Comics Like Montezuma's Revenge: The Worst Runs

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bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

The Question IRL posted:

In X-Men: The End he made Nightcrawler into an actor who stared in James Bond movies produced by Jubilee.
Nightcrawlers ultimate destiny was to become Timothy Dalton. I am 100% fine with that as a character arc for Kurt.

Haha that is great. Nightcrawler loved Errol Flynn and Timothy Dalton played Errol Fynn in The Rocketeer

# ? Jan 14, 2014 23:56

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# ? May 20, 2024 21:38

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

bobkatt013 posted:

Read X-men and New Mutant Forever, and your tune will change. See also X-men The End.

I have, still fine with this.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 00:02

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

DarkCrawler posted:

Well, Reed's douchebaggery in those two can be explained, he was doing it to snap Susan out of Malice's mind control... I think

# ? Jan 15, 2014 00:57

Codependent Poster: Oct 20, 2003

Say Nothing posted:

Well, Reed's douchebaggery in those two can be explained, he was doing it to snap Susan out of Malice's mind control... I think

"Reed! Thank you for being a giant dick to me! It's exactly what I needed to break free of the mind-control!"

"... uh, sure Sue. You're welcome. Why... That was my plan all along!"

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:01

Yvonmukluk: Oct 10, 2012; Everything is Sinister

DarkCrawler posted:

Franklin Richards is a disturbed individual.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:08

Wanderer: Nov 5, 2006; our every move is the new tradition

Ghostpilot posted:

This came along in the mid-late 90's, after he became somber, self-loathing and . Because early on and for a good while, he had plush dolls (Bamf dolls) of himself that he'd give out.

You know, to this day, I would pay good money for a Bamf doll.

Say Nothing posted:

Well, Reed's douchebaggery in those two can be explained, he was doing it to snap Susan out of Malice's mind control... I think

Yeah, I remember that issue. Hate-Monger was tapping into some doubts Sue had about the entire FF thing and used it to turn her into Malice, who was better at using the force field offensively than Sue ever was.

When they figured it out, Reed decided the best way to snap Sue out of it was to get her even angrier so eventually she'd break the conditioning and come out the other side. It was part of Byrne setting it up so Sue would ditch the Invisible Girl moniker and use Invisible Woman instead, and is kind of the start of the gradual evolution Sue went through in the '80s that turned her into the FF member you least want to gently caress with.

Wanderer fucked around with this message at 01:22 on Jan 15, 2014

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:18

E the Shaggy: Mar 29, 2010

Chris Claremont's first arc of Nightcrawler will be Kurt being kidnapped by sex pirates.

"Yar! Put Mr. Wagner in his own slave outfit to show him what for!"
"My name is Kurt Wagner. I'm an X-Man. I was born to the supervillain known as Mystique and have the ability to teleport within range of anything I can see. I was dead for a little while after having been impaled by Nimrod. It was only when I was saved from death by my fellow X-Men that I find myself in the situation I'm in now. None of that matters though, I can feel the pirates' mind control begin to take effect!"

All in one panel.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:41

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Wanderer posted:

You know, to this day, I would pay good money for a Bamf doll.

Yeah, I remember that issue. Hate-Monger was tapping into some doubts Sue had about the entire FF thing and used it to turn her into Malice, who was better at using the force field offensively than Sue ever was.

When they figured it out, Reed decided the best way to snap Sue out of it was to get her even angrier so eventually she'd break the conditioning and come out the other side. It was part of Byrne setting it up so Sue would ditch the Invisible Girl moniker and use Invisible Woman instead, and is kind of the start of the gradual evolution Sue went through in the '80s that turned her into the FF member you least want to gently caress with.

I wonder how todays' badass Sue would react to 60s dishrag Sue?

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:04

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

E the Shaggy posted:

All in one panel.

Sage is in the background of that panel.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:20

Gaz-L: Jan 28, 2009

Jerusalem posted:

Sage is in the background of that panel.

Background? How can he be forced to kiss her boot under mind control if she's in the background?

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:47

McSpanky: Jan 16, 2005

Wanderer posted:

You know, to this day, I would pay good money for a Bamf doll.

Yeah, I remember that issue. Hate-Monger was tapping into some doubts Sue had about the entire FF thing and used it to turn her into Malice, who was better at using the force field offensively than Sue ever was.

