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LogisticEarth posted:Huh? I'm not sure I understand why it couldn't be done via FedEx or something? We live 3 (large) states away from each other and to get me on his military stuff we both have to be there since I need to get issued an ID card and whatnot. Things we can't do through the mail and were hoping to get rolling the week of the wedding while we were still together in the same state with a military base nearby. Edit for clarity: we're not going to be living in the same state until six months post marriage for a variety of reasons. We'd wait to file name change and dependent paperwork till I move up there, but he is insistent to give me power of attorney and get me on his benefits before he deploys. Problem! fucked around with this message at 02:12 on Jan 6, 2014 |
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Jan 6, 2014 02:06
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It depends on your state too. Ours had two halves, one for filing and one for keeping. Most places took a look at my half and then copied it for their records when I went to change my name. We never had to go back to the courthouse after the wedding. Look on your county court's website. They usually have an FAQ related to name changes.
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Jan 6, 2014 02:56
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:Well that's annoying. I was hoping to get some of the paperwork that required both of us present filed the week after the wedding before we both flew back to our respective states, but I guess that's not happening. Now one of us has to drop a couple hundred on airfare to get paperwork filed. The clerk of court's office should mail you however many copies you want. I think our's cost $5 per copy. There's no need to fly back for it. Just call the office to find out the details. I only needed an original for one or two things (Social Security card and passport was it, I believe). Surprisingly (and maybe a bit worryingly), everywhere else just took my word for it- DMV, banks, etc, just took my word that it was already done with the SS office. Name changing is not as much trouble as a lot of websites make it out to be.
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Jan 6, 2014 02:57
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uraninjs posted:The clerk of court's office should mail you however many copies you want. I think our's cost $5 per copy. There's no need to fly back for it. Just call the office to find out the details. I know they can ship it, that's not the problem. The problem is I live in Texas, he lives in Nebraska, and the paperwork is being filed in Virginia. There is paperwork we need to fill out in person together at a military base that we need the marriage certificate for, and we were hoping we could do it while we were still both in Virginia in the days following the wedding. Since the certificate won't be available while we're still both in Virginia I either need to fly to Nebraska or he needs to fly to Texas to do it. It's just a major pain in the rear end and I was hoping we could avoid it by getting the certificate instantaneously. I'm going to call the court and ask if there's a way to expedite and he's going to see if there's a way we can do it remotely, but I'm anticipating them giving us a 15 step list that requires going to a notary and the post office at least 10 different times like they did when we couldn't both appear at the courthouse for the license at the same time.
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Jan 6, 2014 05:06
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So it's time I started looking for a dress. I'm pretty particular about what I want, but I haven't seen anything like it so far in my city. Anyone know where I might be able to find a dress similar to these ones?    The wedding will be outdoors in July at a farm, so I want something short and not too white. I'm a big fan of lacey, vintage styles. If I can't find anything online, I might have to wait until spring and get a similar kind of dress from a regular clothing store. I have one that doesn't have a poofy skirt, but I don't want it as my wedding dress because it was only $30, and I'd like to spend a little bit more than that on my wedding dress.
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Jan 6, 2014 06:13
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Nessa posted:So it's time I started looking for a dress. I'm pretty particular about what I want, but I haven't seen anything like it so far in my city. Not at an exact match, but have you looked at Dolly Couture? Particularly this one or this one. It looks like they do a lot of custom work as well if you want details changed.
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Jan 6, 2014 06:18
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Pinky Artichoke posted:Not at an exact match, but have you looked at Dolly Couture? Particularly this one or this one. It looks like they do a lot of custom work as well if you want details changed. While those are quite pretty, they're more than I'm willing to spend. I don't know what's normal, but I'm hoping to spend no more than $500 on a dress, hopefully closer to $300.
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Jan 6, 2014 06:45
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You might be able to find a local seamstress who could make you a custom dress <$500. Or modify a "regular" dress for you (by adding crinoline).
