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Inspector Zenigata fucked around with this message at 22:52 on Apr 2, 2014 |
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Feb 5, 2014 05:28
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quote:The four armed dragon picked up a surprisingly appropriately sized phone out of nowhere, all the while carrying a crystal ball, "You have reached Swami Parallaxus, fortune teller who can tell you your future, your present, your past, your past that was retconned in, your past that occurred in an Elseworlds, your past that has been rendered no longer in continuit- Huh, she hanged up."
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Feb 5, 2014 06:12
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Gen. Ripper posted:^most offensive part of that whole thing in bold right there The next line with "stated" is possibly worse. "Stated" sounds awkward when used with direct quotes; it's meant to be used with paraphrases. For example, "Barbara stated 'Jake was with me the day of the murder'" doesn't sound right, but "Barbara stated that Jake was with her the day of the murder" works. It's not a rule you normally think about consciously, but when it's broken you notice immediately that the sentence is going 'clunk' - unless, of course, your perception of how English flows has been skewed by years of anime fansubs.
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Feb 5, 2014 06:41
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quote:I was thinking of a TGWTG x Devil Survivor crossover.
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Feb 5, 2014 06:49
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Gen. Ripper posted:^most offensive part of that whole thing in bold right there Hmmm, this sound familiar. 
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Feb 5, 2014 06:51
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Lottery of Babylon posted:The next line with "stated" is possibly worse. "Stated" sounds awkward when used with direct quotes; it's meant to be used with paraphrases. For example, "Barbara stated 'Jake was with me the day of the murder'" doesn't sound right, but "Barbara stated that Jake was with her the day of the murder" works. It's a rule of thumb that you just use "said" for dialog unless you know what you're doing by not using it. Obviously this guy hasn't heard of that rule. But if you want to pick on Troper's choice of language in their writing then we could be at it all day. My favorite is in that block is "surprisingly appropriately". Besides how adverbs should be avoided, "surprisingly" is one of the worst words in the English language. Is it surprising? Then you don't need to tell the reader that an action was surprising. And what is "appropriately"? Putting the two of them together multiplies the problems. Also, Bilbo didn't wear shoes which makes that a terrible metaphor to use.
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Feb 5, 2014 06:52
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I am the M00N posted:Edit: Because it was such an important topic for several pages,I have now ordered a copy of 1984 and can't wait to read it. I was also considering getting a copy of A Clockwork Orange, but have no clue what it is actually about. A Clockwork Orange is about a terrible future where teenagers run around in violent uncontrollable gangs. It's a nightmare about hippies transforming into anarchist thugs, and the even more horrific measures the government takes against them. It was a 1984 for the 1960s, based on fears of the Cold War and declining morality among youth. I recommend reading the book and watching the movie, but if you only have time for one to choose the movie.
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Feb 5, 2014 07:00
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Random Stranger posted:It's a rule of thumb that you just use "said" for dialog unless you know what you're doing by not using it. Obviously this guy hasn't heard of that rule.  There is actually a trope about this!http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SaidBookism Naturally they never apply it to themselves, because tropers.
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Feb 5, 2014 07:06
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Gen. Ripper posted:^most offensive part of that whole thing in bold right there "Hanged" is one of the most annoying words I come across whenever I hate myself enough to look at bad writing. There is only one place where "hanged" should be used, and that's in relation to lynching. Hung just sounds better in literally every other situation. Sneaked is another frustrating one, but snuck isn't a word, so I can't complain about improper grammar or poor word choice. The biggest problem that troper writers have is the lack of editing. They produce word vomit and are so excited when they finish that they post it to receive immediate praise. If I had written that first passage, it would have been number one on my "fix this poo poo fast" list. The second passage about the telephone dragon, I would have just deleted the entire paragraph, closed the word processor, and crawled into the corner to weep.
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Feb 5, 2014 07:19
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I can only assume that the second paragraph came from someone who is, like, twelve. If they are older, they should be hanged from the neck until dead. Also why isn't snuck a word? I keep hearing/seeing it, so by now I'd say it is a word because this isn't 19th century England.
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Feb 5, 2014 07:43
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Gen. Ripper posted:
They nicked it from the Turkey City Lexicon. There's no way they'd come up with a piece of sensible stylistic advice on their own; 'style' doesn't come under the heading of 'tropes', and therefore doesn't exist. It's probably only there because the Turkey City Lexicon includes some stuff that could be seen as referring to tropes, and they're nothing if not completists.
