BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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«‹›1996 »

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

Pick 'em: Act of Man, Act of God

Intercontinental Championship
Walney Rakers (c) @ South Bolton Eazy W's

Television Championship
Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c) @ Australian Thunder

Canadian Championship
Cancun Tornados (c) @ Burma Imperialists

UNIFICATION SERIES! United States vs. Hardcore
Great Plains Revolution unify vs. both retain vs. Coburns unify

European Championship
Philadelphia Premodernists (c) @ Zombie Llamas

UNIFICATION SERIES! Larkin-Downing vs. Heavyweight
Oklahoma City Bombers unify vs. both retain vs. Bloomington Bullseyes unify

# ? Jan 25, 2014 01:07

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 15:17

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

Dave Stewart takes Donovan's spot, Danny Darwin to take Stewie's spot in the bullpen.

Pick 'em: Act of Man, Act of God

Intercontinental Championship
South Bolton Eazy W's

Television Championship
Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c)

Canadian Championship
Burma Imperialists

UNIFICATION SERIES! United States vs. Hardcore
both retain

European Championship
Zombie Llamas

UNIFICATION SERIES! Larkin-Downing vs. Heavyweight
Oklahoma City Bombers unify

# ? Jan 25, 2014 01:18

TKBomber7285: Feb 20, 2011

Pick 'em: Act of Man, Act of God

Intercontinental Championship
Walney Rakers (c) @ South Bolton Eazy W's

Television Championship
Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c) @ Australian Thunder

Canadian Championship
Cancun Tornados (c) @ Burma Imperialists

UNIFICATION SERIES! United States vs. Hardcore
Great Plains Revolution unify vs. both retain vs. Coburns unify

European Championship
Philadelphia Premodernists (c) @ Zombie Llamas

UNIFICATION SERIES! Larkin-Downing vs. Heavyweight
Oklahoma City Bombers unify vs. both retain vs. Bloomington Bullseyes unify

# ? Jan 25, 2014 01:32

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Install Mark Erihhorn as Closer, Joe Niekro as Setup.

Pick 'em: Act of Man, Act of God

Intercontinental Championship
Walney Rakers (c) @ South Bolton Eazy W's

Television Championship
Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c) @ Australian Thunder

Canadian Championship
Cancun Tornados (c) @ Burma Imperialists

UNIFICATION SERIES! United States vs. Hardcore
Great Plains Revolution unify vs. both retain vs. Coburns unify

European Championship
Philadelphia Premodernists (c) @ Zombie Llamas

UNIFICATION SERIES! Larkin-Downing vs. Heavyweight
Oklahoma City Bombers unify vs. both retain vs. Bloomington Bullseyes unify

# ? Jan 25, 2014 02:20

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Pick 'em: Act of Man, Act of God

Intercontinental Championship
Walney Rakers (c) @ South Bolton Eazy W's

Television Championship
Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c) @ Australian Thunder

Canadian Championship
Cancun Tornados (c) @ Burma Imperialists

UNIFICATION SERIES! United States vs. Hardcore
Great Plains Revolution unify vs. both retain vs. Coburns unify

European Championship
Philadelphia Premodernists (c) @ Zombie Llamas

UNIFICATION SERIES! Larkin-Downing vs. Heavyweight
Oklahoma City Bombers unify vs. both retain vs. Bloomington Bullseyes unify

I'll update Pick 'Em tomorrow when I set up my workstation at home and then discover I don't really want to work on a Saturday and start looking for things to do other than work.

Anyways:

All champs retain (meaning "both retain" in the event of a unification)

# ? Jan 25, 2014 02:22

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

Walney Rakers (c)
Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c) @ Australian Thunder
Cancun Tornados (c) @ Burma Imperialists
Great Plains Revolution unify vs. both retain vs. Coburns unify
Philadelphia Premodernists (c) @ Zombie Llamas
Oklahoma City Bombers unify vs. both retain vs. Bloomington Bullseyes unify

# ? Jan 25, 2014 02:49

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

Pick 'em: Act of Man, Act of God

Intercontinental Championship
Walney Rakers (c)

Television Championship
Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c)

Canadian Championship
Burma Imperialists

UNIFICATION SERIES! United States vs. Hardcore
both retain

European Championship
Philadelphia Premodernists (c)

UNIFICATION SERIES! Larkin-Downing vs. Heavyweight
Oklahoma City Bombers unify

# ? Jan 25, 2014 04:16

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

No unifications, everyone retains.

# ? Jan 25, 2014 05:46

Mr. Locke: Jul 28, 2010

Here's hoping someone on the Boneheads remembers what end to grab the bat from this week.

