Let's wallow in the mediocrity of sub-par art - Podcasts about bad movies

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Rapidly Going Deaf > Let's wallow in the mediocrity of sub-par art - Podcasts about bad movies

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Dr. Lariat: Jul 1, 2004; by Lowtax

MadScientistWorking posted:

I think some of the best material the We Hate Movies people have done is on Blame it On Outer Space. For some reason I find the crews humor much more entertaining on that show.

Any episode suggestions? I listened to war on xmas and Denver airport and although a big fan of We Hate Movies, I was not too huge on what I had heard.

# ? Jan 23, 2014 11:45

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# ? May 14, 2024 07:41

MadScientistWorking: Jun 23, 2010; "I was going through a time period where I was looking up weird stories involving necrophilia..."

Dr. Lariat posted:

Any episode suggestions? I listened to war on xmas and Denver airport and although a big fan of We Hate Movies, I was not too huge on what I had heard.

The ones where the conspiracy just gets to be incredibly insane are some of the better ones. The Montauk Project and Krampus are two of the better ones.

# ? Jan 23, 2014 14:15

Drunkboxer: Jun 30, 2007

The Nazi UFO one has James Adomian kinda out of nowhere, doing his Jesse Ventura

# ? Jan 23, 2014 15:05

Random Stranger: Nov 27, 2009

Vakal posted:

Last Action Hero is one of those movies that gets labeled as the worst movie ever made when first released, but gets slightly better in retrospect every time a newer, even shittier movie is released.

The Last Action Hero is one of those films that I think of as being 75% of the way to a good movie. There's a lot of good stuff in it like Arnold parodying himself. Unfortunately other aspects of the film drag it down. The humor only works about half the time which makes me suspect that of the army of screenwriters that worked on the movie, one of the earliest was a genuinely funny guy and one of the last was a dull hack who tried to punch things up.

# ? Jan 23, 2014 15:08

Illinois Smith: Nov 15, 2003; Ninety-one? There are ninety other "Tiger Drivers"? Do any involve actual tigers, or driving?

If you listen to Patton Oswalt's tales of punch-up sessions for lovely movies it's probably the other way around.

# ? Jan 23, 2014 16:37

Call Me Charlie: Dec 3, 2005; by Smythe

Illinois Smith posted:

If you listen to Patton Oswalt's tales of punch-up sessions for lovely movies it's probably the other way around.

Actually, Last Action Hero is the classic hollywood story of a studio buying something good and passing it off to so many writers that they completely ruin what made it attractive in the first place.

quote:

Penn and Adam Leff, two young graduates of Connecticut�s Wesleyan University, loved action movies. So in 1991 they decided to write an ambitious script, titled Extremely Violent, which would work both as a deconstruction of the genre and a kick-rear end romp in its own right. �The basic idea was: wouldn�t it be cool if a kid got sucked into a silly action movie and used his knowledge of the genre to subvert all the clich�s?� explains Penn. �We dubbed it Reverse Purple Rose after we realised it was the opposite of Woody Allen�s Purple Rose Of Cairo, where a character comes out of the screen into the real world.� For research, the pair visited their local videostore. �We rented every action movie we could think of and made a checklist. Does the second-most evil bad guy die before or after the most evil bad guy? Does the hero have a Vietnam buddy? It was fun, although watching Steven Seagal movies one after another can be soul-crushing.� Extremely Violent, which can be found online, lives up to its name. In the opening sequence, invincible cop Arno Slater takes on a horde of hitmen in LA�s Beverly Center, blowing them away with a laser-sighted hand-cannon while merrily dispensing one-liners such as, �Shopping can be hell.� The twist is, all this is revealed to be a trailer for a movie within the movie. Later, after the teenage hero has been yanked into the actual film, he uses his knowledge of the story�s beats to help Arno through the mayhem.

The script found a champion in Chris Moore, now a producer of such films as The Adjustment Bureau and the American Pie series, but back in 1991 an up-and-coming agent. �I saw it as a modern-day Wizard Of Oz,� Moore recalls. �The kid has a problem with his family. His father has left and he�s not getting on with his mom. And instead of getting whisked away to Oz, he does what most kids today would want to do, which is to escape into a movie.� He wasn�t the only fan. Penn and Leff watched agog as a bidding war unfolded, with Sony-operated studio Columbia Pictures ultimately prevailing by plonking down $350,000. More miraculous still, it attracted the attention of the star who had inspired Arno Slater in the first place: Arnold Schwarzenegger. �We never thought we�d actually get Arnold,� says Penn. �We were just two guys sitting in my apartment, thinking maybe someone would read it and get the reference. When we heard he wanted to do it, Adam and I looked at each other like, �This is insane.��

It seemed their dream was coming true. But it was about to curdle into a nightmare. Hot off the success of Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Schwarzenegger was in no hurry to make a commitment. As well as Extremely Violent, he was considering a family comedy called Sweet Tooth, in which he would play the tooth fairy. Columbia top brass, desperate to bag the world�s biggest star, met with Schwarzenegger at his Santa Monica restaurant, Schatzi, where he puffed on a Romeo y Julieta Cuban cigar, sipped schnapps and explained that while he loved the concept � �Having a kid come into a movie awakens certain fantasies I had as a kid in Austria, like sitting on a horse with John Wayne� � the script wasn�t �executed professionally�. He also had concerns about Extremely Violent�s extreme violence.