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Feb 5, 2014 08:29
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Lottery of Babylon posted:The next line with "stated" is possibly worse. "Stated" sounds awkward when used with direct quotes; it's meant to be used with paraphrases. For example, "Barbara stated 'Jake was with me the day of the murder'" doesn't sound right, but "Barbara stated that Jake was with her the day of the murder" works. I wonder if the writer is non native speaker. It's strange, I'm non native and even I noticed that there was something off on that sentence. The description of "clunk" is very acurate. Thanks for explaining, because otherwise my thought would have been that it didn't work because it was so obvious that the writer wanted to make this character a character from Buffy/Angel/Firefly. quote:Her thoughts crystallize, cold and diamond-sharp through the murk of terror, driven by some frozen catalyst; they take Geda with them like a shipwreck survivor on a rushing arctic floe, racing through probabilities and outcomes. Geda blinks, once, and when she looks anew into the battle’s press there is clarity in her eyes and ice in her heart. Someone just saw Frozen? I have absolutely no idea what he's trying to convey here. Up to sharp it's ok, but then it loses me completely. Doctor Octopus must be jealous, there's cold fusion in this persons head.  Apple Tree posted:They nicked it from the Turkey City Lexicon. There's no way they'd come up with a piece of sensible stylistic advice on their own; 'style' doesn't come under the heading of 'tropes', and therefore doesn't exist. It's probably only there because the Turkey City Lexicon includes some stuff that could be seen as referring to tropes, and they're nothing if not completists. It's actually one of their better articles if you didn't know about said yet. Believe it or not, but I learned about it from them. To bad they didn't read it themselves.
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Feb 5, 2014 08:47
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On the subject of bad writing, you have to look up some of the stuff on the Trope Page for Author Vocabulary Calender.quote:Christopher Paolini has this habit when he writes: characters, many of whom do not have any sort of formal education (or are even downright illiterate), strangely have college level vocabularies, even when their status or profession would have them calling something differently. In text, he'll often pull a 25 point word from nowhere because, while he could have used several smaller words, or different ones altogether, he just had to use that big one, even if it chunks up the sentence, ruins the flow, and really has no place being there among such other common words. You hear that guys? Using one word in favor of several small ones breaks up the narrative flow. Now, Christopher Paolini is a pretty awful writer, but honestly, I'd rather have one word sum up a situation than a million little ones that Tropers love to fill up their word quota.
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Feb 5, 2014 09:14
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The Leper Colon V posted:
This is a fantastic metaphor. It sums up the whole 'message' thing perfectly. And of course Tropers need many things shoved up their asses. Khazar-khum fucked around with this message at 09:17 on Feb 5, 2014 |
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Feb 5, 2014 09:15
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here's something from the villain critique thread so please try to critique it without being rude, guysquote:Name: Sylvia Blaze.
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Feb 5, 2014 09:37
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"Thinking of character motivations is hard, but here's a list of some Tropes. Are these good Tropes, guys, or should I keep looking?"
Alpacalips Now fucked around with this message at 09:46 on Feb 5, 2014 |
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Feb 5, 2014 09:43
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Inspector Zenigata fucked around with this message at 22:52 on Apr 2, 2014 |
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Feb 5, 2014 09:45
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Tropes are jenga blocks. The higher they go, the quicker they topple.
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Feb 5, 2014 09:51
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Inspector Zenigata fucked around with this message at 22:51 on Apr 2, 2014 |
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Feb 5, 2014 09:58
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Inspector Zenigata posted:I hope you mean keep looking for more tropes, because as we all know the more tropes you can stack on top of one another, the better your story's architecture will be. Don't forget to reshuffle them so you're totally Original! crowfeathers posted:here's something from the villain critique thread so please try to critique it without being rude, guys How is she a villain? Can we make joke about her being a horny devil while she can use her tongue (I'm happy the writer saw fit to mention that specifically) to set fire to things? Or is that rude?  edit: Inspector Zenigata posted:Looks like you've got a lot to learn about writing, mister. The more extraneous and unwieldy character traits, plot contrivances, unbreakable arbitrary rules and video game mechanics you can force together and glue a few cogs onto (you know, for good measure) the better. How will the story be engaging if you don't know whether your protagonist is a Big Eater or Cigar Chomper? What if the reader doesn't know the minutia of the health potion system, the DPS of the characters? And what about the fact that in this world, all demons are 1000 years old but look like scantily-clad nine year olds? Why, you'd be in a pickle for sure! Stop being rude to him! 