Pick 'em: Act of Man, Act of God

Intercontinental Championship
Walney Rakers (c) @ South Bolton Eazy W's

Television Championship
Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c) @ Australian Thunder

Canadian Championship
Cancun Tornados (c) @ Burma Imperialists

UNIFICATION SERIES! United States vs. Hardcore
Great Plains Revolution unify vs. both retain vs. Coburns unify

European Championship
Philadelphia Premodernists (c) @ Zombie Llamas

UNIFICATION SERIES! Larkin-Downing vs. Heavyweight
Oklahoma City Bombers unify vs. both retain vs. Bloomington Bullseyes unify

# ? Jan 25, 2014 11:52

Paul Zuvella: Dec 7, 2011

Pick 'em: Act of Man, Act of God

Intercontinental Championship
Walney Rakers (c) @ South Bolton Eazy W's

Television Championship
Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c) @ Australian Thunder

Canadian Championship
Cancun Tornados (c) @ Burma Imperialists

UNIFICATION SERIES! United States vs. Hardcore
Great Plains Revolution unify vs. both retain vs. Coburns unify

European Championship
Philadelphia Premodernists (c) @ Zombie Llamas

UNIFICATION SERIES! Larkin-Downing vs. Heavyweight
Oklahoma City Bombers unify vs. both retain vs. Bloomington Bullseyes unify

Pick 'em: Act of Man, Act of God

Intercontinental Championship
Walney Rakers (c) @ South Bolton Eazy W's

Television Championship
Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c) @ Australian Thunder

Canadian Championship
Cancun Tornados (c) @ Burma Imperialists

UNIFICATION SERIES! United States vs. Hardcore
Great Plains Revolution unify vs. both retain vs. Coburns unify

European Championship
Philadelphia Premodernists (c) @ Zombie Llamas

UNIFICATION SERIES! Larkin-Downing vs. Heavyweight
Oklahoma City Bombers unify vs. both retain vs. Bloomington Bullseyes unify

# ? Jan 25, 2014 20:47

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Super-League XII, Week 2: The Sun Also Sets

Games of the Week

Don May posted:

BULLSEYES WIN L-D CHAMPIONSHIP WITH 9-4 WIN

Bloomington- Perhaps these are not the greatest Googly-Mooglies after all.

The Bullseyes ran out to a 9-0 lead after just five innings, and easily held on to win the game and complete the sweep of the Mooglies, winning them their first Larkin-Downing Championship.

For the Mooglies, it was a disaster from the start, as Zack Greinke gave up nine earned runs in four and two-thirds innings, effectively ending the game before it was even half-over. It had been hoped that, after several disappointing offerings from The Goog, that the Greatest Googly-Mooglies would represent a return to the halcyon days of the first Super-League, where the Great Googly-Mooglies remained in contention throughout the regular season before missing the playoffs due to a lack of a wildcard.

After the game, The Goog expressed his disappointment, "I have lived for ten thousand eons, and yet this is the most tragic day in all 25 of my incarnations, past, present and future. And while some may find that fact to be depressing, The Goog understands that this being the lowest that he will ever feel means that, from here on out, things must improve, and I will soon enough rise and spread my message of cosmic love throughout the universe." Reporters noted that this was hardly the Goog's most inspiring message, to which he explained that, "The Goog is a warrior of poetry, and when I feel pain, I feel it on a conscious, a subconscious and a superconscious level, and it's hard to give benedictions about the eternal return of space and time when your heart is hurting."

Zack Greinke was also sought out for comment, but was unable to respond as he was found curled up in a fetal position in front of his locker, rocking back and forth and mumbling to himself.

Conversely, blackmongoose seemed energized by the win, "Well, this is a great win for both me and my team, and it's the second-best news I've had all day, after I got the financing for a new Nissan Sentra approved, of course. The Sentra is a good car, a solid car, and I really think that this new car is going to make a positive difference in my life. After all, getting a car is what normal people do, and I'm a normal person, not some sort of crazy cult leader. Anyway, I'm thinking of getting satellite radio for the car. I know that it's a bit pricy, but I'm doing well at work, and I think I can afford to splurge for once."

mentholmoose, wearing a terrible fake beard and declaring himself to be "Francisco Canterbury from the Oklahoma City Tribune", then asked if blackmongoose was prepared to lose his new title in just three days to the Oklahoma City Bombers, a team that, according to Mr. Canterbury, "was a team that stayed true to their roots and never sold out, unlike some teams!"

blackmongoose responding by saying that, "The Bombers are a good team, no doubt about that, but I think the Bullseyes have a decent chance of retaining and, if things break right, maybe even winning the Heavyweight Championship from the Bombers. But, in any case, I'm not going to turn our series against the Bombers into some sort of epic death-struggle. That's just not my style anymore."