To their dismay, Penn and Leff were swiftly dismissed from the project. Then, at Schwarzenegger�s suggestion, Columbia called in Hollywood�s hottest scribe. Shane Black�s first script, Lethal Weapon, had launched a lucrative franchise; his latest, The Last Boy Scout, had netted him an incredible $1.75 million. He also had history with Schwarzenegger, having played a commando alongside him in Predator. �The irony is that we�d gone to the MPAA library and read all of Shane�s scripts,� says Penn. �We were big fans of his � he was the Elmore Leonard of action movies. So it was this surreal moment of, �We�re parodying this guy, and now he�s been hired to rewrite us.� It was just a strange, strange occurrence.�

To Black, who took a break from Iron Man 3 pre-production to talk to Empire for this article, it looked like easy work. �Me and my partner, David Arnott, were to take this very small script, where not a lot happens, and beef it up into a summer movie, with a lot of set-ups and pay-offs and reversals. Zak seemed to think that we ruined his script, but I was actually quite fond of what we came up with. We had a silly gag where Slater reaches up, grabs a scratch on the film and stabs a villain with it. I know Columbia told us at the time that they were very happy with it. But then, abruptly, things changed.� Black attributes the sudden chill to the hiring of John McTiernan, the man behind action classics Die Hard and Predator, as director. �McTiernan had made a lot of hits, so the studio said, �Let him do what he wants.� And we watched as John rewrote the whole thing. I have a lot of fondness for John. He�s an interesting guy with a lot to say. He just wasn�t keen on the things we�d written.� Watching from the sidelines, the original writers became more and more anxious. �We always thought it would be someone like Robert Zemeckis or John Landis directing,� says Penn. �Someone with a history of pulling genres apart. I like Shane and I like John McTiernan � I wouldn�t have watched all their movies so many times if I didn�t. But I do think it�s easier for someone from the outside to mock the conventions of action movies than it is for the people who created them in the first place.�

Stress levels were rising fast on the project now called Last Action Hero, with Penn alleging that Black hung up on him during a phone call and Schwarzenegger still unhappy with the story. Before long, Black and Arnott were themselves fired and the increasingly choppy script sent to legendary writer William Goldman, who was paid an eye-watering $1 million for four weeks� work. �Back in those days, that kind of thing was an insurance policy for keeping your job at an executive level,� says Black. �A script would be questionable and the trembling executive would give it to a famous writer with a million bucks, so he could say, �Yeah, it�s fortified now. We�ve given it vitamins. Wait, wait, wait... It needs the woman�s touch. Give it to Carrie Fisher!� It just made people breathe easier, throwing money at this enormous behemoth. Even if the movie sucked, now they could say, �It�s not our fault.��

As well as Fisher and Goldman, several other script doctors, including The Hunt For Red October�s Larry Ferguson, made nips and tucks. The projectionist of Danny�s favourite cinema went from demonic villain to kindly old man; a scene in which dozens of iconic movie villains invade the real world was added, then deleted; even Slater�s forename changed from Arno to Jack. Also new was a climactic premiere set-piece, where Slater � having escaped from his movie Jack Slater IV � would meet the real Schwarzenegger, the star sending himself up as a nitwit who won�t stop plugging Planet Hollywood. But the more money Columbia threw at the script, the more problematic it became. Late one night, a desperate McTiernan called Black, asking him to take a look at the action sequences. �I declined,� says Black. �We�d been fired and now they wanted us to fix up the explosions and helicopter scenes? I considered it an insult to my professional pride.�

http://www.empireonline.com/features/last-action-hero

# ? Jan 23, 2014 19:53

weekly font: Dec 1, 2004; Everytime I try to fly I fall
Without my wings
I feel so small
Guess I need you baby...

I try to get into Blame it On Outer Space but Eric is way too low key to be a host. Also the episode with the guy doing the terrible Jesse Ventura impression for the ENTIRE. EPISODE. made me give up.

# ? Jan 23, 2014 20:51

Rotten Red Rod: Mar 5, 2002

Illinois Smith posted:

If you listen to Patton Oswalt's tales of punch-up sessions for lovely movies it's probably the other way around.

Where can I find these?