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Feb 5, 2014 09:59
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you know what's fun? unkillable villainsquote:Name: Justin Henderson / "Cyber-Matthew" (do not call him the latter if you value your life) i'll spare you the literal pages of tropes listed for this character
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Feb 5, 2014 10:03
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crowfeathers posted:Age: Unknown These character descriptions always read like episode 3 of Supreme Mageknight Yuukisama just aired and they just ran to write up a character bio of a newly-introduced character. "Motivation: unknown. Backstory: unknown. Weapon: fireball. Allegiance: unknown. Hair: white. Mysterious: yes." They're not what an author comes up with when designing a character, and they're far less than the author ought to know about the character, and they'e certainly no basis for asking for a critique. They're more like what the audience sees when they first glimpse the character. It's like they don't get that being a writer and being a reader are two very different experiences and processes. (Tropers are bad at both roles.)
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Feb 5, 2014 10:07
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Inspector Zenigata fucked around with this message at 22:53 on Apr 2, 2014 |
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Feb 5, 2014 10:08
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Would it have killed this guy to throw in a few sentences about Cyber-Matthew's relationship to the protagonist? If nothing else, we'd have more poorly-built sentences to mock. Never mind, he did, but hid it beneath a mound of lame angst and technobabble. Alpacalips Now fucked around with this message at 10:25 on Feb 5, 2014 |
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Feb 5, 2014 10:09
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Alpacalips Now posted:Would it have killed this guy to throw in a few sentences about Cyber-Matthew's relationship to the protagonist? If nothing else, we'd have more poorly-built sentences to mock. Goals: Goal Number 1 is Die. He wants revenge on Elijah's faction, Gibbs himself, and anyone who sided with him or abetted him. He also desires revenge against "the monster", even being willing to fight harder for this. Who this is, exactly, is left ambiguous. Otherwise, in order to force people's hands, he takes on a number of false goals, which at one point included trying to hurl a nuke at six major American cities, and using his nanites to create a flesh-to-metal plague, as well as more generic "take over the world" and "ransom the populace of City X" schemes, purely to draw violence toward himself. Motivation: Gavin's speech, the loss of all of his friends, and all the trauma of his faulty memories coming back full force after that. Role in the story: His role changes a lot between stories. He's The Cameo in Book I, a heroic wannabe in the first act of II and a Tragic Monster in the last act upon his resurrection, in III he is Hector's Dragon on the condition he gets wished to death it doesn't work, and in IV, he becomes part of the Enemy Mine group. Backstory: In hindsight, it is pretty amazing he did not break sooner. He came from a largely abusive family, his mother had married his father by simply mind controlling the poor bastard, wanting him only for his looks, and thinking he'd love her back if she made it known she could at any time simply control him again. That alone says what kind of person his mother was. He often described her as his motivation to become a hero, if only to eventually defeat her. His father viewed him more as a disgusting "it" than as a son, even referring to him as "that thing". He was enrolled in a religious school, presided over by our old friend Elijah Gibbs. There, a lot of really bad stuff happened, including bullying that lead to him almost falling off a building, being beaten so badly that he got a compound fracture at one point, and an attempted molestation of Justin by one of the priests, while people walked on and did not even look at him or pay him any mind. When he tried to tell people, he was accused of lying and slandering a man of God, and that he should "accept everything God gives him". And when he tried to take the story to police, Elijah covered everything up. However, thankfully, after he managed to graduate, he moved in with some friends, took a ride away from town, and has since never spoken to his parents again. Those friends turned out to be the very group of heroic wannabes we see him with in II. They discovered magic at some point, though the Masquerade was never in place for Justin due to his circumstances. Even though Justin's school was not well acknowledged, they all managed to get into a good college together to study while doing their heroics. Things were looking up for them... Relevant Tropes: Adaptive Ability And I Must Scream / Human Resources: Oh, you thought that the Iron Armada wasn't scary enough yet? Wait until he starts plugging dead or dying Magic God Potentials into them, bringing them back to life only to serve as living power batteries. When they run out, a haggard, 100 year old looking corpse is dumped out and some other unfortunate is placed in. And then he figures out how to do this to normal people, and drain their very potent Soul Mana. Yeesh. Antagonist Abilities: His robotic helpers do everything from drain local Mana to give to him, to shooting Beam Spam at foes, to outright laser shanking people if they're too weakened. Ax-Crazy: At one point, he rips a random grave open, hallucinates that