When they figured it out, Reed decided the best way to snap Sue out of it was to get her even angrier so eventually she'd break the conditioning and come out the other side. It was part of Byrne setting it up so Sue would ditch the Invisible Girl moniker and use Invisible Woman instead, and is kind of the start of the gradual evolution Sue went through in the '80s that turned her into the FF member you least want to gently caress with.

The 90s FF cartoon adapted this into an episode. Domestic-abuse-for-your-own-good Reed on Saturday morning TV was... well, it was something special, let me tell you.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 03:20

PupsOfWar: Dec 6, 2013

Say Nothing posted:

I wonder how todays' badass Sue would react to 60s dishrag Sue?

sounds like it's time for All New Fantastic Four

# ? Jan 15, 2014 04:09

E the Shaggy: Mar 29, 2010

Jerusalem posted:

Sage is in the background of that panel.

"I'm the best there is at what I do, and what I do is EVERYTHING EVER!"
-Sage

# ? Jan 15, 2014 04:32

IUG: Jul 14, 2007

E the Shaggy posted:

"I'm the best there is at what I do, and what I do is EVERYTHING EVER!"
-Sage

I remember back when I was reading one of those Chronological projects on my own, and when I got up to her. I had to look her up on a Wiki as I was reading the issues as I just didn't know who the hell she was. She had no defined backstory and seemed to come out of nowhere. Not knowing the behind-the-scenes on who wrote her or why, it just left me utterly confused who this person was, what she did, or why she was there.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 06:01

Suben: Jul 1, 2007; In 1985 Dr. Strange makes a rap album.

Remember how Claremont jumped on Exiles and the first thing he did was bring in Sage, Psylocke, versions of Rogue, Kitty, and Mystique and then had I believe multiple arcs about some version of an evil Sue Richards (or maybe it was just the one and my brain is stretching it out) and it was so bad that it's forever ruined the Exiles name?

Of course I think it had kind of been going there anyway with World Tour being boring. A big part of the fun of Exiles, IMO, was that it would do worlds that you wouldn't expect (say a world taken over by the Transmode Virus where Mary Jane is one of the premiere heroes) using alternate versions of generally lesser/more obscure X-Men characters (a powered version of Mariko Yashida, alternate versions of Changeling, Mimic, Thunderbird, etc.). The World Tour kind of changed it to basically visiting a bunch of places we've already seen plenty of times and then adding a character from them which took away part of the appeal of the book. Pre-World Tour it felt like there were basically endless possibilities for worlds and characters and that seemed to leave during/after it.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 07:03

Shirkelton: Apr 6, 2009; I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.

I really want a full-on, no bullshit Exiles reboot.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 07:07

Suben: Jul 1, 2007; In 1985 Dr. Strange makes a rap album.

Dan Didio posted:

I really want a full-on, no bullshit Exiles reboot.

I really hate the "comic books as TV seasons" thing Marvel is doing but I think if any book would benefit from that approach it'd be Exiles. You could easy have year long or year and a half long "seasons" with a specific creative team focusing on a specific team and their mission and once that ends, give it a few months, start it back up with a new creative team and new team of characters with a different mission, etc. Take the American Horror Story approach to seasons/volumes and it could work I think.

Just make it a place for creators to do whatever with alternate universes and takes on characters. Have a team with a version of Havok raised by Corsair in a universe that's basically a cosmic swashbuckling film. Or, to drag out an obscure character, have a version of Network from a more upbeat world where the Avengers and X-Men are treated with similar respect and she's Tony Stark's quirky technopath protege. Have fun stories, gloomy ones, whatever. Let creators go nuts with the concept kind of like what Savage Wolverine is doing for artists and it'd work.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 07:25

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Dan Didio posted:

I really want a full-on, no bullshit Exiles reboot.

I haven't read it, but based on what I've read about it, it's probably the easiest thing in the world to do without dealing with current continuity. Grab whichever character you want, the rest of the team are slightly weird versions of other characters, and then steal plots from poo poo-canned "What-If" books.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 07:27

Lurdiak: Feb 26, 2006; I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.