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Jan 6, 2014 07:09
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:I'm going to call the court and ask if there's a way to expedite and he's going to see if there's a way we can do it remotely, but I'm anticipating them giving us a 15 step list that requires going to a notary and the post office at least 10 different times like they did when we couldn't both appear at the courthouse for the license at the same time. In Washington state you both only have to be present for the signing go the license application and the license itself, either party can file it. I took our license to the courthouse the Monday following the ceremony, filed it and got certified copies made at the same time. Then I went to the social security office (a special sort of hell) and the DMV after that. I had 5 copies made but since I have done everything in person I could have gotten away with one. I have my new license and social security card already and it has only been 2 weeks since I switched everything.
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Jan 6, 2014 07:12
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For the curious, through my rhodizite research I found some really cool qualities of it and that it can make a beautiful cut gemstone, but I found that however cool it is, they aren't kidding when they call it rare. I haven't actually found a seller of transparent gems large enough for a central setting (Google has failed connecting me to a seller that isn't asking hefty prices because it's a master healer stone and connects you to African shaman's brains). To top it off, possibly because of the cesium in it, it is "barely perceptible" radioactive. So though we get radiation from plenty of sources in our surroundings, it's probably a safe idea to not put that near a finger forever. But I could be wrong in that being a problem. This has been a slightly disappointing end to a gleeful search.
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Jan 6, 2014 13:29
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:I know they can ship it, that's not the problem. The problem is I live in Texas, he lives in Nebraska, and the paperwork is being filed in Virginia. There is paperwork we need to fill out in person together at a military base that we need the marriage certificate for, and we were hoping we could do it while we were still both in Virginia in the days following the wedding. Since the certificate won't be available while we're still both in Virginia I either need to fly to Nebraska or he needs to fly to Texas to do it. It's just a major pain in the rear end and I was hoping we could avoid it by getting the certificate instantaneously. I would also check with your military base to be absolutely sure what you need. You may be able to just go get the form notarized after it's signed and use that and then file it afterward.
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Jan 6, 2014 14:49
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Professional wedding shots arrived today finally! We got a USB stick of what the photographers decided were the best shots, with the option of contacting them for any higher res versions for big big prints if need be for no extra charge. They're somewhat cheesy, but we're pretty silly people in general  Here are a handful of highlights: Dad walking me down the 'aisle', a leafy green park right out front of the highschool I went to in town I first lived in when I emigrated to Australia.   Shots of the gazebo decked out in the decorations we took a year to hand make - fabric bunting of all colours, there's a waterfall of rainbow coloured cranes hanging from the center of the roof, balloons. Readings and vows read/said in the gazebo with our celebrant there. We handwrote our vows, so I might have them framed to remind ourselves of those hopes and promises in the years to come.   The handfasting - one by one all our guests came up to individually wrap/tie something around our wrists and arms to symbolize the coming together of friends and family. Our handfasting 'knot' evolved very organically, and some of our family and friends brought very deep and meaningful things to use - Chris' mother used the ribbon from her international gold medal for hockey, one lady used ribbons from presents her kids got at their first birthday, one dude used his favourite old pair of earbuds, Chris' best friend used a strip from a t-shirt they screenprinted together at university, etc. We managed to slip our hands out of this ball of stuff and put the whole lot in a bag...we might frame the whole thing under glass for posterity or else separate it out and frame it like a specimen set from a natural history museum complete with typewritten labels, I haven't decided yet We didn't do a ring exchange since we were already wearing our 'marriage rings'. Our celebrant happened to notice a ladybug landing on her arm, and she placed it on our handfasting knot-ball for luck  We hired a fairy floss machine for the park activities, and served homemade turkey and cucumber sandwiches. At the house we had a catered self-serve buffet with people on hand to make pancakes to order (the food service was impeccable and the food was delicious, for AU$20/head no less thanks to family connections). Lucked out hardcore there.  Strolling through the park after. There are a ton more pictures, but those are probably some of the more colourful and personify the spirit of the ceremony and the aim of the day best I think! Still hard to believe we've been married a month and a week now. It's the best.
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Jan 7, 2014 14:54
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nyerf posted:Still hard to believe we've been married a month and a week now. It's the best. I love everything about these pictures, they're so colorful and vibrant! But I wanted to say I especially love your hair. Looks like it was a beautiful wedding.