In response, Mr. Canterbury stormed out, vowing that he'd, "Make blackmongoose remember who he was."

GAME NOTES

-Poor Zack Greinke, Jim Thome just had his number from the start.

-Speaking of which, Jim Thome announced that, in celebration of hitting two home runs, he was going to eat two full slabs of ribs after the game.

-Both teams used Alex Rodriguezes in the game, which led to the unusual sight of the two A-Rod's embracing after the game, crying tears of joy as, for the first time in their lives, they finally had someone who understood them.

Box Score

Don May posted:

BOMBERS UNIFY LARKIN-DOWNING AND HEAVYWEIGHT TITLES WITH 6-2 WIN

Oklahoma City- There was a time when the Bombers could have been stopped, but we're well past that now.

For the second time in just two weeks, the OKC Bombers secured themselves a championship with a dominating sweep over the Bloomington Bullseyes, and now hold both the Heavyweight and Larkin-Downing Championships. On the other side, it was a devastating loss for the Bullseyes, who lost their Larkin-Downing title after holding it for less than a week.

blackmongoose told reporters after the game that, "It was disappointing, but these things happen. You can't let this league get you too down because, after all, it's just some fun we have in our free time. I'm going to go home, have dinner with my fiance, maybe have a glass of wine or two, and then watch that great CBS comedy block until it's time for bed. I know that a lot of you are down on Two and a Half Men, but I say that adding Amber Tamblyn as the least realistic le-"

At that point, blackmongoose was savagely attacked by mentholmoose, who, as part of a terrible disguise, had dressed up as the team's janitor, before screaming at blackmongoose, "You loving traitor! Uh...traitor to mentholmoose, who I am totally not, and so his enemies can't get me...him, whatever! What the gently caress happened to you? What happened to the old days when you had an evil dome and evil plans to conquer the world, and I used to, I mean, mentholmoose used to make crazy conspiracy theories about how you and your dome were just fronts for the Bilderburg Group and the Trilateral Commission. But look at you now, you're just some guy with a super-boring life, and that's just how it is now? What is going on?"

mentholmoose dropped his mop and held his head in his hands as he continued, clearly distraught, "I feel like they're all working against me, I mean, against mentholmoose, who I am definitely not. There's some sort of conspiracy to destroy the Super-League, and it's coming from within. Why is Bruzer back in the league? Nothing good has ever happened with Bruzer in the league. And they're letting me...uh...mentholmoose win games. They never let me win anything. And now blackmongoose is not even blackmongoose anymore. Well, it doesn't matter because I'm going to get to the bottom of it and figure out who's behind this conspiracy once and for all." mentholmoose then turned to leave before declaring, "And I am totally not mentholmoose!"

GAME NOTES

-Incidentally, this was the not the first time that blackmongoose had won and lost the Larkin-Downing Championship in the span of a single week. In Super-League IX, the Antarctic Unspecifieds won the Larkin-Downing Championship from the Burma Imperialists in week 13, only to drop it to the Web 2.0 Bloggers just one series later. Of course, as blackmongoose would like to remind us, that was a long time ago, and blackmongoose is a much different man now.

-Michael Young had three of the Bullseyes' five hits. In general, when Michael Young gets most of the hits for a team, terrible things tend to happen, a fact that he himself has admitted on several occasions, likening himself to some sort of sentient bane, who drives good fortune and hope away from any team that dares employ him.

-Jim Thome was held out of the lineup once again because of food poisoning caused by inadequately cooked pork ribs. Speaking from his sickbed, Thome gave an admonition to his fans that, "You have to make sure that you cook your ribs really well, because apparently pork can be dangerous if eaten undercooked. But, just like I told my doctors, if I have to choose between life without pork and a slow, painful death, I'll choose the pork every time and that is why, despite the pleading of several medical professionals, my first act upon being released from this hospital will be to eat two more slabs of ribs, to prove that I will not be bullied around by pork. Thank you, and god bless."

-Jim Bunning (R-KY) failed to strike out a single batter in seven and a third innings. Asked for what went wrong, he told reporters to, "go gently caress yourselves."

Box Score

Don May posted:

LLAMAS OBLITERATE PREMODERNISTS 29-7

Nepal- Up here in the mountains, the air is thin, and there is a sense of foreboding that pervades this place. The Dinger Temple truly is a place of holiness, even if it's god tends more towards the wrathful than loving.

The Premodernists, the youngest of Marauder's spawn, came into today's game just wanting to leave this place. They had won a game the previous day, so their European Championship was not on the line and yet, nonetheless, they were leery of this place, with its thin air and frigid temperatures. Before they went, however, they would have to play one more game in the Dinger Temple.