Exiles would be a really good home for an alternate version of Spock that never gets de-octopus'd. He could be the de facto terrible leader and everything while the teenagers completely ignore him and call him a dork. It writes itself, really.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 10:44

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

E the Shaggy posted:

"I'm the best there is at what I do, and what I do is EVERYTHING EVER!"
-Sage

Here's another mostly terrible run: X-Treme X-Men by Chris Claremont.

Started okay, had some interesting ideas, but then it collapsed under the weight of its own mysteries and subplots. Salvador Larroca left the book and Claremont devoted an entire story arc to Storm getting caught by fiendish transvestites who run a mutant gladiator/sex slave racket in South East Asia, where Callisto has been modified with tentacle rape arms, and the villain's henchmen wear gimp suits and have BDSM as their mutant power.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 11:29

Elfface: Nov 14, 2010; Da-na-na-na-na-na-na
IRON JONAH

Are you sure that's a mutant power, and not just the return of Leatherboy?

# ? Jan 15, 2014 11:38

Mr. Maltose: Feb 16, 2011; The Guffless Girlverine

Dan Didio posted:

I really want a full-on, no bullshit Exiles reboot.

We had X-treme X-men, which only lasted for, what, 10 amazing issues? It had the best alternate Wolverine and a cool Nightcrawler.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 12:09

Parahexavoctal: Oct 10, 2004; I AM NOT BEING PAID TO CORRECT OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTS! DONKEY!!

TwoPair posted:

for what it's worth, I'm pretty sure Hank McCoy's been pretty over his appearance as a blue furry man-thing for a while now.

Incidentally, did any writer ever explain why McCoy doesn't just... shave?

# ? Jan 15, 2014 14:39

prefect: Sep 11, 2001; No one, Woodhouse.
No one.; Dead Man’s Band

Parahexavoctal posted:

Incidentally, did any writer ever explain why McCoy doesn't just... shave?

His whole body? :eyepop:

Although he is pretty flexible...

On second thought, Hank's blue, furry form has also included some physical changes, hasn't it? He's not just a furry guy; he's more beastlike.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 14:58

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

Yes, he was definitely not just a dude with blue fur and hair.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 18:05

Parahexavoctal: Oct 10, 2004; I AM NOT BEING PAID TO CORRECT OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTS! DONKEY!!

prefect posted:

On second thought, Hank's blue, furry form has also included some physical changes, hasn't it? He's not just a furry guy; he's more beastlike.

Post-Morrison, yes; that's a "secondary mutation". But for decades he was just a guy with blue hair all over his body, extremely large hands and feet, and superhuman strength and physical skills. (Also I think his canine teeth were maybe a little pointier than they should have been. His ears were portrayed as pointy, but that could have just been more fur.)

With shaving: "He's a mutant! His hands and feet are very big, and he's as strong and fast and dextrous and flexible as an Olympic athlete!"

Without shaving: "He's a furry blue monster!"

Complete change of subject:

for those of you who hated Englehart's run on FF, you need to see the run he disavowed (credited to 'John Harkness').

# ? Jan 15, 2014 18:15

Zamboni Apocalypse: Dec 29, 2009

Ghostpilot posted:

Is anyone other than myself assuming that the plushie Nightcrawler is placed there because he's let Lil' Blue out for some fresh air? ( :nws:

link for example)

# ? Jan 15, 2014 18:17

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Parahexavoctal posted:

for those of you who hated Englehart's run on FF, you need to see the run he disavowed (credited to 'John Harkness').

Is that the one where he wrote himself into his last issue and said, "It'll take a better writer than me to sort this mess out!"

# ? Jan 15, 2014 18:36

Parahexavoctal: Oct 10, 2004; I AM NOT BEING PAID TO CORRECT OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTS! DONKEY!!

Metal Loaf posted:

Is that the one where he wrote himself into his last issue and said, "It'll take a better writer than me to sort this mess out!"

Yes. He'd been deliberately writing "gently caress YOU ALL - HERE, I'M GONNA STEAL DIALOGUE FROM 1967 ISSUES VERBATIM AND YOU WON'T EVEN NOTICE" scripts for ~~over a year~~ six months by that point.

edit: here, Englehart's thoughts on the issues he wrote under his own name, and then as "SFX Englehart" ("SFX" as in "special effects"), and finally as "John Harkness".