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Jan 7, 2014 15:08
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FogHelmut posted:I just paid $200 for a rental tux to be in a friend's wedding. I'm thinking a reasonable (non-tux) ensemble can be had for my wedding where you actually get to own the thing you buy for that much or less. Any ideas where to start looking? Just to add our two cents, my husband got this Calvin Klein tux from Macy's: http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/calvin-klein-suit-black-solid-tuxedo-slim-fit?ID=880144 I think it cost around $220-$250, and having it tailored was about $50. It looks REALLY good and I would definitely recommend this tux if it's still for sale anywhere. The fabric is great quality and it's very modern.
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Jan 7, 2014 20:06
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nyerf posted:Still hard to believe we've been married a month and a week now. It's the best. Really beautiful  The handfasting is a fun idea that somehow I haven't heard of before. I would love to do something like that, but we'll have a chunk of professional-related guests at our wedding. I wonder if it would be weird to have my boss tie a shoelace or something around our hands...
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Jan 9, 2014 20:05
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matureaudiencesonly posted:Really beautiful
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Jan 9, 2014 21:54
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There was an NPR special* a while ago that talked about an excerpt from a decision (I think it was Loving v Virginia but it may have been Hollingsworth v Perry) that has become commonly used in wedding vows. It was beautiful but my google fu is weak right now and I can't find it. Anyone have any ideas? *I think it was Fresh Air! But it may have been Tell Me More!
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Jan 10, 2014 00:06
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I can't find an NPR thing, but was it maybe from Goodridge v. Department of Public Health? This section came up a lot when I was looking for ideas for readings.quote:Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. "It is an association that promotes a way of life, not causes; a harmony in living, not political faiths; a bilateral loyalty, not commercial or social projects." Griswold v. Connecticut, 381 U.S. 479, 486 (1965). Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition. edit: I lied. Here is an NPR thing. http://hereandnow.wbur.org/2013/03/18/gay-marriage-opinion Phi Fi Fo Fum fucked around with this message at 00:53 on Jan 10, 2014 |
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Jan 10, 2014 00:47
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That is it! Thank you!
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Jan 10, 2014 01:05
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Recently married goons: are there any things that were "oh poo poo we forgot to do that" moments in the last week or two leading up to your weddings? We're just about two weeks out, and nothing catastrophic has gone wrong so far. This worries me slightly. Although maybe since we've had so many legitimately catastrophic things already happen (being forced to change the date four times comes to mind) that things going wrong now like a groomsman dropping out yesterday and my dress needing a poo poo ton of alterations at my final fitting seem absolutely inconsequential.
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Jan 10, 2014 01:12
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Nessa posted:While those are quite pretty, they're more than I'm willing to spend. I don't know what's normal, but I'm hoping to spend no more than $500 on a dress, hopefully closer to $300. Speaking of which, did you ever get your engagement ring finished?
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Jan 10, 2014 04:01
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:Recently married goons: are there any things that were "oh poo poo we forgot to do that" moments in the last week or two leading up to your weddings? The day before the wedding, I realized that my plan to queue the processional myself wasn't gonna work. Luckily, one of my friends brought his date to the rehearsal dinner and so I was able to surprise them with a job.
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Jan 10, 2014 04:01
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So, I need some advice on a scale from "crazy" to "awesome" how do you rank mass marriages? Like, instead of me and my fiancee joining together anyone who is married or would like to be married is free to stand and join us as we say our vows. I think it is a beautiful expression of socialist values. She loves me and is willing to go along with it, particularly in exchange for me allowing Jesus and his father to attend the wedding in a rather spectacular fashion. That way both of our values are represented. As an audience member, we'd both love that sort of thing. But . . . we aren't most people, so I figured I'd take a quick informal poll. How do you feel about mass marriages and how awesome would it be to be a part of one?
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Jan 10, 2014 10:52
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Shbobdb posted:So, I need some advice on a scale from "crazy" to "awesome" how do you rank mass marriages? Like, instead of me and my fiancee joining together anyone who is married or would like to be married is free to stand and join us as we say our vows. I think it is a beautiful expression of socialist values. She loves me and is willing to go along with it, particularly in exchange for me allowing Jesus and his father to attend the wedding in a rather spectacular fashion. That way both of our values are represented. I might be misinterpreting this, but it sounds really depressing for a single person to attend.
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Jan 10, 2014 18:37
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It sounds a little suicide cult-y to me.