To give a complete accounting of today's game would be both tedious and unnecessary. The numbers speak for themselves. The Llamas scored 29 runs, piled up 32 hits and slugged 11 home runs. THere is little doubt that these numbers were partially, if not mostly, a creation of the extreme conditions in this ballpark, but, even with that qualifier, they are still staggering.

Though the Premodernists suffered a staggering defeat, they must be given at least some credit for simply surviving the onslaught in conditions that no team could endure for long. The Dinger Temple is a sacred place and, like most sacred places, is a place apart from the material world. The Premodernists, scions of Marauder and his earthly empire, could find no comfort in such a sanctuary. And so they were crushed, but such a defeat was essentially inevitable.

TheFlyingLlama said as much after the game, "I have been known as a madman, as a drunk, as a Southerner, but here, in my temple, where I am so close to the heavens, I am the true messiah of the dinger, that majestic blast surpassing all others. Up here, where the air is thin and the stars shine just a little bit brighter, the Zombie Llamas have been raised above the world, to a higher station from which we will bring punishment upon this sinful league. For too long, men such as Marauder have defiled this league with their profane rosters that are "scientifically" and "statistically" sound. But there is no higher power on this earth than the dinger, and I can no longer abide any such man that denies this elemental truth."

"Two seasons ago, in the Gauntlet, Pander, the first prophet of the word of the Dinger showed us the true path, the righteous path, and built his temple not far from here. But Pander was flawed. He could show us the path to paradise, but he could not enter it himself, and he fell from this place, back to the earth so far below. But I have come now, come to spread the word, not with speeches, but with the force of a thousand dingers at my back. Join me, owners of the Super-League, place the dinger above all others, or you too shall share the fate of the Premodernists, burned and blasted by our power. You can join me up here in the clouds, and we can reach new heights, or I can bury you under the ground, from where your spirit shall never rise again."

GAME NOTES

-Roger Connor hits another home run! Of course, it's still not entirely clear what hitting a home run in the Dinger Temple really means, but it's better than nothing.

-After the game, NotThatSamBeckett, the ambiguously-gendered young prince of the Marauder Syndicate told reporters that, "This is like season four of Community, everything is just a bit off and nothing seems quite right and the writers are well-meaning but they don't quite have it all down and I just want it to stop!"

-The game's numbers were so ridiculous that it was decided that the box score be intentionally altered so that it would not unduly damage those readers of weaker constitution.

Box Score

Don May posted:

PHANTOMS WIN 2-1 JUST BECAUSE

Dorchester- It happened in a flash.

The game was tied 1-1 in the bottom of the ninth, and cbx decided to stick with Dave Tobik, who had worked a perfect eighth inning. Mickey Mantle was first up for the Phantoms, and Tobik decided to pitch aggressively, as Mantle was more than willing to take a walk. Tobik's first pitch was a fastball down the middle, a challenge pitch if there ever was one.

Mantle took the challenge, hit the ball out of the park, and ended the game.

It was a rough defeat for the Protectors, to be sure, but cbx tried to remain upbeat. Unfortunately, due to the stresses placed upon him by both the strain of living in Detroit as well as the added pressure of trying to run the Franchise Challenge, cbx has unfortunately lost the ability to speak, and so attempted to give his post-game comments to reporters by pantomime. Unfortunately, it was not entirely clear what he meant, and so it is still unknown whether cbx is happy with his team despite the loss, or that he wants to burn them alive with a flamethrower while drinking a can of Barq's root beer. It is also unknown whether cbx is optimistic about the season, or hopes that the scandal surrounding Francois Hollande clears up soon. It is possible he hopes for both, and, in fairness, Hollande's dalliances do seem to be more the norm for French politicians than the exception.

As for the winning team, Mantle decided to celebrate his walk-off home run with an entire fifth of victory whiskey, which is much like normal whiskey, except with a higher proof, and then went off to drive drunk, noting that he would, "probably try not to run into anyone, probably."

TKBomber, whose Phantoms stand at a DL-best 10-2, explained that his team's success is the result of, "Going back to basics. Why did the Skyhawks work? Because I'm TKBomber. There's no logic to it, no reason. You see, after they went away, I got caught up in this idea that I had to 'build' a great team, that I had to do research, figure out how to put together a roster that could win. And when that didn't work, I tried to cheat the system wherever I could. Creating an alt account, trading my best players from the Phantoms to the Rated R Superstars. But none of that worked. And do you know why that didn't work? Because I wasn't playing to my strengths. I don't have to out-think other owners, I don't have to be clever or anything like that. I'm TKBomber, I'm going to win because that's just how the game works. I'm special. My rotation has an old Tom Seaver, and losers like Mario Soto, Bill Lee and Claude Passeau. By every right they should be terrible, but because I'm me, the Phantoms have a team ERA of 2.40. If any of tried that, you'd be hosed. But that's why it's so great being me, because as long as I realize my own greatness, and don't try and fight, I can't be stopped. I won three Super-League Championships and, you know what, however lovely you might think the Phantoms are, they're going to win it again this year because that's just how the game works. And who am I to question it?"