the dead are trying to drag him down, and he has an episode of rage resulting in him ripping the corpse in the ground to pieces, and causing Scenery Gorn. This is hardly the craziest he's gone. Back from the Dead: Enough energy pumped in will give his systems the impetus to revive him. He's always extremely displeased. Badass In Charge: Of a large number of robotic or cybernetic minions, at last count they included the Eradicators, the Slayers, The Silver Crusade, The Iron Armada, and the Gray Sentries. The Berserker: He fights with utterly no regard for his own continued health, as he does want to die. Berserker Tears: When he sees his mother and his once again brainwashed father acting like a loving couple, he abandons his plan and goes ahead to try to kill them while screaming and crying. Brainwashed and Crazy: His nanites can do this to people, and they actually have, resulting in the Gray Sentries, a group of maniacally murderous cyborgs who try to kill as many people as possible before they themselves die. Break the Cutie: He was pretty thoroughly broken before, and now he's well past the Despair Event Horizon. Bullying The Dragon: It was really, really not smart for Corrupt Corporate Executive Mr. Lindsey to expect that Justin - a former Ephas enforcer who believed in the Eat the Rich philosophy Gibbs spoke of - would keep to his word and only attack certain areas of the Los Angeles. It was even less smart to repeatedly make fun of his cybernetic appearance and resemblance to Matthew. Predictably, it ended poorly. Create Your Own Villain: He thinks this is what happened between him and Matthew. In reality, Matthew had nothing to do with the circumstances that turned him into a cyborg, having been held off from intervening. If he had been able to, he would've interfered. Creepy Monotone: A lot of the time. While he sounds human a lot, when he's ready to be someone's Nightmare Fuel, he talks in a manner like this, rather like Hal-9000. Curb-Stomp Battle: He does this a lot, either to Sharon's Fake Heroes, or Hector's group's elite guard before he was accepted as The Dragon. The latter was more of a test, though. One scene sure to make people cheer was his encounter with Gavin - even though his Glass Cannon status was still on, he beat the crap out of Gavin, who had seemed like some sort of evil Batman up until then. Granted, he got away, but it was impressive. Cybernetics Eat Your Soul: Much to his displeasure, they don't - his soul is perfectly intact, and can be used to revive him again and again. Cyborg: As a product of We Can Rebuild Him, he is a Nigh Invulnerable Cyborg with Killer Robot "programming". Dangerously Genre Savvy: Having once been a hero, he knows the ins and the outs. Particularly, he gets exasperated with Ephas mooks when they declare someone dead after they shoot his plane down. "If you cannot show me his body, he is not dead. Get to it!" He also prefers to not hold anything back during a fight. Dark and Troubled Past: Oh so much, just read his motivation and backstory. Death Seeker: He lists the sheer number of things people tried on him, and its just mind-boggling; "I have been ripped to pieces, disemboweled, my head has been torn off, my brain has been crushed, I have been thrown into a trash compacter, I have been melted, shattered, frozen, broken and flayed. None of that worked. I've even been thrown through a black hole, used as a human missile through a gas giant, and most recently teleported into the heart of a Supernova. As you can see, none of that worked either. I want to die. I will keep killing - kill me if you can." Demonic Possession: Explicitly likened to this is his most terrifying power - he can use his nanites to create a biotechnological chip in a person's brain, and then seize control of them, imposing his own personality over theirs. Despair Event Horizon: The event that convinced him that there was utterly no meaning in the world was the aforementioned incident wherein Gavin murdered all of his friends before giving him a nasty reason you suck speech, and including making him think his girlfriend was "dead as a doornail" when her Spell Core allowed her to survive. Compounding it was everyone's reaction to his new form as "The Cyber-Matthew". The Dragon: To Hector. As well as being the only person it seems Hector really respects. He has a Dragon as well, in his immediate lieutenant, another cyborg called Grant who relays his orders to his various groups. The Dreaded: To just about everyone past a certain point. With the Masquerade gone and knowledge of his actions widespread, mentioning he is coming is a good way to incite a Mass "Oh, Crap!". Makes sense, given the number of times he's tried to use nukes. Eat the Rich: He really got into Hector's Eat / Kill The Rich idea. As in, he created a group of terrifying cyborgs called the Eradication Corps, who were basically a death squad. He even targets Los Angeles due to the large number of affluent neighborhoods, using an airship filled with firebombs, missiles and the most Eradicators seen since their formation. Tellingly as to how well he took to this, even after Hector's defeat and Heel-Face Turn, he kept pursuing this sort of ideal amidst his other goals. Including setting a Hate Plague loose on a vacation spot in Brazil. Energy Absorption: Not on the same level as Aaron Shayde, but its definitely substantial and makes taking him down even more of a chore. While it is possible to overload it to do more damage, that'd take a lot of energy. Even Evil Has Standards: When he discovered his science was being used by the Anti-Magical Faction to turn people into abominable, emotionless, similarly powered monsters called The