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Jan 10, 2014 18:45
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Yeah, that's a little weird and would probably throw everyone off. Also, I'm failing to see how it's an expression of socialist values. 
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Jan 10, 2014 21:07
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That would put some uncomfortable awkward pressure on couples attending who aren't married or married couples who are going through a rough patch, and it would make your single friends feel excluded and would probably make them feel extra super lovely if they're divorced/recently single. If you want to include other married couples, find some other way to do it outside of your actual vows.
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Jan 10, 2014 22:22
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I think the mass marriage thing is a weird idea and wouldn't have it at my own wedding or participate in it if I attended a wedding that had one. I would, however, really love to know how it's an "expression of socialist values." Does it symbolize everybody marrying everyone else or something? I'm not trying to be mean, but it just seems really poorly thought out to me and I'm having trouble fully understanding the motivation behind wanting to do something like that.
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Jan 10, 2014 23:04
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I was pretty out of it when I wrote that. I'm not really sure what I was thinking, but I wouldn't like to meet me when I'm thinking like that.
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Jan 11, 2014 00:51
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My fiance and I booked our venue on December 30th and put down a deposit. We set the date for August this year, and it's starting to hit me that our wedding is not really that far away. I've also made an appointment to go dress shopping next week since I decided on a style of wedding dress that appeals to me, and I'm going to a bridal expo with a few people later this month for some ideas. This is freaking me out a little! I guess having the venue nailed down is half the battle, but it's still kind of a huge thing that I've never done before. Before I got engaged, I'd never even thought about what I might want for a wedding. I'm really grateful my future mother-in-law is a retired conference coordinator, because she's been a huge help so far. She really helped us with our guest list, which is almost finalized. I guess what I'm trying to say is, this is all new and sort of intimidating. I'm not stressed out, just kind of overwhelmed with all the things we'll have to take care of! How did some of you manage to overcome this feeling, if at all?  Of course I'm really happy to be marrying my soulmate, but there's so much stuff to think about! I guess that's what all the wonderful resources in the OP are for, right? I'd better get myself a checklist! I'd also like to have opinions on inviting online friends to the wedding. I've been part of a very close-knit online community from about 2001 onward. I've known these people for over a decade and love them dearly. I've met most of them in person and we had a great time in each instance. I consider some of them as close as siblings, and we often send each other boxes of gifts and fun stuff. My side of the family is much smaller than my fiance's, so I was toying with the idea of inviting a small handful of my online pals to the wedding. They're colorful people and loads of fun, and my fiance says he's fine with it as long as I invite ones I've already met face to face. I'm not sure if it's really weird to do this or not. I wouldn't expect them to throw down money to travel to attend the wedding - it's more like I want to invite them because they're important to me, but that invitation carries no expectations. If they can come, awesome, but if they can't because of financial restrictions or health or anything, then I wouldn't be upset and the invitation is a gesture of "You're important enough to me that I wanted to at least invite you." On the other side of the coin, a lot of the resources I've been looking at say that you should only invite people you see often and are really close to, will still be close to in several years, etc. It's true I don't see my online friends in person much, but we talk often. Even if I don't see them again for ten years, I would feel like their presence at the wedding made it a party. I haven't formally invited anyone yet because I want to think really carefully about it before I do anything. I would welcome any input on this!
