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Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:I dunno if it's the pink hoodie, or the weird lift/twerk thing the person on the bottom is doing, or the face pink is making after getting faceslammed by the weight, but holy poo poo this is mesmerizing. 
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Dec 22, 2013 19:13
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| # ? Jun 6, 2024 11:07 |
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 quote:According to a court affidavit, Maynard had been drinking whiskey when he began to behave abusively towards his wife. He reportedly began by throwing a Wii remote at her, then pumped a presumably loaded a pellet rifle, pointed it at her and said, “You deserve to die.” http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/blog/2013/12/20/police-wife-beat-the-crap-out-of-husband-who-assaulted-her/index.html
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Dec 22, 2013 19:30
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Proper Hoodidge posted:
I look forward to hearing about this man being the martyr for Men's Rights.
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Dec 22, 2013 20:37
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Hwbrgdtse posted:Kid gets into a fight with his parents when they try to get him to stop playing WoW. He was on vent the whole time though: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwql6_RJ348 (Oldie but goodie.) There's a similar video but the figure's mouth would move when the player spoke. So you had a big burly man covered with weapons with the voice of a kid absolutely screaming at his mother. \/\/\/ Thanks. Darth Brooks has a new favorite as of 05:53 on Dec 23, 2013 |
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Dec 22, 2013 20:57
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I WANT CHOCOLATE MILK https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfwOqlnCKQs
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Dec 22, 2013 21:05
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Finally! Shadenfreude at work! I manage a comic book/game shop/sport collectibles store in Indiana. It's the holidays so there's always some jerky rear end in a top hat who wants to make a huge fuss about not finding what they want 4 days before Christmas. Yesterday, one such person came into the store. Being that it's Indiana, we have a heavy focus on Colts and Indiana based schools merchandise. This guy came in and wandered the store for 30 minutes, ignoring my staff's offers of help. He finally came up to one of them and said "Where's the loving USC poo poo?" My employee said she'd look in the inventory and see what we had but that appeared to not be good enough for him and he started shouting at her that it should be easy to find what he wanted. He made a few comments about "the loving Colts, loving Purdue, loving Notre Dame" before she asked him to quite down. I excused myself from the customer I was aiding and started over to tell him to leave just when he lost it. "THIS IS loving BULLSHIT! HOW THE gently caress CAN YOU NOT HAVE WHAT CUSTOMERS WANT???" And he kicked a display over. So we're kind of freaked, I tell him he has to leave and he gets up in my face and says "MAKE ME MOTHERFUCKER." Now thankfully, one of my other staff had already gotten on his phone and called security when he started yelling at the other employee. Dude was pretty big and she's a tiny little thing so my other staff freaked out thinking she was in danger. And during the holidays security is off duty police officers. So just as he's getting in my face two cops enter the store. Suddenly he's totally calm and says we were being rude to him and other bullshit, swears he didn't kick over the display and we're trying to make him look bad. Thank god for cameras. I show the cops the footage and they tell the guy he can either clean up what he kicked or go to jail. He throws a little fit about this and puts a half assed effort into cleaning it up until the cops prod him again. He finishes and they write up a report up, tell him he can never come to our store again. He says that's bullshit, gets a little loud and then looks at me and says "I EVER SEE YOU OUTSIDE OF HERE I'M GONNA loving KICK YOUR rear end FOR THIS." The look of joy on the cops faces was fantastic. One of them says "You know it's against the law to even make that threat right?" They start to pull him out of the store and he shoves heir hands away. This ends with him facedown on the floor yelling and kicking and being dragged out. I have to fill out a full report, dude's now banned from the entire property. Cops will now be checking in with us daily to make sure everything is calm and safe. I might have made the Nelson laugh when they put him on the floor. Edit: This is by far the worst incident I've ever had at Christmas in 7 years of working there. Rhyno has a new favorite as of 21:12 on Dec 22, 2013 |
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Dec 22, 2013 21:07
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That's beautiful 
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Dec 22, 2013 21:15
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Rhyno posted:... I had a customer ask 'what are you going to do about it'? After stealing a bottle of whiskey from the bar I bartended at. What I did was ask one of the off-duty cops who were always at my bar, "Can you arrest him?" and they said "Sure!" and he got arrested. I also got my job at that place after the bartender before me had threatened a travelling roadhow of lesbians who were drinking there with a knife. He was saying dumb anti-gay poo poo to them and they were taunting him about the putative size of his dick. After he threatened them with the knife they smacked him around with the jelly dong and made fun of him. There were two off duty cops there at the time but they waited until the lesbians had actually got him curled up in the fetal position before intervening. I got hired on the basis of being unlikely to threaten lesbians with a knife even if they were making fun of my penis.
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Dec 22, 2013 21:21
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Obdicut posted:I had a customer ask 'what are you going to do about it'? After stealing a bottle of whiskey from the bar I bartended at. What I did was ask one of the off-duty cops who were always at my bar, "Can you arrest him?" and they said "Sure!" and he got arrested. I think your story has a better payoff than mine. We've had some jerks in our time (I have a great Brony story in the Ugly/Awkward thread) but this guy was the absolute worst dude. Looming over a 5 ft tall girl is a great way to ruin your own night.