GAME NOTES

-I have run out of good gimmicks for cbx. Sorry. And Robocop running a team wouldn't be very exciting. Peter Weller running the team would be more exciting, but I'm not sure where I'd go with that. Probably nowhere promising.

-CthulhuDreams gave me ten Australian dollars for this space in the recap, and while I later found out that, after converting that to American dollars, it's only 23 cents, I am honor-bound to give Cthuhlu this space:

"NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C.
NEED C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C. WILL MAKE DEAL. WILL BARGAIN FOR C. MUST HAVE C. GIVE CTHULHUDREAMS C."

Box Score

Team Statistics

Analysis

A 1-5 week? I'm pretty sure I just gave CthulhuDreams a heart attack from across the globe.

Analysis

Your team can't hit under the Mendoza line forever.

At least, I don't think they can.

Analysis

0-6 against the Bombers, 4-2 against the rest of the league. I'm not sure that means anything just yet, though.

Analysis

Your pitching being what it is, you need your hitting to be dominant, and I'm not sure it's good enough to get to that level, especially with Gehrig out.

Analysis

Fortunately for you, the rest of the month will provide ample opportunities to get your hitting working right.

Analysis

It's not time to panic just yet.

Analysis

Well, at least you have an easy schedule coming up.

Analysis

Not a bad start, but those power numbers are a bit inflated by your series in the Dinger Temple.

Analysis

Stop disappointing me.

Analysis

Harry Stovey can't be your long-term solution at LF.

Analysis

Impossible to explain.

Analysis

Here's the thing, if your pitcher's fastball tops out at less than 92 mph, he'd better be a deadballer.

Analysis

The Oranges will come around. Probably.

Analysis

Start Cesar Cedeno at first base.

Do it. Now. Go.

Analysis

The Bangers rise to the top, as always.

Analysis

Assuming that Paige eventually stops pitching terribly, the Revolution might have something going for them.

Analysis

Well, gently caress.

Analysis

Not a bad start for the Potatoes, all things considered.

Analysis

You lost a series to the Bronies. Hang your head in shame.

Analysis

I doubt this is a surprise to you, but you need better hitting.

Analysis

A bit too early for me to get a read on this team.

Analysis

It's still a small sample size.

Analysis

It wouldn't be the Super-League if mrnoun weren't overachieving.

Analysis

Kind of makes Walter Johnson's struggles last year kind of worth it.

Analysis

If there's any team not suited to play in the Dinger Temple, it's the Premodernists.

Analysis

No, you can't challenge Josh Gibson's rating yet.

And, no, you also can't use Gibson's bad hitting to justify him being traded to the Australian Thunder for a Super-Draft pick either.

Analysis

I'm not sure this team is all that good yet, but they're doing better than I expected. I do worry about their rotation, though.

Analysis

Is this the year the Generics finally reach the postseason?

Probably not, but it's fun to dream.

Analysis

Getting better all the time. Also, check out the huge gap between Machine's BA and OBP. You're going to need to learn to make peace with that.

Analysis

And that's the week Yoshida imploded.

Analysis

David Cone was never going to be your savior.

Analysis

Your team makes me feel deeply upset on the inside. I don't know how to live in a world where Pungry has done something right. Then again, your team hasn't actually beaten anyone impressive yet, and the one series against a good team so far (the W's), you went 1-2 in. So, this will probably correct itself in time.

Analysis

Still not time to panic.

Analysis

For game balance issues, I'm really hoping your team doesn't keep this up.

Results

# ? Jan 25, 2014 21:49

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Cesar Cedeno in at 1st Base, because Smasher told me to.

# ? Jan 25, 2014 23:00

BrooklynBruiser: Aug 20, 2006

I haven't had to play any no-DH games yet, have I? That no-DH lineup is all kinds of hosed up. Please make it the same as my DH lineup, just excise Berkman and shift the rest up accordingly.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 02:03

Pungry: Feb 26, 2011; JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.

Adrian Beltre has 5 homeruns, this is entirely unsustainable. But who cares?! I'm enjoying the hell out of this.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 02:04

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

BrooklynBruiser posted:

I haven't had to play any no-DH games yet, have I? That no-DH lineup is all kinds of hosed up. Please make it the same as my DH lineup, just excise Berkman and shift the rest up accordingly.

All of your games have been no-DH games! The fix is in.