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Jan 11, 2014 05:24
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Make an Excel workbook. I have one that is constantly open on my computer since I've been in the home stretch. It's got a shitload of different sheets on it: to-do items organized by category with due date, the guest list (with sort functions so I can easily sort it by name, side, and RSVP response and a separate table that keeps a running tally of accepts and declines), the guest list written out exactly as it should be on the invitations (inner/outer envelope wording), budget, money actually spent, vendors, room assignments (our venue is a B&B that included rooms as the package), table chart, week-of schedules, and a list of who gave us what for presents and if I've written a thank you card yet or not. I converted mine to a Numbers file and saved it on the Cloud so I can get to it on my laptop, iPhone and iPad which is super handy at vendor meetings. Much more convenient just to bring along a tablet than a whole laptop when going over stuff. If anybody has a question about anything related to the wedding, the answer can be found in The Spreadsheet. On my phone I have a list titled "wedding poo poo" where if something pops into my mind that I need to do while I'm at work or something I'll add it to the list so I don't forget it. I also have a running packing list for when I fly out to the wedding and a list of stuff we need to remember to bring to the venue the day before to set up (this doesn't apply to you yet-- but it will). My wedding poo poo list is down to just five things at this point, most of which I'm hoping to get knocked out this weekend. I also put all the payment due dates in my calendar so I don't forget any. I also have a giant binder where I keep all my proposals and contracts and other paperwork in those sheet protector things (get a 2" binder AT LEAST, mine's exploded on me a few times). Since I have hard and/or electronic copies of everything and anything, it takes away a lot of the "did I forget something?!" stress. It also kills a lot of arguments that arise if you write it down as soon as it's decided, for instance my parents started a huge fight over who was staying in the B&B rooms but I had the list we'd agreed upon months previously written down in The Spreadsheet and it's pretty hard to argue with that since it eliminates the "he said/she said" fights. I went to one wedding expo and it was helpful although I think I probably wouldn't have lost anything by not going. The only thing I got out of it was my photographer, I may not have come across her if I hadn't gone. None of my other vendors I ended up hiring were even present at that expo. Don't go in with the mindset that you need to pick all your vendors that day, go around and collect business cards/brochures from EVERYONE then sit down when you get home and research the ones you liked online for reviews on TheKnot and WeddingWire then cross check it with your venue's recommended vendors list to narrow it down and since you're getting married in 2014 a good portion of them will probably be booked already (all of my vendors are nearly booked solid for 2014 already and are booking 2015) so that'll narrow it down farther. Your venue will probably have an unofficial not recommended vendors list, ask for that too. Once you hire a photographer, they will have an extensive recommended and not recommended list since they've seen it all. I hate to say it, but Pinterest is good for ideas. As long as you use it as inspiration, and not a planning tool. Or you'll end up with a mason jar laden "I'm so country! Even though I've never seen a farm animal in my life and live in the city! I'm having a country wedding wearing my cowboy boots that have never been within a mile of a cow!" wedding complete with twine and wildflowers and chalkboard signs and bridesmaids in knee length yellow dresses, also with cowboy boots that have never been near a cow  (full disclosure: totally jacked my centerpieces from Pinterest and have been obsessively checking it to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with my hair)As for guest list: it's your wedding so invite whoever you want. Don't let the 8 trillion wedding etiquette websites prevent you from doing something you want to do. My one bit of advice is don't fill your venue to capacity on your first guest list go-round, there will always be people you're going to be "oh poo poo I forgot about them" or you'll send out your save the dates then someone sees someone else's and will be "hey where's mine?" then you'll send out the invites and people will want to bring dates, etc. Also if your families are the type to invite everyone that's even sort of related to you and all their friends, tell them your venue's seating capacity is smaller than it actually is 
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Jan 11, 2014 06:09
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Aquatic Giraffe, thank you so much for the extremely helpful post! There are so many brilliant ideas in it and I really appreciate it a lot. Thank you! I feel a little weird about going to a Bridal Expo, I'll admit, and I'm not sure I'll get anything extremely worthwhile out of it, but I guess I still want to go for the experience, since this is hopefully my first and only wedding. I'm glad you mentioned that you found your photographer at an expo, because I have absolutely no idea about photographers in my area and I have yet to hear from married friends I've asked.The only things besides photography that are really big on our list right now are wedding bands, cake, and maybe flowers. We're doing our ceremony and reception at the venue, and they take care of the room reset, food, and alcohol. One of the reasons we chose it was because it seemed easier to go with a place that provided all those things right off the bat. Our wedding is going to be small and fairly low key, so we're not going to go crazy with decorations and things like that. I guess we do want to have a dance, but I'm not sure a DJ is hard to find if we need one. I might look into hiring a hair and makeup artist for the wedding day, just because it would be easier than running back and forth between salons and stuff, but I haven't researched that yet either. I guess I've just given myself some things to do! :p Aquatic Giraffe posted:I hate to say it, but Pinterest is good for ideas. As long as you use it as inspiration, and not a planning tool. Or you'll end up with a mason jar laden "I'm so country! Even though I've never seen a farm animal in my life and live in the city! I'm having a country wedding wearing my cowboy boots that have never been within a mile of a cow!" wedding complete with twine and wildflowers and chalkboard signs and bridesmaids in knee length yellow dresses, also with cowboy boots that have never been near a cow This was hilarious. I live in Alberta, the redneck province, so I am hoping beyond all hope to avoid a cowboy wedding.  I did start a Pinterest board just to keep track of some ideas, and it's mostly been hairstyles too! I've got short hair, so I'm just scoping out the different ways that I might pull it off. I have my heart set on a vintage-style dress (and without even hearing about that, everyone I know has said, "You know, I think vintage-style would suit you!"), so I'd like to see if I can find a cute fascinator with a veil to wear in my hair. I'm sure Etsy has lots of things like that, or I could have one made. Thankfully, our venue can hold up to 200 people and we've got less than 100 on our list right now, so even if we have to sneak in a few more, we'll be just fine. Thank you again so much for all your planning ideas! That's going to help me a ton. E: I forgot to mention that we just booked our honeymoon trip last night! Yay!  I'm really excited!
