable of lying. You said you were going to leave the thread, but you didn't. Therefore you have committed an act an Arahat is incapable of and are therefore not an Arahat.

Plus I mean your posting is pure suffering for all who see it.

Edit: "Dance puppets, dance!"

Arahants are not incapable of lying. They just have no reason to. You don't want me to leave though. This thread is so much more interesting with me in it. But I will eventually.

Ruddha posted:

The story where the buddha tells the angry young monk about pulling the arrow out rather than refusing until you know about who shot it, what kind of bow he used, where he was from, etc, but instead of "getting it", the monk goes "gently caress you bitch"

I like this one

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:31

Mr. Mambold: Feb 13, 2011; Aha. Nice post.

WAFFLEHOUND posted:

If you're an Arahat then you're incapable of lying. You said you were going to leave the thread, but you didn't. Therefore you have committed an act an Arahat is incapable of and are therefore not an Arahat.

Plus I mean your posting is pure suffering for all who see it.

Edit: "Dance puppets, dance!"

Dude show some compassion.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:33

People Stew: Dec 5, 2003

ObamaCaresHugSquad posted:

Not awakened, I never used that word. But I'm over the whole thing, and the rest is just obstacles to be patient about, rather than anything insurmountable. I'm still in the dark forest, but I see the treeline in the distance with the sun beaming through. I don't need anything to point out the direction of that treeline. You would do well to not put words in my mouth. This might be another example of failing to understand nuance.

ObamaCaresHugSquad posted:

I don't need to learn about Dharma anymore (but I will). I reached the end (well, near it). And I am trying to show the way. I

Maybe you didn't claim to be awakened, but that seems to be a claim of some attainment. Maybe not an arahant, maybe just a sotāpanna. Either way, it indicates a very high level of attainment that comes after decades of study and meditation. It also means the person has done away with self-view, and has perfected Right View. Considering that your view of suffering is unorthodox to what the Buddha actually taught, I'm going to just go out on a limb and say that isn't true. But being that I am apparently not a Buddhist I can not be trusted in these things.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:33

PrinceRandom: Feb 26, 2013

ObamaCaresHugSquad posted:

Arahants are not incapable of lying. They just have no reason to. You don't want me to leave though. This thread is so much more interesting with me in it. But I will eventually.

I like this one

I guess it got Ruddha to post in here and the post count is like twice as much as it has been in a previous month time span.

Is it worth it :shrug:

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:34

Mr. Mambold: Feb 13, 2011; Aha. Nice post.

PrinceRandom posted:

I guess it got Ruddha to post in here and the post count is like twice as much as it has been in a previous month time span.

Is it worth it

Is it helping your depression? Because if so, it's all worth it, imo, and maybe we owe ObamaHugSquad a :tipshat:

for skillful means?.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:38

the worst thing is: Oct 3, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Prickly Pete posted:

Maybe you didn't claim to be awakened, but that seems to be a claim of some attainment. Maybe not an arahant, maybe just a sotāpanna. Either way, it indicates a very high level of attainment that comes after decades of study and meditation. It also means the person has done away with self-view, and has perfected Right View. Considering that your view of suffering is unorthodox to what the Buddha actually taught, I'm going to just go out on a limb and say that isn't true. But being that I am apparently not a Buddhist I can not be trusted in these things.

I got fast-tracked, thank god. We're still talking about what the Buddha taught and didn't teach, and I went over this multiple times before without adequate response from you or anyone else. Actually once I brought out my final argument, I got no responses just name-calling, so I know I had been understood (but not appreciated) then. You are foolish to bring it up again as a detraction from my point.

And I don't care where I am in Theravadic conceptions. I'm not even going to speculate. It is my own understanding (or movement towards cessation of interest in understanding), and not worth applying to any tradition anymore. I did at first, but no longer.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:38

People Stew: Dec 5, 2003

ObamaCaresHugSquad posted:

Arahants are not incapable of lying. They just have no reason to.

quote:

It is impossible for a monk whose mental fermentations are ended to intentionally deprive a living being of life. It is impossible for a monk whose mental fermentations are ended to take, in the manner of stealing, what is not given. It is impossible for a monk whose mental fermentations are ended to engage in sexual intercourse. It is impossible for a monk whose mental fermentations are ended to tell a conscious lie. It is impossible for a monk whose mental fermentations are ended to consume stored-up sensual things as he did before, when he was a householder.' Now, did I hear this rightly from the Blessed One? Did I learn it rightly, attend to it rightly, understand it rightly?"

"Yes, Sutavan, you heard it rightly, learned it rightly, attended to it rightly, & understood it rightly. Both before & now I say to you that an arahant monk whose mental fermentations are ended, who has reached fulfillment, done the task, laid down the burden, attained the true goal, totally destroyed the fetter of becoming, and who is released through right gnosis, cannot possibly transgress these nine principles.

"[1] It is impossible for a monk whose mental fermentations are ended to intentionally deprive a living being of life. [2] It is impossible for a monk whose mental fermentations are ended to take, in the manner of stealing, what is not given. [3] It is impossible for a monk whose mental fermentations are ended to engage in sexual intercourse. [4] It is impossible for a monk whose mental fermentations are ended to tell a conscious lie. [5] It is impossible for a monk whose mental fermentations are ended to consume stored-up sensual things as he did before, when he was a householder.

Sutava Sutta

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:39

Ruddha: Jan 21, 2006; when you realize how cool and retarded everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky

Prickly Pete posted:

Sutava Sutta

[in lotus posture] well that's like *leg starts cramping up* [strained] your, opinion man.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:41

People Stew: Dec 5, 2003

ObamaCaresHugSquad posted:

Actually once I brought out my final argument, I got no responses just name-calling, so I know I had been understood (but not appreciated) then. You are foolish to bring it up again as a detraction from my point.