But seriously, just like a lot of other people, you never set your no-DH lineup before the season, so I didn't try and guess what it should be. Although starting Combs over Berkman is an interesting choice.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 02:16

BrooklynBruiser: Aug 20, 2006

Smasher Dynamo posted:

All of your games have been no-DH games! The fix is in.

But seriously, just like a lot of other people, you never set your no-DH lineup before the season, so I didn't try and guess what it should be. Although starting Combs over Berkman is an interesting choice.

Given how much of a liability Berkman is on defense, I think Combs is a better overall value than Berkman.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 02:20

CFBalla: Sep 16, 2009; Yeah, I just made that shot.

gently caress it. Move Steve Foucault to the minors, move Carlos Marmol to set-up man, and move Michael Wuertz to a short relief position. :krakken:

# ? Jan 26, 2014 02:28

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

BrooklynBruiser posted:

Given how much of a liability Berkman is on defense, I think Combs is a better overall value than Berkman.

If Combs were playing center field, you might be right, but he isn't, and having a no-power guy in a corner outfield spot is pretty risky when your offense needs to be humming along at maximum efficiency to make up for A.J. Burnett and pals.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 02:30

BrooklynBruiser: Aug 20, 2006

Smasher Dynamo posted:

If Combs were playing center field, you might be right, but he isn't, and having a no-power guy in a corner outfield spot is pretty risky when your offense needs to be humming along at maximum efficiency to make up for A.J. Burnett and pals.

For my no-DH lineup, put Mickey Mantle at 1B, Earle Combs at CF, Lance Berkman at LF, and Babe Ruth in RF. Lineup order the same as the DH lineup.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 02:36

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

BrooklynBruiser posted:

For my no-DH lineup, put Mickey Mantle at 1B, Earle Combs at CF, Lance Berkman at LF, and Babe Ruth in RF. Lineup order the same as the DH lineup.

Okay, that would just make things worse, since now you've made your defense worse while you using the exact same players.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 02:38

TKBomber7285: Feb 20, 2011

I can't believe it took me two weeks in the season to notice this, but apparently Hank Lieber got erased so Roberto Clemente could play in right field with no opposition. Of course with the start he has had Clemente will be keeping his position, but I would like 1939 Hank Lieber to return from the Dead Zone to my bench and demote Bert Campaneris to AAA to make room.

EDIT: Forgot the roster link

TKBomber7285 fucked around with this message at 04:38 on Jan 26, 2014

# ? Jan 26, 2014 04:15

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

TKBomber7285 posted:

I can't believe it took me two weeks in the season to notice this, but apparently Hank Lieber got erased so Roberto Clemente could play in right field with no opposition. Of course with the start he has had Clemente will be keeping his position, but I would like 1939 Hank Lieber to return from the Dead Zone to my bench and demote Bert Campaneris to AAA to make room.

EDIT: Forgot the roster link

Let's learn something together!

The most difficult part of inputting rosters for the Super-League is making sure that I have the right player ID code, which typically consists of the last five numbers of a player's last name and the first two letters of a player's first name and then a two-digit number code that increases depending on how many players with the same seven-letter code had come before in history.

So, normally speaking, Hank Lieber's code would be: liebeha01.

But now it's time to blow your mind, TKBomber. You're going to want to sit down for this.

No, seriously, dude, sit down, we're about to go through the looking glass.

Hank Lieber does not exist.

That's right! Now I can't say what happened to erase Hank Lieber from history. Some sort of evil cabal of revisionists? The use of a powerful magic spell that has sealed our memories of him? Perhaps some sort of sophisticated electromagnetic array that prevents our brains from even thinking of this man. Most likely it's time travel gone wrong. Always bet on time travel gone wrong. In any event, some incredibly powerful force has somehow eliminated any record of this man from this world, and there is nothing I can do.

And at this point, you're probably thinking to yourself, "Oh...gently caress, it's Hank Leiber." And yes, that is the player you were thinking of, but whose name you misspelled roughly two dozen times, which means I didn't enter it into the roster properly, because while I know a lot about baseball history, I admittedly don't have a perfectly memory for part-time outfielders of the late-30s.

Which brings me to my next point, which is that you should not want Hank Leiber. He had one good full season, two decent half-seasons, and that's really about it. Yes, he has a high career OPS+, but that's because he had that one good season, and basically nothing else. Your roster post still lists him as your starting RF over Clemente, which is so insane that I simply refuse to make that change on moral grounds.

In summary, THIS IS WHY I AM ANGRY ALL THE TIME!