Alligator Pie fucked around with this message at 21:49 on Jan 11, 2014 |
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Jan 11, 2014 21:34
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The fiancee and I are in the early stages of planning. He is pretty go with the flow and will let me do whatever. However, the thing we cannot agree on is the honeymoon. My idea of a honeymoon is a warm sunny beach in a tropical place. His is backpacking through Yosemite national park for 2 weeks. Where have you and your significant other decided to go? And about how much do you expect to spend?
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Jan 11, 2014 23:32
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My fiance is pretty much the same; he's really easygoing, but will let me know if he disagrees with something. That's made planning really easy so far. The destination decision is a bit of a story, so please bear with me! Our dream honeymoon is Japan (  ), so we'd planned to have a short mini-honeymoon after our wedding and then go to Japan in the spring of 2015.Initially, the mini-honeymoon consisted of taking a week off, driving out to Jasper up in the Rocky Mountains, and staying at their fanciest hotel for a few days as a little mountain getaway. After thinking about it, though, I decided it wasn't really as exciting a honeymoon as I'd like. After all, I've been living in Alberta most of my life, and we've already been to Jasper a zillion times. Then I remembered that my Dad and his family go on cruises to Alaska every other summer and really enjoy it. My fiance and I went on our first cruise last year to celebrate my future mother-in-law's birthday, and we'd had a really good time, so it was something we had wanted to do again sometime. The idea of an Alaskan cruise really appealed to me because it's not really that far away, but it's still something new and fun we can do together. I ran the idea past my fiance, and he thought it was worth looking into. He is a very cautious person and very good with his money, so I know that when he is trying to talk me into booking the more expensive balcony room, he is serious and wants to go with it. Part of what helped us decide is that we only had to put down a $250 deposit to reserve our spot on the boat. We don't have to pay the rest until June 3rd, so we'll have some time to get ourselves together before then. As for cost, the total for both of us is $4100 with tax and insurance and all that good stuff. We'd wanted to leave from Vancouver, but all the cruises from there are one-way, so we had to choose a cruise that leaves from Seattle. As such, we're going to have to spend another $2000 or so for both of us for airfare. I guess that doesn't include whatever we may spend on shore excursions, alcohol, and extras, but we didn't incur too huge a bill the last time we cruised, so I think we'll be okay there. Ultimately, we decided it's our honeymoon and we wanted to spend the money to have a good time and go on a proper vacation to celebrate our marriage. It's not something we could normally afford on a whim like this, but my fiance's parents and grandmother offered us an early wedding gift to help cover our expenses for the ceremony, so we figure whatever's left can go towards the trip. Since we're splurging on Alaska, Japan will have to go on the back burner. We can always save up our vacation days and our money and go in a couple of years. As for your honeymoon plans, I think both of them sound wonderful! They are each appealing in their own way. Do you both have a dream vacation in mind, or are the two options you listed your individual ideas of dream vacations? No sign of a compromise in sight? I almost want to suggest going to Europe - then you can do beaches AND backpacking if you like!
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Jan 12, 2014 00:30
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We bought a house a week before the wedding and got married in the new house, so our honeymoon is a new house! We'll probably go on a trip in 6 months or a year but we haven't really decided where we want to go.