Highmasters, even Justin was revolted, and decided to put an end to that. He is aware how hypocritical it is, its mostly the removal of emotion that bothered him. Evil Genius / Mad Scientist: Mad and Ax-Crazy, sure. Stupid? Not a chance. He creates all the machines and weapons his officers and units use, as well as being, most often, the guy in the Villain Team-Up who builds the base and any utility robots. Fallen Hero Genius Bruiser: Hits really, really hard, but don't think for a moment he's stupid. He is very capable of combining capable scheming with deadly brute force. Glass Cannon: At first; he can deal a lot of damage in his first appearance post-Rebuilding, but since he hadn't adapted much, his cybernetic limbs, while insanely strong, fell apart quickly and needed his technopathic abilities to rebuild them again. As he adapts, he becomes a much more powerful Lightning Bruiser. Green Lantern Ring: The gist of his Hard Light ability. Hand Blast The Heavy: In Book III; As Hector's Dragon and immediate lieutenant, he is the most dangerous person on the villainous team, and has the most credentials when it comes to actually fighting. He also kills the most people, and is regarded as the biggest threat. Hero Killer: Not like he likes being this way, but its pretty evident in how people react to news he has showed up. He has tried to nuke numerous cities, he's unleashed a flesh-destroying plague, and he's dreaded as would make sense for such a villain. Immune to Bullets: Best exemplified in this quote; The person Damien thought was just someone barely younger than himself gripped Damien's police issued hand gun suddenly, and no amount of prying would get that hand off. It was like trying to pry off a mechanical vice. The young man drew the weapon, aimed it at his own head and emptied the chambers into himself. Each bullet fell down to the ground, flattened. Justin Henderson stated in a dead, dry as bone tone, "Shoot me with something better." I Cannot Self-Terminate: he has tried a few times, including eating his Viseilian Mana Blaster. And it never works. It's Personal: With Elijah, for the cover ups, and helping Sharon, among other legitimate grievances. A lot of the heroic cast also feels he is a deeply personal villain due to the sheer number of things he's done, and how many times he's come back from the dead. Killer Robot: He possesses a whole Terminator style army of them. Knight of Cerebus: Want a New Dawn story to be dark? This guy's very appearance brings the Nightmare Fuel, let alone what he does once he shows up. Laser Blade: He can create ones out of his palms. The Man Behind the Man and The Man Behind The Monsters: To next to any robotic or cybernetic looking villains. Mass "Oh, Crap!": A previously light hearted adventure about vacation and such was put to an end so to speak when his airship showed up. Literally everyone in the room freaked out. The Mentally Ill: He hallucinates, he cannot remember things in the order and fashion in which they happened, he reacts very violently to even remotely antagonistic stimuli, his mood swings wildly. All that, and he sees his girlfriend as a walking, talking rotting corpse. Mook Maker: His role in most villainous team ups. He creates the main forces, and usually leads them in battle. Moral Event Horizon: He keeps trying for this, but it never quite sticks, namely, to get someone to finally deem him so irredeemable that they'd have no choice but to kill him and kill him fast. First Attempt: Infecting San Francisco's drinking water with his nanites, with explicit instruction to deconstruct organic matter they come into contact with. Foiled before anyone died. Second Attempt: Attempting to firebomb Palm Beach and surrounding areas. he succeeded, but most people were evacuated. Third Attempt: Using his Technopathy to instigate a robotic uprising, combining primitive robots with weaponry to create an army he intended to use in order to blaze a trail of omnicide from one corner of the States to the other. Stopped before he could really get going. Nuke 'em: He has employed and attempted to use smuggled nuclear weapons a number of times, including attempting in Book III to hit affluent neighbourhoods with suitcase nukes. Odd Friendship: With Graverobber, Master and Lance. And also with the young Miranda Roman, who he rescued from captivity at the hands of her own family. Omnicidal Maniac: Several of his schemes ring of this, including the Flesh-Hate Plague and the whole Killer Robot Army thing. That cross country trip was a test drive. Perpetual Frowner Person of Mass Destruction: Given how much of the world is technology, and his incredible abilities besides, he's easily in this category. Interestingly, he also creates lower level People of Mass Destruction, The Eradicators, via a specific nanite configuration. Pet the Dog: During the time Matthew is thought dead, he just feels empty of purpose - not even his own death-seeking methods could free him of that feeling. So he decides to fill in for Matthew, disguising himself as him in order to make sure other enemies don't get wise ideas. He was legitimately confused by this, as he thought he'd be happy his hated Arch-Enemy was dead. Red Eyes, Take Warning: His cybernetic side has a glowing red eye that when it really glows brightly, that is a sign he's going to use his almost uniformly One-Hit Kill "spread-effect destructor beam". Red Right Hand: Easy way to tell this guy is a bad guy? Look at his right hand, and how it is consistently described as if its made of cords covered with red armor, with the digits on his hand ending in small scythe blades. Revenge Before Reason: He did not necessarily care that the forces he was