# ? Jan 26, 2014 05:35

Zodiac5000: Jun 19, 2006; Protects the Pack!; Doctor Rope

Let's swap Dwight Gooden and Jim Perry. Gooden's coke wore off, and now he just won't shut up about how he'd be better if I hadn't used all his stash. Maybe some time at long relief, which apparently just doesn't loving exist, will help him find his spots.

Second, Put Luis Gonzalez onto my bench, moving Bob Allison down to the minors. If strawberry doesn't show some improvement soon, I might need to see if I can force Gonzalez to play in right...

Finally Swap Chipper Jones and Jeff Bagwell in my batting order. Chipper is showing some great skills, might as well let him do it more.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 05:53

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Zodiac5000 posted:

Let's swap Dwight Gooden and Jim Perry. Gooden's coke wore off, and now he just won't shut up about how he'd be better if I hadn't used all his stash. Maybe some time at long relief, which apparently just doesn't loving exist, will help him find his spots.

Second, Put Luis Gonzalez onto my bench, moving Bob Allison down to the minors. If strawberry doesn't show some improvement soon, I might need to see if I can force Gonzalez to play in right...

Finally Swap Chipper Jones and Jeff Bagwell in my batting order. Chipper is showing some great skills, might as well let him do it more.

Okay, putting aide the fact that swapping Chipper Jones and Jeff Bagwell seems like a move made for no other purpose than to drive me insane (seriously the net difference in at-bats between the #3 and #5 positions is miniscule), I don't know why you think that Gonzo can play RF better than Bob Allison. I'm not sure Allison was a great right fielder, but he did play there regularly in the first half of his career, and probably would have continued to do so for a couple more years but for Tony Oliva. As for Gonzalez, he only played 22 games in the entirety of his career at RF, and they all happened in his very last season with the Marlins. So, if you're auditioning for RF replacements, I think Allison has to be near the top of that list. Or maybe Oliva, who also logged a lot of time at RF.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 08:16

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Huh. Still scoring plenty but my 3-5 starters aren't doing well so far. Let's make a couple changes. Typing from mobile so sorry if I gently caress up spelling.

spahn to aaa! Douglas in his place.
Waner becomes full time rf rather than platoon.
Hellmann becomes full time 1b, meaning the olerud youk platoon moves to the bench.

Thank you

# ? Jan 26, 2014 14:02

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

PICK 'EM UPDATE

Captain Yesterday, you might not know Greg Gross from Rex Grossman, but you are pretty good at Pick 'Em!

1.) Captain Yesterday, 14 pts
1.) The Goog, 14 points
3.) CFBalla, 1 point back
3.) Mr. Locke, 1 point back
5.) CVS, 2 points back
5.) Monicro, 2 points back
5.) The Flying Llama, 2 points back

# ? Jan 26, 2014 15:03

TKBomber7285: Feb 20, 2011

The Phantoms and Thunder have made a trade

Phantoms give
1939 Gabby Hartnett

Thunder give
1930 Harry Rice

# ? Jan 26, 2014 17:20

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

HoF catcher for a not very good utility guy?

# ? Jan 26, 2014 17:25

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

He's 38. That's old for a ctacher

TKBomber7285 posted:

The Phantoms and Thunder have made a trade

Phantoms give
1939 Gabby Hartnett

Thunder give
1930 Harry Rice

Done. Set hartnett as personal catcher for cicotte and hubbell, Hogan catches the other three.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 17:30

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

Cthulhu Dreams posted:

He's 38. That's old for a ctacher

Done. Set hartnett as personal catcher for cicotte and hubbell, Hogan catches the other three.

So don't make him your everyday. He's still better than a guy who wasn't very good at any age.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 17:49

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Week 3 Injury Report

Australian Thunder
Rodgers Hornbay (2B) (Spell Check Failure) - 13 days

Fukuoka Finger-Bangers
Joe Morgan (2B) (The Disaster) - 12 days
Edgar Martinez (3B) (The Disaster) - 14 days

Great Plains Revolution
Dustin Pedroia (2B) (Refused to endorse flat tax) - 7 days

Rochester Generics
Joe Medwick (LF) (Musial Time!) - 11 days

South Dakota Marmosets
Todd Jones (RP) (Died Alone) - 11 days

Pick 'em: Hope

Intercontinental Championship
Australian Thunder @ Walney Rakers (c) (4-Game Series)

Television Championship
Plunder Corp. @ Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c)

Canadian Championship
Dorchester Phantoms @ Cancun Tornados (c)

European Championship
Philadelphia Premodernists (c) @ CERN Colliders

Hardcore Championship
Florida Oranges @ Great Plains Revolution (c)

United States Championship
Portland Hipsters @ Coburns (c)

Larkin-Downing and Heavyweight Championships
New World Symphony @ Oklahoma City Bombers (c)

Smasher Dynamo fucked around with this message at 20:08 on Jan 26, 2014

# ? Jan 26, 2014 20:03

TheFlyingLlama: Jan 2, 2013; You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?

