The Simpsons Quote Thread - Put a sock in it, Roy

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > The Simpsons Quote Thread - Put a sock in it, Roy

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DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix, hmm?

Eh...that's really more of a burgundy.

# ? Dec 27, 2013 02:31

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# ? May 10, 2024 16:44

Mister Kingdom: Dec 14, 2005; And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Skeesix posted:

Don't worry, I'll get us there...

The only way I know how

Let us never speak of the shortcut again.

# ? Dec 27, 2013 03:17

Kwik: Apr 4, 2006; You can't touch our beaver.

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix, hmm?

Put it in н!

# ? Dec 27, 2013 03:27

NoMoneyDown: Jan 27, 2009; I've got the advantage. You've got nothing.

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix, hmm?

What advantages does this motor car have over, say, a train, which I could also afford?

# ? Dec 27, 2013 04:26

Captain Foxy: Jun 13, 2007; I love Hitler and Hitler loves me! He's not all bad, Hitler just needs someone to believe in him! Can't you just give Hitler a chance?

Quality Pugamutes now available, APR/APRI/NKC approved breeder. PM for details.

NoMoneyDown posted:

What advantages does this motor car have over, say, a train, which I could also afford?

But Main Street's still all cracked and broken!
Sorry Mom, the mob has spoken!
Monorail, Monorail, Monoraaaaaaiiiiillll

# ? Dec 27, 2013 04:42

Writer Cath: Apr 1, 2007; Box. Flipped.; Plaster Town Cop

Mono!

# ? Dec 27, 2013 05:50

ShaqDiesel: Mar 21, 2013

Mono = one
Rail = rail

# ? Dec 27, 2013 06:57

CatchrNdRy: Mar 15, 2005; Receiver of the Rye.

ShaqDiesel posted:

Mono = one
Rail = rail

2-3 = Negative Fun!

# ? Dec 27, 2013 07:05

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

ShaqDiesel posted:

Mono = one
Rail = rail

Miss! What does the "I" stand for?

Ooh, how about the "V?"

Ooh, and miss, one more question...

# ? Dec 27, 2013 07:19

Everything Counts: Oct 10, 2012; Don't "shhh!" me, you rich bastard!

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Miss! What does the "I" stand for?

Ooh, how about the "V?"

Ooh, and miss, one more question...

Well, I'm no Margaret Cho, but I do a pretty fair Columbo impression. "Eh, one more thing... One..." I should get a glass of water.

# ? Dec 27, 2013 07:55

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Janeane Garafolo posted:

I got my period today. Plus I got a new boyfriend, and you know how it is when you're kissing a guy with a tongue stud.

Yes! Yes! Oh God, yes! :cawg:

# ? Dec 27, 2013 08:14

jscolon2.0: Jul 9, 2001; With great payroll, comes great disappointment.

Everything Counts posted:

Well, I'm no Margaret Cho, but I do a pretty fair Columbo impression. "Eh, one more thing... One..." I should get a glass of water.

I did watch an episode of Matlock last night. The sound was off, but I think I got the gist of it.

# ? Dec 27, 2013 16:15

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

jscolon2.0 posted:

I did watch an episode of Matlock last night. The sound was off, but I think I got the gist of it.

That was a right-pretty speech, sir. But I ask you, what is a contract? jscolon2.0 defines it as "an agreement under the law which is unbreakable." Which is unbreakable!

# ? Dec 27, 2013 16:22

BloodDesk UnderHell: Sep 24, 2007; Wow! He licks good boot!

Pander posted:

That was a right-pretty speech, sir. But I ask you, what is a contract? jscolon2.0 defines it as "an agreement under the law which is unbreakable." Which is unbreakable!

I'm afraid your son broke the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not steal.

# ? Dec 27, 2013 16:28

twerking on the railroad: Jun 23, 2007; Get on my level

BloodDesk UnderHell posted:

I'm afraid your son broke the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not steal.

Yep. Shame I know. Well, in any case try to have a happy holiday, Mrs. Simpson.

...

They weren't home, so I left a message.

# ? Dec 27, 2013 16:38

Captain Foxy: Jun 13, 2007; I love Hitler and Hitler loves me! He's not all bad, Hitler just needs someone to believe in him! Can't you just give Hitler a chance?

Quality Pugamutes now available, APR/APRI/NKC approved breeder. PM for details.

Skeesix posted:

Yep. Shame I know. Well, in any case try to have a happy holiday, Mrs. Simpson.

...

They weren't home, so I left a message.

Hello Mudda, hello Fadda,
Here I am at
Camp Granada

# ? Dec 27, 2013 16:42

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

BloodDesk UnderHell posted:

I'm afraid your son broke the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not steal.

Thou shalt not covet... graven images... something about "covet."

# ? Dec 27, 2013 17:04

CharlieFoxtrot: Mar 27, 2007; organize digital employees

Captain Foxy posted:

Hello Mudda, hello Fadda,
Here I am at
Camp Granada

Skeesix, is Captain Foxy at Camp Granada? :confused:

# ? Dec 27, 2013 17:04

Moneypenny Dreadful: Jan 24, 2008; demon secretary

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

Skeesix, is Captain Foxy at Camp Granada?

Dear Charlie,

I no longer fear Hell, because I've been to Kamp Kwote Thread. Our nature hikes have become grim death marches. Our arts and crafts hut is, in truth, a Dickensian workhouse.

Captain Foxy makes it through the day clinging to his hope that Krusty will come. But I am far more pessimistic.

I am not even sure if this post will reach you, as the normal lines of communication have been cut. So I close by saying, SAVE US! SAVE US NOW!

