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I still crack up about the royal baby. They really went to town with that one.
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Dec 23, 2013 16:36
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Their Year in Review is great for finding the stuff you missed: 13 Adorable Photos Of Baby Farm Animals, But With Each Click, Another Appendage Will Be Cut Off Our Finance Director’s Body. How Far Will You Go? When Will You Let It Stop?
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Dec 23, 2013 18:11
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Peter Rosenthal Reviews "It's a Wonderful Life" I'm disappointed they didn't talk about the fact that the modern value of that money is $95,618.05
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Dec 24, 2013 05:47
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:Peter Rosenthal Reviews "It's a Wonderful Life" The Onion Film Standard has quickly become one of my favorite parts of the Onion, it's just so masterful, and the guy playing the film critic is brilliant. At this point I can't even go a day without watching their review of The Desolation of Smaug. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIy_uLF6xI8
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Dec 24, 2013 05:59
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Religious Cousin Ruins Family's Christmas
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Dec 25, 2013 04:35
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This hits way too close to home: Relatives Gather From Across The Country To Stare Into Screens Together Related, from a few years ago: Report: 90% Of Waking Hours Spent Staring At Glowing Rectangles
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Dec 26, 2013 05:24
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http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-nhl-actually-has-had-hundreds-of-openly-gay,32639/
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Dec 30, 2013 18:55
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That last paragraph, holy poo poo.
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Dec 30, 2013 20:46
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Skeesix posted:http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-nhl-actually-has-had-hundreds-of-openly-gay,32639/ That's a long way to go for a one line shot at hockey fans, but it's totally worth it.
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Dec 30, 2013 21:26
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And just because http://www.theonion.com/articles/dick-vitale-enthusiastic-about-latest-alqaeda-plot,34146/
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Dec 31, 2013 04:01
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Study: Majority Of Web Traffic Not Human
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Jan 3, 2014 18:42
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Local church full of brainwashed idiots feeds town's poor and homeless
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Jan 3, 2014 19:05
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New Report Confirms You Are Most Interesting, Most Important Individual On Earth I know it's true - I live in Chapel Hill.
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Jan 3, 2014 19:47
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It's not quite as good as the Obama/Audubon Society article but it's funny nonetheless: Top Twitter Feuds of 2013
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Jan 3, 2014 19:48
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The Onion to Cease Operations in 2014
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Jan 5, 2014 00:01
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New Forced-Retirement Community Opens For Local 60-Year-Olds
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Jan 5, 2014 00:57
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Don't do that to me.
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Jan 6, 2014 05:10
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Don't worry, its a fake. I looked around and there's absolutely no other news stories besides that one that say The Onion is ending. Besides, that article was published six months ago and mentions 'the 2014 US Presidential Election'.
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Jan 6, 2014 17:24
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It's a joke. A weak joke, but obviously a joke. Basically "Poe's law is killing the Onion".
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Jan 6, 2014 18:11
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E: never mind; beaten
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Jan 6, 2014 18:47
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Man Unknowingly Purchases Lifetime Supply Of Condoms
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Jan 6, 2014 18:49
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Mouth-watering, and hilarious: Big, Sloppy Chicken Parm Hovers Alluringly Above Nation
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Jan 7, 2014 13:43
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NFL Scouts Impressed By College Quarterback’s Ability To Elude Criminal Justice System
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Jan 7, 2014 19:47
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Classmates Admit School Shooter Showed Them, Showed Them All
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Jan 8, 2014 19:17
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It's a good day when just the title has me in stitches.
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Jan 8, 2014 20:50
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Adopted Child Sick Of Gay Parents Forcing Him To Watch Them Have Sex This will be on Literally Unbelievable within minutes
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Jan 9, 2014 19:12
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Kuvo posted:Adopted Child Sick Of Gay Parents Forcing Him To Watch Them Have Sex I really hope it gets picked up by some backwater politician or talk show host. 
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Jan 9, 2014 20:26
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Why are ex-football players committing suicide? The NFL's answer will surprise you
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Jan 10, 2014 00:03
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English Professor Suddenly Realizes Students Will Believe Literally Everything She Says cinema_discusso.txt
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Jan 10, 2014 03:38
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Voters Shocked Christie Botched Such An Easy Political Cover-Up
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Jan 10, 2014 04:11
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Pick posted:It's a good day when just the title has me in stitches. The title's funny, sure, but then you look at the picture and you're all, "Oh. Oooooh.  "That one little box will last him the rest of the life, which, judging by the headline, won't last much longer.
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Jan 10, 2014 23:08
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Phelddagrif posted:The title's funny, sure, but then you look at the picture and you're all, "Oh. Oooooh.
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Jan 10, 2014 23:11
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf6hc45AcXg I hope they never stop savaging the NFL. 
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Jan 10, 2014 23:17
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Zugzwang posted:Welllll it's ambiguous. Your interpretation is valid, especially given The Onion's recent level of dark humor. It could also imply that he will hardly ever have sex again. Or, he's about to meet the girl of his dreams, and, after using the condoms once or twice in the whirlwind beginning stages, they will embark on a lifelong, committed relationship full of love and trust and therefore will no longer need to use condoms; his soulmate's birth control pills are fine until they decide to start a family. v  v
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Jan 10, 2014 23:26
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He makes a noose out of them and hangs himself.
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Jan 10, 2014 23:28
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So I'm reading today's article: http://www.theonion.com/articles/vacationing-man-excited-to-try-fast-food-franchise,34916/ and I think to myself, "OK I know I've seen that guy in an article before." On a whim I Google the guys name, and I am blown away by the fact that he has apparently been a central character in an epic, on-going series: http://www.theonion.com/channels/turnbee/ What a life this guy has!
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Jan 11, 2014 02:47
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Bucswabe posted:So I'm reading today's article: http://www.theonion.com/articles/vacationing-man-excited-to-try-fast-food-franchise,34916/ and I think to myself, "OK I know I've seen that guy in an article before." I was just coming to post how excited I was to see Turnbee back. I love how the Onion has these little ongoing story arcs tucked away in there. Oof, I tell ya.
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Jan 11, 2014 11:20
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Well, I know what I'm doing next time I go on a date 
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Jan 11, 2014 12:32
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Robert Denby posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf6hc45AcXg
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Jan 12, 2014 13:37
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Wait, What If We Try Giving People Home Loans They Can’t Actually Afford To Pay Off?
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Jan 13, 2014 20:13
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