Pick 'em: Hope

Intercontinental Championship
Australian Thunder @ Walney Rakers (c) (4-Game Series)

Television Championship
Plunder Corp. @ Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c)

Canadian Championship
Dorchester Phantoms @ Cancun Tornados (c)

Hardcore Championship
Florida Oranges @ Great Plains Revolution (c)

United States Championship
Portland Hipsters @ Coburns (c)

Larkin-Downing and Heavyweight Championships
New World Symphony @ Oklahoma City Bombers (c)

# ? Jan 26, 2014 20:09

theacox: Jun 8, 2010; You can't be serious.

Pick 'em: Hope

Intercontinental Championship
Walney Rakers (c)

Television Championship
Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c)

Canadian Championship
Cancun Tornados (c)

Hardcore Championship
Great Plains Revolution (c)

United States Championship
Coburns (c)

Larkin-Downing and Heavyweight Championships
Oklahoma City Bombers (c)

# ? Jan 26, 2014 20:09

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

New World wins, all others retain.

I'll assume that old Musial can keep down the fort by himself for a week, which is what the AI will do.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 20:15

Monathin: Sep 1, 2011; ?????????
?

Pick 'em: Hope

Intercontinental Championship
Australian Thunder @ Walney Rakers (c) (4-Game Series)

Television Championship
Plunder Corp. @ Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c)

Canadian Championship
Dorchester Phantoms @ Cancun Tornados (c)

European Championship
Philadelphia Premodernists (c) @ CERN Colliders

Hardcore Championship
Florida Oranges @ Great Plains Revolution (c)

United States Championship
Portland Hipsters @ Coburns (c)

Larkin-Downing and Heavyweight Championships
New World Symphony @ Oklahoma City Bombers (c)

# ? Jan 26, 2014 20:22

theacox: Jun 8, 2010; You can't be serious.

Erm...add this to my picks above.

European Championship
Philadelphia Premodernists (c)

# ? Jan 26, 2014 20:31

Beet: Aug 24, 2003

Pick 'em: Hope

Intercontinental Championship
Australian Thunder @ Walney Rakers (c) (4-Game Series)

Television Championship
Plunder Corp. @ Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c)

Canadian Championship
Dorchester Phantoms @ Cancun Tornados (c)

European Championship
Philadelphia Premodernists (c) @ CERN Colliders

Hardcore Championship
Florida Oranges @ Great Plains Revolution (c)

United States Championship
Portland Hipsters @ Coburns (c)

Larkin-Downing and Heavyweight Championships
New World Symphony @ Oklahoma City Bombers (c)

# ? Jan 26, 2014 20:59

CVE: Jan 27, 2012

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Pick 'em: Hope

Intercontinental Championship
Australian Thunder @ Walney Rakers (c) (4-Game Series)

Television Championship
Plunder Corp. @ Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c)

Canadian Championship
Dorchester Phantoms @ Cancun Tornados (c)

European Championship
Philadelphia Premodernists (c) @ CERN Colliders

Hardcore Championship
Florida Oranges @ Great Plains Revolution (c)

United States Championship
Portland Hipsters @ Coburns (c)

Larkin-Downing and Heavyweight Championships
New World Symphony @ Oklahoma City Bombers (c)

Week 3 Pick 'em

# ? Jan 26, 2014 21:09

CFBalla: Sep 16, 2009; Yeah, I just made that shot.

Week 3 Pick 'em: Hope

Intercontinental Championship
Australian Thunder @ Walney Rakers (c) (4-Game Series)

Television Championship
Plunder Corp. @ Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (c)

Canadian Championship
Dorchester Phantoms @ Cancun Tornados (c)

Hardcore Championship
Florida Oranges @ Great Plains Revolution (c)

United States Championship
Portland Hipsters @ Coburns (c)

Larkin-Downing and Heavyweight Championships
New World Symphony @ Oklahoma City Bombers (c)

# ? Jan 26, 2014 21:17

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 15:17

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

Gotta use this banner while I still can.

Pick 'em: all champs retain.

FairGame posted:

PICK 'EM UPDATE

Captain Yesterday, you might not know Greg Gross from Rex Grossman, but you are pretty good at Pick 'Em!

1.) Captain Yesterday, 14 pts
1.) The Goog, 14 points
3.) CFBalla, 1 point back
3.) Mr. Locke, 1 point back
5.) CVS, 2 points back
5.) Monicro, 2 points back
5.) The Flying Llama, 2 points back

FairGame, you missed my week 2 pick 'em: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3499603&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=370#post424859530

# ? Jan 26, 2014 22:01

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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