arrayed against included the government among others, and that there were already people trying to take Sharon down. For revenge, he was willing to slaughter anyone who got in his way, no matter who they are. Ridiculously Human Robot: Eradicators look as human as you or me...until they need a weapon. Then you're treated to arms sliding in half to shoot a laser beam at you from a barrel. They're basically They Look Just Like Everyone Else, until the time for battle starts. Then, Evil Makes You Monstrous. Easily ranking among his scariest creations, even given the flesh-warping nanites. Robeast: The Iron Armada; built on the basis of existing animals, the Iron Armada creatures are usually around six meters tall, and armed to the teeth. Serial Escalation: Over time, his plans get more drastic, involve more death and destruction as he becomes frustrated with his continued existence. Eventually, they include brainwashing nanites, nuclear weapons and armies of robots. Shapeshifter Weapon: He can create any sort of weapon, including something reminiscent of a Warhammer 40K Bolter. Straw Nihilist: He has suffered so much, been killed so many times, and has came back so many times, he seems to have given up on any idea of peaceful coexistance, instead speaking at length about the "lies" and "illusions" people live under, and how the world is full of "fake things and unpunished crime." One of those crimes? Allowing him to continue to exist. Suicidal Cosmic Temper Tantrum: A few times, most notably when he tried to build a machine that would detonate the internal portions of the Earth outward with greater force. He did not care that it would kill him - he relished it. Technopath: He can make any technology try to kill you, up to Paranoia Fuel levels. Ever thought of your phone's wires flying up and strangling you to death in a few, brutal seconds? It also helps with his Evil Genius work. Took a Level in Badass: He can cause this; The Silver Crusade was at first just loyalists from the Knights of Prayer that refused to follow their new, sane leadership. When Justin took control, he outfitted them with new weapons, new bodies, gave them a modicum of his immortality (though not to the same degree, as he views that as a curse), and turned their dinky old blimp into his new airship. Past a certain point, he discovered his full abilities. Hence, he became a lot more dangerous and destructive. Tragic Monster: He did absolutely nothing to deserve being turned into a Majitek monster by Amanda, and he makes it plenty clear numerous times he would've preferred a normal life. Translator Microbes: One of his stranger schemes involves inverting this - using nanites to make people perceive hostile words and intentions from everyone else around them as something like a Hate Plague. Two-Faced: Half his face has Matthew's handsome countenance. The other half resembles a mercury silver mask with a red eye, which changes, and matches his expressions. It looks really creepy, especially up close. Unstoppable Rage: When he gets mad, he gets mad. Unwanted Revival: When six of his Eradicators bring him back, he just sobs and asks them why they brought him back. Van Helsing Hate Crimes: His Slayers group claims to defend humanity. This just means that they go around basically murdering anything that could victimize a human, and even have a similar mantra to a well known racist creed - "Pro-Cryptid is a Code Word for Anti-Human!" While he himself is not a racist, he uses them nonetheless. Villain Cred: He has done so much in pursuit of his death that most other New Dawn villains think extremely highly of his competence and threat level. Hector, normally very silly, even has this to say about him; "Heh, its pretty much over now that Henderson's found his target. I think that guy's got murder written into his programming - I've got mad respect for him, and I gotta say, nobody else quite gets things done like him." Villainous Breakdown: Most spectacularly when he found out in Tri-Age Cataclysm that the guy he had allied with was lying about being able to kill him. Villain Team-Up: A large number of times, but in the crossover Tri-Age Cataclysm, he mostly allies with Omnicidal Maniac's, in hopes the end of the world will mean the end of him. Another one in canon occurred involving Lord Eclipse, Ares, Cyber-Matt, Parallaxus, and Siuldar. We Can Rebuild Him: Amanda did not think letting Justin die would be good, so she rebuilt him using Neostasis, Viseilian Technology and Majitek. Also counts as Came Back Wrong. Who Wants to Live Forever?: He certainly does not. Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: His life pre-rebuilding was horrible, it was only starting to get better, but was dashed. Post-Rebuilding? He is easily one of the most dangerous of Matthew's enemies, a foe who wears his countenance twisted with cybernetics and misguided, maddened rage, alternating between motives of revenge and seeking death. And he has a very good reason to want some revenge on some of the people he wants revenge on. Worf Had The Flu: His first fight with Matthew was actually rather easy on Matt, largely because Cyber-Matt hadn't figured out his powers yet, he was consumed in Unstoppable Rage, and had already fought six of Sharon's officers. You Killed My Family: His real family was always that circle of friends he made - so when Gavin killed them, he became hellbent on revenge on Sharon's forces and those affiliated with Gavin, and due to their status as her successors, the Anti-Magical Faction. He is uniquely dangerous to them because of his Technopathy. Zero Percent Approval Gambit: He wants to become so hated by people at large that they find a way to kill him.