Call Me Charlie posted:

Actually, Last Action Hero is the classic hollywood story of a studio buying something good and passing it off to so many writers that they completely ruin what made it attractive in the first place.

http://www.empireonline.com/features/last-action-hero

Wow, that explains so much. I'd like to have seen the original version.

# ? Jan 23, 2014 21:32

Evil Mastermind: Apr 28, 2008

Rotten Red Rod posted:

Where can I find these?

It's on his "Werewolves and Cheeseburgers" CD.

quote:

Wow, that explains so much. I'd like to have seen the original version.

Me too; is the "Extreme Violence" script still available online? I can't find it.

# ? Jan 23, 2014 22:55

Illinois Smith: Nov 15, 2003; Ninety-one? There are ninety other "Tiger Drivers"? Do any involve actual tigers, or driving?

That article is a great read about Hollywood at its dumbest ... And then at the end it claims that, nevertheless, LAH still blazed a trail for Hot Fuzz. What?

# ? Jan 24, 2014 03:29

MinionOfCthulhu: Oct 28, 2005; I got this title for free due to my proximity to an idiot who wanted to save $5 on an avatar by having someone else spend $9.95 instead.

WampaLord posted:

Jack Frost was an amazing episode. Dan Harmon was hysterical, as expected. I loved his whole "Writer projecting" theory, I was dying laughing.

I'm trying to get into We Hate Movies, but it just doesn't seem as fun as HDTGM. They don't seem like friends, they don't laugh at each other's jokes, etc

This is honestly surprising to me, enough so that I'm going to listen to the Jingle All The Way episode again and see if it was just off. Part of the reason why I like WHM so much is because of the chemistry. They laugh at each other's jokes constantly, riff off (and on) each other, and so on.

# ? Jan 25, 2014 22:47

OldTennisCourt: Sep 11, 2011; by VideoGames

MinionOfCthulhu posted:

This is honestly surprising to me, enough so that I'm going to listen to the Jingle All The Way episode again and see if it was just off. Part of the reason why I like WHM so much is because of the chemistry. They laugh at each other's jokes constantly, riff off (and on) each other, and so on.

Yeah, I don't get that issue at all. They seem like pretty obvious best buds.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 00:22

Vakal: May 11, 2008

OldTennisCourt posted:

Yeah, I don't get that issue at all. They seem like pretty obvious best buds.

I think any movie with Jim Belushi in it evokes enough venom that I can understand how a casual listener would think that they despise each other.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 03:30

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

Kim Cardassian.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 04:03

OldTennisCourt: Sep 11, 2011; by VideoGames

Vakal posted:

I think any movie with Jim Belushi in it evokes enough venom that I can understand how a casual listener would think that they despise each other.

Has Belushi ever been good in a movie? Not IN a good movie, but actually giving a good performance.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 04:51

Calaveron: Aug 7, 2006

OldTennisCourt posted:

Yeah, I don't get that issue at all. They seem like pretty obvious best buds.

Seriously. Andrew is always laughing at Eric's jokes. All four of them are pretty obviously good buds.

# ? Jan 26, 2014 09:01

KICK BAMA KICK: Mar 2, 2009

Which WHM has the riff on "Muldoon's"?

# ? Jan 27, 2014 02:14

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

KICK BAMA KICK posted:

Which WHM has the riff on "Muldoon's"?

Halloween 3

# ? Jan 27, 2014 02:20

Politicalrancor: Jan 29, 2008

OldTennisCourt posted:

Has Belushi ever been good in a movie? Not IN a good movie, but actually giving a good performance.

gently caress you, K-9

# ? Jan 27, 2014 06:13

MadScientistWorking: Jun 23, 2010; "I was going through a time period where I was looking up weird stories involving necrophilia..."

I have to say June on How Did This Get Made really sells the podcast. I think her best line so far is,"So tell me again. What exactly is a street fighter?"

# ? Jan 27, 2014 20:20

DrManiac: Feb 29, 2012

MadScientistWorking posted:

I have to say June on How Did This Get Made really sells the podcast. I think her best line so far is,"So tell me again. What exactly is a street fighter?"

I love it when we get to hear about how she freaks the gently caress out when watching movies like when she saw the snowman in jack frost.

# ? Jan 27, 2014 22:06

davidHalestorm: Aug 5, 2009

The next movie is going to be Mortal Kombat for HDTGM, so look forward to the "What exactly is a Kombatan?" questions

# ? Jan 28, 2014 08:21

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

I legitimately want to know what IS a Goro?

# ? Jan 28, 2014 08:40

MadScientistWorking: Jun 23, 2010; "I was going through a time period where I was looking up weird stories involving necrophilia..."

davidHalestorm posted:

The next movie is going to be Mortal Kombat for HDTGM, so look forward to the "What exactly is a Kombatan?" questions

Five minutes in and June tops her Street Fighter coments.