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Jan 12, 2014 00:49
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Cheese Pain posted:I might look into hiring a hair and makeup artist for the wedding day, just because it would be easier than running back and forth between salons and stuff, but I haven't researched that yet either. I guess I've just given myself some things to do! :p I found a salon less than a mile away from our venue that does wedding packages, so my bridesmaids, my mom and myself are all getting our hair and makeup done together the morning of. I was going to hire them to come to the venue, but I figured their salon would have better lighting and all the supplies they could possibly need so we're going to them instead. For your cake, ask your caterer/your venue's food person if they recommend anyone. The caterer and cake people have to work together to cut and serve the cake, so getting a caterer/cake combo that have worked together before and like each other helps tremendously. Honeymoon chat: Due to both of our limited amounts of leave from our jobs, a honeymoon immediately afterwards is completely out of the question. What we're doing is a little two-day trip to our college town with a couple close friends (it's sort of turned into a pilgrimage for all of our close college friends) just to get away from our families, then later (probably over the summer or next year) we're going to go to Germany. We initially thought about a traditional somewhere warm and sunny honeymoon, but both of us are super pasty white and burn easily so the odds of us both being miserable with sunburns two days in to the trip were too high for us to want to go somewhere tropical. So we're joining other pasty white people in northern Europe
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Jan 12, 2014 01:09
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FogHelmut posted:Then why are the stupid bridesmaid dresses only like $120? Because they are stupid bridesmaid dresses and a good suit can be worn for many many years?
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Jan 12, 2014 01:39
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I was ogling a bridesmaid dress on BHLDN (hello Pinterest) that was cheap and could totally work as a wedding dress, and the next day (yesterday) I got an email saying some dresses were on sale. Guess which one was included? So I bought a dress online without trying it on and this could be either really awesome or really terrible. At least they seem cool about exchanges/returns, especially since it's not a wedding gown, and my dress shipped today. I will know whether I was stupid in a few days. If it works, then I could also dye it afterward and wear it as a normal dress. This is an exciting prospect because I own no real formal dresses. I am discovering that it is hard to plan a wedding in a state that is a thousand miles away from where I live. Everyone wants me to come in and look at stuff. I also feel lame because I'm starting to do wedding planning stuff but legally I'm married already. Very few people know about it because it's kind of tacky and embarrassing and hardly romantic. We wanted to have a nice little wedding and have time to plan it but when I moved to be closer to him, I lost my insurance and was turned down by all the crappy local insurance plans. I didn't qualify for the state's poor people insurance program either. I have some chronic conditions that aren't life threatening but they make my life suck if I have no doctors. It was either get married or move back, so we got married at a courthouse. I thought this would make planning the real thing far less stressful since technically I did it already so who cares if something goes wrong or isn't perfect, but instead I feel like I need to compensate extra hard for the lack of romanticism involved in having a shotgun wedding over insurance in front of a judge with two witnesses that we'd only just met in the hallway. Aquatic Giraffe posted:various stuff about logistics and military stuff Hey, you should have him ask about this at work or try to get in touch with someone at the location where you're going to get married, because the "active duty military" aspect can be important. We showed up at a courthouse and discovered we were entitled to 3 free notarized copies because my husband is active duty. We went from the judge's little ceremony straight to another office to file the stuff ourselves and pick up the free copies that were made on the spot. Plus, I think most of the places where we either changed my name or updated our marital status gave us back the notarized copy we brought or accepted photocopies or were fine using the updated driver's license. Once you're married, you're automatically a dependent. If you have an ID, then you're in the system as a dependent. He will start getting extra housing allowance because of it. Waiting to change your name sounds like an expensive hassle. It is postponing and increasing the misery since it'll cost money. It'll also be a pain in the rear end to find the time to get in to get another ID with the new name, too.