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Dec 22, 2013 21:24
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Rhyno posted:I think your story has a better payoff than mine. poo poo yeah, I got a bartending job out of it. Kind of doesn't count as schadenfreude because of a literal payoff. Being a bartender gets you a lot of good schadenfreude, not all of which you have to manufacture yourself. Seeing bad tippers get rejected by women specifically for being bad tippers was always nice. Loud-as-gently caress sports fans literally crying when their teams lose. Guys who skipped out on the bill leaving behind expensive jackets. Tip-stealers trying to run out of the bar and not realizing the top stair was twice as high as the rest of them, sending them flying downwards. Drink-stealers grabbing drinks that have been ashed in. All these moments will be lost like tears in the rain.
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Dec 22, 2013 21:29
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I worked security/bar back for 8 years off and on and I have almost no great stories. I usually missed all the best stuff because I was hauling kegs in the back.
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Dec 22, 2013 21:31
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Dec 22, 2013 22:35
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Doesn't seem to be that effective a punishment tbh.
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Dec 22, 2013 23:01
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What did he cheat on? His sophomore math finals?
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Dec 22, 2013 23:03
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This one makes me so depressed, I hope it's fake.
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Dec 22, 2013 23:05
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Dork tries to hit on a girl over vent, cries when she rejects him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRkao-gyZC0
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Dec 22, 2013 23:20
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Rhyno posted:What did he cheat on? His sophomore math finals? His girlfriend/wife I assume.
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Dec 22, 2013 23:40
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RatHat posted:His girlfriend/wife I assume. I was implying that they look to be very young.
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Dec 22, 2013 23:43
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Rhyno posted:I worked security/bar back for 8 years off and on and I have almost no great stories. I usually missed all the best stuff because I was hauling kegs in the back. I bounced a gay bar. There were less of the usual bar disagreements and alot more sexual harassment leading into fights. Way too many guys who are about what you'd expect a gay neckbeard shutin to be who thought that liking penises gave them free license to grope any and all men they decided they want to. And then I'd end up having to break up a fight before they got their face pounded in by the guy they groped and his boyfriend. The one truly hilarious story about this that I have was the time that one of these guys groped a gay dude who was there with his boyfriend who happened to be an off duty cop. Me and another bouncer moved in to break things up and the guy pinning Mr. Handsy to the ground pulled out his badge and everyone in the crowd agreed that there had been some serious sexual assault, like dude walked up and stuck his hands down an off duty cop's pants with the apparent intent of sticking a finger up his rear end or something. When I got there the dude on his face had a bloody nose and a quickly darkening black eye, and he looked up at me like I was going to pull the cop who was pulling cuffs out of a back pocket off of him. Yeah, nope. I called my manager down and told him what was going on and the cop had his picture put up behind the bar and his first two rounds were free whenever he showed up. The story got around and the next few months were really quiet as that cop started coming just about every night after work.
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Dec 23, 2013 00:16
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amazing
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Dec 23, 2013 00:17
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Dec 23, 2013 00:32
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Dec 23, 2013 00:39
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Everyone one of those Text Fails is fake.
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Dec 23, 2013 00:40
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Rhyno posted:Everyone one of those Text Fails is fake. I really like the ones where it's a screenshot and the screen is terribly proportioned, due to whatever image macro site it's from. e: like this:  Introducing the world's first 4:3 iPhone! Morzhovyye has a new favorite as of 01:18 on Dec 23, 2013 |
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Dec 23, 2013 01:16
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What is that, salt?
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Dec 23, 2013 01:34
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Pneub posted:What is that, salt? Snow/ice.
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Dec 23, 2013 01:38
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hooah posted:Snow/ice. If it was it'd probably be floating after it fell in the water. I think that's the Dead Sea there anyways.
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Dec 23, 2013 02:04
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Looks like ice to me, the video doesn't say anything about location.
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Dec 23, 2013 02:25
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I reverse Googled it and the source seems to be a now-deleted video called "Ice Breaking Fail" so it seems to be ice, although now I'm curious as to why it doesn't float like one would expect.
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Dec 23, 2013 02:35
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Ice only barely floats, and where it falls there it's resting on the river bed with a fair bit above the water. The water would need to be deeper for it to float, basically.
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Dec 23, 2013 02:42
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Actually, it looks like it might be sinking into some soft mud, too. Ok let's shut up about ice now.    
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Dec 23, 2013 03:01
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Ah, the coveted "pre-schaudenfreude".quote:
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Dec 23, 2013 03:15
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"I'm sure I'll be able to fit my car in there. I mean, I wouldn't want to waste more parking space than necessary in the middle of loving nowhere" 
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Dec 23, 2013 03:23
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Given that there's a path (look under the back wheels), I really don't think that was intentional.
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Dec 23, 2013 03:35
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quote:What the hell happened here?
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Dec 23, 2013 03:54
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Senior Woodchuck posted:What the hell happened here? Plastic carafe put on a stove to keep warm.
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Dec 23, 2013 03:55
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Oh. Just what I thought it was, but couldn't possibly be, then.
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Dec 23, 2013 04:03
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Senior Woodchuck posted:What the hell happened here? Someone told grandma to put the water boiler on.
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Dec 23, 2013 04:05
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Cat Army |
What I wonder is what happened in the car one.
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Dec 23, 2013 04:08
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| # ? Jun 6, 2024 11:07 |
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Morkyz posted:What I wonder is what happened in the car one. ice
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Dec 23, 2013 04:31
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