# ? Jan 28, 2014 19:10

Popelmon: Jan 24, 2010; wow
so spin

davidHalestorm posted:

The next movie is going to be Mortal Kombat for HDTGM, so look forward to the "What exactly is a Kombatan?" questions

Even better. She didn't know the movie was based on a video game :v:

# ? Jan 28, 2014 19:11

cams: Mar 28, 2003

As a huge nerd, really my only problem with this episode was Paul's repeated butchered pronunciation of "Shang Tsung".

# ? Jan 28, 2014 19:12

Irish Joe: Jul 23, 2007; by Lowtax

How do you grow up in the 80s and 90s and never go to an arcade? I'm June's age and I lived in arcades and knew the location of every arcade game in a 20 mile radius :iiam:

# ? Jan 28, 2014 20:46

Gyges: Aug 4, 2004; NOW NO ONE
RECOGNIZE HULK

Irish Joe posted:

How do you grow up in the 80s and 90s and never go to an arcade? I'm June's age and I lived in arcades and knew the location of every arcade game in a 20 mile radius

So you're saying you knew what a Street Fighter was?

# ? Jan 28, 2014 20:50

Mob: May 7, 2002; Me reading your posts

It seemed like Paul was playing down his MK knowledge. The man had an Over The Top playset, I know he's got to know Sub-Zero's drat name.

# ? Jan 28, 2014 21:46

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

Mob posted:

It seemed like Paul was playing down his MK knowledge. The man had an Over The Top playset, I know he's got to know Sub-Zero's drat name.

Because if the words Noob Saibot ever passed his lips he would immediately be served with divorce papers.

# ? Jan 28, 2014 21:50

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Al! posted:

Because if the words Noob Saibot ever passed his lips he would immediately be served with divorce papers.

Seriously have you seen him and June? Bro's gotta play the Mortal Kombat knowledge close to the chest.

Also man what a great episode, June may actually be a secret old lady with her love of Pinball and Skiball rather than video games.

# ? Jan 28, 2014 21:52

GraPar: Jun 2, 2011

I would happily listen to a podcast/watch a show that was just about Paul & June: they seem like such a bizarre couple + it's so funny to me that you could easily listen to several episodes of HDTGM and never suspect that they're together. Wikipedia tells me that they got married in the Santa Barbara Museum Of Natural History and that Paul's best man was a Jack Nicholson impersonator.

# ? Jan 28, 2014 23:27

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

GraPar posted:

I would happily listen to a podcast/watch a show that was just about Paul & June: they seem like such a bizarre couple + it's so funny to me that you could easily listen to several episodes of HDTGM and never suspect that they're together.

I love whatever guest that brought that up. He was like "You know that you two are married, right? You sound so formal when you talk to each other!"

# ? Jan 28, 2014 23:34

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

Tatum Girlparts posted:

Seriously have you seen him and June? Bro's gotta play the Mortal Kombat knowledge close to the chest.

Would you describe Paul as a gnome or is he more of a homunculus?

# ? Jan 28, 2014 23:52

The Berzerker: Feb 24, 2006; treat me like a dog

cams posted:

As a huge nerd, really my only problem with this episode was Paul's repeated butchered pronunciation of "Shang Tsung".

I recently re-listened to the Speed 2 episode and he also can't pronounce Willem, as in Willem Dafoe, so don't get too bent out of shape about it.

# ? Jan 29, 2014 02:16

WerthersWay: Jul 21, 2009

I love how Jason Mantzoukous hosts a movie podcast but it isn't until today that he casually mentions he co-wrote the #1 movie in America the last two weeks.

# ? Jan 29, 2014 03:07

Illinois Smith: Nov 15, 2003; Ninety-one? There are ninety other "Tiger Drivers"? Do any involve actual tigers, or driving?

He probably pimped it tirelessly on his twitter account so he thought mentioning it on the podcast would be redundant.

# ? Jan 29, 2014 08:38

davidHalestorm: Aug 5, 2009

WampaLord posted:

I love whatever guest that brought that up. He was like "You know that you two are married, right? You sound so formal when you talk to each other!"

That was Paul F. Tompkins. There's also the fact that June's twitter handle is @MsJuneDiane for extra confusion.

# ? Jan 29, 2014 09:16

The REAL Goobusters: Apr 25, 2008

Illinois Smith posted:

He probably pimped it tirelessly on his twitter account so he thought mentioning it on the podcast would be redundant.

He doesn't have a twitter account.

# ? Jan 29, 2014 09:28

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# ? May 14, 2024 07:41

Illinois Smith: Nov 15, 2003; Ninety-one? There are ninety other "Tiger Drivers"? Do any involve actual tigers, or driving?

Jokes. You get jokes.

# ? Jan 29, 2014 09:30

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Rapidly Going Deaf > Let's wallow in the mediocrity of sub-par art - Podcasts about bad movies

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