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Jan 16, 2014 04:26
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samizdat posted:Hey, you should have him ask about this at work or try to get in touch with someone at the location where you're going to get married, because the "active duty military" aspect can be important. We showed up at a courthouse and discovered we were entitled to 3 free notarized copies because my husband is active duty. We went from the judge's little ceremony straight to another office to file the stuff ourselves and pick up the free copies that were made on the spot. Plus, I think most of the places where we either changed my name or updated our marital status gave us back the notarized copy we brought or accepted photocopies or were fine using the updated driver's license. You should've seen the list of steps they gave us when we asked if we could get the marriage license without both of us present because he's active duty military. It required going to a notary at least 5 separate times and me appearing in person at a courthouse 1000+ miles away from where I live twice. I'll see if we can weasel our way into free copies though, that sounds sweet. I think it depends on how assholish your county is. Ours is near the top of the list of counties run by complete assholes from everything from building permits to marriage licenses. I grew up military and we've talked about it extensively so I know how the dependent thing works. In order to get my ID I need him with me which is where the logistical stupidity comes in if we can't get our hands on our marriage certificate before he has to go back to his duty station. Worst case is I'll just take a day or two off work and go visit him after the wedding to do all this. "Why don't you get legally married in advance?" you will probably ask, it's because it's not worth the family drama that would explode as a result (getting married in a Catholic church which you cannot do if you are already legally married so if we got courthouse married we'd have to shift our ceremony venue which would be a dead giveaway something's up and oh god I don't want to deal with that).
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Jan 16, 2014 05:18
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:I found a salon less than a mile away from our venue that does wedding packages, so my bridesmaids, my mom and myself are all getting our hair and makeup done together the morning of. I was going to hire them to come to the venue, but I figured their salon would have better lighting and all the supplies they could possibly need so we're going to them instead. Today was wedding dress shopping day, so I stopped in at my regular hairdresser's place to get my hair done. Someone at my office suggested it because it gives you a better idea of how you would look as a bride, so I decided why not. She just learned about the engagement today when I saw her, since I only go to get haircuts every few months or so. She squealed that she can't wait to do my wedding hair for me, but I didn't have the heart to tell her I might consider other options if they're more convenient. There would be upsides to dealing with her, though, since I've been going to her for years and I'm sure she'd give me and my bridal party a good deal. In 2009, she opened her salon on a Sunday just for my cousin's wedding, so I'm sure she'd be just as nice to me. She also claims that one of her stylists is a great makeup artist, so we'll see. I had only been toying with the idea of hiring a hair and makeup artist because I thought portable would be nicer than rushing around to salons, but nothing is decided yet! Thank goodness I still have time to think all this over. I really appreciate the tip on asking the venue for good vendors! That never even occurred to me, so thank you. I think your honeymoon idea sounds lovely. A little trip to see good friends, then a trip when you have more time? Totally nice. I agree with you on the pasty white thing, too. I'm ghostly pale at best, and I would melt somewhere tropical unless it was winter there. My fiance, on the other hand, lived in Australia for a year when he was twelve and can probably handle any level of heat. It took him a while to adjust to hanging out with me in the summer, since I have to seek shade and rest if I get too hot. One of the reasons I'm so excited about the Alaska cruise is because we can have a great time and I don't have to fry! Dress Chat: I found THE ONE tonight!  I honestly didn't know what to expect, but it ended up being pretty clear which dress I needed to choose. I was really sad because my Mom got sick and couldn't attend the appointment I booked. I ended up going with just my Aunt, who is pretty much my second Mom. Don't get me wrong, it was just as special with her, but I was unhappy my own Mom couldn't be there. Still, I didn't actually expect to order the dress right away, it just sort of happened.Last week, I was browsing online to see if there was any particular style of dress that I liked. I found my way to David's Bridal somehow and out of all of the pages of dresses, only one stood out to me. I saw it and said, "That's it!" but the practical person in me wanted to go to a store and physically try it on. The skeptic in me told me that just because I loved it, it would probably end up looking crappy on me in person. I was very wrong, and I am so happy about it. It was the first dress I tried on, and the minute I walked out of the fitting room, my Aunt's eyes nearly popped out of her head. It was a WOW dress! I just love it, and a bunch of random other ladies in the store loved it too. I only tried on two other dresses before we all realiized it was just no contest and I'd found the dress I'd get married in. We ordered it immediately because it's currently on sale. I cannot believe how beautiful I felt in that dress. I really felt like a bride! It's been kind of weird because I know I'm getting married, but it never really felt real until I was standing in front of the mirror in one of the most beautiful dresses I've ever seen. Did anyone else feel this way? It arrives in twelve weeks. I am SO excited!  E: I also found the perfect little fascinator/veil hairclip to go with the dress. It's exactly what I wanted!
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Jan 16, 2014 05:33
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