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Feb 5, 2014 10:28
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Inspector Zenigata fucked around with this message at 22:54 on Apr 2, 2014 |
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Feb 5, 2014 10:30
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quote:Weaknesses: While his adaptive ability makes him hard to kill or even damage permanently, its adaptation only works against the method's precise settings at the time it was used on him. It appears a massive, concerted force exerted over his entire frame would be good enough to put a technical end to him. quote:"I have been ripped to pieces, disemboweled, my head has been torn off, my brain has been crushed, I have been thrown into a trash compacter, I have been melted, shattered, frozen, broken and flayed. None of that worked. I've even been thrown through a black hole, used as a human missile through a gas giant, and most recently teleported into the heart of a Supernova. As you can see, none of that worked either. I want to die. I will keep killing - kill me if you can." So it applying pressure on his frame doesn't really work? Did you read through all that yourself Crowfeather? Be honest. I didn't make it through.
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Feb 5, 2014 10:41
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Inspector Zenigata fucked around with this message at 22:54 on Apr 2, 2014 |
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Feb 5, 2014 10:43
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Darth TNT posted:Did you read through all that yourself Crowfeather? Be honest. I didn't make it through. Oh god no. I can't quite believe someone wrote it all himself, either. E: It's like a child making up a story, just random powers and things he thought of with no rhyme or reason.
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Feb 5, 2014 10:44
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crowfeathers posted:Backstory: In hindsight, it is pretty amazing he did not break sooner. He came from a largely abusive family, his mother had married his father by simply mind controlling the poor bastard, wanting him only for his looks, and thinking he'd love her back if she made it known she could at any time simply control him again. That alone says what kind of person his mother was. He often described her as his motivation to become a hero, if only to eventually defeat her. His father viewed him more as a disgusting "it" than as a son, even referring to him as "that thing". He was enrolled in a religious school, presided over by our old friend Elijah Gibbs. There, a lot of really bad stuff happened, including bullying that lead to him almost falling off a building, being beaten so badly that he got a compound fracture at one point, and an attempted molestation of Justin by one of the priests, while people walked on and did not even look at him or pay him any mind. When he tried to tell people, he was accused of lying and slandering a man of God, and that he should "accept everything God gives him". And when he tried to take the story to police, Elijah covered everything up. However, thankfully, after he managed to graduate, he moved in with some friends, took a ride away from town, and has since never spoken to his parents again. Those friends turned out to be the very group of heroic wannabes we see him with in II. They discovered magic at some point, though the Masquerade was never in place for Justin due to his circumstances. Even though Justin's school was not well acknowledged, they all managed to get into a good college together to study while doing their heroics. Things were looking up for them...
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Feb 5, 2014 11:10
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I hope this character is just an awkward mash-up of tropes because if it is a projection of all of the authors' hangups, jeez, that kid needs a lot of counseling. 
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Feb 5, 2014 11:25
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Incoherence posted:It's like reading off the author's list of personal hangups: women, religion, getting bullied at school... Well where did you think the author got the inspiration for his cool badass insert?  Arcsquad12 posted:The biggest problem that troper writers have is the lack of editing. Hah, I can't even read through my own stories without editing lines all the time. There are times I wish word editors had a way to show documents side by side so I could just glance at the old text while rewriting it almost from scratch whenever I'm wholly unsatisfied with the stuff I write.