# ? Dec 27, 2013 17:46

I Love Loosies: Jan 4, 2013

Gentlemen, to evil!

# ? Dec 27, 2013 18:15

jscolon2.0: Jul 9, 2001; With great payroll, comes great disappointment.

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Thou shalt not covet... graven images... something about "covet."

I think I'm coveting my own wife.

# ? Dec 27, 2013 18:25

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

jscolon2.0 posted:

I think I'm coveting my own wife.

I've done everything the Bible says! Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!

# ? Dec 27, 2013 18:31

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

jscolon2.0 posted:

I think I'm coveting my own wife.

I just stopped caring. Luckily, by then it was the Eighties, and no one noticed.

# ? Dec 27, 2013 18:38

Samuel Clemens: Oct 4, 2013; I think we should call the Avengers.

Pander posted:

I've done everything the Bible says! Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!

Yes, but doesn't the bible also say "Thou shalt not take moochers into thy hut"?

# ? Dec 27, 2013 18:54

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

Samuel Clemens posted:

Yes, but doesn't the bible also say "Thou shalt not take moochers into thy hut"?

It's in Revelations, people!

# ? Dec 27, 2013 19:10

Bjay9: May 3, 2011; Kid, touch is for video games and gynecologists

Pander posted:

It's in Revelations, people!

Is it? Or is that you goons can't admit you have a problem?

# ? Dec 27, 2013 19:37

Elfface: Nov 14, 2010; Da-na-na-na-na-na-na
IRON JONAH

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Thou shalt not covet... graven images... something about "covet."

To overcome the spider's curse,
Simply quote a bible verse!

# ? Dec 27, 2013 19:59

Jackie D: May 27, 2009; Democracy is like a tambourine - not everyone can be trusted with it.

Bjay9 posted:

Is it? Or is that you goons can't admit you have a problem?

Oh my god you're right! I'm a rageaholic

I just can't live without rageahol!!!

# ? Dec 27, 2013 20:00

CatchrNdRy: Mar 15, 2005; Receiver of the Rye.

BloodDesk UnderHell posted:

I'm afraid your son broke the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not steal.

If i wanted smoke blown up my rear end I�d be at home with a pack of cigarettes and a short length of hose.

# ? Dec 27, 2013 20:22

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Pander posted:

I've done everything the Bible says! Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!

Talk is cheap. Here is a test of your faith: walk through the wall. I will remove it for you! Later

# ? Dec 27, 2013 20:46

Technogeek: Sep 9, 2002; by FactsAreUseless

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Talk is cheap. Here is a test of your faith: walk through the wall. I will remove it for you! Later

Do you want a happy God, or an angry God?

# ? Dec 27, 2013 21:12

Tokelau All Star: Feb 23, 2008; THE TAXES! THE FINGER THING MEANS THE TAXES!

Thou shalt not horn in on thy husband's . . . racket.

# ? Dec 27, 2013 21:15

twerking on the railroad: Jun 23, 2007; Get on my level

Moneypenny Dreadful posted:

Dear Charlie,

I no longer fear Hell, because I've been to Kamp Kwote Thread. Our nature hikes have become grim death marches. Our arts and crafts hut is, in truth, a Dickensian workhouse.

Captain Foxy makes it through the day clinging to his hope that Krusty will come. But I am far more pessimistic.

I am not even sure if this post will reach you, as the normal lines of communication have been cut. So I close by saying, SAVE US! SAVE US NOW!

Awww, she's so sad now, but when it's time to stop quoting, she won't want to leave!

# ? Dec 27, 2013 21:17

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

Skeesix posted:

Awww, she's so sad now, but when it's time to stop quoting, she won't want to leave!

Moneypenny, I've made a decision. Next time I'm banned I'm getting a job.

# ? Dec 27, 2013 21:44

Samuel Clemens: Oct 4, 2013; I think we should call the Avengers.

IMJack posted:

Moneypenny, I've made a decision. Next time I'm banned I'm getting a job.

You?

Get a job? Were they serious? I didn't realize it at the time, but a little bit of my childhood had slipped away, forever.

Samuel Clemens fucked around with this message at 22:54 on Dec 27, 2013

# ? Dec 27, 2013 22:51

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

I am through with working. Working is for chumps.

# ? Dec 27, 2013 23:32

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

Drink-Mix Man posted:

I am through with working. Working is for chumps.

Do you even have a job anymore?

# ? Dec 28, 2013 00:03

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

IMJack posted:

Do you even have a job anymore?

Little goon, I've had lots of jobs in my day: whale hunter, seal clubber, president of the Fox network. And like most people, yeah, I've dealt a little ivory.

# ? Dec 28, 2013 00:27

BloodDesk UnderHell: Sep 24, 2007; Wow! He licks good boot!

Samuel Clemens posted:

You?

Get a job? Were they serious? I didn't realize it at the time, but a little bit of my childhood had slipped away, forever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4ga_M5Zdn4

He didn't say it, and neither did I, but at that moment, Samuel Clemens and I were closer than we...

# ? Dec 28, 2013 00:28

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# ? May 10, 2024 16:44

Man Alive!: Jul 21, 2004; There IS a spoon, LOOK.

BloodDesk UnderHell posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4ga_M5Zdn4

He didn't say it, and neither did I, but at that moment, Samuel Clemens and I were closer than we...

Don't be reading my mind between four and five. That's Man Alive!'s time!

# ? Dec 28, 2013 00:38

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > The Simpsons Quote Thread - Put a sock in it, Roy

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