That is seriously the conclusion that you have come to? That instead of being tired of your tedious replies, that everyone just suddenly understood your wisdom and had no rebuttal?

quote:

And I don't care where I am in Theravadic conceptions. I'm not even going to speculate. It is my own understanding (or movement towards cessation of interest in understanding), and not worth applying to any tradition anymore. I did at first, but no longer.

This has nothing to do with Theravada or any tradition. These are very simple, fundamental points that all traditions agree on. Except you.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:41

WAFFLEHOUND: Apr 26, 2007

ObamaCaresHugSquad posted:

Arahants are not incapable of lying. They just have no reason to.

quote:

Five impossibilities, to wit, for an arahant intentionally to take life, or to take what is not given, so as to amount to theft, or to commit sexual offense, or to lie deliberately, or to spend stored-up treasure in worldly enjoyments, as in the days before he left the world. MN - I.523

. . . the arhant monk . . . cannot transgress nine standards: a monk in whom the cankers are destroyed, cannot deliberately take life of any living thing; cannot, with intention steal, take that which is not given; cannot engage in carnal intercourse; cannot intentionally tell a lie; cannot enjoy pleasures from savings, as of yore when a householder; . . . cannot go astray through desire, cannot go astray through hate; cannot go astray through delusion; cannot go astray through fear. AN IV.370.

Whoops, your understanding of dharma is flawed, oh grating one.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:42

the worst thing is: Oct 3, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Prickly Pete posted:

Sutava Sutta

Earlier in the thread, I would talk a lot more about what constitutes a lie, but I don't feel like it anymore, because you're in baby "I want to be right" mode. But a quote from Wittgenstein is instructive: "Someone who knows too much finds it difficult not to lie". He was referring specifically to semantic usage of language, but it can be understood more broadly as well. It is very difficult to speak clearly. I would agree though, that the intent to deceive for personal gain would not exist for an Arahant.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:42

Ruddha: Jan 21, 2006; when you realize how cool and retarded everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky

ObamaCaresHugSquad posted:

Earlier in the thread, I would talk a lot more about what constitutes a lie, but I don't feel like it anymore, because you're in baby "I want to be right" mode. But a quote from Wittgenstein is instructive: "Someone who knows too much finds it difficult not to lie". He was referring specifically to semantic usage of language, but it can be understood more broadly as well. It is very difficult to speak clearly. I would agree though, that the intent to deceive for personal gain would not exist for an Arahant.

So then, you weren't really lying, you were using irony to make a point? drat dude, irony and sarcasm is like, hiding your true speech. you condemn yourself to a hell of infinite blackness without hope of release, my man

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:43

the worst thing is: Oct 3, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Prickly Pete posted:

That is seriously the conclusion that you have come to? That instead of being tired of your tedious replies, that everyone just suddenly understood your wisdom and had no rebuttal?

This has nothing to do with Theravada or any tradition. These are very simple, fundamental points that all traditions agree on. Except you.

You're just being stupid at this point. Adhominems and pointlessness.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:43

Mr. Mambold: Feb 13, 2011; Aha. Nice post.

Ruddha posted:

[in lotus posture] well that's like *leg starts cramping up* [strained] your, opinion man.

lol. Quit posting my sadhana!

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:44

the worst thing is: Oct 3, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Ruddha posted:

So then, you weren't really lying, you were using irony to make a point? drat dude, irony and sarcasm is like, hiding your true speech. you condemn yourself to a hell of infinite blackness without hope of release, my man

No..I was serious. I wasn't going to respond to Wafflehound's nonsense, but then I wanted to reply to the Naropa comment. I don't know why I am still here. It's like a trainwreck in slow motion for all of us I guess.

Actually, you're right, I still suffer from the sickness of irony. My bad?

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:45

Guildencrantz: May 1, 2012; IM ONE OF THE GOOD ONES

PrinceRandom posted:

I guess it got Ruddha to post in here and the post count is like twice as much as it has been in a previous month time span.

Is it worth it

As an outside lurker, I've always wanted to find out what a Buddhist flamewar looks like, so this thread has certainly taken a turn for the entertaining!

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:47

PrinceRandom: Feb 26, 2013

ObamaCaresHugSquad posted:

No..I was serious. I wasn't going to respond to Wafflehound's nonsense, but then I wanted to reply to the Naropa comment. I don't know why I am still here. It's like a trainwreck in slow motion for all of us I guess.

Actually, you're right, I still suffer from the sickness of irony. My bad?

For someone with no attachments you're really determined for us to see things your way.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:47

Ruddha: Jan 21, 2006; when you realize how cool and retarded everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky

ObamaCaresHugSquad posted:

No..I was serious. I wasn't going to respond to Wafflehound's nonsense, but then I wanted to reply to the Naropa comment. I don't know why I am still here. It's like a trainwreck in slow motion for all of us I guess.

ObamaCaresHugSquad posted:

And I've taken no precepts. No precepts in my tradition. I can do whatever the hell I want, lol..

ObamaCaresHugSquad posted:

That was a joke? Wow I forgot people were this trivial.

Keep your story straight before I go Asura on your rear end, spiritually.

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:47

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# ? May 15, 2024 22:59

the worst thing is: Oct 3, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Guildencrantz posted:

As an outside lurker, I've always wanted to find out what a Buddhist flamewar looks like, so this thread has certainly taken a turn for the entertaining!

Getting people mad has its own rewards

Namely, people start saying what they really think

the worst thing is fucked around with this message at 00:50 on Dec 8, 2013

# ? Dec 8, 2013 00:47

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Ask us about Buddhism: This thread is Avici

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