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Feb 5, 2014 12:00
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Inspector Zenigata posted:I know we joke around, but this has to be one of the lamest sentences ever constructed, right? Reread it. It's so outlandishly pathetic I struggle to reconcile that a real person thought that it was badass or dark and mysterious or whatever. It reads kind of like a parody of stereotypical TV Tropes writing, but I must assume that it is not.
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Feb 5, 2014 12:06
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Good news everyone! I can't believe noone's posted this yet: Winners tvtropes writing contest posted:Entry #1 - It Only Took the Night to Believe: 62.5 (19.5 + 22 + 21) Link Just a quick reminder on what it was about : quote:This writing contest's theme is to write a story that takes place in a single location in a single night. In the planning thread, there was some discussion as to what qualifies a single location: e.g., whether a hospital counts or whether you're limited to a single room in the hospital. I think, in the spirit of the Classical unities, we're going with the latter. Yes, I said "I think" which implies I'm not certain and I'm running this thing. Make of that what you will. Heh, they have a trope page on their own writing contest.
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Feb 5, 2014 12:53
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Arcsquad12 posted:You hear that guys? Using one word in favor of several small ones breaks up the narrative flow. Now, Christopher Paolini is a pretty awful writer, but honestly, I'd rather have one word sum up a situation than a million little ones that Tropers love to fill up their word quota. aka thesaurus abuse. Even good writers (coughCHINAMIEVILLEcough) are sometimes guilty of it.
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Feb 5, 2014 14:25
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I wonder how people fall into the purple prose trap. The dialogue and narration in comics and video games tends to be pretty simple, especially if it's being translated from another language (read: Japanese), so you'd think they'd copy the simple style of what they're used to.
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Feb 5, 2014 14:43
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Broniki posted:I wonder how people fall into the purple prose trap. The dialogue and narration in comics and video games tends to be pretty simple, especially if it's being translated from another language (read: Japanese), so you'd think they'd copy the simple style of what they're used to. No, it's pretty consistent with a troperish surface reading of fiction. Smart people use a more varied vocabulary, so therefore the more long words you add, the smarter your writing becomes.
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Feb 5, 2014 14:49
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Cooked Auto posted:Hah, I can't even read through my own stories without editing lines all the time. I thought I was the only one who did that. quote:There are times I wish word editors had a way to show documents side by side so I could just glance at the old text while rewriting it almost from scratch whenever I'm wholly unsatisfied with the stuff I write. Well, what I do is highlight the crappy/"needs improvement" parts (or color them in something other than black) and save my rough draft as a "read-only" file so it can't be edited. Then I open a new file, and start from there. Or, you can print out your draft and go through it with a pen (in any color that sticks out, like blue, red, purple, green). That's how I did it in those scary, primitive days when I had to rely on the school library/computer lab to print my work out rather than do it at home. These days, I'd use that and some Post-It notes. quote:Smart people use a more varied vocabulary, so therefore the more long words you add, the smarter your writing becomes. Oh, I had that problem too when I was starting out -- until I went to college and learned things like "word economy" and "learning how to not so much 'dumb it down', but make it readable to those who might not understand big words like you do."
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Feb 5, 2014 15:31
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Darth TNT posted:Good news everyone! Let's see how far I get with the winner.... Of course it's a generic fantasy setting. [Six paragraphs later] He's going to try to use the identity of one of his main characters as a "shocking" "twist" isn't he... [Flip ahead] Nope, he just calls the character "boy" until someone introduces him a third of the way through the story. Two of the major characters are named Renner and Messer. Having two characters with 50% of the name in common in the same structure and whose names are the same length isn't confusing at all. It's a weak story so I'm skimming it. It appears that there's no conflict in the story and it just whimpers out at the end. I've run into worse writing but there's nothing in this story to get or hold anyone's interest.
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Feb 5, 2014 15:37
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| # ? May 25, 2024 16:46 |
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Yesterday I finished reading The Master and Margarita, which is considered one of the most important works of the 20th century. So, let's see what TvTropes has to say about it!quote:We don't have an article named Analysis/TheMasterAndMargarita. quote:Fan Disservice: All female guests at the Satan's Great Ball are naked. And they were chosen and invited for their evilness, not for the youth and beauty.  And as usual, the page is incredibly short compared to such masterpieces like MLP or Warhammer 40k.
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Feb 5, 2014 15:57
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