Parahexavoctal fucked around with this message at 21:16 on Jan 15, 2014

# ? Jan 15, 2014 20:59

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

Parahexavoctal posted:

Post-Morrison, yes; that's a "secondary mutation". But for decades he was just a guy with blue hair all over his body, extremely large hands and feet, and superhuman strength and physical skills. (Also I think his canine teeth were maybe a little pointier than they should have been. His ears were portrayed as pointy, but that could have just been more fur.)

With shaving: "He's a mutant! His hands and feet are very big, and he's as strong and fast and dextrous and flexible as an Olympic athlete!"

Without shaving: "He's a furry blue monster!"

No, he had bestial teeth, pointed ears, (depending on the artist) clawed, oversized hands and feet, and generally more beastial/monstrous features. His original mutation was just big hands and feet.

First appearance:

# ? Jan 15, 2014 22:48

IUG: Jul 14, 2007

Also at that point he was embarrassed by his mutation as well. He resorted to masks and gloves, but also had to put on a physically painful harness because he just didn't even stand like a human anymore.

# ? Jan 16, 2014 01:14

Cooked Auto: Aug 4, 2007

The Question IRL posted:

In X-Men: The End he made Nightcrawler into an actor who stared in James Bond movies produced by Jubilee.
Nightcrawlers ultimate destiny was to become Timothy Dalton. I am 100% fine with that as a character arc for Kurt.

Pity it's alternative universe because I'm now imagining vampire Jubilee producing movies with Nightcrawler in the lead and somewhere you have X-23 in there as well because I still consider them to be the bestest duo. :3:

# ? Jan 16, 2014 18:59

laz0rbeak: Oct 9, 2011

Parahexavoctal posted:

for those of you who hated Englehart's run on FF, you need to see the run he disavowed (credited to 'John Harkness').

Yeah, that's a big part of why his run was so bad. He turned the book into a months long pout-fest, after introducing Fasaud the video Arab, suicidal Ms. Marvel II, and a whole lot of other just awful stuff. And on his blog he whines about how bringing back Reed and Sue is Marvel being out of ideas and "dragging back" these characters, and while he's right that neither Reed nor Sue are exactly superstars, he basically just blandly wrote them out of the book entirely instead of just putting them on the back-burner. Also his response to getting fired off AWC for a Mantis story no one wants? "I'm gonna write a Mantis FF story!"

# ? Jan 17, 2014 00:23

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Mantis is like his pet character and he includes her everywhere he can (sort of like Jim Starlin and Thanos); he even introduced a lawyer-friendly version when he left Marvel to write the Justice League in the late 1970s.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 01:43

Dark_Tzitzimine: Oct 9, 2012; by R. Guyovich

So Tynion finally ended his first and last arc on RHATO, I said before the reasons on why I thought it was so bad but the ending was so mediocre than I'm feeling scammed. It was predictable, lacked a real resolution, was filled with asspulls and that art I liked so much was only used on three pages; the sad thing is than there were signs of a real fun book in there buried under all the bullshit he wrote.

The bright side is than the 'ending' closed everything he do on the book in such way than you can safely ignore it all and hopefully, it would never be brought again.

This page with Jason doing a shoryuken on Ra's is the perfect sample on how Tynion tried too hard to do a fun and epic book.

So long Tynion, you won't be missed.

Dark_Tzitzimine fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Jan 23, 2014

# ? Jan 22, 2014 22:02

I Before E: Jul 2, 2012

Dark_Tzitzimine posted:

So long Tynion, you won't be missed.

oh my god that is the stupidest loving page.

# ? Jan 22, 2014 22:05

redbackground: Sep 24, 2007; BEHOLD!
OPTIC BLAST!; Grimey Drawer

Dark_Tzitzimine posted:

hhhaaaaahahaha

# ? Jan 22, 2014 22:14

Evil Mastermind: Apr 28, 2008

Dark_Tzitzimine posted:

This page with Jason doing a shoryuken on Ra's is the perfect sample on how Tynion tried too hard to do a fun and epic book.

So long Tynion, you won't be missed.

Wait, hold on...was Ra's Al Ghul just defeated by the power of *~FRIENDSHIP~*?

# ? Jan 22, 2014 22:25